46. Twenty, First Love

“Yes. I will think more about the proposal you mentioned.”

Soohyun eventually cut off the dean and hurried to end the conversation. A fleeting unpleasant expression crossed the face of the business school dean, who was old enough to be his father, but Soohyun didn’t care.

He wanted to get outside quickly and find Haein more than anything.

“I will contact you again soon.”

He bowed politely and quickly walked out of the academic hall.

“Ah...”

As he rushed out of the building like someone being chased, he saw Haein’s back standing in front of the academic hall.

Only after visually confirming that she was waiting for him did a sense of relief wash over him.

It was a strange day.

Was it because it was the first time he had visited the school in a long time? Or was it because the person he was with was his whole world back then?

Looking at Haein’s back, Soohyun barely managed to hold back something that was about to burst forth from the depths of his heart.

He could have gone right up to her and spoken, but somehow he felt like he shouldn’t.

The wind was warm, and Haein’s back standing under the tree was as familiar as it was when she was twenty.

A dull pain struck his chest.

‘I don’t need children. How many times do I have to say it?’

‘To that extent...’

‘You’re the one who chose this. You want a pregnancy, and I don’t need it, so this is the best we can do.’

The harsh words he had spoken to her came to mind, piercing Soohyun’s heart.

The person who must have been hurt was clearly Haein. How dare he feel pain after uttering such words? That was the height of audacity.

‘It’s none of your business.’

When he had firmly concluded the conversation, Haein’s eyes looking up at him were incredibly sad.

As a woman who cherished her family, she must have taken the words to erase the life within her as a shock.

‘You’re disgusted, aren’t you? By a bastard like me.’

A long sigh scattered in the air.

Soohyun couldn’t bring himself to take a step and stood rooted to the spot, just like he had done so many times long ago, watching Haein’s back for a long time.

***

After the lecture ended, Haein waited for Soohyun outside the academic hall for quite a while.

Everything on campus was familiar, yet at the same time, it felt somewhat strange. It felt like she had just graduated yesterday, but she already felt like a stranger, which made her feel lonely.

As she watched the tree shadows swaying in the breeze, she suddenly felt a presence and turned around to see Soohyun standing there.

“When did you get here?”

“Just now.”

He had both hands in his pants pockets and strode up to stand beside Haein.

“What were you thinking about?”

“I was just thinking that nothing here has changed.”

“What would change?”

“I guess so.”

“Shall we take a walk?”

Following Soohyun, who started walking slowly, Haein also walked.

There was a short, cherry blossom-lined path next to the academic hall. When Haein had entered the university, it was famous as a dating spot among students, but it had been closed around the time of her graduation due to the construction of the academic hall.

The tree-lined path, which had been restored along with the completed academic hall, was deserted, perhaps because it wasn’t yet well-known.

Walking among the cherry blossom trees, whose buds were just beginning to swell, Haein occasionally stole glances at Soohyun walking beside her. He was walking at a distance that was neither too close nor too far.

“......Hey.”

Soohyun, who had been walking silently, stopped at the end of the path. It was where the stairs leading to the student union building began. Soohyun sat on the edge of the stairs and looked at Haein.

“I saw you for the first time here.”

“Here?”

Haein sat down beside Soohyun, asking back.

She kept a distance that was neither too close nor too far. Just like Soohyun had been a moment ago.

It felt somehow difficult to sit close, but she also didn’t want to sit too far away.

A warm spring breeze carrying warmth gently lifted Soohyun’s hair. Watching Soohyun’s hair, which had fluffed up and then settled down again, Haein turned her head in the direction of his gaze.

He was looking at a group of students walking in the distance.

The campus, welcoming a new semester, was full of the vibrancy of freshmen. Haein felt a sense of freshness from the students occasionally taking selfies with various parts of the school as their background.

After thinking for a while, looking at the scene before her, Haein answered Soohyun’s words.

“I don’t really remember when I first saw Sunbae.”

“Really? I was quite famous, though?”

“You were famous. I heard your name from this person and that person since the freshman orientation.”

“But you don’t remember?”

“...You know, I was always busy. I didn’t even have time to pay attention to other people’s affairs.”

The two sat in silence for a while, watching the students coming and going on campus. It was a strangely languid afternoon.

Watching the students walking with their application forms, Haein chuckled.

“Do you remember the major textbook? Mankiw’s Economics.”

“Ah.”

Soohyun shook his head as if he was fed up with it.

“No, I want to say I don’t remember.”

“Really? I feel a strange fondness when I think of that book.”

“Fondness? Are you crazy?”

Haein laughed, watching Soohyun look at her in surprise.

“I actually thought I wouldn’t be able to get into university. It was hard even to afford the entrance fee. But when I finally received the major textbook, it hit me that I had become a university student, and I burst into tears.”

“......”

Soohyun didn’t know how to respond to Haein’s words and remained silent. Then Haein’s cheeks turned slightly red, and she made an embarrassed expression.

“Ah, that’s too pathetic a story, isn’t it? Sorry.”

“No. It’s not like that.”

He should have replied coldly as usual, but it felt strange.

Soohyun thought there was a breeze blowing in his heart. He felt strange inside. It was ticklish, and also empty. He somehow felt immersed in a feeling of returning to his childhood.