Chapter 69: Ten Thousand Li of Frost (1)

◎Mutual Affection◎

Zhou Tan felt his fingertips trembling.

“I...”

He recalled the first time he practiced swordsmanship at the age of five. His mother held his arm and stood with him for a long time until his arm ached unbearably. Only then did she carefully sit him down and bring him some fruit.

“Tan’er must study hard and practice martial arts diligently. In the future, you will protect our Great Yin like your father and become a great hero.”

Before the age of fifteen, he had believed that Zhou Shu was his biological father. Even after Zhou Yang was born, Zhou Shu treated him very well. He often watched the pitiful young Zhou Yang practicing horse stances in the courtyard and secretly slipped an ice cube into his palm when he was about to faint from the heat.

The moonlight in Lin’an was soft and gentle, clearly the same moon, yet it felt entirely different from the one in Ruo Zhou.

Even the moon seemed more enchanting when it reached Lin’an.

In his youthful arrogance, he had liked many things. He loved the colorful flowers blooming all over Lin’an in spring, galloping through the streets with friends to admire a lotus flower together, the moon lute of Chun Niang at Zhaoyue Tower who sold her art but not her body, and “Father,” Mother, and younger brother.

Then, overnight, he lost everything. Clutching his younger brother, he fled Lin’an. Now, all that remained in his memory was a pitch-black night.

Later, he came to Bian Du.

Although his aunt would often chatter in front of him about how his mother had acted recklessly in the clan, audaciously eloping to the western border, which led to her own expulsion by the main family, he knew that deep down, his aunt still cared for his mother. Every Qingming Festival, she would take him to Xiuyuan Temple to burn incense for his parents.

Ren Shiming and Zhou Yang were very close. Both respected and loved him. After their parents passed away, he fell severely ill and could no longer practice martial arts. To uncover the obscure events surrounding his mother’s final days, he studied tirelessly day and night. Only when he saw his two playful brothers could he relax for a moment.

And... his teacher.

Just after passing the palace examination, he encountered Fu Qingnian, whom his mother deeply hated, and played a fierce game of chess against him, almost revealing his murderous intent. It was Gu Zhiyan who covered for him and took him under his wing, investigating the matters he most wanted to know.

Even though he had lost much, at that time, he always felt that he still had people protecting him and others who needed his love. The intertwined hatreds of previous generations weighed heavily on him. Standing atop Fan Tower, gazing at the misty landscape, all he could recall was his mother’s words: “Protect Great Yin.”

In the fourteenth year of Yongning, Zhou Tan entered Dianxing Temple. The following year, the candle-lighting case erupted, and Gu Zhiyan drowned himself. Zhou Tan fainted while kneeling in Xuande Hall, receiving the emperor’s pill “Lone Duck.”

Three months in the imperial prison finally shattered his pride and arrogance.

The scent of blood seeped into every fiber of his being, impossible to wash away no matter how hard he tried.

Ren Shiming came to his door and threw the precious books he had once given him back in his face. Zhou Yang severed ties with him and resolutely joined the army, never returning home again. On the day of Gu Zhiyan’s funeral, he sat alone in the cold, dark room, hugging himself and thinking somewhat mockingly that the things he cherished always slipped away.

Empty mountains and rivers evoke distant thoughts.

Falling flowers and wind deepen the sorrow of spring.

In truth, he desired very little.

As a youth, he only wished for the health and happiness of his family.

As an adult, even after learning the old stories of those gone, he never entertained other thoughts. He followed his teacher’s advice, constantly reflecting on himself, holding onto the last shred of his original heart amidst turbulent times, hoping to feel no shame towards himself and to honor his family.

But later, these people also left him one by one.

If one were to count, before the assassination attempt in the fifteenth year of Yongning, he had already lost all hope. If he had died then, it might have been a kind of relief for the Zhou Tan of the past.

However, when he awoke from his unconsciousness, he saw the woman before him.

Zhou Tan opened his eyes and saw Qu You’s face very close to his. She was gazing at him intently, showing no displeasure despite his struggles and hesitation, patient and gentle, confident and calm.

It was as if after meeting her, he regained his friends and accomplished many things he had never dared to dream of before. Even now, under the moonlight, though he clearly remembered the lessons of the past, he couldn’t bear to loosen his grip.

Perhaps it was his final indulgence.

“I like you.” His voice trembled as he answered.

“I like you too.”

Qu You buried her head into his neck, embracing him tenderly. Her tone was light and joyful.

Her emotions had always been straightforward, burning brightly like the rising sun.

Even though they both knew each other’s feelings well, such sincerity still made his heart flutter.

Qu You happily swayed gently, then suddenly spoke again, unsure whether she was speaking to him or to herself: “Under the flowers and moon, making eternal vows, liking you, loving you—there are more graceful ways to express this… I used to scoff at such notions, thinking that if it were me, I would never be so clichéd. But in this moment, I can’t think of any other way. I just feel that being a cliché person is quite nice.”

He felt the same way.

Once, looking at the vibrant red flowers and green willows, the bustling comings and goings seemed boring, even the sound of firecrackers felt noisy. Pairs of newlyweds with blushing faces appeared to him merely as wearing splendid clothes and bearing shackles.

At nineteen, Zhou Xiaobai was preoccupied with planning how to abolish the Tang Hua Decree without harming the people.

Now, however, on the night he returned home, he worried all the way about whether his wife harbored any resentment over the farcical wedding banquet of the past.

“By the way, what did you want to tell me earlier?”

Qu You placed her hand on his shoulder and pressed lightly, intending to push him away. But Zhou Tan held her tightly, showing no intention of letting go.

“I want to hold another wedding banquet for you,” Zhou Tan replied hoarsely. “Naji, Wenming, the three letters and six rites—I want to send many betrothal gifts, choose an auspicious day... ride a horse through the streets ostentatiously, personally lift you out of the bridal sedan, and you must bow with me, drink the nuptial wine, scatter the bed, and tie our hair together…”

“Before, when you were by my side, I always felt it wasn’t real. After I was attacked, I opened my eyes and saw you… Why did you appear? I was really afraid, afraid that you were just a delusion or illusion that I conjured up at that time to keep myself alive… Perhaps one day, you would disappear.”

He had never spoken such words before.

Qu You’s heart softened, and she didn’t know what to say to comfort him. She could only raise her hand to gently stroke his back, repeating over and over: “I’m here, I won’t leave you.”

Zhou Tan reached out and tightly clasped her hand, so forcefully that the veins on the back of his hand stood out.

“You said it.”

Before Qu You could open her mouth, a mourning poem vividly surfaced in her mind.

But at this moment, she had no extra thoughts to worry about too much. The night was short, and there was probably nothing more important in the world than holding onto the person in front of her.

“I said it,” she made up her mind and promised in a low voice, “I will always be with you. This life is too short; there’s also the next life, and the thousand years after that. For all eternity, I will be by your side.”

Zhou Tan’s voice actually carried a hint of sobbing: “Now that we are in Ruo Zhou, if you dislike those Machiavellian affairs, I... I will travel with you, alright? We’ll go see the Singing Sand Bay and Crescent Spring, visit the famous mountains and rivers you yearn for. If you desire freedom, I will show you that staying by my side can also bring freedom.”

It was as if these were words she had spoken on their wedding day. Zhou Tan remembered them so clearly, having replayed them countless times in his mind.

He finally loosened his grip slightly and looked at her with moist eyes. Qu You reached out to cup his face earnestly and said, “That day when we ascended Fan Tower together, you asked me what I sought in life.”

“You are more important to me than the truth of history,” she didn’t know if he would understand, but she had to say it, “So even though I don’t know what the future holds, I am willing to make a promise to you at this moment.”

Before entering Ruo Zhou, she had vaguely contemplated the future amidst the desert’s wind and sand. Only now did she fully comprehend.

For Zhou Tan, she could muster the courage to defy history and fate. Even though the future was murky, as long as she held onto one pair of hands, she had the determination to walk alongside him.

During these days, being here, she could no longer remain an outsider to history. Moreover, she had personally witnessed the hardships of the displaced people in the western borderlands, the sorrows of the beggar children in Bian Du, the turbulent changes within the court, and the cold, merciless imperial power.

The clear rivers and calm seas Zhou Tan sought his whole life amounted to ensuring that there would be no abandoned children in Bian Du and peace in the western borderlands, that those in power would heed advice, and that tragedies like those of Xiao Yue and Gu Zhiyan would never happen again.

If such things could be achieved, her ideals wouldn’t exceed that.

“When Ziqian successfully ascends the throne and all national calamities and family grudges are cleared, I will resign from office and travel with you to explore the world... I always felt I couldn’t wait for such a day, but now I feel that as long as you’re here, no matter the circumstances, I can endure.” Zhou Tan painted an ideal future for her, his gaze flickering slightly, “A Lian, do you think we’ll live to see that day?”

“Of course.”

“I don’t know how to make you understand,” Zhou Tan lowered his eyes and murmured, “but... I love you as much as I love this land. I once made a vow to my teacher, and now I make the same vow to you. I will use all my strength to protect you until the day I die.”

Before he finished speaking, Qu You leaned over and pressed her lips against his.

The touch was soft, carrying the scent of still water.

Zhou Tan froze momentarily.

He experienced an unprecedented dizziness, spreading from their touching lips throughout his body, warm, slippery, and fragrant.

“Open your mouth,” Qu You whispered in his ear, seemingly with a hint of helpless reproach, “Close your eyes.”

He followed her instructions, still not knowing where to place his body, but instinctively pulled her into his arms, holding her tighter and tighter.

If they could meld together, that would be perfect.

When the kiss ended, he secretly opened his eyes and saw her blushing face, slightly breathless, yet giving him a sweet smile.

“You...” Zhou Tan felt himself stutter, “Why are you so skilled?”

Better to ask why an ancient man would be so pure-hearted.

Though she had never been in love, she had at least seen images. Zhou Tan, however, was completely clueless.

Qu You couldn’t help but reach out to touch his pretty lips, which were slightly red from her kisses, somewhat speechless: “You’re the one who’s too inexperienced, and you dare to speak?”

She felt embarrassed after saying this and tried to cover it up by standing up from the pavilion and fanning herself: “Oh dear, this early summer weather, how did it suddenly become stifling...”

She hadn’t taken a few steps before her gauzy sash was pulled by Zhou Tan, nearly tripping her. He then scooped her up horizontally.

Zhou Tan carried her all the way back to his room. When they moved to Ruo Zhou, they were still sleeping in separate rooms, which had puzzled Aunt Yun quite a bit.

Qu You lazily lay on his bed, feeling the hardness bite into her. The servants had already closed the door for them. Without saying a word, Zhou Tan fetched water and carefully wiped off her rouge.

“You seem quite skilled at this, how...”

She hadn’t finished speaking when Zhou Tan cleaned her face and immediately leaned in to kiss her.

In the garden earlier, perhaps due to the night, his lips were cold. Now, they were heated by the flickering candlelight in the room, making her shiver.

Qu You belatedly realized he must have drunk more than just the wine they had shared earlier. He had dinner at the Xiang Ning Marquis’ residence before returning, who knows how much more he drank.

“Since Madam says I’m inexperienced, it’s best to practice diligently.”

At dawn, when the first light appeared, Qu You woke up groggily from Zhou Tan’s hard bed, finally certain that both of them must have been drunk last night.

She glanced down and found her clothes still on, and Zhou Tan hadn’t even taken off his outer robe. Only his shoulder had been pulled down by her, leaving a retaliatory bite mark.

Qu You rubbed her eyes and gradually recalled the events of yesterday. The more she thought about it, the hotter her cheeks felt. She intended to quietly get out of bed, stepping over Zhou Tan, but inadvertently noticed the suspicious upward curve of his lips.

“Don’t pretend to be asleep.”

Qu You pinched his chin, and Zhou Tan was amused, opening his amber eyes, his voice hoarse, showing a demeanor he had never displayed before: “Did I learn well?”

After recalling everything, she had to admit that Zhou Tan, who was quite adept at studying, was also skillful in learning other things.

Thus, she pounced into his arms and sincerely praised him.

“Very good, truly a natural talent.”