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Another day passed, and Grace, who almost never gossiped, said to her, “I have some gossip.”
“? What’s going on, Sister Grace?”
“In the future, you should be careful what you say in front of Yilia and Luke. A colleague ran into them having dinner together last night.” After saying this, Grace sent a photo. Perhaps out of kindness, she was warning Shang Zhitao to be cautious.
It was at a Western restaurant. Luan Nian and Song Ying were sitting across from each other. The atmosphere of the restaurant was very romantic, and Song Ying was wearing a beautiful evening gown. They were talking about something; Luan Nian was looking at her intently while she smiled.
The workplace is strange like that. Very likely, it was just a casual dinner between colleagues, but the news spread so quickly, and rumors rapidly emerged, creating a mistress out of thin air.
Having experienced these years, Shang Zhitao gradually learned to see through the truth and falsehood of the workplace. She trusted Luan Nian. He simply enjoyed working with Song Ying.
Shang Zhitao devoted herself to her career and also enjoyed life in the northwest. On ordinary days, she worked and studied with great seriousness. Occasionally, Sun Yuanzhu would take time off his busy schedule to take her out for fun.
There were many interesting places around the county town.
Sun Yuanzhu drove her to see the vast landscapes of the northwest, circling the county town, making round trips of two hundred kilometers in a single day—all part of the magnificent scenery of the motherland.
Shang Zhitao did not regret coming to the northwest. Life here was tough, but she knew how to find joy amidst hardship. She believed that work had to go through this phase—escaping the storm to truly feel its charm.
Passing by Lingmei’s project, Shang Zhitao pointed it out to Sun Yuanzhu: “See that? That’s our project. We will develop an entirely new cultural tourism industry belt here—northwest humanities and scenery, online technology applications. If this project succeeds, it can be replicated.” After saying this, she patted her chest proudly: “I, Ms. Shang Zhitao, am the project manager of this project.”
Sun Yuanzhu laughed at her: “Are you that amazing?”
“Yes!”
“Then I wish your project every success.”
“I also hope your unmanned vehicle hits the road soon.”
The northwest was vast. Sun Yuanzhu rolled down the car window, and they felt as if they were in an uninhabited wilderness. The wind blew Shang Zhitao’s long hair, making her feel free.
“Will you return to Beijing anytime soon?” Shang Zhitao asked him.
“The second phase of the project will end early next year. Around April, I should be able to go back.”
“That’s great.”
“Didn’t you mention changing jobs last time?” Sun Yuanzhu remembered Shang Zhitao mentioning wanting to change jobs last year, but now there was no movement, and she had come to the northwest.
“My previous boss wanted to poach me for his new company. I also wanted to go, but... he... got arrested.” Shang Zhitao thought that doing marketing work actually carried a lot of risks. She had known before, even though she was cautious, she was still audited once.
“Why?”
“He was accused of being involved in a massive bribery case. The exact amount is unknown, but he has already been arrested. I visited him once. After all, he was my former boss and recognized my talent.” Speaking of Alex, Shang Zhitao sighed with emotion, recalling meeting him for the first time in the office, which seemed like yesterday.
“Is that so...” Sun Yuanzhu nodded: “Not changing jobs isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
“Yeah.”
Both fell silent, hearing only the sound of the wind. When Sun Yuanzhu drove, he was very focused. Shang Zhitao looked at his weathered face, thinking how he could endure loneliness, staying in such a place for several years. The wind and sand changed people; his once delicate face now bore the rugged contours of the northwest.
“Is Auntie feeling better?” Shang Zhitao recalled overhearing Sun Yuanzhu’s phone call about his family, but since he rarely mentioned them, she didn’t know the developments.
“My mom... passed away.” Sun Yuanzhu told her, his tone flat, as if discussing something mundane.
“When?”
“During the New Year.”
Shang Zhitao remained silent for a long time before softly asking, “Why didn’t you tell us?”
“It was the time when you all reunite with your families every year. I didn’t want to make you sad.”
Shang Zhitao didn’t speak. She remembered messaging him during the New Year, and he had replied. Suddenly, she felt a pang of sadness. When would Sun Yuanzhu be like others and let out his emotions?
“Sun Yuanzhu.”
“Hmm?”
“What about your sister?”
“She studies well.”
“And Uncle?”
“My dad is fine too.”
“And you?” Shang Zhitao really wanted to ask how Sun Yuanzhu was.
“I’m fine too.”
No one could define what Sun Yuanzhu meant by “fine.” They wandered outside all day and had dinner. Sun Yuanzhu dropped Shang Zhitao off. At her building, just as they were parting, he suddenly called out to her: “Tao Tao.”
Again, that “Tao Tao.” On the day he had a high fever and was delirious, he called her the same way: “Tao Tao.”
Shang Zhitao turned to look at him and saw rare sorrow in his clear eyes: “Actually, I’m not fine. I’m very sad.”
Shang Zhitao dared not speak. She didn’t know how to comfort him. He lost his mother, and he was extremely sad.
She stood motionless opposite him. Sun Yuanzhu’s tears flowed down. He took off his glasses to wipe his tears, a helpless man crying. Like being on a deserted island, he couldn’t leave, and no one could enter.
He bent down and rested his head on her shoulder, his tears soaking into her clothes. Even then, in such unbearable pain, he didn’t reach out to embrace her because he remembered his propriety and their pure friendship that mustn’t be tainted.
Shang Zhitao’s heart ached.
Standing there, letting him cry, her hand reached to his back and lightly patted: “Sun Yuanzhu, it’s okay now.”
How could it be okay? She didn’t know how to comfort him. She hated herself for being tongue-tied and clueless. She didn’t realize that just standing there was already a form of comfort to him.
For Sun Yuanzhu, this was already rare light. Both Shang Zhitao and Sun Yu were his lights.
Sun Yuanzhu feared the night. The nights were long. He tried everything—medication, dietary therapy—but nothing worked. His brain wouldn’t stop spinning. The universe, quantum mechanics, architecture, poetry, civilization—all the books he’d read, places he’d been, things he’d eaten—were rearranged in bizarre ways in his mind, as if trying to break him down and rebuild a new system. He barely endured the night, and when morning came and it was time to eat again, he grew weary of food. At first, he forced himself to eat, but afterward, he vomited. He lost his creativity; technology used to be art in his eyes, and he wanted to change the world, but now, in his view, technology had lost its vitality.
These immense pains gnawed at him, consuming him entirely.
“Tao Tao.”
“Sun Yuanzhu.” Shang Zhitao finally couldn’t hold back and cried. This was her friend, the friend who had walked through long times with her. This friend needed her help, but she was so ignorant, not knowing how to help him. She could only watch him sob uncontrollably in front of her.
Shang Zhitao was extremely saddened. They didn’t notice a car parked not far away, the person inside chain-smoking, waiting for the distressed couple to recover.
Luan Nian found the situation somewhat comical. He took the afternoon flight to see her, rented a car after landing, and drove for an hour and a half to get to her building. Yet, he saw her roommate crying on her shoulder. Of course, he knew Shang Zhitao wouldn’t cheat, but he saw her spirit wavering. Why did she have to come to the northwest? Suddenly, he had a clear answer. Waiting was long and boring. Luan Nian didn’t understand why people had so much emotion.
He used to think Shang Zhitao didn’t like to cry, believing she was very strong. He couldn’t remember when she had cried in front of him. Now, seeing her cry like this, it wasn’t in front of him.
After what seemed like a long time, as if the northwest night wind had stopped, they finally calmed down. Luan Nian watched the emaciated Sun Yuanzhu leave Shang Zhitao. They stood facing each other for a while, and then he left.
That night changed many people.
Luan Nian said to Shang Zhitao, “Let’s embark on an adventure,” and they truly did. As he drove toward the airport, the dim lights on the highway illuminated only his speeding car.
Shang Zhitao returned home and called Sun Yu. On the phone, she said, “Sun Yuanzhu’s mother passed away. He is very sad.”
After a long silence, Sun Yu said to her, “I’ll be there tomorrow.”
“I’ll send you the address.”
“No need.” Sun Yu told her, “I’ve been there many times. For him, I have traveled tirelessly through wind and rain, across thousands of miles, time and time again.”
Neither Sun Yuanzhu nor Sun Yu had ever mentioned this to Shang Zhitao. There was a peculiar distance between them. Sun Yu could never fully reach Sun Yuanzhu, yet they were each other’s closest person. Despite their closeness, every time Sun Yu came, Sun Yuanzhu booked a hotel for her. They would never become lovers. Only once, Sun Yu pulled at his sleeve, asking him to stay and talk with her for a while.
That night, they lay fully clothed on the bed. Sun Yu held his hand, talking about her childhood, her failed romances, her investors. Sun Yuanzhu listened as she spoke. When she cried, he wiped her tears.
She asked him, “Can we have a bright future? Can I wait for a future where I love you, you love me, and we walk through many years together?”
Sun Yuanzhu said to her, “I’m sorry.”
They would never have a future.
“Then hurry here,” Shang Zhitao cried to Sun Yu. She didn’t know why, but that day, she felt particularly heartbroken—not just for Sun Yuanzhu, but also for something unknown deep inside her, which suddenly surfaced, leaving her nowhere to vent.
“Okay.”
At that moment, none of them knew where fate was pushing them—east or west, always without warning.
When Sun Yu arrived the next day, Shang Zhitao asked her, “How many times have you come?”
“This is the twentieth time.”
A woman, for the one she loved, traveled thousands of miles to this place, asking for nothing in return, just to share a meal and chat with him before taking the early flight back the next day. This woman’s career took off; large sums of money poured into their company, and the number of users grew rapidly, with annual dividends increasing year by year. In just a few short years, fate had pushed her to the pinnacle of success.
It was this woman, who was about to reach the peak, who repeatedly came to this desolate county to see her beloved.
Shang Zhitao suddenly understood Sun Yu even more.
Sun Yu did not seek any reward from Sun Yuanzhu. She simply loved him purely because of the countless kindnesses he had shown her throughout the years. Sun Yu fell in love with an angel.
“Go see him,” Shang Zhitao pushed her.
“Aren’t you coming?”
“I won’t. I think you two should spend some time alone. I’ll visit the venue first thing tomorrow and then join you.”
Sun Yu giggled. Her laughter remained the same, the hearty laugh of a Guizhou girl: “Shang Zhitao, you’re such a silly girl. I’m off. Tomorrow, let’s go eat roasted lamb legs.”
“Okay.”
Shang Zhitao watched Sun Yu leave, feeling a sense of emptiness. She called Luan Nian, but his phone was turned off. So she messaged him, “Are you on a business trip?”
More than two hours later, Luan Nian replied, “Mm. I’m back.”
“Where did you go?”
“Changsha.” Luan Nian casually threw out a location name, then put down his phone. He never mentioned that he had gone to see Shang Zhitao. He felt there was no need to say anything; adults still needed to maintain decorum.
Despite his hardness, Luan Nian also knew that everyone had scars they didn’t want to reveal to anyone, even if that person might be their lover.
“I’m looking at Luke. Luke seems to have gained weight.”
“Mm, look.”
When he entered, Shang Zhitao was talking to Luke, remotely training him: “Sit down!”
Luke tilted his head, pretending not to understand.
“You’re back?” Shang Zhitao asked him.
He didn’t speak, going straight upstairs to shower. When he didn’t want to talk, he acted like he didn’t hear anything you said. Shang Zhitao noticed he wasn’t happy and didn’t bother him. It wasn’t until bedtime that she wished him goodnight.
Shang Zhitao was particularly good in this respect. No matter what their relationship was, she never had a controlling nature, didn’t cling to him, and wasn’t clingy at all. She entertained herself and took good care of herself.
“Goodnight,” Luan Nian replied.
“Can I give you a bedtime call?” Shang Zhitao sent another message.
Luan Nian dialed her back and heard the sound of flipping papers on Shang Zhitao’s side: “I wanted to ask you about a few questions the government leaders need us to answer at next week’s project launch meeting.”
“What questions?”
“The issue of the cultural tourism project IP. The government leaders pointed out that the IP we currently formulated is not distinctive enough.”
“When was it raised?”
“Tonight.”
The implication was that the government leaders had changed the requirements.
“Arrange a three-way meeting the day after tomorrow. I’ll arrive at noon tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
After hanging up, Luan Nian tagged Yilia in the work group chat: “Tomorrow, come with me to the northwest. The client has changed the requirements. You attend the three-way meeting instead of Grace.”
“Received.”
Shang Zhitao was also in the group. As the project manager, she had to speak at this point: “Thank you, Luke and Yilia. Sales colleagues will arrive from Xi’an tomorrow. The meeting is scheduled for the morning the day after tomorrow. After arriving tomorrow, we’ll communicate internally first.”
“Alright, thank you, Flora,” Yilia responded.
Shang Zhitao put down her phone, ready to sleep. She didn’t question Luan Nian’s judgment. He appreciated Yilia and wanted to give her more opportunities, which was not a problem. Shang Zhitao wasn’t jealous of Yilia; she always admired capable people.
But Lumi told her, “You know? Yilia might become the future boss’s wife.”
“Why?”
“Just found out today. Yilia is the daughter of the middle-level boss of our largest client. That’s why Luke said to invite her to solve major issues. Born with a golden spoon, richer than me.”
After a while, Lumi added, “Richer than me is fine, but she works harder than me too. I’m really useless.”
“As beautiful as you are,” Shang Zhitao reminded her of Yilia’s beauty.
“Damn,” Lumi cursed. “Even Will looks at her differently. But I haven’t slept with him yet, and he’s already looking at someone else. This can’t stand.”
“Don’t worry. She’s the future boss’s wife. Will won’t get to sleep with her.” Shang Zhitao teased her, then put down her phone.
She stayed away from the company’s whirlpool, seeking a peaceful place in the northwest, not wanting to be disturbed by the storms.
The next morning, she and her colleague Shelly from the northwest drove to the airport to pick up Luan Nian and Yilia.
Luan Nian looked a bit tired. He got into Shang Zhitao’s car, fastened his seatbelt, and leaned his head against the headrest. Song Ying got into Shelly’s car. Shelly honked at Shang Zhitao as she passed by and left.
“Haven’t rested well recently?” Shang Zhitao handed Luan Nian a bottle of water. He reached out, took it, and placed it on his lap, staring out of the window. It didn’t seem like a reunion of lovers.
“Mm.”
“The highway journey is not short. You can take a nap. I’ll drive slowly.”
“Okay.”
Luan Nian closed his eyes, and Shang Zhitao started the engine. True to her word, she didn’t drive fast. Shelly called her: “Flora, we’ll go ahead and order dishes at the restaurant.”
“Alright, thank you.”
After hanging up, Shang Zhitao noticed Luan Nian’s hand moving to her thigh, and then his cool fingertips slipped under her skirt, lightly touching her delicate skin. Shang Zhitao accidentally pressed the accelerator unevenly, causing the car to drift slightly on the highway.
“Luan Nian.” Shang Zhitao blushed and scolded him: “It’s dangerous.”
“Shang Zhitao.”
“Hmm?”
“Want to have car sex?” Luan Nian asked her as if teasing.
“…Luan Nian, please take your hand away first. It’s really dangerous.”
“Then why don’t you find a place to park?”
Shang Zhitao turned the steering wheel and drove the car into the service area. Luan Nian’s hand was still mischievously exploring. After parking the car, she grabbed his hand: “Stop. I feel uncomfortable.” Luan Nian leaned over, opening his mouth to nibble on her earlobe. His warm breath entered her ear. Shang Zhitao turned her head, trying to avoid him, but he captured her lips in a kiss.
An indescribable sense of grievance welled up in Shang Zhitao’s heart. She cupped his face with both hands, kissing him passionately.
“Luan Nian, I miss you so much.” Her eyes were wet, as if she was about to cry: “I dreamed of you last night and the night before.”
Luan Nian didn’t say anything, just kissed her. His hand moved from under her skirt to deeper places, causing Shang Zhitao to gasp suddenly.
She never realized she could be this eager. In the empty service area, their car parked in a secluded spot. Luan Nian’s lips continuously kissed her neck and earlobes, his tongue entwining with hers. Shang Zhitao couldn’t divert her attention from his hand. She slightly opened her eyes and looked into Luan Nian’s eyes. His eyes showed no particular emotion as he said:
“But I don’t miss you at all.”
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