CS - 55

Time passed quickly after that.

Lin Zhexia learned that Bai Qin had been discharged from the hospital. Later, Chi Hanshan found an old friend to help out and sold the previously malfunctioning production line at a low price to another manufacturer. Although they incurred significant losses, essentially wiping out the money they had earned over the years, fortunately, their foundation remained intact.

The two decided to start over.

This time, however, their plans no longer revolved solely around work.

They intended to slow down and reclaim the life they had sacrificed.

It’s strange how people sometimes gain much through experiencing loss.

Once Chi Yao no longer had to worry excessively about his family situation, the school entered its closed training period before the college entrance exam. Schools in Jing City even had specialized signal-blocking devices to prevent students from using their phones.

Thus, their chat records stopped two months before the exam.

They ended with Chi Yao telling her these things, and Lin Zhexia replying, “I understand. Good luck on the exam.”

The college entrance exam was in June.

Before the exam, Lin Zhexia’s grades remained stable without further improvement.

She knew that raising her scores further was indeed very difficult; it was impossible for her to break into the top ten of the entire school within just over a year.

Those top students had already established a huge gap between themselves and others since the first year of high school.

Xu Ting was a typical example.

He was smart and learned quickly.

Of course, before this, there was someone else who inspired awe among them—Chi Yao, who chose not to attend No. 1 High School but came to No. 2 High School to undermine their confidence.

Lin He noticed her low spirits during dinner and said, “It’s okay, Xia Xia. This score is already very good. I never dreamed that you could get into a good university. To be honest, from your first day of enrollment, I mentally prepared myself for the possibility that you might fail the college entrance exam.”

Lin Zhexia: “...”

Failing the exam? That wouldn’t happen.

“But I want to go to Jing University,” Lin Zhexia poked at the rice in her bowl, thinking of the best physics program located in Jing City. “My current score is still more than ten points below the minimum admission line for Jing University.”

Wei Ping had recently attended a parent-teacher conference at her school and said, “Lianyun University is also quite good. The other day, when I attended the parent-teacher meeting, your teacher talked to me and suggested you apply to Lian University. It’s a very good school, and your current score makes applying to Lian University a safer choice. Applying to Jing University carries too much risk and can easily affect your performance in the exam.”

Because if she didn’t perform exceptionally well in the exam, the likelihood of her failing to get in would be one hundred percent.

That psychological pressure was unbearable for anyone.

“Lian University has some renowned programs too; some are even better than those at Jing University,” Wei Ping consoled her. “Moreover, we’d feel more at ease if you were in Lianyun. Jing City is so far away, and going there alone, you might have trouble adapting.”

Lin Zhexia: “But...”

After saying “but,” the rest of her words stuck in her throat.

But Chi Yao was in Jing City, and the schools he planned to apply to were there as well.

At that moment, she felt powerless.

She had worked incredibly hard this year, yet the gap between her and Jing University remained insurmountable.

The distance between her and Jing University mirrored the distance between her and Chi Yao.

She couldn’t catch up.

Before filling out her college applications, Chi Yao called her via video.

For some inexplicable reason, Lin Zhexia hung up immediately.

Perhaps it had been too long since they last met, and compared to the longing she felt, seeing him through a video call seemed even more unsettling.

After hanging up, she typed, “I’m outside right now; it’s inconvenient to take a video call.”

Then she dialed a voice call.

“Has your school started the vacation yet?” Lin Zhexia held her phone, cleared her throat, and spoke into the receiver, “Don’t they usually confiscate phones?”

Chi Yao’s voice came through the receiver clearly, “No, it hasn’t started.”

Lin Zhexia: “... So how did you manage to call me? Did you sneak into the principal’s office to steal a phone?”

On the other end of the line, Chi Yao humored her, “Mm, I picked the lock in the middle of the night.”

Lin Zhexia: “...”

After a while, Chi Yao finally said, “I took a leave.”

Lin Zhexia: “Oh.”

After a brief silence, Chi Yao asked, “When will you fill out your college applications?”

Lin Zhexia: “Next week.”

“Which school do you plan to apply to?”

“...”

Lin Zhexia didn’t answer immediately.

Holding the phone, the audacious and impractical idea she had been discouraged from pursuing at the dinner table by Lin He and Wei Ping resurfaced. Tentatively grasping onto that wild thought, she tightened her grip on the phone: “What do you think... about me applying to Jing University?”

Afraid Chi Yao might misunderstand, she added, “I’m just tired of staying in Lianyun and want to escape Lin He’s clutches. Moreover, Tang Shuxuan and the others are planning to apply to schools in Jing City.”

After saying this, she paused.

Anxiously waiting for Chi Yao’s response.

It felt like as long as he gave the word, she could dare to do the most risky thing that everyone disapproved of.

However, after a brief silence, the weary voice of the young man responded, “Apply to Lian University.”

Lin Zhexia’s heart plummeted.

“Your score is better suited for Lian University.”

Even Chi Yao said this.

In fact, she knew it herself.

She could only apply to Lian University.

All her expectations fell flat, and the moment she hung up the call, she fully acknowledged a harsh reality: She and Chi Yao were about to embark on lives completely unrelated to each other.

There would be no more intersections.

They would each go to different universities, and during these university years, they would drift further apart, to the point where they might reconstruct themselves in new stages of growth. And in a few years, the connection between this new “self” and the other person would diminish even further.

Two lines that diverge from a certain point will only grow farther apart, making it difficult to find another focal point.

On the day of filling out college applications, each class was assigned to use computers in the computer lab.

Lin Zhexia sat in front of the computer, feeling the weight of the mouse in her hand.

For half a second, she hesitated, hovering the cursor over “Jing University.”

After completing the application, she didn’t return to the classroom when she left the computer lab.

Chen Lin and Tang Shuxuan noticed her absence and went out to look for her.

When they found her, she was huddled alone at a stairwell corner.

“What’s wrong?” Chen Lin and Tang Shuxuan crouched down in front of her. Initially, they didn’t know what was going on, but upon closer inspection, they noticed Lin Zhexia’s shoulders trembling. If they hadn’t listened carefully, they wouldn’t have heard her faint sobs.

Lin Zhexia buried her face in her knees, her fragmented voice barely audible, “I... I’m just a bit sad.”

Chi Yao had been gone for over a year.

Throughout this past year, she had never cried.

Every day, she smiled, continued living well, and studied diligently, as if Chi Yao’s departure wasn’t something she couldn’t bear.

Over a year.

This was the first time she couldn’t hold back.

“I can’t get into Jing University,” Lin Zhexia trembled all over. “I’m still more than ten points short.”

“Everyone tells me to apply to Lian University.”

“But... but...”

She got to this point and couldn’t continue, choking on her words.

But Lian University was really too far from him.

Her unfinished sentence was understood by Chen Lin and Tang Shuxuan.

Chen Lin asked, “Is Chi Yao applying to Jing University?”

Lin Zhexia kept her head down, not speaking.

Chen Lin awkwardly consoled her, “It’s alright... You can still...”

Chen Lin couldn’t finish her comforting words.

Because she remembered that Chi Yao had been gone for a year, and the phrase “you can still meet” sounded particularly hollow at this moment.

And they were also facing separation. If she, Lin Zhexia, and Tang Shuxuan were admitted to different schools, she couldn’t guarantee they would “still see each other often.”

After crying, Lin Zhexia acted as if nothing had happened.

It was as if she had vented all her emotions in that one instance.

In the end, she still applied to Lian University.

After the college entrance exam ended, Lin Zhexia walked out of the exam hall. That day, under the bright sun, the cicadas chirped again, marking another fervent summer.

Everyone was busy celebrating their liberation from years of hard study, while some felt sentimental amidst their joy due to impending separations from classmates.

Lin Zhexia thought, after turning eighteen, she could no longer dream freely.

She needed to consider more when making decisions. She needed to think about Lin He and Wei Ping. If she applied to Jing University, they would worry. If she applied to Jing University, she was almost destined to repeat a year, which would mean another year of worry for Lin He.

She began to accept a world without Chi Yao after turning eighteen.

After leaving the exam hall, she reported to Chi Yao: “I think I did pretty well. There shouldn’t be any problems. How about you?”

Chi Yao replied in the evening.

Chi Mou: It’s okay.

Chi Mou: Getting into the top few in the city shouldn’t be a big problem.

Lin Zhexia replied: Let me remind you again—showing off invites lightning strikes.

On graduation day, all the teachers took turns giving speeches on stage: “Congratulations to all of you—graduation! And congratulations on achieving good results. Our college entrance exam scores this year are excellent. You will continue your studies at other schools. I hope you won’t forget the three years you spent studying at Cheng’an. With the memories from Cheng’an, continue to move forward to the next phase of your journey.”

Lin Zhexia glanced at Class One’s area.

Xu Ting was sitting with a bespectacled boy.

As she withdrew her gaze, she remembered a distant day when she had dragged Chi Yao through the crowd to check the class assignments on the first day of high school.

After the graduation ceremony, the monitor of Class Seven organized a class dinner.

Lin Zhexia took a photo of the dining table and sent it to Chi Yao.

Chi Yao also sent over a photo of their dinner.

Lin Zhexia didn’t really like sharing these moments with Chi Yao because she didn’t know anyone from his school or class.

The unfamiliar faces of the teachers and students who accidentally appeared in the photos made her feel even more disconnected from his world.

After the dinner ended, Lin Zhexia was about to go home when someone stopped her in the hotel corridor.

It was that same boy from the back row.

The boy from the back row said nervously: “I got into Hai Du City.”

Lin Zhexia nodded: “Congratulations.”

The boy from the back row: “... Although I’ve already told you before, I still want to tell you again today. I like you.”

Lin Zhexia said another “thank you.”

They had already finished the exams, breaking free from the constraints of high school romance. There were no longer excuses about focusing on studying.

Lin Zhexia had drunk a little alcohol at the dinner table, so she felt a bit dizzy. At this moment, something buried deep inside her surfaced, and for the first time on graduation day, she voiced this sentence: “I already have someone I like.”

During the summer vacation after graduation, Lin Zhexia originally thought she and Chi Yao could meet.

But she no longer anticipated it as much as before.

After such a long separation, meeting him became something she wanted to do but dared not.

She feared those countless silences on the phone would become face-to-face reality.

She couldn’t bear such silence.

Because this person in front of her was once her best friend, so close and intimate.

And he was also the person she secretly liked all along.

Whether it was disappointment or relief, this summer Lin He took her abroad once.

They had relatives abroad who were getting married and invited them. Thinking that Lin Zhexia needed to relax after finishing the college entrance exam, Lin He extended their stay for visiting relatives and took her around.

Lin Zhexia still kept in touch with Chi Yao during the holidays.

But she deliberately avoided asking about the schools Chi Yao applied to.

In her subconscious mind, Chi Yao’s grades were definitely enough for Jing University. Moreover, his parents were in Jing City, so they would certainly hope he applied to Jing University.

It would be even harder to meet in the future. Lin Zhexia thought that in a few years, they would go from being strangers to complete strangers.

He Yang also stayed in Lianyun City, coincidentally becoming her “spiritual alumni” once again.

This time, they were closer than in high school since several universities were clustered together, forming a huge “university town.”

“Can you care a little about me?” On the day of freshman registration, He Yang went with her. “We’ve been friends for so many years, and you don’t even know which school I got into.”

Lin Zhexia glanced at him: “I thought you’d already gotten used to it after all these years.”

He Yang: “...”

Before entering university, Lin He prepared many things for her.

She carried her suitcase to register as a freshman.

On the day of registration, the entire school was crowded, bustling with people wearing different clothes, no longer the neatly uniformed look of high school days.

Some had dyed their hair colors that were not allowed in school during the holidays, some started wearing makeup, and others walked hand in hand with their partners into the school gate.

Everything seemed novel and full of hope.

After paying the fees, Lin Zhexia took the map given by the student union and went to find her dormitory.

The girls’ dormitory was half a campus away from the boys’. When she arrived at her dormitory, two people were already there—a short-haired girl and a girl with green-dyed hair, sitting together chatting. Seeing someone come in, they enthusiastically said, “Hi, there are six of us in this dormitory, and you’re the third to arrive.”

Lin Zhexia felt a bit awkward: “Hello.”

They exchanged names. The short-haired one was Qin Lei, majoring in finance, and the green-haired girl was Lan Xiaoxue, studying art.

Lin Zhexia chose a minor language program to study languages.

“Your hair is very cool,” Lin Zhexia couldn’t help but compliment.

Soon, the rest of the dorm mates arrived. Since she wasn’t familiar with them yet, Lin Zhexia didn’t talk much throughout the day.

After finishing setting up her bed and organizing daily necessities, she finally had time to check her phone and saw a message from Chi Yao: Where are you?

This message was sent over two hours ago.

The content of the message was somewhat intimate.

After being apart from Chi Yao for over a year, they rarely had such conversations without distance.

“Where are you,” as if he was waiting for her.

Lin Zhexia shook off this impossible thought and replied: I just got to the dorm.

At this moment, Lan Xiaoxue called out to them: “Let’s go out and have a gathering tonight. We’re in college now; I was so stifled in high school, unable to go anywhere. Now we are college students, we should celebrate.”

She then lowered her voice, “I heard there’s a street near our school with bars.”

Qin Lei said: “Going to a bar on the first day of school, you’re really wild.”

Lan Xiaoxue sought their opinions. Lin Zhexia, usually under Lin He’s supervision, didn’t drink much and hadn’t been to such places, but she was curious and secretly voted in favor: “... Sure.”

“All agreed, let’s go in the evening.”

As a college student, Lin Zhexia clearly felt an indescribable difference.

It was strange. Just two or three months ago, she was still buried in solving problems in her high school classroom. In the blink of an eye, she had left Nanxiang Street, and her life had entered a new journey.

There were many rules in the bars near the school, disallowing anything too chaotic, so compared to outside “bars,” this place looked more like a place to eat and chat.

Without the heavy bar atmosphere, the decoration and layout were simple and clean.

The six of them found a table and ordered some snacks.

After seven o’clock, it got dark outside, and the lights in the shop lit up.

Someone was playing the guitar on stage.

Lin Zhexia wasn’t comfortable in this environment, quietly nibbling on chicken wings while listening to their conversation.

Her phone screen on the table lit up.

Chi Mou: What about now?

Lin Zhexia wiped her hands and replied: What do you mean by “now”?

Chi Mou: Are you still in the dorm now?

Lin Zhexia: No.

She raised her head, unsure whether to tell Chi Yao that she was at a bar.

After thinking for a while, she decided to tell the truth: I’m at a mysterious place now.

Chi Mou: ?

Lin Zhexia: A small bar on the back street of the school.

Lin Zhexia: How about it, cool or not?

After replying to Chi Yao, she stopped looking at her phone and focused on eating her chicken wings. After a while, Lan Xiaoxue brought up gossip: “By the way, do you know? There’s a new student in our school.”

“On the first day of enrollment, more than half of the female students in the grade are secretly investigating who he is.”

Qin Lei thought it was unrealistic: “... What kind of person would make more than half of the girls interested? Don’t listen to these rumors; it’s probably someone bored making things up.”

Lan Xiaoxue: “It’s not made up. My friend saw him with her own eyes. Using her exact words, it was love at first sight. That handsome guy was checking names on the freshmen list, so handsome it made everyone envious. She said she wished her ancestors’ graves would emit smoke so she could be classmates with such a person at Lianyun University.”

Qin Lei: “... Exaggerated.”

Lan Xiaoxue: “Don’t doubt it. I’ll bet with you; he will definitely be on the school forum today.”

After saying that, Lan Xiaoxue turned to ask Lin Zhexia, urgently seeking agreement: “You don’t believe me either?”

Lin Zhexia paused while chewing her chicken wing: “... Uh.”

Lan Xiaoxue: “Forget it! None of you believe me!”

Although Lin Zhexia didn’t believe it,

She inevitably thought of someone.

Someone who, on the first day of high school, had “dominated” Cheng’an.

Lan Xiaoxue sat and listened to the songs for a while, feeling she hadn’t performed well earlier, so she urgently contacted her friend and quickly searched the school forum using keywords: “No, I still need to find it for you. I think we don’t need to wait until tomorrow. Maybe it’s already there. I’ll search for ‘freshman,’ ‘new student,’ and ‘handsome guy.’”

Qin Lei advised her: “Forget it. Don’t bother.”

Lin Zhexia sat on the side watching the spectacle.

After finishing her food, she quietly sat in her seat.

Her phone lit up midway, but she didn’t notice.

When Lan Xiaoxue shouted, “I think I found it,” Lin Zhexia stood up and said: “I’m going to the restroom.”

At this hour, the lights in the bar were getting dimmer.

She passed through the tables and chairs, heading toward single seats ahead, where some people stood together listening to the music. For a moment, she couldn’t find her way and was about to ask someone for directions when unexpectedly, among the overlapping crowds, she saw someone push the door open.

She first saw the hand resting on the door handle. It was strange; it was just a hand. Though this hand was rather good-looking, her heart skipped a beat inexplicably, like in novels, not knowing why she took an extra glance.

Then, the door creaked open.

The person walked into the dim, colorful lights.

He was tall, with excessively long legs.

In the midst of summer, the young man wore a simple black T-shirt. The youthful awkwardness on him had slightly faded, but he was still exceptionally slender.

He had a striking face, with his features accentuated by the light, cold and unrestrained.

The dim light of the bar fell on the silver earring on the young man’s right ear. Amidst the interwoven light, Lin Zhexia almost thought she was dreaming.

After a brief dizziness, she saw Chi Yao walk towards her through the crowd. Under the suddenly bright lights, he looked down at her and called her name: “Coward.”

Lin Zhexia still couldn’t distinguish between reality and illusion.

Because.

The last time she heard the word “coward” was a long time ago.