#180: Reunion (2)

He accepted the fruit but didn’t eat it.

She knew he rarely ate loquats. During the years she spent by his side as a child, she had hardly seen him eat them. They both preferred grapes more, likely because her Wuyu Courtyard had grapevines. Whenever the season came, she would personally pick the round grapes and bring them to the Forget Room to share with him. Most of the time when she visited, he was buried in the endless pile of official documents, too busy to even lift his head. Yet every time she came, he would set aside his work to eat grapes with her, always showing great enthusiasm—whether because the grapes were truly sweet or because she had picked them, she never knew.

Shen Xiling didn’t particularly feel like eating loquats at that moment, but she knew that if she didn’t eat, she wouldn’t have an excuse to linger here any longer. Thus, she pretended to be eager to eat the fruit, deliberately peeling it very slowly.

He must have already seen through her, yet he didn’t urge her on. Perhaps this was his final indulgence toward her.

The loquat wasn’t fully ripe. After peeling it, she took a small bite. The sourness lingered, mingled with a hint of bitterness, yet faintly sweet.

Much like everything between them.

Unexpectedly, Shen Xiling’s tears fell, startling even herself. She quickly wiped them away with her sleeve and glanced awkwardly at Qi Yin, offering an absurd explanation: “This… this loquat is too sour…”

What connection could there be between sourness and tears? It was clearly a ridiculous statement, yet Qi Yin responded with a sound of agreement, as if he believed her.

Perhaps he sensed her unease, so he finally kindly helped her out of the awkward situation by asking, “I heard you were ill not long ago. Are you much better now?”

Shen Xiling hadn’t expected him to know about her illness, and for a moment, she felt flattered, quickly replying, “I’ve long since recovered. It wasn’t a big deal to begin with.”

Of course, what she said was a lie.

The severe illness that struck after the tea gathering nearly cost her life. And after waking up, she endured another ordeal during the Buddha Bathing Festival—being caught in the fire and inhaling smoke. Her body was far from healthy at this point.

But knowing she would see him today, she had carefully applied makeup before leaving, using bright rouge to cover her pallor. She stood in front of the mirror for a long while, ensuring she looked free of any trace of illness or fatigue before finally stepping out.

She didn’t want him to worry about her.

Upon hearing her response, Qi Yin nodded slightly. It was impossible to tell whether he believed her or not, but his tone remained indifferent as he said, “Take good care of your health.”

After a pause, he glanced at her briefly and added, “Eat well.”

This remark felt familiar.

When she was young, she didn’t have much of an appetite and often put down her chopsticks after just a few bites due to her small appetite. At that time, she was frail, and he always worried that neglecting meals would harm her health. He would often instruct Shui Pei and the others to watch her while she ate.

Shui Pei and the others were loyal to her. Though they outwardly obeyed him, once he left, she could persuade them to let her stop eating. He later discovered this and sternly reprimanded her. From then on, he tried to accompany her during meals, essentially to keep an eye on her.

Though she didn’t particularly enjoy eating large amounts back then, she loved being with him. As a result, she devised various schemes, pretending she couldn’t finish her meals to force him to stay by her side and urge her to eat, causing him to attend fewer social gatherings.

Those were truly wonderful days.

Recalling these trivial memories, Shen Xiling found them akin to the loquat in her hand—bittersweet. She smiled and nodded in agreement, responding, “Master, you too. Eat well and take care.”

Sitting close to him, she became increasingly aware of his changes—not only was he thinner, but he also appeared colder and more desolate, seemingly unwell. She didn’t know if this was due to the turmoil he experienced after the Buddha Bathing Festival or if he had been sick for a while.

He no longer shone as brilliantly as he did five years ago, instead appearing dimmed, like the moon behind clouds. She knew many Wei people praised the young master of Jiangzuo’s first family as godlike after the tea gathering, but only she knew he was even more remarkable than the rumors portrayed.

She was truly afraid something might happen to him.

Upon hearing her words, Qi Yin nodded in agreement, as naturally as an old friend would. At this moment, another breeze swept through, knocking a loquat leaf onto his lap. As he gently brushed it away, he casually asked, “General Gu knows his priorities. Why did he bring you here today?”

He finally broached the subject, but Shen Xiling didn’t know how to respond.

What should she say?

Should she tell him that she hadn’t forgotten him for a single moment these past five years, even obsessing to the point of engaging in corrupt practices for him? Should she admit she had threatened Gu Juhan, going so far as to endanger his family? Or should she reveal that to ensure his safety and gain the chance to see him, she had surrendered much of her painstaking efforts over the years?

What would he think…

He might grow weary of her obsession, find her foolish, or even consider her clingy.

She truly felt she no longer understood him as she did five years ago. Now, they seemed both familiar and strangers. She could no longer read him.

If that was the case, it was better not to tell him everything. She wanted to remain pure and untainted in his eyes, forever the little girl who had never done anything wrong.

Even if there was no future between them, she hoped his memories of her would remain beautiful.

Thus, Shen Xiling lied at that moment. She said, “I begged him. He has a soft heart and perhaps took pity on me.”

A soft heart?

Gu Juhan?

He was a military officer who had killed countless people in battle. Such a person wouldn’t easily show mercy unless… he considered her an exception.

At this, Qi Yin frowned slightly and recalled the time before the tea gathering when he had silently observed her from behind the screen at Yi Tower. Back then, she seemed to be getting along well with Gu Juhan. On the day of the Buddha Bathing Festival, he had also seen from afar in his carriage how Gu Juhan held her close, appearing very affectionate toward her.

He must have feelings for her… If so, it was indeed possible for him to make an exception for her.

Just like himself—hadn’t he repeatedly made exceptions for her, both in the past and now?

Qi Yin gave a faint smile, his gaze dimming. He didn’t say anything further, only nodding slightly.

Shen Xiling couldn’t tell whether he believed her or simply didn’t want to talk anymore, leaving her somewhat at a loss.

At this moment, she noticed Qing Zhu peeking out from the back courtyard. Their eyes met briefly.

Both were startled, but Shen Xiling recovered first and waved him over.

He reluctantly came around from the back, looking uneasy as he greeted her: “…Greetings, Lady.”

The greeting was perfectly polite, but it stirred emotions in all three present, especially Shen Xiling. Her face paled noticeably, even the bright rouge unable to mask it.

She awkwardly responded.

Qing Zhu himself seemed troubled, avoiding her gaze. He turned instead to bow to Qi Yin.

“Master…”

He hesitated, unsure whether to speak in front of Shen Xiling.

But before he could continue, Qi Yin’s brows furrowed, and with unusual severity, he interrupted, “Leave.”

Qi Yin rarely displayed such sternness, so even Qing Zhu, who had been by his side for over a decade, flinched and hastily bowed before retreating.

Seeing this, Shen Xiling’s heart grew even colder.

Did he truly see her as an outsider? So much so that he wouldn’t even let her hear anything about his affairs.

Was he afraid she would bring trouble? Or did he think she might harm him?

Yet she… would do anything for him.

Shen Xiling lowered her head, unsure what to say or do next. Suddenly, she felt her visit today was a mistake. Though it brought her some comfort, for him, it was likely a heavy burden.

She shouldn’t disturb him anymore.

Unconsciously, her hand tightened, crushing the loquat fruit. Juice dripped down her fingers, but she didn’t notice, trying hard to conceal her crumbling emotions. She looked up and smiled, saying, “I’ve eaten the loquat. Master seems busy, so I’ll take my leave.”

With that, she awkwardly stood up.

Qi Yin seemed surprised by her sudden departure, momentarily stunned, and followed her up.

He gazed at her intently, his hands by his sides twitching slightly, but ultimately, he didn’t make any other move.

He remained silent for a while, his complexion seeming even paler. A flicker of reluctance appeared in his eyes, though Shen Xiling couldn’t be sure—it might have been her imagination.

She heard him say, “Alright… go.”

This was another farewell.

To be honest, this parting didn’t pierce Shen Xiling’s heart as deeply as the last one in Langya. Perhaps because this time she didn’t have as many expectations, and he no longer loved her as much.

He had grown distant, so she needed to strive to become distant as well.

She encouraged herself with this thought, managing to bid him a proper and composed farewell, just as he had taught her.

She turned and left, still hiding the crushed loquat in her sleeve, each step taking her further away from him.

She didn’t know if he was watching her leave. She didn’t dare look back, fearing she would run back to him or shamelessly seek his embrace.

Thus, she walked faster and faster, almost running, the mountain wind stinging her face.

But then she stopped, remembering she hadn’t told him something important.

She wanted to tell him she wouldn’t cause any trouble, but if he ever needed help, he could send someone to find her anytime. After all, he had no strong foundation in Shangjing; here, he was like a dragon stranded in shallow waters. If he needed assistance, she would help without reservation, even if only to repay him for saving and raising her.

Today, she had brought him a token. If his people found it inconvenient to directly contact her at the Duke’s residence, they could use the token to find the manager at her business in Shangjing, ensuring she received the message quickly and could assist him.

Shen Xiling deeply regretted forgetting such an important matter in her earlier emotional state. She had to return and inform him. But if he saw her coming back, would he think her clingy again?

Shen Xiling closed her eyes, steadying herself, then turned back toward the mountain.

Let him think her clingy if he must… compared to that, his safety was far more important.

When Shen Xiling returned to the courtyard, she witnessed a scene she could never have imagined in her wildest dreams.

He had collapsed under the loquat tree, seemingly unconscious. Qing Zhu was kneeling beside him, panicked, next to a shattered porcelain bowl.

Shen Xiling didn’t know what had been in the bowl, but even from a distance, she could smell an unusual fragrance.

The scent was unfamiliar yet faintly familiar.

She racked her brain, trying to recall where she had smelled it before.

…Finally, it came to her.

She had indeed encountered that smell once.

Many years ago, at the Southeast Villa, on a man named Yang Dong.

It was…

…Five-Stone Powder.