45. Old Times

The alma mater, visited after a long time, was awash with spring blossoms.

Just like the weather forecast had predicted an earlier spring than usual, the mid-March weather was milder than average.

As Soohyun entered the campus for his lecture, he felt the clothes he was wearing were a bit warm.

He took off his coat and draped it over his arm, and stood in front of the academic hall. He didn’t go straight inside but paused for a moment to look around the school.

Familiar scenery came into view.

The hilly path he used to walk diligently before going abroad, and if he turned his gaze along that path, there was the business school building he had frequented. And next to it, the business school library.

“......”

A faint smile appeared on Soohyun’s lips as he stood looking at the library.

Instead of the always crowded central library, the business school library was where Haein mainly went.

Around exam time, if he went there, he would find her sitting in the same spot, studying.

Yoon Haein, who even had the nickname “business school library ghost,” even studied at her designated seat during the university festival when everyone else was out having fun.

So, if he wanted to see her, he just had to go to the library.

Always at the same time, in the same spot.

All he did was look at her familiar back from a distance and then turn away, but that was enough. It was simply enough.

Soohyun occasionally went to the library to see Haein.

Just a few short minutes.

All he did was watch her briefly from a distance where he wouldn’t be noticed.

Still, it felt like he could hear her. It felt like he could see her.

The sound of her pen scratching across the notebook.

The way her hair fell over her lowered head.

The shape of her lips as she reread the notes she had written.

Soohyun always wore his hat pulled down low, pretending to choose a book.

Because so many people on campus recognized him, he never approached her, acknowledged her, or made it obvious.

Still, it was good.

It was good just knowing that he was breathing in the same space as her.

It was simply good.

“Director. Let’s go.”

One of his secretaries ran up from behind and called Soohyun.

“Is it time already?”

“The time hasn’t come yet, but the dean came to see you briefly.”

“Alright.”

Turning around to follow his secretary, Soohyun glanced at the business school library one more time.

***

The academic hall donated by Taeseong was equipped with state-of-the-art facilities.

Surrounded by Taeseong Electronics’ new products that filled the interior, the dean repeatedly expressed his gratitude. Ceremonial greetings and formal acknowledgments were exchanged.

Leaving the uninspiring meeting behind, Soohyun entered the lecture hall.

It was usually used for classes, so the interior was similar to any other auditorium.

The lights in the lecture hall had just been turned on, and the podium was being prepared. Soohyun stood in the corner next to the podium and scanned the space.

Several students who had arrived early were gathered, sitting in the arranged seats.

They seemed to recognize Soohyun, whispering among themselves and scribbling something down.

Soohyun chuckled at a sudden old memory.

Because they were in the same business school, Haein and Soohyun occasionally took the same classes. Due to the difference in their year, the overlapping classes were at most one or two per semester.

When their classes overlapped, Soohyun would sit as far away from her as possible.

If there was ever a group presentation, he would ask the teaching assistant in advance to make sure they weren’t in the same group.

He absolutely didn’t want Haein to know of his existence. His wish was for her to remember him only as a famous senior who went to the same university.

‘Yoon Haein?’

‘Yes!’

When Haein’s name was called during attendance check, her clear voice would spread through the lecture hall.

Yes, just that short word, how he had waited for it every class.

That was a romance that only existed in the days before the electronic attendance system.

Soohyun had never been late for a class he took with Haein. He always came early and waited.

Among the things related to Haein, all he could have were those fleeting moments, so he couldn’t afford to miss any more.

Once, he came to the lecture hall and saw an empty seat with Haein’s bag on it.

He quickly got a canned coffee from the vending machine and placed it on her desk.

Soohyun deliberately went out and came back in, and he didn’t know how much he craned his neck to see if she had drunk the canned coffee he had brought, as she sat among the students.

Every time the students sitting in layers between them moved, Haein’s small body was hidden, so he couldn’t help but resent the innocent students throughout the class.

‘I barely managed to stop myself from getting up and shouting at everyone not to move.’

He was laughing to himself while thinking about the old days when students suddenly poured into the lecture hall.

“It’s starting in 10 minutes.”

His secretary approached and told him the time. Soohyun took the lecture notes and went up to the podium.

***

It was a warm day with sunlight pouring into the car.

Haein deliberately stopped the car at the university’s main gate and got out onto the campus.

She had to walk quite a distance to the building where Soohyun was giving his lecture, but it felt like a waste to only enjoy the long-awaited spring sunshine from inside the car.

“Crap! I’m totally late.”

“Ugh. My legs hurt, I can’t run anymore.”

Two male students who seemed to be late for class rushed past Haein, running frantically. Haein chuckled, watching the students disappear in a flash.

Just last year, Haein had also run diligently along this path. Even though it wasn’t that long ago, it felt like a distant memory, as if it had never happened.

Haein slowly started walking, taking the long hill that led to the main building.

As she approached the main building, she saw the academic hall that Taeseong had donated and built. It was the place where Soohyun was giving his lecture today.

As she was about to enter the academic hall, she suddenly glanced at the business school building that came into view.

“Ah, Yoon Haein. I really studied hard.”

Seeing the business school library, which was right next to the business school, brought a new wave of emotions. The past days she had lived so fiercely felt somehow futile.

Even if she went back, she would live the same way, but thinking about her current situation as a surrogate mother, she wondered what the point of studying so hard was.

She remembered her elderly homeroom teacher in her senior year of high school constantly nagging that if she studied hard, her future groom would change.

“I didn’t intend to, but I did study hard and ended up in Taeseong.”

Haein laughed hollowly, thinking that the teacher would faint if she knew.

As she entered the academic hall, she smelled familiar scents. The fresh lotion scent from the students, the smell of books from somewhere, the smell of coffee.

Everything was familiar, but the feeling of not belonging in it felt very strange.

Haein diligently looked at the 안내도 and finally found the lecture hall.

As she entered, the host was standing on the podium, seemingly about to begin. Haein sat at the end of a seat near the entrance.

A moment later, all the lights went out, leaving only the stage lights on. The host called Soohyun’s name.

“Now, please welcome him with a round of applause.”

Soohyun, who went up to the podium, nodded to the host and took the microphone.

Thanks to his tall height and broad shoulders, the host standing right next to him suddenly looked small.

Soohyun was wearing the tie that Haein had picked out for him this morning. Even from afar, the blue color of the tie went well with his pale face.

Haein felt a sense of pride as she looked at Soohyun standing there wearing the tie she had chosen herself.

“Wow, he’s much more handsome in person than on screen.”

“Right? He’s more good-looking than I thought.”

She heard young female students in the front row whispering.

Soohyun, standing under the stage lights and giving his lecture, looked quite different from the way he looked at home.

His sleekly swept-back hair highlighted his handsome forehead, and his high nose bridge and well-defined features were clear even from a distance.

He didn’t smile constantly or boast flashy speaking skills like other lecturers, but he conveyed what he wanted to say in a calm voice, clearly and concisely.

Listening to Soohyun’s voice echoing through the space, Haein closed her eyes slightly.

‘Haein-ah.’

She remembered Soohyun’s deep, rich baritone voice calling her name in the darkness.

His eyes burning with longing for her, and his strong arms embracing her so tightly her waist felt like it would break.

“Haaah...”

Haein half-opened her closed eyes again and tightly clasped her hands on her lap. Beneath her hands, between her legs hidden by her clothes, were many red and blue marks left by that man.

Feeling strangely aroused, Haein squeezed her knees together tightly.

She seemed to be the only one having such lewd thoughts in this public place, but once the fantasy started, it wouldn’t stop.

A perfect man who seemed to have no flaws in public embraced her with a completely disheveled appearance at night. Like a beast burning with lust.

Even though there might not be a single bit of love in it, Haein had already started looking forward to the day she went to the hospital.

“...Therefore, as a vision for the future, I propose this...”

During his lecture, Soohyun looked in the direction where Haein was sitting every time he paused to catch his breath. Each time, Haein had the illusion that their eyes met.

Listening to Soohyun’s voice resonating loudly through the lecture hall, Haein placed the back of her hand on her flushed cheek.

The lights in the audience were off, and since she was sitting in the last row, there was no way Soohyun could see her from that far away, but she lowered her head to hide her burning face.

For some reason, she felt like Soohyun on stage had noticed her like that.

***

“Thank you for your hard work!”

As he was about to quickly leave after finishing his lecture, the dean of the business school, who had reappeared, grabbed Soohyun’s attention.

“...So, the alumni gathering for our business school...”

While listening to the dean’s words, Soohyun’s gaze was directed towards the seat where Haein had been sitting just a moment ago.

It wasn’t a distance where he could discern her expression, but when Haein had entered and sat down, Soohyun knew instantly that she had arrived.

Perhaps it was thanks to the habit of looking for her from afar throughout his university years.

No matter how far away Haein was, Soohyun had always been able to find her accurately.

“My father also graduated from our school...”

Thinking of Haein waiting outside, he wanted to finish the conversation and leave quickly, but the dean’s words didn’t end.

Soohyun’s heart was anxious as he looked at the empty seat.

It felt as if he had returned to his university days, and he felt a sense of impatience that if he didn’t rush out quickly, he wouldn’t even see Haein’s back.