#215: Joy and Sorrow (2)

Before Lady Yao could respond, Tai’er was scolded by his mother. “Tai’er, come here. Don’t bother your grandmother.”

Tai’er had always been obedient to his mother, and after Han Ruohui’s reprimand, he quickly quieted down, lowering his head and returning to her side.

Han Ruohui called him over not only to discipline him but also to spare her mother-in-law the trouble.

Lady Yao had aged significantly over the past five years. She had endured much hardship, worrying about the declining family while caring for her father-in-law, who had suffered a stroke and could no longer walk. The exhaustion had turned many of her temples gray, evoking pity from those who saw her.

Though Tai’er feared his mother, he soon grew restless and moved to sit beside his father. His father had always been lenient with him. In previous years, his father had often left home, claiming he needed solitude at the temple, which had made his mother cry countless times. But in recent years, he had stopped doing so, making Tai’er feel even more at ease.

Snuggling up to his father, Tai’er asked when Uncle Qi would return. His father replied gently, “Soon, very soon.”

This response had become tiresome to Tai’er, and he pouted in dissatisfaction. Then, feeling bored, he glanced toward his silent grandfather and third uncle.

His grandfather had fallen ill a few years ago and now relied on a wheelchair to move around. Hui’er had once told Tai’er that their grandfather had always been a stern elder, but his illness had made him even more serious and withdrawn. Indeed, in Tai’er’s memory, this unsmiling grandfather had hardly ever held him.

As for his third uncle, he was similarly silent, though not stern like their grandfather. Instead, he appeared timid and withdrawn, especially in front of Tai’er’s father. Even when walking outside, he would avoid his father from afar. Tai’er had always found this strange and once asked his father why Third Uncle was so afraid of him. At the time, his father’s expression was unreadable. After a long silence, he finally answered, “Because your third uncle made a mistake, and he… still cannot forgive himself.”

Tai’er was too young to understand why someone would torment themselves. His father no longer seemed angry, and no one continued to blame Third Uncle, so why did he live in such a constrained and fearful manner? He had grown so thin that his bones showed, and his hair was streaked with more white strands than even Grandmother’s.

Unable to make sense of it, Tai’er decided to stop thinking about it altogether. Instead, he eagerly looked toward the main hall’s entrance, finally hearing some movement. Delighted, he ran from his father’s side to the doorway and peeked out. Sure enough, Uncle Qi had returned, accompanied by someone as beautiful as a celestial being—surely, surely this was the legendary Auntie!

Overjoyed, Tai’er immediately rushed to embrace his uncle, all the while stealing glances at the heavenly Auntie, both curious and shy.

Ah, Auntie is so beautiful.

As Tai’er thought this, he watched Auntie accompany Uncle Qi into the main hall to pay respects to their grandfather and grandmother. Tai’er didn’t understand why Grandmother cried then, holding Auntie’s hand and repeatedly saying, “It’s good you’ve returned, it’s good you’ve returned.”

The celestial-like Auntie also cried, addressing Grandmother as “Madam,” before bowing her head and sobbing uncontrollably. Both grandfather and father wore complex expressions—sadness and sorrow, though Tai’er couldn’t fully grasp it.

He saw Uncle Qi comforting Auntie and Grandmother. Then, he heard grandfather say, “Tears are not fitting for a joyous occasion—come, let’s share a family banquet.”

That evening’s family banquet was filled with laughter and warmth.

The children laughed and played, while the adults initially felt awkward but gradually relaxed.

Lady Yao kept serving Shen Xiling dishes, repeatedly examining her as she did so. She remarked how much Xiling had grown, how prettier she had become, but also noted she had grown thinner and urged her to eat more. Unable to refuse such kindness, Shen Xiling ended up eating more than usual—even more than when Qi Yin encouraged her.

The men were quieter, but Shen Xiling could still sense their goodwill. Aside from Qi Ning, who kept his head bowed and avoided eye contact, both Qi Zhang and Qi Yun treated her warmly. The anger they had once shown in court had dissipated, replaced by kindness and understanding.

Shen Xiling knew their attitudes hadn’t changed overnight. Qi Yin must have worked tirelessly behind the scenes to help his family let go of the past and accept her wholeheartedly.

She didn’t know how to express her gratitude.

After the banquet, someone from the Qi household arrived—Li Wei, one of Qi Yin’s students, seeking him to discuss political matters.

Since becoming Grand Tutor, Qi Yin had delegated many administrative tasks, handling only the most critical ones personally. Li Wei had come to discuss post-flood relief efforts, a matter Qi Yin took seriously and wouldn’t ignore.

Before heading to the study, Shen Xiling felt a twinge of unhappiness—not because he was leaving her side but because she worried about his health and didn’t want him overworking. Qi Yin, of course, understood her concerns and reassured her before leaving, promising to finish quickly and not tire himself. Reluctantly, she let him go.

Watching their affectionate exchange, Lady Yao felt both joy and nostalgia. She then invited Shen Xiling back to Jiaxi Hall to drink tea and chat.

Jiaxi Hall was familiar to Shen Xiling. She remembered her first visit to meet Lady Yao here, where she pretended to be Fang Yun and recited a Sichuan nursery rhyme on the spot to maintain her disguise. Thinking back now, she felt embarrassed.

Seeing her nostalgic expression, Lady Yao naturally understood she was reminiscing about the past. Sitting together on the kang bed, the fragrant tea inspired Lady Yao to speak. Smiling, she said, “Time flies—it’s already been ten years since I first met you. Back then, you were just a half-grown child, sitting there quietly, impossibly beautiful.”

Shen Xiling lowered her head, blushing shyly, and poured more tea for Lady Yao.

Lady Yao gazed at her, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear, her demeanor serene. “Even then, I noticed Jingchen treated you differently. You two were fated to be together, despite the trials. In the end, you found each other again—that’s fate. Good, truly good.”

She repeated the word “good” tenderly, her voice soft and gentle. Though she was no longer young—the past decade had been cruel, turning her temples gray—she remained beautiful, radiating an ethereal grace and maternal kindness.

Shen Xiling looked at Lady Yao, recalling the countless ways she had cared for her: defending her in Madam Qi’s Rongrui Hall, sending her to Fenghe Garden and arranging for her to stay in Woyu Courtyard, personally hosting her coming-of-age ceremony, comforting her during her sorrows…

She was like a mother, warm and nurturing.

Shen Xiling was overwhelmed with gratitude but also felt even more remorse for the injustices of the past. She said to Lady Yao, “Madam, everything back then was my fault. I implicated Master Qi and…”

Before she could finish, Lady Yao shook her head, interrupting her.

Her eyes reddened, and she seemed more emotional than Shen Xiling. “Good child, don’t mention those old grievances. It wasn’t your fault—it was fate, unavoidable.”

She took Shen Xiling’s hand, her voice trembling. “You owe no one. Jingchen has already explained everything—he said it was you who saved his life at Xiaoshan. I never prayed for him to be wealthy or powerful; I only wanted him to be safe. Wenwen, by saving him, you saved me, you saved our entire family.”

Her tears finally fell, prompting Shen Xiling to cry as well. She consoled Lady Yao while insisting her actions at Xiaoshan were mere coincidence, insignificant and unable to repay the Qi family’s boundless kindness toward her.

Lady Yao continued to shake her head, crying for a moment before breaking into a smile. She wiped her own tears and then Shen Xiling’s.

Like a loving mother, she gazed at Shen Xiling and said, “Enough, let’s not cry anymore. Neither of us should cry.”

Her voice was so gentle.

“You and Jingchen have endured much hardship. From now on, everything will be fine. Leave all unhappy memories behind and forget them completely.”

Shen Xiling nodded repeatedly, holding back her tears. Lady Yao praised her as a “good child” and, after a moment, seemed to recall something joyful. Smiling brightly, she said to Shen Xiling, “Your wedding must be planned carefully. We can’t rush it. It would be best to consult the abbot at Dingshan Temple and pray to the Buddha for blessings. With divine protection, everything will be auspicious.”

At the mention of marriage, Shen Xiling blushed deeply.

This time was different from five years ago. She truly felt the excitement and nervousness of a bride-to-be. Merely hearing about the wedding made her heart race.

“The wedding will be arranged by the elders,” she tried to contain her joy, responding as gracefully as possible. “As for visiting the temple, Master Qi has never believed in these things, so I’ll go alone…”

Lady Yao, upon hearing this, stroked her hair, praising her for being considerate. She chuckled and added, “Jingchen used to be skeptical, but he’s changed a great deal over the years. Lately, he often visits Qixia Temple to pray, even more devoutly than I am.”

Shen Xiling was startled, finding this revelation unexpected.

The more she thought about it, the more astonished she became. That night, while strolling with Qi Yin in the garden behind the main house, she couldn’t resist asking him about it.

Walking beside him, she asked, “Master, do you really believe in Buddhism now? Do you often visit Qixia Temple?”

She found it hard to believe. In her eyes, belief in such matters was somewhat predestined. Moreover, Qi Yin had always trusted himself more than fate. How could he have suddenly changed in just a few years?

She asked urgently, but Qi Yin seemed reluctant to discuss it. Despite her repeated inquiries, he avoided answering, eventually distracting her by plucking a hibiscus flower from the garden for her to admire.

This only fueled Shen Xiling’s curiosity further. She tugged at his sleeve, swaying it back and forth, coquettishly insisting, “No, I must know today. I won’t be able to sleep otherwise—does Second Brother really want me to lose sleep all night?”

Her sweet, persistent charm knew exactly how to soften his resolve. Qi Yin, aware of her intentions, ultimately couldn’t bear to deny her. After a long silence, he relented and told her the reason.

Under the silvery moonlight, the garden was filled with fragrant blossoms. This familiar yet strange place, where they had once discussed poetry together, seemed entwined with countless memories of the past.

He said, “After we parted, I began praying to Guanyin regularly.”

The moonlight was gentle.

The night breeze was tender.

She didn’t fully understand his words, but somehow, deep down, she did.

He was such a resilient and self-reliant man, capable of mastering everything in his hands, which was why he had never believed in gods or Buddhas before. But these past five years had been too lonely, too painful. Everything he once possessed had slipped away, and almost everyone had turned against him. He must have felt helpless and lost.

What did he pray for when he worshipped Guanyin? Only for her safety—she was no longer by his side but separated by the vast river, forever divided between north and south. Knowing he could no longer protect her, he inevitably felt powerless and lost, ultimately turning to the divine for solace.

He wished for nothing else—only that the person far away… would remain safe.

Shen Xiling understood, feeling both immense sweetness and profound sorrow. She suddenly threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly, as if she would never let go again.

“I’m safe,” she cried. “We’ll be fine from now on, forever fine.”

The scent of sandalwood enveloped her, bringing endless comfort and peace. She heard him softly sigh in her ear, saying, “Mm, forever fine.”

As gentle as the night itself.