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It was an act beyond human limits. Licking Da-eun’s genitals with my tongue all night, her bright red labia ceaselessly poured out liquid. I sucked up that lewd love juice while stroking my cock. Even after sucking her pussy until sunrise, my excitement wouldn’t subside.
With something beautiful throbbing in front of me, only being able to lick and not insert made me feel mentally exhausted. Knowing how tight her insides were already made me feel like I was going crazy.
I ejaculated countless times until morning. Continuously cumming made the sticky semen become clear like water, and now I could feel the urge to ejaculate, but hardly any semen came out. It felt like squeezing a dry rag.
Even so, my cock wouldn’t go down. I felt like if I could just release my seed inside Da-eun, this maddening excitement would subside, but the more I licked her vulva, the more counterproductive it became.
Was I going to die from exceeding the limit of excitement without even properly trying to penetrate?
I felt like I was going crazy with frustration. My throat was so parched as if I was going to get dehydrated that I kept a two-liter bottle of water next to me and gulped it down. As morning came, I was wondering if I should go to a less crowded pharmacy instead of a busy convenience store to buy condoms, when Da-eun started making lewd noises again.
“Hng, uhn, ahn.”
“Haa, this is driving me crazy...”
Joo-won pressed his lips to Da-eun’s bottom and vigorously stroked his cock. He gripped and rubbed it so hard that his shaft became red and chafed.
“Haaht!”
Da-eun’s body trembled as if in a fit, and her vulva parted and closed. Joo-won showered her vagina with fervent kisses again.
Chup, tsk. It had been like this all night. It was irresistibly addictive.
Joo-won checked the time and got up. He felt like he couldn’t go on like this, so he looked in the mirror to quickly go out and buy condoms, but his appearance was a mess.
Sucking Da-eun’s vagina all night had left his lips swollen and red, and his whole body reeked of love juice and semen.
Reluctantly, he took off his clothes and headed to the bathroom. He planned to shower quickly, buy a whole box of condoms, and properly do it until his excitement subsided.
Even while showering, his cock wouldn’t go down. The scent of Hwang Da-eun’s shampoo only made it throb more.
Feeling rushed, even showering felt like an eternity. He roughly dried himself with a towel and went out, only to see Da-eun already dressed and about to leave the house with her bag, their eyes meeting.
“Where are you going?”
“Huh? Oh... Yoon Joo-won. You showered?”
Seeing Da-eun, who had been so intimate with him all night, suddenly acting awkward made him feel uneasy. Calling him by his full name with his surname was definitely a red flag.
“Aren’t you going out without showering?”
“I’m late for class.”
“So you’re going to class like that, without even showering?”
Da-eun scratched her head and bit her lip. Right. Thinking of buying condoms and doing it with her from morning might have been Joo-won’s selfish thought.
He should finish today’s schedule first, and then create the right atmosphere to do it properly this time.
He had momentarily forgotten his duty, driven by his desires.
He should confess his feelings to Da-eun, officially ask her out, and then have sex. It wasn’t too late for Joo-won to carefully take the steps again and make this clumsy first love beautiful.
“You know I never skip class.”
“There’s still time. Isn’t your ‘Postmodernism and Architectural Aesthetics’ class at 10?”
Perhaps surprised that he knew her class schedule so well, she stammered, startled.
“Huh? No, well, I sit in the front row, so I need to go early to save a seat...”
“You’re going to skip showering to get a front-row seat?”
“Uhn?”
“You probably have some of my semen on your pussy.”
“Uh-oh?”
Da-eun’s face contorted every time an obscene word spilled from Joo-won’s mouth.
“I didn’t put it in, but I came a bit between your legs all night. A little on your lower stomach and breasts too. I wiped it off with a warm towel, but it must feel uncomfortable going to school like that.”
“Ah...”
The atmosphere grew increasingly awkward.
Even though Joo-won had no dating experience, he could roughly guess what was happening.
But Joo-won tried not to jump to conclusions and asked in a monotone voice. The unfamiliar feeling was unpleasant. He felt ashamed of becoming a clingy man.
“Let’s have lunch together later.”
“Ah, no. I promised Su-jin I’d eat at the student cafeteria with her.”
“Then let’s watch a movie after class.”
“No. I have a report due tomorrow...”
Forcibly ignoring his increasingly bruised pride, Joo-won stubbornly asked,
“Then let’s have dinner together. You still need to eat dinner even if you have a report due.”
“My stomach hasn’t been good lately, so I can’t eat out.”
“I’ll make you something.”
“I was planning to fast...”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“I’m going home for the weekend.”
A brief silence hung in the air. Joo-won drove the final nail into the coffin with his last question to Da-eun’s retreating back.
“Right now, you’re...”
“......”
“...in a hit-and-run situation, aren’t you?”
To Joo-won’s questions, Da-eun had been steadily countering without a second’s delay, but at his last question, she firmly closed her mouth.
Suddenly, anger surged like a wildfire. He thought they had connected both physically and emotionally, so he couldn’t understand why she had suddenly changed.
“Didn’t you like me?”
When Joo-won asked, Da-eun, who had been awkward the whole time, turned serious and retorted,
“I clearly told you yesterday! I don’t like you!”
It felt like being struck hard on the head. He had thought her saying she didn’t like him was just her waiting for his confession, having been hurt by rumors. Otherwise, there was no way she would have brought him home saying she wanted to try it before he went to the army.
“You. Were you playing with me?”
“What are you saying? Playing with you? You liked it too.”
“Yeah, I liked it. I liked it like crazy. That’s why I’m dumbfounded.”
“What? Yeah, I made a mistake because I was drunk, but weren’t you just going to go to a club for a one-night stand anyway? Why are you getting mad at me?”
“I never thought of that.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I heard everything in the common room.”
He was taken aback. He had just been sitting next to his classmates; he hadn’t even thought of going to a club, but she seemed to have misunderstood his intentions just because he was in the same place.
“Hey. I have to go to class, so lock up and leave. Oh, Min Ha-jung lives on the third floor, so be careful not to run into her when you leave.”
Da-eun fled the house as if running away before even hearing Joo-won’s explanation. Abandoned in Da-eun’s house, Joo-won stared blankly at the closed front door.
He had never imagined losing his virginity so futilely.
His solitary delusion of becoming Da-eun’s lover crumbled like a sandcastle in less than twelve hours.
***
I was crazy. Insane. This is all Freud’s fault, no, Lee Su-jin’s fault!
Da-eun covered her face with her hair as if shielding it with a curtain, afraid someone might recognize her, and wandered around the humanities building like a ghost.
She took out her toiletries from her locker and roughly washed her face and brushed her teeth, but the lewd scent of bodily fluids that wafted from her body wouldn’t go away.
She took out a sample perfume from her pouch and sprayed it several times as if spraying mosquito repellent, resulting in a strong, almost overpowering scent, like she had bathed in perfume. Thankfully, it seemed to have masked the fishy body odor.
Da-eun woke up to the sound of Joo-won showering and bit back a scream, clutching her head.
She had done something crazy while drunk. If Lee Su-jin knew about this, she would probably go on about repressed desires and how her unconscious had driven her, linking this situation to her sexual frustration.
With Kim Se-joon back in school, what if that terrible rumor of her being a ‘guy killer’ started spreading again?
Crazy bitch! Crazy bitch! It’s all because of the alcohol!
She had stubbornly endured the pain of her gastritis and drunk soju, causing her mind to go blank and do things she wouldn’t normally do...
Huh? But come to think of it, her stomach didn’t hurt. Her body, which usually felt heavy as lead in the morning and wouldn’t move an inch without coffee, felt light as if she had returned to her childhood.
She was probably so surprised and flustered that she had temporarily forgotten the pain. Even while thinking that, she felt a little strange about her lightened body.
Maybe her weak body had miraculously recovered, she thought.
“Ah!”
Da-eun clutched between her legs and swallowed a scream. The humanities students passing by glanced at her.
Da-eun straightened her body and headed to the lecture hall as naturally as possible. But with every step she took, a tremendous pain shot through her core.
Joo-won’s cock flickered before her eyes. With that enormous size thrusting inside her, there was no way her lower region would be unscathed.
Even sitting in the lecture hall, the image of her rolling around in bed with him flashed in her mind like shattered fragments, then disappeared.
Thinking about him diligently sucking her below all night...
Drip, drip. Her panties were wet.
Haa, this is driving me crazy.
Da-eun writhed in agony, covering her face with her long, straight hair. It was truly a day she wanted to hide in a mouse hole.
***
The pain of her pierced vagina lessened day by day, and the gastritis and headaches that had plagued Da-eun miraculously didn’t appear for a week after that day.
As the minor pains in her body disappeared, a vibrant life began, as if she had never been sick.
She felt like she could fly. Now, she woke up bright-eyed in the morning without needing coffee, and she even started to quit caffeine altogether.
Most days, she couldn’t focus on her books even if she sat in the library all day because of her stomach pain, but with her lightened body, her study efficiency increased tremendously even after just two hours of sitting.
Her stiff shoulders had become soft as if she had received a massage, and her dull face glowed with a healthy radiance.
“Da-eun-ah. Shall we go clubbing for the first time in a while? This unnie has found another hot spot.”
Su-jin, who had appeared at the coffee shop, dropped her major textbook on the table like luggage.
“No way. Last time you said it was a hot spot and an it place, it turned out to be full of guys who looked like fat, molting pigeons. Waste of money. I’d rather use that money to eat chicken.”
“This time it’s for real. I finished checking the quality of the guys through the photos Yeona and the others posted on SNS.”
“I need to study for the midterm exams. You go.”
“Just take a look at the faces before you say anything. Lots of celebrities come here. I’m serious.”
“I’m not interested.”
“Shouldn’t you try to meet a real guy this time?”
Su-jin always said things like this, but she wasn’t much different from Da-eun. Until she went to the club, she would show a strong determination to sleep with every guy in the world, but once she was actually at the club, she would just dance and take the first bus home.
Of course, Su-jin dated occasionally, but she was only curious about one-night stands; actually having the courage to do it was another matter.
But Da-eun had done it.
And with a classmate from her major.
She was crazy.
Thinking about it again, she was crazy.
“Hey. I’ve told you countless times. Your gastritis and those headaches are from sexual frustration. Huh? You need to go on dates and do nice things... Wait a minute.”
Lee Su-jin, who had been rambling on about the panacea of sex, suddenly stopped talking abruptly.
“Come to think of it, you haven’t been saying you’re sick lately?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re not sick?”
“Yeah.”
“Did you do it?”
That quick-witted bitch.
“Do what.”
“Now that I think about it, your complexion is good, and you haven’t been getting annoyed lately. Don’t tell me...!”
“Shut up and order.”
“I ordered and came up. Ah, something’s fishy.”
Lee Su-jin, who had been reciting exaggerated lines in a theatrical tone, scratched her head and twitched her lips.
“Not like you’re a con artist. Lee Su-jin, you’re the one who’s sexually frustrated! You can’t go a day without talking about sex, can you? Your head is full of weird stuff. Seriously, listening to you makes my ears rot. The only friend I have talks about sex all day, so unintentionally, my whole day goes by just hearing about sex.”
“Yeah, Hwang Da. I think talking about sex is the most fun thing in the world.”
“If Lee Su-jin just talked about sex a little less, guys would be lining up for her.”
“I can’t help it. I like talking about sex, that’s who I am, and I can’t hide myself just to meet a guy. Love myself, don’t you know?”
“You’re something else, really. Who would have thought the top student of Jooyeon High would grow up to be a sex-obsessed parrot? Studying must have messed up your brain. They say there are a lot of perverts among geniuses anyway. Doesn’t Freud have something to say about this phenomenon?”
“I don’t know. What do you expect me to know? I got a C+.”
“So you admit you’re a quack?”
“Even if I insisted, have you ever listened to me even with the corner of your ear?”
Da-eun couldn’t bring herself to laugh at Lee Su-jin’s words. Before she knew it, she had committed a brazen act as if she had been brainwashed by her friend’s words.
There was nothing she couldn’t talk about with Su-jin, her best friend, but this incident was an exception.
She couldn’t bring herself to tell her, even her best friend, that she had a one-night stand with a classmate while drunk.
The industry was already small, and if rumors spread that she had a one-night stand with someone from the same school and major, the gossip would probably follow her like a tag for the rest of her life.
“Oh, right. Did all the guys go to the hair salon together?”
“Huh?”
Da-eun thought of Joo-won at Su-jin’s unexpected words. Da-eun had been avoiding Joo-won ever since that day.
If Joo-won was waiting at the back door of the lecture hall, she would run out the front door, and if he was waiting in front of the elevator, she would rush to the emergency stairs.
Fortunately, unlike Da-eun, who was focusing on her advanced aesthetics major, Joo-won, who was putting effort into his double major, spent most of his time in the business administration department since becoming a junior. The only class they had together was Professor Park Eun-joo’s, so if she was careful during her free time, she wouldn’t run into him often.
She had been avoiding his calls, feeling awkward about talking to Joo-won, who wanted to have a conversation, and her phone finally went silent after four days.
Her feelings were complicated in many ways. She had vaguely thought Joo-won was handsome, but she had never intended to have a one-night stand with him.
She had done something uncharacteristic of her, as if she had gone crazy from the alcohol, and she was clueless about how to handle the situation.
But she tried not to feel guilty. After all, she had heard that the guys planned to have one-night stands before enlisting in the army, and it wasn’t like either of them had lost out.
Seeing that he had even gotten a haircut, Joo-won would probably be enlisting in the army in the next few days, and by the time he was discharged, Da-eun would have safely graduated and wouldn’t have to run into him.
Of course, if she went on to graduate school, they might run into each other by chance, but there was no guarantee she would go to Korea University’s graduate school, so that was a distant future matter.
“They said all the guys are getting their heads shaved together. It’ll be quite a sight. Let’s go watch them later.”
“Watch what... We’re not even close.”
Da-eun suddenly thought of Joo-won’s hair. The way he would sweep his silky locks back with his hand reminded her of a character from a romance manga.
The thought of that hair being shaved off made her feel inexplicably down. That guy probably has a pretty head shape too. It was amazing that there was a guy with a handsome teeth arrangement, gum line, sexy Adam’s apple, and even pink wrinkles on his testicles. Yoon Joo-won was fascinating, being handsome not only in the obvious places but also in the hidden ones.
For Da-eun, whose only experience with a man’s cock was the pinky-finger-sized one she had seen in a famous painting, the real-life encounter with the so-called pink ‘horse cock’ was still shocking enough to linger before her eyes.
How much cooler would he look with his head shaved round like a chestnut? No, maybe cuter? Da-eun was curious about Joo-won’s shaved head. This wasn’t that she wanted to see Yoon Joo-won, but rather a pure aesthetic curiosity to see the new hairstyle of an exceptionally handsome man... or so she tried to argue, but the truth was she wanted to see Yoon Joo-won one last time before he went to the army, when they would likely never meet again. No matter how she denied any romantic feelings, the protagonist of her first sexual experience would forever remain in Da-eun’s memory.
Should she just take one last look at his face from afar before he went to the army?
No. What was she thinking? She had been busy running away from Joo-won waiting in front of the lecture hall; what if she got caught secretly peeking at him? She just wanted time to pass quietly like this.
Her mood had been gloomy ever since she left the coffee shop. Whether it was the overcast weather or the talk about classmates getting their heads shaved together before enlisting, the world felt entirely gray.
With a hazy mind, she trudged into the humanities building. Midterm exams were just around the corner. Just this morning, her body had felt light as if she could fly, but by the afternoon, she just wanted to skip class and crawl into her room to sleep soundly. However, skipping lectures while preparing for graduate school entrance exams was impossible.
She went to her locker, took out her ‘Modernity and Cultural Politics’ book for Professor Park Eun-joo’s class, and headed to the lecture hall.
The thought of having to meet Yoon Joo-won in the same lecture hall for the first time in a week made her chest feel tight. Still, she took solace in the fact that she could see his chestnut-like shaved head one last time. After this, she wouldn’t have to encounter Yoon Joo-won anymore.
Her locker was near the department office, so she had no choice but to pass by it on her way to the lecture hall.
Holding her textbook, she tried to slip past the department office like a ghost, but through the half-open door, she could hear the boisterous voices of classmates who had gotten their haircuts at the salon.
“Hey, you look so ugly.”
“Do all soldiers look the same?”
“They’re all equally ugly.”
“This guy must have stepped on a landmine with his face even before enlisting.”
Seniors and juniors alike were gathered, joking and laughing with the male classmates who had gotten their haircuts. Da-eun, unable to join in, felt like she was in a different world.
Without realizing it, Da-eun paused and secretly peeked inside the department office. She saw Jang Hyun-soo, Choi Young-min, and Kim Tae-jin with their short haircuts. She had thought they would look round and cute with their hair cut short, but even their head shapes were crooked and uneven. With their misshapen heads fully exposed, the features of these already unattractive guys receded and humbled themselves, creating quite a collective disaster.
How had Yoon Joo-won changed? Would he still look handsome even with a shaved head? No, maybe not. If his head shape was like those guys’, like a boulder from Gwanaksan Mountain, even the tall and handsome Yoon Joo-won might look like a shrimp.
Da-eun cautiously craned her neck to see Yoon Joo-won with his shaved head when Yoon Joo-won, who had been standing behind the door, suddenly stepped out of the department office.
“Gasp!”
Da-eun literally gasped in front of Yoon Joo-won, whom she had just encountered. Her shock at facing Yoon Joo-won was momentary. Seeing that his silky hair was still there, Da-eun narrowed her brows.
“Oh, hi.”
“Look who it is here. You were so good at running away when I tried to find you.”
“Was I...?”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know. Let’s talk for a moment.”
“I, I’m sorry. I have to go to class now.”
“There are still ten minutes left.”
“No, wh-what is there to talk about?”
“I’m still upset about getting laid and ditched.”
“......!”
Shocked by Joo-won’s unfiltered words, she covered his mouth. She looked around to see if anyone had heard, but thankfully, people seemed to be focused on the guys who had gotten their haircuts and hadn’t heard Joo-won’s harsh words.
Da-eun raised her hand as high as she could to cover Joo-won’s mouth, but because Joo-won was so tall, she felt like a monkey clinging to a tree.
“You, follow me!”
Giving up on covering Joo-won’s mouth, Da-eun looked around to make sure no one was listening and strode ahead. But no matter how quickly a crow-tit walks, it will eventually be caught by a stork’s single stride.
After checking that the lecture hall was empty, Da-eun opened the door and pushed Yoon Joo-won inside. Even though it looked like Joo-won had entered willingly after being pushed, she expressed her displeasure with her whole body.
“Hey, Yoon Joo-won! What are you saying? What if someone hears you?”
Joo-won, who had approached Da-eun, who was panting, stopped abruptly. At an excessively close distance, all she could see was Joo-won’s chest.
Stepping back felt like losing a battle of wills, but staying put was too close, and no matter how far back she tilted her head, she couldn’t meet his eyes.
But despite her worries, he bent down sharply at the waist and brought his face close to hers. At a distance where their philtrums almost touched, his breath tickling her skin, he tilted his head and opened his mouth.
“Why? Did we do something that others shouldn’t hear about?”
“No, well...”
His handsome face arguing with her up close made her heart pound involuntarily. No, was it pounding because she felt bad? She didn’t know! Anyway, her heart was beating like it would burst.
“Well, if people hear that Hwang Da-eun laid a male classmate and ran away, everyone will point fingers at her. Right?”
Da-eun swallowed hard at Joo-won’s words. If rumors spread that she had laid a male classmate and run away, it would be incomparably worse than when she confessed to Kim Se-joon and got rejected.
Last time, the rumors had made her shrink, but if this incident became public, she would become trash.
“No, laid and ran... Your words are too...”
“It’s true, though. You’ve been avoiding me all over campus and not answering my calls. If that’s not laying and running, what is it?”
“I...”
“So you really were a ‘guy killer’?”
“......!”
The word ‘guy killer’ triggered a trauma, and Da-eun firmly closed her mouth.
A one-night stand was this terrifying. She had only spent one night with Joo-won while drunk after hearing the guys talking about trying to pick up girls at a club, but she had never dreamed he would react like this.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?”
Da-eun felt like she shouldn’t provoke Joo-won any further. Since they couldn’t communicate, she decided to shut up and apologize to cut off any further conversation.
She didn’t need a battle of wills or anything anymore. She just wanted to quickly escape this awkward situation and took a step back.
Feeling a sense of stability at the belatedly found appropriate distance, she looked at Joo-won, who straightened his bent waist and looked at her with a cold face.
“Are we done? If you’re done talking, I’ll go.”
Feeling inexplicably embarrassed, Da-eun offered a greeting to Joo-won, whom she wouldn’t see again in a few days anyway.
“Are you kidding me?”
He asked in a surly voice, as if dumbfounded by Da-eun trying to run away again. Da-eun deliberately blinked innocently, like a dimwit who hadn’t caught his surliness.
“But you still haven’t cut your hair? Have a good time in the army. Bye.”
Behind Da-eun, who was about to turn away.
“I’m not going to the army.”
“......!”
A sound like the earth shattering struck her.
She had thought that if she just avoided Joo-won for a few days, making excuses and running away, he would go to the army, and with time, the memory would fade.
She had thought he was planning to have a one-night stand before going to the army, which was why she had done something so reckless while drunk. Where on earth had things gone wrong?!
“You’re not going to the army? You said you were enlisting together with the others!”
Joo-won took another step closer to Da-eun, who was questioning him accusingly. Joo-won approached as if he couldn’t let go of Da-eun, who was involuntarily backing away. Soon, her back hit the wall, leaving her with nowhere to retreat, and Joo-won pinned her against the wall, trapping her with his arms.
“Not me. I thought you were asking about the other guys.”
Her breath caught in her throat. She had nowhere to escape, blocked by Joo-won’s body. No, it was no use running away now. Did this mean she would have to go to school with him until graduation if he didn’t go to the army?
“You haven’t gone to the army yet, have you? Why were you quiet when the guys said they should go clubbing before enlisting!”
“Well, I didn’t see the need to cluelessly blurt out that I’m an American citizen in front of guys who are depressed about enlisting.”
“What...?”
Could he possibly be the son of a general or the son of god or something like that, like she had only heard about? She had occasionally seen well-off upperclassmen who were perfectly healthy get assigned to public service or avoid the military due to citizenship issues. She had never imagined Yoon Joo-won would be one of them.
She should have guessed from the designer clothes he was always wearing. But if Hwang Da-eun had possessed that much deductive reasoning in the first place, the rumor of her being a ‘guy killer’ wouldn’t have started.
“Wh-why are you telling me this now?”
“When did you ever ask me? All the other guys know I’m an American citizen.”
Joo-won brought his face dangerously close and swept Da-eun’s long, straight hair back.
“Da-eun-ah. You really weren’t interested in me at all, were you.”
“Ah, no, I...”
Ever since her embarrassing incident in her freshman year, she hadn’t socialized with the other students in her major, so she had never properly heard about Joo-won’s citizenship or military service. She had left the group chat that all the other students were in a while ago, so she had no idea what her classmates were talking about.
It was all Da-eun’s mistake for listening to only part of the conversation and jumping to conclusions.
“We did such intimate things, so you should be a little more interested in me from now on.”
The moment his trembling exhale touched Da-eun’s philtrum, a thrilling sensation spread down her spine. Da-eun frantically moved her eyes, looking for a way out, but Joo-won didn’t give her any space, as if he couldn’t let her go.
“I, I thought you were going to the army...”
“So you thought, ‘He’s going to the army anyway, so I can just sleep with him and not take any responsibility. I’ll just run away until he goes to boot camp’?”
Struck to the core, Da-eun couldn’t answer and just moved her lips.
“You, you...! Why are you talking like that? You sound like a lunatic!”
“Do you even know how I usually talk?”
She had a mouth but nothing to say. Even though they had gone to the same school for four years, they only exchanged greetings when they ran into each other and weren’t close enough to have private conversations.
In fact, there were many times when they would pass each other without even saying hello. She had only admired Yoon Joo-won’s handsome looks and the only things she knew about him were that he was in the soccer club and was double-majoring in business administration.
Her only close friend at school was Lee Su-jin, and that sex-obsessed parrot was always too busy talking about her own sex life to care about what the other students were doing.
“What a pity, Hwang Da-eun. I’m not going to the army.”
He chuckled softly, pressing his lower body against Da-eun’s frozen stomach.
“Can you feel this? My cock has been throbbing all day because of you. Every time I think of you, it gets hard and won’t go down, it’s driving me crazy. Now it feels like it’s going to break from the pain.”
So she had nothing to say even if Joo-won’s way of speaking was vulgar. She had probably had a vague prejudice that his speech would be polite, based only on his good looks and the story that he had never dated before. Who would have thought that such beautiful lips would casually spew such lewd talk?
A heavy sensation pressed against her stomach, and Da-eun’s pupils shook violently. The moment she felt that hard touch again, it felt like her legs were getting wet.
“Hey! Were you the only one in pain? I was in pain too, you know?”
Feeling inexplicably embarrassed, Da-eun shouted.
“Da-eun-ah, if you shout like that, I feel like I’m going to cum.”
But he didn’t care and slowly rubbed his lower body against her stomach. That strange sensation made the strength leave her toes. Da-eun barely suppressed a gasp that felt like it would burst from between her teeth and asked,
“D-don’t rub...”
“Damn it. I feel alive now...”
“But you... does it still hurt down there?”
Joo-won, who had suddenly stopped moving, slightly lifted his hips. He put his hand on his zipper and stared at her with a surly look.
“Want me to show you? Why it hurts.”
The moment Da-eun swallowed hard.
“Hey, did you write the report?”
“I don’t know. I can’t focus on it until right before the deadline.”
The back door of the lecture hall opened, and two freshmen who looked like they were from the philosophy department entered.
Startled, Da-eun pushed Joo-won away and fled the lecture hall as if running away.
Even while hurrying down the emergency stairs, the strange sensation of Yoon Joo-won rubbing his lower body against her stomach came to mind, making her lower abdomen throb.
Da-eun skipped class for the first time in her life.
She couldn’t remember how she had spent the day.
The sensation of Joo-won rubbing his heavy member against Da-eun’s stomach vividly lingered, preventing her from thinking about anything else. With midterm exams just a week away, she couldn’t focus on studying, so Da-eun went straight home.
She finally came to her senses late at night. Tossing and turning in bed, recalling the strange sensation, Da-eun slowly began to feel uneasy.
Her confession to Kim Se-joon at twenty. Back then, before Da-eun confessed, she had never imagined that bastard Kim Se-joon would have such a loose mouth.
She hadn’t known Kim Se-joon’s true colors even after eating lunch together and seeing movies throughout the semester, so she had no idea what true colors Yoon Joo-won, whom she had never even had a meal alone with despite being a classmate, would reveal.
Moreover, seeing him spew lewd talk with that beautiful face that was the golden ratio, Da-eun’s preconceived notions about Yoon Joo-won seemed completely different from his reality.
After running away from Yoon Joo-won like that, she was now worried about rumors spreading. What if he angrily told the other guys what had happened that day? Then she would really have to take a leave of absence, regardless of graduation or not. No, even if she graduated, the sticky rumors would follow her like a tag throughout her career.
One anxious thought led to another, and before she knew it, Da-eun was sitting on her bed, typing a text message to Joo-won.
[Are you asleep?]
She regretted sending the clingy text that resembled an ex-boyfriend’s message, but Da-eun put her random thoughts aside at Joo-won’s reply.
[Yoon Joo-won: How could I sleep?]
The rather aggressive reply was, as expected, unsettling. She needed to soothe him gently to shut him up, but Yoon Joo-won’s text message coming on strong from the start sent a chill down her spine.
[Did you happen to tell the others about us?]
[Yoon Joo-won: What about?]
[About that day]
[Yoon Joo-won: About us fucking even though you don’t like me? Or about you laying me and dumping me?]
Da-eun let out a long sigh at the sharp-edged reply that was impossible to rank. It seemed she had gotten involved with a crazy guy.
“Haa...”
[Yoon Joo-won: What are you asking? You need to explain properly for me to understand.]
Unable to think of what to say, she didn’t reply, and this time Joo-won called her.
“Hello?”
-So you answer the phone now?
As she pressed the call button, a shiver ran down her cheek at the pleasant low voice, so different from his annoying texts.
Even hearing it again, his voice was overwhelming for his age.
“You, you didn’t tell anyone...?”
Da-eun asked cautiously, and he let out a dry laugh.
-Seriously now. Do you see me as such a lowlife that I’d go around spreading rumors about what happened between us? What kind of guy do you think I am, Hwang Da-eun? Why on earth did you sleep with such a lacking guy?
She was speechless, even if she had ten mouths. Joo-won poured out everything he had been holding in. It felt like she was having the most conversation with him today, after knowing him for over three years.
“No, I just... I just thought you were trying to have a one-night stand too...”
-You too, a one-night stand? Did you just say ‘too’?
Yoon Joo-won’s voice, emphasizing the ‘too’, sounded ominous.
“Uhn...?”
-Haa... I told you from the beginning, I had no intention of going to a club. If I had planned on doing something like that, would I have remained inexperienced until now? If you had been even a little interested in me, you would have listened to what I said.
Joo-won’s self-deprecating words made her feel sorry, but she couldn’t let her guard down. There was no guarantee he wouldn’t suddenly change his mind and spread rumors like Kim Se-joon.
Da-eun offered Joo-won a consolation that wasn’t really one.
“Still, it was your first time too, and my first time too, so you don’t have to feel so wronged.”
-Damn it. You call that comforting?
“Okay... I’m sorry. I have nothing to say. But Joo-won-ah...”
-Yeah.
“You won’t tell the others, will you?”
At her pointed question, Joo-won let out a long sigh, as if he was pissed.
-Haa...
“You got it?”
Joo-won chewed on the silence for a moment, then said in a cold tone.
-I won’t tell anyone, so come out for a bit. Let’s talk face to face.
Da-eun’s mind raced at Joo-won’s ploy. Asking her to come out at midnight. A bad feeling crept up her spine that if she was dragged around on the condition that he wouldn’t spread rumors, she might end up in a vulnerable position.
“It’s midnight. No thanks. Anyway, I’ll take it that you won’t spread rumors. Good night.”
Da-eun hung up the phone and bit her dry lips. The memory of being severely burned by rumors made her uneasy, but it wasn’t like she was completely innocent either.
Joo-won collapsed onto his bed, placing a hand over his forehead and letting out a long sigh.
Frustration welled up inside him. He couldn’t understand why the ghost of a first love that hadn’t even begun was still tormenting him.
He had liked Hwang Da-eun once, but that was a long time ago. A drink had revived traces of the past, shaking him up.
His clumsy momentary delusion that their hearts had connected and spending the night with a drunk Da-eun was the starting point of the problem.
Hwang Da-eun, whom he thought he had completely forgotten since Kim Se-joon’s discharge, kept appearing in his mind.
Since that passionate night with her while intoxicated, his feelings had swelled uncontrollably. He kept telling himself that youth mistook lust for love, but he couldn’t do anything about his aching heart.
That passionate night meant nothing?
Having his cock sucked all night and acting like nothing happened?
Could she still not forget Kim Se-joon? Was he stupidly used in a jealousy ploy?
Damn it. Hwang Da-eun’s ridiculous consolation that they were both first-timers so he shouldn’t feel wronged annoyed him, yet the fact that she was also a first-timer lingered in his ears.
At least it sounded like that bastard Kim Se-joon hadn’t laid a hand on Hwang Da-eun yet, which was honestly a bit comforting.
No. How could he trust the words of a woman who had slept with him and then dumped him? There was a slight bloodstain on the condom, but that wasn’t proof of her first time.
As time passed, his thoughts spiraled. The scars left on his heart festered and oozed. Realizing that his first time had been so carelessly thrown away made him feel even more miserable. And yet, he had been thinking only of Hwang Da-eun for 24 hours.
Anger surged.
He had called a junior who took a leave of absence after a heartbreak a crazy bastard, and now, ironically, he felt like he understood how that guy must have felt.
What was he supposed to do with Hwang Da-eun, who didn’t even want to look him in the face or talk to him?
That’s right.
He had been told she had no interest in him, so he had to forget her cleanly. Chasing after someone who had rejected him wasn’t like Yoon Joo-won.
Everyone’s first love ends in failure, they say.
No, there was nothing between them to even call it a first love.
“Damn it, this sucks...”
But why did Hwang Da-eun’s name, still lingering in his mouth, taste so bitter?
He was dumbfounded by Hwang Da-eun, who turned away so casually as if sex meant nothing, yet the sound of her voice from a little while ago echoed in his ears, making his lower body throb.
Before sleeping with Hwang Da-eun, he had only noticed small Hwang Da-eun, who merely evoked his protective instincts. He had just been bothered by a woman he had once felt a liking for. He had just kept looking at the petite girl who fit perfectly in his arms because she was cute.
He had liked her, but he didn’t want to get involved in a petty love triangle with his classmates, acting like the king of the jungle, so he had turned away. Yoon Joo-won’s feelings for Hwang Da-eun had only gone that far. It was a one-sided love just enough to be forgotten.
But after rolling around in bed with Hwang Da-eun... he didn’t care if it was just physical attraction. He couldn’t focus on anything because of her.
He felt angry thinking about Hwang Da-eun, who had carelessly abandoned him. Joo-won hung up the phone and just stared at her messenger profile picture, holding his phone in his hand.
Before he knew it, Joo-won had taken his swollen cock out of his briefs. The tip, dripping with pre-cum, looked temptingly ripe.
Looking back, he had only sucked Da-eun’s lower region to his heart’s content, and had been pushed away without even a few back-and-forth movements inside her vagina.
Thinking back on that first experience that ended so futilely only made him laugh dryly again. On second thought, it felt like Joo-won hadn’t even had any fun and had just been used like a dildo to bring Da-eun to orgasm.
Joo-won looked at Da-eun’s picture, grabbed his heavy shaft, and began to stroke his cock. Even though he knew how disgusting he looked, his vigorous youthful energy in his twenties drove him.
But having already tasted her tight body, no matter how much he stroked and rubbed it with his hand, his cock showed no signs of ejaculating.
His reason would only function properly once he released his seed. All day long, all he thought about was Hwang Da-eun, and only his cock stood erect, without releasing any fluid. The more his lust accumulated, the more distorted his thoughts became.
Could he have caught some kind of disease?
Could he have become unable to ejaculate due to the trauma of being so easily taken and dumped by Da-eun?
Joo-won looked down at his stiffly erect cock that showed no signs of releasing anything, and despaired.
It wasn’t just his heart that was aching. His cock, full of fluid, was throbbing heavily from the root.
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