#165: The Shattered Mirror (2)

But she had asked—whether she could see him one last time.

It had been half a year since he last saw her, yet he could vividly imagine the expression on her face as she spoke those words. It would be the same hesitant gaze he knew so well—restrained, considerate, but filled with pain.

That was what he could not bear to witness.

He dared not let his thoughts wander further, for the pain was already too excruciating. He knew he had to distract himself from thoughts of her, lest he do something reckless. It wouldn’t be difficult—he only needed to endure four more days. Four days later, she would be married, departing for the north to reside in another man’s household. From then on, there would be no way for them to meet again, and he would no longer entertain any foolish notions.

Just four more days.

He was a man who could achieve anything if he set his mind to it. Yet at that moment, no matter how hard he tried, he could not erase the shadow of that woman from his heart. His suffering and agitation grew deeper, pulling him further into despair, until his mother entered his study.

Lady Yao had always been a perceptive and compassionate elder. That day, after Qingzhu returned, she noticed Jingchen’s troubled countenance. Upon inquiry, she learned it was about Wenwen.

Wenwen.

She had once believed Wenwen to be the daughter of Lord Fang, which was why she had extended extra care to her. But it turned out she wasn’t, and in the end, she had nearly brought calamity upon the Qi family.

Did she harbor resentment? Of course, it was unavoidable. After all, she had lied and caused Jingchen to endure much unnecessary suffering and hardship.

But… Jingchen loved her.

He had never shown interest in anyone or anything before, always living a quiet, indifferent life, as if he could adapt to any circumstance. But then he fell in love with her, and from that moment on, his eyes always held a faint joy. Whenever he spoke of her, his expression softened, warming those around him.

Now, however, he was about to lose her.

He was entirely immersed in his own world, showing no reaction to her entering the room—or perhaps he was aware someone had come in, but he no longer had the energy to care.

Lady Yao silently approached him, sighed softly, and gently embraced him. “Then go see her,” she said. “Properly say goodbye.”

Though these were simple words, they were not easy to utter at that moment. To the Qi family, Shen Xiling’s existence had been a source of trouble. Now that they had finally managed to distance themselves from her, they naturally wished Jingchen would sever all ties with her. Earlier in the Jiaxi Hall, Qi Ying had deliberately avoided discussing her because he knew his eldest brother still harbored resentment toward Shen Xiling’s identity. He hadn’t forgotten the brutality of the courtroom confrontation.

Lady Yao understood that no one would empathize with him. Frankly, she didn’t want him to see the daughter of the Shen family again either. But… he was in such pain.

Pain that had driven him into solitude.

She couldn’t bear to see him like this.

After she spoke, Qi Ying remained silent for a long while, sitting motionless as if lost in thought. But then Lady Yao felt warmth on the back of her hand. She looked down in surprise—and saw… a tear.

…He was crying.

Qi Ying, the second son of the Qi family, had been born with every advantage and accolade under the sun. His reputation soared even higher after he entered public service. The world knew him as a man of great strategy and resolve, as unyielding as iron. Lady Yao herself had almost never seen him shed a tear—not even during the direst moments six months ago, when he had shown no trace of weakness.

But now…

His expression remained calm, just as it always had. If not for the tear that had fallen onto Lady Yao’s hand, she might not have noticed at all.

He raised his head to look at her, his face almost devoid of emotion. But his eyes—those beautiful phoenix eyes—were shattered, utterly devoid of light.

“Mother,” he said, “…she is my only wish.”

I don’t want anything else.

I just don’t want to lose her.

His words were disjointed, but they pierced Lady Yao’s heart like a blade.

Her child… he had saved everyone in the family. He had fulfilled all their wishes, ensuring everything remained intact. But what about his own wish? Who could grant it for him?

No one.

There would never be anyone to help him. He would always be alone.

Even he could feel wronged.

Lady Yao wept bitterly, hugging him tightly, trying her best to offer some comfort. But she knew it was futile. She couldn’t fulfill his one and only wish.

What a helpless mother she was!

Lady Yao was consumed with anguish, yet a sudden surge of indignation rose within her—not for herself, but for him. She released Qi Ying and looked into his eyes, saying firmly, “Go see her. Forget about everything else. Leave the family to me. If your father or brother asks, I’ll handle them. Just go see her—don’t worry about anything else!”

Why? Why did her child have to endure so much suffering?

Couldn’t he be happy for once? Couldn’t he have his wish fulfilled?

He didn’t ask for much at all…

Her words echoed in the empty study, seeping into Qi Ying’s heart.

Go see her?

Forget everything and just go see her?

It was something he dared not even imagine, let alone allow himself to consider. Yet now, his mother had voiced it, and the thought refused to leave him. Before he even realized it, he found himself rushing out of the study.

He knew he was wrong—terribly wrong.

But he truly… wanted to see her so badly.

On the day Shen Xiling was to be married, snow fell over Langya Prefecture.

Snow was rare in Jiangzuo. It hadn’t snowed since five years ago, but that day it came down heavily. The sky was dark, the wind fierce, pressing heavily on the heart.

Yet the Wei household was bustling with activity. Even before dawn, the area outside Shen Xiling’s door was already filled with the clamor of gongs and drums, and the cheerful notes of suona horns sounded everywhere, as if they were joyfully sending off their own daughter.

The maidservants who had been temporarily assigned to attend to her crowded around her, showering her with auspicious words. They praised her beauty, spoke of how fortunate she was to be marrying well, and interpreted the snow as a good omen—a sign of prosperity. They prattled on about other trivialities, but Shen Xiling heard none of it. She sat silently in front of the dressing mirror, allowing the maids to apply her makeup and dress her in the bright red bridal gown.

Crowned with phoenix ornaments and draped in a scarlet veil, her beauty was breathtaking.

Everything was perfect. She had once imagined a scene almost identical to this—only, she had thought she would be marrying someone else.

That person…

Thinking of him was forbidden. Once she allowed herself to think of him, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Once she thought of him, she felt like tearing off the jade and pearls adorning her head and throwing them to the ground. Once she thought of him, she wanted to run out the door, travel thousands of miles back to his side.

Once she thought of him, she felt as though she had already died.

Shen Xiling closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, she forced herself to focus intently on the rouge box on the dressing table, examining its intricate patterns as if it were something vitally important and fascinating. After a while, she managed to push thoughts of that person out of her mind.

She asked one of the maids, “What time is it?”

One of the maids replied, “Miss, it’s the hour of Chen.”

By the hour of Si, she would be married. Only one hour remained.

She couldn’t say what she was thinking at that moment—whether she hoped time would pass quickly or slowly. Perhaps the former. After all, she was terrified of losing control and running away, running back to him. Doing so would only bring him trouble again—and she absolutely, absolutely didn’t want to cause him any more misfortune.

She was willing to leave, willing to marry, willing to do anything—as long as it didn’t bring him trouble.

By the hour of Si, she would depart for the northern bank of the Yangtze. Once there, no matter how hard she tried, she wouldn’t be able to return. Even if she went mad and desperately tried to come back to him, she wouldn’t succeed.

Let the hour of Si come quickly.

…She couldn’t hold on much longer.

The maids noticed her impatience and assumed she was eager to be married. They giggled behind their hands, offering playful blessings. Shen Xiling remained unresponsive, but suddenly, she heard the music and drumming outside her door pause. Then came the sound of horses neighing, followed by a flurry of voices mixed with nervous, respectful greetings.

The maids exchanged glances, unsure what was happening outside. One of them stood up, intending to investigate, but before she could take a step, the sound of footsteps approached from outside. Then came a man’s deep voice.

Only two words.

“Wenwen.”

The maids didn’t understand the meaning of those words or that they were Shen Xiling’s intimate nickname. But the sudden appearance of a man at the door of a bride’s chamber was highly inappropriate. One of the bolder maids immediately prepared to chase him away, but then their mysterious young mistress suddenly said, “…Everyone, leave.”

The maids were startled. They turned to look at Shen Xiling.

This young woman had arrived at the Wei household unexpectedly, and everyone had kept her identity tightly under wraps. The Wei family’s servants hadn’t uncovered the events that had transpired in Jiankang. They simply assumed she was some distant relative the Wei family had taken in, and their task was merely to assist her until her wedding.

For days, this young mistress had spoken very little, even spending entire days sitting silently in her room, seemingly indifferent to the marriage preparations. Behind her back, the maids whispered about her strange temperament. Fortunately, her nature was gentle, and she appeared compliant, allowing others to make arrangements for her, giving the impression of someone without strong opinions.

However, her command to “leave” carried weight, and her demeanor suddenly grew solemn. The servants in the room inexplicably felt unable to defy her, sensing an air of nobility that surpassed even the Wei family’s rightful masters. Without further protest, they all rose and exited the room.

As they opened the door, Shen Xiling finally saw Qi Ying.

He stood alone outside her door, the biting cold wind of Langya whipping around him, snow falling heavily all around. The Wei household gathered outside, peering curiously and murmuring among themselves. Yet none of that mattered to Shen Xiling. Her eyes saw only Qi Ying.

Only Qi Ying.

Snowflakes clung to his brows and hair, making him appear particularly weary from travel. In that fleeting moment, she was flooded with memories—of the first time she saw him stepping down from the carriage, looking down at her; of the rainy night he returned from Nanling Commandery to Fenghe Garden to find her.

She wasn’t sure what these scenes had in common, yet in that moment, she vividly recalled them, each memory piercing her soul deeply.

She began to tremble almost immediately.

From her heart to her body, she shook violently.