#51: Lovely

Shen Xi lowered his gaze, opened the kraft paper bag, and looked at the mug inside, his eyes deep, as if an unmelting darkness.

Lin Zhan cautiously asked, “Are you... angry?”

Shen Xi: “To be honest, a little.”

Lin Zhan swallowed: “Did you... think I made it ugly?”

“How could that be? You made it very well.”

“Then why are you... like this...”

Shen Xi folded the bag closed and looked into her eyes: “There was heavy rain just now, and the chance of an accident was very high. If I hadn’t arrived, by the time you got home, you would most likely have caught a cold. Once you catch a cold, it’s hard to get better for one or two weeks.”

Lin Zhan mumbled: “I didn’t know it would rain... The weather forecast didn’t mention showers either.”

Shen Xi pinched the bridge of his nose: “That’s why, I don’t know who to be angry at, I just feel very helpless.”

Lin Zhan stood on her tiptoes and massaged his temples: “Don’t be angry, it’s just a small thing.”

“It’s not a small thing. It’s knowing you’re in distress but not being able to get to you immediately.”

That feeling is terrible.

I was afraid something would happen to you.

And I blame myself for not knowing your schedule these past few days earlier.

Lin Zhan hesitated: “But if I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

She lowered her eyelashes, pouting, a little aggrieved. Shen Xi asked her, “Why did you hide doing these things from me?”

Lin Zhan became even more aggrieved by his question, her brows furrowed into an inverted ‘V’ shape, saying, “You’ve done so much for me, and this is all I can do...”

“I know,” his voice softened, “I’m not blaming you; I’m blaming myself.”

She thought of what Shen Xi had done for her, and her nose tingled with a pang of sorrow: “I want to love you well too...”

Shen Xi leaned down, reached out, and his fingertip brushed over the small tear mole under her eye.

“But before loving me, you must first learn to love yourself.”

Loving yourself is more important than loving me.

________________________________________

The competition results were released before the university application deadline.

That afternoon, Lin Zhan was still at home, enjoying the air conditioning and taking a nap.

She vaguely woke up once in the middle, glanced at her phone, and was immediately startled wide awake by Shen Xi’s message.

[The results are out.]

Lin Zhan: [How is it, how is it!!]

A moment later, Lin Zhan added: [Even if I don’t make it into the top ten, it’s okay. I can secretly change my application.]

Shen Xi: [You made it, fifth.]

...!

Lin Zhan breathed a sigh of relief.

She left her room and found that Lin Zhengping knew the news even earlier than she did.

Jiang Wan rubbed her hands together: “Zhanzhan, are you really going to Weida University?”

Lin Zhan nodded.

Jiang Wan: “Then go. Study hard there too; don’t slack off.”

Lin Zhengping chuckled: “When I’m not around, I see she wants to turn the world upside down.”

“Lin Zhan, you can go to another city if you want, but you have to promise me that you’ll keep progressing there.”

Lin Zhan: “How do I promise?”

Lin Zhengping: “Since you don’t want me to plan your future, then you plan it yourself. But the paths diverge, the final outcome must be the same. Within seven years, if you can’t single-handedly hold an art exhibition, it proves you don’t have the ability to make a name for yourself, and you’ll have to obediently follow the path I set for you.”

Lin Zhan stood in the living room for a long time, then after a while, said, “Okay, if I do it, you won’t interfere with any of my choices again.”

Since she had already embarked on this path, she would not back down an inch.

This was a battle for freedom, and even more so, a battle for her ability and honor.

________________________________________

After deciding to attend Weida University in Z City, Lin Zhengping interfered with her even less.

He was convinced that she couldn’t become famous enough to hold an art exhibition within seven years.

In Lin Zhengping’s mind, Lin Zhan was like a kite; no matter how far she flew, as long as he tugged on the string in his hand, she would still have to obediently come home.

He was convinced she couldn’t fly far, nor could she break that string.

Lin Zhan, meanwhile, was secretly competing with Lin Zhengping.

He thought she couldn’t do it, so she sought out professional books to read, imitated her favorite painters, and continuously sketched at home.

The admission results were announced one afternoon. Lin Zhan was successfully admitted to Weida University, and everything went smoothly for Shen Xi too.

She called Zheng Yimian to ask where she had been admitted.

Zheng Yimian chose not to leave, staying in the local area and attending W University, the top university in the province.

Before everyone went their separate ways, Sun Hong organized another dinner.

It was hotpot, a hotpot so spicy it nearly killed them. Someone was sniffling while eating.

One girl, perhaps tearing up from the spiciness, said, “I’ll never see the person I like again, and he’ll never know how much I liked him.”

Lin Zhan said, “You can still ask him out in the future.”

The girl shook her head: “I have no excuse or reason to ask him out anymore.”

Lin Zhan inexplicably recalled years ago, after junior high graduation, Li Chuzhi, similarly with red eyes, whispered to Lin Zhan, “We might never see each other again.”

Perhaps for many, graduation meant a temporary separation, with opportunities to meet again in the future. So they didn’t cry or make a fuss, merely feeling melancholic about not knowing when that large group of people would gather again.

But they didn’t understand that without the support of the same school, some people had lost everything, the chance to see the person they admired.

They no longer had a legitimate reason to hide behind the bushes to watch the boy they liked score goals, blushing and dodging when he looked back and smiled; to have their names shouted loudly by friends when passing his classroom door; to smilingly write his name in the corner of a desk, only for it to be eroded by the passage of time.

Their affection was brave, yet restrained.

They were the most ordinary group of people in youth, doing the most ordinary things, like the cup of soy milk casually bought with breakfast, forgotten with time, losing the right to be remembered because of its very ordinariness.

When the gathering finally dispersed, Lin Zhan saw that girl bidding farewell to everyone.

Lin Zhan knew that the person she truly wanted to talk to was just one among that group. She used this method to conceal her affection.

Sure enough, she wished everyone before her a smooth journey. When it came to the last person, she said, “I hope you’re happy every day.”

The boy probably didn’t remember her face very well, only politely smiled and said, “Congratulations on getting into your dream school as well.”

What was there to congratulate?

As she turned around, Lin Zhan saw her crying.

There was a large message board at the entrance of the restaurant, where everyone could write with markers.

The girl knelt by the board, writing the sentence through her tears.

—Wishing us a bright future, parting ways.

Your future is splendid, and ours is over.

How heartbreaking, how helpless, how reluctant.

Only I know.

________________________________________

On the day of formal registration, Jiang Wan dropped Lin Zhan off at the school gate, and Lin Zhan entered alone with her luggage.

Shen Xi was waiting for her inside the school.

With new student registration, the school was truly bustling.

Lin Zhan’s tuition had been deducted from her card in advance. She followed the signs to register.

Weida University’s art department truly lived up to its reputation; along the way, Lin Zhan could almost accurately distinguish who were art students just by their attire.

Even if their facial features weren’t exquisite, many girls were attractive enough with their makeup and clothing choices.

Lin Zhan glanced at Shen Xi, who was pushing a suitcase.

Shen Xi’s gaze shifted from the signs: “Why are you looking at me?”

Lin Zhan spoke in a businesslike tone: “To see if you’re secretly looking at other girls behind my back.”

Finally, she added: “If you dare to look at other girls at another school, I’ll...”

Shen Xi raised an eyebrow: “And then?”

Lin Zhan: “You actually have such thoughts?”

She continued: “Then I’ll level the medical university across the street with one shot.”

Okay, this is very Lin Zhan.

Shen Xi pursed his lips and smiled: “I won’t look at others.”

From the moment he fell for her, he could only see her.

Lin Zhan was still planning: “Later when you register, I want to go and see too. To scout out the situation at your school.”

Even in this short conversation, Shen Xi had already attracted quite a bit of attention.

Back in high school, everyone was somewhat wary and shy, but now that they were in university, many restraints naturally vanished. Everyone’s gaze towards Shen Xi was different.

Lin Zhan: “Shen Xi, I want to put a gas mask on you right now.”

Shen Xi: ?

“Preferably wrap you up from head to toe, then put you on a high shelf so no one can see you.”

“Okay,” Shen Xi surprisingly agreed, “Then who will help you push your suitcase and carry your bag?”

Lin Zhan thought for a moment and said, “Then don’t put yourself on a high shelf; come down.”

Shen Xi: “...”

Now everything required real-name registration. When it came to queuing for registration, Shen Xi couldn’t take her place; Lin Zhan had to queue herself.

Although Weida University had many pretty girls, Lin Zhan still stood out in the crowd.

She wore a white T-shirt with a fake two-piece checkered skirt tied at the waist below, a simple outfit that perfectly showcased her figure.

There’s a saying that a beauty’s charm lies in her unawareness of her own beauty.

If one is too conscious or focused on their own beauty, it appears artificial.

She stood casually, still talking to Shen Xi, looking as clean as a bunch of lilies of the valley blooming in a secluded valley.

One of the registrars at the front tapped the table and whispered, “How about it, is she the type Old Five likes?”

The person called Old Five looked up: “Too bad she has a boyfriend.”

A female executive on the side said, “That guy’s name is Shen Xi. He’s one year below me. He was practically a legend in our high school. Our schoolgirls are definitely going to cry. But the girl isn’t bad either; she won a lot of awards in her second year of high school.”

“Who pursued whom?”

“Lin Zhan made the first move,” the female executive greeted the next new student and offered paper and pen, “So it’s not like a girl pursuing a guy is inferior. Their relationship is still good. It mainly depends on looks.”

Someone on the side: “...”

So, you’ve been talking for so long just to say a bunch of useless things?

________________________________________

After registering, the two headed to the dorm.

When they arrived at the dorm, there was already one girl there.

A girl with a ponytail, about 1.5 meters tall, and quite good-looking.

The girl smiled at Lin Zhan and said, “There are three beds left. You can choose.”

“Okay,” Lin Zhan pushed her suitcase in, “My name is Lin Zhan, what’s yours?”

“Luoluo,” the girl said, “Easy to remember. Surname Luo, given name Luo, both the ‘Luo’ from Luoyang.”

Luoluo blinked and asked her, “Is that your boyfriend behind you?”

“Yes.”

Luoluo said, “You two make a good pair.”

Lin Zhan was tidying up her things while Shen Xi put her clothes into the wardrobe.

He was tall, and the girls’ dorm furniture was set low. After tidying up, he accidentally hit his head on the top of her wardrobe when he looked up.

Lin Zhan was busy putting up wallpaper when she suddenly heard a muffled thud. She turned around in surprise—

Shen Xi’s long fingers covered the bumped spot, his hair puffed up from between his splayed fingers.

He frowned, leaning on the wardrobe, looking at Lin Zhan with slight displeasure.

Like a... koala.

Lin Zhan laughed, feigning injury: “Why are you looking at me? It’s not like I bumped you...”

Shen Xi glanced at her, then his long eyelashes lowered again as he went to do something else.

But that mess of hair he’d ruffled remained perpetually sticking up in circles.

After leaving the dorm, standing in the dimly lit corridor, Lin Zhan pulled on one of Shen Xi’s arms, stood on tiptoes, and whispered into his ear.

“You were a bit cute just now.”

Shen Xi’s expression remained unchanged, the light from the corner of his eye subtly showing, waiting for her to finish speaking.

Lin Zhan gave a thumbs-up and whispered.

“Cute, want to sleep with you.”