Chapter 35: Losing Everything, Utterly Defeated...

This was not what Luan Nian had anticipated.

He had rejected Shang Zhitao with the intention of never being involved with her again. But when his fingertips brushed against her warm, soft earlobe, he suddenly wanted to do something to her—something urgent and destructive, something that would overwhelm her completely.

Just yesterday, Shang Zhitao had resolved never to be intimate with Luan Nian again. Yet today, when he invited her home, she froze, staring at him in silence.

Luan Nian’s fingers lingered on her earlobe. “I’ve suddenly realized your suggestion isn’t bad,” he said casually.

“What?”

“The idea of being fixed sexual partners.” Luan Nian reminded her. He started the car engine and didn’t say another word. The car sped up so much that Shang Zhitao thought they didn’t even need foreplay—the strange silence in the car alone was enough to arouse her.

She couldn’t explain what was happening to her; her desire surged so strongly that it frightened her. She tightly clenched her lips, the words “stop the car” hovering in her throat but refusing to come out. Rather than getting out of the car, she wanted to stay by Luan Nian’s side. She understood now—the first person to fall in love would lose everything, utterly defeated.

Later, she couldn’t remember how it happened. Luan Nian overwhelmed her once again—in his garage, in his car. Afterward, Shang Zhitao wondered why they hadn’t even gotten out of the car.

Luan Nian’s tongue encircled her earlobe, then delved deeper. Her hair carried a faint fragrance, her small, quick breaths resembling her usual humble demeanor. Luan Nian deliberately applied pressure, causing her to let out a soft moan that escaped her throat. He whispered into her ear, “Beautiful.” The sounds grew uncontrollable—soft and shallow, occasionally louder, making anyone who heard them feel weak in the knees.

From the car to the bedroom, then to the bathroom, Luan Nian became more energetic, while Shang Zhitao collapsed, losing all sense of direction. She didn’t have time to think about whether this was right or wrong; all she knew was that every time she closed her eyes this week, she saw Luan Nian. Once a young woman opened the floodgates of desire, it was hard to close them again. Others were irrelevant; she only felt like she hadn’t had enough of him, as if she needed to devour him whole before moving on to someone else.

The water cascaded over her shoulders, washing away her sweat and his scent. Shang Zhitao thought it was over, but it wasn’t. The shower was hot, almost suffocating. His scent disappeared, only to return—relentlessly pursuing her.

In her most vulnerable moment, she craved his kiss. She cupped his face with both hands, kissing him tenderly.

This time, it was truly complete—every pore filled with pleasure. She didn’t know how long it took for her breathing to steady. Instinctively reaching for the blanket, she accidentally touched Luan Nian’s hand. Even after everything they’d done, she quickly pulled her hand back, as if holding hands was more forbidden than anything else.

Luan Nian handed her the blanket, and the two of them each retreated to opposite ends of the bed, just like last time.

“I’ve gone mad,” Shang Zhitao thought.

“Am I fucking insane?” Luan Nian thought.

Neither spoke; neither knew what to say. One had just decided yesterday never to do this again, and the other had recently rejected her proposal of being fixed sexual partners. Both had strayed far from their original intentions.

“I think Sunday isn’t a good time,” Shang Zhitao finally spoke after a long silence.

“Hmm?”

“Monday is a workday, and the marks on my body will still be visible.” During their intimacy, she hadn’t thought much about it, but afterward, she realized Luan Nian liked leaving marks on her. “If it were Friday night, there’d be time to recover… Or next time, could you… not leave hickeys?” What she was really thinking was that Sunday was inconvenient—she had English lessons to attend! If it were Friday, she could leave work, come to him, and leave early enough to make the most of the weekend.

Hearing Shang Zhitao seriously discuss future timing, Luan Nian found the situation somewhat comical. He had been in a couple of relationships but had never had a fixed sexual partner. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that in this matter, it would be Shang Zhitao leading him. Were young women nowadays this open?

He didn’t speak, put on his clothes, and walked out of the bedroom. Downstairs, he poured himself a glass of chilled soda, gulping it down in one go—it instantly sobered him up. He disliked being led by anyone, even in something trivial like this. He poured a glass for Shang Zhitao too, and she took a sip—it was refreshing.

“Are you sober now?”

“Yes.”

“Then go back. Don’t you have work tomorrow?” He issued a dismissal. This was awkward. Shang Zhitao didn’t realize that her words had made Luan Nian uncomfortable. He was eager to compete with her, though over what, perhaps it was about who could be more uninhibited in this matter.

“Oh, okay.” Shang Zhitao got up to dress. She heard Luan Nian on the phone: “Master Liu, can you help me send someone…” She leaped over to grab the phone from him, but Luan Nian locked her in his arms, holding the phone high and speaking into it: “Yes, at my place.”

“…” After hanging up, he released Shang Zhitao. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s against company policy for internal employees to date.” Shang Zhitao was a bit anxious, mainly because she couldn’t face Master Liu.

“We’re fuck buddies, not dating.”

“…” Luan Nian tossed a line at her.

“That’s still not okay… Tell Master Liu not to come.” She hurriedly searched for her phone, planning to escape, but Luan Nian snatched it away with lightning speed. “Beg me.”

Shit.

“Please.” Shang Zhitao bowed to him, pleading for mercy and a little dignity.

Luan Nian had achieved his goal. He called Master Liu: “Master Liu, no need to come. She’s leaving on her own. Rest.” He still held Shang Zhitao’s phone, refusing to give it back.

Shang Zhitao reached out to him. “I need to go.” Luan Nian, pretending to be deaf, tucked her phone under his pillow, closed his eyes, and went to sleep.

“So, should I leave or not?”

“Sleep in the guest room.”

“Oh.”

Shang Zhitao climbed onto the bed, reached under Luan Nian’s pillow for her phone, turned toward the door, and took two steps before stopping. “How am I going to work tomorrow…?” She was genuinely pondering this issue.

Luan Nian ignored her, keeping his eyes tightly shut without speaking. However, his stomach betrayed him—he was hungry. After playing basketball all afternoon and engaging in such prolonged physical activity with Shang Zhitao, he hadn’t eaten anything yet! So he opened his eyes, slipped on a T-shirt, and saw Shang Zhitao still standing there like an idiot.

“Hungry?”

“…” Shang Zhitao wanted to say no, but hunger had robbed her of pride, so she nodded.

“Then go cook.”

“I only know how to boil noodles.” Shang Zhitao’s noodle-cooking skills were honed in her dorm kitchen during university.

“Alright, make do.”

The two entered the elevator, and Shang Zhitao suddenly asked Luan Nian, “Why don’t you have a housekeeper?”

“I’m not used to it.”

“What?”

“I’m not used to having strangers around.”

But you didn’t seem to mind strangers in bed, Shang Zhitao thought inwardly. On the first floor, Luan Nian indeed acted aloof, pouring himself a small glass of red wine and sitting on a barstool. He tilted his chin at Shang Zhitao: “Go ahead.”

Fine, she went.

Shang Zhitao rummaged through the fridge, pulling out tomatoes, eggs, and some greens, along with noodles. She washed the vegetables and lit the stove. Pouring oil into the pan, she quickly became a novice. In university, she had cooked noodles in a small electric pot—never on an open flame. When she sprinkled chopped green onions, the oil splattered, and the pan caught fire. She jumped back in shock.

Luan Nian nearly spat out his wine, rushing over to turn off the stove. Frowning, he looked at Shang Zhitao: “You know how to cook noodles?”

“Ah…”

“What else do you know how to do?” Luan Nian would never trust Shang Zhitao’s claims again. She said she could drive and crashed his car; she said she could cook noodles and nearly burned his house down. Pushing her aside, he quickly prepared a bowl of vegetable noodles.

Last time it was steak and pasta; this time it was vegetable noodles. Shang Zhitao was surprised that Luan Nian could actually cook. She stood awkwardly beside him, watching him work, unsure of what to do.

“You can actually cook.”

“I’m picky about food.”

Luan Nian had always been picky. As a child in kindergarten, he refused to eat the meals provided, preferring to go hungry. Later, after moving to the U.S. with his parents, he didn’t enjoy Western food or takeout, so he occasionally cooked for himself. Even if his cooking wasn’t great, it was still edible. Over time, he became decent at preparing simple dishes.

Shang Zhitao wasn’t picky at all—she loved eating everything, including the noodles Luan Nian had prepared for her. As she slurped a mouthful of noodles, she suddenly thought: If Kitty knew that her beloved boss was sleeping with me and even cooking noodles for me, would she skin me alive? Pull my tendons? Carve my bones? She already didn’t like me.

While eating, her mind wandered, imagining an entire TV drama. After quietly finishing their meal, Shang Zhitao hesitantly asked, “Do you have any extra toothbrushes?”

“Hmm.” Luan Nian led her upstairs and handed her a spare toothbrush and toothpaste from the bathroom drawer.

“What about a towel? A bath towel? Pajamas? A contact lens case…?” Shang Zhitao suddenly remembered many things. “If I come here every Friday night to sleep, I’ll need these.”

“So we’ve confirmed meeting every Friday night?” Luan Nian asked.

“…” Shang Zhitao was caught off guard by his retort. Before she could think of a comeback, he added, “Can’t you bring your own?”

“Should I carry all of it every time? Or do you have somewhere I can store them?”

Luan Nian understood what she was really asking: Is it appropriate for me to leave things here? Would your other girlfriends mind seeing them? He didn’t answer her, too lazy to waste words, and grabbed his toothbrush to brush his teeth.

Shang Zhitao stood there, thinking, then asked, “Do other female colleagues from the company come here?”

Luan Nian spat out toothpaste foam and coldly asked, “What? Are you here to find sisters?” He neither confirmed nor denied.

“No, no, definitely not.”

Shang Zhitao was clear-headed about this—she didn’t want to be the other woman. So she directly asked, “You’re not in a relationship right now, are you? If you have a girlfriend, this wouldn’t be good.”

Luan Nian was genuinely irritated. Was Shang Zhitao insane? If he had a girlfriend, would he bring her home? He threw the toothbrush into the cup and stormed into the master bedroom, shutting the door and locking her annoying questions outside.

Shang Zhitao pouted, brushed her teeth, washed her face, and headed to the guest room. Luan Nian had impeccable taste; the bedding he chose was incredibly comfortable. Last time, she hadn’t paid much attention, but lying on it now, she noticed the difference between Luan Nian’s bed and hers. She was tired, turned off the light, and fell into a deep sleep in Luan Nian’s guest room.

The next morning, she woke up early and noticed that the door to Luan Nian’s bedroom was open, but he was nowhere to be seen. After brushing her teeth, she spotted him coming upstairs, drenched in sweat. He worked out every morning.

Shang Zhitao glanced at the clock—had this guy woken up at six? Good grief. Luan Nian peeled off his workout shirt, revealing his toned upper body, and entered the bathroom. Spotting her gaze lingering on his abs, he grabbed her by the collar, dragged her out, and closed the door to shower.