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“I’m so frustrated.”
Clutching her aching stomach and making a face, Da-eun listened to Su-jin’s Freudian praise begin.
“You’ll feel so much better after sleeping with a guy once. That mysterious gastritis, the headaches that don’t respond to painkillers, the constipation as stubborn as your life, and that pouty mouth of yours will all be cured.”
“Are you going to start that again?”
“It’s your repressed unconscious telling you. You said it’s nervous gastritis, right? And the endoscopy showed nothing wrong. Your headaches are also stress-related. You need to have sex to fix it.”
“Haaah...”
Da-eun ran a hand down her dry face and glared at Su-jin. She really didn’t have the energy to listen to this nonsense anymore.
“You always say I’m frustrated no matter what I say. I get constipated, you say it’s frustration. I have nightmares, you say it’s frustration. I make a slip of the tongue, you say it’s frustration. Now you’re even saying I’m frustrated because I’m sick? I’m Hwang Da-eun, and your way of thinking is what frustrates me the most.”
Da-eun sipped her cabbage juice in front of Su-jin, who was drinking coffee. It was supposed to soothe her burning stomach, but as soon as the cabbage juice went down, her esophagus felt prickly.
Da-eun had been a walking general hospital since she was young, suffering from all sorts of stress-related minor illnesses. Even though the hospital couldn’t find anything seriously wrong, her body was always weak. Gastritis, headaches, stiff shoulders, insomnia, even period cramps. They weren’t life-threatening, but she constantly said “I’m going to die” like an old person.
“Hwangda, stop eating that stuff. Freud said it, okay? Constipation, dreams, slips of the tongue, neurosis – they’re all because desires are repressed.”
“Yeah, well, my desire isn’t sex. It’s a placebo. If that were true, the doctor would have prescribed sex to me. It doesn’t make sense.”
“That’s because doctors don’t study Freud.”
“It seems like you’re the one who didn’t study properly. And. Are you saying you’re smarter than a doctor?”
“No, I’m saying Freud is smarter than a neighborhood doctor.”
“Why are you still talking about Freud from ages ago?”
“The fact that Freud from ages ago is still being cited proves how great he was.”
Ever since she took the elective course ‘Modern People and Psychoanalysis’ and was deeply impressed, Su-jin had linked every phenomenon to ‘frustration’.
“That’s why you got a C+ in the ‘Modern People and Psychoanalysis’ class.”
“Huh?”
“Have you ever heard the saying ‘A little knowledge is a dangerous thing’?”
At Da-eun’s remark, Su-jin flared up and slammed her fist on the coffee shop table.
“Hey! That’s because I was a bit short on attendance, I did well on the exam.”
“Stop pretending you know everything when you got a C+.”
“Am I wrong? When was the last time you had sex? Aha! Never, right? You’ve lived to twenty-three without ever having sex, so it’s no wonder your body isn’t healthy! Humans are just animals. Don’t repress your desires with reason.”
“You should focus on your own life.”
“I will, as soon as I get a boyfriend.”
Su-jin’s exaggerated theatrical tone made the people at other tables in the coffee shop glance at Da-eun. Ever since she started taking ‘Understanding of Drama’ this semester, her way of speaking had been like that all the time.
At this rate, rumors would spread all over campus that Lee Su-jin has enthusiastic sex whenever she has a boyfriend, and that Hwang Da-eun has never had sex.
“Don’t you have class? I’m getting up.”
“Where are you going?”
“My stomach hurts, so I’m going to the department office to warm my belly and lie down for a bit.”
“You’re sick, but you can still go to the get-together later?”
“Professor Park Eun-joo is going, so I have to. She said no one should be absent.”
The thought of putting alcohol into her stomach, which felt like it would flip even with just water, made her vision go dark, but Da-eun couldn’t be the only one missing from the department professor’s gathering.
“Hey, can’t you hear this sound?”
“What sound?”
“The sound of Hwang Da-eun’s unconscious mind. ‘Master, please have sex with me. My stomach hurts from all this pent-up frustration...’“
“All I can hear is nonsense coming out of Lee Su-jin’s mouth.”
“Nonsense, you say!”
If she sat there and listened any longer, she felt like she would be brainwashed by ‘Lee Su-jin’s Praise of Freud’, no, ‘Lee Su-jin’s Praise of Sex’, so she clutched her aching stomach and stood up.
“I’m not interested in some quack who diagnoses people after taking one semester of an elective course. Go preach your sex-as-a-cure-all somewhere else. I’m leaving. See you later.”
Even as she left the coffee shop, Su-jin’s phantom voice lingered in her ears.
Well, if she thought about it, it wasn’t entirely wrong. She was twenty-three and hadn’t even held a guy’s hand, let alone had sex, so at her age, her desires must have been piling up.
The campus life Da-eun had dreamed of wasn’t this gloomy. She wanted to be a campus couple, hold hands with a boyfriend, go to movies, and experience an unforgettable, beautiful love.
Da-eun’s life started to go wrong because of that damn confession. She ended up in the same group project team as Kim Se-joon, a classmate in her major, so they ate lunch and drank coffee together every day.
They became friends while working on the project, went to movies together, and he even secretly gave her hard-to-get exam study guides, so she thought they had feelings for each other. When he asked her to go see a late-night movie alone on Saturday night, wasn’t that basically game over?
‘I should watch this movie one more time. The potentially boring subject of quantum mechanics is made fast-paced by the quick editing...’
“Se-joon-ah.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s date.”
“Da-eun-ah. What are you suddenly talking about?”
Kim Se-joon’s expression turned serious at Da-eun’s shy confession.
“I like you.”
“Why the sudden outburst?”
Da-eun felt wronged by Kim Se-joon, who treated her like a strange person, calling her confession a sudden outburst.
“Sudden outburst? What about eating lunch together every day, drinking coffee, sharing study guides, and going to movies?”
“Can’t classmates eat together?”
“Wasn’t this a date?”
“Why are you jumping to conclusions like that? Making the atmosphere awkward. Coming out with a confession suddenly after enjoying a movie... Ha, I’ve never seen you as a woman. What kind of date is watching a movie with a classmate?”
“It was a late-night movie...”
“Late-night is cheaper, you know? If I liked you, I would have paid full price to see it in the evening.”
She should have just turned away then, but tears welled up in her eyes without her realizing it. It was the first time she had liked someone, so she didn’t even realize how pathetic she looked as she cried and sobbed in front of her classmate.
She tried to forget it, admitting it was her own naive misunderstanding about dating, but the aftermath of her unrequited love was quite harsh. The pain of rejection was hard enough, but that loose-lipped jerk went around telling everyone that Da-eun had confessed to him.
And a while later, a senior who had just returned from the military delivered the final blow in front of Da-eun.
“Hey, are you some kind of classmate killer?”
“What’s that?”
“There’s always one ‘classmate killer’ in every class year. Today they go to this person and cry, asking them to date. Tomorrow they go to that person and cry, asking them to date. I heard you’re the classmate killer of this year’s freshmen? Be honest. How many people have you confessed to so far?”
The rumor spread quickly through word of mouth, and Da-eun had become the so-called ‘classmate killer’ who cried and threw a tantrum in front of her classmates for not dating her.
The male classmates in her department, filled with the unfiltered words of the older, kkondae (kkondae - a derogatory term for an older person who is condescending and imposes their outdated views) senior who had just returned from the military, chuckled as if it was a well-known story.
Da-eun, her face bright red, couldn’t even retort properly and had to turn away.
Kim Se-joon was a hardcore ‘inssa’ (popular person), and Da-eun was a ‘jjugeuri’ (loser/outsider). Da-eun’s serious explanation was buried under the inssa’s exaggerated portrayal. To gather her seniors and classmates to argue back was just too... embarrassing.
She wanted to take a leave of absence because she was so embarrassed, but she had no money. Ever since she applied to the Aesthetics department, her mother had nagged her about not planning to earn money, so she was already on edge. She couldn’t bring herself to go home and say she was taking a break because she was embarrassed.
After that, she just holed up in the library and studied as usual, like the jjugeuri she was. It was foolish of her to get excited about entering university and do things she’d never done before, like dating. Fortunately, Kim Se-joon went to the army soon after, and Da-eun found her peaceful routine again.
At one point, realizing the dismal employment rate for Aesthetics majors, she tried studying for the civil service exam, but it just didn’t suit her aptitude.
The employment rate was hopeless, but she enjoyed studying aesthetics. She’d probably get another smack on the back of the head from her mom if she told her she was thinking of going to graduate school, though.
In that sense, Lee Su-jin’s nonsense was actually tempting. Da-eun’s life in university had been completely devoid of fun.
Could it be that this sluggish body, despite having all its limbs intact, really wanted sex? Had repressed desire caused her neurosis?
If only she had some vitality in her life, she felt like she could do anything. But didn’t dating also require energy? She was so tired she could barely open her eyes in the morning, and even though she knew it was nervous gastritis, she drank five cups of coffee a day.
No, what was she thinking? It was all Lee Su-jin’s fault. Listening to her talk about frustration all day made all sorts of strange thoughts pop into her head. Brainwashing was truly terrifying.
But you know what? She had actually tried everything for this weak body. She had tried all sorts of Western medicine early on, and when that didn’t work, she moved on to traditional Korean medicine. She even tried wild ginseng, black goat, carp soup, and eel extract.
But this damn gastritis and headache just wouldn’t go away. The hospital just said it was stress-related, but who in Korea doesn’t live with stress? Why was she the only one suffering so much?
She had tried eating everything she could to get a little healthier, and if being weak was the only way to get better, then what couldn’t she do? If there was a guarantee of getting better, she would have wanted to try sex too. Of course, even if it didn’t help, she still wanted to try sex.
However, sex wasn’t easy for modern people either. She wanted to have sex, but she had never learned how to have safe sex with a harmless man.
After getting burned badly for confessing to a popular classmate, she had no confidence in doing anything like dating on campus again. She was sick and tired of people whispering about her.
But even if it wasn’t her intention, all she knew was home and the library. Where was she supposed to find a man, especially a harmless one? She thought she would be dating and in a relationship once she became a university student, but at this rate, she felt like she would never even see a man after graduation.
Lee Su-jin told her to go to a club and meet anyone, but in this day and age, a one-night stand with a stranger? Even if she went to a club, there wouldn’t be any guys she liked, and she didn’t have the courage to just follow a guy she only saw the face of to a motel in this scary world.
Even a classmate she thought she knew well revealed his true colors as a crazy person after she confessed. What if she slept with a stranger and got a sexually transmitted disease? She didn’t have the confidence to handle the aftermath with her weak body.
It wasn’t that she was hung up on her first time, but honestly, she didn’t want to have her first time with a promiscuous guy. The thought of being naked and rolling around in a strange motel with an unidentified man in this dangerous world also bothered her.
And even if she dressed up and went to a club, the few good-looking guys there wouldn’t be interested in Da-eun. Tall, handsome, and stylish guys her age were always with tall, pretty, and stylish girls.
“Haaa... What am I thinking?”
The person who should be offering isn’t even thinking about it, and here she was worrying about STDs.
Da-eun arrived at the department office and collapsed onto the makeshift bed behind the partition. She wrapped a lap blanket tightly around her stomach and tossed and turned while clutching her aching gut until she finally drifted off to sleep.
“Hey. Take one of these.”
“A condom?”
Da-eun, who had been lying behind the partition, groggily opened her blurry eyes at the voice coming from a corner of the department office. She was already half-asleep, so the voice made her vision even cloudier.
“If we can’t pick up any girls at the club later, we won’t be able to leave until the first bus.”
What were they talking about?
Da-eun rubbed her eyes and scanned the speakers whose voices she could hear through the gap in the partition.
Most of the male classmates had enlisted after finishing their first year and had almost all been discharged by now. She noticed a few classmates who had postponed their enlistment gathered in the department office.
Rumor had it that even the guys who had postponed their enlistment would be enlisting together before graduating, and it seemed like the classmates who hadn’t gone to the army yet were planning to go clubbing today.
Looking at your faces, it seems like you guys won’t be able to meet any girls at the club until the last bus the next day, not just the first one.
As she scanned the guys gathered around the table with her blurry eyes, Yoon Joo-won, sitting in the corner of the group of classmates, caught Da-eun’s attention. Surrounded by other classmates who didn’t know their place, talking about having one-night stands with girls at the club, Yoon Joo-won’s solitary and handsome appearance stood out.
Being mixed in with the ugly guys only made the already striking Yoon Joo-won more noticeable. It wasn’t like they were doing a ‘face 몰아주기’ (a game where people make funny faces to make one person look better). If they went to the club together like that, the girls would only pay attention to Yoon Joo-won and ignore everyone else.
Yoon Joo-won’s towering height of well over 190cm made him stand out like a crane among chickens among the other guys who barely reached 170cm.
His broad shoulders, which even the department jacket couldn’t hide, and his long, straight legs, befitting the ace striker of the Korea University soccer club, caught her eye in turn. The department office’s plastic chair looked ridiculously small to accommodate Yoon Joo-won’s legs.
His soft hair, reminiscent of a character from a romance comic, shimmered in the sunlight. It seemed that his hair played a significant role in Yoon Joo-won’s attractive appearance.
Yoon Joo-won swept his silky hair back. Come to think of it, she didn’t think she had ever seen him smile. If a guy with such well-defined features went around smiling cheaply, the girls at school probably wouldn’t have left him alone.
Perhaps knowing how good-looking he was, he had rarely been seen hanging out with the other department students since his first year. Yoon Joo-won was a classmate, but he felt like someone from another world.
Today too, his watch, bag, and even his clothes. Even to Da-eun, who didn’t know much about luxury brands, Yoon Joo-won’s outfit looked like it cost well over ten million won. His looks alone made him hard to approach, but the expensive things he wore made him feel so different from the other classmates that it was uncomfortable.
Come to think of it, Yoon Joo-won was a really unusual guy. She hardly ever saw him at school, so she thought he was out partying every day, but she heard he had never missed a scholarship every semester. So she thought he was a homebody and a studious type, but then she heard he was the ace of the soccer club. When she saw him coming out of the business administration building and asked, he said he was even double-majoring.
With his busy schedule, he was probably even squeezing in time to go clubbing before enlisting? He wouldn’t even need to go to such places; there would be a line of girls who liked Yoon Joo-won. Did he just not want to date seriously?
Unlike Da-eun, who barely dragged her weak body to campus, that guy Yoon Joo-won was living a fulfilling youth. Even though they were the same age, she envied his vigor.
She somehow couldn’t believe that a guy as handsome as him would just grab any girl at a club and have a one-night stand.
Lee Su-jin had dragged her to a club a few times, but it was always full of crude guys who puffed themselves up like ruffled gray pigeons in heat. She wanted to grab Yoon Joo-won and ask him which neighborhood the club he went to was in.
Watching Yoon Joo-won silently holding the condom a classmate had given him, another guy put a condom in Joo-won’s pocket.
“You know what this is, right? Our Joo-won needs to lose his virginity this time. Don’t lose it and keep it safe.”
Virgin?
Da-eun unconsciously swallowed hard at the mention of Joo-won being a ‘virgin’. Why did Lee Su-jin’s ‘frustration’ rant suddenly come to mind at this moment?
She had never thought of Yoon Joo-won romantically. Da-eun, who had become an involuntary outsider after her failed confession to a classmate, and Yoon Joo-won, who had become a voluntary outsider sometime along the way. Maybe it was because there was no common ground between them, but even if they were close, the aloof-looking Yoon Joo-won definitely seemed unapproachable even as a classmate.
Anyway, it seemed like she was the only university student around who hadn’t had sex even at the age of twenty-three. Just as Lee Su-jin always teased Da-eun for never having done it, the other classmates seemed to be teasing Joo-won for his lack of experience.
The news that the great Yoon Joo-won was a ‘virgin’ jolted her awake. She felt awkward for overhearing what seemed like a secret she shouldn’t have, but for some reason, she found herself listening intently to their conversation.
Joo-won stared at the guy spouting nonsense with a blank expression.
“Hey, is one enough? It’s our Joo-won’s first time; we should give him a whole box.”
“You jerk, then you buy it. Complaining even when we’re giving him one.”
The guys around Yoon Joo-won, still like ruffled pigeons in the middle of winter, started bickering again.
Were there ghosts obsessed with sex who couldn’t die in the sacred halls of Korean academia? They acted all innocent in front of the female classmates, but among themselves, the guys talked about all sorts of things.
Following Lee Su-jin, even the guys were sex-obsessed, constantly talking about it whenever their eyes met, even though they were at their peak age. The saying that humans are animals wasn’t wrong. They were very vulgar animals. Da-eun, who was listening intently to their conversation, wasn’t in a position to criticize them either.
“Don’t you know that the first time isn’t just a one-time thing? He’s not impotent, so what’s the point of just one? Just one.”
“If you’re so dissatisfied, do it without a condom then.”
Da-eun felt like her ears would rot if she listened to the guys snickering with the condoms any longer, so she stretched languidly and got up.
“Someone’s behind the pillar.”
The guys, who hadn’t realized Da-eun was behind the partition, awkwardly hid the condoms and scratched their heads.
“You were there?”
“I didn’t hear any noise...”
Her eyes met Yoon Joo-won’s, who was still sitting there nonchalantly. Feeling her neck inexplicably flush under his persistent gaze, Da-eun wrapped the bundled blanket around her stomach and fled the department office as if escaping.
Da-eun usually avoided gatherings with classmates using various excuses, but she couldn’t miss a get-together attended by a required major professor.
Not only was the number of students small, but the industry itself was narrow within the Aesthetics department, so the professor’s words were practically the truth. Even as an outsider, there were a couple of gatherings each semester that she absolutely had to attend, and today was one of them.
Furthermore, Da-eun, who was considering going to graduate school, wanted Professor Park Eun-joo, who had organized today’s event, to be her advisor.
Professor Park Eun-joo, a giant in the field of aesthetics, was the best in Korea in terms of ability, but her personality was prickly, so Da-eun couldn’t bring herself to say she would miss the gathering.
Wanting to make a good impression on the professor, she clutched her aching stomach and kept downing shots. Drinking so much alcohol on an empty stomach was too much, and after five shots of soju, her vision started to spin.
“Hwangda. Are you okay?”
Su-jin asked with a worried look, seeing Da-eun drinking shots with a pale face.
“Yeah.”
“Someone who says their stomach hurts should stop drinking so much. You’re going to be miserable again tomorrow. Even if you drink like that, the professor hasn’t looked this way once. She wouldn’t even notice if you just hid your glass.”
“If I don’t drink this, there’s no fun in my life. This is the first alcohol I’ve had in three months.”
“Anyone would think you’re a heavy drinker. At least eat some snacks. Seriously, our Hwangda needs so much looking after! What would you do without this older sister?”
Da-eun mumbled as she chewed the cherry tomato that Su-jin popped into her mouth and rubbed her face with both hands.
“Professor, I’m thinking of submitting my resume to the Yeonji Gallery this time.”
“Yeonji Gallery? A former student of mine used to be the director there.”
“Yes. That’s why I was wondering if you could possibly write me a letter of recommendation.”
The so-called ‘inssa’ students had gathered around the professor and were already talking about letters of recommendation and graduate school.
Da-eun just kept drinking shots without any real purpose, watching the other students flatter the professor.
She didn’t have the confidence to join that group. She felt like she would just pour cold water on the friendly atmosphere if she awkwardly stepped in, so she just moved her lips silently from afar, looking at Professor Park Eun-joo. Unfortunately, the professor didn’t even glance her way.
Looking around the gathering, Da-eun suddenly made eye contact with Yoon Joo-won. He looked like an inssa. Yoon Joo-won also wasn’t mingling with the others and was just drinking his shots alone.
Da-eun awkwardly looked away and lowered her head. She was so overwhelmed by the rising intoxication that she couldn’t think straight.
“I’m getting drunk... so drunk...”
“Shall we go outside for some fresh air?”
“No. Phuuh... Don’t draw unnecessary attention. I’ll just go out and come back quickly by myself.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah...”
Da-eun naturally got up as if she was going to the restroom. As expected, no one paid any attention to her getting up.
The sociable students were chattering noisily around the professor, and no one even looked at Da-eun as she stood up, having just been sitting in a corner of the table, mindlessly accepting shots.
Should she even have come to this gathering? Even if she went home now, Professor Park Eun-joo probably wouldn’t even remember that Da-eun was there.
As she stepped out of the pub, the still chilly spring breeze of March blew. She thought the cold air would sober her up, but perhaps because she relaxed, she felt even more intoxicated.
She inexplicably felt gloomy about her situation. Da-eun gave up on her plan to just get some air and go back inside. Even if she stayed until the end, it was obvious that Professor Park Eun-joo wouldn’t even notice her. She didn’t want to sit there like a background extra, watching the other students try to impress the professor.
Once an outsider, always an outsider, it seemed. Uncharacteristically, she had come to the gathering and just drunk too much.
And so, Da-eun trudged home.
Her aching stomach felt like it was about to flip inside out, and now even her temples started to throb.
Why was the night air so chilly? She walked with her body hunched over, shivering from the cold, when suddenly something heavy was placed on her shoulder with a thud.
“Ah, damn it, what is it...”
Her words came out harshly because of her throbbing headache. When she nervously checked her shoulder, she saw a large department jacket, twice her size, draped over her.
“You’ll catch a cold.”
And the pleasant baritone voice that followed somewhat soothed her sharp nerves.
“Yoon Joo-won?”
Da-eun looked up at Joo-won’s face, which was so far above her. Since she was wearing flats, her height barely reached his chest, and just making eye contact made the back of her neck stiff.
Why did his voice sound so mature even though they were the same age? Her heart fluttered involuntarily as his deep voice reached her ears.
“Why aren’t you wearing warmer clothes? You should have at least brought a blanket.”
“What are you saying...? Why did you come out?”
“Going home.”
“Why?”
“It was boring.”
To get from the pub to the studio apartment in front of the back gate where Da-eun lived, the fastest way was to cut across the school. Whether Yoon Joo-won also lived near the back gate, he naturally started walking in the same direction as her.
Suddenly, Da-eun was walking across campus side-by-side with Yoon Joo-won in the dark night.
With the large department jacket on her shoulders, her chattering lips stopped moving. Her headache seemed to lessen a bit, and as she pondered, she remembered the conversation of the classmates who said they were going clubbing after the gathering.
“Hey. I heard the guys are enlisting together? You guys are something else. While all the other guys are getting discharged, what have you been doing not going to the army yet? Now all the remaining guys are going to enlist, huh?”
Da-eun asked, breaking the awkward silence, and Joo-won replied in a nonchalant voice.
“I guess so.”
Suddenly, the thought that Yoon Joo-won’s beautiful hair would soon be cut off mercilessly made her inexplicably resent the division of Korea. He would probably still be handsome even with short hair, but his hair definitely contributed to his unrealistically good looks.
“Why are you going home when you said you were going to the club to hit on girls with the others?”
“......”
Having sobered up a bit, Da-eun asked Joo-won, almost snapping at him without realizing it. Joo-won didn’t reply at all, as if he was offended.
Ah, she must be crazy. She had said something unnecessary. They weren’t close enough to say such things. Glancing at Yoon Joo-won from afar by herself, it seemed like Da-eun had built up an internal sense of closeness on her own.
They still had another 15 minutes to walk to the back gate. What was she going to do about this awkward silence? She wanted to disappear into the large, heavy department jacket draped over her like a cloak. She wanted to scatter and vanish like a ghost.
“Ah!”
Regretting her words like an idiot, she was walking clumsily when, to make matters worse, Yoon Joo-won’s department jacket slipped off her shoulders and fell to the ground with a thud.
“Sorry.”
Startled, Da-eun crouched down and picked up the jacket. But the condom that had been in the pocket then slid out onto the ground.
“Ah, I’m so sorry...”
It was the condom that the classmates had shoved into Joo-won’s department jacket earlier.
Looking like a complete idiot, Da-eun kept bowing to Joo-won and clumsily shoved the condom back into his department jacket pocket with trembling hands.
As she practically ran away, handing the heavy jacket back to Joo-won as if it were luggage, he placed it back on her shoulders.
“I told you, you’ll catch a cold.”
She was dying of embarrassment, so why was this jerk still following her!
But Da-eun was drunk and had no energy, and the department jacket worn by a guy over 190cm tall felt as heavy as wet cotton on her shoulders.
Already exhausted, Da-eun gave up on trying to walk fast and resumed her clumsy gait.
“I didn’t buy this. Jang Hyun-soo gave it to me earlier.”
“I know. I heard everything.”
Joo-won explained, holding up the condom that Da-eun had painstakingly put back in his pocket. Da-eun felt her pupils violently shake as she looked at the embarrassing item. It was truly awkward to be talking about such a thing with Yoon Joo-won.
“Yeah.”
Joo-won put the condom back in his pocket at Da-eun’s words, implying that she knew because she had unintentionally eavesdropped.
The usual Da-eun would have just let it go, but the drunk Da-eun couldn’t stop herself from pointing things out.
“But you’re the one who didn’t throw it away and neatly kept it in your pocket.”
At Da-eun’s words, Joo-won narrowed his eyes. For a moment, she felt a slight fear at his suddenly cold gaze, but so what? They had known each other for four years as classmates; couldn’t she say what she wanted?
Yeah. This damn alcohol was the problem. He was going to the army soon anyway, so what could he do? That thought started to bubble up inside her. Over her limit and drunk, Da-eun started to speak without a filter, like the freshman Hwang Da-eun who had air in her lungs before she became the library jjugeuri.
“By the way, you...”
“Yeah.”
Yoon Joo-won replied in a monotone voice. Seeing his seemingly annoyed yet accepting demeanor, she couldn’t help but ask!
“Have you done it?”
Silence followed again. Not hearing an answer made her even more curious. She tilted her head up and studied Yoon Joo-won’s expression. His blank face was enigmatic, so she tilted her head in question, and he met her eyes.
“Are we at a point where we talk about that?”
“Huh? No...”
Then why emphasize their lack of closeness so pointedly?
Da-eun felt embarrassed and turned her head away, pretending to admire the scenery, her gaze fixed on the campus grass she couldn’t even see.
They walked like that for a while longer in silence, when Yoon Joo-won, who had been walking closely beside her, broke the silence and asked,
“What if I have?”
Startled, Da-eun looked up at Joo-won’s face with wide eyes.
Well, yeah. It was ridiculous to think that someone with such a handsome face would still be a virgin.
“Ah, so you have?”
Of course.
She was a little. Just a little disappointed.
It had nothing to do with her, but she had somehow felt a fleeting, slight satisfaction thinking that someone who looked like a character from a youthful romance comic might still be a virgin.
The pride she felt looking at a pure man untainted by the dirty world was a pure emotional state unrelated to romantic feelings between a man and a woman.
As an aesthetics major who worshipped art, admiring a creature of absolute beauty, the golden ratio, a pinnacle of purity, was a perfectly natural instinct.
Eh. So what.
It was all useless.
“......”
“......”
Da-eun cleared her throat at the continued silence.
“Why?”
“Ah, never mind. I just thought... you hadn’t.”
She smiled awkwardly and started walking forward when Yoon Joo-won’s voice followed from high above her head.
“Why are you asking me something like that?”
Well, why did she ask that...
If Lee Su-jin were here, she would have started talking about Freud again, saying that her unconscious desire for sex made her make a slip of the tongue.
Ah, she had been so brainwashed into thinking she was frustrated that Lee Su-jin’s voice was vivid in her ears now.
She was frustrated, that was right. She was twenty-three and hadn’t even held a guy’s hand, so of course she was frustrated.
But if she really had sex, would her frustration disappear, would all her accumulated stress be relieved, and would this weak body of hers become normal?
One curiosity led to another, and with the added intoxication, Da-eun boldly blurted out something she shouldn’t have.
“No, well... if you hadn’t, I was thinking maybe we could try it once before you go to the army...”
“With me?”
“I must be really drunk. I’m saying all sorts of weird things.”
“Why did you think that?”
“Well, the guys said they were going to the club for one-night stands, so...”
“So why with me?”
“Ah, never mind. Why are you asking for a reason?”
Even drunk, Da-eun couldn’t bring herself to say that she didn’t know how to identify virgin men at a club, and she was scared of getting an STD if she slept carelessly with a handsome guy, so her eyes had landed on him, who seemed to meet all the criteria.
She was trying to brush it off and turn away when...
“Do you like me?”
“Are you crazy?”
Da-eun’s expression turned serious at Joo-won’s words. His question about whether she liked him suddenly sobered her up. The sad legend of confessing to a classmate she liked and becoming a laughingstock amidst all sorts of rumors flashed through her mind, making her snap to attention.
The rumors had subsided somewhat when Kim Se-joon went to the army, but he had recently been discharged and was returning to school this semester, making it awkward whenever they ran into each other. The rumors were just starting to fade, and she couldn’t bear to spend her last year on campus being tormented by the terrible rumor of being a ‘classmate killer’ again.
“Why would you ask that if I don’t like you?”
“Ah, never mind. Why are you grilling a drunk person like that? Anyone would think you’re a detective. It’s just drunken rambling, so just go.”
Da-eun scratched her head and smiled foolishly like someone was lacking, handing the department jacket back to Joo-won.
“My place is over there. Just pretend you didn’t hear anything. I’ll go now.”
As Da-eun barely passed through the back gate and was about to turn around, Joo-won lightly grabbed her shoulder from behind.
“I haven’t done it.”
“What?”
“I said, I haven’t done it.”
Da-eun, momentarily speechless, blinked her large eyes. She unconsciously swallowed hard.
Right. We haven’t done it, and you have a condom, and I’m a woman living alone in a studio apartment.
‘I’m so frustrated.’
‘You’ll feel so much better after sleeping with a guy once.’
‘You’ve lived to twenty-three without ever having sex, so it’s no wonder your body isn’t healthy! Humans are just animals. Don’t repress your desires with reason.’
Brainwashing was truly terrifying. Lee Su-jin’s voice, which had somehow taken over Da-eun’s subconscious, egged her on, and Da-eun, who had become timid due to her embarrassment, called upon her past self and returned to being bold.
After all, she had already mustered the courage to try to hook up with anyone at the club. How many times had she returned home on the first bus with nothing to show for it?
If he was handsome, a virgin, and a man with a clear identity who would disappear into the army soon, wouldn’t there be no need to hesitate?
Standing there and hesitating, Da-eun looked up at the much taller Joo-won and parted her lips.
“Do you want to come to my place? I have a few imported beers I bought. Let’s have a second round of drinks together. I’m still a little short on alcohol.”
Joo-won, who had stopped walking abruptly, narrowed his eyes and stared at Da-eun. His heated gaze made her face flush, and just as she was about to turn away awkwardly without waiting for an answer,
“Okay.”
A deep baritone voice, carried on the gentle spring breeze, settled in Da-eun’s ear.
During his free period, he briefly stopped by the department office and heard the ridiculous talk about the guys going to a club for one-night stands before enlisting. They had even thrust condoms at Joo-won, who hadn’t even agreed to go with them, telling him to come and be the eye candy, but Joo-won had just brushed it off.
He detested guys who were loose with their lower bodies, but there was no need to lecture his classmates, who were already depressed about the army issue. Arguing about whether or not to go was also annoying, so he just silently watched them chatter.
But he didn’t know how long she had been there. Hwang Da-eun had emerged from behind the partition. He felt inexplicably annoyed, as if he had been lumped together with those guys.
He wondered if she was sick again today. The way she walked clumsily with a blanket wrapped tightly around her stomach looked pitiful.
Why had she come to the drinking party with such a sick body? Why hadn’t she eaten a single snack and was just sipping soju? He couldn’t take his eyes off Hwang Da-eun’s deeply furrowed brow.
Worried about Da-eun staggering alone, he quietly slipped out of the drinking party. Annoyed by his classmates constantly calling him, asking why he had bailed on the club, Joo-won simply turned off his phone.
He hadn’t thrown away the condoms and had kept them in his pocket because he was embarrassed to throw such a shameful item in the school trash can, and for absolutely no other reason.
‘Have you done it?’
But Joo-won was speechless at Hwang Da-eun’s unexpected question.
Why was she curious about that? Could it be that she liked him? Honestly, the fact that a guy hadn’t dated even at twenty-three was more of a laughingstock than something to be proud of, so he couldn’t readily answer.
But Hwang Da-eun’s next question drove the nail in the coffin.
‘If you haven’t, I was thinking maybe we could try it once before you go to the army...’
If that wasn’t a confession, then what was?
‘Do you like me?’
‘Are you crazy?’
The answer to his subsequent question was lukewarm, but it was an understandable situation for Hwang Da-eun.
Having been ridiculed with all sorts of mocking rumors after confessing to a classmate once, Hwang Da-eun probably couldn’t bring herself to confess her feelings easily.
During their freshman year, he had seen Hwang Da-eun faint during a tug-of-war at the sports festival. He had been curious about what she had done to faint like that, and his gaze had gradually started to follow her.
Watching her from afar since then, he noticed how small she was, barely reaching 160cm, and how fragile her frame looked. With a thin body that probably fluctuated around the low 40kg range, she always had a coffee in hand.
She had an innocent face but always carried a flamboyant tiger-patterned blanket wrapped tightly around her stomach, which seemed out of place with her appearance. At first, he had frowned at her strange fashion sense, but soon he became concerned about how much pain she must be in to carry a blanket even in the summer.
Whenever he saw Hwang Da-eun hurrying with heavy textbooks piled high, he would get anxious, wondering if she would collapse again and they would have to call an ambulance, so he would unknowingly follow her.
And sometime after that, there hadn’t been a day that he hadn’t thought about Hwang Da-eun, who stirred his protective instincts. Yoon Joo-won, the twenty-year-old freshman, had already fallen deeply in love with her, enough to cause him heartache.
‘Ah, that Hwang Da-eun, she cries and clings so much. She cries and acts so over the top about seeing a few movies, it was freaking creepy later on, you know? How can anyone even grab a coffee with a classmate without being scared?’
Then he heard that Hwang Da-eun had confessed to Kim Se-joon. At the time, Joo-won and Kim Se-joon often hung out, and Kim Se-joon also knew that Joo-won had feelings for Da-eun. Coincidentally, a senior girl whom Kim Se-joon liked had confessed to Joo-won, and when Kim Se-joon found out, he spread rumors that Da-eun had confessed to him, as if taking revenge.
‘You guys be careful too. You might get targeted by the classmate killer if you just eat a meal together.’
For a while, Kim Se-joon talked about Da-eun everywhere as if boasting about his exploits, and Joo-won distanced himself from Kim Se-joon in the face of the unwanted rumors.
His heart ached at the crossed paths of their affections, but Joo-won cleanly gave up on Hwang Da-eun. This wasn’t the animal kingdom, and he didn’t want a messy love triangle among classmates. Fortunately, forgetting Hwang Da-eun, with whom he had never even had a proper conversation, wasn’t that difficult. Since there were no shared memories between them, Yoon Joo-won’s youthful first love was quickly forgotten in his memory.
As his male classmates went to the army one by one, Joo-won naturally drifted away from his department classmates and spent more time with the business administration students he double-majored with than with the aesthetics students.
But then, Kim Se-joon, who had been discharged, returned to school this semester, and Hwang Da-eun started to bother him again. He could clearly picture Kim Se-joon, his confidence soaring after his military service, hovering around Hwang Da-eun. As a fellow man, he could easily infer that Kim Se-joon, his body heated from his time in the army, had impure intentions towards Hwang Da-eun, who had once liked him.
He thought he had completely forgotten Hwang Da-eun. But for some reason, he felt uneasy and unknowingly found himself near her, frequenting the department office.
‘Why would you ask that if I don’t like you?’
‘Ah, never mind. Why are you grilling a drunk person like that? Anyone would think you’re a detective. It’s just drunken rambling, so just go.’
Watching Da-eun blush and stammer, Joo-won was certain. After the bitter taste of the rumors, she had loathed campus couples so much that she had gritted her teeth at the thought, and he hadn’t dared to approach her. But Da-eun’s actions had suddenly brought back the memories of his first love that he had buried.
‘Do you want to come to my place? I have a few imported beers I bought. Let’s have a second round of drinks together. I’m still a little short on alcohol.’
And with the thoughts that followed, Joo-won couldn’t help but follow her.
Had she taken Kim Se-joon to her place for beer too? A horny Kim Se-joon wouldn’t have refused Hwang Da-eun’s offer.
He didn’t really want to drink beer, but the logic that if he didn’t follow Hwang Da-eun now, she might call another classmate, who was also thirsty for alcohol, followed.
Emotions he had buried in his memories a long time ago were summoned by the alcohol. Today, the pale Hwang Da-eun looked exceptionally beautiful.
He wondered what had happened to the innocent Hwang Da-eun in the meantime. He was displeased by her bold suggestion, but he couldn’t stop thinking about Kim Se-joon, who wasn’t even there.
“What do you want to drink?”
Da-eun asked Joo-won, holding up a plastic bag containing six cans of imported beer of various kinds, as if this happened often.
“Give me anything.”
His purpose wasn’t beer in the first place, so it didn’t matter what he drank.
Joo-won stood rooted in front of the entrance, looking around like a search dog, trying to find traces of a man, specifically traces of Kim Se-joon, in Da-eun’s studio apartment.
But there were no obvious signs of a man in Da-eun’s well-organized one-room apartment.
Crazy bastard.
Why was he even thinking about traces of a man when it came to Hwang Da-eun?
It wasn’t Hwang Da-eun who needed alcohol, it was Yoon Joo-won himself.
“Shall we watch a movie?”
Even though they were classmates, they had never really met and talked alone, unless it was with a group. Da-eun turned on a video streaming service channel, perhaps because the silence was awkward.
Da-eun also couldn’t settle down and stood in front of the TV, wrestling with the remote control.
“Do you often drink at your place with classmates?”
At Joo-won’s question, Da-eun finally met his gaze. Unlike her bold demeanor when she had dragged Joo-won to her studio, her eyes were now moist.
“Ah, no. I haven’t brought anyone here except Lee Su-jin. You’re the first guy. This is a women-only studio apartment. Men aren’t allowed in originally.”
The first.
At Hwang Da-eun’s word ‘first’, he felt the thread of reason he had barely been holding onto snap.
“This isn’t working...”
Perhaps sensing the change in Joo-won’s expression, Da-eun looked awkwardly at the streaming service announcement screen saying that her one-month free trial had ended. Joo-won moved closer to her.
“I know what you meant and followed you here, so there’s no need to waste time watching a movie that won’t even catch our eyes.”
He had acted brazenly, asking if she had ever done it, pulling her into his room saying they should watch a movie, but now he looked embarrassed.
However, Joo-won liked her shy look. At least it was proof that he wasn’t the only one feeling excited in this moment, which pleased him.
Joo-won strode towards Da-eun. In the cramped studio apartment, he pressed his body close to hers.
Joo-won grabbed Da-eun’s waist and slowly brought his lips to hers.
His heart felt like it would burst.
Da-eun closed her eyes beautifully. Her pure appearance made him lose his senses.
Their mucous membranes barely touched and parted, yet his breathing quickened and his head felt numb.
Since walking side by side with Da-eun on campus, his lower body had been acting strangely, already throbbing and crumpled inside his drawers, anticipating release.
“Ah, it hurts...”
“Is something else wrong?”
Hearing Da-eun say it hurt made his heart sink.
“No. You’re pressing too hard, I can’t breathe...”
Only then did Joo-won realize his lower body was pressing against Da-eun’s stomach. His cock, erect in his slacks, seemed to be pressing against her, given her small height.
“Sorry.”
“It’s too hard...”
The height difference made the position awkward. Looking into her eyes meant bending over a lot, and pressing their lower bodies together meant they couldn’t meet eyes.
Unable to find a comfortable position, Joo-won simply lifted Da-eun like a bride and laid her on the bed.
And why was she so light? Being under 160cm tall made her cute, but seeing Da-eun struggling with her small body also made him feel sorry for her.
Her petite frame, which stirred his protective instincts, was the reason Joo-won couldn’t take his eyes off Da-eun.
“I like hearing that I’m your first.”
At Joo-won’s trembling breath, Da-eun smiled and nodded. Her smile made his heart melt. It was clear that Da-eun, who had always drawn a line and created an impenetrable wall, not even allowing him to get close, had opened her heart.
His hands trembled, which was unlike him. Yoon Joo-won had never felt this way while doing anything before, but in front of Hwang Da-eun lying on the bed, his heart, hands, and even his vision shook.
He slipped his hand inside Da-eun’s hoodie. When his hand touched her cold stomach, she flinched and curled up.
“Uh!”
“Why?”
“It’s awkward...”
Was he the first man to come to her place, just as he was the first man to hold Hwang Da-eun? He hoped this moment was her first too, just like him. But he couldn’t just ask a girl something like that.
Her awkwardness made it seem like it was her first time, but the way she boldly brought him home made it seem like she had experience.
No, what did it matter? The fact that he and Hwang Da-eun finally connected was more important.
The thought that Da-eun might have done such intimate things with other men made him feel slightly unpleasant, but the moment he saw her bare skin, all other thoughts vanished.
Joo-won quickly pulled off Da-eun’s hoodie. Her skin, untouched by sunlight, was even whiter than her pale face.
The soft, smooth feel of her skin against his fingertips felt unreal. He caressed her skin without realizing it.
And then her breasts. Seeing a woman’s breasts for the first time, Joo-won was speechless.
How could such large breasts be hidden in such a small body? Every time she inhaled and her chest rose, her full breasts shook beautifully like firm pudding.
With a nervous hand, Joo-won caressed Da-eun’s cleavage. The unbelievable soft sensation sent a heavy ache from his cock.
“I didn’t know you could be this sexy.”
“Take it off for me.”
Da-eun’s voice made his head spin. If she looked this breathtaking with her bra on, what would it be like if she took it off...?
Witnessing his heart pounding as if it would burst, Joo-won reached behind Da-eun.
“Ha, shit.”
A curse escaped him involuntarily.
“You...!”
“Shh.”
He tried to soothe the surprised Da-eun by casually kissing her lips, and she soon closed her eyes shyly.
How could someone be so small? Her petite frame, fitting perfectly in his arms, was unbelievably cute, and he couldn’t help but smile.
How on earth do you take off a bra? His clumsy fumbling missed the clasp three times. Unable to unhook the bra, Joo-won turned Da-eun, who was lying straight, onto her side to see clearly and used both hands to undo the hook.
He didn’t want to look inexperienced in front of the girl he liked, but since he had never done it before, everything felt clumsy.
He barely managed to compose himself from the embarrassment. When Da-eun, who had taken off her bra and turned back to lie on her back, came into view, Joo-won instinctively buried his face in her chest.
Her soft breasts were crushed gently in his palms. The adorable nipples, forming a smooth curve above her pink areolas, were so beautiful that he couldn’t help but bring his lips to them.
As he showered soft, smacking kisses, her spread-out nipples hardened and stood erect. The sight was unbearably erotic, and he flicked and licked her nipples with his tongue.
“Hnng, uhn... Ah, Joo-won-ah, it feels so good...”
“You like it?”
“Mmm...”
He felt relieved at Da-eun’s moaning response. He had been worried that his inexperience might make it uninteresting for her, but just sucking on her breasts was already making her tremble sensually.
His excitement surged in front of the honest Hwang Da-eun. He wanted to ejaculate right away, but fearing she would find it boring and turn away, he suppressed his lust and slowly savored Da-eun.
Putting her pointed nipple in his mouth and sucking, the bumpy texture rolling over his tongue felt incredibly delicious. The more he teased her nipple with his tongue and sucked, the more Da-eun, her eyes unfocused, flailed her limbs.
Joo-won slowly pulled his mouth away from Da-eun’s chest. The thick saliva connecting their lips was erotic. Her pink areolas glistened with his spit. Unlike before, her hardened nipples were so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off them.
“Why are your breasts so hot?”
“Your way of talking is kind of...”
“You don’t like it?”
“No, it’s sexy.”
“You’re sexier.”
“You take yours off too, Joo-won-ah...”
Da-eun said to Joo-won with flushed cheeks. As soon as Da-eun finished speaking, Joo-won threw off his white knit shirt.
His broad shoulders, a result of his tall height and natural build, were revealed. The ideal muscles, naturally formed from his love of exercise, rippled every time he moved.
Above his well-toned body, devoid of any fat, his attractive neckline and alluring collarbones stood out. Da-eun fixed her gaze on his Adam’s apple, which moved deeply every time he spoke.
“Your body... it’s no joke...”
Da-eun admired Joo-won’s bare upper body as if it were a work of art. She reached out and caressed his firm pectoral muscles, indulging in the sight of his nakedness.
“I’ve never seen someone with such perfect symmetry... It’s fascinating.”
“I know what you meant and followed you here, so there’s no need to waste time watching a movie that won’t even catch our eyes.”
He had been so bold, asking if she had ever done it, dragging her to his room to watch a movie, but now he looked embarrassed.
However, Joo-won liked her shy demeanor. At least, it was proof that he wasn’t the only one feeling excited in this moment, which pleased him.
Joo-won strode towards Da-eun. In the cramped studio apartment, he pressed his body close to hers.
He pulled Da-eun’s waist and slowly brought his lips to hers.
His heart felt like it would burst.
Da-eun closed her eyes beautifully. Her pure appearance made his head spin.
Their mucous membranes barely touched and parted, yet his breathing quickened and his head felt numb.
Ever since he walked alongside Da-eun on campus, his lower body had been acting strangely, already stiff and throbbing inside his drawers.
“Ah, it hurts...”
“Are you feeling unwell again?”
Da-eun’s words made his heart sink.
“No. I can’t breathe because you’re pressing too hard...”
Only then did Joo-won realize that his lower body was pressing down on Da-eun’s stomach. His erect cock, jutting out in front of the petite Da-eun, seemed to be pressing against her through his slacks.
“Sorry.”
“It’s too hard...”
The height difference made their position awkward. To make eye contact, he had to bend over significantly, and when their lower bodies were touching, they couldn’t see each other’s eyes.
Unable to find a comfortable position, Joo-won simply lifted Da-eun like a bride and laid her down on the bed.
And why was she so light? Her height, less than 160cm, was cute, but it also made him feel sorry for Da-eun, struggling with her small frame.
Her petite size, which evoked his protective instincts, was the very reason Joo-won couldn’t take his eyes off her.
“I like hearing that I’m your first.”
Da-eun smiled and nodded at Joo-won’s trembling breath. Her smile made his heart melt. It was clear that Da-eun, who had always drawn a line and built a wall that no one could approach, had opened her heart to him.
His hands were shaking, which was unlike him. Yoon Joo-won had never felt this nervous doing anything before, but with Hwang Da-eun lying on the bed in front of him, his heart, hands, and even his vision trembled.
He slipped his hand inside Da-eun’s hoodie. When his hand touched her cold stomach, she flinched and curled up.
“Uh!”
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s awkward...”
Just as he was the first man in her studio, was he also the first man to hold Hwang Da-eun? He hoped this moment was her first, just like it was for him. But he couldn’t just ask a woman something like that.
Her awkwardness made it seem like it was her first time, but the boldness of bringing him home made it seem like she had experience.
No, what did it matter? The fact that he and Hwang Da-eun had finally connected was more important.
The thought that Da-eun might have done such intimate things with other men made him slightly uncomfortable, but the moment he saw her bare skin, all other thoughts vanished.
Joo-won quickly pulled off Da-eun’s hoodie. Her skin, untouched by sunlight, was even whiter than her pale face.
The soft, smooth feel of her skin against his fingertips felt unreal. He caressed her skin without realizing it.
And then, her breasts. Seeing a woman’s breasts for the first time, Joo-won was speechless.
How could such large breasts be hidden in her small frame? Every time she inhaled and her chest rose, her full breasts jiggled beautifully like firm pudding.
With a trembling hand, Joo-won caressed Da-eun’s cleavage. The unbelievably soft sensation sent a heavy ache from his cock.
“I never knew you could be this sexy.”
“Take it off for me.”
Da-eun’s voice made his head spin. If she looked this breathtaking with her bra on, what would it be like if she took it off...?
Witnessing his own pounding heart, Joo-won reached behind Da-eun.
“Ha, damn.”
A curse escaped his lips involuntarily.
“You...!”
“Shh.”
He tried to calm the startled Da-eun by casually kissing her lips, and she soon closed her eyes shyly.
How could someone be this small? Her petite frame, fitting perfectly in his arms, was unbelievably cute, and he couldn’t help but smile.
How on earth do you take off a bra? His clumsy fumbling caused his fingers to slip three times. Unable to unhook the bra, Joo-won turned Da-eun, who was lying straight, onto her side and used both hands to unfasten the hook while looking directly at it.
He didn’t want to appear inexperienced in front of the woman he liked, but since he had never done it before, everything felt awkward.
His embarrassment was short-lived. The moment he saw Da-eun’s breasts after she took off her bra and lay back down, Joo-won instinctively buried his face in them.
Her soft breasts were crushed gently in his palms. The adorable nipples, forming a smooth curve above the pink areola, were so beautiful that he couldn’t help but bring his lips to them.
He showered soft, smacking kisses, and the previously flattened nipples hardened and stood erect. The sight was unbearably sexy, and he licked and flicked his tongue over her nipples.
“Hng, uhn... Ah, Joo-won-ah, it feels so good...”
“You like it?”
“Mmm...”
He felt relieved at Da-eun’s moaning response. He had been worried that his inexperience would make it unpleasant for her, but just sucking on her breasts already made her tremble sensually.
His excitement surged in front of the honest Hwang Da-eun. He wanted to ejaculate right away, but fearing she would find it boring and turn away, he suppressed his desire and slowly savored Da-eun.
He put a pointed nipple in his mouth and sucked, the bumpy texture of the areola rolling on his tongue felt incredibly delicious. The more he sucked on her breast, teasing her nipple with his tongue, the more Da-eun, her eyes unfocused, flailed her limbs.
Joo-won slowly pulled his lips away from Da-eun’s breast. The thick saliva connecting their lips was sensual. Her pink areola glistened with his spit. Unlike before, her erect nipples were so beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes off them.
“Why are your breasts so hot?”
“Your manner of speaking is very...”
“You don’t like it?”
“No, it’s sexy.”
“You’re sexier.”
“Take your clothes off too, Joo-won-ah...”
Da-eun said to Joo-won with flushed cheeks. As soon as Da-eun finished speaking, Joo-won threw off his white knit shirt.
His broad shoulders, a result of his tall height and natural build, were revealed. The ideal muscles, naturally formed from his love of exercise, rippled every time he moved.
Above his well-toned body, devoid of any fat, his attractive neckline and alluring collarbones were noticeable. Da-eun fixed her gaze on his Adam’s apple, which moved deeply every time he spoke.
“Your body... it’s no joke...”
Da-eun admired Joo-won’s bare upper body as if it were a work of art. She reached out and caressed his firm pectoral muscles, indulging in the sight of his naked form.
“I’ve never seen anyone with such perfect symmetry... It’s amazing.”
Even as she blushed with embarrassment, her curiosity didn’t fade, and it was Joo-won who grew impatient.
“Should I take off my pants too?”
“Mmm...”
Without hesitation, Joo-won tossed his pants aside. His legs, unusually long even for his tall height, stretched out straight without any bowing. Perhaps due to his love for soccer, his thighs were firm and muscular, but thanks to his long legs, his proportions were pleasing to the eye.
“You know, why are a guy’s legs so pretty...?”
Da-eun’s compliment made him feel good. Soon, he felt embarrassed by the small, round stain of pre-cum on the upper part of his briefs and quickly took them off as well.
However, instead of the compliment he had expected, Da-eun fell silent and stared at him with a terrified expression, as if she had seen a ghost.
Joo-won held his magnificent cock in his hand and wiped away the dripping pre-cum from the tip, not wanting to show it.
“Why aren’t you saying anything? What do you think of my cock?”
“...Huh?”
Seeing Da-eun, who had been admiring his naked body the whole time, unable to speak made him feel slightly uneasy.
“Why? What is it?”
“Can I be honest?”
Did the pinkish hue make it seem like he had less male hormones? Did the way he was already leaking pre-cum before even trying to penetrate make him seem inexperienced? Did Da-eun have a particular preference for penises?
“Tell me quickly.”
While Joo-won anxiously watched Da-eun’s lips, she carefully opened them.
“I thought it was the golden ratio walking...”
“You don’t like it?”
“But it’s so big... The proportions are a bit off.”
Joo-won’s cock, unusually large even compared to his towering height of over 190cm, bobbed above his navel.
Even without that, his torso was short, and his navel was quite high, but his erection asserted its presence, swelling greedily up to his navel.
“You prefer smaller ones?”
“No, just the right size. The golden ratio looks the best, after all.”
At Da-eun’s continued assessment, Joo-won looked down at his cock. He had been teased by his male classmates for having a big cock while still being a virgin, but this was the first time someone said it broke the golden ratio because it was too big.
“What’s the right size?”
“It’s so big that I can’t see anything else, only that. It’s too much. It’s like a perfect model wearing such a huge diamond that everything else is overshadowed.”
Comparing his cock to a diamond didn’t exactly sound like a negative review.
“The bigger the diamond, the better, right?”
“No. That’s just vulgar capitalism. Up to a certain point, the bigger it is, the more beautiful, but once it exceeds that limit, the more the elegance disappears.”
“Why are you looking for elegance in a cock?”
“Because it’s better if it’s beautiful, if possible.”
“When it’s not erect, it’s the golden ratio.”
“Really? Show me.”
Da-eun, like a student exploring aesthetics, asked Joo-won with pure curiosity.
“How can it not be hard when you’re looking at it?”
“Try to make it go down.”
“It’ll probably go down after you cum.”
“Really?”
Joo-won nodded and grabbed Da-eun’s pants.
“Now it’s your turn to show me.”
“Ah, I’m a bit embarrassed...”
“You had no problem critiquing my cock, so why? Don’t you want to show me?”
“No, it’s just that my body isn’t as pretty as yours...”
Not pretty?
Her pure yet cute face, her petite frame, and her excessively large breasts were all so devastatingly beautiful.
“You know the golden ratio talk is bullshit anyway. Take them off, quickly.”
“Then look at it from a modern aesthetic perspective, not a classical one. The symmetry is a bit uneven.”
“I’ll think of it as a Picasso painting.”
“No, rather than Picasso... Basquiat would be better. There’s also quite a bit of pubic hair...”
“Whatever. Just take them off already.”
Joo-won was dumbfounded by Hwang Da-eun, who even elevated dirty talk to art, but that very quirkiness was her unique charm that he couldn’t escape.
Da-eun awkwardly took off her pants. Her white bra and mismatched pink panties were charming in their unexpectedness.
Clearly, Hwang Da-eun was concerned about other people’s symmetry but didn’t care at all about her own.
This must be Hwang Da-eun’s confidence. Her honest demeanor, just like bringing Joo-won to her bed.
“Let me take them off for you.”
“Will you?”
Joo-won brushed aside Da-eun’s hand as she tried to pull down her panties and grabbed them himself. He couldn’t miss the moment of taking off Hwang Da-eun’s panties for the first time.
Even her pink, slightly ripped seamless panties looked sexy. Yoon Joo-won must have gone crazy, but he didn’t care. What mattered wasn’t what she was wearing, but Hwang Da-eun’s naked body underneath.
Joo-won slowly lowered Da-eun’s panties. His heart, which had barely begun to calm down, started pounding again as if it would explode.
The moment her panties reached her thighs and he saw her jet-black pubic hair, the string of his reason snapped.
Without realizing it, he buried his nose and inhaled deeply. The scent of a woman, which he was experiencing for the first time, made his mouth water like a dog’s.
“Hey, why, why are you smelling me...?”
As Da-eun flusteredly drew her legs together, Joo-won grabbed her thighs and spread her closed legs wide open.
“Damn it. I can’t control myself. Just stay still.”
Joo-won muttered a curse under his breath and licked her labia with his tongue. The saliva that had pooled in his mouth thoroughly wet her vulva. Joo-won spread Da-eun’s labia majora wide and admired her neatly budding labia minora.
“Beautiful...”
That was all he could say. With Hwang Da-eun in front of him, there were no other adjectives to describe her.
As an aesthetics major, he hadn’t been particularly interested in academics. Joo-won had never felt any emotion even while looking at numerous works of art.
But Hwang Da-eun’s genitals...
They were breathtakingly beautiful.
The moist mucous membranes, glistening with his saliva, were radiant. He was curious about the feel of her soft skin, which aroused an urge to touch it immediately.
On the right labium minus, slightly wider than the left, he could momentarily see a pulse throbbing. The left was dainty, and the right was lewd. Looking at the left made him want to see the right, and looking at the right made him want to see the left. If they had been perfectly symmetrical, they probably wouldn’t have been this arousing.
He literally wanted to capture her entire body in his eyes, to the point where his eyes were spinning. The raw, vivid female genitalia were so sublime that they were almost overwhelming.
The color of her labia, which he had expected to be pink like her areola, was seductively red. The way they were swollen and red, like the genitalia of an animal in heat seen in a wildlife documentary, drove him crazy.
Her luscious, bright red vagina, which made him want to thrust into her violently, was so tempting that Joo-won buried his lips in her perineum.
“Hah, uhn, th-this is strange...”
“Beautiful. Sexy. Delicious. Hwang Da-eun.”
“Hey, hey, don’t say things like that.”
“Is your tongue only for licking?”
“Huh?”
“Shut up and lick me?”
Joo-won firmly held down Da-eun’s wriggling thighs and began to thoroughly suck on her nether regions.
“No, hng!”
Slurp, tsk. The more he sucked, the more her love juice flowed, and her labia became slick with moisture. The sweet and sour taste of her fluids was addictive, and Joo-won licked around, delving into the wet opening.
“Hot, ah, it hurts! Stop!”
Joo-won, who had gently inserted the tip of his tongue into her vagina, pulled his face away from her vulva at Da-eun’s screaming reaction.
Just the slight insertion of his soft tongue had made her cry out in pain like this, and suddenly, a chill ran down his spine as he wondered if his cock would even be able to enter.
He was already worried about Da-eun, who seemed frail every day. What if she fainted during sex...?
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“Ugh, uh-huh.”
“Then should we just stick to licking today?”
Joo-won wiped his lips with the back of his hand, suppressing his disappointment. He wanted to ejaculate right away, but just hearing Da-eun say she was in pain always made his heart ache.
“Ah, no. I don’t want to. Do it.”
It was a relieving answer, but he still couldn’t shake his worry. Joo-won looked at her expression again and asked,
“Then I’m grateful. What about you? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, do it... I want to. I’ve wanted to try.”
I want to too, Hwang Da-eun.
I’ve wanted to try it with you too, Hwang Da-eun.
Confirming that their feelings were mutual, Joo-won buried his face in her lower region again.
He gently licked Da-eun’s genitals. He sucked and kissed her center until his lips were swollen, his tongue was numb, and Da-eun’s core naturally opened and contracted repeatedly.
“Hng, uhn, f-faster...”
“No. It’s not open enough yet. Look. Even my finger barely fits.”
“Haaah!”
As he gently pushed his middle finger into her slightly parted vagina, Da-eun cried out and lifted her hips.
He couldn’t take his eyes off Da-eun’s figure as she moved her body wondrously on her own. With Joo-won’s finger inserted in her vagina, Da-eun lifted and lowered her hips, sucking and releasing his finger.
“Ha, damn it. Stay still. What if you scratch yourself with your nails?”
“Hng, faster, please...”
Joo-won held Da-eun’s groin and inserted another finger. She had tightly swallowed two fingers, yet she was still demanding more, acting spoiled.
Joo-won quickly fingered Da-eun’s inside. Her sticky inner flesh gripped his fingers as if chewing on them.
Just the feeling of his fingers made his soul feel like it was leaving his body. What would it be like to plunge his cock into that hot flesh...?
Haaah... He was already breathless and his breathing was rapid.
Drip, drip.
That was when it happened. As he rapidly thrust inside her, a stream of liquid spurted from her core.
“Da-eun-ah...”
He stared blankly at the shocking sight of her love juice forming a fountain, while Da-eun let out a cry close to a scream and thrashed.
“Hng, fa, haa, faster...”
Da-eun reached out with both hands and pulled Joo-won closer. Joo-won could no longer hold back and laid his body over hers.
He urgently pressed his cock between Da-eun’s legs. Even though it was just his genitals touching her from the outside, the surging lust made his pre-cum leak out little by little.
“Hoo...”
He couldn’t become the kind of guy who couldn’t control his ejaculation on his first time, so he barely suppressed his desire and lifted himself up.
“Why, why are you doing that...?”
Da-eun, looking even more urgent, grabbed his shoulders and asked.
“Condom.”
“Huh?”
“Wait a moment. I have a condom in my jacket.”
Joo-won hurriedly got off the bed and rummaged through the pocket of his university jacket hanging on the chair in front of the desk.
He never thought he would use this. He should at least thank Jang Hyun-gyu for giving him the condom.
Joo-won tore open the condom wrapper with his teeth, returned to the bed, squeezed the air out, and rolled it onto his cock.
“Ha, this is driving me crazy.”
How small is Jang Hyun-gyu’s dick?
If you’re going to give something, give a decent size.
Despairing at the small condom size that wouldn’t even go past the head, he failed to put it on several times. His massive cock, incomparably larger than the Korean average, kept slipping off the condom as if it would break.
“See? I told you it’s too big...”
Da-eun blamed Joo-won’s large size as if scolding him.
Haa. He wanted to do it without a condom, but he was worried that the already weak girl might get hurt because of him, so he took a deep breath again and carefully put on the condom.
He barely managed to put on the small condom, but it felt like torture. It looked ridiculous, like an adult forcibly squeezing into baby clothes. His heavy cock felt tightly constricted, as if the blood flow was being cut off.
Just as he was starting to worry if his genitals might necrotize due to circulatory problems, Da-eun spread her vaginal lips with her hands and said,
“Maybe it’ll go in if I do this...?”
“Damn it, this is driving me crazy.”
He felt like he would ejaculate just lying still, and the sight of her seductively spreading her vaginal lips made his patience disappear.
Joo-won aligned the head of his cock with Da-eun’s open hole and kissed her lips.
“I’m going to put it in, so tell me if it hurts.”
“It hurts.”
“I haven’t even put it in yet.”
“It hurts just from touching.”
And for good reason. Trying to insert this hard thing into her narrow, delicate flesh was absurd from the start.
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“Ugh, uh-huh.”
“Hoo... Let’s just bear with it for a little while.”
“‘Bear with it’? I’m the one bearing it, not you.”
“It’s okay. Shh. Let’s just bear with it a little longer.”
Joo-won forced the head of his cock towards her slick, softened vagina. Da-eun, who was spreading her lower region with her hands, arched her head back and frantically hit his shoulders even as his cock just touched the entrance.
“It’s too, hng, painful!”
“Haa. This feels unbelievably good, Da-eun-ah.”
But having already tasted Da-eun’s inside, there was no turning back. Joo-won stroked Da-eun’s hair, soothing and comforting her with gentle pats as he slowly entered her.
“Hng, ahn, ugh.”
“Hoo...”
“Hey, Yoon, Joo-won!”
“Shh.”
“Hng, you said to tell you if it hurt...”
Joo-won savored the feeling of their intertwined skin, gently moving his hips.
“Yeah. Tell me.”
“Hng, I, I already told you.”
“Yeah, you’re doing great. Just bear with it a little longer.”
Of course, he understood that she wanted him to stop, but his body wouldn’t listen. Joo-won ignored Da-eun’s pleas and thrust his cock deeply upwards.
Thwack!
“Haaht, eugh, ahh!”
With his manhood deeply buried inside Da-eun’s core, he met her eyes. Da-eun, who had been shaking her head, suddenly went limp, and her inner walls began a violent peristaltic motion.
Looking down at his cock being chewed by her vagina, Joo-won began to thrust his hips like a dog in heat.
“Hng, haaht, eugh!”
The overwhelming pleasure made his mind reel. Was sex this good? He felt like he might faint from the intoxication of this first physical act.
“Da-eun-ah, this really feels unbelievably good.”
“Hng, me too, it hurts, but it’s so, haaht, so good...”
He wanted to hold Da-eun in his arms like this and bury himself in eternity.
“Haaht, Ju, Joo-won-ah, let’s rest for a moment...”
He hadn’t even moved his cock, still inside her, back and forth a few times, but Da-eun was already panting heavily, clinging to him as if exhausted.
“Hoo, already?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it that hard?”
“Uhn...”
“We haven’t even really started yet.”
“Just a moment... just a moment to rest. Okay?”
Reason and instinct began to battle in his mind. The desire to spend the night roaming within her sticky flesh clashed fiercely with the thought of listening to Da-eun’s request for a break.
“Hng, ah, haaht!”
And then, seeing Da-eun’s eyes moisten again as she fell into another orgasm, Joo-won decided to listen to her. Seeing Da-eun in tears, he couldn’t bring himself to selfishly indulge his desires like a mindless beast.
The night was still young. There was plenty of time to slowly melt her body.
Thwack!
He plunged deep into Da-eun’s core and poured out his semen in gushes. The feeling of ejaculating inside a woman’s vagina for the first time was so dizzying that he couldn’t say a word.
“Hiss. Kuh.”
He simply kissed Da-eun’s lips. He wanted to stay inside her like that, but worried that the already tight condom might tear, he slowly withdrew his cock. Even after ejaculating, his stiff cock twitched. As Joo-won pulled out the condom, the veins on his red, swollen shaft pulsed.
“What... it didn’t die even after cumming.”
Da-eun, finally seeming to catch her breath, still stared at his erect cock with a curious expression.
“Right? I feel like I could come again right away.”
“I want to see the golden ratio.”
“It doesn’t look like it’s going down right now though.”
At Joo-won’s words, Da-eun stretched languidly and smiled.
“Joo-won-ah. That was really good.”
“Just wait a moment. I’ll be right back, there’s a convenience store in front.”
“Why a convenience store?”
“We only had one condom. We used it all.”
At Joo-won’s words, Da-eun looked utterly dumbfounded and sat up.
“Ah, no way!”
“Why? I’ll be right back.”
Grabbing Joo-won as he tried to get up, Da-eun added her explanation in a panic.
“No way. Ji-young unnie works the graveyard shift at that convenience store.”
“So what?”
“Rumors will spread. If you buy condoms at this hour, she’ll obviously see where you’re going.”
“Then I’ll go to another convenience store.”
“No way.”
“Why?”
“If you keep coming in and out of my place, the others will gossip. And you’re so noticeable that even if you buy them somewhere else, rumors will spread.”
“So?”
“Huh?”
“So what are we going to do?”
“No, we already did it...”
Looking at Da-eun muttering that she couldn’t do more because it hurt, Joo-won furrowed his brow deeply. He couldn’t just leave Da-eun, who was in pain, and rush out to buy condoms.
“Haa, then you should have said something earlier. I could have held back.”
“Held back what?”
But he couldn’t end it like this. He hadn’t even properly enjoyed himself yet, but Da-eun was already yawning widely like someone who had seen it all and turned her back to him. Da-eun’s upturned lips were somehow annoying, and he was left alone feeling frustrated.
“Da-eun-ah.”
“Uhn?”
Da-eun, who had already experienced several orgasms in less than a minute of penetration, seemed tired and barely lifted her heavy eyelids to give a perfunctory answer.
“Can I rub against you?”
“Rub what?”
“Just my cock against your pussy. On the outside.”
“No. It stings.”
Her vagina, which had already accommodated his cock once, was swollen. Seeing her condition, Joo-won also felt guilty about rubbing his cock against her.
“Then can I lick you down there?”
“We don’t have a condom.”
“I’ll just use my mouth.”
Da-eun hesitated for a moment, then, as if overcome by sleepiness and annoyance, spread her legs for him.
“This is a pain.”
“You just sleep. I’ll take care of it.”
“Okay.”
Joo-won lay down with his head resting on Da-eun’s thigh. It wasn’t easy to contort his body on her narrow single bed.
But the moment he buried his face in Da-eun’s vulva again, his dissatisfaction vanished without a trace.
Just holding and sucking on her genitals like this made him so happy that his chest swelled.
They had plenty of time ahead of them. There was no need to push Da-eun, who was in pain, today.
Joo-won held his cock and licked Da-eun’s lower region. Da-eun, who had already fallen asleep, whimpered and let out sensual moans in her sleep at Joo-won’s caresses, and Joo-won licked her genitals, stroking his cock until morning.
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