CM - 38

Zhou Xiyou sat swinging on a swing chair, her mind in disarray.

Tang Jun’en came over and replaced all the food in her refrigerator, throwing away anything expired. Seeing her looking distracted, he walked over and touched her forehead. Thankfully, she wasn’t feverish.

Zhou Xiyou looked up at him: “Uncle, my dad has been gone for three months. Has he abandoned me?”

Tang Jun’en sat down: “Your dad only has one daughter. How could he abandon you?”

“But I’m going to die. He’ll soon have no daughter,” Zhou Xiyou said.

Tang Jun’en stroked her hair: “Youyou, we’re sick, but it’s not a terminal illness. It can be treated.”

Zhou Xiyou was old enough; how could she be so easily fooled like when she was a child? “Do you know why I like Shen Tingwen?”

Tang Jun’en glanced at him: “Isn’t it because that boy is handsome? He takes after his dad, with a pretty face, going around deceiving young girls.”

Zhou Xiyou shook her head: “For families like ours, love is never everything. We were taught from a young age that there are more important things to do in life. Ordinary people might have a lavish Western meal for their birthday, or buy a phone, or a computer. Our birthday gifts might be a house, a car, a certain percentage of shares in our family’s companies, or a ticket to a high-end event that’s impossible to get.

“After we graduate, we’ll pursue further studies at more prestigious schools, or enter the family business. While others are considering whether to pursue graduate studies, get a job, or start a business, we already possess the ability to compete in the business world.

“School can only change the fate of a few people. More often, school is just a platform for everyone to meet briefly. When the music stops, everyone returns to their respective social strata, and their lives won’t be much different.

“Because I clearly understood the trajectory of my life, I knew from a very young age that if I were to choose someone to like, I’d pick the best. The best person would only add icing to the cake of my life, and we could even create greater value together. This is the ingrained philosophy I’ve had since childhood, as the daughter of a certain enterprise. I might be temporarily attracted to something new, but I will never get lost because of this novelty.”

Tang Jun’en listened, not surprised by her insight.

Many years ago, when he was her age, he was even clearer about what he should be doing.

Zhou Xiyou continued: “I thought people like us were all pretty similar, and indeed that’s true. My friends, no matter how rebellious they might be, are all more astute than others, knowing how to achieve the greatest success with the least effort.

“Shen Tingwen is a typical example. His conditions are too good. Among everyone I know, he’s the one who’s flawless from birth to upbringing.

“I confessed to him, and he rejected me. For me, although it was sad, I would definitely cut my losses in time. Yesterday, I was joking with someone, and he called me his girlfriend. My heart fluttered for a moment. At the time, I didn’t think much of it, just felt it might be the novelty. The novelty made me react a little. And I’m very clear-headed; I know novelty doesn’t count for anything; it will quickly disappear and will absolutely not affect me.

“But when I got home, I clearly felt that it was a feeling I knew would end in tragedy, but still wanted to try. This is vastly different from our rational personalities.

“So, Uncle, I know I won’t live much longer, but I still want to try. Is this right? This isn’t like me; I shouldn’t be like this.”

Tang Jun’en understood: “Your upbringing makes you more perceptive than others, so why are you still bound by these so-called ‘shoulds’? Cultivating your forward-thinking mindset is to make you different from ordinary people. If you still force yourself because of ‘what you should do and shouldn’t do,’ then how can you say you have different growth experiences than others? Wouldn’t the family’s efforts to nurture you be in vain?”

Zhou Xiyou paused slightly.

Tang Jun’en said to her: “Youyou, do you know why you and Shen Tingwen grew up together, had similar growth trajectories, and received similar resources from your families, yet he far surpasses you in both academic performance and social skills?”

Zhou Xiyou shook her head.

Tang Jun’en said: “It’s because you’re not free. Don’t think about ‘shoulds.’ Think about whether you’re willing or not. You’ll see a different landscape.”

Zhou Xiyou had a strong capacity for understanding. She understood Tang Jun’en’s words and began to consider Li Gun’s statement.

He liked Zhao Guqing, she liked Shen Tingwen, and they both loved unrequitedly. Anyway, they wouldn’t be better off if they weren’t together, so why not try being together?