04. Remnants of Emotion

Clunk, clunk. The welfare center, a little ways from Seoul, was in a village that required driving on an unpaved road to reach. While riding the express bus, Yeon only stared at the yellow fields stretching out the window.

Her head was a mess. That day at the oriental medicine clinic, she’d caught a fleeting scent of freesia from the woman. They said she was a respectable doctor, so anyone could see that she, not Yeon, was the man’s destined partner.

Yes, a mere love couldn’t fill a man’s authority. The man had too much to give up to have only love. An oriental medicine doctor with a hospital director’s son-in-law title and a doctor wife. He couldn’t have rejected such impressive titles.

“...Hoo.”

Each time the bus bumped over the dirt road, her head knocked against the windowpane.

The members had coaxed Yeon, who insisted on not going, as if she were a child, and finally brought her out. Lee Hwan appeared at the volunteer work with a face that looked a little calmer. Feeling sorry, she couldn’t even ask how he was, but seeing his face after several days, she could guess that he had been very ill.

Another female member sat behind Yeon and clung to him. He was always bothered by the girls. Originally popular and practically the face or signboard of the club, this was nothing new.

Eun-song should have been among them, but she kept her mouth shut and only looked out the window like Yeon.

It must have been uncomfortable for Eun-song to face Lee Hwan as well, so Yeon wondered why she had gone through the discomfort and awkwardness. It was because she wanted to see that hateful face one more time, even if it was just that.

Yeon felt like she understood that heart. Foolishly, sometimes the head and the heart don’t align. Even when you know something well in your head, your heart doesn’t follow.

Knowing that Hyun-woo wasn’t satisfied with just love, this foolish heart of hers couldn’t let him go easily either. But she knew well. That man and she were no longer...

She rubbed her eyes with both hands. Unable to pound her aching heart, she rubbed her innocent eyes instead.

Yeon carried a basket full of dripping wet clothes and headed to the yard behind the welfare center. The puppies, wagging their tails, excitedly ran around the yard following her.

She roughly finished washing only the items that were classified as needing handwashing. She wrung out the wet laundry and hung it on the clothesline in the sunny yard. The blankets were heavy, probably because they had soaked up water.

Standing on tiptoes and struggling, she barely hung one blanket on the clothesline and wiped her forehead when she saw Lee Hwan standing over there, making her almost scream out loud.

Everyone else was working hard, but there he was, leaning against something, leisurely smoking. If he was going to stare, he could at least make a sound. Still, feeling guilty for leaving him looking sick that day, she couldn’t bring herself to raise her voice and just shook off the water from the laundry, pretending not to notice and turning her head.

He put out his cigarette by grinding it with the toe of his sneakers and slowly walked towards her, surrounded by the blankets she had hung up. She was pointlessly wringing out the T-shirt she had picked up when a few gestures from him, snatching the shirt away, made the water run down. The wrung-out T-shirt was hung on the line with a swift flick.

“Nice sneakers.”

“What is?”

“I know yours are short, but wear these.”

Chewing over his words, Yeon finally understood what he meant by following his gaze. Her heels were chafed from wearing heels.

“It’s nothing much. What about you, senior?”

“Worried about me?”

“Just... I heard you haven’t been able to come to lectures for a few days.”

She silently watched the white buttons of his shirt when his hand, as large as the shirt, reached towards her. Startled, she tried to step back, but his hand, brushing against her cheek as he swept back her sweat-drenched, disheveled hair, made her heart pound.

A subtle feeling arose each time his fingers, arranging her hair, touched her earlobe.

“Ugh, I’m tired, my whole body aches. I’m going to die.”

“It’s practically a manual labor club. I think I saw senior Cha Yi-hwan earlier, but he’s gone. Seriously, would it kill him to say one word? He acts so expensive, just because he’s a little good-looking.”

“A little good-looking is an understatement. Honestly, you came today because you thought senior would be here, right?”

“Cha Yi-hwan’s tanned skin is so sexy, don’t you think? He’s subtly alluring. It feels like he’d be rough. Ugh.”

“You crazy bitch, you have no filter. Someone might hear you.”

At the sound of the girls’ giggling laughter not far away, Yeon instinctively looked up at the man in front of her. Should she laugh or not? The man, with an expression that said he was dumbfounded, finally let out a dry laugh.

“They’re really something.”

He smiled with an expression that asked what he should do about this, yet he showed his displeasure at the girls’ unrestrained whispers. His slightly distorted brow twitched. Then, when their eyes met, that ridiculous smile turned towards her.

“So they say.”

That smile seemed somewhat secretive...

“Pardon?”

“What do you think?”

“What do I think about what?”

“He’s subtly alluring. It feels like he’d be rough...”

It was definitely not her intention for the girls’ words, echoing in her head like a repeat sign, and the sight of the man’s chest covered only by a T-shirt in front of her to overlap. Let’s not have useless thoughts, let’s not get involved with him. She hastily turned her head, avoiding his gaze.

Then, as if telling her not to avoid his eyes, he lightly tapped the tip of his own nose. She was dying of anxiety that Eun-song might see them now, but what on earth was he thinking? The man’s eyes, though appearing dry, were far from barren as they looked at her.

“Why did you even come to volunteer?”

“Why? I’m a member, aren’t I?”

“I mean, why come to a volunteer activity that you’re just pretending to do?”

“You know why you’re asking.”

His gaze was fixed on her, only her. Since when? She actually wanted to ask, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know why, but she felt like she shouldn’t. Her heart, a muddy tidal flat from the trouble with Hyun-woo, was filling up like a high tide.

“Why are you so kind to me, senior?”

She swallowed the rest of her words, unable to reveal everything she had wanted to say, but in reality, there was more than just one thing she wanted to ask. She had only chosen the question that seemed most likely to elicit a decent answer from the many she had.

“Why are you so cheap with me when you act so expensive with other girls?”

“...Are you acting cheap with me right now?”

Yes, come to think of it, he was. He never gave other girls a second glance, yet he was so kind as to even talk to her, which was almost overwhelming. The problem was that she wasn’t welcoming it.

“Why? No, why?”

“Speak comfortably. It’s okay. Call me by my name, or whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“No. We’re seniors and juniors, I should maintain proper etiquette. Actually, I’m anxious that someone might see us alone like this. I have someone I’m dating, and as you know, with my friend too... Anyway, it feels like I’m not being honest no matter who sees us. Just being this close makes me uncomfortable. It really feels like I’m having an affair, just like you said.”

The man’s brow furrowed miserably as if he was about to get angry, but he didn’t raise his voice. She could sense that he was being careful, afraid she might run away if he scared her.

Even with that frightening face, she could fully feel his hesitation to grab her firmly.

“Yeon-ah, where are you? She’s not answering her phone, where did she go?”

Eun-song’s voice, sharp as a needle, pierced the low, heavy air. Hiding her body between the blankets, Yeon’s mind was flashing emergency lights. She was the only one whose head was a jumbled mess, like a tangled ball of yarn, terrified of being caught.

As she turned her back, the man’s damp warmth pressed tightly against her. The heat and longing, the clumsy yet fierce beating of his heart, could be felt on her back.

“Is your back all you’re going to show me?”

The man’s well-modulated voice held more hurt than disappointment. However, because the tone was somewhat rebellious, she decided to think of it as a joke. If only his warmth wasn’t pressed so closely against her back.

This was the feeling. That day, the feeling of him, standing alone like a large wild animal, grabbing her with a hand that had a feverish warmth. The feeling of his large hand enveloping her shoulder and pulling her in as if to embrace her.

A feeling like he was holding her back, telling her not to go.

The hand that had held her, startled by her reaction, quickly fell away, trembling. That man, like a wild beast.

Eun-song was very close. If she went out now, she would be caught. Instead of his hand, his hot breath, grabbing her, landed on her collarbone, tightening around her neck. Softly but powerfully, as if he would swallow her whole, he was clearly giving her a sharp warning.

Unable to run away or be caught, he was tempting her with sweet words like a poisoned apple.

“If I have you here, is that considered cheating?”

“...!”

Even though he wasn’t holding her, she couldn’t move at all, as if she were bound by chains.

“You told me not to do things like that. I’m sure you did, senior.”

“But I also said I’d do the bad things instead.”

“...That’s bad.”

“And you, who’s making a fuss trying to firmly tie me to that girl you have no feelings for, you’re not bad?”

“That’s...”

“You have no conscience, Jung Yeon.”

A puppy wagging its tail at their feet rubbed against their legs and circled them.

The little thing, wagging its tail and letting down its guard, kept bringing its head to Yeon’s legs, showing affection.

“Unnie!”

At the unexpected voice that appeared, flinging open the blankets, Yeon practically bounced out. His breath, which had been close, also drew back.

At this rate, she wouldn’t live a full life. She wasn’t easily surprised, but thanks to someone, this was the umpteenth time her heart had leaped as if it would stop. The problem was that she had a gut feeling this wasn’t the end.

“Play with me. You promised earlier!”

“Y-yes, I said I would play with you. Da-sol, right?”

“Uh-huh!”

Barely regaining her senses, she hugged the wriggling child from the welfare center who clung to her. Just then, her eyes met Eun-song’s, who was looking this way, having approached unnoticed.

“What... are you doing there?”

Eun-song’s eyes flickered between Lee Hwan and Yeon once.

“What else? Hanging up laundry. Thank you for your help, senior.”

She thanked Lee Hwan, who stood there as if driving a stake into her heart, pretending to be nonchalant.

At that moment, the child in her arms ran off into the yard, chasing the puppy. Small, young things stuck together, separated, tangled, and giggled. Yeon’s gaze was stolen by the lovely sight, but Eun-song’s eyes remained fixed on the two of them.

“Unnie, play with this oppa too!”

The child, who had run and hugged Lee Hwan tightly, grabbed his hand. Yeon had expected him to shake off the child’s hand, but he readily took it and lifted the child up to meet his eye level.

“What will you give me if I play with you?”

It was clear that conditions being attached to play was a first in the child’s life. The bewildered child blinked, looking troubled. On top of that, this rough-looking man’s voice sounded like he would immediately turn away if it wasn’t worth his while.

“Give me the candy you hid under the drawer earlier.”

“Th-that’s...”

After a long moment of contemplation, looking glum as if pondering the world’s problems, the child reluctantly nodded. He chuckled and patted the child’s back.

“No, you’ll get cavities if you eat all of it. What should we play?”

When he spoke in a relaxed voice, only then did the child touch his long eyelashes and well-defined nose, laughing with wonder.

The child, who had been staring intently at him, suddenly hugged him, but he didn’t mind and patted the child’s back, looking very kind. Even without that, the small child looked like a cicada on an old, tall tree against his large height, back, and broad chest.

Senior, there were other people on Earth who were kind. It was quite surprising. Absently smiling, she turned her head and saw Eun-song’s hardened face, tangled like vines with complicated thoughts.

“Let’s go, Eun-song-ah.”

Her eyes met his as he held the child, but Yeon hurriedly left the yard.

________________________________________

Everyone, carrying their palpable fatigue, boarded the bus heading back to Seoul.

「Where are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone? Do you know how worried I am? Are you at school?」

Leaning her head against the bus window, she stared at the barrage of text messages. Even though he was a man who had deceived her, she couldn’t foolishly 정리 her feelings.

He was a man she had loved wholeheartedly for over a year, a man she had loved passionately, burning herself out in the process. Yet, she didn’t have the courage to quit cleanly, to leave as easily as she could in her mind.

She comforted herself, saying it was because it was her first love. If it had been her second or third love, she might have known how to leave this man without any lingering feelings. That’s how the first time is. Because you haven’t experienced it, it’s scary, unfamiliar, and more painful because you’re not used to enduring the hurt.

She tried to comfort herself, thinking she was going through growing pains.

「Please, just tell me where you are. I’m really worried.」

「Do you want to see me go crazy?」

Finally, a threatening text message shook her as if squeezing her neck.

「I came far away for volunteer work. I want to have some time to myself for a while. I’d prefer it if you didn’t contact me.」

As soon as she sent the text, her phone rang, but Yeon turned it off and shoved it into her bag.

As soon as they arrived at school, thanks to the excited club president who offered to buy everyone a drink, the members pretended to loosen their belts. Even amidst the members pulling her to join them, Yeon stood like a stiff stone pillar without saying a word.

The familiar car parked in front of the main gate was waiting for her. Even in the darkness, she could clearly feel the man’s restless silhouette. Standing under the scattering branches, the man had lost his composure, as if he would drag her away any moment.

Although it was completely dark around them, she could clearly see the man leaning against the car, then standing up, his coldness gone, his heart heavy with darkness.

“Everyone, have fun. I have a prior engagement.”

“Senior, how can you do this? You have to come with us. It’s the last gathering of the semester.”

“Sorry. Something urgent came up.”

She carefully removed the hands of the members grabbing her. She coldly ignored Lee Hwan’s gaze fixed on her. Eun-song was stuck to her side like a magnet. She thought her ambiguous attitude would hurt both of them.

“Senior Lee Hwan, don’t you dare skip out again today. Absolutely not today. Hey, you guys, grab senior.”

“Let go.”

“Excuse me?”

“I said let go. Didn’t you hear me telling you to take your hands off me?”

‘S-senior,’ ‘Let go. Do I have to say it twice for you to understand?’ She walked away, turning her back on Lee Hwan’s cold voice fading in the distance.

As she reached the front gate, Hyun-woo walked towards her with heavy steps, as if he had been waiting. Why was the man angry? She had given this man everything. If wanting both his exterior and interior was a sin, then it was a sin.

As soon as she got into the passenger seat, the man sat in the driver’s seat and turned her shoulders to face him. The touch was different from Lee Hwan, who seemed to go through dozens of conflicts and agonies even to just touch her shoulder once. His face, as flushed as his feelings, was blotchy, as if he would slap her cheek.

“Why the hell! Why didn’t you answer your phone? You should have at least contacted me!”

“Don’t raise your voice. As if you’ve done something right. And I told you I wanted some time.”

“How much more time do we need apart? I explained everything.”

“So, because you’re the only son and you have to marry the promising hospital director’s daughter your family wants, I’m supposed to be your hidden lover?”

“I told you, nothing will change between us.”

“...Compared to that woman who is a doctor and has a hospital director father, I’m just a student with nothing to boast about, but that doesn’t give you the right to deceive me like this. Weren’t you even ashamed to look at my mother’s face while thinking those things?”

Ha, the man roughly wiped his dry face, deeply trapped in a dilemma. The man also wanted to go against his family’s wishes and be with her, but he too couldn’t shake off the temptation of power.

“I would have felt less miserable if your marriage to that woman was out of love. You’ve made me utterly pathetic. You should have just told me to break up. Then I might have been able to understand somehow. An affair? I won’t participate in that kind of thing, so if you want to, go find another woman. You looked down on me. Just because I’m young, you thought I didn’t have this much pride, huh? Congratulations on your marriage. Live well.”

As she turned to get out of the car, the man’s urgent voice clung to Yeon’s ankle until the very end.

“Okay. I won’t do that marriage. I won’t. Are you happy now?”

“Then can you introduce me to your family with confidence? Can you say that I’m the person you’re seeing?”

His face contorted instantly, becoming a ravaged mess as if he were going insane. That man couldn’t introduce her to his family. They would oppose it, and she would become an obstacle to his marriage with the woman his family had chosen for him. He was the only son in his generation and had decided to follow his family’s wishes. Yes, perhaps even though she had anticipated this ending, she had pretended not to know because she liked him. That might be why she hadn’t wanted to listen to Eun-song’s advice to face reality.

“This is the end for me now.”

It might hurt, but let’s endure it. Recalling words she hadn’t spoken, she got out of the car.

“Who said it’s the end! We’re not over yet. You’re my woman!”

The man’s shouting voice was close to a scream. Afraid he would follow and grab her, she quickly crossed the crosswalk and hid among the people.

The walk home felt particularly long. Tears welled up and blurred her vision. Yeon went into a pub not far from school.

If she went home like this, her mother would obviously worry. She would surely look at her with a heartbroken expression, asking who the man was who had made her cry. Yeon didn’t want that.

Wiping her tear-stained cheeks, she gulped down beer.

“Am I a beggar?”

Did I even beg you to date me? You made me feel miserable until the very end.

Actually, hadn’t she been the one begging throughout their relationship? Had she been the only one who thought it was love? Resentment and self-loathing washed over her at once.

She buried her head on the table. There were many students in the pub since it was near the school, but if she had been in her right mind to care about appearances, she wouldn’t have come in alone to drink in the first place.

Her phone, which kept ringing, continued to vibrate, but Yeon silently concentrated on drinking.

What drove her even more crazy was that when he had said he wouldn’t marry that woman, she had almost given in to his pleas.

Only after emptying all the drinks she had ordered did she stagger to her feet. A beer bottle, pushed by her hand, rolled across the table, but the already empty bottles only made a hollow sound.

Having come from volunteer work, she was in her gym clothes, and her hair was a mess from being drunk. Every time she struggled to put her slipping bag back on her shoulder, her head throbbed.

She had gone into the pub to fix her face, which was a mess from crying, but she came out even more of a wreck. Should she sit at the table in front of the convenience store to sober up before going home? As she stared at the long alley, she suddenly felt a dark silhouette above her head.

Darkness appearing from the darkness. Figures emerged one by one from the overlapping shadows.

“Who are you?”

“Prettier in person than I heard. Let’s hang out with us for a bit.”

“I asked who you are.”

“What would you do if you knew? A girl like you isn’t bad to have fun with.”

Before she knew it, her shoulder was grabbed, and the bag she had barely slung over her shoulder fell to the ground. The things that tumbled out of the fallen bag made soft noises.

The moment she lost her balance and her head dropped towards the ground, her waist was grabbed. Even with her head buzzing from the alcohol, a chilling sensation made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

“Let go of me!”

Both her arms were seized. The moment she felt the difference in strength between her and the men with her whole body, she heard the sound of her cardigan sleeve tearing.

The reason that wanted her to wake up from her drunkenness fought fiercely with her body, which felt as heavy as cotton soaked in alcohol. Her whole body trembled convulsively in a physiological reaction of revulsion. The moment the men grabbed her legs, her mouth was covered.

Even her screams were swallowed by the grip. With frantic, flailing resistance, her head slammed onto the ground with a thud. Before she could feel the pain, she bit the hand of the man dragging her into the dark alley, and was immediately slapped across the cheek.

She vaguely saw her shoe, which had fallen off while she was being dragged, receding into the distance.

Her tearful words of threatening to kill them if they came closer were drowned out by the sound of another slap across her cheek. Her chest was grabbed as if being ripped apart. Soon, the hand fondling her chest moved with greater force. Yeon twisted her ears as if to tear them off at the ringing sound in her ears.

“Hey, hey. I told you just to scare her.”

“Wait. Look at this bitch’s firm tits. They’re fucking huge. Biggest I’ve ever seen? Let’s suck on them once, damn it.”

“Hey, this isn’t it. You crazy bastard. This wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Ah, if you don’t like it, you can leave.”

Yeon practically crawled on the asphalt with both arms. As her grabbed legs were dragged along, her arms automatically scraped against the ground as she was pulled. Her gym pants slipped down, and a cold draft clung to her thighs. Her body trembled at the unpleasant chill.

When she kicked the man with her foot and swung her fist with a hand that posed no threat, vulgar curses that couldn’t be repeated erupted from all directions.

Eventually, the gym pants that had been dangling from her ankle came off completely. When she bit the hand covering her mouth hard again and again, the man who had been about to pull down her underwear picked her up.

She couldn’t even struggle properly as she was being carried away. Yeon was eventually thrown into a van parked at the end of the alley as if she were being dumped.

The man who climbed on top of her, pressing down on her body, roughly pulled up her T-shirt and bra. With her weak hands, she grabbed his strong hands. In her fading consciousness, barely holding on, she saw the greasy look in the man’s eyes glistening.

“Look at those tits. Amazing. You didn’t say she was this pretty. Look at that skin, damn it. Wow.”

The man who slapped the back of the head of the man who was swallowing his saliva spoke in a hurried voice.

“Hey, can we really do this? We’ll really die if we keep going.”

“I told you, leave if you don’t like it.”

Yeon rammed her forehead into the head of the man who had come close enough to stroke her cheek. Behind the scream that erupted, the inside of the van became chaos in an instant at the deafening crash that seemed to tear her eardrums. The man who was smashing the car windows with a baseball bat was a familiar figure.

“What the fuck!”

“You goddamn bastards! Don’t you take your hands off her?”

It was crude language that was in no way inferior to the vulgar curses of the men, but the overwhelming relief that surged like a flood, enough to burst a dam, was because of the familiar voice. An unrefined, rawly pulsating emotion, finally a beast broken because of her.

The man who had been smashing all the car windows swung the baseball bat at the dark figures. In her fading consciousness, Lee Hwan, looking whitish, was beating the men as if to burst their heads.

The head of the man who had been clinging to her ankle slammed into the car body several times with a thud. The man, bleeding profusely from his nose, collapsed onto the ground with a thud. Yeon crawled and threw herself out of the car as if rolling off.

“Jung Yeon! Are you okay? Shit.”

The man, his hands trembling, pulled down Yeon’s T-shirt, which had exposed her chest, and roughly tousled his own hair. He took off his outer jacket and covered her bare legs.

He picked up the bat again and ran towards the group, then threw the bat at the car carrying the men as it sped away. She heard the sound of glass shattering, but then her eyes closed.

“Jung Yeon! Snap out of it. Damn it, Jung Yeon!”

Her body floated up, and she faintly saw his hair swaying in time with his running. Sweat beaded on his chin, and as his running quickened, the heat rose from his firm, bare chest rubbing against her.

Her head ached. Her consciousness kept fading due to the warmth of his chest, the lingering effects of the alcohol, and the shock she hadn’t yet recovered from.

“......”

The pattering of rain against the window sounded softly for a long time. It was a sound submerged in silent darkness, as if nothing had ever happened. Yeon laboriously lifted her heavy eyelids.

The space felt unfamiliar, the air, the TV she had never seen before, the bedsheets she had never seen before, and what she could see through the slightly open door was a familiar back. A broad and seemingly violent back, yet somehow it felt reassuring. Harsh words occasionally escaped the man’s lips as he leaned crookedly against the wall.

“18th Street, 198X. Please look up the car owner. I know, that’s why I’m asking you. Just look it up for me. Don’t give me so much lip. And don’t breathe a word to our old man. If the old man finds out, neither you nor I will die peacefully. Shut up. Politics and whatnot, the old man’s really on a roll these days. Anyway.”

Yeon, about to get up from the bed, pressed her dizzy forehead. There was a bandage on her forehead where her fingertips touched. Earlier, her whole body had been scraped as she was dragged on the ground, and it seemed her forehead had also been grazed then.

Had senior put it on? The wound stung, but it was bearable.

“I told you to follow her all the way home without losing her. Is that so difficult? Huh? Are you going to do your job like this? You need to get your act together...”

He was on the phone when his eyes met hers as he glanced back absently. His face, which had been narrowed with a fierce atmosphere, relaxed in embarrassment.

“...Uh, hey. Hang up. Just hang up.”

He tossed the phone down haphazardly and walked into the room.

“Are you okay? Don’t get up, just lie down.”

“What... happened? Is this your place, senior?”

As she tried to sit up, he quickly sat on the edge of the bed and helped prop her up.

She lifted the blanket and tried to put her feet on the floor, but then she realized her lower half was completely exposed up to her thighs, and that she was only wearing a T-shirt.

She remembered that a few hours ago, the men had forcibly taken her gym pants, and Lee Hwan’s T-shirt had been used to cover her like pants all the way here.

Glancing to the side, she saw his gaze fixed on her thighs, his expression showing complicated emotions, wondering what to do. She pulled the T-shirt down to cover the scratches and clotted blood, but the hem of the T-shirt, which had been scraped when she rolled on the asphalt, was crumpled.

“Ah...”

Embarrassed, she pressed down on the dirty hem of the shirt when a strong arm quickly reached over and grabbed her wrist. She blinked, opening and closing her eyes, and looked at the man who had come closer. He didn’t show it outwardly, but his troubled feelings filled his unruly eyes.

“Stay still. You’ll get an infection.”

“...I’m okay.”

“What do you mean, you’re okay? Look at yourself. How can you say that right now?”

Tsking, he was still careful as he got up. When his large frame, like a wild beast, stood up from the bed, the mattress creaked and swayed significantly.

As if he had prepared it beforehand, he picked up a folded T-shirt from the console next to the bed and handed it to her.

It was a T-shirt that looked so big it would be like a dress on her. It smelled of fragrant fabric softener, as if it had been freshly washed and dried. Yeon nervously fidgeted with the soft T-shirt with both hands, and his gaze briefly landed on her.

“At least change into this for now.”

When Yeon nodded slightly, he went out to the living room. She took off her dirty T-shirt and put on his. The strap of her bra was torn on one side, hanging uselessly on only one shoulder.

Sigh. With a deep breath, Yeon pulled off the broken bra and slipped her arms all the way into his T-shirt.

She should thank him for saving her earlier. But because she felt more apologetic than grateful towards him, she had to carefully choose the words she would say.

After a brief internal struggle, she held onto the torn strap of her bra when he came back through the open door with a first-aid kit.

Yeon folded the two bra cups together and gently sat on the bed he gestured to with his chin.

He willingly knelt down and pulled one of her legs, stained red with blood from the wounds, towards him. Startled by the soft touch of someone else, she gripped the sheet with the hand holding her bra, and his hand went to her trembling wrist.

She unconsciously flinched at the sharp look in his intense eyes. His eyes felt kinder than usual, but she had never imagined encountering him like this, so she was nervous about where to look and what to do with her hands.

“Who stole your bra?”

Yeon folded the tattered strap and hid the bra under the pillow. Then, he chuckled, looking somewhat more relaxed than before. His eyes were completely different from when he had been fiercely beating the men with a scary expression.

She actually knew why even the smallest things changed when he faced her. She knew that defining it as love meant turning a blind eye. Because it felt like she had to. There was no specific reason she could articulate for her avoidance.

It was simply tied to a sense of obligation that it shouldn’t be. Choosing the definition of the emotion itself was meaningless.

“I’m okay without antiseptic.”

“If you say ‘I’m okay’ one more time, I’ll kick you out, you know that? You really need to grow horns on your butt every time you lie. Does ‘okay’ look like this on your knees?”

With a rather threatening warning, he put antiseptic on a gauze pad and dabbed it over her wounds. His eyelashes lowered, his eyes glancing at her while he disinfected her. She wondered why, and realized he seemed to be checking if it hurt.

In an uncharacteristic way, this man was impatient with every contact he had with her. Even when he grabbed her shoulder once, he had carefully watched her, worried if she was uncomfortable.

If she showed any sign of dislike, his warm hand wouldn’t dare stay closer and would maintain a distance. Yet, he couldn’t leave and kept hovering around her. His impatience was so palpable that hurting him felt like a sin.

His eyes would sink into a deep despair as if the world had collapsed even at a single word of refusal. Without him saying anything, his utter despair was so clear that she kept feeling like she was the bad person.

She remembered the large beer can being emptied all at once and crushed in his grip with a crunch. She was sure that if he squeezed her knee with that much force, it would break just like the can. She had already felt the difference in their strength, so she knew without having to check.

Yet, the hand holding her knee was only gentle. Unfitting for his ice-cold impression, his hand was warm. As she closed her slightly parted legs, his short sigh slowly spread down to her thighs.

“Shouldn’t you go to the hospital?”

He wiggled his eyebrows and looked up between Yeon’s legs as he asked.

“No. I don’t want my mom to find out. So please, don’t tell anyone.”

If her mother found out, she would obviously stop eating again for days and secretly shed tears. She would think she had lost her husband and even pushed her child into a pit of danger, that it was all her fault, and she would surely trap herself in another fabricated guilt.

Because her mother had lived like a sinner to her ever since her father died...

After her firm request, he looked up at her silently for a moment, then sighed and picked up a new gauze pad.

“You really live a complicated life.”

He clearly seemed to have vaguely grasped her complicated situation, but he didn’t say anything more. He kept his mouth shut and simply stayed by her side in silence without showing any discomfort.

“But why are you so calm? Do you even know what almost happened earlier and you’re still this calm?”

“Anyway, nothing happened in the end, and I’m safe thanks to you, senior.”

“That’s all I needed to know.”

He furrowed his brow as if scolding a junior, but he didn’t say anything more. He clearly knew that saying anything would only remind them of what had happened earlier.

Yeon looked around. It looked like a studio apartment, smaller and cozier than she had thought. Had he carried her all the way here? The thought suddenly crossed her mind. Maybe that’s why his usually neat hair looked a little disheveled.

His serious eyes felt somewhat unfamiliar. He had once been known for taking down all the kids with his fists and dominating the area, and the hand that held her knee and spread it further was firm. His fingers were long and soft, but the hand with visible tendons was definitely a strong man’s hand.

“...Ah.”

“Does it hurt? Is women’s skin always this delicate? Just bear with it.”

He seemed to pity her body, covered in red handprints like bruises, and touched Yeon as gently as if handling a puppy, unlike his usual rough demeanor. She felt strangely aware of his carefulness. What was a few scratches to her? But it seemed different to him.

His T-shirt had ridden up while he was disinfecting the wound that extended to the inside of her thigh. Her panties were hanging precariously, the T-shirt barely covering her lower body. He was still focused on applying the bandage.

Yeon subtly used her fingers to push the bottom of the T-shirt down to cover between her legs. He pretended not to notice and smoothly covered her groin, but his eyes, finishing with the bandage, fixed on her fingertips covering the entrance. Soon, Yeon met his upward-gazing eyes head-on.

She unconsciously swallowed hard in embarrassment. She wasn’t usually easily flustered, but she didn’t know why this raw, unrefined man’s eyes made her feel so helplessly embarrassed.

“......”

“......”

Actually, the moment their eyes met, the composure she had been maintaining cracked, but she had to pretend otherwise. Just staring intently at each other was unbearable. She had avoided him first, but his eyes stubbornly went to Yeon’s anxious pupils. She could feel it. That persistent and deep gaze.

He quickly opened the T-shirt she had tried to cover herself with, perhaps checking if there were any unseen injuries, and only closed the first-aid kit after confirming there were no more wounds.

Yeon’s face flushed belatedly at the sight of her sheer apricot-colored panties, the dark pubic hair faintly visible underneath.

An ambiguous tension crept into her chest. A single stone thrown into a calm sea surface created ripples that spread deep within her chest without her even realizing it. Being in front of him in such a suggestive state made her feel like a base animal.

Before she could even adjust her exposed apricot panties, she called out to him as he stood up. She grabbed his hand, which had turned away, a little urgently. His hand, which could easily twist and break her wrist and was warm without being dry, was trembling slightly.

“Um, senior.”

“I’ll get you something to drink, just to wet your throat.”

“Um, can I stay here a little longer today? If I go home like this, my mom...”

“Fuck.”

A small curse escaped the man as he bowed his head deeply. He briefly covered his mouth with his hand, then turned back to her call.

As if he had been desperately trying to avoid the present moment, Yeon knew as soon as she looked him directly in the eye that facing her had been a fierce struggle for him.

Confused eyes, a narrowed brow, a lower lip that looked bitten and released, slightly reddened ear tips – the atmosphere was strange. Different from usual. Even though it was a crude curse, the tone felt subtly different... There was a temperature difference even in the same curse. The breath caught in his tone was desperate. The desire he had been suppressing was bursting through his ribcage, burning him up.

“Senior...?”

“Don’t call me. I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Senior Lee Hwan...”

“Don’t call me. Don’t even say my name.”

Question marks floated above her head as she noticed a thick bulge rising prominently from the center of his sturdy body. The object, engorged and hard as blood rushed to it, stuck out without anywhere to hide. That large thing, obvious at a glance.

The remnants of emotion that tormented him had taken root in his erect cock, swelling so much it lifted the front of his pants. Shaking violently with surging lust, he bit his lip, his face growing increasingly dry.

“Ah...”

He cursed, pressing down on the bulging front of his sweatpants with a hand as large as his erection. That usually composed hand rippled with embarrassment as he tried to subdue his arousal. But there was no way it would listen.

“Damn it, this is driving me crazy.”

He ran a hand through his hair, acting like he was the one who should be flustered. It was the height of audacity, but she couldn’t bring herself to scold his fiercely boiling, lewd sincerity and had to secretly let out a dry laugh.

“How can you be so careless in front of a guy who’s horny for you, huh?”

“You’re the one who gave me clothes to wear, senior. You’re the one who treated me...”

“I’m going crazy. Why the hell is this thing standing up again?”

For a man who had boldly suggested having an affair, he clearly looked flustered by the change in his own body. She briefly wanted to touch his reddened ear, but decided against it, thinking he might come right then and there if she provoked him more. The situation with his cock was that urgent.

Hoo, panting with a groan-like breath, he couldn’t even touch the now damp front of his pants, yearning for release. She couldn’t help but imagine that impressive thing popping out, dripping with pre-cum, if he lowered his pants right now.

If she hadn’t been there, he would have probably just grabbed his cock and indulged in intense self-pleasure. At the vividly imagined scene, her own palms grew sweaty.

“Um, senior.”

“What?”

Was cock size proportional to build? Even at a glance, that hidden thing looked as robust and its silhouette as weighty as the man’s physique.

Could that be one of the reasons so many girls liked him? An instinctive attraction to a male with a thick, strong reproductive organ that would provide greater satisfaction during mating, something like that?

Unconsciously focused on staring at the bulging fly of his pants, where even shadows seemed to deepen, Yeon calmly shifted her blinking eyes elsewhere.

Why was she having such ridiculous,杂乱 thoughts? But when she pushed aside Cha Yi-hwan and returned to reality, her chest felt heavy and her breath hitched.

Wanting to avoid the oppressive reality surrounding her, her straightened heart was still silently stinging. If her mother found out about today...

A long time ago, after her father passed away, when she came home with a swollen face from being beaten by friends, her mother didn’t leave her room for days. Her mother had been hurt and had been caught in an unspeakable pain for a while.

Hyun-woo, who wanted to marry according to his family’s wishes but still maintain a relationship with her, and her own current state, not in her right mind after almost experiencing something unspeakable – she didn’t want to think about any of it.

She had told that man it was over. But he had insisted that he only loved her. That she was still his woman. Marriage was just a legal formality, his heart was only hers.

Eun-song had said it was because of their age difference that he was taking advantage of her naivety, but had she really been that young to believe that man, ignoring it? Actually, even at this moment, she felt pathetic for wanting to hold onto that man and wanted to curse herself.

He stood there, his fly proudly erect, as if he had now given up.

His face, asking what she had to say, was still unruly. But she wasn’t scared. He was a man so much stronger and tougher than those guys earlier, a man whose one punch seemed like it could send those weaklings flying. Yet, strangely, relief preceded fear.

Bruised all over by a foolish love, she could only explain it by the fact that she believed this man who said he liked her.

The reason for her belief? She didn’t know. She just wished her head was empty. Escapism, avoidance – whatever label you put on it, it was right. She just wanted to run away.

She also wanted to shed her shabby shell, still clinging to lingering feelings for him. If she secretly crossed that line she had always drawn, saying she should never cross it, what would the thrill of that transgression be like?

For now, she didn’t even want to think about Eun-song, who had cried so much because of this man. She couldn’t help but admit that Eun-song’s subtle, persistent attempts to make her draw a line with Cha Yi-hwan had also been a source of stress.

Acknowledging the truth brought a sense of relief along with guilt. What a bad friend she was. Yeon smiled a little self-deprecatingly.

The phone lying sprawled on the bedsheets, which he must have picked up, kept ringing, urging her to answer. The caller was that man. She let go of the foolishness and lust that had made her live with her phone glued to her hand for two whole years, waiting for his call. With that vow, she pushed the phone away.

In the dimly lit room, Yeon tentatively grabbed the arm of the man whose center was standing tall like a mountain, as much as her own anxiety. She herself knew better what it meant to hold onto a man in such a state of extreme arousal.

She offered her confused body and mind, asking him to solidify her resolve. Let’s just not think about anything like this, or rather, please help me to do so. Because you like me.

Perhaps she had wanted to receive that blind affection of someone desperately clinging to her, begging her not to go. Someone who wouldn’t make her beg him not to marry someone else, who wouldn’t weigh her against other women. A man who would pour out his heart to her without any conditions.

A man who would love her so much that she wouldn’t even dare to make such calculations. She hadn’t even realized she might be looking for such a person. No, right now she needed such a man. Selfishly, she was now hoping for that from Cha Yi-hwan.

“Senior, did I do this?”

“Are you kidding? Did my dick just get hard on its own?”

“Shall I... help you with that?”

“What?”

His eyebrows, which had been casually furrowed, shot up as if struck by lightning.

His eyes seemed to be saying, ‘Aren’t you messed up from the shock earlier?’ but he just looked down at her, who was saying such outrageous things, without a word. His still well-defined features were tinged with confusion.

“Why? Did you have all the fun you wanted with that bastard?”

“He went on a blind date.”

She didn’t even tell Eun-song much about her love life. There were parts about relationships that made her feel ashamed even to her friend. Words she wouldn’t say unless asked, she even found the쏟아지는 attention bothersome. But why was she saying things she didn’t need to say in front of this man?

She didn’t do things she would regret later. She prided herself on being more rational than others. But today’s events had no clear reason or motive.

“But he still says he likes me. And yet, he has to go through with that marriage. I guess I’m still young. I don’t understand what he’s saying. Why he’s hiding me from his family, why I have to be his shadow-like lover.”

Strangely, after finally voicing it, she felt calm. Perhaps it was because he didn’t pry any further and quietly listened to her silence, that she leaned on this wavering body, unable to find her bearings in that comfort.

“Don’t try to understand it your whole life. That’s normal. What kind of sane guy would leave a woman he likes to marry another woman? Anyway, that son of a bitch, he looked rotten from the start, and he’s doing all sorts of things.”

She had subconsciously thought that he would understand her feelings. She had poured out her heart hoping he would say something like this. Yeon chuckled slightly at his coarse curse. He was taking her side right now, wasn’t he?

“He still says he likes me. He says he won’t marry that woman. He says he’ll give up everything just for me.”

“...So, what are you going to do?”

“I’m... with you right now, senior.”

I won’t waver because of him anymore. Not anymore.

As if to answer his question, Yeon slowly pulled his arm towards her. The center of the man’s lower body was right there, close enough to touch her nose if she fell forward. Perhaps she was using him, who liked her, for her own sake, her head being so chaotic.

She wasn’t the type to easily trust and rely on people, but those firm and strong-looking fists and chest felt like they would take her side. A selfish thought arose that Cha Yi-hwan would do that for her.

She had braced herself, but facing the man’s lower body in front of her, even amidst her chaotic thoughts, a subtle tension wriggled within her.

She hoped he wouldn’t notice her swallowing hard at the arousal she felt for this strong man.

She tightly gripped his pelvis and pulled down his pants. Only wearing a single layer of drawers, his cock stood erect, engorged and throbbing with desire, the front of his drawers stained a darker color with pre-cum. She reached out to touch it, but flinched at the sudden heat, her eyelids fluttering.

Oblivious to the passionate intensity in his gaze directed at her, Yeon once again reached for the center hidden within the fabric.

The cock, so full it seemed the seams of his drawers might burst, throbbed with pulsing veins wherever her touch landed, yearning for release.

An unusual length with a considerable girth and thickness of the shaft. As she subtly rolled her fingertips over the wet area, a low, sensual groan finally escaped him. A deep sigh, filled with desire, carried within it a myriad of intense emotions.

That raw breath brushed against her ear and then penetrated her sensitive nape.

Why was he the first person she thought of when those men grabbed her arms? Even as her eyes closed, it wasn’t Hyun-woo, whom she had dated for nearly two years, but this man who had suddenly appeared in her life, who flickered in her mind.

But Yeon decided to just let it be, without needing a reason. She wanted to throw away the part of herself that always needed a reason to meet Hyun-woo, just for today, let’s do it that way.

“You.”

Boldly touching this man’s cock, she had been lost in thought. A man’s hand, like a black sea, unreadable, gripped her wrist. Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt. Even caught in such a strong grip, the area where they touched felt hot.

Lifting her head between his legs, she could see the man’s eyes, like magma boiling beneath the surface. She could clearly feel him barely suppressing his own desire.

“Am I your toy?”

He spat out a sarcastic, twisted remark, and she had nothing to say. Agreement and denial, only two answers existed, yet she couldn’t answer, as if faced with countless choices.

But he was a man who would never let go of her hand, even if she said nothing. That’s how one-way streets usually are. Like Hyun-woo, who had lost his mind and turned crazy because of her, because she, who had been on a two-way street with him, had lost her way and wandered off, turning it into a one-way street.

That’s why the one who likes more is always at a disadvantage. A cruel emotion that makes you endure any emotional cost. He possessed something she didn’t.

“Still, I’m the crazy one for liking you.”

See, he can’t push me away.

“Playing with me might go your way, but I can’t take responsibility for the aftermath.”

“......”

“Think carefully. You could fuck up your whole life by sleeping with me once.”

She didn’t know if it was a threat or a seduction. A man who flirtatiously traced her jawline with his fingertips while uttering vulgar threats. He had risked his own safety to drag her out of danger, and yet he was making such threats; he was just as out of his mind.

While his words were full of warnings, his lower body was saying something else entirely.

“......”

Was she perhaps thinking wrongly? No matter how much she wanted to forget the hurt from another person, it was clearly wrong to do that to him, who liked her. Leaning on Cha Yi-hwan right now was probably...

She wished she had a more impulsive personality. At this moment, she felt like she would regret any choice she made. Regret not giving in to his temptation. Or regret not having him.

Sliding down his abs, her hand was suddenly caught. At the same time, she lifted her head.

“Fuck.”

Cha Yi-hwan, his eyes already blazing with fire, the man whose eyes were already only on her, harshly gritted out a curse. She thought she wanted to be devoured like this. To be pulled towards him, for him to take control of her, to hold onto her heart and body.

“Act a little mean. Aren’t you tired of being so devoted? Does that bastard lick your ass if you guard your chastity?”

“How can you say such things... And you’re also quite devoted in your own way, senior. To me...”

Since when had he liked her? She didn’t know well, but just by his words to her, his actions, the way he tried his best to restrain himself but his eyes would become a mess whenever his emotions burst out uncontrollably, she could roughly guess that these feelings weren’t something that had suddenly appeared.

“That’s why I’m acting mean right now.”

“Pardon?”

The moment her body fell onto the bed, the strong-looking man lunged in.

Even though she had braced herself from the beginning, facing his face directly made her chest feel tight. It was a dangerously close position. No, ever since she had entered this house, they had been in danger. It was just that they had crossed the ignition point, and things were boiling over.

“...Senior.”

“Act mean, use me, play with me, you do that too. Because guys are even worse than that.”

“...You want me to do that to you, senior?”

And take responsibility for the aftermath myself?

This was the height of recklessness. He was making what sounded like threats, his brow heavily furrowed, but she could hear his heart pounding, he was that nervous.

She knew it was ridiculous, and honestly, she couldn’t believe it, but was he a virgin? He had such a flashy look, like a total playboy, yet here he was, a man visibly flustered with nervousness in front of a woman.

“Senior, by any chance... is this your first time?”

At her question asking if it was his first time, his brow furrowed even deeper. Was his pride hurt? He bit his lip tightly. It was as good as hearing an answer.

“Just cry if it feels good. You better not regret it.”

She grabbed his shoulder to calm him down. He must have been quite the fistfighter in his prime; the traces of his life were evident in his strong shoulder. A solid, animalistic man trained in physical exertion. Those guys from earlier would all kneel before this body.

Without any particular intention, she gently stroked his neck, and he kissed her with desperate eyes as if facing death. It was a kiss as somewhat rough as the man’s physique.

But contrary to that, she was surprised by his soft lips and then again by the sensation of his hot, enveloping tongue. She could feel his trembling through his tongue.

However, the kiss, which had no hesitation, had a clear intention. A strong desire to become intertwined, a body temperature proportional to it, a desire to see the end of this kiss, no, of this heat. He hadn’t uttered a single word, but this kiss said it all.

Just when their deeply intertwined tongues seemed about to separate, he would change direction and tangle them again, and just as they were about to part, he would pull the back of her head close, mixing everything inside her mouth until she couldn’t breathe. The heat pouring down her throat was already saturated.

But he didn’t stop. As if determined to imprint every ridge of their slickly overlapping tongues, he lingered, nibbling at her locked tongue for a long time.

He eagerly filled her mouth and generously passed over his saliva. Without refusing, she drank it down and embraced his neck, which had grown sensitive from the kiss.

Yeon’s tongue trembled, plunged into his mouth, at the raw excitement that felt like falling into an endless darkness. Her small tongue, unable to even quiver properly from the pleasure, was struck by his onslaught and relentlessly sucked.

While changing direction lewdly, his tongue, sticking and mixing like a magnet, was both seemingly gentle and violent like him, both violent and meticulous. Yeon’s whole body was swept away by the unpredictable surge.

The man, scraping together the saliva pooling in her mouth and swallowing it down, wanted love. Her heart. Affection. The man who would rush ahead but then come back to caress and support the back of Yeon’s head, worried she might fall, wanted... love again.

“Haa, haa...”

She looked up at him with the feeling of wandering in the middle of an unknown desert. Then, as if promising to willingly become her constellation, he stroked her slender neck and cheek.

This too, he did without hesitation, simply following his heart. Yeon could tell well enough just from their touching body heat. A man whose seething lust was undisguised even in a kiss.

“Can I suck your pussy like I suck your kiss? Suck your hole like I suck your lips. Is that right?”

He was a man who really made her feel troubled. He looked so flashy, yet he was a virgin. The man’s unpredictable eyes were fixed on only one place.

The very deep, deep place in her pupils. Yeon trembled briefly at his gaze, as if he would dig up her innermost flesh. She couldn’t move her eyes, as if overpowered by his intense emotion.

She confessed with the desire for him to hold her tightly like he was doing now.

“Just like you’re doing now.”

Like this kiss, pouring out an unreserved, pure affection.

“You can suck me like that. So, please make my pussy feel good.”

Just like you’re looking at me so kindly right now.

“Make it feel good.”

So that the meaning of these moistly spreading tears would no longer be longing for another person, like this. Hiding words she couldn’t bring herself to say, he came closer as if to suck away her tears and kissed her eyelashes, then, as if making a promise and hooking fingers, he wound her panty strings around his finger and pulled them down.

As she subtly lifted her hips to make it easier for him to undress her further, his gaze flickered upwards. His uniquely delicate and beautiful eyes, his pupils burning with passion, were intently watching her.

His gaze, never overbearing yet possessing a power that subtly held his partner captive, was quietly sensual.

She had resolved to endure the embarrassment, but she couldn’t control the heart that was beating loudly like a trumpet in her chest.

Still, there was nowhere further to retreat. No, she wouldn’t retreat. She had no intention of pretending to be virtuous now, dwelling on her past lover as if unable to forget the breakup. It was a kind of shedding of her old self.

Yeon first spread her thighs wide like a frog, showing him the opening where his cock would enter. She offered him that warm and secret place, narrow, dark, and moist, where no one and nothing could ever enter without permission. At that, his gaze immediately plunged between her legs as if drawn in.

His eyes were deeply rooted in the depths of her wide-open hole, the vaginal opening revealed for him. His pupils, silently exploding, were soaked and overflowing with moisture. The rims of his eyes were wet as if he would cry at any moment.

“See, you can see it well, right? This is the hole where yours will go in, senior.”

It wasn’t as if she wasn’t embarrassed. Even though it wasn’t her first time, Hyun-woo was still her only experience. It was a secret place she had never shown to anyone but him.

Would he know what kind of internal conflict she had to overcome to dare to reveal her private parts in front of someone else? Even if he didn’t, it didn’t matter. This decision was hers, so the responsibility was also hers.

“I... know that much.”

He had been staring intently at her vagina with constantly trembling eyes without saying a word, then he chuckled and raised the corners of his eyes, looking quite tender.

Thump-thump, at that tender word, the opening she was holding wide throbbed. Every time her chest pounded, her vagina opened and closed, panting desperately as if suffering from hyperventilation. Her arousal fluid steadily wet the entrance and made his eyes gleam with rapture.

“Jung Yeon, are you trying to kill me like this? Huh?”

His hoarse, cracked voice was sincere. So sincere that it was only a moment before he became flushed, as if he would bury his head and die.

“It only goes in... if you touch me like this.”

Yeon slightly rubbed the entrance of her vagina, revealing a tantalizing gap as if she would give him everything inside, then drew circles around the skin surrounding the opening, pulling it up.

As she pushed the sticky arousal fluid against her tender skin and slipped in and out of her opening, his eyes deepened and intensified further. A clear lust was added to his breathtakingly intense gaze. It was a dangerous sign. She didn’t regret providing the cause.

“I’m going crazy.”

The man’s fingertips, urgently clinging to her and spreading her legs even wider, carried the pure intention that had blossomed towards her.

“I never thought your pussy would be this lovely...”

His face, which he buried and lifted as if going mad, was a complex mix of lust, trembling, and something else indescribable.

“Damn it, I have to catch that bastard and beat him to death.”

“Pardon?”

“Don’t regret it. Don’t regret leaving that bastard. Don’t regret throwing him away.”

“......”

“Because I’ll make you feel even better. Huh?”

Huh? His question, asking again, sounded strangely like a plea. As if to say, don’t have any lingering feelings for Hyun-woo, that man. Because he would give her everything that man couldn’t. Please don’t regret leaving him.

“I wasn’t the one who left, I was the one who was left...”

Her words trailed off pathetically. It was very... inappropriate for words spoken while rubbing her own opening like this. But she had been about to say that she wouldn’t regret it, that she would try even if it didn’t go well.

His face, which had been fixed between her legs, suddenly moved up her torso. Before she knew it, Yeon’s face was buried in his chest. His firm body was wedged between her wide-open legs.

“Sen...”

Unexpected things always rush in suddenly. Yeon’s heart skipped a beat at his unforeseen action. He hugged Yeon tightly, burying her face in his chest.

She had never guessed, no, never even imagined, that things would turn out like this with him. For her, it had been an insecure love, like walking a tightrope that could break at any moment, but she had mistakenly thought she could overcome it. So, this man hadn’t even been an option.

Even though she found this man, who lingered by her side even when she pushed him away, strangely bothersome and kept noticing him, she had never thought of it as love.

He was like a wild beast wandering in its first love. That incongruous gap strangely stung her heart.

Her hand, which had been wandering in the air, slowly cupped the back of his head, and in an instant, his head returned between her legs. Finally, reason exploded without leaving a trace.

“Ah, sen, ya, Cha, Yi-hwan!”

His hot tongue touched and left in an instant, from her vagina, soaked and softened with arousal fluid, to her clit, which had ripened to a flushed red. He wouldn’t allow even a moment’s separation of their skin, perfectly parting her labia with his tongue and finding her vaginal opening.

While licking her hidden, burrowing hole like a dog, he pressed her hips closer, wanting to be even closer, and attached his lips.

“Ugh, ah, ah! W-wait a minute! Ahh!”

“Touch it with your hand. The best spot when I suck it. Huh? Like you did earlier.”

While ceaselessly licking her vaginal opening, he used the tip of his tongue to tease her G-spot, where her waist twisted. From the swollen clitoral hood to the round vaginal entrance he was licking, to her tender and soft perineum, he focused all the sensations of his body solely for Yeon’s orgasm.

Chuu, chwup, chweup, jjuup. His head, as if it had driven a stake into her vulva, wouldn’t lift. A shallow sound pooled between her legs. She felt the area around the hole his lips were rubbing against tightening with excitement.

“Aahhh! Ah, aah!”

Her flesh, moistly swollen, and the tongue rubbing against it like a madman, once, and then the lower mound of her pubis, where his nose rubbed against her pubic hair, and then again the folded anus due to the aftereffects of that multiple orgasm – a violent pleasure struck her.

“Ang!”

Yeon moaned involuntarily with excitement at the electrifying sensation and rubbed the edge of her vagina, which his lips covered, with her own hand. His tongue, touching and leaving her fingertips, was as smooth as her vulva.

His lips, rubbing against her without hesitation, were damp, mixed with arousal fluid. A high temperature of excitement, and a body temperature just as hot. In addition, her mind melted and flooded.

Without her even telling him, he found the spot where she moaned loudly like a ghost and pressed his tongue there, sucking freely. Thanks to him, her swollen clit was crying out with intense pleasure and pain.

“Damn it, are women always this weak, or is it just you? I feel like I’ll break you if I hold you.”

He muttered, taking Yeon’s hand that had been wandering between her legs. Like someone atoning for his desire for her, he pressed his lips to Yeon’s thigh and caught his breath. She thought his slightly lowered, husky voice was sexy.

Have you finally gone crazy, you. No matter how much you decided to just let go.

“A little... slower.”

“Would that work for you? Huh? You’re right here in front of me right now. And you’ve even allowed me your pussy like this.”

He earnestly murmured the suggestive words, more sincere than anyone in the world.

It was already impossible to calm his hugely swollen arousal. Yeon instinctively knew that the only way to relieve this excitement was through violent thrusting that would make anyone die without knowing.

This man, burning like a crimson flame, clearly knew it too. Embracing each other, mingling their flesh, and thrusting his long, thick cock into her narrow vagina until one of them cried out. That’s what was needed.

“Is this where your cock goes in?”

He slipped a finger deep into the passage he had thoroughly sucked. Mischievous eyes that knew the answer smoothly turned upwards.

He pressed his finger against her wrinkled inner walls, feeling the inner flesh of her vagina twitch with pleasure, then hooked his finger in her hole and lifted it as if masturbating her, and rubbed it back and forth, left and right, like licking with his tongue, putting his heart into the cunnilingus.

“Ahng! If you don’t know well, s-sorry, I, hnnng!”

Her entire vagina felt a tingling itch from tension and arousal. Her lower abdomen twisted, and her toes curled tightly. She clamped down on the intruding finger with her pulsating, twitching hole and asked. Even with her instinctive tightening, he seethed like a volcano about to erupt.

“Huh? Answer me, because I don’t know.”

He was incredibly sly. He had already given his reason to the dogs next door, yet his lips, wanting her direct answer, were mischievous. But his fingertips, dripping with affection, caressed her without falsehood.

“I think so.”

He chuckled at Yeon’s nonchalant reply. Then, he spat out a terrifying curse, saying he would feel relieved only after cutting off that bastard’s dick. He was furious that someone dared to shove that dirty thing into this narrow and beautiful hole.

“Fucking bastard, he knows what’s pretty.”

He muttered the embarrassing words that made her blush like a thug. Should she get angry, or should she try to calm him down? But she wasn’t in a position to calm anyone down right now. She was lucky if she didn’t go blind from the pleasure that felt like being beaten. Her body had already melted limply like seaweed soaked in water.

“I’m better, so don’t even think about that bastard’s hair. If you do, you’ll see.”

Now, she couldn’t even joke around. She felt like he would really do what he said. So, she couldn’t even make a lighthearted joke.

“But are you okay? You seem to have a fever than before.”

“...I’m, okay.”

Yeon roughly wiped her sweaty forehead and lifted her waist, which had been buried in the sheets. Without even noticing the outside window getting darker than before, Yeon crawled between the legs of the erect man.

Her body, which had grown hot, kept sinking into languor, but Yeon moved her body even more busily so that no distracting thoughts could enter her complicated mind.

As she pulled down his drawers, his cock, which had popped up, swayed greatly, unable to bear its own weight. Then, the cock, springing back up with elasticity, writhed with tangled blood vessels.

The tip of his glans, rising sharply like a precipitous cliff, was already soaked without exception, having leaked so much pre-cum. The ruggedly raised blood vessels here and there looked hard just by looking at them, as if wanting to ejaculate semen already.

Yeon was noticeably flustered by the volume of his cock, which was far more overwhelming than she had imagined. No, even if it was this big for that build, this was too much.

She glanced up at him. His two eyes, unreadable, were staring intently at her. Was he guessing what she would do, observing her every move closely? She was confident in meeting his expectations.

His magnificent glans made an enticing nod, asking to be sucked. Should she suck the glans first? She pondered for a very brief moment, but decided that the best thing was usually saved for last, so she would wet the base first.

In fact, wetting his cock with her saliva was like a matter of survival. No matter how much arousal fluid was overflowing from below her, she felt threatened by the insertion if the man’s cock wasn’t wet.

Yeon gripped the thick shaft and licked upwards from his balls to his urethra, pressing down on the blood vessels with the tip of her tongue. It was quite a distance from the root to the glans. Impatient, she gathered the pre-cum that flowed down with the tip of her tongue and licked it up. A fierce and wild stream of male fluid, resembling him, lured the female. As if scattering a pungent desire towards her.

“Uungh...”

She firmly closed her eyes and decided to just savor this hot sensation that wrapped around her tongue. She rounded her lips and sucked on the center of his glans, 쪽, 쪽, and simultaneously caressed the base, shaking it as if to draw up more pre-cum.

The urethra, clinging stickily to her tongue’s papillae and shuddering with pleasure, gushed out pre-cum, wanting to enter her throat.

Yeon suddenly felt fear at the thought of this enormous, imposing cock burying itself in her vagina, which was even narrower than her throat, and how it would thrash about.

The blunt, towering tip that occupied a vast space, and the shaft that extended down from it, no less wide, firmly rooted in his groin. Looking at it surging greatly with its root planted in his crotch was too much. No matter how much she thought about it.

But unlike her reason, her reckless heart pounded dizzily. The fear of the impending size was directly linked to her arousal. It wouldn’t betray her expectations, the erect cock swayed, boasting its glistening pre-cum.

Pre-cum alone could lead to pregnancy, so with that amount, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration. The amount of pre-cum it released was considerable, just like its size. She had really never had anything this big inside her before...

Yeon, suppressing the worry that had settled in one corner of her heart, gripped the cylindrical shaft with both hands and carefully wiped the urethra hole, which was covered in pre-cum, with her tongue.

The saliva pooling in her mouth and the man’s arousal fluid mixed deliciously, making a smacking, sticky sound that was quite lewd, but Yeon focused solely on sucking his cock as if she had almost lost her mind. She pushed aside any stray thoughts and decided to be faithful only to this moment.

She inserted her tongue up to the edge of his glans, shamelessly rolling it around and tasting it. Actually, she didn’t particularly like oral sex. But why was she so frantically devouring Cha Yi-hwan’s magnificent and bewitching cock right now?

Even the cock, which stuck heavily to her tongue, felt tight and snugly wrapped around it...

“Uungh, delicio, us, um, ungh.”

The more she lifted what was in her mouth with her tongue, the more impatient she became. Chuu, chwup, making plenty of sensual sounds, she looked up at him languidly, and the moment their eyes met, semen leaked from his urethra, unable to contain his lust.

Yeon pressed her lips directly to his urethra and sucked the small amount of leaked semen.

“Ahht, sh, you... Ah, cock, it’s driving me crazy, Jung Yeon. Wait a moment.”

Unable to endure any longer, she opened her mouth wide and shoved his cock deep into her throat. Using her entire mucous membrane, she sucked and licked his shaft as if to draw out its essence.

“Ungh, uuum.”

Without even realizing her hips were lifting up like a dog’s, she greatly pulled out what was in her mouth and then thrust it back in until her uvula ached.

His cock, so large it was hard to suck properly, was busy widening her throat and breaking through her mouth. She moved her head back and forth, smacking her lips, and lewdly moaned with his cock in her mouth. At that, his cock, nestled in her throat, throbbed frankly.

Ah, at the same time as the cock caress, her clit, which she hadn’t even touched, tingled intensely. It meant that even just rubbing her clit right now would lead to certain orgasm. She was about to go without even being penetrated. It was so absurd that her head was spinning.

Yeon, barely pulling out what she had been sucking, once again thickly spat saliva onto his glistening cock and spread it around. The saliva lewdly sliding down his cock pooled at his balls.

His delicious cock nodded greatly and trembled with excitement.

“Hoo, hoo...”

With one hand placed behind him, he leaned back precariously, enduring the intense pleasure as he slightly tilted his head back. Her gaze also wavered dizzily at the sight of his breathtakingly sharp jawline and the sensual arousal fluid flowing along the ridge of his glans.

Yeon climbed on top of him as he was and brought his glans to her vaginal entrance. She rubbed the glistening glans against her entrance, and then, with a hand wet with saliva, she rubbed her vaginal opening again in preparation for insertion. It was because of a perhaps unknown fear. She had to endure his imposing size.

“Haa, haa. I’ll eat you now.”

Her phone rang again. Mom, or Hyun-woo, or Eun-song. Whoever it was, she just wanted to put it aside for a while.

Eun-song, who liked Cha Yi-hwan. Would she become a sinner to Eun-song if she put this cock inside her? Eun-song, who had almost begged her to push things forward with Cha Yi-hwan. Today, she would become the villain without thinking about anyone else.

Yeon resolved to do so and lowered her waist, fitting her glans against her entrance.

“Ungh, ahng! Aah!”

Once she bit down hard on the flesh that rose like a fist at the tip, the rest of his cock was helplessly thrust in, contrary to her worries. The vaginal walls struggled to survive, widening and opening messily to imprint the shape of his cock.

What had entered was so large it felt like her vagina was being steamed. It had already filled the moist opening, swollen and ripe, to the point of bursting, and this wet club, his glans, was like a whip as it rubbed against her vaginal folds, going up.

She wanted to just rub her clit and masturbate coolly like this, but Yeon endured it. She didn’t want to rush the end of this pleasurable sensation.

She had been taking birth control pills to avoid interfering with the upcoming exam, but the fierce power raging inside her vagina was so strong that she worried about contraception.

“Ahhh! It feels so goo...”

Her waist arched back as if thrown by the insertion alone.

“Hoo... Jung Yeon, Yeon-ah. Damn it, what am I going to do with you? I feel like I’m going to die from pleasure. Huh?”

“Senior’s cock is reaching so far inside, ah...”

The pulsating blood vessels of his cock were directly pressed against and scratched her vaginal walls. The cock, piercing and scratching that deep place that nothing had ever filled before, made her limbs tremble just by being inside her.

A sharp pain and an intensely spreading pleasure, the white blank paper of her mind seemed to have been dyed a deep red. Just by insertion, they were already on the verge of climax. But both he and she instinctively knew that they were holding back ejaculation for the sake of orgasm.

Yeon, focusing on his cock, slid her hips back and forth. Chigeuk-chigeuk, as the momentum increased, his deeply inserted cock began to move in and out of her opened hole quickly.

As his glans, where lust was concentrated, slammed hard against her tender inner flesh, her legs fluttered and trembled like a bird that had lost its wings. A pleasure that couldn’t keep up with the speed drove her to the beginning of orgasm.

Her lust, having long since deviated far beyond the normal range, had broken its brakes. Her waist, betraying her will, shook involuntarily.

With a rough hand, he completely ripped off and threw away Yeon’s T-shirt, which was as good as not wearing anything. At the same time, his cumbersome top also flew somewhere under the sheets.

Yeon shook her hips like a dog, her breasts swaying lewdly, and greedily swallowed his firm cock. She didn’t even have the strength left to wipe away the drool.

The birthplace of lust, his cock was constantly sucked into that hole, and then pulled out all at once with the white foam created by friction. Their sweaty bodies were solely focused on that one act of devouring and being devoured.

“Ahhh... it’s big, big...”

“Your, hnn, pussy’s spread so wide, Yeon-ah. Huh?”

She shook her head, not caring about the underlying meaning of his question.

“Because my pussy’s tight, hnn! Yeah, it’s okay, aahng! Ah!”

He mumbled, looking at the battlefield with a feigned worried tone. Yet, he firmly supported her hips, afraid she would stop.

His cock swelled even harder, desperately enduring the heat of passion, but his patience directly led Yeon to pleasure. His bloodshot cock relentlessly scraped and rubbed inside her vagina, striving for her satisfaction.

His cock, ripe with passion, had ripened to a reddish hue, lost in the intense lust. It dug and brushed against the inside, and when it directly crushed a certain soft spot, Yeon couldn’t even breathe, her neck arching back as she gasped.

“Ahht, fuck, I’m going crazy.”

“Haah! Ah!”

Every time her eyes met his through her loosened eyelids, the speed of friction increased, and the war raced towards its peak.

“Chest, ahht, touch, me. Aah! Ang!”

In an instant, he grabbed her breasts, which were undulating like waves, and kneaded them until her nipples became taut. She shook her head as if unable to bear his fingertips that fervently pinched her nipples and tightly twisted them until they disappeared.

Unbelievable climaxes came every time his long cock thrust inside her. Every place his glans touched felt like a G-spot, and her body, flushed red, writhed with the sensation of orgasm.

“Ahht, ungh! Aah! Too...”

“Aren’t you going to ruin your pussy like this, you. Hnn. Ah.”

It shouldn’t hurt. His low voice scattered like a murmur, but it was buried in her heightened exclamation.

He helped her by gently bouncing his pelvis with his waist strength. Even while wandering the border between life and death in sensual pleasure, Yeon kept watch over his cock, lest it slip out of her body. A sticky, whitish foam wrapped around the base of the cock that was deeply buried in her.

“Not yet, ang! Don’t cum, hnn.”

“I won’t cum until you want me to, so don’t worry and eat my cock as much as you want.”

His tender voice felt like a sign of promise. Yeon decided to move her hips more roughly and powerfully, using that thrilling sensation as a side dish. Back and forth, and even left and right if necessary, she spat out the eaten cock and then rubbed it again to taste, thrusting it deep inside to the source of inner pleasure, and then poured out thick arousal fluid with satisfaction.

“Sen, ah, pai, glans, aahng! Ah!”

“Why, does my glans taste good? Is that right, Yeon-ah?”

“Ang! Thrust deeper, give it to me, ahht! Ah!”

“Fuck, my cock’s getting bigger. Jung Yeon. I’ll give you a lot of cum, so move slowly. You right now.”

“So delicious, ungh, sen, senior, hurry. Ahh!”

Aaaaah, she lost the rhythm and thrashed on top of him. Yeon, forgetting her embarrassment at the ecstatic satisfaction that made the hair on her head stand on end, let out moans and cries. Her legs kept spreading, and her heavy breasts, unable to keep up with the speed, swung painfully. Her firm buttocks bounced elastically in response.

Her scalp tingled at the naturally gifted cock that knew how to satisfy a woman. The movements of his cock, thrusting in and out, instinctively knowing where to scratch and rub, were truly bewitching and sensual.

“Cum now, cum! Ahht! Ang! Fa, faster!”

“Say it again. Again.”

“Hurry, aahng! I think I’m gonna cum, cum, fas, aah!”

The moment their deepest parts fiercely locked together and Yeon’s back arched, he released the strength he had been holding back in his cock and poured out his semen all at once. Yeon trembled and gasped like a tree branch caught in a typhoon.

“Aahng...!”

She placed both fingers on her clit, which was endlessly quivering at the peak of her orgasm. Rubbing her thrilling clit, she spread her legs wide.

In an orgasm that made her want to die right there, she forgot her embarrassment and touched her own vagina, which was in the midst of ecstasy. The edges of her hole, which were gripping his cock messily with milky foam, smeared at her fingertips. But in the end, unable to resist, her hand returned to her clit and fervently rubbed and caressed the roundness.

“Aungh, aah, haa...”

He was looking at her lewdly spread vulva with hot eyes. The sight of her absorbed in self-pleasure while still impaled by his cock. Yeon felt like her mind was melting at his sensual gaze that seemed to slap the back of her head.

“Hnn... feels good...”

“It’s a mess. Because of you. Everything’s a mess.”

She couldn’t think of anything. When she first decided to sleep with him, that was the only thing she wanted, but now, emotions she couldn’t explain with just one word swarmed and stirred her like a swarm of bees.

It was a long time before he pulled out his cock, which had been deeply rooted. His glans, ejected with semen, glistened lewdly with all sorts of fluids. Feeling empty, her eyes involuntarily went to the hole where his had been. The atmosphere between the two of them, as they silently watched the scene of the climax-condensed semen trickling down her perineum from the emptied spot, became strange.

Unlike her, who thought she would never mingle with him for life, was she in his imagination? Sex revolved entirely around her, almost making her suspect so. Like a reflex, every action he took originated from her. Every minute movement, every thrust of his hips, every drop of sweat, every cry of pleasure, without missing a single thing.

“What do you want me to do? Just tell me. Should I suck you like a dog, or...”

“Fuck me from behind.”

“I’ll fuck you, and then? Tell me everything you want.”

“And then, suck me.”

“Suck your pussy, and fuck you from behind. What else? What else, huh? Jung Yeon.”

“Everything... I ask you to do...”

Acting spoiled in a way that wasn’t like her, at her various requests, he thickly wiped the tears pooled under Yeon’s eyes. It seemed she had even shed tears during the pleasurable sex. Her embarrassment was fleeting, and she wanted to entrust her again-heated body to him. An absurd act that made her leave everything to instinct.

She couldn’t dare to deny it. Her mind and body felt like they would be shattered by this unbelievable sex that she hadn’t even imagined... He kept doing everything so tenderly, so she couldn’t help but act spoiled like this. Still, it felt good. Even so, his gaze was still on her, entirely on her, so she didn’t regret tonight.

Yeon turned around clumsily, lifted her buttocks, and pressed her upper body flat. Then, she pressed her pelvis tightly against his lower body, which approached like a magnet, and with her own hand, she grabbed his still erect cock and attached it to her hole once more.

Excited about the second round of sex to follow, she briefly lost her way and rubbed his glans against her perineum, but he directly grabbed her wrist and guided it to her hole. She could vividly feel the skin of his cock breathing hotly.

He teased her vaginal opening with his glans, entering the second round of preparation. The subtle air right before sex, where it was hard to even take a breath carelessly. Yeon anxiously had to rub only her tightened entrance due to tension. As his glans seemed about to enter but didn’t, relying solely on one hand for all sensation without even seeing her vagina, her heart melted.

“My pussy isn’t opening...”

“Shh, I’m not going anywhere, so take your time. Let’s spread your legs a little more.”

He helped her adjust her position, panting for easier mating, then snatched her shaft, licked up the trickling semen, and thrust his cock in as it was.

“Ah... aahng, shake your cock quickly. I don’t want to think about anything. Thrust all the way in and give me more...”

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you as much as you want. I’ll fuck you until my cock’s worn out if that’s what you want.”

He was sincere. His voice was as strong as this cock that thrust firmly into her.

“Ang! Ah, aahng! My pussy hurts.”

“Don’t lie. It feels good, doesn’t it? I won’t, be fooled, got it? Hnn.”

“Ahhh... ah, senior, Cha, Yi-hwan.”

Outside the completely darkened window, the pattering rain showed no signs of stopping.

________________________________________

“Hey, if you just send a text saying you’ll be late, won’t Mom worry?”

“I told her I was going to a get-together after volunteering today.”

“Still, even so. But are you sick? You don’t look good.”

Yeon barely moved her exhausted body towards the kitchen. She was thirsty.

Hwan, who had taken her home, turned his car around after lingering for quite a while, even though she had gestured for him to leave. Should she have thanked him anyway?

For what? For sleeping with her? Or for comforting her with his body? There were no words she could say either way. Her head throbbed. She filled a glass with cold water and gulped it down.

She finished the cup without even having the strength to swallow the water dripping from her lips. Her body felt hot, just as he had worried about her having a fever. Having sex in this state, she was sure to have a bad cold tomorrow. Ah, Yeon rubbed her sore throat, which had gone hoarse for no reason.

Leaving the kitchen, Yeon went to get her bag, which she had left by the front door. As she bent down, her head felt dizzy. She picked up the bag and straightened up. It was hard to keep her balance. She staggered like someone who had lost their sense of direction.

Thud, she dropped the bag and her body tilted to one side. Before she could even feel the pain of her head hitting something, her eyes closed.

“Yeon-ah!”

Her mother’s shouting voice echoed and faded away. She opened her eyes in the evening, a full day later.

Yeon blinked with difficulty, looking at the IV drip in the back of her hand. The cushioning of the pillow and the smells around her were unfamiliar.

It didn’t take her long to realize that she was in a hospital. A patient gown caught her eye. Had she been admitted? A fruit basket sat in the empty hospital room. Who had visited? Her head still ached.

She closed her eyes in the quiet silence when she heard the hospital room door open. It was a familiar scent. A faint smell of medicinal herbs. Hyun-woo. She couldn’t possibly not recognize the scent of this man she had desired so desperately as much as she had loved him for the past two years.

How had he come? Her mother didn’t know about her relationship with Hyun-woo, so she wouldn’t have asked her mother about her whereabouts.

Had he sent someone to find out? That seemed more likely. Yeon felt his quietly approaching presence with her eyes closed.

“Yeon-ah.”

He placed a hand on her forehead, tenderly stroked her cheek, and touched her nape. It was a familiar sensation, a touch she had known for the past two years.

“I’m not going to go through with that engagement. Yeah, you’re right. I was wrong. What’s so great about family, that I was even going to give up on love? Me. But I just went on a blind date with that woman. Nothing happened, nothing at all. What could have happened? It’s only you for me. I can swear, this is real. You know me, right? You’re the only one for me. So...”

He quietly murmured, as if making a confession, and clasped her hands.

“Please forgive me. Just try to understand my situation a little...”

He bowed his head deeply and remained silent for a long time, then she heard the hospital room door open once more.

“Who is it?”

“Ah.”

The man stammered, startled by his mother’s voice and standing up from his seat. He was choosing his words, or perhaps trying to explain the situation. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel his restless gaze. He was still trying to come up with excuses.

“Oh my, how did the acupuncturist get here...?”

“Ah, well, I had some documents to give regarding the lawsuit.”

“Oh, you could have just contacted our office for that. But how did you know she was here?”

“I called your secretary, and she said you were here. Well then, I’ll just leave the documents here and be going.”

Yeon bit her lip in misery. The man left the hospital room, leaving only his scent behind. He was still hiding her, hiding their relationship.

How could she trust a man who didn’t want to reveal her existence any further? How could she believe his words that he had broken off the engagement? Why couldn’t he confidently bring her out into the open? Yeon couldn’t pound her aching heart, so she just bit her lip until it bled.

He was still hesitating. He was weighing her against someone else.

It was right for her to let go of his hand first. Just as she had resolved.

Final exams were just around the corner. Students were beginning to dedicate themselves to the last end-of-semester exams. Yeon chose to study for her exams in the hospital room. She didn’t have the confidence to meet Hyun-woo, who would come with a complicated mind, nor did she have the confidence to see Eun-song. She planned to study quietly until her exams and then be discharged.

It was unexpected when Eun-song came to her hospital room that night. Eun-song, who had brought juice, looked apologetic, saying she had heard from her mother.

“I should have come sooner, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy preparing for exams.”

“No. Thank you for coming all the way here when you need to study.”

Actually, there was something she wanted to ask. Cha Yi-hwan. Was he doing well? She was just curious about how he was, but she was hesitant to ask Eun-song because that one word seemed like it would be given too much meaning.

Yeon had refused her mother’s offer to bring her phone first. Because both Hyun-woo’s and Eun-song’s contact felt uncomfortable. She thought it would be better not to have it in her hand. That’s why she felt even more uncomfortable and apologetic towards Eun-song, who was now in front of her. She tried to hide her confused feelings by forcing herself to ignore the awkwardness and offering a conventional greeting.

“How are the club members doing?”

“That volunteering was the end of it. After that, well, I haven’t seen their faces, so I don’t know about anyone.”

“I see.”

The desire to ask if Cha Yi-hwan was doing well reached the tip of her throat, but she was hesitant to ask first, so she just looked down at their clasped fingertips. Then, Eun-song brought up Yi-hwan’s name first.

“Senior Yi-hwan seems busy studying for exams. He asked you to go with him, but you refused, so I just came alone. He said you were too lazy to come.”

“...Is that so?”

So that’s how it was. It was something that could happen, he would be busy with exams, and he also had his own private life, so it was perfectly understandable, but she couldn’t figure out why her heart felt strange, as if she had been rejected.

Had she had a selfish and arrogant thought that he would drop everything and rush to her no matter what happened with his own life? Had that conceited and bad feeling that she was in a superior position because she was receiving unrequited love been subtly in her heart?

“Oh, right, I bought juice. Do you want some?”

Avoiding her eyes and shifting her gaze, she changed the subject of the conversation. Had he become an uncomfortable presence even for Eun-song now? There was nothing she could ask. It was because what had happened that day kept holding Yeon back.

“Here, these are the exam dates and classroom information. Study hard and let’s see each other on the exam day.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Still, she thought it was a relief that he was doing well. Yeah, who was she, there was no reason for him to put aside everything and rush all the way here. Yeon nodded, thinking that. Trying to understand someone was something she was used to.

And she couldn’t meet him even after taking the exam, until the final exams were over.

When the semester break began and she was in the final stages of preparing for the police exam, Eun-song said so. Cha Yi-hwan was leaving for a foreign country. It seemed he would finish his studies there. It seemed he wouldn’t be back for a long time.

Without even hearing the reason, they had reached the end. The end? Well, it wasn’t really the end. It was a relationship that hadn’t even started, so calling it the end felt strange.

Had his feelings for her cooled after just one night of sleeping together? Maybe so. She tried her best to shake off the thoughts. Even without him, she had many things to do and many things left to do.

Hyun-woo kept visiting for a while, and Yeon desperately avoided him. Even putting aside her relationship with Cha Yi-hwan, her relationship with Hyun-woo was one that needed to end.

She coldly pushed him away, asking how much longer they had to show each other such pathetic sides. Only after she drove the nail in with harsh words, saying please let’s stop now, I slept with another man, did he finally stop coming.

No one was left in that empty space. Not Hyun-woo, not Yi-hwan. Her heart, which had been fiercely clawed by a bout of hurt, didn’t have the room to hold anyone else.

She thought it was better this way. For the time being, let’s not think about anything. So, Yeon locked herself in the study room and focused only on studying. And she passed the police exam.

Time passed, but he still didn’t return, and Yeon met Myung-hyun.