Chapter 114: A Bond Sealed (2)

Qi Yin had seen her cry before. When she was little, she had shed tears in front of him a few times. But none of those moments were like this one.

She cried silently, her face showing no obvious signs of sadness. Her tears simply filled her eyes and then fell, one by one, landing on the back of her hand with soft plops .

Unable to bear seeing her like this, Qi Yin quickly walked over, sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled her into his arms. He gently wiped away her tears while trying to comfort her. But Lord Qi, despite his many talents, was not skilled at soothing others. Moreover, he himself was somewhat shaken. The illustrious Jiangzuo scholar-official, the examiner of the imperial examinations, found himself tongue-tied. After much deliberation, all he could muster was a dry “Don’t cry.”

Stop crying.

Don’t make me worry about you even more.

After months apart, they were finally together again. His tenderness and care for her were unprecedented, which should have brought her immense joy. Yet, her mind felt empty, and scenes of Yang Dong pinning her on the sitting bed replayed in her mind. She could still feel the clammy touch of his sweat-soaked hands on her skin.

She trembled with fear.

He noticed her trembling and held her tighter, as if trying to reassure her that he was there and she didn’t need to be afraid.

She understood him. As expected, he said, “It’s alright now. I’m here. No one will hurt you.”

Shen Xiling leaned against his chest, inhaling the faint scent of sweet flag from him. The blanket wrapped around her carried his fragrance, enveloping her entirely in his presence.

Finally, she began to relax, her tension easing. Her mind gradually cleared.

She mustered the strength to start thinking again.

She recalled the scene at Manager Feng’s memorial hall, the hatred in his wife and child’s eyes when they looked at her, the words Yang Dong had spoken to her, and her own helplessness and confusion throughout the day. Waves of powerlessness washed over her.

Suddenly, she felt weary and lost.

She leaned against Qi Yin. Her tears had been wiped away, but the sadness in her eyes remained, untouched by him. With little strength left, her voice barely above a whisper, she asked, “Master… do you know Manager Feng?”

Hearing the muffled voice from the girl in his arms, Qi Yin knew she had something to say.

In truth, he thought it best for her to stop thinking about it, take a bath, and get some rest. But he also knew there were things she needed to get off her chest. If she didn’t say them, she wouldn’t find peace.

Qi Yin sighed inwardly. Instead of stopping her, he softly replied, “The person you did business with?”

The girl in his arms nodded slightly, pulling the blanket tighter around her. In a small voice, she continued, “Yes, he was one of the first to work with me in the textile trade. He wasn’t particularly talented, but he worked hard… At first, our business struggled, but things improved over time. He never once considered leaving and always stayed by my side.”

Qi Yin nodded. “Then he was a good man.”

Shen Xiling murmured an affirmation. “Yes, he was good. A while ago, when the guild pressured me, they targeted him first, smashing up his shop. Even after that, he stayed with me and didn’t bow to the guild.”

At this point, her voice grew softer, tinged with bitterness.

“I don’t deserve such loyalty from Manager Feng,” she said hoarsely. “The guild oppressed him until he couldn’t even support himself, and I failed to protect him…”

Shen Xiling’s voice was as light as a feather.

“He died,” she said, as if speaking to him but also muttering to herself. “A living person, gone so easily… His only child is just eight years old—so young, younger than I was when my parents left me—and now I’ve taken his father away…”

She rambled on without much coherence. Listening to her, Qi Yin’s brows furrowed even more deeply.

He could feel how fragile she was, teetering on the brink of collapse.

He gently lifted her face with his hand, looking into her eyes. His tone was heavy as he said, “It wasn’t your fault. It was the guild’s bullying that left him with no way out. You did everything you could.”

Shen Xiling had always trusted him implicitly, ever since she was a child. Whatever he said, she believed. But at that moment, she didn’t.

She shook her head and frowned. “Master, today I realized something—a lesson I didn’t understand before but suddenly grasped. Do you know what it is?”

Qi Yin looked at her, his phoenix-like eyes darkening further.

“What?” he asked.

Shen Xiling smiled faintly, a cold, distant smile.

She answered, “To hold a position means to fulfill its responsibilities. People choose their paths and must bear the corresponding burdens. Sometimes it’s not about whether you can handle it or not—it’s about whether the responsibility is yours, and if it is, you have no choice but to carry it.”

She averted her gaze, no longer looking at him, and turned her face to the side. Her smile faded. “Perhaps there are no inherently despicable people. But to shoulder certain responsibilities, people are forced to become despicable—like me. I used to despise the guild’s methods, thinking they relied on power rather than fairness. I believed in living by righteousness, but I was wrong. My foolishness cost a life.”

“That Yang Dong is a wretch who deserves divine punishment, but there was one thing he said that was right.” Shen Xiling looked at Qi Yin again. This time, her eyes brightened, as if she had found some clarity. “He said that in commerce, the capable rule, no matter the means, survival is the only principle, and everything else is meaningless. He was right, wasn’t he?”

As she spoke, tears spilled from her eyes again, but she seemed unaware. Her bright eyes locked onto him, as if seeking an answer.

“Master, I should start changing, shouldn’t I?”

“I should change immediately, right?”

At that moment, she gazed at Qi Yin with such conviction, her eyes shining almost frighteningly. It was as if she would transform completely the moment he nodded, abandoning everything she once believed and becoming someone ruthless and unscrupulous, ready to shoulder the responsibilities she thought were hers.

But she didn’t know that at that moment, Qi Yin’s heart was churning with emotions beyond just pity for her. Something else stirred within him.

He thought of himself.

When he was younger, he had been the youthful状元 (top-ranked scholar) personally selected by the emperor. Entering officialdom at a young age, he had initially adhered to the teachings of Confucian virtues and moral integrity. But as he delved deeper into the complexities of the political world, he came to understand the murky depths of human nature and society.

Of course, he had heard the rumors about him—the nickname of “Arhat,” given not by his choice but because if he hadn’t acted as he did, not only would he have had nowhere to bury himself, but he might have endangered his family and country. Sometimes, it was simply an unavoidable necessity.

He had too many constraints. Even now, with all his power and influence, he still performed countless acts against his true desires every day. He didn’t revel in scheming or naturally enjoy manipulating others. If it were up to him, he would have chosen a simple, reclusive life like that of Scholar Bao Pu, free from worldly entanglements. But being in his position meant he had no choice but to act against his heart.

He knew how exhausting it was. Ultimately, he didn’t want Shen Xiling to follow in his footsteps.

She was someone with a pure heart—clever but not cunning, insightful yet unworldly. Even amidst the cutthroat competition of commerce, she maintained her principles, never greedy and never harboring ill intentions toward others.

He loved and cherished her exactly as she was, perhaps more than anything else in the world.

He didn’t want her to change.

“Wenwen,” he looked at her with deep eyes, his tone heavy. With one hand, he slowly wiped away her tears, and then said, “Don’t change.”

Never change.

Shen Xiling met his profound gaze, her brows furrowed, her eyes clouded with confusion. She asked, “How can I not change? If I don’t, how can I protect those who rely on me for their livelihood?—Even worse, I couldn’t even protect myself.”

“Like today,” Shen Xiling said bitterly, “I couldn’t even protect myself.”

As she finished speaking, Qi Yin’s brows knitted even tighter. His tone shifted, growing firmer. “This time was my oversight. It will never happen again.”

As he spoke, his expression turned cold, likely thinking of Yang Dong. A fleeting trace of lethal intent flashed in his eyes.

The reason he hadn’t killed Yang Dong earlier wasn’t due to any hesitation—it was simply because Shen Xiling was nearby, and he found it inconvenient.

He didn’t want her to witness such a thing, nor did he want her to see him kill someone. But though he hadn’t acted today, Yang Dong’s fate was sealed. Otherwise, how could he account for the harm done to his girl and the rage burning within him?

He wasn’t a deity or a sage, and he couldn’t remain perfectly calm at all times. In truth, the moment he pushed open that door and saw Shen Xiling being bullied, the string in his heart had already snapped. Now, he was merely forcing himself to stay calm for her sake. If she paid close attention, she would notice his abnormality—for instance, the hand not holding her was trembling slightly.

It was an overwhelming fear.

He was so afraid… of losing her.

But Shen Xiling didn’t notice Qi Yin’s unease at that moment. She remained caught on his earlier words, shaking her head with a bitter smile in his arms. “How can it be your oversight? It was my responsibility… Besides, afterward…”

She didn’t finish her sentence, her features growing even more subdued.

Afterward… they would part ways. He wouldn’t need to look after her anymore, and she would have to learn to protect herself.

Qi Yin didn’t fully grasp what she was thinking. His brows tightened further as he asked, “What do you mean, ‘afterward’?”

He asked earnestly, genuinely unsure of what she meant. Shen Xiling thought it pointless to explain further, fearing she’d come across as clingy, so she didn’t intend to speak again. But he persisted, asking her once more, as if determined to hear her response.

Shen Xiling moved slightly out of his embrace, tilting her face up to look at him. “Afterward… isn’t it time for me to get married?”

Qi Yin’s expression froze momentarily, as if hearing about her marriage for the first time—or as if the person arranging it wasn’t him.

And as soon as she moved out of his embrace and lost his warmth, Shen Xiling began to feel cold again. She wrapped the blanket tighter around herself, lowered her head, and avoided his gaze, lost in thought.

The mention of marriage brought back memories of what Yang Dong had done to her.

She was unfamiliar with intimacy between men and women—no one had ever taught her what it meant. Recently, when Qi Yin mentioned marriage, all she thought of were red candles, ornate headdresses, and grand ceremonies. She hadn’t considered how she would interact with the man who would become her husband.

Would her husband treat her like that?

Would he trap her beneath him, kiss her, tear at her clothes?

She trembled uncontrollably again.

She felt both afraid and wronged. If this was what marriage entailed, how was it any different from suffering? She couldn’t bear another man’s touch—not even their proximity.

She couldn’t accept it.

Not at all.

She realized she needed to tell Qi Yin directly about what she had been thinking for a long time.

Struggling to control her trembling, she looked down at the corner of the blanket and called out softly, “Master…”

Qi Yin heard the girl’s voice and looked at her. She was huddled under the blanket, her head bowed. Her voice was low as she said, “Can I… not get married?”

She paused, then raised her head to look at him, her eyes shimmering, eager to explain.

“It’s not that I want to stay out of obligation—I just don’t want to get married… Third Brother is kind, but I’m the problem. I… I can’t accept it…”

Her delicate, jade-like hand emerged from the blanket, wiping away the tears spilling from her eyes. The red marks on her wrist, left by Yang Dong, stood out starkly.

She continued, “I know I’ve caused you trouble, and I realize I’m no longer suited to stay at Fenghe Garden. I’ve already made plans—I’ve packed some things and will move out soon. But… Third Brother said you would give me a dowry to send me off to marriage. I don’t want a dowry. Could you… could you convert it into a shop for me instead?”

Here, she seemed to feel guilty, her expression awkward. Weakly, she added, “I’m not asking for charity. Once I settle down, I’ll repay you. Eventually, I’ll…”

Before she could finish, Qi Yin pulled her tightly into his arms.

He held her firmly, almost pressing her against his chest. His left hand gently rested on her right wrist, avoiding her wound, and he whispered in her ear, “No marriage.”

His breath was scorching.

“I will never let you marry anyone else.”

The moment those words left his lips, Qi Yin felt a profound sense of relief. The suffocating weight that had lingered in his heart since the polo match vanished instantly.

He had given up. He had abandoned the idea of letting her go.

He didn’t want her to marry anyone else. After three years of being together day and night, he knew her feelings better than anyone. And he realized—he had fallen for her.

Life had been so difficult for him. Every step required careful calculation, and very little truly belonged to him—or if it did, it wasn’t what he truly desired.

He wasn’t greedy. All he wanted was her. Yet even this single private wish was so, so hard to fulfill.

He had considered giving up for the sake of his family and the political landscape, sacrificing all his personal desires, even hurting her heart deliberately.

But it wasn’t as easy as he had imagined.

For three months, he had lived in suppression and pain. She thought he avoided Fenghe Garden to stay away from her, but in reality, he was avoiding himself—avoiding the selfish desire to be with her without regard for consequences.

But even when he didn’t see her, he still thought of her constantly. The accumulated documents in the Chancellary (Chancellery), the trivial affairs of the翰林院 (Imperial Academy), and the tangled conflicts in court couldn’t erase her from his mind. He still thought of her every day.

The more he distanced himself from her, the more he missed her.

The high wall he had built between them began to crumble. Through the cracks, he heard the voice within his heart.

He didn’t want her to marry anyone else.

At first, the voice was faint, like the debates he heard in the Chancellery. But it grew louder and louder until, after bursting through that door today, it became deafening.

… He couldn’t tolerate any man other than himself getting close to her.

Not even an inch.

Qi Yin held Shen Xiling tightly, as if embracing a treasure he had regained. He repeated in her ear, “Never again.”

I will never be separated from you again.

Shen Xiling didn’t know what Qi Yin was thinking at that moment. She only felt that his embrace was different from usual.

He rarely held her. The few times he had were when she was little, and those embraces were always gentle, distant, like those of an elder. Never had he held her so tightly, so fervently. But she didn’t have time to ponder the meaning of this embrace. All she heard was him saying he wouldn’t let her marry anyone else.

She felt a glimmer of happiness, thinking this was the only good thing that had happened in so many days.

She nodded in his arms and thanked him. After a moment of hesitation, she shyly asked, “What about the shop…?”

She barely started her sentence when his embrace loosened. He released her but remained incredibly close—so close that they could feel each other’s breaths.

She had never been this close to him before, so close that it felt as if they were one. He was usually composed and aloof, but now, drenched from the rain, he appeared less rigid. Still handsome, his phoenix-like eyes seemed even deeper, shimmering like snow-refined steel.

With that gaze, he said, enunciating each word clearly, “You stay here. You don’t need to go anywhere else.”

Shen Xiling was confused. Both his demeanor and his words puzzled her. Beyond this confusion, a faint, almost unbelievable thought crept into her mind, making her tremble even more.

She didn’t dare believe it was real, convinced she had misunderstood—just as before, when she thought he liked her, only to later hear about the marriage arrangement.

She didn’t want to indulge in wishful thinking again. Not only would it break her heart, but it would also burden him.

Shen Xiling tried to dispel the sudden surge of joy and trembling within her. With all the composure and calmness she could muster, she faced him, who was so close, and softly asked, “Not leave? Then where should I go?”

But the person she loved drew even closer, bringing her more flutters and shivers. Their breaths intertwined, their noses brushing against each other.

She heard his sigh.

He said, “Be with me…”

And then, he kissed her.

No one could describe what that kiss was like.

It came suddenly. Neither of them had anticipated it happening that night. Yet, it also felt so natural that they only hesitated briefly before being swept away by it.

They had both yearned for each other so deeply. The kiss began with a fleeting moment of restraint but quickly grew passionate.

Shen Xiling felt as if she had fallen into a dream, enveloped entirely by his presence. The mere realization that he was kissing her made her tremble with excitement. She had felt so cold, but now her entire body burned. She tilted her face to receive his kiss, clumsily returning it without any finesse.

Passionately returning it.

His kiss was scorching, nothing like his usual cool demeanor. He held her tightly in his arms, kissing her until her body went limp, unable to think or move. She could barely hold herself up, reaching out to cling to his shoulders, but still couldn’t support herself. Yet he always seemed to know everything about her. The instant she lost strength, his hand firmly supported her lower back, holding her as he kissed her. His palm was hot, searing through her thin clothes and branding her tender skin.

It was as if they sought to consume each other’s souls.