CS - 53

On the way back, Lin Zhexia fell asleep again for the entire ride.

They were on the last bus of the day, with very few passengers, and the entire bus was pitch black.

She had a very long dream.

In the dream, there were both her and Chi Yao.

The dream began when she got off the bus with Lin He. She looked up at the street sign for Nanxiang Street and then sat in front of the opposite building entrance under the scorching sun, feeling strange and irritable.

She heard the “click” sound behind her.

Immediately after, years of memories flashed by in reverse.

Finally, it stopped at Chi Yao, standing in a summer night filled with fireflies, looking at her.

When Lin Zhexia opened her eyes and got home after getting off the bus, she realized that at some point, a delicate silver bracelet had appeared on her wrist.

She didn’t know when Chi Yao had put it on her.

Probably while she was sleeping on the bus.

Lin Zhexia thought about that moment and regretted falling asleep.

Finally, she sighed and thought, “Never mind.”

Happy 18th birthday, Lin Zhexia said to herself in her heart.

Although the troubles of growing up came too quickly, the happiness seemed insignificant compared to those troubles.

Chi Yao’s transfer and moving happened faster than she expected.

In less than half a month, almost all the procedures were completed.

The house was sold quickly at a reduced price to expedite the sale.

Given its good location in Cheng’an District, many people came to view the property during this time.

The day after the house was sold, a large truck parked at the entrance of the neighborhood to transport some furniture and appliances that needed to be moved.

This house had been occupied by Chi Yao alone for many years, so there weren’t many things to move.

On the weekend, Lin Zhexia watched the truck parked at the entrance of Nanxiang Street for a long time.

Chi Yao’s home was soon emptied.

He Yang only learned about Chi Yao’s situation later. When chatting with Lin Zhexia, he could only offer a useless comforting remark: “Don’t worry, everything will be fine.”

There were rumors in the school.

After all, Chi Yao was a person who became the talk of the school on the first day of school, and suddenly transferring in such a crucial period as the start of senior year led to much private discussion.

“Is Chi Yao really transferring? So sudden.”

“What? Then I won’t see him when I pass by Class One anymore.”

“Aren’t you the one who thinks he has a bad personality?”

“Bad as it may be, his face is undeniable, pleasing to look at.”

“…”

That “bad-tempered” but highly noticed young man appeared at school for the last time not wearing the school uniform but an unusually conspicuous T-shirt compared to others, standing in the principal’s office waiting for his transfer documents to be stamped.

Old Liu had taught him for two years. Now, having to stamp these documents, he felt quite conflicted.

Before handing over the transfer papers, he couldn’t help but remind him: “If you have any issues over there, you can always come to me. It might be hard to adapt to the new environment initially… Don’t let the environment affect your studies. Teacher believes you’ll do well in the college entrance exam. Also, you have a talent for physics; don’t give up on your dreams.”

Chi Yao took the document and sincerely said: “Thank you, teacher.”

After getting the stamp, he went out. Xu Ting was leaning against the wall opposite the office, waiting for him.

Xu Ting lightly patted his shoulder: “Remember to come back and visit.”

Then, pretending to be relaxed, he smiled and said, “Good thing the school anniversary made Lin Shao persuade you to perform on stage.”

“In high school,” Xu Ting said, “I’m happy to have performed with you.”

Chi Yao didn’t say anything. When Xu Ting wanted to hug him, he rarely didn’t push him away: “I’m leaving.”

Soon, the seat by the window in the back row of Class One also became empty, like that house.

While Chi Yao was getting the stamp, Class Seven was having class.

Lin Zhexia stared at the blackboard, unable to focus.

She was acutely aware that Chi Yao was really leaving.

Chen Lin quietly observed her reaction and couldn’t help but worry: “Deskmate, are you okay?”

Lin Zhexia dazedly replied: “Fine.”

Chen Lin: “You don’t look fine.”

Lin Zhexia didn’t speak.

Fearing she was upset, Chen Lin and Tang Shuxuan bought her some snacks from the store during lunch break, including a lollipop.

Lin Zhexia took it and coincidentally found it was lemon-flavored.

She thought she had mentally prepared herself and believed she could face it bravely.

But as everything related to Chi Yao gradually disappeared from her life, she found it still difficult to bear, like an invisible hand had suddenly taken away something most important in her life.

She was like a fish suddenly out of water.

The whole world suddenly lacked oxygen.

Perhaps it was a subconscious avoidance of parting.

On the day Chi Yao packed up everything and left, she had promised to see him off. But the day before, she developed a high fever, received an IV at the hospital, and continued to sleep heavily at home.

“Mom,” before falling asleep, she reminded Lin He, “Wake me up when Chi Yao leaves.”

Lin He casually responded.

Lin Zhexia emphasized: “You must wake me up, even if I’m sleeping deeply.”

Lin He said: “Okay. Sleep a bit more. Your fever hasn’t gone down yet.”

In the end, Lin He didn’t wake her up that day because Chi Yao came to their house before the agreed time.

“Hayi, Wei Shu,” perhaps because he was leaving, the young man seemed a bit rushed. After entering, he said, “I’ve come to say goodbye.”

After a pause, he added, “And also to say goodbye to her.”

Having grown up together under their watchful eyes, Chi Yao was like a child raised alongside Lin Zhexia.

Lin He felt somewhat reluctant too. She and Wei Ping gave him many reminders.

“Will you be able to keep up with the studies over there? Auntie doesn’t know much about Jing City. Is the college entrance exam content the same?”

“Don’t put too much pressure on yourself,” Wei Ping interjected. “You’re still a kid. If there are things at home you can’t handle, don’t force yourself.”

As Wei Ping spoke, he took a card out of his wallet: “Uncle has…”

Chi Yao interrupted: “Wei Shu.”

Chi Yao struggled to say the next words: “…How can I use your money.”

Wei Ping realized his action was too rash.

He put the card back but couldn’t help saying: “Though Uncle’s ability is limited, if you need it later, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Chi Yao lowered his eyes, knowing it was goodwill, and didn’t say more.

After a moment, he asked: “How’s her fever?”

Lin He quickly replied: “It hasn’t gone down. Wait, I’ll go wake her up.”

“No need,” Chi Yao got up from the sofa. “Can I go in and see her?”

Lin He knew kids had things they wanted to say to each other. More than saying goodbye to her and Wei Ping, the person he most wanted to say goodbye to was Lin Zhexia: “Of course. Go in. We won’t disturb you. Say goodbye properly to Xia Xia. She knows you’re leaving and kept reminding me to wake her up.”

Chi Yao pushed open the familiar door.

In his memory, the first time he entered Lin Zhexia’s room was in elementary school.

One time after he got sick and returned from the hospital.

He had just finished his IV, with tape still on his hand, habitually taking a taxi back to his empty “home” alone, only to find Lin Zhexia squatting by his door waiting for him.

“You’re back,” the girl smiled when she saw him, not knowing how long she had waited. “Do you want to come to my place?”

The girl added: “I can play with you. At night, you can sleep with me too.”

…

Thinking about this, Chi Yao was distracted. After entering the bedroom, he glanced at the arrangement of the girl’s room. There wasn’t much difference from when she was little. The entire room was simple but warm. The pile of pink dolls she dared not refuse was neatly placed on the corner shelf, and next to the shelf was a row of bookshelves.

Lin Zhexia occasionally bought many classics on impulse, but in the end, these books were barely flipped through more than ten pages and then left untouched on the shelves.

The only books she finished reading were probably the few fairy tale books on the shelf.

His gaze shifted, and he looked at the snack bag she left on the desk, opened but unfinished.

Finally, he focused on the bed.

The girl was sleeping quietly, her hair messy, breathing shallowly.

But she wasn’t sleeping peacefully. Her brows were furrowed, and occasionally, she muttered faintly in her dreams.

In the living room.

After seeing Chi Yao enter, Lin He was about to go into the kitchen when the door was knocked again.

This time, He Yang stood at the door: “Hayi.”

After greeting, He Yang peeked and asked: “Are they together? I came to see Chi Yao off but found no one at his house.”

Lin He said: “Yes, I’ll call them for you.”

He Yang whispered a “shh”: “No, Hayi, I’ll sneak in. I want to hear what they have to say behind my back. Usually, when they form their own group, it’s fine.” He became angrier as he spoke, “At a time like this, they actually leave me out.”

He Yang deliberately walked softly, reached the door, and slowly pushed it open a crack.

Though he said it, he didn’t intend to eavesdrop. Just as he was about to clear his throat as a signal, he accidentally glimpsed the scene inside through the crack—

Summer sunlight filtered through the curtains.

The girl was sleeping soundly on the bed. The young man stood by the bedside, bending down with one hand supporting the pillow beside her. The distance between them closed rapidly, so close that their lips were separated by only a short distance, far away it looked like they were about to kiss.

When the young man looked down at her, his pupils darkened. In a posture akin to submission, he bowed his neck, his fingers tense with restraint. Finally, he maintained this distance, paused for a moment, and didn’t lean closer.

After what seemed like a long while, his throat moved, and he retreated slightly. When he bent down again, a restrained and gentle kiss landed on the girl’s forehead.

He Yang inwardly cursed.

Relying purely on instinct, he gently closed the door, restoring it to its original state.

Only then did his brain sluggishly begin to process.

Chi Yao nearly kissed Lin Zhexia just now.

He intended to kiss her.

They almost touched lips.

……

He Yang had lived for so many years, but never had he felt as utterly bewildered as he did at this moment.

Chi Yao—his good brother. Lin Zhexia—also his good brother. Chi Yao and Lin Zhexia—they were practically inseparable brothers.

If given the choice, he would rather believe he was dreaming.

But after the initial shock, He Yang slowly began to recall many subtle details that were hard to notice before.

——”Why are you suddenly working out? How long have you been secretly training these abs?! Being handsome is one thing, but secretly training your abs too? That’s just unfair.”

That was He Yang’s outraged shout when he caught Chi Yao exercising back in middle school.

But he forgot that just before that, Lin Zhexia had almost been bullied by a group of rowdy vocational high school students near their neighborhood.

They had been cornered by those students, completely powerless to resist.

——”…It’s not like I’m crazy. There are so many girls in the world—I could like anyone, but it definitely wouldn’t be Xia Ge. Right?”

Back then, He Yang had casually said those words, but Chi Yao hadn’t responded.

Based on Chi Yao’s usual behavior, he should have mocked him with something like, “Who would ever like Lin Zhexia?” But he didn’t. Instead, he simply told him to scram.

And then there was this:

Upon reflection, Chi Yao only really cared about replying to Lin Zhexia’s messages.

He was unusually biased toward her.

Someone who usually couldn’t care less about others’ feelings was strangely sensitive to the fact that “something seemed off about Lin Zhexia.”

There were many such details.

——”You can borrow my hand.”

——”You can Photoshop it.”

……

How much water must have gotten into his brain back then for him to think that Chi Yao might have had ulterior motives toward him?

But after the shock wore off, He Yang realized why this person had been able to hide his feelings for so many years.

Because if there was anyone he shouldn’t have fallen for, it was Lin Zhexia.

The same Lin Zhexia they had grown up with since childhood.

Just as he had said back then: There are so many girls in the world; he could like anyone except Lin Zhexia.

He Yang stood by the door, still unsure how to go in, when Lin He asked from behind him, “Not going in?”

He Yang deliberately took a few steps back and said loudly, “Auntie He, I’ll wash my hands in the bathroom before I come in. I don’t know what I touched earlier—it’s all sticky.”

By the time he finished pretending to wash his hands and came out, Chi Yao had just exited Lin Zhexia’s bedroom.

He Yang continued his act of ignorance: “Are you guys done talking?”

Chi Yao: “She was asleep. We didn’t talk.”

He Yang’s reaction was so natural that he even fooled himself, almost believing he hadn’t seen anything just now.

He Yang: “Oh. I thought you two were secretly sharing some little secrets behind my back, so I rushed over. Turns out you didn’t say anything.”

Later, He Yang saw Chi Yao off to wait for the car.

At the moment of farewell, everyone thought there would be so much to say.

But in reality, farewells often happen in silence.

Like Lin Zhexia, who wasn’t woken up.

And like the few words exchanged between him and Chi Yao.

He Yang patted his shoulder: “Take care, bro.”

“…” Chi Yao coldly replied, “Anyone would think I’m heading to my death.”

He Yang chuckled: “What are you talking about?”

After saying that, he stood under the street sign of Nanxiang Street and sighed, “It’s hard to imagine that the first time I met you was back in elementary school.”

Though back in elementary school, he and Chi Yao were like oil and water.

At that time, He Yang considered himself the boss of the neighborhood and wanted Chi Yao to be his lackey. But he didn’t expect this frail-looking guy to have such a sharp temper.

Later, Lin Zhexia, the “tigress” who always protected Chi Yao, appeared.

“Come back when you have time…”

He Yang paused mid-sentence, realizing that the house had already been sold. The word “come back” felt somewhat awkward now.

He finally said, “Come visit us.”

Lin Zhexia had been preoccupied and didn’t sleep for long, but by the time she forced herself awake, Chi Yao had already left.

She rushed out but heard Lin He say, “Chi Yao came by our place once and even went into your room to see you. I thought you two had already talked.”

She stood downstairs, the scorching sunlight making the air unbearably hot.

The cicadas kept chirping.

• You’re gone?

• Why didn’t you wake me up?

• You even… came in. Why didn’t you wake me?

• I wanted to see you off.

She squatted downstairs and sent Chi Yao a message. After a while, he replied:

• You’re not very smart to begin with.

• If you don’t rest while you’re sick, it’ll affect your IQ.

Lin Zhexia: …

Even after leaving, this guy still couldn’t resist taking a jab at her.

But this familiar way of speaking somehow made her feel a little less sad.

Lin Zhexia: Are you on the bus yet?

Chi Yao: Yeah.

Lin Zhexia: Then… have you eaten?

Chi Yao: Yes.

After a meaningless chat, Chi Yao urged her to go back to sleep.

Lin Zhexia returned and slept heavily for an entire day.

When she opened her eyes again, she realized she had to start a brand-new life without Chi Yao by her side.

On the surface, she seemed completely unaffected. She still joked around cheerfully with Lin He and told Wei Ping that she was actually a bit overwhelmed when she received his birthday gift. Every morning after breakfast, she went to school. He Yang would wait for her at the station, but after he got off, the two stops between Experimental Affiliated High School and Cheng’an No. 2 High School were hers alone to endure.

The bus was crowded, the scenery outside the window bustling, everything lively.

At first, Chen Lin and Tang Shuxuan didn’t dare to talk to her about Chi Yao, fearing it would upset her.

But surprisingly, Lin Zhexia would bring him up herself: “Chi Yao has already arrived in Jing City. His new school is a key school there, but the management is very strict—they don’t allow phones during school days.”

“He was selected to participate in the physics competition in Jing City.”

“…”

Despite all these things related to Chi Yao, they gradually became irrelevant to her.

Outwardly, she seemed no different from before.

Except that she suddenly started studying like her life depended on it.

Before, Lin Zhexia had been serious about studying, but she wasn’t particularly fond of thinking deeply. She had a laissez-faire attitude, easily giving up on problems she didn’t understand.

After Chi Yao left, her world seemed to revolve solely around studying.

Without any other entertainment, she would politely decline when Chen Lin and Tang Shuxuan invited her to hang out on weekends: “You go ahead. I want to stay home and do some problems.”

This summer passed quickly. In the blink of an eye, the end-of-year exams for the second year of high school were over, followed by the summer vacation, and then they entered their third year. Amidst the busy study schedule of the first semester of senior year, the season quietly shifted to late summer.

At first, Lin Zhexia and Chi Yao chatted every day.

But due to the strict management at Jing City’s school and Chi Yao having to juggle between school and the hospital, their communication frequency gradually decreased from once a day to once every few days.

Although Lin Zhexia had jokingly said on her birthday that she hoped he would send her fifty messages a day, she knew he was busy and didn’t want to disturb him too much.

She would only chat with him briefly on weekends.

One weekend, the temperature began to drop. She wore her autumn jacket, finished several practice tests, carefully checked her answers, and clarified her mistakes before opening her phone and tapping on the cat-shaped profile picture.

• Chi Yao

• I was amazing today

• I finished three sets of practice tests, and my estimated scores were all above 120 points

• Give me half an hour—I want to hear your praise for your awesome friend.

Before the half-hour was up, she sent another message: By the way, a new bubble tea shop just opened across the neighborhood. I’ll treat you…

She instinctively wanted to type “I’ll treat you.”

But before she could finish, she realized she couldn’t treat him like before.

Many times, she would do things like this—things she knew he wasn’t around for but still reflexively thought they could do together.

She deleted those words and retyped: I’ll give you a chance—you treat me.

After a while, Chi Yao actually sent her a red envelope with money.

Lin Zhexia tapped “refund”: Just kidding.

Lin Zhexia then asked: What are you doing right now?

Chi Yao: At the hospital.

Chi Yao: Heading back to school later.

For the first time, Lin Zhexia found herself at a loss for words and simply replied with an “oh.”

In autumn, a new family moved into the apartment across the building—the one she used to be most familiar with.

On the day this family moved in, Lin Zhexia, for some inexplicable reason, went over to take a look.

The female homeowner, standing at the door with her child, looked at her curiously: “Little girl, do you need something? Who are you looking for?”

Lin Zhexia, clutching a certain key hidden in her palm, stood at their doorstep, stunned for a moment before saying, “Sorry.”

The lock on the door had been replaced with a brand-new electronic one.

The key in her hand was now useless, and she no longer had a reason to enter.

She took a step back: “I… must have gotten the wrong floor. Sorry to bother you.”

As she walked downstairs, the autumn wind hit her.

She realized that the loud chirping of cicadas from summer had disappeared without her noticing.

In that instant, Lin Zhexia thought: The summer she believed would last forever had finally come to an end.

Summer seemed to be over.