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Chirp, chirp.
The clear sound of birds chirping rang in my ears.
As the sound urged me to wake, I slowly lifted my eyelids. Lying on my side facing the window, I blinked repeatedly.
My whole body was without strength. A raw ache, like muscle pain, pressed down on every part of me like a rock.
My legs, spread haphazardly, throbbed terribly, as if proving they had been overworked all night. Furthermore, my belly still felt a foreign object, as if a huge pillar was lodged inside, an undeniable discomfort.
I slowly raised my upper body. Only then did I realize that the man’s cock was still inside me. That was the cause of the unpleasant foreign sensation.
I didn’t know when I had fallen asleep, but even in the brief moments I had woken up in the early morning, my stepfather’s lovemaking had continued.
<If I cum inside you, your pussy will tighten nicely. Got it?>
<Heuk, haat, aah...!>
<If even one drop leaks out, you’ll eat it with your upper mouth, you hear?>
His rough voice echoed strongly in my ears, just like what was happening now.
Last night, my stepfather had truly been like a beast driven mad by lust.
As I subtly moved my body, the thick root that had been lodged deep inside me slowly revealed itself and then popped out with a plop. Perhaps it had served as a kind of plug, as something gushed out of my vaginal walls.
I felt a cold sensation as something leaked from my open lower opening. I gripped the sheets and looked between my legs. The fluids I had secreted all night and his semen were completely mixed and dried.
I slightly spread my thighs and slipped a finger into my secret area. When I inserted about two joints and stirred, there was a squelching sound, and a milky liquid smeared around my fingertip. When I bent my finger and scraped it out, a whitish liquid, like urine, oozed out in clumps.
A sigh involuntarily escaped my lips. I couldn’t even guess how much of his fluids were pooled inside me.
Covering the stark scene with the sheet, I covered my forehead as if facing despair.
‘I’m crazy, Rosen.’
It was a truly painful moment of realization of the choice I had made last night.
It was as if I had momentarily lost my mind.
Otherwise, how could this be possible?
I hadn’t even drunk alcohol, so why on earth had I committed such reckless and foolish acts?
I had no energy to check on Barque, who was lying asleep behind me, nor the courage to face my mother as usual. At this moment, I only felt a bleak desire to become dust and disappear from this world. My situation was truly a bottomless pit with no way forward or backward.
While I floundered in despair, I suddenly felt a hand slip under the sheet and caress my thigh. Startled, I lifted my head, and immediately the presence of a large figure covered my back.
Barque, who had woken up sometime ago, kissed my cheek.
“Did you wake up?”
My heart sank at his affectionate gesture, as if he were treating a lover.
When I didn’t respond, Barque began to nibble on my earlobe. The sensation of his teeth sinking into my delicate flesh was ticklish, and I couldn’t help but turn to look at him.
He licked my chin and pulled the sheet I was clutching like a lifeline. My barely concealed chest and vulva were completely exposed.
Barque’s hand suddenly grabbed my left breast. He squeezed it so much that flesh bulged between his fingers, then released it and rubbed my nipple between his index and middle fingers. Perhaps because it had been overworked all night, the blatant gesture was accompanied by a stinging pain rather than pleasure.
My body, which had been heated all night, couldn’t cool down so easily. “Eueut,” I reacted sensitively and grabbed his wrist as if to stop him. After swallowing my dry saliva, I barely opened my throat, which felt tightly stuck and unwilling to part.
“Father.”
The hand that had been lewdly fondling my breast stopped abruptly.
The name I had called out all night until my throat was hoarse had been replaced by a polite title, as if it had been a midnight dream.
“Yesterday... was a mistake.”
Unable to bring myself to look at him, I fixed my gaze on the floor and continued my excuse.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I, I...”
“What’s the problem now?”
Unlike the soft pecks on my cheek, a forceful grip seized my chin.
“You enjoyed all you wanted to enjoy, so why are you ruining my mood from the morning?”
His eyes, when they met mine, were as cold as a sharp wind blowing in the dead of winter. It was raw evidence that he was in a very bad mood.
“Father.”
“That’s rich. You were calling my name and moaning just fine yesterday.”
A shard of sarcasm, like broken glass, hung on Barque’s lips.
As I couldn’t say anything in my confused state, Barque tilted his chin and licked my lips lengthily. His sticky tongue left a messy trail of saliva, as if announcing its path.
He deeply sucked on my lower lip and then released it, murmuring as if sighing.
“You like me too, don’t you?”
I like this man.
In fact, that was an undeniable truth. From the first time we met, I had been captivated as if my reason had been dragged away by its very roots, and because of that, I felt pleasure beyond measure every time we were intimate. Unlike my reason, which repeatedly told me no, my body paradoxically welcomed his touch with extreme enthusiasm.
But now, with my mind a little clearer, a red warning light flashed uselessly. The conscience and guilt that had been dulled by the pleasures of the night were reviving with the rising sun.
“I mustn’t interfere with Father and Mother’s marriage. I have to help them... be happy.”
Hearing my words, Barque made a face as if he couldn’t believe it. Well, remembering me acting like a seductress yesterday, it was probably quite absurd to him. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he felt like he was dealing with a completely different person with the same face.
Forcing myself to ignore his feelings, I composed my expression as calmly as possible, hoping that my sincerity would be conveyed as much as possible. It was a face completely different from the state of the bedroom, which looked like it had been through a war.
“Saying things like that, and yet you were under me, writhing with pleasure?”
But the composure I had painstakingly created shattered with the one word he uttered.
“You didn’t drink, and there were no other issues, so if you’re going to spout nonsense about not remembering, you should just shut up.”
He brought his handsome face close to mine and murmured, as if chewing each word.
“We had sex yesterday with clear minds.”
His resolute tone, as if cutting off all the escape routes I might look for, reminded me that he was a thorough commander of the national army. I was like a small animal caught in the snare he had set, unable to move.
I couldn’t even argue.
It was me who couldn’t hide my true feelings yesterday and pulled his neck first, and it was me who spread my legs wide to facilitate the act. Regardless of the sex we had before, yesterday I was just as active as he was.
“You liked it too, sucking my cock deliciously with your lower hole.”
Barque’s hand suddenly grabbed my thigh and slipped inside the secret triangle. I flinched and trembled sensitively as his fingers dug into my throbbing flesh and stirred inside.
“This is still left from what I spilled inside you.”
“Ah, heut.”
“And yet you call it a mistake? Don’t make me feel like shit.”
Barque was like a personification of greedy desire.
He never showed the slightest hesitation in revealing his instincts. From the moment I appeared before him, that is, from the moment my existence began to arouse dizzying sexual desires, he had reached out to me without hesitation.
If there was anyone who understood this situation as well as I did, it was him.
A man who had just welcomed his new bride a little over a week ago. Yet, he didn’t seem to feel the slightest bit of guilt for having lewdly rolled around in bed with his bride’s daughter.
“Yesterday, you asked if I slept with your mother,” he said, suddenly pulling me onto his lap.
The hot, thick flesh rubbed against my naked, spread legs. But right now, I had no time to react to the blatant friction. His casually uttered words painted my mind white.
In that instant, a scene unfolded in my imagination of my stepfather and mother entangled lewdly on the bed. Her soft nakedness beneath his body, as hard as iron yet beautiful like a masterpiece of muscle, being conquered...
My heart sank.
A subtle feeling of unease twisted within me. The emotion rising in my chest felt like disappointment, perhaps betrayal. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn’t positive. Grayish emotions lined up like a muddy swamp, making my nerves feel stiff.
However, what was truly confusing was that I couldn’t tell which of the two in my imagination these feelings were directed towards.
My beloved mother?
Or the man who shook me... this man?
“I haven’t even held her hand properly, let alone slept with her.”
Barque’s heavy voice sliced through my dark imaginings.
Beyond the scattering images, my emotions also dissipated like mist. I looked at him with a fading gaze.
“In the first place, I can’t even get hard with any other woman but you.”
He cupped my cheeks with his palms and whispered. The warmth of his hands on my skin was vivid, just like his usual demeanor towards me.
“I thought I had strong self-control, but after meeting you, I realized I’m nothing of the sort. Just looking at you makes my lust surge so much that I want to spread your legs open right then and there, no matter where we are, and fuck you until my cock bursts.”
Crude words that I couldn’t bear to hear without frowning.
As if to plead that his words were true, Barque pressed his stiff cock tightly against my vulva and rubbed it. Even at this moment, his lust, as if he was going crazy to insert himself, shimmered like heat haze in his eyes.
I was not unaware of his ardent feelings. Rather, remembering the night that had burned like fire, I keenly felt it. Nevertheless, what I couldn’t accept was that the guilt towards my mother was also vivid in my heart. The image of her in a white wedding dress, standing beside the man, flickered on my retina.
With a feeling of wanting to cry, I grabbed his shoulders and spoke in a subdued voice.
“Why my mother of all people, why did you marry my mother...?”
The first man I had ever fallen for in my life.
He was extraordinary from the start, a man who had captivated me with his unique, unapproachable aura. That man had married my mother. He had done it. It had become a relationship that could no longer be reversed.
Barque tilted his head and rubbed his lips against mine.
As if sensing my wavering heart, like a reed in the wind, he didn’t scold but whispered softly, coaxingly.
“It won’t be difficult. Just like we’ve been doing, as long as Sillian doesn’t find out, it’ll be fine.”
The sound of my mother’s name coming from his lips was so unfamiliar that goosebumps, like tiny pebbles, rose on my skin.
“As your father, I swear to fulfill my duties as a husband so that Sillian won’t feel neglected.”
Superficially, it was a typical stepfather’s statement that seemed perfectly normal. For a moment, he seemed so devoted to my mother that a sense of warmth spread through me.
But looking at his actions of fondling my buttocks and sucking my breasts, it was truly depraved. Didn’t it remind one of a dirty, damp swamp nestled beneath blooming lotuses?
However, I couldn’t purely condemn his actions. Sadly, both my feet had already sunk deeply into that swamp.
But it’s alright.
I can still pull my feet out of this sticky, clinging swamp. If I come to my senses now and correct this twisted relationship, it’s not too late.
“So, Rosen.”
He met my gaze intently, as if urging me to continue this wrong relationship. His temperament, which was much milder than when he had called me his, was proof that he was trying to appease me.
As I hesitated, biting my lip, he scattered light kisses on my chest.
“Eueut...”
The atmosphere became dangerously charged, to the point where lovemaking could resume at any moment.
Barque leaned down to suck my nipple. I barely grasped the reason I was about to lose again to instinct, and blocked his approaching lips.
“...I’m sorry.”
He was an incredibly seductive man. So, if I continued to be physically close to him, my reason would lose its mind and be dragged along. The desire to continue this absurd relationship would also grow.
That’s why it was dangerous.
The risk of continuing the relationship between me and my stepfather was too great to bear any longer. The unhealthy relationship between him and me would surely hurt my mother.
“I can’t betray Mother.”
I got off his lap and slipped out of bed. For a moment, I felt a sense of relief, as if I had escaped his domain. Now, I couldn’t even tell what my own heart wanted. Whether I wanted to be bound to him or to escape.
Only one thing was clear.
I must not ruin this marriage.
Unable to muster the courage to meet his eyes, I stubbornly fixed my gaze on the floor. But no matter how long I waited, I didn’t hear a reply from him, so I cautiously raised my head.
And I immediately regretted that action.
Barque was staring at me with eyes as cold as a blade. The skin where his gaze landed felt searingly painful. Like when he saw through my heart, it was a gaze that intensely urged me.
Looking at him, I felt like I would succumb again, so I bit my lower lip tightly and bowed.
“Let’s... let’s have a relationship from now on that we can be proud of in front of Mother.”
A normal relationship where I wouldn’t feel guilty even in front of my mother. A stepfather and stepdaughter who were just becoming family.
That’s what I wanted.
The man, who had his arms crossed and was leaning against the headboard, chuckled as if to say, “Does that even make sense?” The mocking sound pricked my heart like an arrow.
I knew it. He was probably asking how we could be proud in front of her now, after having slept together more than ten times. He and I had already crossed a river of no return.
Pretending not to notice the sarcasm implied in his mockery, I slowly turned my feet.
“You won’t regret it, will you?”
Clink. I heard the sound of him rummaging through a drawer.
Contrary to his casual tone, the content felt somehow chilling. It sounded exactly as if I would definitely regret rejecting him today...
I subtly turned my body. Barque, already with a cigar in his mouth, was watching me. In the hazy smoke, his deep-sea eyes gleamed. With my shoulders hunched as if shrinking, I hesitantly nodded. Only the speed was slow; there was no hesitation.
Nevertheless, I hesitated, feeling a subtle, lingering unease, just as I was about to grab the doorknob.
“Just try to endure it. No matter what happens, I will...”
“......”
“...have an affair with you.”
My heart sank bleakly at those words.
This time, I couldn’t bring myself to look back at him and fled the temporary bedroom as if running away.
In the study, the clothes he and I had taken off last night lay scattered like discarded shells. Afraid someone would see, I quickly gathered my dress and underwear and turned to hurry out of there.
Suddenly, I discovered a neatly placed box on the table. I hadn’t even noticed it last night when he and I were intensely rubbing against each other.
The ivory-toned box, decorated with a red ribbon, was clearly a gift. Only then did I realize that this was the gift the man had bought for me. After all, the purpose of my visit here last night was to receive this.
It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t curious about what was inside. But fear outweighed my curiosity. I was afraid it might contain another trial that I couldn’t handle.
I wanted to receive that gift when Barque and I had a truly clean father-daughter relationship, free of impurities. So, I suppressed my curiosity and quietly left the study.
When I returned to my bedroom, boxes were piled high on the table. Without needing to call anyone to confirm, I knew these were gifts my mother had prepared for me. Earlier it was my stepfather, now it was my mother.
I swallowed hard and opened the largest one.
“......”
Inside was an incredibly beautiful red dress. Mother often said that my vermilion eyes would look very good with such a red dress.
I reached out and touched the hem of the dress. The material was endlessly soft and fine, representing my mother’s love for me.
I should have made my debutante appearance last year when I turned of age, but due to my status as an illegitimate child, I had never appeared in society due to my grandfather’s strong opposition. I had always lived as the Marquis’s illegitimate child, shrinking in a dark corner.
My mother clearly wanted to give me confidence.
“How could I ever...”
Betray someone like you.
I chastised myself for having been momentarily blinded by love and covered my face with both hands. A self-loathing deeper and more dizzying than guilt washed over me like a tidal wave.
* * *
A week had passed since the day I had given Barque what amounted to a notice that we should stop our impure relationship.
Unlike how he had clung to me, mentioning regrets, my stepfather had thankfully acted without incident. He occasionally exchanged words at meals, devoted himself to official duties all day, and sometimes went horseback riding. At least to others, he seemed no different from usual.
He no longer reached out to me with secret touches, and we were never left alone together in a narrow, enclosed space. Of course, the latter was only possible because I desperately avoided it.
Barque Estellan had obtained the title of Count through his marriage to my mother.
It was already remarkable that he had risen to knighthood and then become the commander of the imperial army with a commoner’s past, but now that he had even become a noble, it was natural that he would be the center of everyone’s attention.
According to my mother, there had been some kind of deal between His Majesty the Emperor and my grandfather for him to receive the title.
Barque had gained a noble title in exchange for marrying my mother, and my mother had thrown off her lowly status as an unwed mother. It was a mutually beneficial outcome in its own way.
Now he was Count Estellan, not Lord Estellan, and a celebration party for his title conferment was scheduled for tomorrow. The location was his mansion, where I was staying.
“Rosen. Are you really not going to make your debut?”
During tea time, my mother asked me. Her eyes were full of regret. My mother had wanted me to make a proper debut at this party. The red dress she had bought on their honeymoon was also for that purpose.
“Yes.”
But I said I wouldn’t.
I, who was not even a noble and had half of commoner blood flowing through me, had no intention of showing myself to anyone. Moreover, my heart was uneasy due to the subtly twisted relationship with Barque, and I didn’t want to bother with unnecessary matters.
I simply wanted to watch from my place as my mother’s marriage continued smoothly.
“Barque will be disappointed too.”
My mother, who had been looking at the garden scenery, said casually, and I momentarily held my breath. Even before the wedding, my mother had maintained a stiff tone, calling him “Lord Estellan,” but after their honeymoon, she occasionally called him more affectionately.
Every time I personally felt that seemingly closer change, I involuntarily imagined my mother and stepfather entangled lewdly on the bed. Barque had clearly said that he had never been intimate with my mother, but my mind kept creating bad fantasies. Every time those fantasies arose, the unpleasant feeling, as if my stomach was churning, was also excessively vivid.
“I’m, just.”
I clutched the teacup filled with black tea, trying to speak calmly. From some point on, even just thinking of that man in front of my mother made me feel like I was committing a sin.
It was self-reproach for not having endured a moment’s emotion and accepting him.
“You don’t have to worry about it.”
My mother stroked my cheek and murmured how could that be. Her love felt too strong, so I could only smile without saying anything.
After the cozy tea time, I returned to my bedroom.
While organizing the books I had brought from the study last night, the ivory box neatly placed on the table suddenly came into view.
The gifts my mother had prepared for me had already been organized, either worn or stored away. The remaining one was the box I had seen in his study the day after I had succumbed to my instincts and accepted Barque.
The very one that my stepfather had specially prepared for me.
In fact, it had been in my room for three days, but I had deliberately not touched it. The relationship was still too unstable to fully accept his gift.
But honestly, I was curious.
A gift bought by the man I had fallen for at first sight, thinking of me. It was only natural for a woman to be curious about what it was.
I stood there in a daze for a moment, contemplating, then slowly reached out my hand.
‘I’m just checking. Just checking.’
Because later, my mother might suddenly check if I had seen the gift he gave me.
Rationalizing like that, I carefully opened the lid of the box.
The first thing that caught my eye was a navy blue velvet cushion. It was there to protect the accessories.
Soon, my eyes were fixed on a jewel that shone with a brilliant vermilion light. It was a bracelet decorated with densely packed small orange sapphires.
The jewel, sparkling from any angle, was incredibly beautiful. Especially the jewel, the color of which exactly resembled my eyes, was something I had never seen before. Nevertheless, I couldn’t look at it with eyes that fully appreciated it.
Looking at the bracelet, the night I first spent with him naturally came to mind.
* * *
That night was no different from any other night.
So, I never imagined that I would lose my virginity that day.
The act of the secret night intruder creeping into my bedchamber had become so familiar that I was jaded.
The rough hand that emerged from the darkness always did the same thing first: fondle and caress various parts of my body.
But that day, somehow, the beginning was different. He grabbed my chin and gently kissed me first.
Among the acts I shared with Barque, kissing was the most uncomfortable. It somehow gave me an awkward feeling, as if we had become lovers who loved each other. Strangely, the act of our tongues rubbing together and saliva mixing felt a little more intimate than his cock penetrating and tearing through below.
“Ha-eung, eum.”
However, I didn’t have the courage to break away from him. I had no idea that the man would try to penetrate me that day, so I willingly accepted the kiss, thinking it would end with caresses as usual.
Barque stirred the inside of my mouth greedily, as if swallowing ambrosia. His sharp nose repeatedly rubbed against my cheek, and his neatly swept-back black hair gradually became disheveled.
Even though I was gradually running out of breath, he clung to me even more persistently instead of letting go. He forcibly pried open the area near my closing jaw and pushed his tongue in as if he would shove it down my throat. My hand, which had been clutching the sheets, was already on his chest to stop Barque.
“Eung, heueu...”
The sound of him ardently biting and clinging to my lower lip seeped into the silence of the bedroom. Barque bit and sucked my tongue until the root felt numb, then slowly parted his lips. His gaze, fixed on me as I panted, out of breath, was deep.
He soon slipped a finger into my mouth.
“Suck it.”
His long middle finger dug in and roughly scraped my mucous membranes. Then, he began to rub it over my stiff tongue. I barely regained my senses and rubbed my tongue against his finger. Now, saliva began to cling to his finger instead of his tongue.
“I hear that the flesh of a pussy is generally similar in texture to the inside of a mouth.”
Barque couldn’t take his eyes off the scene of me sucking his finger. An electric heat crackled in his blue eyes.
His finger, which had been resting still in my mouth for a while, moved on its own and scratched the roof of my mouth. A ticklish sensation crawled up my toes, and I trembled, grabbing his arm.
“It’s just as I imagined. Your pussy must be this hot and soft too.”
“Uup, eum, eung.”
After stirring the inside of my mouth like that for a while, he slowly pulled his finger out as if he was done. A silvery thread stretched stubbornly from his fingertip.
Barque then sucked on his finger, which was glistening with my saliva. It was clear to anyone that his purpose was to take away the saliva I had left on it. The scene of the finger that had been rolling around in my mouth until just now moving between his red tongue was extremely lewd.
He suddenly leaned his upper body towards me. I hunched my shoulders, thinking he was going to kiss me again, but unexpectedly, he pulled me into an embrace, lifting me up.
My legs, suddenly straddling Barque, spread wide open. His bulging crotch pressed against my negligee-covered vulva, which had no underwear underneath. He rubbed his center between my spread legs and grabbed my buttocks with both hands.
“Haa, Rosen.”
His voice was deeply沉寂, as if buried in the deep night. The heavy, hoarse tone was sensual enough to disturb a woman’s heart.
“Shall we try something new today?”
Barque’s hot breath tickled my neck. He traced the fair skin with his lips, then bit it with his teeth, grabbing my buttocks as if to break them and spreading them wide.
“Inside your pussy.”
His middle finger slipped between my spread buttocks. The finger that had been caressing my perineum suddenly touched my wet vulva and lightly rubbed it.
“Let’s try putting my cock in.”
He stroked my wet labia, inserted his fingertip very slightly, then pulled it out and murmured as if whispering. Startled by the raw stimulation below, my eyes, which had been barely holding onto him, widened.
“Huh? Ha, but that’s...”
Barque nuzzled his face into my damp opening and gently bit my chin. But I was in a daze of embarrassment, stiff and rolling my eyes.
“Isn’t that... sex?”
At the one question I blurted out, Barque stopped all the movements he had been making on me. Before long, he chuckled and kissed my chest.
“You’re not as innocent as you look. I didn’t think you’d know the word ‘sex’ to say it with that mouth.”
“......”
“But it’s unbelievably arousing, it’s ridiculous.”
He muttered something in a voice much rougher than before, but it didn’t reach my mind. I was simply in a state of confusion.
Sex? Did he just say sex?
Even though he had given me such intense, lingering caresses that I had melted, he had never once tried to penetrate me. Perhaps that was why I had vaguely thought that he would never insert his cock into me. I had assumed that was the last bit of conscience Barque had.
But he was more shameless and unscrupulous than I had expected.
Still, not yet, not yet.
He hasn’t tried yet. I desperately pushed his chest and struggled to get out of his imprisoning embrace.
“No, I don’t want to. I don’t want to, Lord Barque.”
“Shh. You have to stay still.”
“No, no way. Se, sex. That’s...!”
“No need to panic. I’ve put my fingers in you plenty of times. Just think of it as my cock going in instead.”
Barque smiled strangely and tried to take off my negligee. I barely pushed his hand away and shook my head.
Theoretically, it was as simple as he said, but it wasn’t a matter to be taken lightly. If we had sex, the acts that had only hovered near the line would completely cross it. If we went that far, the relationship between me and the man would no longer be reversible.
Filled with fear, I vehemently rejected him.
“Please don’t do this, Lord Barque. No, I don’t wa...!”
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this day.”
Barque’s eyes were already half unfocused. Excitement swirled like mist, and I couldn’t find his usual sharp intelligence.
Perhaps he wouldn’t hear me no matter how many times I spoke in that state. My mother’s face clearly appeared in my mind. As I thought of my mother, the red warning light in my mind burned even brighter.
I hurriedly got off his lap. And I tried to quickly leave the bedroom. But before I could take even three steps, my waist was grabbed, and I was dragged back to the bed. My vision was blurry with tears that had already burst forth.
Laid down on the bed at his mercy, I quickly shook my head.
“Lord Barque. I was wrong. Please, please...”
“Why are you apologizing? You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Heu, heueuk. Then please, don’t do this kind of thing. Okay?”
“You’re being cute.”
He wrapped my thighs around his waist and stroked various parts of my body, treating my trembling form like a small animal. It was an overbearing attitude that completely ignored my words.
“You cried with pleasure every time I thrust into your pussy.”
“Heuk. That’s...”
“Today will feel much better than that.”
Barque sat up and slowly began to untie his clothes. Even in this situation, I stared at him blankly. With a neat touch, he pulled down his cravat and unbuttoned his shirt one by one. Underneath, a muscular upper body, looking as hard as rock, was revealed.
Soon, his hand slid down and reached his fly. Until then, I had only been swallowing hard and staring at him, but I jumped up as if burned and shook my head. When there was no end to my resistance, he clicked his tongue.
“I have no choice then.”
I closed my eyes tightly as I saw him reach for me. It was a moment later that I realized what he was doing as he grabbed both my hands.
The cravat that had been around his neck just a moment ago was now being used to tie both my wrists to the bedpost. No matter how much I twisted my arms, I couldn’t break free.
“Just endure it even if it’s a little uncomfortable. I’ll untie you later when you’re moaning with pleasure.”
“Lord Barque...”
“But you manage to make me excited even when you’re tied up like this.”
He pulled down his loosened fly and revealed his magnificent cock. The man’s phallus, revealed through the dark bush, was swollen as if it would burst at any moment.
The scene of him leaning over me evoked a fear as if I were being attacked by a beast. His dark head suddenly plunged into my neck. He licked and bit my skin, then slid down, leaving a trail of saliva.
Soon, he grabbed my breasts so tightly that the nipples protruded, and greedily licked the raised bumps through my negligee. As my nipples were rubbed by his wet tongue, a groan immediately escaped my lips. I buried my face in my raised arms and panted.
Barque’s hand dug into the inside of my thighs and pressed hard on the sensitive area.
“Haa-eueu, Barque, Lord Barque. Heuk.”
My bound fingertips trembled as if not knowing what to do. He sucked on my breasts until my negligee was soaked, then slowly raised his head. Watching with interest the sight of the thin fabric clinging to my fair breasts due to the moisture, he soon grabbed the negligee.
The negligee was the only shield I had at the moment. If this were taken off and I were naked, the act would ignite uncontrollably quickly. Noticing him trying to take it off, I stamped my feet and resisted fiercely.
Then, he clicked his tongue and tore the negligee with too much ease. The silk fabric ripped with a tearing sound in his rough grip. I stared up at him blankly, dumbfounded.
“I’ll buy you whatever you want next time.”
With those casually uttered words, he indifferently appeased me and spread my thighs wide open. Only then did I fully regain my senses and try to stop him, but Barque’s upper body had already plunged between my legs long ago.
“Haa-eueung...!”
His tongue licked a straight line between my labia. He licked and caressed my honey pot, which was not yet ready, and then sucked on my labia, wet with an unknown fluid.
The feeling of his tongue touching below, where it had always only touched my tongue and breasts, was very strange. It was similar to a snake covered in sticky mucus crawling around. It goes without saying that it was just as seductive and greedy.
He spread my closed legs wide and firmly fixed them, then this time, he swirled his finger around my clit. The sensitive spot most likely to induce arousal. Being targeted there so intensely, I had no way to resist. Before I knew it, I was wriggling my hips and spilling clear vaginal fluid down my hole.
“Eung, aheuk, heut.”
Barque was persistent. As if intending to examine every part of my lower region, he thickly sucked and licked from my clit to my vagina. He even dug into my hole as if trying to scoop up the pooled fluids, making my waist, which was floating in the air, tremble.
He gripped my hips, which couldn’t stay still, and loosened my lower body to the point where my whole body melted. All the nerves that had been sharply erect with fear had already lost their will and drooped. My body was the same.
“Aah-eut, ha-eung...”
When Barque finally raised his head, his mouth was a mess with glistening wetness. He nonchalantly licked it all off with his bright red tongue.
“Does it feel that good? Your fluids are flowing endlessly.”
“Heueuk. Ah, no.”
“No, my foot.”
He slapped my buttocks as if scolding me for lying.
The hot sensation should have been painful, but perhaps because my whole body was sensitively aroused, it was just electrifying. He looked at me, letting out heated moans, and smiled mischievously, slapping my buttocks a few more times. Smack, smack! The resounding sound echoed inside me.
Looking at my buttocks, red with the marks of his palm, with satisfaction, he then grabbed my calves and lifted them up. He knew very well that my vagina would be fully exposed, but against his force, I was helpless.
“Am I the first one to fuck this pussy?”
“Heut...”
“Answer me.”
His eyes flashed like frost. When he was displeased, it felt like facing a beast that would tear me to shreds in an instant, so I hurriedly nodded. Then, I saw the tension in his eyes relax.
Barque, kneeling, grabbed his bravely erect cock with his hand. As he held it and moved it up and down, the erect form writhed and swelled even more. The raw, almost painful sight made me inhale sharply.
“Finally, this day has come.”
His voice, sunk like fog, was steeped in joy.
“Ah, it hurts, if it hurts...”
I was so scared that my throat tightened. I felt it was already too late to stop the act. Because his throbbing glans was rubbing against my vagina. Every time it brushed against it, the wet fluids met and squelched.
So now, all that was left was to tremble at the pain to come. Barque rubbed my flushed clit and replied with a sigh.
“It’ll hurt a bit if it’s your first time.”
“Heut, heueu.”
“But if you endure it a little, it’ll get better.”
His glans slowly dug into my hole and rested there. Even though it was just the tip, the pressure was considerable, and I threw my head back.
His light kisses were scattered on my prominent neck. Barque, supporting himself with his arm beside my head, waited for the right moment, and then, the moment I took a deep breath, he thrust upwards with a thwack!
“Haa-ahk!”
It felt like being swept away by an enormous tsunami. It was a tsunami of pain, and I was trapped inside, unable to even breathe properly.
My tearful pupils finally burst with tears, distorting my vision.
“It hurts, ah, ah, it hurts so much...!”
I had expected it to hurt, but this was beyond measure. The powerful cock that had dug into my lower hole felt like it was splitting my body in two. I rubbed my tear-stained cheek against his raised forearm, not knowing what to do. It felt like a raging fire had been lit in my groin.
If only my hands were free, I would push him away. But tied up, there was nothing I could do. I had to silently endure all this pain, bound and suppressed.
“Keut... you’re really going to bite off my cock.”
He let out a faint groan, perhaps feeling my pressure just as intensely. Still, the pain he felt couldn’t compare to mine. I was even starting to feel nauseous, as if I would throw up. The thing that had filled me below was making my stomach bloated.
Coughing with a tearful face, he caressed my cheek and kissed me.
“Haa, eum, eu... heu!”
While our tongues softly intertwined, he squelched and pulled his cock back. My vaginal muscles, protesting the fullness with pain, inadvertently tightened around his cock, preventing it from slipping out.
Perhaps feeling that elastic movement, Barque slightly parted his lips and growled.
“You little vixen.”
“Haa, ha, Barque, ah, Lord Barque.”
“You’re chewing so well for someone being pierced for the first time? Are you really a virgin? Did you perhaps lie to me, Rosen?”
“Heueung, no, ah! No. Heuk. Ah, it hurts...!”
As if angry, Barque grabbed my ankles and thrust upwards forcefully, thwack, thwack! The heat, as if a fire had fallen, soared without diminishing, and I screamed at the pain and the strange pleasure that spread through it.
Already drenched in sweat, he slicked back his hair and leaned close to me.
“If you moan that loudly, even your mother will hear.”
“Heup...!”
“If you don’t want her to find out about us, you’ll have to shut your mouth.”
His warning painted my brain white.
I quickly bit my lower lip until it bled, stifling my moans. But the act of forcefully thrusting his cock in, so much so that my testicles pressed against my perineum and crushed it, hindered even that.
Each time his thick root slammed down, my body shook up and down, and my lips parted. Through the gap, whimpering moans kept leaking out. Helplessly, I bit my lip and endured and endured.
Something kept flowing out from below. Every time he thrust deeply, there was a squelching sound as he churned through the muddy puddle. It even seemed like a faint scent of blood was mixed in. But I was out of my mind and could only be shaken as he shook me.
Barque suddenly grabbed my calves and stared intently at our joined area.
His blue eyes, floating in the darkness, were so chilling. Before long, with a faint sigh, he lowered the legs he had been holding up towards the air.
“You are a virgin after all.”
With that one sentence, Barque’s thrusting transformed into something softer than before. He wrapped my thighs around his waist and used only the movement of his hips to insert his cock.
In the moment I breathed a sigh of relief at the gentle piston-like motion, which was incomparable to the ferocious earlier thrusting, his cock thrust deeply and poked something, and a thrilling shiver ran down my spine.
“...Haat!”
Involuntarily, I tightened the muscles of my thighs and raised my chin, and Barque’s eyes gleamed.
As if trying to confirm what he had noticed, he pressed his glans against the same spot once more. A pleasure that felt like scratching an itch spread through me in an instant, and I contracted all over. Since he was pressed against me, there was no way Barque wouldn’t notice that reaction.
“Is it here?”
He muttered meaningless words and then readjusted his posture, swaying his pelvis flexibly again. The force with which his scrotum bumped against me was similar, but something was different from before. Before, it was just painful because he was mindlessly stabbing a narrow space with a metal rod, but now...
“Haa-eut, ah, ahng...!”
Every time his shaft filled my tight inner walls, the world before my eyes flashed. My mind was dyed in a riot of colors, and a pleasure that felt like my intestines were tightly twisting occasionally surged.
“Hoo, really...”
Barque also chuckled pleasantly, perhaps feeling good about my lower region, which had loosened from the tight clench. His gaze, thick with lust, persistently ravaged my breasts, which swayed up and down.
After that, the man and I simply repeated the act of our lower bodies colliding like beasts. I twisted my waist, letting out broken moans, and repeatedly tightened the flesh of my buttocks.
Barque slicked back his sweat-soaked hair, and I twisted my legs with a burning sensation. Thwack, thwack. The more intense the sound of water below became, the more I felt the climax approaching.
The more that sensation tingled from head to toe, the more my anxiety grew. I barely gathered my scattered wits from the shock and quickly murmured,
“Ah, heuk, you’re, ah, going to be my father.”
The moment I said those words, the man stopped moving abruptly. Even amidst that, a regretful feeling washed over me as the pleasure that had been surging like a tide suddenly ceased, and my toes curled up. I looked up at him, trying to hide the longing in my eyes that craved more of that tantalizing taste.
“So, doing this kind of thing... eu-eut, stop...”
“What did you say?”
“Huh? I, I asked you to stop...”
“Before that.”
“......”
“Father?”
An uneasy chill ran down my spine. His pupils twisted fiercely, and the desire that clouded them like a fog was all too clear.
“Say it again.”
My eyes, hazy with pleasure, were tinged with embarrassment. When I remained still, frozen, he suddenly thrust his hips up hard. He pounded into me, increasing his speed as if he wouldn’t stop until I uttered the proper address. Letting out a strangled moan, I dug my fingernails into his forearm and finally had no choice but to comply with his urging.
“Ah, Father. Stop, stop... ah, too much, aahng!”
My lips, which readily uttered the answer he wanted, were bitten and swollen. Barque gripped my waist as if in praise and thrust his cock in at a speed that seemed impossible to surpass. It was as if the hesitant address I had uttered had only fueled his fire further.
“Aahng! Ah, heuk, ah, aht!”
The climax that crashed over us, preventing any attempt to resist, was simultaneous for both him and me.
The ecstasy elicited by his cock, on a different dimension from the orgasms brought on by his fingers, mindlessly ravaged me. I gasped for breath, suffocated by the pleasure, for a long while. Only then did I realize that I was just as drenched in sweat as he was.
It felt as if something sticky was spreading inside the deeply lodged cock. But since my whole body was already unpleasantly wet, I couldn’t be sure. My mind, melting in a daze, had no room to think that far.
As the afterglow gradually subsided, the pain I had momentarily forgotten due to the pleasure began to seep in. My wrists, twisted this way and that without my knowing, ached, and the area between my legs was so sore that I was afraid to touch it.
Both above and below hurt, so it felt like my whole body was numb.
“Heuk, heueuk...”
So tears welled up again. No, actually, it was because more than the pain, it had returned as clear evidence that I had lost my virginity.
In the end, this man, in the end...
“Heu... ah! Aah-at!”
Sniffling with a tear-filled face, I coughed out a moan as his hips suddenly began to thrust upwards again. Barque spread my closed legs once more and flexibly stirred inside me with his cock, still as hard as a brick.
“Ah, heut, haa, ahng!”
“Your pussy feels even tighter after you’ve come once.”
“Ah, ah, it hurts. Ah-heu-eu...!”
“Where does it hurt? Huh?”
For a man who was so ruthlessly thrusting his cock, his tone of questioning was extremely kind.
This man was like this every time. His words and actions played separately, as if he were two different people. When he acted vulgarly, a hatred that made me want to stab him in the neck with a knife would rise up, but when he asked so sweetly like this, an unknown part of my heart would melt.
Even though I knew very well that I was being foolish, all my nerves became powerless before him, the man who had captivated me at our first meeting.
“Haat, my, my arm is too...”
“Shall I untie you? You won’t run away anymore, will you?”
“Heueuk, aah, yes...!”
“If you try to run away from me again, I’ll tie up your ankles too.”
He gave me a terrifying warning as I obediently replied, reaching for the area where the cravat was tightly tied. The thing that I couldn’t untangle no matter how much I twisted it came undone so easily in his touch.
As my wrists, which had been crossed and bent, were released, the throbbing pain finally subsided a little. I looked at my wrists with tearful eyes. But because the man was thrusting deeply below, it was too difficult to see clearly due to the shaking.
Barque, who was intent on the piston-like motion to ejaculate, grabbed my arm as if snatching it away. And he stared intently at my wrist, which was red with marks.
“Beautiful.”
He muttered, looking at the marks on my white skin that even seemed a bit unsightly. Soon, the bright red tongue that poked out between his lips licked my wrist.
“Like a bracelet. That I put on you.”
“Heut...”
“Hoo, I want to tie you to the bed forever. So I can fuck you every time I come back.”
I shuddered with fear at his rough tone. He had already crossed the final line, so there was no guarantee he wouldn’t carry out those words.
Perhaps noticing that I was scared, he caressed my waist and whispered soothingly in my ear.
“I’ll endure it if you call me Father.”
“Haa, ha, eu-eut...!”
The sound of him urging that title, which was so unpleasant to me that even saying it once was an ordeal, was sweet.
He put my earlobe in his mouth and mumbled, urging me to hurry. I simply wanted the strange pleasure that felt like fire spreading below to end as soon as possible, so I grabbed his shoulder.
“Ah, Father.”
His jeweled eyes glinted sharply.
“Father, eung, ah, ah...!”
Regardless of his reaction, I just wanted this poker-like cock that was ruthlessly stirring my inner walls to stop its act. Also, because the pain was gradually subsiding, and a ticklish sensation that made my fingertips and toes tingle was rising up.
“I never expected to have such a bizarre taste myself.”
Barque straightened his back and flicked his pelvis, then slicked back his hair.
“You were quite wicked.”
He simply reproached himself and then raised his knees while holding my ankles. In that state, he powerfully slammed his half-protruding cock down from above. With the heavy force of his hips, the bed creaked as if it would collapse at any moment.
“Aheuk, ah, ahng, ah...!”
“Does it feel that good? You’re so desperate to suck cock.”
“Heueung, aht, ah!”
“Shall I, haa, cum inside you?”
“Aah-eut, no, no way...!”
I desperately and urgently shook my head, pushing his chest. But my stepfather showed no hesitation in spilling his seed inside me.
He slammed his lower body up and down at a speed that made it difficult to even exhale. Finally, his cock slammed into the most sensitive spot. The pleasure that surged like a tide completely washed away the faint pain, guilt, and sense of betrayal.
Immediately, I arched my back in a curve, unable to even moan, my jaw clenched, and I convulsed before finally collapsing onto the bed. As my inner walls, having reached orgasm, tightened sharply, it must have stimulated him, as Barque also reached his climax before long.
“Haa, ha...”
I stared blankly at the ceiling, my mind shattered like broken glass, making it difficult for thoughts to connect easily. But my emotions seemed vividly alive, and tears streamed down my cheeks.
Barque silently looked at my face, then leaned down and kissed my lips. I accepted his probing tongue with a sense of half resignation. He sucked my tongue deeply and then began to move his hips again. It was an energy that seemed like it would never end.
And so, I was crushed beneath the man until dawn.
The fierce lovemaking finally ended, and he got up and left the bed. The man, whom I thought would leave the bedroom as he did on other nights, returned with a wet towel.
Spreading my legs, he carefully wiped my vulva, which was covered in bright red blood and mucus. In this position, my lower region would be fully exposed, but I had no will to resist and lay there blankly.
“It’s coming out like pee.”
Barque, who had been caressing my swollen labia, slightly parted the flesh and muttered with satisfaction. Just as he said, I felt something flowing out uncontrollably through the parted gap. Its identity was, of course, the semen he had lavishly deposited all night.
He swept up what had flowed down to my perineum with his finger and reinserted it into my vulva. Squish, squish. The sound of stirring through the liquid-filled area echoed.
“I’ll come again tomorrow night, so be a good girl and wait with your clothes off.”
Barque kissed my cheek and only then left the bedroom after whispering those words.
It felt as if a true nightmare had unfolded from that day onwards.
* * *
I shuddered at the memory of our somewhat forceful first night.
It was a ruthless and callous sex that even a newlywed couple who had just met on their wedding day wouldn’t engage in. Since then, Barque had tied my hands a couple more times during intimacy, and every time a mark remained, he would laugh mischievously, saying it looked like I was wearing a bracelet.
The first gift he had officially given me, his daughter, was that very bracelet.
‘......’
Therefore, no matter how I looked at it, it was an object that could only be connected to sexual meaning.
With a pale, sickly face, I hurriedly closed the lid as if I hadn’t seen anything. But my eyes, shaking like an earthquake, rendered that denial useless.
I quickly turned away from the table and approached the bookshelf. I took out the second book from the bottom shelf and hurriedly opened it, whereupon something fell out with a thud.
I unfolded the paper that was folded like a note and swallowed the powder inside raw, without water. A rough, bitter taste spread in my mouth, but my heart was pounding, so I didn’t have time to fully taste it.
Crushing the paper in my hand, I counted how many of these papers were left. There were five.
‘I hope I won’t have to take these again.’
This was a contraceptive pill that Barque had gotten from a pharmacy in the capital the day after he first tried to penetrate me. No matter how I looked at it, it didn’t seem like he would take contraception to keep this relationship secret, so I had no choice but to procure it myself.
Only belatedly did the bitter taste rise up like sour regurgitation. I panted faintly and gripped the bookshelf.
The memory of that first night was still a terrible scar for me. No matter how much I had feelings for him, the sex that proceeded without my consent was no different from rape. And the pain I experienced that day, that vivid pain, dragged me into the cold reality.
The first time I encountered Barque.
The moment I stood by the window and looked down at him, I fell in love and had a fleeting but very foolish and sweet fantasy. He, so handsome and outstanding, was a dashing knight, and I was like a princess he had come to rescue.
And when he reached out to me with a sinister touch.
My honey-sweet fantasy shattered into pieces. A cold wind blew through the cracks, urging me to come to my senses, and occasionally lashed at my heart. Only then did I clearly recognize the shameful act of coveting my mother’s man, something I was even embarrassed to utter.
But Barque had actually carried out what I had only imagined.
‘From now on, I have to come to my senses.’
Barque’s gaze, when he said he would have an affair with me no matter what, was clearly sincere. I knew it very well because it was the same gaze he had when he declared he would put his cock inside me.
The contraceptive pill had to be taken once every three weeks, assuming consistent sex. Less than two weeks had passed since I last took it, but I was morbidly fixated on it. If I became pregnant, everything, really, everything would become twisted.
If the acts that Barque and I had committed were revealed, the world would be shocked, my grandfather would be furious, and my mother...
“Ah...”
Unknowingly, the lips I had been tightly clenching burst, and blood streamed down. When I wiped it with my fingertips, the stinging pain spread like metal poisoning. The scent of blood seemed to bring back the night I was raped. I covered my forehead and bowed my head deeply.
It was a perfect cycle of evil.