FBS - 1

Barque Estellan.

From our very first encounter, he was a man of many peculiarities. Until just before meeting him, the information I had about him was extremely limited.

My mother’s fiancé, and the commander of the imperial army known as the Emperor’s Mace. That was all.

So, naturally, I had pictured him in my mind as a very burly and fierce-looking man. Wielding a sword would be a daily part of his life for training, and being a leader who commanded the military, such an assumption seemed reasonable.

However, reality was different from my expectations.

I first met the man on the day my grandfather personally invited him to the Marquisate.

The meal scheduled with him was luncheon, but the Marquis’s residence was bustling from early morning. Places that were already spotless were cleaned until they shone, and anything that could be considered an eyesore or used to find fault was removed. The busy preparations reminded us how important the guest arriving today was.

While the servants of the mansion moved like cogs in a machine, each finding their task and working in perfect harmony, I was facing my grandfather.

“This marriage was secured with great difficulty, so there must absolutely be no incident caused by your existence that ruins it.”

His heavy voice pierced my heart like a dagger, painfully stirring my tender insides.

I had done nothing to warrant my grandfather’s scolding. Yet, simply for existing in this world, I had to endure his cold gaze.

“Yes, Grandfather.”

Hoping that the animosity towards me would lessen even a little, I obediently replied as always.

In this place, where I was no different from an unwanted guest, I stayed confined to my bedroom until my mother’s fiancé arrived, trying to make myself invisible. As the round sun slowly tilted westward, dusk began to settle.

I leaned on the windowsill, enjoying the gentle breeze. As I did so, I sensed a commotion coming from the direction of the mansion’s main gate.

The distance was far, and more than anything, dust obscured the view.

Nevertheless, simply for existing in this world, I had to endure his cold gaze.

“Yes, Grandfather.”

Hoping that the animosity towards me would lessen even a little, I obediently replied as always.

In this place, where I was no different from an unwanted guest, I stayed confined to my bedroom until my mother’s fiancé arrived, trying to make myself invisible. As the round sun slowly tilted westward, dusk began to settle.

I leaned on the windowsill, enjoying the gentle breeze. As I did so, I sensed a commotion coming from the direction of the mansion’s main gate.

The distance was far, and more than anything, dust obscured the view. I unfolded my crossed arms and straightened my upper body. The gentle breeze continued to blow, gradually clearing the dust and revealing the approaching figure.

Clop, clop, clop. The first thing that caught my eye was a large black horse. Standing side by side, the black horse seemed even taller than me and was carrying someone. The man riding atop it was as massive as a mountain.

The man dismounted with a fluid, economical movement. Despite his great size, his actions were as smooth as flowing water, making him appear incredibly agile. As he casually swept back his hair, his black locks, the color of night, fluttered.

I held my breath for a moment, seeing the face that was revealed from behind his hair. Contrary to my expectation that he would have rough features to match his large build, the man was strikingly handsome.

A subtle silence fell within the Marquis’s residence at the man’s appearance.

As it was a meeting for a marriage proposal, the man was dressed neatly and formally. It was certainly nothing compared to his attire of armor, traversing bloodstained battlefields, yet the imposing aura he exuded was no joke. Everything around him seemed to be suppressed by his spirit. A delicate tension, thick enough to make it difficult to swallow, spread through the air.

It was the very person who had created the silence who broke it.

“I am a little late. My apologies.”

“Nonsense. Welcome. Lord Estellan.”

My grandfather, who was already at the entrance of the mansion, exchanged greetings with him. Behind my grandfather stood my mother, dressed more beautifully than usual. As my mother and her prospective husband came together in my sight, a strange feeling washed over me.

My grandfather readily showed a smile he had never shown me before and led him inside the mansion. As the man stepped inside, I also inadvertently leaned out the window.

Perhaps sensing a presence with a knight’s intuition, the man suddenly raised his head sharply.

Our gazes met in the empty air. I stared, mesmerized, at the unexpectedly handsome man I was now properly facing. His striking appearance, just like the princes described in the fairy tales I read as a child, captivated me instantly.

Everything in the world blurred, and only the man remained clearly in my vision. His deep blue eyes, like the depths of the ocean, also held me completely. An eternity-like moment passed, and soon the man looked away.

Only then could I exhale the breath that had been trapped in my lungs. It felt as if I had been caught in a binding spell that wrapped around my entire body for a moment and then released. I noticed a beat later that my hands gripping the windowsill were clenched tightly. The exchange of glances with the man had been a moment that brought with it that much tension, enough to make the back of my hands turn white.

The meal was even more somber than I had anticipated.

My mother asked the man a few formal questions in the middle of the meal, and the man... seemed to have no interest in my mother.

The low voice that flowed from his firmly closed teeth evoked a sweet melody, but that was all. He showed no enthusiasm or sincerity, as if he had been forcibly dragged to this place.

As the commander of the army, he explained that he would be away from the mansion for long periods when he went on expeditions. Hearing this, I easily noticed that my mother’s reaction of feigned disappointment was close to a pretense.

The world of nobles was so complicated with their interests that I didn’t want to interfere. So, I pretended not to notice their respective indifference.

My mother was the daughter of a prestigious Marquis family, and I was the illegitimate child she had brought from outside. My mother, who had fallen in love with a commoner and gotten into trouble, had eventually turned her back on the relationship that ended in ruin and returned to the Marquis’s residence with me in her arms.

My grandfather, the head of the family, was greatly enraged but couldn’t cruelly cast out his daughter, whom he cherished dearly. Welcoming the prodigal daughter back, he had no choice but to accept even me, the baby in her arms.

Grandfather always said I was a hindrance.

He said that if she had returned alone earlier, he could have at least married her off to a family that wasn’t quite up to par, but now, being an unwed mother with a child, it had become difficult to arrange a marriage for her.

The Barque that Grandfather had designated as my mother’s partner was a man thirteen years older than me. It was an age difference that could be argued as “only” when considering him as a stepfather.

Throughout the meal, the man occasionally cast glances at me. I dismissed them as the probing gaze of someone examining the young woman, not much younger than himself, who would become his stepdaughter.

Being left alone with Barque was a completely unexpected situation.

It was during the tea time after the meal. Grandfather had left due to urgent state affairs, and Mother had briefly stepped out of the drawing-room, saying she was preparing a gift for him.

In the silent room, I awkwardly sipped my tea. I could feel the man, sitting with his legs crossed, steadily watching me, but I stubbornly kept my gaze forward. I didn’t want to experience the tension that felt like an electric current again if our eyes met.

“Your name was Rosen, wasn’t it?”

The voice, reminiscent of dark conifers, suddenly approached.

My heart lurched so violently that I almost dropped my teacup. I hadn’t expected him to speak to me directly. Hastily putting down the cup, I stammered and nodded.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Sixteen... You’ve just come of age.”

Barque, who had been thoughtfully considering something, murmured to himself.

“Young.”

He slowly closed and then opened his eyes, then placed his teacup on the table as if mirroring me. It was a rather elegant gesture, contrary to his ominous title of the Emperor’s Mace. Quite surprised by this, I watched his action intently.

The conversation, which was proceeding more smoothly than I had thought, gradually eased my tension. However, that change became instantly meaningless when he suddenly reached out to me.

“Here.”

His large hand, bearing scars in places, gently rubbed my lips. I was so startled that I gripped the armrest of the leather sofa. My toes, hidden by my skirt, curled up tightly.

My pupils darted around, unable to settle. His broad chest, the forearms where I could feel the dense muscles even through his clothes, and his fingers touching my lips. Every trace of the man was etched meticulously into my vision.

The touch that rubbed my lips as if wiping something away brushed against my soft lips like a caress. It was a secretive touch.

“Smudged.”

It was an announcement that something had been wiped away.

I hurriedly lowered my gaze. However, there was nothing on his fingers that had brushed against my lips.

The man rubbed the spot where my lips had touched with another finger before clearing his throat with a “hmph.” Then, as if his neck was constricted, he slightly furrowed his brow and stretched his cravat.

My fingers on my lap wouldn’t stay still, curling up tightly. Despite the unsightly wrinkles on my skirt, I couldn’t unfold my hands. The time spent with the man, unfamiliar yet something I had to get used to, strangely scratched at the inside of my heart.

Whether this was an uncomfortable sensation or something else, I couldn’t easily define it.

* * *

I didn’t see the man again until a full three months had passed. That day was also the day he returned from a campaign to subjugate the eastern monsters by the Emperor’s command.

<Since we will be living together from now on, when he returns this time, you will be staying in the same mansion with him until the wedding.>

At my mother’s words, I had moved into the mansion owned by the man early on and had to welcome him upon his return.

The man I met again still exuded a stiff, unapproachable aura. Moreover, unlike the last meal we shared, this time he was covered in the acrid scent of blood and rough sand over his armor. Anyone could tell that he had returned from a fierce and brutal war.

“Rosen.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Take this to Lord Barque.”

What my mother entrusted to me were cleanly laundered clothes and towels. I took them and headed to the third-floor bedroom where the man was staying. The sound of running water came from the bedroom, which had a bathroom attached.

I carefully walked to the bathroom door. I had heard that he disliked being attended to by servants and usually washed himself.

I slowly raised my hand to knock on the door, but before I could, the door swung open abruptly. Barque, who had been shaking his soaking wet hair, stopped short when he saw me. Even without a word, the pressure emanating from his tall frame made me instinctively hold my breath.

A silence that felt like it was pressing down on my skin filled the space between us.

Before long, I quickly lowered my gaze and looked at my feet. It was because he had just come out of the bath and was only wearing a towel around his waist. His bronzed upper body was fully exposed in my view. I thought I had briefly seen his lower body bulging thickly, but I couldn’t be sure as I had only caught a fleeting glimpse.

“Um, this.”

I swallowed hard and held out what I was carrying.

Barque didn’t immediately take what had been prepared for him but only looked down at me steadily. I felt the area near the crown of my head grow hot and flushed under his gaze. It was also the first time that someone’s gaze alone made my limbs feel so uncomfortable.

After a moment that felt like an eternity, he finally reached out and took the items from me. Even then, his gaze remained fixed on my face. Water dripped from Barque’s wet hair. It tickled the top of my feet, making my shoulders hunch up repeatedly. The sensation of the water droplets pooling and seeping between my toes was damp and sticky.

“Why do you keep.”

Soon, he slowly reached out towards me. Within my lowered vision, his muscles, twitching as if in anger, came fully into view.

The man’s body was like a sculpture created by a master artist over months of painstaking effort. Both rugged and aesthetically elegant, it irresistibly drew the attention of others.

“Why do you avoid my gaze?”

A large hand approached soundlessly and brushed my cheek before gently rubbing my earlobe. The moment I flinched in surprise, his finger lightly entered and then exited my ear. At the intimate contact, my heart pounded like a fish caught on a fishing line.

I hurriedly backed away as if preemptively frightened. In doing so, I lost my footing, and my body tilted precariously. Before I could regain my balance, the unforeseen accident occurred, and I squeezed my eyes shut in anticipation of the impending pain. However, what I felt instead of pain was a strong force firmly gripping my waist.

Opening my eyes abruptly, I found the man’s solid chest right in front of my nose. He had supported my waist with his arm, preventing me from falling.

“You must be careful.”

His low voice stimulated my earlobe like a lick. I couldn’t pay attention to his hot breath so close by or his broad chest. It was because the presence of something hard pressing against my waist was too distinct.

That thing I didn’t dare to look at was located between his legs, concealed by the towel.

I quickly pushed him away and bowed deeply at the waist. I ended the conversation with this action, which served as my thanks, and hurriedly left the room.

The spots on my skin where he had touched me felt hot, as if burned. It was as if some kind of mark had been left, so I repeatedly rubbed those areas. It was a moment when the inside of my chest was uncontrollably agitated.

* * *

Barque Estellan was said to be staying away from expeditions for a while. It was a gracious consideration from the Emperor, who anticipated that he would be busy with wedding preparations.

Hearing that story made me keenly aware that he was indeed a knight deeply trusted by the Emperor. He wouldn’t grant leave from the front lines to just anyone simply for preparing for a wedding.

“The weather is nice, so how about we go on a retreat to the forest together?”

“Very well.”

My mother and the man used formal language with each other, indicating a relationship that was not yet very close. It felt strange to me that he spoke casually to me but not to my mother.

The retreat location was decided to be the Kelli Forest on the outskirts of the empire, as my mother had suggested. It was a cozy place where sunlight streamed in throughout the year, creating a warm atmosphere, and deep inside, there was even a clear and beautiful lake.

Upon arriving, I naturally excused myself so that the two of them could have some time together and walked along the forest path. The densely wooded path was perfect for instilling peace in one’s heart. A gentle breeze blew, softly scattering my waist-length blonde hair.

Rustle, rustle, only the sound of my footsteps treading on the grass could be heard around me.

After walking for some time, a wide-open lake appeared before my eyes. I gazed, mesmerized, at the scenery that wasn’t extravagant but somehow resonated with my heart, and then I walked along the shore.

The surface, reflecting the sunlight and shining silver, was beautiful. Looking into the clear, unpolluted lake, I felt a desire to go in. I didn’t have a change of clothes, and it was an open area, so I couldn’t go in completely, but I neatly took off my shoes, placed them to one side, and dipped only my feet in.

The moderately cool temperature was refreshing. Splash, splash. As I moved my feet back and forth, splashing water, I felt a liberating sensation as if I were swimming.

To take in the scenery of the forest, reminiscent of the transition between spring and summer, I turned my head this way and that.

It was then that I belatedly discovered him. Barque, who I didn’t know when he had arrived here.

The man I had clearly thought was with my mother was leaning against a tree with his arms crossed, watching me with eyes like a wild beast.

‘Uh...’

The words I was about to say, asking why he was here, naturally caught in my throat. Frankly speaking, where he went was his own business, wasn’t it? The question I could have asked casually was swallowed back down because of the usual tension he incited.

Since our eyes had already met, I felt like I had to say something. However, my flustered mind went blank. First, it seemed my appearance with my feet in the lake might look too innocent, so I quickly tried to stand up.

Or, I tried to.

“...Ah!”

If only I hadn’t suddenly gotten a cramp in my toes.

My body, which was trying to stand, swayed and then fell headfirst into the lake. In an instant, the water rose above my head, and I struggled. The lake, which had looked shallow because it was so clean and clear, was deeper than I had thought.

After struggling for a while, a strong, firm force pulled me up. The airway that had been blocked by the rushing water opened, and I inhaled deeply with a “pah!” Strong arms that had lifted my upper body out of the water tightly embraced my waist and pulled me onto the shore.

Blinking to clear my wet vision, I finally recognized the chest right in front of me. My round breasts were pressed against his wall-like chest.

“You’re so clumsy.”

A low, clicking sound of his tongue reached my ears, and my eyelids fluttered. He simply lifted me out of the lake while holding onto a tree and placed me on the ground. Then, he cast another unreadable, blatant gaze at me.

His gaze was so openly intense that I couldn’t ignore it, and I, who was panting, also lowered my head. Only then did I realize that my dress was completely soaked with water, revealing my pale skin clearly.

Flustered, I covered my body with both hands. But there was no way it could be completely concealed like that.

“Why are you covering yourself?”

“Pardon?”

“Are you afraid I might do something?”

He asked in a plain tone, watching my actions intently. Perhaps he felt that I might think of him as a strange person. I quickly shook my head, vehemently denying it.

“It’s not that, it’s just... it’s see-through.”

As luck would have it, the weather was hot, and I was barely wearing a chemise underneath. I could feel the man’s gaze all too clearly as it scanned the skin where the fabric clung. Being under his scrutiny made me feel so ashamed that I wanted to hide somewhere.

Suddenly, a breeze blew. Perhaps because I was soaking wet, I suddenly felt cold. As I shivered, crossing my arms, something was draped over my shoulders. It was a moment later that I realized it was the man’s coat.

The fingers that fastened the buttons, one by one, of the deep blue coat that matched his eyes, felt strangely eerie. His body was covered in scars, yet his fingers were long and beautiful... I stood there blankly, letting the man’s touch envelop me.

The man was so large that even with all the buttons fastened, the coat was still roomy.

“Thank you,” I said hesitantly, and the man’s hand, which had been fastening the buttons, brushed my cheek again. It was a trivial touch, like a gentle breeze passing by.

Physical touch, is it a habit?

The man reached out to me so often that I couldn’t help but wonder. Every time his touch came near, my heart sank.

As I hurried after him, leaving the lake behind, my heart beat strangely fast. His chest, which I had encountered in the splashing water, lingered in my vision like an afterimage.

It was a truly strange phenomenon.

* * *

Barque Estellan seemed to have a lot of work to handle even when he wasn’t away on expeditions, so it wasn’t easy to see his face even when he was staying at the mansion. And since my mother was extremely busy preparing for her wedding with him, I, left alone, always had to spend idle and boring hours.

“Rosen, Lord Estellan said he plans to go riding today.”

Perhaps noticing my boredom, my mother mentioned casually one day. Having been cooped up in his study for a while, the man seemed to be thinking of doing something active for the first time in a while.

“Riding?”

“Yes. Would you like to go with him?”

“But I’ve never ridden a horse before.”

“Lord Estellan said he would teach you himself.”

Recalling the man made me think of the close contact we had at the lake in Kelli Forest. Ignoring the strange, sticky, and unsettling feeling that crept into my heart, just like back then when I fell into the water, I nodded.

A small riding ground was set up on one side of the spacious mansion. It was befitting of the mansion of a man who, due to his frequent expeditions, put effort into training horses.

Changing into riding attire and heading out into the open air, a cool breeze brushed past my face. It was a moment later that I realized it wasn’t a natural breeze but one blowing from the man riding a black horse and galloping towards me from afar.

Perhaps having spotted me standing there, the man gradually slowed down as he approached. Clop, clop, clop. The man was big, but the black horse, which looked twice his size, stopped in front of me. I hadn’t realized it was this big when I had blankly stared at it from my bedroom window before.

I took a step back, afraid that the horse might run towards me.

Barque landed on the ground with a light movement, without even using the stirrups. Because the sunlight was shining diagonally on his tall figure, a deep shadow fell over the man’s face.

“Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“No, it’s my first time.”

“Then it would be good for you to ride with me.”

“Aren’t you going to teach me?”

“First, I need to see if you’re even capable of riding. Many people give up early on after learning, finding that it’s not a good fit for them.”

Contrary to my expectations, Barque, who had explained kindly, suddenly lifted me by the waist and placed me on the saddle. His strength was so great that there was no wavering in his power as he lifted me.

Startled by the sudden increase in height, I swayed, and he held me firmly to prevent me from falling. Then, stepping onto the stirrups, he mounted behind me.

“Wouldn’t it be difficult for the horse to carry two people?”

“I’ve carried four corpses before, so it will be easy.”

As he said, the black horse snorted lightly, as if it wasn’t strained at all. The man handed me the reins, telling me to hold on tight as I had barely straightened my back. Having never ridden a horse before, I felt anxious and didn’t know what to do.

“I-if I make a mistake...”

“He’s well-trained, so he won’t act recklessly. He’s a fellow who doesn’t get excited even at the sight of blood. Now, pull the reins gently.”

As he said, when I gently pulled the reins, the black horse, which had been tapping its hooves on the ground, began to move forward little by little. My body floated in the air, swaying gently, and it felt like I was floating above the sky. It was a feeling I had never experienced before, and my anxiety slowly faded, a smile spreading across my lips.

“Move your hips closer to me.”

Suddenly, he brought his lips close to my ear. Compared to the cool breeze, the man’s breath on me was so hot and humid. The fine hairs on my skin stood on end at the burning sensation.

“Like this...?”

I leaned back slightly, but it was such a passive gesture that it was as good as doing nothing. Perhaps frustrated by my action, the man’s hand suddenly touched my thigh. It slid down and delved into the secret triangle, cupping my vulva. At the unexpected contact, I forgot how to breathe for a moment. It felt strange to have the man’s thick forearm settle between my legs.

“Like this.”

He pressed down on the hand covering my vulva, as if trying to bring my hips closer to his. But that only served to stimulate my vulva, which was clearly outlined through my thin lower garment, causing my body to flinch greatly. Reflexively, I tightened my grip on the reins.

“Relax.”

The whisper that stimulated my earlobe made my chest flutter. Even in this situation, the man’s hand was still touching my vulva. The distance was too close, making it precarious. The heat covering my back, and the hand touching my sensitive area.

Soon, he raised his middle finger and gently began to rub between the parted flesh.

Ah! I unconsciously let out a nasal sound and gripped the reins until my knuckles turned white. A deep breath escaped through my parted lips at the action that incited a strange, nerve-wracking sensation. I tried to close my legs, but being on horseback, there was a limit.

He now added his index finger and softly rubbed my covered vulva up and down.

“Heueut...”

“You need to hold the reins firmly.”

Unlike his gentle urging tone, his hand movements were quite lewd. His touch was sticky and persistent, as if it would cling to me again even if I tried to brush it off.

Wasn’t he just supposed to be teaching me how to ride? Then why does he keep touching me here? I felt like my mind was somehow becoming hazy, so I leaned my upper body forward. Then, his other hand reached out and pulled my chest back.

“If you lean forward like that, it will be difficult for the horse to maintain its balance.”

Just like when he had grabbed me when I fell into the lake, the touch that gripped my chest was efficient. The man’s hand, which I thought would move away, went against my expectations and began to fondle my breasts.

My breasts and vulva were helplessly placed in his grasp. All I could do, with the reins in my hands and my legs spread wide, was to suppress the rising moans.

He traced my breasts with his fingers before suddenly raising one finger and circling the prominent nipple. Heut, a gasp escaped my surprised lips, and my back straightened involuntarily.

“Aren’t you wearing underwear?”

Perhaps sensing my nipples hardening little by little from the strange sensation spreading down my spine, he asked softly. The man’s voice was damp and husky.

I swallowed dryly and barely managed to nod.

“The riding clothes... are a tight fit.”

More than anything, they were made for winter, so the material was quite thick. That’s probably why it wasn’t obvious from the outside that I wasn’t wearing underwear. Of course, that was only in terms of ‘sight’; if touched like this, it was more than enough to realize.

“Good.”

“Ah, heu.”

“Don’t wear things like that in the future.”

He pinched my nipple, which protruded noticeably through my clothes, with his thumb and index finger. My flinching body lost strength for a moment and collapsed against his broad chest.

Then, the touch that violated the sensitive parts of my body became even more unrestrained. Involuntarily lowering my gaze, I clearly witnessed how his fingers were playing between my legs.

The sight of his long, straight, and what I had thought beautiful fingers buried between my plump labia was incredibly lewd.

“Haah, euhng.”

A current-like heat spread from the spot he was touching. Having never felt anything like this before, I clung desperately to the reins and the man in my dizzyingly fragmented mind. Being on horseback made just maintaining my balance a struggle.

It became increasingly difficult to suppress my moans at the touch that teased my nipples and vulva. I gripped his arm tightly and panted softly. My vision kept blurring uselessly, and my mind and body became disheveled.

Then, he withdrew all the tormenting touches he had been directing at me. At the same time, he took the reins from my hands.

Having stopped the horse, he stroked my waist, which was still heaving with breaths. Perhaps because of his previous actions, the touch didn’t feel very wholesome.

“Your breathing is rough. Was riding that difficult for you?”

It wasn’t the riding that was difficult... I couldn’t bring myself to utter the protest that surged to the tip of my tongue. It was because my body was still trembling from the strange pleasure he had inflicted.

The man, who had dismounted first, looked up at me and asked,

“How is it? Can you do it?”

“For, for me... it seems too difficult.”

“Is that so? What a shame.”

At my barely audible reply, the man clicked his tongue and helped me down from the horse.

“If you change your mind, let me know anytime.”

He was clearly referring to riding, but to my ears, it sounded like he was referring to the events that had just transpired on the horse. Looking into the man’s swamp-like, sticky eyes, I couldn’t help but think that.

That day, I saw the man smile for the first time. Of course, it was more of a twisted upturn of his lips than a true smile, but still.

His smile reminded me more of a fierce wind blowing through the bitter cold than a warm spring breeze. It was a smile that I didn’t dare to look into, unsure of what ulterior motives it might hold.

Leaving the man behind, I hurried back to the mansion as if fleeing.

Entering the empty drawing-room, I hastily pulled down my riding breeches and checked my underwear. As expected, my vulva was glistening wet, as if it had poured out water. Tracing the damp stain with my finger, I sighed.

My first experience of riding was something too dizzying and thrilling for me.

* * *

The temperature gradually rose, and summer arrived with a deep blue sky devoid of a single cloud.

After the incident at the riding grounds, I tried to avoid being alone with the man as much as possible. It was because I had roughly realized that the incident that had instantly incapacitated me was something that absolutely must not be discovered by my mother.

The thought that such a thing might happen again if I were alone with the man made me constantly try to avoid him first. Of course, I only avoided being alone with him; there were many times when I saw him with my mother, such as during the daily meals.

After that day, I couldn’t help but notice that the man’s gaze would fixate on me whenever we encountered each other. And that his eyes were more stickily wet than before. I pretended to be an affectionate and good daughter and averted his gaze.

One rainy day.

I came out of my bedroom for the first time in a while and was reading a book in the drawing-room. My room, facing away from the sun, became incredibly dark on rainy days, making it difficult to read even with the lamp on.

Normally, the man would have bothered me, but I had overheard at breakfast that he had business to attend to today and would be out. I had heard that he wouldn’t return until late in the evening, so I just needed to go back to my bedroom before then.

Perhaps because the sky was gloomy, the drawing-room had a more subdued atmosphere than usual.

I yawned repeatedly, rubbing my eyes as sleepiness gradually washed over me. I put down my book for a moment and leaned against the armrest of the sofa. Gazing out at the garden where rain was drizzling, I unknowingly drifted off to sleep.

I woke up when I felt a sensation tickling my ankle.

The cautious touch gently caressed the ankle bone revealed beneath my skirt. It was a touch that seemed curious, yet also had a hint of insidious intent from the start.

The sensation wasn’t unpleasant, and still half-asleep, wandering in the realm of dreams, I lay still.

However, the touch was different from my motionless state. As if expressing a deepening curiosity, it slowly began to travel up my skin.

The fingertips, warm with heat, circled my knee as if tickling it, then gradually burrowed under my skirt. A chilling yet strangely sensual feeling dreamily dampened my reason. It felt just like dreaming.

Thinking that it might really be a dream, I completely relaxed my body. Then, a low chuckle that heated my eardrums came from my feet. The pleasant low voice languidly stirred the depths of my chest.

The secretive touch gradually became bolder. It caressed my thigh, then delved further, kneading my buttocks as if pressing against them.

“Hmm...”

I twisted my body, wanting to sleep more, but the touch didn’t move away. The hand that roughly and sometimes softly traced my buttocks then gently turned my body to the side. Lying on my back, facing the ceiling, I felt a coolness around my waist and slowly lifted my eyelids.

Only then did I discover the black-haired man who had taken over above me.

At the same moment my eyes widened, a large hand that had rolled up my skirt hem ruthlessly delved into my chemise.

“Underwear.”

Compared to the man’s hands, hardened with calluses from gripping and wielding weapons, the chemise I was wearing was a pitifully inadequate shield.

“I told you not to wear it.”

“Heut...!”

His finger instantly found and touched the reddish nipple hidden inside my chemise. Panicked, I wildly waved my hands. I had no time to understand why he, who was supposed to return late in the evening, was here at this hour, right before my eyes.

“Lo, Lord Barque. When did you get here...?”

“Considering how you’ve been avoiding me, aren’t you sleeping too defenselessly?”

His smiling face was sensual and eerie, like that of a newlywed groom on his first night. I couldn’t help but flinch at his words that pointed out the fact that I had been avoiding him. Then, as if punishing me, he sharply pinched my nipple.

“Eueung!”

“Or... is this finally your decision?”

His hand slipped smoothly between my carelessly spread thighs.

“That you will willingly spread your legs for me.”

“What, what are you saying?”

“Don’t pretend you don’t know when you know everything.”

His hand, which had chuckled, slowly burrowed into my underwear. My body, convulsing as if having a seizure, frantically grabbed his wrist.

“I thought you knew? That I haven’t been able to take my eyes off you since the first time we met.”

I didn’t know. It was something I had absolutely no idea about.

...No, in fact, I did know.

During the meal of our first meeting, he showed more interest in me than in my mother. The way he casually answered my mother’s questions and occasionally turned to look at me. His pupils were blue, but I thought his eyes had a very hot temperature at the time.

Was it because of the irrational feelings the man harbored?

“Please don’t do this. What if Mother... haa-eueut.”

While I was desperately struggling to push him away, something touched my secret place, and I flinched. The touch that calmly aroused my senses, moving up and down, was no different from what I had felt on the horse.

A lewd touch where desire gathered and dripped over.

“If you didn’t like this, you should have run away sooner.”

As I struggled to escape, kicking my legs this way and that, I suddenly gasped as a finger was inserted through a door that had never been opened before.

“For the three months I was away on the expedition after meeting you, every night I imagined what this place of yours would look like and masturbated. You confused me so much with just one meeting.”

“Heu, heueu.”

“Narrow, hot... and soft.”

“Ah, euhng, no, stop, no...”

“Just as I imagined your hole would be.”

My inner walls squeezed tightly, as if trying to sever the finger that had invaded like a foreign object. Shaking my head, tears welled up in my eyes from primal fear.

The man licked away the tears with his tongue while gradually increasing the speed at which he thrust into my opening. The dry entrance slowly became moist, reacting to the physiological stimulation.

“Heu, ah ah... ah!”

“So, this feels good, does it?”

The moment his finger stirred the inner walls and then grazed my clit, I clenched my toes and trembled violently. In an instant, my vision turned white, and my scalp tingled. A strange sensation, so unfamiliar I was afraid I would experience it again, ecstatically enveloped my entire body.

But even with my reaction, he didn’t withdraw his touch.

“No, stop, heuk, shi, no...”

Despite my pleading to stop, he nonchalantly inserted another finger. I could feel something constantly flowing from my stretched-to-the-limit opening. Each time his fingers moved in and out, a squelching, wet sound was produced.

How could a man who was to become my stepfather do such a thing...?

In the midst of my shock, the face of my kind mother flashed through my mind. An unspeakable sense of guilt pierced through the pleasure and achingly pressed down on my heart.

“Have you had sex before?”

Without the slightest consideration for my feelings, he asked suddenly while casually probing my vulva.

“Ye, yes?”

My eyes widened as my body flinched. It was a word that made me doubt my ears. Se, sex? Even without looking in the mirror, I could vividly imagine my face turning as red as a beet. He withdrew his fingers from my opening and then rubbed my vulva with the palm of his hand.

“Has any other bastard’s cock ever been inside you here?”

I gasped, swallowing my breath at his vulgar language, and hurriedly shook my head.

Only then did the sharp look in the man’s eyes, which had been narrowed tightly enough to cut, soften.

“Take good care of your cunt.”

“Heuk...”

“Because I plan to be the first to taste your hole.”

His voice, muttering as he licked the tears on my cheeks, somehow seemed to carry a reddish hue.

When his fingers emerged from my underwear, they were wet and sticky with an unidentified fluid. He nonchalantly put them in his mouth and sucked on them. It was I who was horrified by the sight.

“Your cunt juice is sweet too.”

“Plea, please, don’t...”

The crude language, the first I had ever experienced, was enough to burn the inside of my chest as black as ash.

I became deeply afraid that someone might discover this secret and unhealthy act. As proof of this anxiety, I increasingly glanced at the drawing-room door, which could open at any moment.

Perhaps sensing my unease, the man straightened my disheveled clothes.

He gnawed at my cheek before twisting his head and moving towards my lips. My exhausted body contracted sharply, and I hastily blocked his shoulder. But he lightly ignored my restraint and finally pressed his lips against mine.

My first kiss.

This was no different from my first kiss in my life. As I was stunned by the shock, the man’s thick tongue teased my lower lip as if yearning, then gradually forced its way in between.

“Eup.”

The tongue that invaded like a slippery predator thoroughly stirred my sensitive mucous membranes and traced each of my even teeth.

A chilling sensation ran down my spine, and my eyelids fluttered. At first, I was embarrassed and surprised and disliked it, but as it continued, a strange sensation ignited my body, blurring even the remaining rationality.

Finding my tongue, which was hidden like a mouse in a corner, he entangled it tightly, and I heard wet smacking sounds. He sucked on my lips for a long time, stealing all my saliva and breath.

When I gasped for air, he even blew his own breath into me and continued the kiss. It was a persistent and tenacious kiss.

When our tongues intertwined and rubbed together like vines, my vision blurred, and a warm heat pooled in my stomach. Along with the unfamiliar act, the lascivious sensation he evoked melted the nerves throughout my body like mush.

And so, I had to mix tongues stickily for a long time with the man I would have to call Father in a few months.

The damp sound of rain continued endlessly.

* * *

Summer arrived, and the heat wave persisted.

It was a night where the incessant chirping of cicadas, as if in a frenzy, irritated my ears.

The temperature, which had risen to the point of almost constricting one’s throat, was no exception even at night. But regardless of such seasonal changes, I couldn’t easily fall asleep for other reasons.

It seemed better to just fall asleep, so I forcibly pulled the blanket over my head a few minutes ago. Everything in front of my eyes and in my mind was dyed black, but strangely, my mind only became clearer.

In time with the ticking of the grandfather clock’s hands, my heart continued its strange, thumping rhythm.

I have to sleep, sleep. Quickly. Rosen.

Even as I tried to soothe myself, my mind was so clear that I could have gone outside and played without any trouble. Perhaps it was because I couldn’t calm the fog-like fear.

It was then, after holding the blanket with sweaty hands for a long time.

From far away, I suddenly sensed a presence.

It was the dead of night, when even the servants had gone off duty and returned to their quarters. There was only one person who would come looking for my bedroom.

The blanket that had been covering me slowly slipped down. I desperately wanted to hold onto it, but perhaps doing so would only lead to more merciless treatment. Because of that worry, the strength in my hands naturally loosened. While the blanket moved down to my feet, I curled up, stiff as a herbivore hiding from a carnivore.

A large shadow, like that of a monster, fell on the wall. The thought of being crushed by it and having to show an unwanted appearance already made me suffocate.

“Rosen.”

The man’s breath, leaning over me, shattered in my ear. His heavy frame forcibly wedged between my curled-up legs and burrowed in.

Rough hands slowly rolled up the white negligee that came down to my knees.

“Good girl.”

He praised me softly, his eyes taking in my instantly exposed breasts. It must have been referring to my appearance following his instruction not to wear underwear.

Even then, I stubbornly kept looking only at the wall.

“...Eueut.”

But as always, my foolish stubbornness didn’t last long against his skilled touch. The man traced the soft mounds of my breasts before pushing up the slightly spread flesh with the palm of his hand.

“Your body is thin, but your breasts are surprisingly fleshy.”

“Ah... euh.”

“Your nipples are cute too.”

His touch, persistently teasing my breasts as if with the sole purpose of arousing me, made me involuntarily gulp down my saliva. I knew that the man’s nighttime visits would absolutely not be good for my mother, and to uphold that conviction, I didn’t want to react, but he stimulated me so easily.

At the playful gesture of pinching my nipple and pulling it upwards, I bit my lip. Otherwise, a strange nasal sound seemed like it would escape.

“What did you do today?”

The voice that asked as if he had truly become my father was so plain that it was hard to believe he had been playing with me lewdly. When I didn’t answer, he scratched my nipple sharply with his fingernail as if urging me. At the pleasure that spread through my stomach along with the pain, I gasped and barely opened my mouth.

“I, I read a book.”

“What book?”

“In the study here, heueu, there is...”

While I was answering, he suddenly moved. I thought he was finally withdrawing the persistently tormenting touch, but instead, he lowered his face and flicked his tongue against my sharply erect nipple. The wet, soft taste buds touched the tip, and a shiver instantly ran down my spine.

“Heup.”

Unlike his not-so-delicate touch earlier, this time it moved so softly that my mind seemed to melt. Even right now, wasn’t he pursing his lips and sucking on my breast, then using the tip of his tongue to dig into and rub my nipple as if gouging it out?

I let out a boiling breath and grabbed the man’s head.

“You seem to like books. I’ll buy you some next time I have time.”

There was a discrepancy between his kind tone and the way he was gnawing on my nipple. But I couldn’t protest and could only hold onto him tightly, my chest heaving. Before I knew it, my swollen breast, red and inflamed, was wet with his saliva.

“Ah, ah...”

A tingling rapture spreading from the tip of my breast ran down my spine and made my thighs tremble. I shouldn’t feel good, but I do. If not for the last shred of my sanity, I would have wildly pulled his head towards my chest.

When the man pulled his lips away, there was a soft, wet smacking sound. He tilted his eyes upward and flicked the erect tip with his tongue. I knew he was doing it on purpose to show me.

After that, the man tormented my breasts relentlessly, like a child latched onto its mother’s teat. My body gradually melted into a sweltering heat.

“Your nipples are standing out.”

“Heut...”

His lips parted, and then his touch came back to my chest.

Having spent several secret nights together, the man had already finished exploring every corner of my body. After realizing that my erogenous zone was my breasts, he obsessively tormented them.

I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see my breasts being roughly squeezed in his grasp. But it was not a good choice. I felt even more keenly how his fingers stimulated my nipples and how he touched my areola.

Suddenly, a soft chuckle was heard. Hearing it, my eyes snapped open, all my efforts in vain.

“Why is your waist so tight?”

Flustered, I lowered my gaze and only then realized that I was tightly squeezing the man’s waist with my legs. It wasn’t to stimulate him, but an act caused by my instinct that couldn’t bear the itching between my legs.

“Does your pussy itch?”

“No, it’s not.”

As if to check directly, he forcibly spread my thighs, which I was trying to close at all costs. As my vulva was clearly exposed in the man’s sight, I couldn’t help but blush.

The man’s eyes, looking down at me, gradually hardened. His pupils, gleaming like those of a predator eyeing its prey, were proof that he was in the throes of intense excitement.

He lay down next to me and gently rubbed my lower abdomen. Then, he slyly moved down and softly stroked the tangled pubic hair. I should have become indifferent to his blatant touch by now, but I was still ashamed and hid my face in the pillow.

“The hair here is wet too.”

“Heuk...”

“Doesn’t it really itch?”

As if teasing me, he circled only around my clit. When I twitched and exhaled a hot breath, he bit my lip sharply, as if ordering me to tell the truth.

It is at times like these that I truly want to turn away from the man.

When my body heats up on its own, wanting him even though I don’t want to. When the itching that fills the inside of my stomach shakes my reason entirely, and in the end, I become the loser and have no choice but to declare defeat.

It was useless to endure any longer here. From what I had experienced over the past few days, the man pushed me to my limit until I showed the reaction he wanted. It was better to wave the white flag now than to cry and show an even more pathetic sight later.

“It itches.”

The answer leaked out like a sigh.

Barque pinched my cheek as if saying “good girl” and then mounted me. Trapped between the bed and the heavy man’s frame, I felt like I would be crushed. He deeply sucked on my nipples and, with his fingers, spread my labia and softly rubbed my clit.

“Ah, haahng.”

At the action of gently rolling up and down and then gradually applying more pressure, I tightened my grip on the sheet I was holding. The man busily moved his fingers, observing my face in the darkness. In his blue eyes, floating in the air, surged a desire as if he wanted to devour me alive right then and there.

The fingers that had been gently circling my vulva finally became wet with the abundant love juice and plunged deep into my opening. The entrance, as if it had been waiting for the invasion, squelched and greedily tightened around his fingers.

“Ah ah...!”

I gasped, moving my hand holding the sheet to the man’s clothes. The more the long fingers deeply scraped the wet inside of my opening, the more my vision blurred in spots. Just as I was about to close my legs at the dizzying sensation that felt like I would lose control, Barque firmly gripped my calves, stopping me.

“Shall we see how many times you go today?”

Another finger was inserted below. Everything about the large man was large, so even his fingers were thick, and with just two, my opening felt like it would burst.

“Heut, haah, ah... euhng!”

As he rubbed as if to unfold every wrinkle of my inner walls, I tilted my chin and cried like a cat. I knew I should lower my voice, but it didn’t go as I wished.

The speed at which he thrust upwards grew faster and faster. Accordingly, the amount of love juice splashing around with a squelching sound increased uncontrollably. My vision flickered more and more frequently, and I twisted my hips this way and that. Slowly, a climax that made me feel alien to myself was approaching.

As expected, a chilling thrill that struck my entire body made my thighs tense and my back arch in a curve. From below, blocked by his fingers, a gush of sticky liquid poured out. My vision clouded hazily and spun around.

My body, which had been convulsing shallowly with contracted muscles, soon went limp. I barely breathed, feeling a sense of powerlessness as if I had fallen off a cliff. As the man gently withdrew his fingers, sticky love juice stretched out long along his fingertips.

He spread the love juice evenly over my vulva and laughed lewdly. He was like a handsome libertine.

After fondling my vulva for a long time, the man raised my upper body.

He abruptly lifted me and lowered me to sit below the bed. Still unable to shake off the afterglow, I groggily lifted my head with hazy eyes.

Barque trapped me between his legs and slowly unbuckled his belt. But although the speed was slow, his movements were efficient, and before I knew it, the man’s thick flesh appeared right in front of my nose.

I was so surprised by the size, which was the first I had ever seen, and its somehow grotesque shape that I couldn’t help but stiffen my body. He must have thought I would try to run away, as he gripped the back of my head as if pressing down on it and murmured softly.

“Now, say ‘ah’.”

I hurriedly shook my head at the thing thrust right in front of my nose.

I had seen his fly bulging thickly a few times as he caressed me, but this was the first time seeing the real thing. And that unfamiliar thing... was so big.

The pillar, as thick as a child’s forearm, nestled among the hair, looked dark red with bulging veins. Moreover, the head, split in half and erect, was wet with an unidentified fluid.

Clearly, clearly, taking that in would be arduous.

An instinctive revulsion tightened my stomach and made me hesitate. Perhaps displeased with my reluctant attitude, the man firmly gripped my chin.

“Would you open your mouth if I dragged you in front of your mother and fed it to you?”

He would mention my mother every time I resisted this vehemently. It wasn’t that I wanted them to love each other, but the way he used my mother as nothing more than a tool broke my heart every time. Enduring the feeling that made me want to cry, I carefully parted my lips.

The man’s blunt head was rubbed against my lips as if applying rouge. That mere act brought up a fishy taste, making the inside of my mouth unpleasant. Instead of frowning, I looked up at the man, and his elegant eyes were softly curved, as if pleased.

With the feeling of falling into a swamp, I slightly stuck out my tongue and licked the head. At the single, timid flick of my tongue, the hand that had wrapped around my hair tightened its grip.

A bitter and tingling, unfamiliar taste spread across the tip of my tongue. I tried to relax my tense jaw and diligently licked his manhood in my own way. Before long, a low chuckle settled over my head.

“You have to put it in your mouth and suck it. How long are you going to just lick the surface like that before you make me come?”

Along with the direct instruction, he moved his hips and thrust the head between my parted lips as if shoving it in.

“Ugh!”

The disgusting smell intensified even further. But the pressure was so strong that my throat was completely constricted, leaving me no room to even register him.

The flesh slowly stirring my mucous membranes wriggled and grew inside my wet opening as if relishing it. I was afraid it might burst out of my mouth, so I desperately moved my tongue.

“That’s right...”

He seemed pleased with the movement of my struggling tongue and whispered in a wet, hoarse voice.

“Heut, hmm... euhng.”

“Don’t just use your tongue; move your head back and forth as you suck.”

The man’s instructions were specific. I had no choice but to follow his orders. It wasn’t that I wanted to please him. I just wanted to end this disgusting act as quickly as possible.

Barely managing to hold the thick thing in my mouth, I subtly pulled my head back and then moved forward again. Then, the head went so deep that it stabbed my throat, and my cheeks bulged as if I had a candy in my mouth. In addition, a smacking sound came from my pursed lips.

“I thought only your lower hole was sticky.”

“Eueum, euhng, heueu.”

“Your upper hole is not bad either.”

I let his lewd exclamations go in one ear and out the other, but I flinched as his hand strangely wrapped around my nipple. The man had moved his hand down and was still twisting the thickly erect tip.

My lower hole, which had already experienced one orgasm and continued to expel fluids, began to throb again. Hot breaths escaped incessantly through my parted teeth. The inside of my chest was as hot as if I had swallowed a torch.

As my stomach became tinglingly hot, my head spun so much that I didn’t know what was what anymore. I just 힘겹게 sucked the man’s cock that had forced its way into my mouth, crushing my lips. Judging by the constant anguished sighs escaping his lips, he seemed to be enjoying it.

Yes, let’s just finish this quickly.

Thinking that, I moved my head back and forth repeatedly as he had taught me, caressing the thick thing in my mouth.

“Shall we try sucking it down your throat?”

He gently stroked the back of my head, then suddenly pulled my head sharply towards his lower abdomen. Eueup...! A painful groan escaped my lips, and I involuntarily tightened the inside of my throat.

At that moment, the pillar touching my tongue fiercely throbbed, and soon, something hot and wet was repeatedly ejaculated into my mouth.

He massaged his dark, wrinkled testicles as he powerfully ejaculated, then shook his hips once or twice and slowly pulled out his cock. A sticky fluid stretched long between my lips and his glans.

I barely managed to suppress a cough and fidgeted restlessly. It was because the clear evidence of the man’s release was vividly present in my mouth. The revolting smell made it impossible for me to swallow.

He abruptly lifted me and sat me on his lap. And as if he easily noticed the reason for my helplessness, he brought his hand to my chin.

“Spit it out.”

My eyes only rolled around, and I had no choice but to slightly part my lips. Then, the sticky, whitish fluid that had robbed me of my sense of taste mixed with saliva and flowed down. He caught it in his hand without any sign of disgust, then rubbed his cupped hand as if forming a ball before slipping it between my legs.

“Heueu, eut.”

Hot semen was smeared on my vulva. I wanted to close my thighs at the strange sensation, but sitting astride his legs made it impossible. At the feeling of my vulva slowly opening, I hugged his neck and stiffened my body.

Having filled my tight vulva with semen, he then came in for a kiss.

After giving me pecking kisses, he sharply bit my lower lip and then thrust his tongue inside. The memory of his rough insertion of his cock into my mouth a moment ago made my eyelids involuntarily flutter. He gripped my chin and languidly scanned the ceiling before wrapping his tongue around mine, hidden in the corner, and sucking on it.

When I gasped for breath and tried to turn my head, Barque quickly noticed and firmly cupped my cheeks. Haa, ha. At my rapid breaths that leaked through the parted lips, he pulled out his tongue and gently chewed on my upper lip.

“So, this is what my semen tastes like.”

“Eueung...”

He lingered for a long time, as if trying to unfold every wrinkle of my lips. A hand that had somehow climbed up again rolled and pinched my nipple, so I had no choice but to sob and hold onto him.

When he finally stopped kissing me, I was exhausted and just leaned against him limply. My mouth, filled with his thick cock, felt numb as if it had been poked repeatedly with something, and below, it was still hot with the lingering heat. My nipples were erect enough to protrude over my negligee.

But as if he had no intention of going further today, Barque only stroked my hair and looked down at me.

“It’s a wonder you haven’t been touched by any other bastard until now.”

He murmured, running his fingers through my golden sand-like hair.

Completely drained of energy, I couldn’t understand what he was saying and could only barely lift my eyes. The man, as if he would die if he didn’t touch me even for a moment, slyly lowered his hand and this time massaged my buttocks.

“With a face like this, and yet.”

“What, what is...”

“Even if you are illegitimate, you are still the Marquis’s granddaughter, aren’t you?”

Barque mumbled meaningless words and then laid me down on the bed. In truth, with my mind occasionally clouded, I didn’t even have the energy to delve into that story. I just wanted to fall into a deep sleep like this.

After that, the man mounted me and kissed me for a long time, caressing my damp body, and only left my bedroom just before dawn.

The stepfather was gone, but the traces he had left between my legs reminded me that the secret act that had taken place during the dawn was not a dream.

* * *

My mother was a woman of great renown.

As a member of the proud Marquis family, she attracted the attention of many with her outstanding beauty as soon as she made her debut, and naturally, she became the center of popularity.

An impeccable birth, exceptional beauty, and the ability to have anything she desired. These were the phrases that described my mother, Sillian.

Therefore, no one had expected that she would fall in love with a commoner and suddenly disappear, leaving behind everything she possessed.

The other party in what was no different from a scandal of the century was a gardener, a commoner who had been with the Marquis family since my mother was young. They had chosen to elope in defiance of my grandfather’s intention to force my mother’s engagement.

Love was a truly passionate and impulsive emotion.

When surrounded by it, one felt the confidence and will to do anything, but as soon as one emerged from that emotion, all of it would return as regret and self-loathing, like a headwind. Especially for those with power.

That general truth was no exception for my mother.

For me, my mother was no different from a small world. I often thought that if the person who had taken responsibility for me throughout my life had been my father instead of my mother, I would not have lived so comfortably.

Because my father was a lowly and wretched person.

I have no memories of my father. But the reason I concluded that was because my grandfather had always referred to my father that way.

My grandfather, the Marquis, disliked me. When he saw my blonde hair, which resembled my mother’s, his eyes, which had shown a somewhat stable current, would instantly sharpen when they met my reddish-brown pupils, which resembled my father’s.

He said that my paternal traits were stronger than my maternal ones. In other words, my appearance greatly resembled my father, who had once been a gardener.

Every time we met, my grandfather openly showed his desire to draw out and eliminate the commoner father’s blood that flowed within me. It was always my mother who protected me from his raised thorns.

“You don’t have to be so wary. Rosen, no matter what anyone says, you are my daughter.”

As if she knew my anxious heart, fearing that my grandfather might sell me off somewhere without her knowledge, my mother would hold me every night and say those words.

Yes, my mother was, therefore, my world.

My mother, who allowed me to proudly hold my head high in the Marquis’s residence, which was no different from a thin sheet of ice for me.

<This marriage was secured with great difficulty, so there must absolutely be no incident caused by your existence that ruins it.>

Therefore, I had to obey my grandfather’s words.

Listening to his harsh words, I felt like dirty sewage splattered on my mother’s reputation, which was like white paper. A stain that wouldn’t erase no matter how much I tried to remove it, a trace that starkly pointed to a past mistake.

Already, my very existence had blocked many things in my mother’s life. Within my small world, it was truly unbearable that my own existence was an obstacle. Therefore, I earnestly wished for my mother’s marriage to be successful.

I believed it could be.

...If only the man who was to become my father hadn’t shown interest in me.