#40: The First Fall of the New Year

On her first day at work, during the lunch break, Jiang Beibei lay sprawled on the table, listlessly playing with her chopsticks, and asked Huang Yuanbao, ‘Yuanbao, why is your dating life so simple?’

Huang Yuanbao, having been an adult for some time, immediately extracted Jiang Beibei’s underlying meaning from her words: ‘Oh, you mean establishing a relationship in bed?’

Jiang Beibei sat up and hissed, ‘Lower your voice! Can’t you be less explicit? There are walking, talking free public address systems all around. Let’s be subtle.’

She pulled her stool closer and asked Huang Yuanbao, ‘I video-chatted with you on the second day of the new year, and you still complained about my fourth brother’s small eyes. When I mentioned him, your expression was reluctant, like I was forcing a match. How did you two get together so quickly on the third day? I don’t really understand. Was it just pure physical attraction, or are you seriously dating?’

‘Seriously dating, of course! If it was just a one-night stand, who would be crazy enough to get up early and report to you guys? Telling you means we’re seriously planning to live together and try marriage.’

Jiang Beibei was surprised: ‘So fast... How did you know he also wanted a serious relationship with you?’

Now it was Huang Yuanbao’s turn to be surprised: ‘Reporter Jiang, didn’t you have a puberty? How could you not know this! Don’t you have someone you like?’

‘This is my first love,’ Jiang Beibei said, stabbing her straw into her milk tea and taking a big gulp. ‘The previous ones don’t count. I had crushes in junior high on my deskmate, the students in front and behind me, the sports representative, the math representative, and the most popular guy in the class next door, but none of them count.’

‘Let’s not talk about before adulthood,’ Huang Yuanbao said. ‘Did you like anyone in college?’

‘Do you think so? You know the situation...’ Jiang Beibei said. ‘All sorts of weird people... I didn’t even have the slightest interest in getting to know them. Looking around, they all seemed the same, same voice, same face, ordinary and colorless. How could they compare to my Yao-ge? Not even mentioning my Yao-ge, which of my brothers isn’t better than them?’

‘You’ve been spoiled,’ Huang Yuanbao said understandingly. ‘I’m not just flattering you, but the average quality of the men in your unit, including the older generation, is above average. And I’m not just talking about looks, I mean everything! Xiao Jiang, have you noticed that your brothers have a particularly outstanding advantage? None of them are sexist pigs. Their intelligence, emotional intelligence, and vision are all reliable. Seriously, I’m not just saying this to please you. I’ve been doing shows for so many years, and let me tell you, some people are elites in their careers but a disaster in their personal lives. You don’t even need to get to know them deeply; a few words reveal it. It’s a human catastrophe! What I fear most are these seemingly glamorous social elites who are rotten old men inside.’

‘Hehe, that’s...’ Jiang Beibei said proudly, ‘My brothers all have a conscience. Take my eldest and second brothers, for example. You don’t see many like them in society. How many people lie through their teeth to get married and have kids and still look down on their partners? Look at them two. If they really wanted to have sham marriages, it would actually be the hardest to detect. The brothers have always had a good relationship and are close, so no one would suspect anything. Even though it would be easy to do and would reduce the pressure on them, my brothers simply wouldn’t stoop to that. That’s what it means to live like a human being. Because my eldest and second brothers are like this, I have the confidence to bless them. My brothers aren’t those social scumbags. They have principles and bottom lines. They know what they can and cannot do. They’d rather bear the pressure themselves, be beaten and scolded, than harm innocent people. So, if anyone dares to break them up one day, I’ll be the first to rush forward. Damn it, they’ll have to go through me first!’

After Jiang Beibei finished speaking, she realized that Huang Yuanbao had been completely stunned for a long time.

It took Jiang Beibei a while to react and remember that although Huang Yuanbao knew her second brother’s sexual orientation, she didn’t know that his partner was her eldest brother.

‘Uh... you didn’t hear anything!’ Jiang Beibei said.

Huang Yuanbao slowly raised her hand and gave a thumbs-up: ‘So those two are a couple. Wow. Case closed. Next time I’ll bring a bouquet of carnations for your eldest brother too.’

Jiang Beibei asked nervously, ‘If you didn’t know, could you tell?’

‘Couldn’t tell,’ Huang Yuanbao said. ‘Honestly, your brothers are usually quite ‘gay’ with each other, and the ‘gayer’ men are, the less I can tell. Besides, your eldest brother doesn’t talk much and is so serious, caring about this one minute and that one the next. I really couldn’t tell.’

‘That’s good,’ Jiang Beibei breathed a sigh of relief. ‘If I hadn’t stumbled upon it, I wouldn’t have been able to tell either. It’s still safe... Yuanbao, don’t say anything! I wasn’t thinking straight and just blurted it out, assuming you knew...’

‘Understood. I’m much more reliable than you,’ Huang Yuanbao said. ‘I’ve personally witnessed your heroic deeds in making up stories to save your second brother, and I know the difficulties. Don’t worry, I know my limits.’

When it was time, Jiang Beibei picked up her milk tea and bag and left the break room. The elevator was too crowded, so she and Huang Yuanbao took the emergency stairs down to the office.

‘I just changed my bag today,’ Jiang Beibei said, who usually carried a backpack and rarely used a shoulder bag. Showing her new shoulder bag to Huang Yuanbao, she raised her arm. ‘I’m not used to it. It feels really cumbersome hanging on my arm.’

‘I always use a clutch,’ Huang Yuanbao said. ‘It has more presence.’

‘Oh, please, hahaha...’

After laughing, Jiang Beibei suddenly realized that she seemed to have forgotten to ask something: ‘Yuanbao, what was I going to ask just now?’

‘I’m not a worm in your stomach. How would I know what you want to ask?’

Jiang Beibei took a sip of her milk tea and skipped down the stairs, suddenly remembering what she wanted to ask: ‘Yuanbao!! I was going to ask you, how do you guys know when to confirm a relationship! Is it through hints? What was the atmosphere like at the time? How could you tell he understood? Or did he give you a hint that you picked up on? How do you know for sure?!’

She turned her head and said, ‘It’s the same with my eldest and second brothers. They just said they naturally understood... But I always feel like something’s missing. Yao-ge is like wearing a seven-colored robe. I don’t know how to peel off this layer, no matter how good I am to him...’

Huang Yuanbao: ‘What’s a seven-colored robe?’

‘...Haven’t you seen the old version of ‘Journey to the West’?’ Jiang Beibei said disdainfully. ‘There’s an episode where the queen of a kingdom is beautiful, and a monster captures her. An old immortal, upon learning this, gives the queen a seven-colored robe for protection. When the queen wears it, the monster’s hand gets stung whenever it touches her, so he can never get close to her.’

Huang Yuanbao was silent for a few seconds before bursting into laughter that shook heaven and earth, with an average of six echoes for each ‘ha.’

Jiang Beibei stomped her foot: ‘So how exactly do you guys confirm a relationship?!’

‘You’re about to get engaged, and you still don’t know?’

‘There’s a seven-colored robe,’ Jiang Beibei pouted. ‘He’s wearing a seven-colored robe, and I’m the monster. What does getting engaged even mean? A bunch of little demons hold a wedding and say the queen is yours, Your Majesty. Does that mean I can actually sleep with him? I’d still get stung, unable to defile him...’

‘Hahahaha, Jiang Beibei, you’re so funny! Even funnier than Song Damiao! How did I not realize you were this funny before?!’

‘Get lost!!’ Jiang Beibei angrily hit Yuanbao, but unexpectedly used too much force and twisted her waist. Before she could even yelp, her awkward posture caused her to lose balance. Her feet instinctively maintained the descending-stairs position, but her brain was a beat behind. Jiang Beibei missed a step and tumbled down the stairs with a crash.

Huang Yuanbao’s reply echoed in the stairwell, sung rather than spoken, possibly lyrics from a song: ‘Confirmed the look in your eyes, I met the right person. Get it?’

‘...Jiang Beibei!!’

Jiang Beibei was in so much pain that cold sweat broke out all over her. She had the absurd thought of sawing off her incredibly painful leg, yet also wanted to lift it up to try and prove that it would be fine if she could just stand up. In the end, she trembled, bit her tongue, cursed, and said, ‘Yuanbao!! It hurts so much!!!’

Huang Yuanbao supported her and asked if she could stand up. But when their eyes looked down, Jiang Beibei immediately burst into tears: ‘Damn it! Is this my foot?!’

Her ankle was swelling rapidly, the size almost catching up to her thigh.

Huang Yuanbao immediately kicked off her high heels, tossed them into Jiang Beibei’s shoulder bag, ignoring Jiang Beibei’s cry that the bag wasn’t cheap, and carried Jiang Beibei on her back, running towards the elevator. ‘You’ve twisted your ankle!’

Jiang Beibei lay on Huang Yuanbao’s back, tears streaming down her face. ‘This is what I call going through thick and thin together! Huang Yuanbao, you’re so damn good to me!’

Huang Yuanbao: ‘Get lost! I’ll carry you to the elevator, then find a male colleague to carry you! You’re not light either, girl!’

Jiang Beibei: ‘Shut up!! Friendship over for three seconds! I’m supposed to go to a banquet tonight to discuss the engagement date! What do I do?!’

‘Have your boyfriend carry you!’ Huang Yuanbao said. ‘Don’t worry, for something like an engagement, let alone one of you, even ten of you, your boyfriend could carry!’

After the topic ended, Jiang Beibei noticed the pain again: ‘嘤, it hurts so much!!’

Fortunately, the taxi driver was efficient. Jiang Beibei arrived at the hospital for X-rays and medication. Soon, the results came out, and the doctor said, ‘A hairline fracture.’

‘So serious! How could it be fractured?!’ Jiang Beibei didn’t believe it at all. ‘Doctor! This is my first day at work! Don’t you think this is a bad omen for my luck this year?’

Doctor: ‘Wait a moment, you look familiar.’

Jiang Beibei immediately fell silent.

‘Ah!’ The doctor slapped his forehead, remembering. ‘Yan Qingming’s younger sister, right!’

Ten minutes later, Yan Qingming rushed over, took a look, asked about the cause of the accident, took the pen from his collar, and wrote on Jiang Beibei’s cast: No talking while walking, no walking while talking. Hope my little sister remembers this.

‘I’m going back,’ Yan Qingming wrote, then hurriedly ran back upstairs to work.

Huang Yuanbao went back to work and also asked for half a day off for Jiang Beibei, asking Song Lang to come to the hospital to take Jiang Beibei home.

After Song Lang arrived, he saw the words on the cast and also took out a colored pen to sign his name.

Jiang Beibei carefully stomped her one good foot to protest: ‘Hey!’

Song Lang squatted down, revealing his strong, broad back: ‘Get on.’

Jiang Beibei said, ‘Just help me, it’ll be fine.’

She didn’t want all her brothers to know the painful reality of her small chest and empty cup size!

Song Lang got up and helped her hop along with a limp, sighing, ‘Oh dear, still being so polite with me. If you don’t get on, I wonder how you’ll get home later. If you don’t let me carry you, I’ll just drop you off at your second brother’s place, and you two can recover together!’

‘Then to second brother’s place,’ Jiang Beibei said. ‘Let second brother chat with me to relieve boredom. Two patients comforting each other.’

Song Lang really did drop Jiang Beibei off at Tang Xizhou’s house, which delighted Tang Xizhou. It was like he had a new toy, his eyes shining: ‘I was just worried about having nothing to do at home!’

He immediately started rummaging for colored pens.

Jiang Beibei wailed, ‘Second brother! Have mercy!’

‘I’ll draw a dog’s head for you!’ Tang Xizhou said. ‘The autographed kind!’

When Chu Yao received the news and rushed back, it was already evening. The original plan to have dinner tonight and set the date was also ruined.

Jiang Beibei lay on the sofa on the first floor, her leg in a cast propped up on the back of the sofa, playing on her phone while counting Tang Xizhou’s push-ups.

Tang Xizhou was doing one-handed push-ups again. Chu Yao entered and opened his arms: ‘Let’s go, I’ll carry you back.’

Tang Xizhou pointed at Jiang Beibei’s colorful cast and said, ‘I specially left you some space. Find a place to draw when you get back!’

Chu Yao smiled, picked up Jiang Beibei horizontally, and went out, directly encountering Qin Yuan returning from work.

‘What happened here?’ Qin Yuan lifted Jiang Beibei’s casted foot. ‘How did you get hurt?’

Jiang Beibei said, feeling wronged and embarrassed, ‘I missed a step.’

Qin Yuan: ‘How could you be so careless on your first day of work?’

After speaking, he took out the pen from his bag and also wrote a sentence on the cast, signing his name: ‘Jiang Beibei is a clumsy ghost — Qin Yuan.’

Jiang Beibei rolled her eyes: ‘How childish.’

Qin Yuan closed the pen cap and stepped aside: ‘It’s been so many years since Fourth Brother got rid of his cast, almost half a lifetime. I haven’t seen this thing in ages. I have to draw on it. You guys go ahead.’

Chu Yao carried Jiang Beibei upstairs. When they reached the door, Qin Yuan helped them knock. They heard Jiang Beibei say to Chu Yao, ‘Yao-ge, let me see your eyes.’

Chu Yao replied softly, ‘See what? Love?’ He lowered his head and kissed Jiang Beibei. Qin Yuan reached back, grabbed his head, and gave it a shove.

Then, swinging his hand, he muttered as he went upstairs, ‘So mushy! So disgustingly mushy! What’s so interesting about it!’

Jiang Beibei was injured, so Chu Yao stayed at her house for dinner.

When Grandma brought the after-dinner fruit to the living room, she saw Jiang Beibei resting her leg on Chu Yao while leisurely watching TV. Chu Yao had a pen and was drawing on her cast.

Grandma said, ‘Yao’er, are your parents back yet?’

‘They’re still on their way.’

‘Then what’s the plan for tonight?’

‘I asked. There aren’t that many taboos. It won’t delay setting the date.’

Jiang Beibei hiccuped in surprise and started chewing on her fingers.

Chu Yao asked what she was thinking. Jiang Beibei leaned close to his ear and whispered, ‘We haven’t actually slept together. Would it be considered fraud if we really get engaged?’

Chu Yao asked with a smile, ‘Who’s defrauding whom?’

‘...Maybe I’m defrauding you?’

Chu Yao said, ‘Defraud away, I’ll gladly accept it.’