#134: Whispering (3)

When she opened the door, she noticed the change in his gaze. He had never looked at her with such intensity, as if he was captivated and awestruck by her. He had never kissed her like that either—so dominant and passionate that she could barely withstand it. He even loosened some of her clothing, leaving marks on her body.

He was claiming her, and it thrilled her to the core of her soul.

And now he was telling her not to come closer!

She would only obey him if ghosts walked the earth!

With a pout, Shen Xiling moved closer to Qi Yin. Instead of hugging him from behind, she stepped in front of him, nestling into his arms and looking up at him petulantly. “Why can’t I come closer? I will come closer! And I won’t let go!”

She seemed genuinely upset, her little face puffed up with indignation, tinged with a hint of hurt, as if blaming him for being too harsh. It made Qi Yin feel both heartache and helplessness.

The young girl was still inexperienced in matters of love and didn’t realize how difficult it was for him to restrain himself. He couldn’t explain it directly to her, so he had no choice but to endure while holding her and soothing her. “Alright, alright, I was wrong. Do as you wish...”

After hearing him pacify her for a moment, Shen Xiling finally cheered up—she was easy to please. As long as he gave in just a little, she wouldn’t sulk anymore.

Without holding any grudges, she snuggled into his embrace, giggling softly. She tugged at his hand and said, “Isn’t this a bit funny? It feels like we’re doing something naughty…”

Her laughter was radiant and innocent, free of any resentment. She seemed utterly unbothered by their clandestine encounter, but Qi Yin felt a pang of guilt. After holding her silently for a while, he said, “It’s my fault. I should have…”

Before he could finish, she interrupted him.

Her delicate index finger pressed against his lips, her brows furrowed slightly. “You’re not at fault, and there’s nothing you ‘should’ do. I’m happy—so, so happy. There’s absolutely no unhappiness.”

Qi Yin gazed at her, his emotions deepening. For a moment, they were silent.

Perhaps words weren’t necessary between them. At times like this, silence spoke louder than words. Qi Yin pulled her into his arms.

The young girl was delighted, resting quietly and gently in his embrace. She tugged at his hand and asked, “Will you leave soon? Are you going back to entertain those guests?”

Qi Yin responded affirmatively. Then he heard her ask, “Who are those people? I’ve never seen them before…”

He chuckled and replied, “This year’s newly ranked Jinshi scholars—the top three.”

She seemed intrigued, letting out an “Oh,” then laughed. “That’s impressive—consider this meal on me.”

Her boldness amused Qi Yin. He pulled her out of his embrace, lightly tapping her nose. “Young lady, flaunting your wealth like that isn’t good.”

Shen Xiling loved it when he called her “young lady.” It always made her feel cherished. She wrinkled her nose and said, “I don’t care. Anyway, it’s all mine.”

She muttered this half-jokingly, then looked mischievously at Qi Yin. “Is Lord reluctant to spend my money? It doesn’t matter. After all, once we leave Jiankang, I’ll be the one earning money anyway. You might as well get used to it now.”

Her words were half-serious, half-teasing, utterly charming. Qi Yin smiled, thought for a moment, and said, “In that case, I’ll take advantage of your generosity.”

“Go ahead,” she giggled, her eyes curving into crescents. She added coyly, “Only for you.”

He laughed, and she followed suit, her heart overflowing with sweetness. She took his hand again, gazing at him with dewy eyes, and said, “I even put on makeup today… Why didn’t you compliment me on how beautiful I look?”

Her expression was intriguing—a mix of girlish innocence and shyness, along with a touch of mature allure and flirtation. What made it even more captivating was that she knew she was beautiful and that her beauty had already captivated this man. This awareness gave her a subtle air of triumph, making her appear a little mischievous yet even more endearing.

Qi Yin smiled, willingly falling under her spell. His index finger lightly touched her cheek as he countered, “When are you not beautiful?”

She had been teasing him, but now his words turned the tables, leaving her blushing instead.

Shen Xiling felt a twinge of frustration but also an even sweeter warmth. She nestled into his arms again, tugging at his sleeve. “But am I especially beautiful today…?”

He held her close, smiling as he replied, “Mm, exceptionally beautiful.”

Her cheeks flushed even more. She tilted her head up to look at him and asked, “Then… how beautiful am I?”

She felt so embarrassed after asking such a shameless question that she wanted to hide, but he thoughtfully considered it, his expression tender. He leaned down to kiss her lightly and replied, “So enchanting that I can’t stop thinking about you, tossing and turning through the night.”

A graceful lady, pursued day and night.

Unattainable, yet haunting one’s thoughts.

Endlessly, endlessly, tossing and turning.

—These were words of restrained yet fervent affection.

Shen Xiling’s face burned with heat.

How could this person suddenly say something so wonderful?

They lingered together for a while longer.

Qi Yin couldn’t keep Li Wei and the others waiting for too long, so after another cup of tea, he had to leave. Although Shen Xiling knew it wasn’t right to delay him, she selfishly didn’t want to let him go. Though her hands released him, her eyes remained fixed on him, unwilling to let him leave.

Qi Yin kissed her forehead and said, “I’ll come back to see you tonight, alright?”

Hearing this, Shen Xiling’s eyes lit up. But then she remembered how he had promised to return before but hadn’t, so she looked at him suspiciously and asked cautiously, “Really?”

Qi Yin smoothed her hair and chuckled. “Really. I promise I’ll return.”

She didn’t know about the northern expedition—it was a state secret. This battle could not be lost, and he might have to personally oversee the frontlines. The date wasn’t far off. It was something significant, and he should inform her in advance.

Unaware of his plans, Shen Xiling was still happy and finally agreed to let him go. But just as he reached the door, she stopped him, raising her sleeve to wipe away the vivid lipstick mark she’d left on his neck. Her face flushed crimson as she did so.

Qi Yin left first. After he and the new Jinshi scholars departed, Shen Xiling emerged from the private room on the third floor. When she asked the manager, she learned that Qi Yin had still paid the bill before leaving—he hadn’t taken advantage of her hospitality.

For a moment, Shen Xiling felt both exasperated and amused.

What could she say about this man?

That evening, Qi Yin didn’t break his promise. He returned to Fenghe Garden before the hour of Xu and shared dinner with Shen Xiling.

At the table, Shen Xiling questioned him about why he had still paid the bill today. He simply smiled without answering. She complained a few more times, but eventually, unable to change his mind, she let it go.

After dinner, the servants withdrew, leaving the two of them alone in Huaijin Courtyard. It was then that Qi Yin told Shen Xiling about the northern expedition.

The young girl was terrified.

Truly terrified.

At first, she couldn’t believe it. Then she became incoherent, looking at Qi Yin and asking, “You… you’re going to the battlefield? But… but you’re a civil official, not a general commanding troops. Why do you have to go to the battlefield? Can’t they handle their own affairs? Why does everything have to rely on you…?”

She was truly panicked, speaking rapidly and appearing completely disoriented. Qi Yin pulled her into his arms and comforted her. “Military matters are ever-changing. The information I receive in the Privy Council is always delayed. Being there in person will give me a clearer understanding—I’m not going to fight; I’ll just oversee the operations. There’s no danger to my life.”

But Shen Xiling wasn’t easily reassured. She remained frantic. Qi Yin sighed and took her hand, saying, “Once this is over, I’ll take you away—alright?”

Shen Xiling was sharp. Hearing this, she immediately sensed something was off. She clutched his sleeve, on the verge of tears, and asked, “Is it because of me? Are you going to war because you want to take me away?”

Her intelligence left Qi Yin feeling a bit helpless. He pinched her cheek and said, “No…”

But Shen Xiling didn’t believe him. She exclaimed loudly, “Yes, you are! You are!”

She burst into tears.

Panic-stricken.

She understood. She understood.

He wanted to take her away, but he was such a compassionate and responsible person. He seemed to feel that every blade of grass, every breath, every life was connected to him. He couldn’t abandon these responsibilities, which was why he was so eager to go to war—to stabilize the land so that peace would remain in Jiangzuo after he left.

It was all for her!

She cried even harder, tears streaming as she stared at him intently. “We won’t leave, alright? If we don’t leave, you won’t have to rush. You won’t have to go to the battlefield. Alright? We won’t leave. I don’t want to leave anymore—I don’t want to at all…”

She became even more incoherent.

Qi Yin knew she had figured it out. Her worry and panic weighed heavily on his heart, and he could feel the burden in her soul.

He wiped away her tears and asked, “Not leaving? Have you thought it through?”

She nodded firmly. “I’ve thought it through. We won’t leave.”

He chuckled, teasing her. “If we don’t leave, I won’t be able to delay my marriage to Princess Liu anymore.”

Marrying someone else would naturally devastate Shen Xiling, but compared to his safety, what did it matter?

Shen Xiling looked at Qi Yin with utmost seriousness and certainty. “Nothing matters more than your safety—even if you have to marry someone else, even if we have to part forever, as long as you’re safe, I can accept it all.”

She wasn’t joking.

Even if losing him would leave her heartbroken, even if the long years ahead would make her feel like her heart had no place to rest, even if she had to watch him grow old with someone else and raise children.

As long as he was safe, everything else could be endured.

Qi Yin saw her sincerity. The depth of her resolve was almost heroic, and it deeply moved him. At the same time, it made him love her even more.

He stopped teasing her and looked at her with the same seriousness and conviction.

“Wenwen, I won’t make a choice,” his expression grave, as if bearing a thousand weights. “I won’t abandon either you or this country. Once I’ve started, I’ll see it through to the end.”

“You don’t have to make a choice either,” he said solemnly, his eyes reflecting boundless determination. “I won’t let you lose anything.”

Shen Xiling gazed at Qi Yin through tear-filled eyes, her heartbeat racing faster.

She had always thought she loved him enough, to the very limits of what one person could feel for another. But later, she realized she could love him even more, because his goodness kept surpassing her expectations.

He…

“Don’t think about anything. Trust me,” he pulled her back into his arms, his voice low. “Once all this is over, we’ll leave.”

“I’ll always be by your side.”

Shen Xiling didn’t know what else to say. She just cried in his arms, clinging tightly to him without letting go, unsure whether it was from sadness or overwhelming emotion.

She sobbed uncontrollably, pulling at him tightly. “You… will you be alright? Will you get hurt? Will you…?”

She couldn’t bring herself to say the word.

Qi Yin knew what she wanted to ask. He gently stroked her hair and said, “No.”

She continued crying. “Swear it!”

He smiled, granting her every request. “I swear.”

But she cried even harder.

She couldn’t change him, nor could she help him. All she could do was watch him walk steadfastly down the path he had chosen.

And she knew: If this path led to life, he would take her with him. But if it led to death…

…he would silently bear it alone.