CS - 77

The air froze for a second.

Something in the cold, solid air slowly melted away, and then Chi Yao said, “I’m not upset.”

“Do you know what you’re like right now?” Lin Zhexia looked at him and said, “You’re like someone who’s drunk but insists they’re not.”

“...”

Chi Yao didn’t say anything.

After a while, he raised his eyebrows: “Have you ever thought that this person might actually be sober?”

He added, “Not everyone has as low of a tolerance as you.”

Lin Zhexia: “Then smile for me.”

Chi Yao: “...”

She added, “Not one of those fake smiles. I mean a genuine smile from the heart. If you dare, show me a real smile.”

Chi Yao passed by her and went to the kitchen to get water: “No smiling.”

“You’re definitely upset.”

“Not upset.”

Lin Zhexia got off the sofa and followed him into the kitchen: “Then why won’t you smile?”

“Sorry,” Chi Yao closed the refrigerator door, bickering with her as he had countless times before, “I’m the kind of person who likes to keep my happiness subtle.”

“...”

What subtlety.

Lin Zhexia couldn’t argue with him.

Just as the refrigerator door closed and Chi Yao hadn’t yet pulled his hand back, she took the opportunity to bend down and actively squeezed through the gap between Chi Yao and the refrigerator. After standing up straight, their position made it look like Chi Yao had pinned her against the fridge.

They were very close.

After instinctively squeezing in, Lin Zhexia suddenly didn’t know what to do next.

Her mind went blank for an instant.

Then she remembered something often said online: There’s nothing a couple can’t solve with a kiss.

So she tiptoed, leaned closer, and mustered the courage to kiss him.

Even though they had been together for so long, she was still quite awkward when it came to kissing. Perhaps it was because the person in front of her was Chi Yao.

No matter how long they’d been together, she still felt shy.

Chi Yao didn’t expect her to suddenly move in, and he clearly froze for a moment.

After Lin Zhexia finished the kiss and pulled back, she met his light-colored eyes and earnestly said, “I don’t like that guy from the skateboarding club.”

“Not just him, I don’t like people like him. The criteria I mentioned casually before, how could you take them seriously? That was such a long time ago; I’ve already forgotten about them.”

Lin Zhexia explained, veering slightly off-topic: “...When I was little, I even said I hoped you would kneel down and kowtow three times to me, but I never saw you obey me like that.”

“...”

The atmosphere once again fell into an eerie silence for a few seconds due to her mention of “kowtowing three times.”

As Lin Zhexia tried to continue saying something, Chi Yao lowered his hand. The chill he brought in from outside had unknowingly dissipated. After taking off his coat, all that remained was a thin sweater.

Chi Yao originally didn’t want to speak.

For him, this unnamed emotion shouldn’t be put into words.

But Lin Zhexia was too serious. She genuinely cared about every one of his emotions, so he couldn’t remain silent any longer.

He tightened his grip on the water bottle and avoided her gaze: “It’s not entirely because of that.”

“Not just him,” Chi Yao finally said, “but also others. You will meet many other people in the future.”

Their conversation ended here that night.

The clock struck twelve.

By this time, the dormitory building had already been locked, prohibiting students from entering or leaving.

Naturally, Lin Zhexia couldn’t return and had to spend the night at Chi Yao’s place.

Fortunately, she had temporarily stayed here during the holidays, so daily necessities and clothing were all available.

Nothing happened that night. The next morning, she had to attend an early class. Before falling asleep curled up in Chi Yao’s arms, she drowsily tried to figure out the meaning behind his last words. But it was too late, and her consciousness gradually became unclear. By the time she fell asleep, she still hadn’t figured it out.

The next morning, she returned to the dormitory early to get her textbooks.

Lan Xiaoxue had just gotten up and greeted her while brushing her teeth: “Back already?”

“Mm,” Lin Zhexia acknowledged, “Thanks for helping me put away the books yesterday.”

“It’s nothing, just a small favor.”

Lan Xiaoxue didn’t ask where she had gone last night and only said, “Last night during the dorm check, Qin Lei played two roles, helping you cover up. Otherwise, the dorm supervisor would have called you in for a talk today, which would have been annoying.”

The dorm checks at Lian University were very strict.

To ensure the safety of boarding students, there were many rules set for these inspections.

However, where there are policies, there are countermeasures. They usually found someone to impersonate the roommate who wasn’t in the dormitory first, then signed in after the inspection. But this method carried some risks.

Lin Zhexia worriedly asked, “Did the aunt not recognize her?”

Lan Xiaoxue pointed to a wig nearby, a long black-brown one, and said with some irritation, “Yesterday they all defected and joined other clubs. Qin Lei went to the cosplay club, and they gave away a wig on the day she joined, which came in handy.”

“...”

Things could work out like that.

“Then I’ll treat you guys to dinner tonight,” Lin Zhexia thought for a moment and politely said, “Feel free to suggest whatever you want to eat.”

Lan Xiaoxue readily agreed: “Alright, the school cafeteria just opened a new grilled fish restaurant. We’ll go there tonight.”

In the evening, Lin Zhexia let Chi Yao know and went to the cafeteria with a few roommates.

The grilled fish was quickly served, and the table was immediately filled with a large grill.

The group gathered around the grilled fish, talking about the club recruitment from the previous day.

“That wig was pretty useful.”

“If I had known, I would have joined your cosplay club. Our club didn’t give us anything.”

“...”

They chatted, but Lin Zhexia didn’t say anything.

She was a bit absent-minded while eating, picking up a piece of ginger ready to put it in her mouth.

Lan Xiaoxue reminded her: “That’s ginger you’re holding.”

Lin Zhexia: “...Oh, I didn’t see it clearly; it blended in.”

“What’s wrong?” Lan Xiaoxue asked, “Trouble in paradise?”

Lin Zhexia put down her chopsticks, indeed needing someone to confide in, and frankly said, “A bit.”

Others perked up their ears to listen.

Lin Zhexia briefly recounted what had happened between her and Chi Yao earlier, concluding, “I can’t understand why. Those were just things I casually said to tease him. And what did he mean by saying I’ll meet many other people in the future?”

What she didn’t say was: Could it be that he regrets being with her?

Does he want her to choose someone else?

……

But she quickly dismissed this reason as unlikely. Chi Yao wasn’t that kind of person.

She thought and thought but couldn’t figure out the real reason.

Lan Xiaoxue and Qin Lei, as outsiders, saw things more clearly: “What’s there to not understand? It’s pretty obvious.”

Lin Zhexia: “Obvious?”

Lan Xiaoxue: “Yes, he’s afraid that you’ll like someone else. He’s worried whether you really like him.”

Lin Zhexia didn’t understand.

In her mind, Chi Yao was someone she had liked for a long time and finally got together with. She never imagined that such a person would lose his composure because of her or worry about her liking someone else.

To her, Chi Yao should always be the dazzling, proud young man who seemed to shine with brilliance. He shouldn’t have such worries.

“He’s not concerned about your dating standards. What he’s worried about is that you might meet someone who fits those standards, like the skateboarding club president. You might end up liking someone like that instead of truly liking him.”

Lan Xiaoxue explained again, then asked in confusion, “How did you two end up together? I thought childhood sweethearts like you would have a solid relationship after getting together. That kind of relationship where both parties are sure of each other’s feelings. Why does he seem so insecure, as if he’s unsure of your feelings for him?”

How did they end up together?

Following Lan Xiaoxue’s words, Lin Zhexia traced back her thoughts: Because he pursued her, and then she agreed.

...

Thinking this far, she finally realized belatedly.

Chi Yao didn’t know that she had liked him since high school, so he must have thought she only liked him because he pursued her.

That’s why he was afraid she would meet someone who fit her “dating standards.”

This person might not be the skateboarding club president, but someone else.

That’s why he said, “You’ll meet many others in the future.”

Lin Zhexia finished paying early, quickly shoveled a few mouthfuls of food, then put down her chopsticks: “You guys eat slowly. I have something to say to him, so I’m leaving first.”

Lan Xiaoxue waved at her: “Go ahead, have a good talk with your boyfriend.”

Lin Zhexia had their class schedule and knew they had evening classes tonight.

So she timed it perfectly, waiting at the corner near their classroom before the class ended.

She crouched against the wall, memorizing vocabulary while waiting.

Soon, the bell rang.

Several people came out of the classroom arm in arm, and she immediately spotted the person surrounded by others, walking last.

The tall youth had long legs, one hand in his pocket. People around him were trying to offer him a pack of cigarettes like paying respects to a big brother. He glanced at the pack of cigarettes, didn’t reach for it, and just as he was about to say “take it away,” someone stood in front of him and declined on his behalf: “He doesn’t smoke.”

Chi Yao looked up and saw the unexpected girl in front of him.

Lin Zhexia, serious and even a bit angry: “Next time you try to give him cigarettes, I’ll report you.”

Others: “...”

“Sis, it’s a misunderstanding. We don’t smoke,” someone awkwardly tried to explain. “It’s precisely because we don’t smoke that we bought a pack to admire, just to see what cigarettes look like.”

“......”

Lin Zhexia wanted to roll her eyes.

But she had more important things to do this time, so she didn’t dwell on this topic.

She walked with Chi Yao toward the apartment.

“Are you going straight back?” Lin Zhexia asked. “Not eating at the cafeteria?”

Chi Yao said: “I’ll order takeout when I get back.”

Lin Zhexia made a soft “oh.”

When Chi Yao reached the apartment, he found her still following him: “You’re not going back to the dormitory?”

“Not going back,” Lin Zhexia held his hand, tightened her fingers, and said, “I’ll go back with you.”

Chi Yao hadn’t sorted out his thoughts yet and wanted some time to cool off. So he casually scared her, hinting: “If you stay at my place, you might not be able to wake up for your morning class tomorrow.”

Unexpectedly, Lin Zhexia wasn’t afraid this time.

Her ears turned red, but she still said: “Then I’ll be late.”

“Anyway,” her voice grew softer, “being late once isn’t a big deal; it takes three times to get penalized.”

Chi Yao’s throat tightened.

After a while, he managed to say: “Do you know what you’re saying?”

Lin Zhexia followed him into the elevator: “Of course I do. And, I have something else to tell you.”

Chi Yao couldn’t imagine what she wanted to say.

As they opened the door and entered the room, he wanted to turn on the light, but Lin Zhexia stopped him.

“Can we not turn on the light?” she nervously said. “I’m afraid I’ll feel embarrassed.”

Chi Yao’s hand paused in the air and didn’t press the switch.

Even without turning on the lights, there was still some faint brightness in the room. The dim light from outside filtered through the windows, casting outlines on the furniture.

She had so much to say but didn’t know where to start.

Lin Zhexia opened her mouth, flashes of memories from high school passing through her mind.

She hadn’t deliberately kept it a secret. At first, when Chi Yao said he had liked her for a long time, she didn’t know how to say it and missed the best chance to confess.

Later, whenever she wanted to say it, she couldn’t find the right moment.

Finally, she softly said: “I was very happy when you pursued me.”

“I never thought you would like me. I thought I’d probably only continue to secretly like you.”

Chi Yao rarely reacted so slowly.

His lips tightened as he grabbed the key point of her words: “What do you mean... continue to like me?”

Lin Zhexia searched for his eyes through the faint outline in the darkness. In the instant their eyes met through the dark, she said: “Because I liked you in high school.”

“At first, I didn’t realize it was liking. I just felt strange every time I got close to you. Later...” Lin Zhexia skipped over the long and trivial part, simply saying, “But you were my best friend. I couldn’t like you, and I certainly couldn’t let you find out I liked you.”

“So when you pursued me, I was really happy.”

She recounted the events that only she knew about: “I was nervous when we took couple photos together. On Valentine’s Day, when you sat next to me during the movie, I even wanted to thank He Yang.”

“You were going on stage, and I watched you play the guitar at your house. I wanted you to not go because I didn’t want others to see you.”

She never expected to seriously confess to Chi Yao now.

The feeling of confession was strange.

The person standing in front of Chi Yao was her, yet it felt like it wasn’t her.

It was her from high school.

The her who secretly liked Chi Yao back then finally spoke the words she never got a chance to say in high school.

“I’ve also... liked you for a very, very long time.”

Lin Zhexia finished speaking, and the entire room fell into extreme silence.

“So I won’t,” she finally declared, “even if I meet many others in the future, I’ll only like you.”

After she finished speaking, she quietly waited for Chi Yao’s response.

Due to nervousness, she distracted herself by guessing what Chi Yao might say—would he arrogantly say “it’s normal to like me,” or be moved beyond words...

But Chi Yao didn’t say a word.

Instead, with strong aggression, he reached out and pressed the back of her neck, forcing her closer. It was as if he had already adapted to the darkness, capturing her accurately without missing a beat. She had no strength to resist in front of him.

Then, his kiss descended.

This kiss was different from all previous ones. He had never kissed her so recklessly before. They were like two people on the verge of suffocation, exchanging their last breath of oxygen.

No one remembered when this kiss ended.

Until Chi Yao spoke to her, pressing her down and asking in her ear, “Is it okay?”

The phrase “is it okay” carried an obvious meaning.

Lin Zhexia didn’t speak but proactively sat up, reaching out to take the familiar thin packet from his hand.

After opening it, her fleeting courage triumphed.

Chi Yao guided her to change positions, no longer pressing her down but switching places with her, reminding her to “come on top.” Then his hand, wearing the black hair tie, rested on her waist.

Her side was very sensitive, and she wanted to dodge, but there was no way to escape.

In the end, she could only weakly warn him: “...Don’t touch my waist.”

The next second, Chi Yao’s hand let go.

But the hand that let go grabbed her hand. Lazily, he said: “Alright, then you can touch mine.”

“...”

Lin Zhexia was almost fuming: “I don’t want to touch.”

“Who else would you touch if not me?” Chi Yao said, “...I originally trained it for you.”

Lin Zhexia was already on top, and by lowering her eyes, she could see the faint outline of his abs. His body was still lean, with prominent bones exuding youthful vigor. His abs were subtle, not exaggerated, but under his guidance, she could feel the hidden strength beneath.

Lin Zhexia dared not look anymore, averting her eyes to the silver earring on Chi Yao’s ear. The metallic gleam brought a dizzying sensation.

During his movements, Chi Yao suddenly paused for a few seconds: “Say it again.”

Lin Zhexia’s voice was somewhat broken, caught between pleasure and frustration. She pitifully asked: “Say... say what?”

“Say you’ve liked me for a long time.”

Perhaps it was the position.

In the past, due to shyness, she had chosen to bury herself in the blankets like an ostrich.

So she had never once felt that all the marks on the person beneath her belonged to her.

The black hair tie on his wrist, the earring, even his body.

These were all present because of her existence over the long years.

Lin Zhexia struggled to control her increasingly fragmented voice and tried to articulate clearly: “I’ve... liked you for a long time.”