#185: Change (2)

She was startled. She hadn’t expected to suddenly encounter the Crown Prince at her own home, and naturally felt a bit surprised. The Crown Prince, upon noticing that the person hiding behind the rockery was her, also seemed momentarily taken aback. However, he soon gave her a faint smile. Before she could react, he had already entered her brother’s courtyard with Xuchuan.

At that moment, Gu Jingqi had two thoughts.

First, Master Qi Ao was truly handsome.

Second, members of the imperial family rarely visited the residences of their subjects, let alone when the Crown Prince was wearing a cloak, looking mysterious and clearly trying to avoid being recognized… Could it be that he and her brother shared some kind of secret?

Gu Jingqi couldn’t quite figure it out, but she had always been carefree and didn’t think she had stumbled upon something significant. Since she couldn’t make sense of it, she decided not to dwell on it and instead thought again of her beloved sister-in-law.

Sister-in-law… please don’t fall ill anymore.

Get well soon.

Unlike the clear weather below the mountain, the mountain was often shrouded in mist. Due to the heavy humidity, the mist resembled rain, creating an unpredictable atmosphere.

When Shen Xiling woke up, she found herself lying on Qi Ying’s bed. Outside the window, everything appeared dim, as if it were a rainy day.

She was alone in the room; he wasn’t there.

Shen Xiling felt somewhat dazed but still remembered falling asleep outside the door last night. Yet now she was inside the room, so it seemed that after she fell asleep, he had softened and carried her in.

But where was he?

Where had he gone?

Just like when she was a child, whenever she couldn’t see him, she would feel anxious and immediately look for him. Especially now, she didn’t bother tidying herself up but hurriedly got out of bed and rushed out the door to find him.

She quickly pushed open the door and ran into the courtyard. As expected, the sky in the mountains was overcast, though it hadn’t started raining yet. The thick mist created the illusion of a light drizzle. She saw him standing under the loquat tree, surrounded by fog, his figure appearing distant and indistinct.

Shen Xiling’s heart began to race with panic. Her heartbeat quickened, and she immediately ran toward him, wrapping her arms tightly around him from behind.

The familiar scent of sweet flag enveloped her. She pressed her cheek against his back and called out to him, “Master…”

As if trying to hold onto him.

His clothes were damp and cold, likely from standing in the mist for too long. He didn’t respond to her call, nor did he pull away her hands, allowing Shen Xiling to stay close to him for a while.

Only this way could she feel slightly reassured.

She reveled in this intimacy, but she was even more concerned about his health. After a short while, she loosened her grip and moved to face him. Seeing that his complexion wasn’t as pale as it had been the previous night, she felt somewhat relieved and asked, “Master, are you feeling better? Are you still uncomfortable?”

He looked down at her. In the mist, his beautiful phoenix-like eyes were calm, making it difficult to discern his emotions. He didn’t directly answer her question but simply said, “Let’s have breakfast first.”

With that, he turned and walked back into the house.

He didn’t mention what had happened the previous day, nor did he repeat his demand for her to leave. Naturally, this made Shen Xiling feel relieved, but she sensed a subtle shift in his demeanor, which left her feeling uneasy.

She knew he wasn’t someone easily persuaded. Once he made a decision, it was almost impossible for others to change his mind—just like during that year’s spring examinations. Even though everyone had told him he was wrong, and his father had resorted to family discipline, he hadn’t budged.

That was the kind of person he was.

Shen Xiling, of course, understood his temperament, but when it came to stubbornness, she believed she might not necessarily lose to him. If he insisted, she would cry, beg, or use old tricks to soften his heart—she would never compromise.

Thinking this through, Shen Xiling’s mind settled. Seeing that breakfast wasn’t yet ready, she stepped into the room to inform Qi Ying, then went to the stove to help.

The makeshift confinement quarters on the desolate mountain were naturally rudimentary, lacking a proper kitchen. There was only an open-air stove in the backyard. When Shen Xiling arrived, Qingzhu was busy there.

Although he had served Qi Ying since childhood, his tasks mainly involved brewing tea and pouring water. He was completely inexperienced in cooking. Suddenly tasked with preparing a meal, he was flustered and clumsy. Shen Xiling took one look and saw that he had chopped the vegetables unevenly, making a mess. Unable to bear it, she took over for him.

Qingzhu looked somewhat awkward. Seeing her come to help, he felt a bit uneasy. First, he thanked her, then hesitantly asked, “You… aren’t leaving yet?”

Shen Xiling didn’t answer but instead asked, “Where’s Brother Bai? Where did he go?”

At this question, Qingzhu’s expression turned slightly grim, as if there was some hidden matter behind it that he wasn’t sure whether he should share with Shen Xiling. For the moment, he chose to remain silent.

In this way, they had mutually avoided answering each other’s questions, which seemed quite fair.

Shen Xiling smiled faintly and stopped conversing with Qingzhu. Instead, she glanced at the contents of the basket—fresh vegetables, eggs, rice, and flour.

She asked, “Where did these ingredients come from?”

This time, Qingzhu could finally answer. He said, “The imperial guards stationed at the foot of the mountain send them up once a day.”

Shen Xiling acknowledged his response with a soft hum and followed up with another question: “Is it always the same person delivering them?”

“Yes,” Qingzhu replied, “a young man.”

Shen Xiling nodded, then turned to Qingzhu with a faint smile and said, “Go keep Master Qi company. I can handle things here by myself.”

Qingzhu knew full well that he was no expert in cooking and would only get in the way if he stayed. After exchanging a few polite words with Shen Xiling, he stepped aside and handed over the stove to her. He lingered around for a moment, observing that Shen Xiling clearly didn’t need his assistance, then pursed his lips and awkwardly left.

The ingredients delivered by the Wei soldiers were quite abundant. It seemed they remembered that Qi Ying hailed from an aristocratic family in Jiangzuo and mistakenly assumed he had specific dietary preferences. In truth, they were wrong. His daily meals had always been extremely simple and light, not much different from those of ordinary households.

After some thought, Shen Xiling decided to prepare a simple white porridge for him, along with stir-fried fragrant toona sinensis, minced meat steamed with winter melon, and finally… a steamed egg custard.

There was no milk available in the kitchen, so her method differed slightly from the past. She added silken tofu and peeled two shrimp into the mixture, unsure if he would like it.

While steaming the egg custard, she couldn’t help but recall past memories, such as the first time she secretly prepared egg custard for him when she was a child. It was during the Lantern Festival, and she had just arrived at Fenghe Garden. Technically, she wasn’t allowed in the kitchen, let alone cook for him. She had begged Sister Zijun for permission to add a dish to his table.

He likely enjoyed her cooking, as he always enthusiastically supported her whenever she cooked. If she hadn’t made egg custard for a long time, he would subtly remind her. Each time he did so, Shen Xiling would secretly chuckle, feeling as though they were playing a silent game.

Those days truly embodied peaceful and contented times.

She smiled faintly and recalled the time before she fell ill, when he hadn’t gone to play polo but had instead met her through the screen on the second floor of Yi Lou. Seeing that she hadn’t eaten much, he later had Gu Juhán bring her food—egg custard, again.

Was she being overly sentimental? Could a mere bowl of egg custard really make her so melancholic?

But… she truly thought of him no matter what she did.

Once breakfast was ready, Qingzhu came to help carry the dishes to the table. Shen Xiling initially wanted him to join them, but he excused himself and left, leaving only her and Qi Ying in the room.

The makeshift confinement quarters were naturally rudimentary, and the room was narrow and cramped. Besides the bed, there was only a tall desk stacked with miscellaneous books, without even a chair.

Qingzhu, however, was resourceful. He brought in a short table and cushions from the courtyard, at least creating a makeshift dining area.

Shen Xiling sat across from Qi Ying and felt somewhat restrained. She glanced at his complexion, picked up a ladle to serve him porridge, and then handed the bowl to him.

He reached out to take it, thanking her. Shen Xiling wanted to tell him there was no need to be so polite, but the atmosphere at the moment somehow felt inappropriate for such words. Instead, she forced a faint smile and gestured toward the small dishes, saying, “Master, please try them. See if my skills have become rusty?”

Truthfully, she had become somewhat rusty.

Since her marriage to the north, she had been busy adapting to unfamiliar people and affairs while secretly managing businesses with Master Gong. Naturally, she had little time to spare. Moreover, she had been heartbroken back then, with no interest in cooking and no one she wanted to cook for. The few times she had cooked were for Gu Juhán’s safe return from the battlefield.

Today, returning to cooking made her feel slightly out of practice. She was uncertain about how much salt to use, and her hands trembled a bit as she worked. Now, she felt genuinely anxious.

She watched as he switched spoons and scooped up a spoonful of egg custard first. She both worried that the altered taste might displease him and couldn’t help but feel a faint joy, thinking: He still likes the egg custard I make, just like before.

She observed his reaction and after a while, asked, “How is it?”

“Very good,” he looked at her, giving a faint smile. After a pause, he added, “It’s just a bit different from before.”

These words were ordinary, merely stating a fact. However, in that context, the sentence carried a strong double meaning: he wasn’t just talking about the egg custard but also implying that their relationship had changed from what it once was.

Shen Xiling felt a sharp pang in her heart, as if someone had stepped on a sore spot. She hurriedly explained, “Today, there was no milk in the kitchen. If there had been, the taste would have been exactly the same as before, without any difference. I…”

She was deliberately avoiding the deeper meaning of his words, focusing only on the surface-level interpretation.

“Wenwen,” Qi Ying gently interrupted her, “let’s eat.”

That single word, “Wenwen,” effectively silenced Shen Xiling. She found herself uncertain of his intentions: if he believed they could no longer return to the past, why did he call her by the same name he used back then? And if he still cherished those memories, why had his earlier words carried hidden meanings?

She didn’t understand. But deep down, she stubbornly believed he hadn’t outright rejected the past—or perhaps it wasn’t belief; she was simply avoiding the possibility of the alternative.

Silently, she lowered her eyes and picked up her chopsticks, unintentionally gripping them tightly.

He tasted the stir-fried fragrant toona sinensis she had prepared, complimenting its flavor. Then, as if making casual conversation, he remarked, “Spring comes later in the north, so fresh toona sinensis is rare. It’s impressive that we can still enjoy it in April.”

Shen Xiling hadn’t expected him to suddenly bring this up and was momentarily stunned. Regaining her composure, she responded, “Yes, the toona sinensis here ripens later than in Jiangzuo, but it remains tender and edible until April or May.”

Qi Ying hummed in acknowledgment, then after a moment of thought, asked, “Do you like toona sinensis? I can’t quite remember.”

Shen Xiling was taken aback once more, then shook her head and replied, “No, I don’t particularly like it.”

She wasn’t fond of toona sinensis, finding its flavor too strong. She could eat it, but she didn’t particularly enjoy it.

Qi Ying nodded and continued, “I remember you didn’t like it much either. That day at Yi Lou, when I saw it on your table, I was somewhat surprised.”

These words genuinely caught Shen Xiling off guard—she hadn’t expected him to voluntarily mention the visit to Yi Lou.

That day, he had come to see her… surely because he missed her.

Shen Xiling’s heart warmed, and the tension she had been feeling slowly eased. She smiled at him, her eyes glistening like dewdrops, just as they had when she was a child, and replied, “It was General Gu who liked it. That day, I ordered it for him.”

Qi Ying nodded, unsurprised, then continued the conversation about Gu Juhán.

He asked, “Has he treated you well all these years?”