Chapter 85: Slightly Drunk (4)

Shen Xiling was deeply conflicted.

Over the past three years, she simultaneously didn’t want to grow up—because that might mean leaving him—but on the other hand, she also yearned to grow older so he would stop treating her like a child. She oscillated back and forth between these contradictory desires, growing weary from the constant emotional tug-of-war.

It was truly exhausting.

Shen Xiling lowered her head silently, a whirlwind of complex emotions surging within her. When she looked up at him again, her expression was more poignant than ever.

It was a look Qi Ying knew well—a hesitant gaze, as if she wanted to say something but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

With that same gaze, she glanced once more at his knee beside her—the one she had been fantasizing about all night. Pushed by the swell of emotion, she couldn’t resist any longer. She leaned gently against it, nestling close and murmuring softly, “… Alright, then you decide.”

That small act of leaning into him was an almost audacious move for her—a subtle yet unmistakable display of intimacy.

Her affection for him was both overt and covert. The action of leaning against him was undeniably clear, while the single word “you” she used carried a hidden implication.

For three years, she had addressed him formally as “Master,” maintaining a respectful distance. Now, using the informal “you” was a deliberate shift, laced with a hint of compromise and faint reproach. Though seemingly ordinary, this change in address subtly tested the boundaries of their relationship—a boundary they had long adhered to.

It was an invisible line, and she had just crossed it by an inch.

In that moment, her heart tightened into a knot.

The thrill of closeness was intense and unrelenting, followed swiftly by an equally overwhelming wave of nervousness that only amplified her racing heartbeat.

She didn’t know how he would react. Would he push her away? Then what? Would he scold her? Or would he simply turn cold and distant without saying a word?

Her slender fingers clenched imperceptibly.

In reality, Qi Ying’s thoughts at that moment were far less complicated than Shen Xiling imagined. To be honest, his mind was blank.

Her sudden overstepping left him uncertain, his thoughts clouded like the steam rising when she lifted the lid of the small steamer earlier. Usually composed, he found himself unsure of how to respond.

Qi Ying was fully aware that such behavior was inappropriate given their current situation. The girl had grown up; she would soon undergo her coming-of-age ceremony and was no longer a child. In the past, he might have hugged her or pinched her cheeks playfully, but after realizing her feelings for him three years ago, he had refrained even from casual touches.

Yet here she was, leaning against his leg.

He should have pushed her away—or at least stood up discreetly to create some distance. But the sight of her nestled so vulnerably and affectionately stirred the strange sensations that had risen in him multiple times that night. He hesitated, his mind blank, unsure of what to do.

And so, they both fell silent.

It was hard to say whose silence was more unbearable, but it was Shen Xiling who broke first.

This wasn’t surprising. After all, she was younger and hadn’t endured the countless heart-wrenching struggles that Qi Ying had faced. Naturally, she couldn’t bear it as long as he could. Unable to withstand the tension, she felt compelled to act—to do something to dispel the unease and anxiety gnawing at her.

At that moment, she had two choices: either sit up straight and pretend nothing had happened, acting as though everything was normal. If she didn’t mention it, he certainly wouldn’t bring it up, and the matter would be dropped. Or, she could throw caution to the wind and take the risk, betting on how far they could go.

By nature, she was cautious and reserved, so logically, she shouldn’t have chosen the latter. However, after three years of managing her business, she had grown bolder. Steeling herself, she decided that retreat was not an option. Taking another step forward, she shifted her position entirely, turning toward him and resting both arms on his knee. Her beautiful face was half-buried in the crook of her elbow.

She rested against his knee.

Not only did she not shy away from looking at him, but her eyes carried a trace of innate coquetry as she said, “Master… I’d like to eat more crab.”

A gentle night breeze swept through, sending ripples across the pond.

For a fleeting moment, Qi Ying was lost in thought.

He had always known the girl was beautiful, no matter her expression. But when she was younger, she was merely a pretty child. She had always been proper and restrained, even in her playful moments. Never before had she looked at him with such a subtly seductive gaze.

Lord Qi had seen countless women in his life. The political arena was rife with power and allure, and he had encountered all sorts of women, each exuding charm. Yet, not once had he felt even the slightest tremor in his resolve. But now, as she rested against his knee, gazing at him with that expression, he…

…felt his resolve waver.

In the end, he didn’t push her away, attributing his lapse to the slight intoxication of the night. Silently, he picked up the other crab and replied, “…Alright.”

He acquiesced.

Shen Xiling’s heart instantly relaxed. Only when she came to her senses did she realize her palms were damp with sweat.

She had expected him to distance himself, but he hadn’t. Overjoyed, she didn’t dwell on whether his acquiescence meant anything. She simply reveled in this rare moment of closeness, watching him peel the crab for her, listening to the sound of his movements, and gazing intently at his elegant fingers as they worked.

She felt incredibly comfortable resting on his knee.

Qi Ying noticed her contentment and thought perhaps she had spent so many years raising Xuétuán that she had become increasingly cat-like herself—more clingy and coquettish than the feline. Perhaps it was the wine clouding his judgment, but he too acted out of character, finding the girl resting on his knee impossibly endearing. After cracking open a crab leg, instead of handing it to her, he brought it directly to her lips.

In that moment, under the influence of the wine, both of them were slightly dazed.

Fifteen days of separation—it wasn’t just Shen Xiling who had missed him. Qi Ying… had missed her too. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have responded when Shui Pei came to Huaijin Courtyard that night. Now, with the girl resting on his knee, his fingers close to her, he watched as she ate the crab leg he fed her, the tingling sensation in his heart growing stronger.

This was very, very wrong.

Extremely wrong.

But he didn’t want it to end—not just yet.

Later, he finished peeling the entire crab for her. Initially, she had bought the crabs to let him taste them, but in the end, he hardly touched them. She ate almost all of them.

But by then, neither of them cared about the crabs anymore. Their focus was solely on each other.

They spoke intermittently. Though it had only been fifteen days since they last saw each other, it felt as though there were countless things to share.

Shen Xiling recounted her journey in detail, describing the estates she had purchased, the mountains, rivers, and landscapes she had seen along the way, and the shopkeepers and workers she had interacted with. Normally not a talkative person, she seemed to have endless words to say in his presence.

Qi Ying listened quietly, observing how she would sit up slightly when she spoke excitedly and rest against his knee when she grew tired. His eyes always carried a faint smile, lingering softly around her. Whenever she asked for his opinion, he responded in his cool, low voice, always ensuring she received an answer.

He was so gentle and dependable.

The night was so enchanting that Shen Xiling didn’t want to part from him. Despite having just returned from traveling, exhausted from the journey, she felt no fatigue. She simply wanted to keep talking to him—or even if they didn’t speak, she was content to rest quietly on his knee.

But she worried he might be tired, knowing he must have expended much energy during tonight’s social engagements and had to attend court early the next morning. He needed to rest.

Suppressing her reluctance to leave him, she looked up and asked, “Master, are you tired? You have to attend court tomorrow…”

Though she spoke these words, the tender, lingering affection in her eyes betrayed her reluctance. Hearing her question, he replied, “It’s fine. Let me listen to you a little longer.”

Shen Xiling tilted her head to look at him, their gazes meeting. In that instant, a strange and profound feeling arose in both their hearts. They understood some things, yet others remained unclear.

Indescribable.

Shen Xiling felt pure joy and continued speaking to him in fits and starts, occasionally sipping the ginger tea he offered. Eventually, though exhausted from talking, she still didn’t want to part. Pretending to sleep, she rested on his knee.

At first, she didn’t intend to fall asleep—she just wanted to linger by his side for the night. But believing she was tired, he began gently patting her shoulder. As he patted, she gradually succumbed to drowsiness and drifted off to sleep.

She didn’t see the complexity in his gaze as she slept.

The autumn night was cool, yet the young girl had fallen asleep on his knee.

She seemed utterly defenseless with him, despite her naturally cautious and guarded nature. Around him, she was always like this—like Xuétuán, who would claw at strangers but willingly expose its soft belly to Shen Xiling.

Such affection wasn’t built overnight. Over the past three years—more than a thousand days and nights—they had accumulated this bond. It wasn’t just her feelings for him; he, too, had grown attached.

Three years ago, he had tried to sever the budding thread of her feelings for him, but her hesitant gaze had softened his resolve, causing him to miss the opportunity. Some opportunities, once missed, never return. After that, he found it increasingly difficult to refuse her.

He even began to feel a bit lost. Was it because he couldn’t bear to hurt her—or because it aligned with his own desires?

Perhaps his mother was right, and even his siblings were correct. He indeed harbored… some improper thoughts about her.

A faint, resigned smile flickered in his eyes, quickly replaced by a shadow of concern. Glancing at her again, his brow furrowed slightly, as if recalling countless complications.

He thought of her origins, his circumstances, and his family.

He was confused and wavering.

The autumn night was exceptionally quiet, and Wang Garden felt like a secluded corner untouched by worldly concerns. Here, they could enjoy a brief moment of freedom. For a short while, he could set aside the weight on his shoulders and quietly cherish the time spent with the young girl.

He knew he shouldn’t be so reckless, that he should carefully consider many things. He shouldn’t have allowed her to cross that invisible boundary earlier.

But… let tonight be as it is.

Just for tonight.

Author’s Note: To be honest, it’s going to be very difficult to wrap this up without marriage.

(Next chapter, we’ll advance the plot a bit!)