TIL - 28

After the frenzy, Wen Huo’s legs were too weak to stand straight. Chen Cheng carried her to take a shower.

Wen Huo suddenly didn’t want to sleep alone. As Chen Cheng carried her to bed and was about to leave, she tugged at his clothes.

Chen Cheng turned to look at her.

Wen Huo said, “Teacher Chen, can you please not leave?”

Chen Cheng didn’t answer and left.

Wen Huo watched him walk out the door, and to her surprise, felt a sense of relief. She didn’t know why she had said that, but it was truly good that Chen Cheng didn’t stay. If he had, they wouldn’t have been able to continue their relationship.

She lay on the bed, wrapping her arms around herself in a self-protective posture.

She didn’t know how long her relationship with Chen Cheng would last. She really wanted him to fall in love with her. As long as he loved her, he might proactively divorce Han Bailu. Then, she would provide some evidence of Chen Cheng’s infidelity, Han Bailu would get her money, and she would get hers. Then, she’d reveal to Chen Cheng that she didn’t actually love him, only desired him. Chen Cheng would tell her to get lost, and everything would fall into place...

But when would Chen Cheng fall in love with her?

Chen Cheng seemed to have been paying her a little more attention lately, but she knew it was fleeting, just like how he hadn’t even hesitated before leaving just now.

If a beloved toy suddenly shows signs of rebellion, even she would pay more attention to it, let alone the cunning Chen Cheng. It was ironic that Wen Huo, knowing she was just a toy, had unthinkingly asked him to stay.

Many unthinking actions are actually subconscious desires.

Wen Huo didn’t want to admit that she subconsciously had some expectations of Chen Cheng, because whether it was due to his tempting physique or his recent illusory care, both were irresistible to a normal person. Irresistible meant temptation, but most temptations are wrong.

What kind of temptation is wrong?

For example, she loved deriving formulas, always making strange discoveries, and was willing to go without food and sleep to prove her findings, all for the sake of “correctness.” She wanted her discoveries to be meaningful and correct. This kind of temptation was correct.

Her relationship with Chen Cheng was orchestrated from the start, and of course, the development of events under such an arrangement was uncontrollable. But if something was wrong from the beginning, could it ever become right? Then all those intoxicating behaviors and atmospheres between her and Chen Cheng were incorrect temptations.

Clear-headed as she was, she felt a tendency towards irrationality for the first time, which made her instantly lose her sense of security. She had to hug herself, attempting to gain some courage.

She pulled up the covers and closed her eyes.

About five minutes later, the door opened from the outside. She opened her eyes.

Chen Cheng walked to her bedside and lay down.

Wen Huo propped herself up, looking at him: “Teacher Chen?”

Chen Cheng lay flat on the bed, eyes closed: “Sleep.”

“You’re going to sleep here?”

“Didn’t you want me to stay with you?”

Wen Huo was speechless. She suddenly couldn’t describe her feelings. It wasn’t happiness, certainly not郁闷 (depression/frustration). It was like surprise, but she wasn’t like this when surprised.

She couldn’t figure it out; she couldn’t understand herself for the first time.

She lay back, looking at the ceiling lamp, and said, “Teacher Chen, if you keep this up, I’m really going to suspect you’ve fallen for me.”

Chen Cheng simply said, “Hmm.”

Wen Huo turned her head: “Hmm?”

Chen Cheng said, “You’ve been jealous these past two days.”

Wen Huo wouldn’t admit it: “I wasn’t jealous. Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Mm, not jealous, just sour.”

“Even if it was sour, it has nothing to do with you. You don’t need to be like this.”

Chen Cheng rolled over to face her: “I’m coaxing you.”

Wen Huo felt even stranger, as if something invisible had covered her mouth, making her unable to utter a word. She turned over, her back to him; she had to suppress her heartbeat.

Sometimes Chen Cheng was straightforward, appearing dull, as if he knew nothing about interacting with women. But then, other times, what he said would make her mind go blank, completely unsure of what to do next.

These words kept replaying in Wen Huo’s mind. She couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning.

Chen Cheng extended his arm.

Wen Huo glanced at it without turning back and said, “What are you doing?”

“For you to rest your head on.”

“No need.”

Chen Cheng retracted his arm.

Wen Huo turned around: “You’re taking it back already?”

“Didn’t you say you didn’t need it?”

Wen Huo steeled herself, rolled into his arms, grabbed his arm, and rested her head on it: “When a woman says no, she means yes.”

Chen Cheng wrapped his arm around her waist: “Then I misunderstood you. So, when you said yes before, you meant no.”

Wen Huo bit his chest, which was taut and firm, impossible to bite. She changed to biting his finger, leaving a row of teeth marks.

Chen Cheng raised his hand, looking at her teeth marks: “Are you a dog?”

Wen Huo rubbed against his embrace. She truly loved his chest; it felt so secure and had a scent she felt lucky to smell, like in a church—forbidden, tense, exciting...

Chen Cheng was almost pushed off the bed by her: “Don’t push me.”

Wen Huo insisted on pushing, and asked him in a husky voice, “Teacher Chen, do you like me?”

Chen Cheng didn’t like it. “Is that important?”

Wen Huo shook her head: “Not important, but if you say you like me, I’ll be happy.”

Chen Cheng said, “I don’t dislike you.”

Wen Huo asked again: “Then how far can you go for me? Will you divorce?”

Chen Cheng fell silent.

Wen Huo felt she was too eager. “It’s okay. As long as I can have you, it’s fine if it’s in the shadows. Some women are like that; they don’t want a title, they just want the person. Compared to Han Bailu, who can’t have you, I’m much better off.”

Chen Cheng stroked her hair: “You’re faking it pretty well.”

Wen Huo propped herself up on his chest, straddling him, ignoring his comment. She tried to appear very sincere and apologetic: “Teacher Chen, I lied to you before.”

Chen Cheng put his hands behind his head: “Did you?”

Wen Huo said, “I seduced you not because you could help me, nor out of vanity, nor because I coveted your money. I just like you. I’ve never seen a teacher so handsome, with such a good body. I was dying of desire. At night, I’ve been having wet dreams about sleeping with you.”

Chen Cheng looked at her: “How can I believe you?”

Wen Huo leaned down and kissed his lips: “I’ve been throwing myself at you for so long, can’t you tell? I’m a physics student, very traditional. For the first time in my life, I shamelessly gave myself to you, my virginity to you, everything to you. I’ll die on you.”

Since she had already said she liked him, saying it a few more times, saying it more, didn’t matter. She would just follow this route from now on, showering him with sweet words every day, bombarding him. She didn’t believe it wouldn’t hit him.

Didn’t he just like to hear these things? He forced her to say them, so she would say them.

Chen Cheng suddenly smiled, a shallow, very alluring smile.

Wen Huo watched, her heart pounding faster. Chen Cheng was so damn captivating, damn it! Why hadn’t she noticed before?

Chen Cheng asked her, “Are you serious?”

Wen Huo nodded: “Absolutely.”

Chen Cheng’s hand moved from her waist to her buttocks, covering them: “Wen Huo.”

“Hmm.”

“Do you have anything else you’re hiding from me?”

Wen Huo’s feigned affection was suddenly paused. She thought her smooth acting had just been called out by him. For a few seconds, too many scenes of them together flashed through her mind. She was desperately searching for any possibility that Chen Cheng already knew about her collaboration with Han Bailu.

Chen Cheng saw her strong reaction, didn’t press further, and forcibly changed the subject: “Like your relationship with that mixed-race guy.”

Wen Huo breathed a sigh of relief and buried her face in his shoulder: “So what if he’s mixed-race? I only seduced you, Teacher Chen. Why? Are you not confident? So many people scream and climax just because you look up or speak, such ordinary actions. What do you have to be unconfident about?”

Chen Cheng said nothing more.

Wen Huo also remained silent.

But they both knew there was a thin sheet of paper between them. What exactly that paper separated—Wen Huo’s scheme, or Chen Cheng’s counter-strategy—they didn’t know, but it was there.

In their seemingly heartfelt, but in reality, not so, conversation that night, they realized there was a metaphorical screen between them, and neither of them tore it down.

This made one feel a little afraid.

Wen Huo and Chen Cheng’s eyes both held their respective secrets, but neither spoke, seemingly laying the groundwork for an eventual explosion.