62. Leave Me Alone

The slumped-down Chairman Park trembled, pressing both hands against the floor. He was kneeling and prostrate at Haerin’s feet, who stood before him, but he couldn’t get up at all.

His legs had lost all strength, and his vision swam. If he lifted his head, he felt like he would see his dead daughter-in-law’s face above him, so he couldn’t muster any strength in his hands.

It had already been several months of being tormented by nightmares. Chairman Park, who had been having so many dreams that he would even experience sleep paralysis during daytime naps, suddenly convulsed, foaming at the mouth as if he were suffocating.

Haerin’s razor-sharp gaze felt just like his daughter-in-law’s eyes in his dreams, making his mind go blank.

The two pupils that had glared at him left afterimages, burning crimson in the empty air.

“Ya... the medicine, Secretary... Seok.”

As Chairman Park, groaning, mumbled for his tranquilizers, Secretary Seok, who had been bending down to support him, quickly slipped a small pill into Chairman Park’s mouth. Then, supporting Chairman Park as he rose, Secretary Seok glanced around.

While the quick-witted bodyguards escorted Chairman Park rapidly out of the funeral hall, Haerin stood in her place, watching with a chilling gaze.

The lingering excitement made her heart pound.

“...Haerin-ah.”

Haerin, who had been staring in the direction Chairman Park had disappeared for a long time, turned her gaze away and took a step forward. Soohyun, who had been waiting, called out to her.

Her steps halted, but Haerin didn’t turn around. From behind her back, Soohyun asked,

“You... are you pregnant?”

At Soohyun’s words, Haerin silently stared straight ahead. Her parents, standing in front of her, were also looking at Haerin with faces awaiting an answer.

“What’s it to you?”

Haerin’s voice was icy as she replied.

“What’s it to me...?”

“Since Chairman Park confirmed the pregnancy, should I just get rid of the baby now?”

“Haerin-ah.”

When Haerin reacted coldly, Soohyun, unable to bear it any longer, stepped closer to her. But at Soohyun’s touch, goosebumps rose all over Haerin’s body. She flinched and quickly backed away.

Lifting her gaze, a familiar face came into view.

No, it wasn’t familiar.

The Soohyun standing before her was definitely someone she knew, yet he felt alien.

It wasn’t just that she knew Soohyun; she knew him very well, yet he felt as awkward as a stranger. It was as if she could see Chairman Park in Soohyun’s face.

“Haerin-ah. Let’s talk.”

Undeterred by Haerin’s reaction, he reached out his hand again, but Haerin coldly brushed away Soohyun’s hand that came to rest on her shoulder.

“I have nothing to say, so please go back.”

At her sharp reply, Soohyun’s face fell heavily.

“You need help right now. I’ll help you. Whatever it is.”

“I don’t need it.”

“Haerin-ah, I know it’s hard for you. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Then leave. Right now.”

Perhaps sensing that Haerin’s reaction was unusual, Soohyun lowered his voice and asked calmly,

“Instead of that, tell me what I can do to help.”

“I just want you to disappear from my sight.”

Haerin, having stopped breathing at the end of her sentence, spat out the words she had been holding back, as if exhaling a held breath.

“I’m sick of you all. I’m sick of Taesung. Please, just leave me alone!”

Her voice rose. Anger welled up inside her.

“I know. I understand.”

Haerin pushed away the arms that reached to embrace her, that familiar embrace, without a trace of lingering affection.

“You wanted my sibling to die, didn’t you, Sunbae? Why should I have to look at someone who said such things? You got what you wanted, so are you happy now? All that’s left is for me to leave you, just as you wished.”

Haerin, uncharacteristically agitated, pushed away the approaching Soohyun and struck his chest with her fist.

“Haerin-ah. Haerin-ah. Just calm down for a moment. Are you really pregnant?”

At Soohyun’s words, trying to confirm her pregnancy, the fist that had been hitting his chest gained even more force. Still, Soohyun didn’t budge. As always, her resistance posed no threat to him.

“Whether I’m pregnant or not, what does it matter to you? Just leave me alone. I am no longer your possession. I don’t belong to anyone anymore!”

Haerin screamed hysterically, as if in a fit of madness.

Whatever it was that she had been holding inside, it was an unbearable day. An uncontrollable rage surged within her. Her voice grew louder, and the heartbeat she had barely managed to suppress began to pound again.

“Haerin-ah. Haerin-ah.”

Soohyun tried to calm the overly agitated Haerin by grabbing both of her arms, but that only provoked her further.

“Let go! Let go of me! Aaaagh!”

Crack, Haerin’s body suddenly twisted and then went limp. Pain shot up from her lower abdomen. The ceiling spun, and her knees buckled.

In Haerin’s fading vision, as she slid down into Soohyun’s arms, she saw her parents rushing towards her. Within her closing sight, she also saw Soohyun’s face looking down at her.

I hate you, Sunbae. I hate you so much I don’t want to see you anymore, not anymore.

It’s all over now.

Without any lingering regrets, Haerin closed her eyes.

________________________________________

She seemed to have dreamt. She couldn’t sleep deeply and kept tossing and turning.

The image of her sibling lying in the sickbed flickered in her mind, and when the final image of her sibling covered in a white cloth came to mind, Haerin curled up like a shrimp and sobbed.

How much time had passed?

Haerin opened her eyes, feeling a terrible hunger. Focusing her blurry vision, she saw the clock hanging on the wall.

It was 2 AM.

She spent several hours in a state that was neither asleep nor awake. A pounding headache accompanied her weary body. However, a hunger even greater than the headache compelled her to move. Following her instincts, Haerin left the room mindlessly.

“Haerin-ah.”

Entering the bereaved’s room, Haerin’s father, who had been guarding the memorial portrait, stood up abruptly and approached her.

“Honey, Haerin’s awake.”

“Haerin-ah, come here. Would you like something to eat?”

Perhaps because it was dawn and the first day, the bereaved’s room was quiet. Haerin obediently followed her mother to the dining area. More than anything, she was so hungry she couldn’t think straight.

After waiting for a short while, a steaming bowl of rice soup was placed before Haerin.

With trembling hands, she scooped a spoonful of the soup into her mouth, and then her hands moved so quickly she couldn’t even remember what happened next.

It was strange to taste anything in this situation, but it tasted good.

Haerin devoured every last drop of the broth, and only after setting down the completely empty bowl did she regain some composure.

“Haerin-ah.”

As she sat staring blankly at the empty bowl, Haerin’s mother, who had been watching her, called out to her.

“Yeah.”

Haerin’s hand instinctively rose to her belly, trying to soothe her full stomach. Haerin’s mother looked at her daughter’s hand and said calmly,

“...Don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

Her voice was hoarse with worry. Haerin felt sorry, realizing that grief wasn’t hers alone and that she had been too consumed by her own emotions.

Haerin wasn’t the only one who had lost a family member today. Her mother and father were also grieving.

“Honestly, it’s not like we didn’t know this could happen to Jungin. But now, I’m afraid of losing my remaining daughter too.”

As Haerin remained silent with her head bowed, her mother quietly added one more thing.

“Do whatever you want. Mom is on your side, no matter what you do. My daughter right here in front of me is the most precious thing.”

Having witnessed the entire sequence of events, her mother must have heard about her daughter’s pregnancy and her intention to terminate it.

She must have also seen Chairman Park’s absurd outburst, claiming even his granddaughter-in-law’s unborn child as his own, and she must have known that Soohyun had told Haerin to get rid of the baby.

But she didn’t ask for details or try to understand. She simply looked at her daughter with affection, saying she was on her side.

Haerin quietly nodded.

“Rest for a bit, and when your stomach settles, come over. I’ll go ahead.”

Her mother briefly held Haerin’s hand on the table, then let go and stood up.

Do whatever you want.

Sitting alone, Haerin pondered the words her mother had left behind.

The first thing she had felt upon waking was the lingering anger and animosity.

The knot that Chairman Park had left behind still lingered within her. However, soon after, her hungry instincts overwhelmed her reason, and after filling her stomach, the first thought that came to mind was that she wasn’t alone anymore.

Haerin gently placed her hand on her belly.

She was pregnant, which meant she was carrying a life. And that life connected her to Taesung.

If she didn’t get rid of this being, she might have to continue her ties with Taesung forever.

‘Forever.’

It was the first time the word ‘forever’ felt so burdensome.

‘This child, is there a reason for me to keep it?’

Haerin slowly moved her hand over her belly, caressing the small life beneath.

‘I’m not confident.’

As she gently rubbed her belly, she suddenly realized that the morning sickness that had tormented her so much had completely disappeared.

It was a strange thing, considering she used to feel nauseous even from drinking water and spent all day clinging to the toilet.

“Ah.”

Haerin’s hand, which had been stroking her belly, stopped.

If she hadn’t been carrying a child, she probably wouldn’t have even felt hunger.

Instead of hunger, she would have cried and cried until she fainted, mourning her sibling’s final journey. Or perhaps she would have prayed for death amidst the chaos Chairman Park had created.

She probably would have cried and cried with the thought that it would be okay to die.

‘Could it be...?’

Was the faint life inside her trying to save its mother?

She felt sorry for the baby, lying still and lifeless somewhere beneath her palm. The way her body had reacted, not having morning sickness and feeling hungry, felt like it had come from the child.

It was a terribly strange feeling.

She had only known about maternal love through words, never daring to feel it herself. But at this moment, Haerin felt that she and the child were completely connected, both mentally and physically.

Tears fell, drop by drop, onto the back of her hand resting on her belly.

“Sob.”

The tears that had fallen one by one soon blurred her vision and flowed down endlessly.

You want me to live, don’t you?

I’m sorry. For thinking such a rash thought first. My nameless baby.

I’m sorry.

Tears wouldn’t stop at her belated realization.