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It wasn’t an easy thing to say.
It was also something he couldn’t easily say.
He had never said “thank you” with sincerity before.
There were countless occasions for him to make polite greetings. Words of gratitude were, for both the giver and the receiver, merely a formal exchange of social language.
The act of expressing emotion and properly conveying it to another person was a first for him.
He hadn’t known that a single word of thanks could contain so much emotion.
For not leaving his side, even though he had treated her so cruelly.
For trying to embrace his pain, even while hiding her own struggles.
For waiting for him to acknowledge her, even while forcing a smile.
He was just sorry and grateful for everything.
But he didn’t know what had happened. Tears welled up in Haein’s eyes as she looked at him. Then they swelled, and then they flowed down her cheeks.
“...I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I’m sorry. When Sunbae said that, I... suddenly became overwhelmed with emotion.”
“It was something I really wanted to say, just once.”
“......Sob.”
Haein covered her face with both hands and her shoulders trembled.
Again, she cried without making a sound.
Why did that sight hurt his heart so much? It felt like his heart was literally tearing apart. Soohyun felt like he was always the one who hurt Haein and made her cry.
“Haein-ah. I’m sorry. And thank you.”
“......I think... I had been waiting for those words from Sunbae.”
Her tearful reply reproached the Jung Soohyun of the past. Soohyun felt petty even to make excuses, so he silently approached her. And he held her trembling shoulders, pulling her into a quiet embrace.
“But why are you crying......”
“I don’t know. Hearing those words, suddenly the tears just... sob.”
“You’ve been through a lot.”
The situation wasn’t over. Perhaps the things Haein would face in the future would be incomparably more difficult than anything she had experienced so far.
Still, he hoped that this one phrase, “You’ve been through a lot,” could fill her empty and lonely heart even a little.
‘A warm word can sometimes fill your heart much more than an expensive gift.’
Soohyun stroked Haein’s back, recalling the words she had said once.
Perhaps the word “thank you,” which had no monetary value, had comforted her heart more than the expensive necklace he had given her.
“Don’t cry.”
Soohyun made Haein lift her head and look at him.
“No. You can cry. You’re still beautiful even when you cry.”
“Suddenly... a little bit of sadness welled up.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you for saying thank you.”
Haein, who had been clutching Soohyun’s dress shirt with both hands, shook her head and then smiled again.
“Haha, I’m probably the only one who cries after receiving such a wonderful gift. Right? I’ll go wash up. I’ll set the table.”
Haein pushed Soohyun away, urging him on. Soohyun’s eyes, which somehow couldn’t leave, reached the cluttered kitchen. He could vividly picture her having sent the staff away and preparing the food alone.
“No. Let’s prepare together.”
“Yes?”
Soohyun lightly took and then released Haein’s hands that were pushing him, and then began to move the side dish bowls that were on the kitchen island to the dining table.
“It’s okay. Go wash up quickly.”
“Let’s do it together. It’ll be faster with two people.”
Ignoring Haein’s words, he walked past her, carrying the side dish bowls, and turned his back, whereupon Haein looked at him with strange eyes.
“Um, did something happen to you today?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because you’re suddenly acting so differently.”
“No. Come here.”
Haein seemed quite unaccustomed to Soohyun’s affectionate manner. Soohyun called Haein, pulled out a chair for her to sit on, and gestured.
“Sit down. I’ll do the rest.”
“I’m not really used to this.”
“It feels a bit awkward for me too.”
“Hmm.”
“I’m trying, so please accept it.”
Soohyun picked up the water glasses and the water bottle and sat down at the table. And he filled her glass first, which Haein usually did, and handed it to her.
The dinner menu was ordinary.
Haein didn’t seem to have a talent for cooking; in fact, she barely managed to make it edible, but Soohyun didn’t care. More than the taste, it was the fact that it was food she had made with care that mattered.
Occasionally, when he came home and saw Haein standing in the kitchen, faint memories of the days when his family was happy would come to mind.
For Soohyun, dinner with Haein was perhaps like a meal of memories.
“How’s your sibling? It seems like you’ve been going more often lately.”
“I don’t know. The cases of them reaching a critical state have increased.”
“Really? Should I say something to make them pay more attention?”
“No. Everyone is really doing their best without any flaws.”
Haein let out a deep sigh and poked at a nearby side dish with the chopsticks she was holding.
“......Actually, I’m quite anxious, wondering if the time has really come to let them go.”
Haein’s unfocused eyes wandered somewhere around her chopsticks. Her weak tone was close to resignation, but at the same time, there was also fear mixed in.
If Haein’s sibling were to leave their family like this.
‘The biggest reason for you to be here will disappear.’
As his thoughts reached that point, a question he couldn’t hold back came to mind without him even asking.
“Do you want your sibling to keep living?”
The ticking movement of the chopsticks stopped. Haein replied in a rather calm voice.
“Honestly, I don’t expect my sibling to suddenly recover and walk around miraculously.”
She let out a short sigh and smiled weakly.
“Just. I wish we could exchange even one word, just once. So that even when the time comes, I can keep it as a farewell.”
A gentle smile touched her sorrowful face. It was the kind of expression only someone whose resignation had become a part of their daily life could wear. A face of someone who had already transcended sadness and pain, quietly waiting for farewell.
‘What if.’
Suddenly, a hypothesis popped into Soohyun’s mind.
What if your sibling leaves you? And if the reason for you to be here disappears, you’ll leave without any regrets, won’t you?
This place. And me.
Instantly, the rice he was putting into his mouth felt like pebbles, rough and gritty. Just thinking about it left a bitter taste on his tongue.
In fact, the contract between Chairman Park and Haein had practically been nullified a long time ago. This was because his father, Taehoon, had stepped in to cover the treatment and medical expenses for his younger sibling, Jungin. Of course, if Chairman Park used that as an excuse to cause trouble and go berserk, it would create a troublesome situation.
For Haein, once her sibling died, there would be no reason for her to be tied to Chairman Park at all.
‘Isn’t that what I wanted?’
Soohyun suppressed the thoughts that were churning in his head with the answer he had found himself. Then, a thorough selfishness sprouted within him.
“I hope so. I hope they recover even a little.”
Could he then extend this precarious and happy time with her even a little longer? Even if it meant you standing on a thorny path, bleeding and smiling.
“......I want to thank Father in person. You said he’s the one taking care of the treatment drug.”
Haein, unaware of his complicated feelings, looked at Soohyun and smiled weakly.
“Later. He knows your feelings well.”
Soohyun’s gaze reached Haein and then returned to himself. He felt suffocated.
‘Ha. Isn’t there a way to deal with Chairman Park’s matter quickly?’
Soohyun’s brow furrowed deeply as he sought a solution. The issue surrounding the inheritance of Chairman Park’s shares was Soohyun’s life goal and a project he had painstakingly built over a very long time.
He knew better than anyone that it wasn’t something that could be easily moved or quickly resolved as he wished.
***
After clearing the dinner table and showering, there was still time left.
Soohyun wandered around the room somewhat awkwardly before going out to the living room. He met eyes with Haein, who had just finished washing the dishes and was taking off her apron.
“Do you need anything? Shall I get you some fruit?”
“No. Just.”
He wanted to be with her, and his body had moved on its own, bringing him here.
It was something he could say in one word, but somehow he couldn’t bring himself to say it. And looking back, they had hardly spent any time together outside of the bedroom.
“Don’t you have any work today? You always work in your study.”
“Yeah. Not today.”
He did have work, but he hadn’t brought it home.
Would Haein be surprised if she knew that he had spent the entire late afternoon choosing and preparing a gift for her today?
The necklace around Haein’s neck caught his eye. She looked beautiful wearing the gift he had given her.
“Um, then... could I ask you for one thing?”
Haein looked around cautiously and asked carefully as Soohyun stood still without turning around or saying anything in particular.
“What is it?”
“There was a movie I wanted to see. Would you watch it with me?”
“That’s your request?”
“Yes.”
It was a very strange request. Soohyun obediently sat down on the living room sofa as Haein suggested and watched her choose a movie.
“This was released on DVD a while ago, and I’ve been saving it because I didn’t want to watch it alone.”
Haein chattered excitedly and chose a movie on the TV screen, then paid for it. It was an ordinary romantic comedy movie that didn’t seem particularly special.
“Do you like movies like this?”
“Yes. Because they always have a happy ending.”
Haein, smiling brightly, sat close to Soohyun, rested her head on his shoulder, and linked her arm with his.
“Thank you.”
A small head bobbed beneath his shoulder, and she conveyed her thanks again.
“For what?”
“I wanted to try it once. Spending the evening together like an ordinary couple.”
“Yeah.”
“Thank you for listening, even though you must be busy.”
Soohyun didn’t particularly reply to Haein’s words.
What she wanted from Soohyun were perhaps very trivial things, things that no one would consider special – sharing a part of everyday life.
Spending the evening together, exchanging warm words, eating a meal together.
But at the same time, they were things that were not at all ordinary for Soohyun.
As the story continued, predictable even if one skipped parts, he suddenly turned his head and saw Haein blinking sleepily.
Then, by the time the movie ended and the credits rolled, she had fallen into a deep sleep.
Even after the rather long end credits finished and the screen turned black, Soohyun sat still.
He could hear Haein’s regular breathing beneath his shoulder.
It was a peaceful and unremarkable evening. Perhaps it was the time of family, the time of a couple, that Soohyun had forgotten for a while.
‘If this is what family is like, it might not be so bad.’
Something he had lost a long time ago and had forgotten what form it even took was gradually being revived through Haein. And at the same time, he felt uneasy.
He was afraid of being left alone after all this time disappeared.
‘I wish time would stop.’
Soohyun took Haein’s hand, which was resting on his lap, and held it tightly.