Chapter 144: Journey to the North (1)

On the sixth day of the first month of the first year of Jiahe, the Great Liang Dynasty dispatched Qi Jingchen, the Chief Minister, as the lead envoy and Fan Zhengyuan, the Minister of the Honglu Temple, as the deputy envoy on a diplomatic mission to negotiate peace with Northern Wei. The delegation was massive, comprising over a hundred members, and the emperor personally accompanied by hundreds of officials sent them off in grand style—an event of unparalleled splendor.

Shen Xiling disguised herself as a little maid and secretly hid inside the lead envoy’s carriage.

Such an exciting adventure made the young girl feel both thrilled and terrified. Before the lead envoy returned to the carriage, she sat restlessly, constantly fearing discovery. Every so often, she would ask Bai Song and Qingzhu, who were seated outside the carriage, if anyone was approaching. Qingzhu, annoyed by her repeated questions, grumbled through the carriage curtain, “What are you afraid of? Who would dare enter Master’s carriage? Even if they did, what’s wrong with seeing a maid inside?”

Though Shen Xiling understood this logic, she still felt uneasy, fearing the worst. It wasn’t until Qi Ying finished receiving the emperor’s instructions and returned to the carriage to prepare for their northern journey that she finally relaxed.

The timid appearance of the beautiful little maid, huddled in the corner of the carriage, was endearing—less like a cat and more like a little mouse, eliciting a smile from the lead envoy as he entered the carriage.

He pulled her into his arms and asked, “Are you scared?”

The little maid nodded vigorously while holding onto the lead envoy’s waist.

Qi Ying chuckled and took her hand, soothing her gently, “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

After several such gentle reassurances, his little maid finally calmed down.

Despite her apparent timidity and inexperience, this maid was actually quite wealthy, carrying ten thousand taels of silver on her person, which even surprised the lead envoy.

Though Qi Ying had always known that the young girl had a talent for business and had earned some money, he had never asked how much exactly. Now, seeing her casually bring out ten thousand taels, seemingly akin to a tycoon, he found himself momentarily speechless.

In fact, the lead envoy’s thoughts weren’t entirely accurate.

While it was true that Shen Xiling was very wealthy, it wasn’t easy for her to casually produce ten thousand taels. She had started consolidating her assets during Qi Ying’s northern campaign, combining it with charitable donations, which seemed reasonable and wouldn’t attract too much attention. Altogether, she managed to gather over ten thousand taels of silver. After some estimation, she figured that as long as they didn’t live extravagantly, this amount would be sufficient for their lifetime needs.

The little maid was quite proud of this. During the journey north, she occasionally took out the banknotes from her small purse to show off to the lead envoy, looking adorable as if seeking praise. The lead envoy felt both amused and helpless, unsure whether to tell her that he had already arranged everything for their future life and that her money might not be necessary. After some thought, he decided against it and let the girl continue to be happy and proud.

Speaking of wealth, there were those two enormous fortunes that Lord Shen had entrusted to him years ago, which he had yet to mention to Shen Xiling. He wasn’t a greedy man and had no intention of using that money. However, since he was leaving the court, entrusting it to someone else would be inappropriate. It was safer for them to take it along. He decided to discuss this matter with the girl after they settled down.

The journey from Jiankang to Shangjing would take nearly a month. They departed in the first month and were expected to arrive in the second month of spring.

Although the envoy’s carriage was spacious and comfortable, the journey was still arduous due to the constant bumps. After a few days, Shen Xiling began to feel soreness in her back and discomfort.

To think that she had been pampered by Qi Ying these past few years and wasn’t the type to endure hardship. Her childhood had been marked by poverty, but she hadn’t found it particularly difficult then. Now, however, she couldn’t tolerate even slight travel discomfort, which made her feel rather ashamed. The envoy, however, was very caring. Since she hadn’t brought along maids like Shui Pei, he personally took care of her, attending to every detail.

Of course, Shui Pei and the others couldn’t come along. How could one elope with a whole household? Shen Xiling hadn’t even told them that she wouldn’t return, feeling secretly sorrowful when she left.

Her mood had been gloomy for a few days since their departure. Seeing her silent sadness, Qi Ying promised to find a way to bring the maids over once they settled down, which slightly improved the girl’s spirits.

However, she wasn’t completely cheered up because she still missed Fenghe Garden deeply.

Living in Fenghe Garden for those four years had been like a dream. She loved every flower, leaf, grass, and tree there—the Huaijin Courtyard, the Woyu Courtyard, the candlelight in the Forget Room, and the lotus pond in the Wang Garden. Most importantly, the place held memories of her and him: when he ignored her at the gate of Fenghe Garden, when he taught her to read in the Forget Room, when he fed her crab in the Wang Garden, and when he kissed her for the first time on the bed in the Huaijin Courtyard… So many, many memories.

She really didn’t want to leave. Though she knew that what truly mattered was him, not the place, she still felt reluctant.

However, this sentimental mood began to fade after a few days, as the scenery outside Jiankang gradually changed, greatly astonishing Shen Xiling.

Shen Xiling was born and raised in Jiankang. The farthest she had ever traveled was to Langya to seek relatives, and occasionally for business in the Jianghuai region, all relatively close to Jiankang.

Jianghuai and Jiankang were closely connected, both prosperous and peaceful lands known for their abundant rice and fish since ancient times. Everywhere she looked, she saw scenes of people living happily and contentedly, never witnessing any signs of decay or displacement.

As they moved farther away from Jiankang, the scenery along the way grew increasingly desolate. The emperor’s blessings seemed to have not extended this far, with malnourished refugees often collapsing by the roadside. Passing through some villages and towns, the fields were worked by emaciated women, older children carrying younger ones helping their mothers. Occasionally, men were seen, all elderly or disabled—either gray-haired or physically impaired.

The sound of the carriage wheels couldn’t drown out the cries of hungry children by the road. Their parents were even more exhausted and famished than them—they were fortunate to still have parents. Many other children had lost theirs, reduced to piles of bones by the roadside.

This was indeed… a tragic sight of human suffering.

Shen Xiling wasn’t learning about the hardships of life for the first time. During Qi Ying’s northern campaign, she had already learned about the situation through various channels to try and help. But hearing about it and seeing it firsthand were vastly different. When these scenes so directly and suddenly invaded her vision, she was utterly shocked, unable to speak.

Such devastation, when it occurred, was so quiet—a person dying of poverty and hunger passed away silently, without anyone knowing or caring, as everyone was already struggling just to survive.

Shen Xiling was at a loss for words.

She hadn’t lived a life free from worries about food and clothing since birth. Before meeting Qi Ying, her life had been very hard. Though she hadn’t gone hungry, she knew the feeling of enduring cold winters and understood the heavy burden of poverty. Years of comfortable living had somewhat dulled her childhood memories, but now, witnessing these scenes, those memories resurfaced, causing her heart to ache.

She was fortunate; she had been saved by Qi Ying when she had nothing. But many others were not so lucky. No one came to save them, and they perished.

At this moment, she saw a mother walking along the road with her child. The mother fainted from hunger, and the child was wailing beside her. Unable to bear ignoring them, Shen Xiling pleaded with Qi Ying to stop the carriage and give them some food.

Though Qi Ying agreed, his expression appeared somewhat indifferent, lacking the usual warmth and kindness he showed her.

He even seemed somewhat cold-hearted.

She realized that he was different from her. Such scenes were commonplace to him, and he had witnessed even more severe ones, so he no longer easily succumbed to sorrow.

She understood him well, so even seeing his cold and detached demeanor didn’t make her misunderstand him as being unfeeling. Instead, she could grasp his true feelings: he wasn’t unmoved, but knew that beyond saving one life, countless other sufferings remained unsalvageable.

He felt powerless.

At that moment, Shen Xiling didn’t know what she was thinking. On one hand, she pitied those suffering people, and on the other, she felt sorry for this man who bore everything on his own shoulders, her heart twisting into knots.

She watched Qingzhu get off the carriage with water and naan bread. The child was sensible; though he was also hungry, he first fed his mother upon receiving the food. His mother regained consciousness, initially showing fear and shrinking back at the sight of the well-dressed Qingzhu. Realizing he was there to help, she set aside her fear, and before eating, began to kowtow, expressing endless gratitude.

…How much bullying must they have endured to react so fearfully?

Shen Xiling felt stifled. Turning back to look at Qi Ying, she saw he had already turned his face away, appearing composed, but his eyes were somber.

The carriage continued forward.

Shen Xiling closed the carriage window, no longer looking outside, but the earlier scene lingered in her mind. After much thought, she couldn’t help but ask Qi Ying, “I… can I do anything to help?”

Qi Ying turned to look at her, seeing the delicate fingers of the young girl clutching her skirt hem, her beautiful eyes clear and pure, like pink lotuses emerging from the mud in a pond.

Her words at that moment slightly brightened his mood, and he smiled, pinching her cheek, saying, “Didn’t you already donate tens of thousands of taels of silver during the court’s call for charitable donations from merchants?”

Shen Xiling was taken aback, then looked somewhat awkward and bashful, lowering her head halfway, saying, “Master knows…”

Qi Ying certainly knew.

Upon returning to Jiankang, his mother and elder brother had informed him of this matter. His mother even praised Wenwen, saying she had a kind heart and would surely be blessed in the future.

He had smiled at the time, thinking that blessings were intangible and unpredictable, but he knew his girl had always been so compassionate—her inherent nature unchanged.

Now, he replied with a smile, “Mother mentioned it to me—you did well and helped greatly.”

He was always like this. When talking about his own great achievements, he spoke lightly as if they were insignificant. Yet, no matter what she did, he would praise her, even using phrases like “helped greatly,” as if she were more remarkable than him, with a hint of indulgence.

Shen Xiling blushed under his praise, feeling even more embarrassed. Reflecting on the scenes she had just seen, her heart remained heavy. She furrowed her brows and said, “I originally thought tens of thousands of taels were quite substantial, but now it seems… like a speck of dust compared to a giant tree, a grain of sand in the vast sea, utterly useless. How much silver would it take to prevent such things from happening?”

She looked at him confusedly, eager to seek an answer from him, ready to act immediately.

This was the first time Qi Ying couldn’t answer her question.

In his youth, he had sought the answer to this question, believing that the root cause of national distress and the displacement of the people lay in the ongoing wars between the north and south. He thought that once the northern campaign succeeded and the Central Plains were restored, everything would stabilize and become peaceful.

But later, he realized he was wrong. For instance, despite the great victory in the northern campaign, the people were still displaced, and their conditions were even worse than before the war.

What about the future? Things were like this in the past, like this now—would they improve in the future? Not to mention that the current Great Liang lacked the strength to annex the mighty Northern Wei. Even if it had such power, history showed that unity inevitably led to division. Regardless of rise or fall, common people suffered, and none emerged unscathed.

Conflict would never cease because human nature was inherently combative, especially among those in power.

No one could stop the conflict; the only way out might be to control the manner of the conflict. To improve the lives of the common people, perhaps there was only one method…

Qi Ying fell into deep thought.

When he was lost in thought, his eyes became especially dark, like a deep pool whose bottom couldn’t be seen. Seeing this, Shen Xiling couldn’t help but show concern in her eyes. She cautiously reached out and held his hand. Coming back to himself, he looked at her, his expression returning to normal, giving her a smile and saying nothing more.