#189: Reunion (3)

That moment was hardly appropriate for intimacy, and Qi Ying hadn’t acted out of passion. He simply couldn’t bear to hear her say those cruel, self-harming words any longer.

The kiss was bitter, tinged with the taste of tears, far from the sweet, enchanting kisses they had shared in the past.

He quickly released her but pulled her back into his arms. This time, she finally stopped struggling, having cried herself into exhaustion, her sobs reduced to faint hiccups.

“It’s my fault, Wenwen,” he murmured repeatedly into her ear. “It’s all my fault…”

He truly had erred.

He had claimed he was driving her away to protect her, but deep down, his actions stemmed from confusion and fear—uncertainty about whether he could emerge victorious in the end. If he lost, he would lose everything entirely, a cost too heavy to bear.

What he was planning was a high-stakes gamble, riddled with uncertainties. Even now, many pieces of the puzzle were still missing, and the odds of failure far outweighed those of success. Yet, he had no choice but to take the risk. If it were only him, he could face death with equanimity—he had long grown weary of these dirty struggles. But behind him were her, his family, and his clan. If he died, what would become of them?

He had no choice but to gamble.

His haste to push her away stemmed from his own inner weakness. Over the years, he had lost so much that he had almost grown accustomed to loss. He even harbored doubts about ever truly turning things around. Had he been resolute and unwavering, he wouldn’t have rushed to send her away.

His hesitation had hurt her.

In that instant, Qi Ying felt as though he had been struck by a sudden clarity. The fog in his mind lifted, and the dust clouding his heart seemed to be swept away, restoring him to his former self.

He held her even tighter, his voice low and steady as he said, “There will be an outcome between us. We won’t part again.”

His tone wasn’t forceful, merely a calm declaration, yet it carried an undeniable certainty that inspired trust.

But Shen Xiling’s emotions were far from settled.

At first, her crying had been feigned—a ploy to elicit his comfort. But as their argument unfolded, a flood of grievances resurfaced. She hadn’t truly let go of the hurtful words he’d spoken, though she had always tried to rationalize them to herself. Still, wounds remained in her heart.

She, too, felt wronged.

And now, all those grievances erupted at once. No matter how much he apologized or consoled her, she couldn’t calm down. Instead, she grew angrier, demanding, “An outcome? What kind of outcome can we possibly have? You’re already addicted to the Five-Stone Powder, and you keep using it. How much longer do you think you’ll live like this? What’s your plan? Pretend to be with me and then die early?”

She was angry, furious even. But more than anything, she was afraid.

She loved him so deeply.

And because of that, she feared losing him all the more.

Shen Xiling cried even more desperately.

Qi Ying understood her feelings. If their roles were reversed, he would likely feel the same burning anxiety. His guilt toward her deepened, as did his tenderness. This little girl had always been so adept at tugging at his heartstrings. It had been true when she was a child, and it remained true now that she had grown up.

He could only yield, agreeing to every one of her demands. Still cradling her, he repeatedly promised in her ear, “I won’t touch that thing again. I’ll quit it. Please stop crying, okay?”

He coaxed her over and over until Shen Xiling gradually calmed down. She nestled against his chest, hiccupping softly, her tear-streaked face tilted up to scrutinize him warily. “Really?” she asked, suspicion lingering in her voice.

He sighed and nodded. “Really.”

She remained wary, unwilling to believe him immediately. She had heard how difficult such addictions were to break—most who became ensnared were trapped for life. And he had been using the powder for five years. Breaking free would undoubtedly be even harder.

She feared he wouldn’t succeed.

Qi Ying sensed her doubt, but words alone were futile now. He could only prove his commitment through action.

He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, tenderer and more cherishing than ever before—even more so than five years ago. Shen Xiling felt the familiar warmth and love, and the unease in her heart slowly began to dissipate.

She heard him say, “I’m not lying to you. From now on, everything is up to you.”

His voice was soft, tinged with resignation, evoking countless memories. Five years ago, during their journey south from Shangjing, they had playfully imagined life after running away together. She had teasingly asked him for control of their future household, and he had kissed her eyelashes, smiling as he replied, “It’s yours. All of it.”

Just like now—resigned, yet brimming with affection for her.

Shen Xiling’s nose tingled again.

She could feel it—they had returned to five years ago.

The distance, the barriers, the misunderstandings, and the separations were fading bit by bit. Like a shattered mirror, they were piecing themselves back together.

Becoming whole.

Becoming complete.

Dawn was breaking.

Later, he stayed by her side, comforting her until her tears subsided. Only then did he leave briefly—to fetch hot water for her.

This desolate mountain dwelling was exceedingly rudimentary. Aside from Qingzhu, there were no other servants, and naturally, Shen Xiling, being a woman, couldn’t accept his assistance. Thus, many tasks fell to Qi Ying himself.

He returned after a while, carrying a wooden basin and clean cloths to help her wash. Meanwhile, Shen Xiling, true to form, clung to him like a kitten. Even his brief absence had made her miss him dearly, and the moment he returned, she burrowed back into his arms, insisting he hold her.

Still the same clingy little cat.

After enduring so many trials, they had finally come back together, and both cherished this reunion deeply. Their bond felt even more precious now than when they first pledged their love years ago. Before long, they were entangled once more. Shen Xiling, wrapped only in a blanket, inadvertently exposed her skin with every movement. Her snow-white body bore traces of their indulgence from the previous night, exuding an intoxicating allure. Qi Ying’s gaze shifted slightly at the sight, and without thinking, he set the basin aside and pressed her back onto the bed.

They had crossed that line—now there were no more taboos. As their kisses deepened, they were drawn to relive the previous night. Shen Xiling, too, was caught in the throes of passion, but even as she surrendered to him, she softly resisted, whispering in his ear, “No…”

He could feel her arousal and assumed her resistance was merely a show of maidenly modesty. Unperturbed, he continued his ministrations, kissing her delicate neck. Unexpectedly, she whispered even softer, “It still hurts…”

These words startled Qi Ying. It took him a moment to fully grasp her meaning.

Indeed, her constitution had always been frail, and last night, under the influence of the drug, he had nearly lost control. He might have hurt her…

Concern flooded him, dispelling any lingering thoughts of intimacy. He quickly propped himself up and asked, “Did I hurt you?”

She was still cocooned in the blanket, her glossy black hair fanned across the pillow. Her cheeks were flushed a vivid red, like they had been painted with the finest rouge, exuding an irresistible allure.

She reached out with her bare arm, pulling him closer by the neck. Forehead pressed against his, she pouted playfully, “Feigning concern now, are we? As if you care so much.”

Her adorable expression made him chuckle. Unable to resist, he pinched her cheek lightly and retorted, “And how exactly am I not caring for you?”

She pouted again, her innocence mingling with a newfound sensuality. Compared to her childhood self, she had blossomed into a bewitching young woman, even more captivating now.

She smiled, then gently nibbled his earlobe, teasing, “If you really cared, why didn’t you go easier on me last night, no matter how much I begged…”

…Those words nearly cost Qi Ying half his life.

This little minx…

She teased him mercilessly, acting completely nonchalant, knowing full well he wouldn’t dare hurt her again. Helpless against her charm, he could only yield, gently prying her hands away. Sitting upright, he distanced himself slightly, then bent down to retrieve the basin. Wetting a clean cloth, he handed it to her, saying, “The water’s still warm. Clean yourself up first.”

This rugged mountain was no Fenghe Garden, with its private baths and spacious tubs. For now, she could only make do with a quick wash. Tomorrow, he would find a way to procure a proper bath for her.

His little girl…

She was so precious. He wanted to give her the very best of everything. Yet now, not only had he taken her innocence in such an unclear manner, but they were also stranded in this desolate place, without even a servant to attend to her.

It was all his fault.

Shen Xiling noticed the shift in Qi Ying’s mood. Once again, he seemed burdened by some strange sense of responsibility, feeling guilty toward her.

She found it amusing, yet her heart softened. She was grateful that he hadn’t changed—he still loved and cherished her just as he always had.

She sat up and nestled back into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist. Nuzzling against him, she said, “I don’t feel bitter. My childhood days were much like this, and I lived through eleven years of them. What’s so bad about it?”

She smiled, tilting her head to plant a soft kiss beneath his chin. Hugging him tightly, she added, “As long as I have you, nothing else matters.”

And it was true.

She hadn’t been born into luxury. Before coming to him, she had spent many years living humbly with her mother in a small courtyard. Material comforts had never been her priority.

But her indifference didn’t mean Qi Ying felt the same. In fact, the less she seemed to mind, the more he blamed himself. Though his face betrayed nothing, his heart grew heavier with guilt.

He sighed, pulling her gently into his arms, silent but contemplative.

Shen Xiling noticed his silence but couldn’t discern his thoughts. Assuming he was still burdened by guilt, she felt a pang of helplessness. To lighten the mood, she teased, “Since you feel so guilty, remember to make it up to me later.”

Qi Ying snapped out of his reverie, looking down at her. Seeing her lovely face, he couldn’t resist placing a soft kiss on her eyelashes. “What do you want?” he asked.

Once again, he wore the look of someone willing to give her anything.

Shen Xiling’s heart swelled with sweetness. After five long years of separation, she finally felt a sense of peace return.

She idly played with his slender fingers, tilting her head thoughtfully. After a moment, she said, “I want to go home.”

Home.

Back to Fenghe Garden.

That was where they truly belonged.

When she finished speaking, she noticed a flicker of emotion cross his face, followed by a subtle ripple of sentiment. Perhaps, like her, he longed to return home as well.

He sighed, pulling her back into his arms. Resting against his chest, she heard him say, “Alright.”

“I’ll definitely take you home.”