Chapter 93: Mind Games

Shang Zhitao took care of Luan Nian at his home for three consecutive days. On the third day, which was Saturday, she had arranged to take a French lesson with her teacher. After getting up and hearing that Luan Nian was already awake, she knocked on his door and asked from the doorway: “Luke, how are you? Do you feel better today?”

“Getting better.” The phrase “getting better” was ambiguous, not specifying whether he was actually better or not.

Shang Zhitao nodded: “If you’re getting better, does that mean the stone is about to pass? Isn’t it supposed to be the most painful when it’s about to come out?”

“It should be, but it varies from person to person.” Luan Nian opened the door, looking a bit pale.

Shang Zhitao thought he looked really pitiful and said: “You really don’t look well. How about I stew a chicken to nourish you?” Over the past few days, she had proudly showcased the few dishes she knew how to cook, though their taste was hard to describe. But Luan Nian forced himself to eat them all, showing rare empathy and not wanting to reject her kindness. Sometimes he wondered: aren’t seasonings just salt, soy sauce, pepper, oyster sauce, and a few others? Yet she somehow always got it wrong—either putting too much of one thing or forgetting another. In short, nothing ever tasted good. Hearing her now suggest stewing a chicken, he shook his head: “I’d like something else.”

“Something else?”

“Seafood, perhaps.” To avoid Shang Zhitao insisting, he took out his phone and called a friend: “Can you help me deliver a meal?” Then he started ordering dishes. Shang Zhitao heard abalone, lobster, and sea cucumber, and followed up by saying: “It seems like you’re not…” She wanted to say, you’re not fully recovered yet, so it’s best not to eat these things.

“Shh.” Luan Nian placed his index finger on his lips to shush her, signaling her to be quiet. After placing the order, he sat back down on the sofa, looking sickly and alone.

Shang Zhitao sat beside him to discuss his condition: “The doctor said it could take as little as one or two days, or as long as three or four days, but it should come out by now.”

“Mm.”

“So it should be around today.” She pointed to his lower abdomen: “Do you feel anything?”

The place she pointed to was a bit sensitive. Luan Nian glanced down, but he wasn’t looking at the same spot as Shang Zhitao. He coughed lightly: “No.”

“Oh.”

After a while, Shang Zhitao asked again: “So, do you still feel pain?”

“Intermittent pain.”

“Do you think you can be alone? You seem much better than the other day, so I think I can take Luke and go. I have plans this weekend.”

“Who are you meeting? The ice hockey coach?” Luan Nian asked.

“How did you know I have a friend who teaches ice hockey?”

Luan Nian raised an eyebrow. Wasn’t it easy to find out? There was nothing you couldn’t hear in the company break room. That big mouth Lumi made sure everyone knew.

They were talking about Wan Jun. At first, Shang Zhitao and Wan Jun kept in daily contact. Shang Zhitao maintained a positive attitude; she didn’t dislike Wan Jun. Sun Yu had told her that if she kept rejecting him, it seemed like she was stringing him along. Although Shang Zhitao insisted on splitting costs equally, whenever Wan Jun gave her gifts, she reciprocated with equal value. However, the time spent was also an intangible asset.

Shang Zhitao had considered starting a slow romance with Wan Jun, trying out different possibilities. But during Wan Jun’s first visit upstairs, he showed a look of disgust upon seeing Luke and told Shang Zhitao: “I don’t like dogs. If we start dating, we’ll definitely have to give the dog away.”

A life, to be given away just like that? Luke has been with me even before I met you. Who do you think you are? She immediately blocked him that day.

She had told this story to Lumi, who patted her shoulder and praised her: “Good job! Today, he tells you to give away the dog; tomorrow, he tells you to send away your parents. In the end, you’ll have to listen to him. Good that you blocked him.”

Shang Zhitao didn’t think Wan Jun would make her send away her parents, but she found it hard to accept that he didn’t embrace Luke.

Luan Nian turned to look at her, with Luke sitting in front of them. Luan Nian’s expression was focused, as if wearing a pair of X-ray glasses, trying to see through Shang Zhitao completely.

“Shang Zhitao.”

“Hmm?”

“That day, you said you wanted to go on an adventure in your twenties.”

“Yes.”

“Would you be willing to go on another adventure with me?”

From the moment they parted at Victoria Harbour, Luan Nian felt as if he had lost something. What Shang Zhitao gave him was precisely the missing part within him, a part that was too precious to retrieve. Luan Nian had always known that he wasn’t very good, but now he wanted to try a new possibility.

Shang Zhitao looked at Luan Nian. That day under the bridge, when he walked into the shabby restaurant, it was as if he had descended from heaven to earth. At that moment, she thought something more might happen between them. But despite the beauty of Victoria Harbour, he didn’t hold her hand. She had come to terms with it and wanted to move forward. During this time, she met other men and went on dates, all in an effort to break free from that situation.

She couldn’t turn back.

“No,” she smiled at Luan Nian, “That’s not an adventure; it’s just retracing old paths. I don’t like it.” She stood up and said to Luke: “Come on, it’s time to go home.”

As she led Luke out, the spring sunshine was so pleasant. Luke squinted its eyes, clearly happy, thinking Shang Zhitao would take it for a walk and then return. When Shang Zhitao reached the entrance, the security guard greeted her: “Taking the dog for a walk, Miss Shang?”

Shang Zhitao stopped and asked him: “Do you know if anyone in this neighborhood makes fresh meat dog food?”

“Yes. They handed out flyers here before the New Year.”

So Luan Nian had taken the flyer and hadn’t thrown it away? Was he planning to get another dog or did someone else he knew have a dog? What exactly was he thinking? Holding Luke, Shang Zhitao turned back, wanting to verify.

Luan Nian opened the door, and she immediately asked: “Do you still have the flyer for the fresh meat dog food?”

Luan Nian pointed to the shoe cabinet, and she opened it to find the flyer lying there.

“Why are you keeping this? You don’t have a dog.”

“In case Luke comes over...”

Shang Zhitao pulled him by the collar and kissed him. She didn’t want to hear him talk because his words always made her feel uneasy. She thought Luan Nian was worth analyzing. He often spoke harshly, but his actions were gentle. For instance, though he said he didn’t like Luke, he bought it so much food and treated it well; though he called her stupid and claimed he didn’t want to teach her, he had been teaching her since five years ago and never stopped, even after their relationship ended; though he said he didn’t like her, he took care of her and protected her. He had the worst mouth but also the softest heart. Shang Zhitao understood this now.

Her kiss was too eager, her teeth biting his lips, almost wanting to bite off his uncommunicative mouth. Yet, feeling pain at her force, her tongue replaced her teeth, tenderness replacing sharpness. This made Luan Nian’s hard heart leap with joy.

The hand holding his collar refused to let go, nor would it allow him to retreat. He had invited her on this adventure, and she had come. Her lips pressed against his, making it hard to stay clear-headed, her breath hot: “Is this my adventure?”

Luan Nian pushed her against the wall, pressing his body against hers, his hand exploring beneath her shirt, somewhat violently: “Don’t retreat.” The roughness of his palm heavily grazed her jade-like skin, his teeth biting her neck, his tongue then pressing against it. Shang Zhitao let out a soft moan, arching her body to adapt, her chest rising and falling, separated by his hand, only to be pushed back against the wall. A dull pain hit her back, and Shang Zhitao let out a muffled groan, which Luan Nian silenced with his lips.

Her shirt was too much in the way; Luan Nian disliked it, using great force, causing the buttons to scatter all over the floor, startling Luke who jumped up, staring blankly at them, completely unsure of what they were doing.

Amidst the sound of buttons hitting the floor, Shang Zhitao faced the wall, her back pressed against his burning chest, collapsing under his fingertips.

“Luan Nian...” she called his name, urging him to come in.

The doorbell rang, ruining the moment, and both of them froze like startled birds. Shang Zhitao held her breath, her movements halting. Turning around, she gasped for air in his arms, feeling as if the breath was stuck in her chest, unable to escape. She slightly resented him for enticing her, already forgetting that she was the one who initiated the kiss. Shedding her mask of self-restraint and politeness, she coquettishly whispered for the first time in over half a year: “Luan Nian...”

This call of “Luan Nian” nearly killed him. Bending down, he swept her up horizontally and carried her upstairs. Shang Zhitao urgently patted her chest: “The doorbell.”

“To hell with it!”

Luan Nian hated the doorbell; he now wanted to let his companion explore inside Shang Zhitao’s body. Throwing her onto the bed, her shirt in disarray, exposing half a shoulder that was snow-white and delicate. Luan Nian’s gaze was devouring, and Shang Zhitao suddenly shrank back to the head of the bed. His hand caught her ankle, eventually pulling her beneath him.

Reaching the deepest point, Shang Zhitao curled her toes, her misty eyes calling his name: “Luan Nian.”

“I’m here,” he responded, his voice trembling from the intensity of his movements. Familiar with her body, he knew her most sensitive spots—wherever she was afraid, he targeted. The wetness increased, and Shang Zhitao collapsed amidst a bright light.

Thorough.

After catching his breath, Luan Nian picked up the phone, seeing several missed calls and many messages: “Didn’t order seafood? Where is everyone?”

“The delivery guy left it at your doorstep; go get it yourself.”

Luan Nian showered, threw on some clothes, and went downstairs to retrieve the seafood containers—five boxes of live seafood. Entering the house, he prepared the broth, planning to make a seafood hot pot.

Behind him stood Shang Zhitao, who had just realized something: “Luan Nian, your kidney stone... has it passed?”

Luan Nian faced away from her, his expression changing slightly. After a while, he said: “I don’t know. But I don’t feel bad anymore.”

He hadn’t anticipated that one day he would resort to a ruse involving feigned illness, initially motivated by a simple desire to spend more time with her. Spending more time together bred greed. He wanted to embark on an adventure with her.

Luan Nian felt that his previous thirty-something years lacked true color. After meeting Shang Zhitao, he began to embrace human diversity, started noticing the烟火气 (earthly charm) in everyday life, and came to understand human weaknesses and genuine desires. The night scenery of Victoria Harbour was enchanting; he should have said something romantic, but selfishly, he pushed her away. Looking back later, he realized how absurd he had been.

Luan Nian had never been straightforward; he would stop at nothing to achieve his goals. He had stolen her keys and pretended to be sick. A man can be flexible; he didn’t find it shameful. However, today’s pretense of illness differed from stealing her keys back then. At that time, he merely liked her body, perhaps also liking her as a person, but not deeply. Now, he wanted to properly embark on an adventure with her, to see if anything could be different between them.

Matters of the heart have no right or wrong, only two people deciding where they want to go. This time, Luan Nian turned the wheel around, heading toward Shang Zhitao.

Shang Zhitao hugged him from behind, her tone both reproachful and tender: “Passing the stone is a good thing, but hiding it was your mistake. How cunning of you.”

While organizing the seafood, Luan Nian said: “Men, who among us is truly good?”