FBS - 4

As dusk began to settle, the mansion gates were opened.

The procession of carriages flowing in, one after another, was so long that I could see it even from my bedroom. Occasionally glancing out the window, I reluctantly sat down at the vanity at the maid’s urging.

My hair, washed since morning, gleamed, and my body, washed with bathwater made from crushed flowers, emitted a fragrant scent.

I stared blankly into the mirror while the maid neatly braided my blonde hair into a single plait. Whether I was lost in thought or not, the preparations proceeded steadily. When I came to my senses, my makeup was already finished. All that remained was to put on the dress.

Slowly rising, I turned to the side. The crimson dress the maid held looked incredibly alluring. Since I had no intention of attending the party today anyway, I had tried to avoid dressing up as much as possible. However, because of that dress, which my mother had bought thinking of me even while away on her honeymoon, I simply couldn’t ignore her loving sincerity.

“Oh my.”

“It suits you so well.”

“The mistress has excellent taste.”

The maids who had helped me into the dress stepped back, each exclaiming in admiration. To me, who hadn’t yet looked in the mirror, it sounded like they were talking about someone else. Clutching the hem of the dress that covered my ankles, I looked into the full-length mirror.

Only then did the flamboyant attire, so vibrant it seemed to dull all surrounding colors, come into view at once.

“Miss, are you really not going to attend the party?”

The maid, smoothing my slightly disheveled waistline, asked with a hint of disappointment. I had already told them this morning that I wouldn’t be attending the party. They all knew my position as a bastard child and seemed to understand, but seeing me dressed up like this seemed to make them waver.

And for good reason. Even to my own eyes, the person in the mirror was so perfect that it would be a shame not to attend the party.

“The master and mistress would also be very eager to see you.”

“That’s right. And there probably won’t be another occasion to wear such a splendid dress unless it’s a party like today.”

The servants at the Marquis’s residence where my grandfather lived were quite different from the maids here. There, there was only formal obedience, and no one would speak to me, knowing my grandfather’s displeasure. But the people working here approached me very kindly, as if Barque had given them specific instructions about me.

My tightly closed heart wavered more than anything else at the words that ‘Mother’ would want to see me. Even yesterday, I had been bothered all day, wondering if I had refused too firmly during tea time.

It wasn’t just anyone; it was something Mother had specifically bought for me.

Mother had never hesitated to show me off to others. The problem lay with me. My self-esteem, worn down by my grandfather, was simply trying to hide me.

Mother would be happy to see me...

“...Then, I’ll just go and greet Mother briefly.”

Clutching the hem of my skirt, I hesitated for a long time before speaking, and the maids all beamed with delight.

The party hall, it seemed, had already begun, its lively atmosphere palpable even from outside the door. It felt like too many gazes would be directed at me if I entered through the main entrance, so I headed to the second floor under the maid’s guidance. The second-floor interior, entered cautiously, was only dimly lit, as the light didn’t penetrate well.

Like a shadow, I walked through the space towards the railing.

The chandelier hanging from the center of the hall’s ceiling glittered as dazzlingly as the sun. The light emanating from the crystal jewels brightly illuminated the interior of the party hall. Below, a convivial scene unfolded. It was a feast of women in colorful dresses and men in neat, formal tailcoats. It was a completely different atmosphere from the second floor where I hid in the darkness.

I found the man and Mother without difficulty.

Welcoming the guests who had just arrived, they were standing close together, as if to signify that they were a couple. Looking closely, I saw that Mother had her arm linked with Barque’s thick forearm.

I had prepared myself, but seeing the two of them so close made my heart ache. It felt as if I had been betrayed by someone I had trusted. Once again, I couldn’t tell which of the two I was feeling this emotion towards. I composed my troubled mind by slowly closing and opening my eyes.

Don’t look at them. Rosen.

You’re just going to show Mother how you look in the dress and then leave.

That’s all you need to do.

Even as I repeated those words to myself, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. A subtle dull ache spread through my heart, and the back of my neck stiffened as if I were bound.

As Mother whispered something to Barque, he drew a faint smile. Then, the harsh impression emanating from his large frame softened somewhat. That atmosphere harmonized well with my kind and benevolent mother.

It was a different smile than the one he showed me, and that made my insides churn endlessly. Still unable to completely shake off my feelings for the man, I was terribly greedy. My deep inner self hoped that Mother wouldn’t see that side of him that I knew.

I loathed myself, a hypocrite like no other. I liked and disliked the sight of my affectionate parents, disliked and liked it. The midnight moments when the man had breathed fiery desires into my ear flashed vividly in my mind.

A faint tingling that had spread from deep within my chest reached my fingertips. My fingers twitched at each knuckle, and I soon let out a deep sigh. It was a foolish thought. No matter what, I shouldn’t have come to this place today.

I was just about to turn around to go back to my bedroom.

“Kyaa...!”

Suddenly, surprised by a hand grabbing my shoulder, I clung to the pillar beside the railing. Hastily raising my eyes, I saw a young nobleman standing there awkwardly with his hand raised. He was a man with striking silver hair that shone even in the dim light. That hand hovering in the air must have touched my shoulder a moment ago. I met his gaze with wary eyes.

“Ah.”

The young nobleman blinked his wide eyes, even more flustered by my startled reaction than I was. Seeing no malice in his face, I also relaxed the tension in my eyes.

“I apologize. It seems I startled you unintentionally.”

He soon regained his composure and slowly drew a smile.

“My name is Ergel Groffen, from the Groffen family.”

The young nobleman greeted me with natural courtesy, as if good manners were ingrained in him. As he placed his hand on his left chest and bowed his head, I also returned a slight bow.

“You seem like a young lady I haven’t met before. Is this your first time at a social gathering?”

The young nobleman, Ergel, seemed to be quite friendly, initiating conversation smoothly.

From the beginning, I had only intended to quietly see Mother and return. I hadn’t anticipated encountering anyone in the process, so I clutched the hem of my skirt with a dismayed expression. Ergel waited silently without pressing me. He seemed kind, but his posture suggested he wouldn’t move aside until he received an answer, so I had no choice but to speak.

“Yes. It’s my first time.”

“If it’s not too presumptuous, may I ask your name, young lady?”

I bit my painted lips.

Why was he asking for my name? Always, at all times, I had been so busy hiding myself that the situation of someone asking for my name was quite bewildering. Yet, I couldn’t just ignore this well-mannered nobleman to his face and walk away.

I chose my words carefully for a long moment before speaking. It was only now that I realized this was the first time I was introducing myself to someone. My grandfather had disliked seeing me since I was a baby, and I had always been eager to hide in Mother’s shadow, so it was only natural.

Even Barque had already known my name when we first met, so there had been no need for me to say it myself.

“Rosen...”

And one more thing.

Only after uttering my name did I realize that from now on, his family name would follow mine. A clear sign that we were bound as one family. Recognizing that, the memories of our lascivious tumbling in bed also surged like a storm.

The realization of what I had done with my stepfather-to-be gnawed at me moment by moment. It was only for a fleeting instant, but accusations against my past self, who had tried to accept him, welled up.

Ignoring the greed crouching within me, constantly trying to break down my reason, I barely spoke clearly.

“Rosen, Estellan is my name.”

“Estellan?”

“......”

“Ah, so you are Countess Estellan’s... the protagonist of today’s party...”

Ergel trailed off, as if only then realizing who I was. He seemed to be at a loss for the appropriate title to use. I understood. I was an adopted daughter, not a drop of blood related to Estellan, and a bastard child born to my mother and a commoner. Neither was a topic easy to bring up in the etiquette-conscious social circles.

“I see. That’s why you seemed unfamiliar. But what are you doing here?”

He cleared his throat with a “ahem” and then continued the conversation as if nothing had happened.

Without answering, I glanced towards the railing. I wanted to check if Mother’s welcoming of guests had finished. But Ergel, taking my action to mean something else, also leaned his upper body towards the railing.

“Ah, there they are. Count and Countess Estellan.”

Realizing that the distance between Ergel and me had become unnecessarily close, I took a step back. His eyes widened at my wary behavior, and he gave a small smile. It was a smile as if to say, ‘Do you think I’m going to eat you?’

“Why aren’t you with them?”

“...I’m a little uncomfortable.”

My gaze, having barely managed to pull itself away, returned emptily to the man and Mother. It was because Ergel had pointed them out and asked.

Barque’s hand was wrapped around Mother’s waist. A wretchedness that stiffened my fingertips consumed me. I didn’t even know what was wretched, but somehow I was floundering in that terribly intense emotion.

“Marriage. Did you oppose it?”

Ergel, who had somehow leaned his arm on the railing, asked while steadily gazing at the figures on the floor below. His casual tone was so natural that it was hard to believe he was delving into someone else’s family affairs. He probably thought so based on my reluctance to readily approach the two of them.

I let out a deflated, involuntary chuckle. Ergel turned to look at me, his face questioning why I was suddenly laughing.

He wouldn’t know.

How could this young nobleman, who seemed to have grown up without any lack in any aspect, understand my feelings? Born with the blood of a half-noble, I had grown up watching others’ moods, in a position where I couldn’t dare to ‘oppose’ anything.

Oppose. Opposition. If I had been in a position to express such a thing, I would have done it a hundred times over. When my future stepfather began to reach his insidious hand towards me. When he probed and sucked between my legs, teasing me with a wet voice. When he used Mother as a pretext to entrap and suppress me. Every moment, the urge to shatter their marriage arose within me.

But I was not someone who could do that. Not only could I not oppose it, but I had to protect this marriage at all costs. A sense of duty, like a mission, stemmed from my grandfather’s sharp gaze that reproached me.

If I were to ruin this marriage, I would never, ever be forgiven by him.

“It’s nothing. Rather than that, how about we go downstairs now? It seems the party is about to begin.”

“Aren’t you going, young lady?”

“Yes. I have no intention of making my debutante today. I have no desire to steal the spotlight from the party where my father is the main figure.”

Having said my piece, I turned my body as if without any lingering attachment. I wanted to get out of this place as quickly as possible.

I didn’t know what was suffocating me, but I had been feeling increasingly breathless since earlier. Roughly guessing, it seemed to be after seeing the affectionate and intimate 모습 of Mother and my stepfather. Even though I had resolved to shake it off, the feelings towards Barque, remaining like dust or hair, were clearly making my senses uncomfortable.

So I wanted to go outside where I could breathe, but this attempt was also blocked by Ergel. He quickly moved his feet and once again stood in front of me. Perhaps worried that I would be startled again, he seemed to have chosen this method instead of touching me.

Maybe it was because I had been treated harshly by Barque, but his attitude felt surprisingly gentlemanly.

“My name. Do you remember it?”

At his sudden question, I slowly blinked my eyes.

For a moment, I wondered if this man thought I was a fool. It was a question that made me suspect that.

“You said it was Ergel. It hasn’t even been five minutes since you introduced yourself.”

“Then, what about the family name?”

“That’s... ah.”

I was about to answer as if it were obvious, but I had no choice but to stop speaking because I couldn’t think of anything besides Ergel. Then, Ergel laughed hollowly, as if it was the reaction he had fully expected. It was the moment when it was revealed that I had no interest in him whatsoever during our mere five-minute conversation.

“Wow, that’s harsh. Even though it hasn’t even been five minutes since we were introduced.”

Ergel repeated my words exactly. Judging by his calm tone, he didn’t seem to be mocking me, but I still felt like it could be upsetting. Nobles usually valued their family name more than their given name, as was the custom. It was natural in a world where the power and wealth they would hold were determined by their inherent lineage.

“...I’m sorry.”

Turning my head away to avoid his gaze, I suddenly met someone’s eyes below the railing and stiffened in surprise. Barque, who had clearly been standing side by side with Mother with his back to me, was now staring directly at me.

Since when had he noticed I was standing here? When Ergel and I started our little... not quite an argument? Or perhaps... from the very beginning? He was a man skilled at reading subtle movements with a knight’s intuition, so it wouldn’t be an entirely unreasonable guess.

Whatever the case, startled, I couldn’t even exhale easily.

“Young lady?”

While maintaining a tension that made my blood vessels expand uncontrollably, Ergel, perhaps finding my sudden stiffness strange, called out to me tentatively. Even though the room where many people had gathered was very noisy, Barque slowly turned his gaze towards Ergel, as if he had heard him call my name. It was a sharp gaze, like sizing up a marked prey.

“Instead of that, why don’t we go downstairs together?”

My gaze, which had been fixed on Barque, quickly shifted to the words Ergel offered.

“Pardon?”

“Isn’t it too much of a waste to return like this?”

Ergel winked and suddenly grabbed my wrist. And before I could stop him, he started walking towards the stairs leading to the first floor.

Taken aback, I tried to twist my wrist to free my hand, but by then we were already going down the stairs, and I couldn’t resist strongly for fear of falling. The fact that I was wearing unfamiliar shoes, which I didn’t usually wear, also played a part.

As soon as we reached the first-floor hall after passing the landing, I pulled my wrist free from Ergel’s grasp. It might have seemed quite cold, but I had no time to consider such trivialities.

Suddenly appearing before others as if placed in an empty field, my heart pounded. My confusion surged twofold, as I had absolutely not wanted to show myself in this way.

At our sudden entrance, those near the stairs began to glance sideways at Ergel and me. Even that made my throat tighten little by little. Among them, the gazes that saw my dazzling appearance under the light of the chandelier were obvious.

Should I go back up the stairs now? I had just decided that would probably be best.

My eyes met Mother’s, who was standing far away.

“Oh my. Rosen?”

Mother, who rarely raised her voice, widened her eyes and covered her mouth, clearly very surprised. The gazes that had felt merely prickly until then suddenly poured down on me like countless stones, ready to crush me.

Mother pushed through the crowd and approached me. She stroked my cheek and looked me over from head to toe, examining my appearance today. Finally, her gaze settled on the red dress she had personally gifted me.

“My goodness. You look so beautiful.”

I truly hadn’t wanted to show her like this. Not in a place filled with so many gazes, but in a private place where we could talk intimately. Still, seeing the joy in Mother’s eyes, I couldn’t help but feel my own heart lighten. The joy of my world was also my own joy.

Mother smiled warmly as she stroked my cheek.

“What in the world happened? You were so reluctant to come.”

“I brought her here myself, Countess,” Ergel interjected before I could answer. Needless to say, Mother’s gaze, which had been solely fixed on me, turned to him.

“And you are...?”

“Ergel Groffen, from the Groffen family.”

“Ah, I see. So you are the young nobleman who brought Rosen here?”

“Yes. She was about to return in such a beautiful state, and I couldn’t help but feel it was a shame, so I took the liberty of interfering a bit.”

The two of them conversed easily, with me in between.

Ergel, naturally sociable, readily displayed a smooth attitude even in front of an elder. I wanted to end this situation before he said anything stranger—no, actually, before Barque approached us—so I hurriedly spoke.

“I only came to show Mother how I look in the dress. I’ll be going now.”

“What are you talking about?”

I had expected she wouldn’t let me go easily, and indeed. Mother held onto me with a look full of regret. Weak to her loving gaze towards her daughter, I couldn’t help but waver again.

At that moment, the gathered crowd suddenly parted, and a man far taller than anyone else appeared. The sight of him, all in black, made me grip the hem of my skirt tightly.

As Barque appeared, my heart sank as if I were a mouse encountering a cat.

“Countess. Might I have the honor of the first dance with your precious daughter?”

It was at that same moment that Ergel displayed an unexpected action.

He seemed to have anticipated that I would absolutely not agree, so he immediately targeted Mother first. Dance? I had to refuse quickly, but I couldn’t move a single finger under Barque’s stern gaze that was fixed on me.

Mother, oblivious to her husband’s expression, chuckled at Ergel’s smooth request and replied.

“Even if I permit it, wouldn’t our Rosen’s consent be necessary?”

I had never doubted Mother’s love for even a single moment. Yet, at this very moment, seeing her consider my feelings first even amidst the countless gazes focused on us, that love felt even more genuine. Mother did not regard me, born between her and a commoner, as a blemish in the slightest.

The turmoil in my heart upon seeing Barque instantly subsided. In front of Barque’s very eyes, I linked my arm with Ergel’s, who was standing beside me.

I clearly saw the deep, abyss-like blue of my stepfather’s eyes subtly shift.

“Alright.”

It wasn’t out of any personal feelings for Ergel. It was a silent signal to Barque.

To give up on me now.

To let him know that he had become my stepfather, and was now in a position to watch me hold hands and dance with another man.

If anyone noticed my intentions and pointed fingers at me for using Ergel, so be it. If it could make my lustful stepfather give up on me, I would do even worse.

Ergel, who had been speaking smoothly as if he had wings, paused, seemingly flustered by my proactive response. I glanced sideways and saw that his ear, visible beneath his neatly swept-back silver hair, was tinged with red.

I quickly pulled him towards the dance floor before Barque could possibly grab me.

Ergel regained his composure around the time the orchestra began to play. He clearly showed off the education he had received since childhood, moving his body naturally to the music even after his initial daze.

On the other hand, I hadn’t received proper training in this area and repeatedly stumbled. I had only brought him along to show Barque, and hadn’t thought about anything beyond that. Since I had no intention of making my debutante today, my dancing was a complete mess.

With my head bowed low, I tried my best not to step on Ergel’s feet. After a while, a soft chuckle fell upon the crown of my head.

“This is the first time I’ve had such a clumsy partner.”

I was stung, but having nothing to say even if I had ten mouths, I busily moved my feet. It was a moment later that Ergel, who had been looking down at my feet along with me, placed my feet on top of his shoes while holding my waist.

Startled, I tightly gripped his shoulders. Our upper bodies pressed closely together. Contrary to his slender frame, I could feel quite well-defined lean muscles through his attire.

“W-wait a moment. My shoes will hurt you...”

“Whether it hurts from this or from being stepped on, it’s all the same.”

At his words that pointed out my clumsy skills, I glared at him. Ergel laughed heartily, as if my lively expression was amusing. Fortunately, his rather loud laughter was drowned out by the orchestra’s performance.

“Well, I suppose so. If you hadn’t dragged me down here by myself, I wouldn’t have been stepped on in the first place.”

Shifting the blame for this entire situation onto him, I looked past Ergel’s shoulder.

It was bad timing. My eyes met Barque’s, who was watching me with a powerful intensity that felt overwhelming. Even as people moved busily in the dance floor, Barque’s eyes didn’t waver in the slightest. He directed a fierce and relentless gaze solely at me.

Just as he only looked at me, I found myself unable to look away from him.

In those immeasurably intense eyes, an emotion I couldn’t quite describe flickered like heat haze. He was standing far away, and we hadn’t exchanged a single word, but I could fully sense that the man was consumed by rage.

Only after enduring that gaze could I truly realize what I had done. In front of my stepfather, who was blinded by his lust for me, I was boldly pressing my body against another man’s.

The moment I realized that, the peace that had been somehow maintained shattered into pieces.

The orchestra’s sweet melody had somehow transformed into a suspenseful rhythm that felt like it could break at any moment, and Ergel’s hand that wrapped around my waist made my limbs twist. As long as the memory of Barque pressing down on me and violating me remained vivid in my mind, it was only natural that my mind and body would feel uneasy.

“But it was love at first sight.”

My concentration, which had been scattered by Barque, returned to Ergel because of a single, suddenly heard word. A light tone, as if carried on the softly flowing music. I pondered the words I had heard, my eyes widening slightly.

He released the arm that had been around my waist and took my wrist instead.

“If I let you go like this, I don’t know when we’ll meet again, so I acted unintentionally hastily.”

Ergel delivered such sweet words with a completely straight face. Rather, it was I who listened who couldn’t properly manage my expression. The concentration that had gathered again scattered at his single word, and in the end, I ended up taking a large misstep. I tried to quickly regain my balance, but my ankle was more twisted than expected, and I had no way to support myself.

I thought I was going to fall in the end. But Ergel firmly wrapped his arm around my waist and lifted me, spinning me around once. It was only after landing on the floor that I realized it was the final move of the dance, which had flowed seamlessly.

“It was an honor to be your partner for your first dance.”

Ergel, stepping back, kissed the back of my hand. His flawless demeanor, leaving no room for criticism, reaffirmed that he was a well-educated and well-bred nobleman.

Standing in the very center, bathed in the light of the chandelier, offering my hand to a handsome young nobleman. It was only natural that attention would be focused on us.

Strangely, one gaze among them stood out particularly. Unusually intense, fierce, and piercing. Without even looking back, I knew it must be my stepfather’s, radiating a chilling glare like the tip of a well-honed blade.

My stomach churned as if I had crammed something indigestible into my mouth. It was overwhelming to be the center of unwanted attention, and even more so that Barque was in that gaze. Ah, indeed, he was no ordinary presence to me. Ergel couldn’t create the tension he was inflicting on me with just a single look, even if he pressed his body right against mine.

Without even having the courtesy to excuse myself, I hurriedly left the dance floor. I didn’t even have the presence of mind to find Mother and ask her permission to leave first. Asking a servant to convey the message was the best consideration I could manage.

I was walking busily down the hallway after leaving the hall.

“Young lady!”

A hurried shout reached my ears, where only the sound of my shoes had been audible. Even though I wanted to return to my bedroom as quickly as possible, my steps instinctively halted. It was because the voice calling me sounded familiar. Without turning around, I knew it was Ergel. The fact that it wasn’t Barque allowed me to finally release the tension I had been holding onto.

I slowly turned my body. The first thing I saw was his beautiful silver hair, shimmering in the moonlight.

“If I was presumptuous, I apologize.”

I wondered if he had come to reprimand me for leaving without permission. However, what came out of Ergel’s mouth was nothing less than an apology. His posture, bowing deeply at the waist, was hard to see as insincere. I was a little flustered and just stared at him with my lips pressed together.

“It’s about what I said during the dance earlier.”

“...Ah.”

Something about falling in love at first sight...

To be honest, I only remembered hearing those words now.

A dazzlingly splendid party hall, a sweet melody tickling the ears, a close distance where chest met chest.

The man’s confession was abrupt. But I couldn’t deny that it was enough to make the hearts of many women flutter. There was a charm in the scenery, the atmosphere, and the mingling breaths.

Nevertheless, the reason I hadn’t paid him any mind was because I had been too busy trying to avoid my stepfather, who was trying to strangle my breath. Compared to Barque, Ergel couldn’t exert even a fingernail’s worth of influence on me. It wasn’t because his presence was small. It was because my stepfather’s presence was so overwhelmingly significant to me.

The reason I could finally focus on Ergel now was because Barque wasn’t here.

“If it’s burdensome, could we perhaps start as friends?”

Perhaps impatient with my silent response, Ergel asked a little too quickly. I tightened my grip on my skirt.

Start as friends...

Start and... where does he want to go from there?

I scrutinized the man in front of me once more. Smaller than the naturally robust Barque, but still a head taller than me, Ergel looked every bit the young nobleman. Perhaps the blood flowing through his veins was, unlike mine, purely noble and clean.

It wasn’t that I wanted to denigrate my father’s blood as dirty. However, in aristocratic society, that was the established truth. In this lofty world, they regarded the lineage of uneducated commoners as dirty and vulgar, like that of beasts.

Wasn’t my grandfather living proof of that?

“It seems you don’t know much about me.”

Even when I was young, before I knew about the social hierarchy that existed between people, I was an ordinary child. A calm and unpretentious child who didn’t desperately try to hide myself in front of anyone, nor did I push myself forward.

However, under my grandfather’s sharp gaze, my self-esteem crumbled, broke, wore down, and eventually almost completely disappeared.

“I am a bastard. My mother is a noble, but my father is a commoner.”

So, I had chosen to hide myself.

Revealing myself in front of others felt unbearably miserable. I was afraid that the time would eventually come when I would have to utter the fact that I was of lowly birth. Because I would have to acknowledge that the blood of commoners, whom they regarded as the lowest of the low, flowed in my veins.

Just because my pride had been shattered didn’t mean I had completely forgotten the humiliating and pathetic feeling.

“So, if you stay close to me, you’ll hear more bad things than good.”

You are such a disgusting commoner who can’t even grasp your place. You don’t know your limits and are endlessly greedy.

Which noble would treat you as an equal? There isn’t anyone who doesn’t know that the blood of a lowborn flows in your veins!

Stop trying to tarnish your mother’s reputation any further and behave yourself. Please, don’t think about anything, don’t desire anything. Just live in that place, breathing like you’re dead.

The stories my grandfather had told me throughout my childhood echoed in my ears. They became a single echo, endlessly gnawing at my insides. Even though I thought I had become somewhat numb to the daily torrent of harsh words, recalling them now made the inside of my chest prickle as if it were filled with thorns. I hated Ergel for forcing me to finally utter these words.

Thinking I had said all I needed to, I tried to turn away. Ergel’s voice once again grabbed at my ankles.

“I don’t care about such things.”

“......”

“What worried me was only whether my rash action might have upset you, young lady.”

Ergel, as if knowing only how to go straight forward, only thought of approaching me no matter how much I pushed him away. His bold spirit eventually left me speechless. For a moment, we simply stared at each other without any conversation.

Around the time Ergel’s silver hair fluttered in the quietly blowing breeze, he gave a soft, eye-crinkling smile.

“Let’s start as friends.”

Just as the nobles disliked me, a corner of my heart also held a clear contempt and loathing for them.

I found their lives, where all they had to boast about was their noble lineage and they lived grandly based on that, childish and petty. So, I too was quite sick of the nobles. I was afraid of them, yet at the same time, they disgusted me.

The dark storm cloud that always resided in my heart, directed at them. The storm cloud that invariably rained down like ash on my heart whenever they approached me, was not felt for the first time.

Ergel, who approached so readily, was that much more of an unfamiliar type of person.

His repeated suggestion to ‘start’ as friends evoked a sense of pity in me. I folded my hands neatly and looked straight at Ergel.

“Even if we start as friends, we can never be what you desire.”

Because my heart had already been completely stolen by someone.

Even though that someone was an object whose very mention was a sin, I didn’t want to hide even my true feelings that were hidden beneath the surface. Above all, Ergel would never be able to guess who that person was.

As long as it wasn’t revealed that the person in my heart was my stepfather, who had married my mother, I could tell him a hundred times.

Ergel, surprised by my more resolute reaction than expected, paused and then nodded as if he had lost. I had no way to resist his warm personality, which seemed to accept even my firmness.

In the end, I couldn’t flatly reject his suggestion to meet again next time.