#191: As Before (2)

This man could be incredibly stubborn at times, with some peculiar principles. For instance, she had often teased him to let her pay for things, but he always refused. Once, he even went to Yi Lou for a meal with three newly minted jinshi scholars, yet he still insisted on paying the bill himself before leaving.

Not a single coin of hers would he spend, not an ounce of help would he accept.

How could he be like this?

Shen Xiling felt both angry and helpless. Upon reflection, she thought it might be her fault—he had never seen her display her reliability. So, to prove her competence, Shen Xiling elaborated on her recent achievements, slightly exaggerating how she had secretly worked with Master Gong, detailing the leverage she held over officials in the Wei court, and explaining how she had threatened Gu Juhán to finally gain access to him.

This genuinely surprised Qi Ying.

He had assumed Gu Juhán’s soft-heartedness brought her to this remote mountain, unaware of the entire backstory.

This little girl… silent as ever, yet capable of handling significant matters.

However, her actions were undeniably too risky—if Gu Juhán had truly decided to kill her? Naturally, she could entrust her leverage to someone else, causing apprehension in the Wei court, but she would inevitably put herself in danger.

He didn’t want her to face any harm.

Yet, the bright look in her eyes as she gazed up at him from his lap was too expectant. To dampen her spirits now would be inappropriate. After a moment’s thought, he decided that he would continue to protect her, resolving these matters himself.

Thus, Young Master Qi said nothing extra, merely pretending to be highly appreciative as he patted her head, praising, “Mm, very clever.”

Though brief, these words pleased the easily satisfied Shen Xiling, who felt quite content. However, she soon realized that despite his praise, he still showed no intention of discussing those conspiracies with her, making her even more anxious.

She hit him lightly, somewhat angrily saying, “Then tell me! Could I possibly ruin your plans?”

Qi Ying chuckled but didn’t respond. Just then, birds chirped melodiously in the loquat tree. He looked up at the treetops, pointing at the bird among the leaves and asking her, “What kind of bird is that?”

A clear diversion.

He wouldn’t discuss those matters with her. In his heart, though she might no longer be a child, she was still someone he intended to protect. He could share joys with her but would never let her share his burdens. Those matters he would handle himself, while his little girl needn’t worry about them.

Shen Xiling was utterly exasperated by this man, yet she couldn’t persuade him, leaving her to sulk silently. He smiled, gently kissing and soothing her. She was pitifully easy to pacify, quickly calming down and even looking up at the treetops as he suggested, genuinely trying to identify the bird.

After examining it, she said uninterestedly, “Isn’t it just a sparrow?”

“Is it?” He seemed quite intrigued, observing for a while until the bird flew away, then casually remarked, “I think it looks more like a yellow-breasted bunting.”

Shen Xiling had no interest in debating whether the irrelevant bird was a sparrow or a bunting. She lingered mournfully by his side for a while, then went to the kitchen to prepare a meal.

Reflecting on life’s many aspects, one finds them indeed quite profound.

Take time, for instance—such a definitive and irreversible thing, yet when it comes to certain people, it seems to lose all effect. That person seems able to replace time itself, or perhaps they are time incarnate, capable of transporting you back to the past, reverting you to your youthful self.

They held such significance for each other.

Being together erased the changes and wounds they had endured separately over the years, easily returning them to their past affectionate state. Everything was just as before, even their gazes unchanged—equally tender, equally lingering.

Perhaps there were some changes… especially at night.

Years ago, they were both very restrained. But since the events of a few days ago… everything was different.

Young Master Qi originally intended to adhere to gentlemanly conduct, thinking that since they weren’t married, spending nights together wasn’t entirely proper and restraint was better. However, no matter how firm his resolve during the day, by nightfall, he inevitably wavered.

But this couldn’t be entirely blamed on Young Master Qi.

His little girl was simply too alluring. Previously, she was merely beautiful, but now she possessed a certain charm. Moreover, she often looked at him with that hesitant gaze, seemingly enticing him. Any ordinary man would succumb to such provocation, and Young Master Qi was no exception. Consequently, the indulgence of that first night frequently repeated, leaving them with no other choice.

Sigh.

To be fair, Shen Xiling also enjoyed being close to him. However, girls tend to feel shy in such situations. Especially when he looked at her with those fiery phoenix eyes, her thin-skinned nature made her blush and avoid his gaze.

He… he was truly wicked.

And the bedtime moments after their intimacy were what Shen Xiling cherished most.

At these times, they would be very quiet, with little conversation. Yet, silence seemed to be the best form of intimacy. They often hid in this quietude, silently enjoying their gentle companionship. During these moments, he would thoughtfully massage her lower back. If she shed tears or acted petulantly, he would embrace and console her, apologizing regardless of fault, claiming he was wrong. If she questioned where he erred, he would say he was wrong in every way.

His temperament was impeccable, always leaving the little girl happily appeased.

That day, she nestled in his arms, refusing to sleep, chatting idly. Suddenly, she whimsically pinched her cheek and wrinkled her nose, asking if she had gained weight recently.

Qi Ying chuckled, glancing at her and pinching her other cheek, “Has she?”

“Yes,” Shen Xiling asserted confidently, feeling her waist and becoming even more certain. “I definitely gained weight.”

Seeing Qi Ying’s disbelief, she pulled his hand to measure her waist, asking, “See? Am I not thicker?”

Qi Ying grasped her waist, finding it so slender it barely fit his hand. He dared not apply pressure, fearing he might break it.

What weight gain? Nonsense.

He sighed, “No…”

But Shen Xiling remained adamant, attributing her recent weight gain to happiness-induced plumpness… They had been together in the mountains for nearly half a month, and she had been joyful every day, even her usually poor appetite had improved. Clearly, she had gained weight.

She didn’t mind gaining a bit of weight, but as she touched her waist, she suddenly blurted out, “…What if I’m pregnant?”

This caused Young Master Qi to cough.

Somewhat exasperated, he pinched her cheek again, saying, “How could it show so soon?”

Shen Xiling didn’t fully understand these matters, but upon reflection, it seemed implausible—it took three to four months for her sister-in-law Qin to show when she was pregnant.

She nodded, then leaned back into Qi Ying’s embrace, her previous liveliness fading into quiet contemplation, as if burdened by thoughts.

After some thought, she hesitantly asked, “Then… if I am pregnant, what should we do?”

This foresight was reasonable—indeed, she might be pregnant.

Not to mention the first night’s loss of control, but even in the past few days, he had…

Shen Xiling’s cheeks flushed red, yet her heart felt somewhat empty.

Although they had reconciled over the past days, he still hadn’t told her about his situation or his plans, which inevitably made her feel uneasy. She couldn’t help but worry… that he didn’t plan a future with her.

She knew their relationship faced numerous challenges—not only his complicated situation but also her own tangled circumstances. For instance, she was already remarried; even with extenuating circumstances, could she enter the Qi family again? Become his wife? Without this status, would they have children?

Shen Xiling didn’t know.

She wasn’t greedy, not demanding perfection with him. She could consider their current togetherness as stolen moments, knowing it might need to be returned someday. But ultimately, humans can’t help harboring some desires. She hoped that even if their relationship might not have a resolution, he could at least consider a future with her…

As she thought morosely, she suddenly heard him say, “Naturally, we’ll keep it.”

Naturally, we’ll keep it.

Without hesitation, decisively clean.

Shen Xiling was astonished, lifting her head to look at him. He calmly returned her gaze, raising an eyebrow at her surprise, amusedly asking, “What’s so surprising about that?”

His certainty left Shen Xiling momentarily speechless, unsure what to say. Her heartbeat quickened, and after a while, she managed to utter, “Keep it? But we…”

But we… really have a future?

Qi Ying understood her unspoken latter half, sighing inwardly.

This little girl… she wasn’t even sure if they had a future, yet she gave herself to him like this?

Truly…

He found her foolish, yet his heart swelled with pity for her—just like before, she easily made him ache.

He embraced her, letting her rest against his chest, while his other hand gently patted her hand. At that moment, he wanted to make promises to reassure her, but the future held too many uncertainties, even beyond his control. Thus, after deep thought, he chose to speak honestly: “I don’t know what our future holds. Perhaps I will lose this time.”

Hearing this, Shen Xiling felt a pang of sadness, though she knew his words were sincere. Just as she was about to respond, he added, “But if I ever have offspring in this life, it will certainly be your child.”

Shen Xiling froze.

It wasn’t a particularly moving statement, even sounding too plain and ordinary. Yet, as it reached Shen Xiling’s ears, her eyes welled with tears.

She understood his meaning.

He couldn’t guarantee their outcome would be good.

But even if it was bad, they would face it together.

—He had bound their fates together.