CITM - 17

Ye Yun returned to her room and tied up her long hair with a light blue ribbon. The warmth on her arm was still there—from the moment Bai Wenfu had just grabbed her. Ye Yun felt as if she had been caught in an invisible net, unable to move at all. Only when he curved his brows and released her did she hurriedly find an excuse to go back to her room and tie her hair.

When she came out again, Bai Wenfu handed her a bamboo basket covered with cloth. Ye Yun lifted the cloth and, to her surprise and delight, found a whole chicken—freshly plucked just now.

She looked up in amazement. “Where did you get this?”

“From my old leader’s house,” he replied.

Ye Yun whispered, “Does your leader know about this?”

Bai Wenfu imitated her in a low voice, “No.”

Ye Yun’s face immediately changed. She shoved the basket back at him. Bai Wenfu laughed and said, “My leader’s wife killed it herself. Do you think my leader wouldn’t know?”

Only then did Ye Yun relax and take the basket.

After the snow melted, the temperature had risen slightly these days. Bai Wenfu brought her to the back of an earthen dam, where a grassland backed by a mountain stretched out. There were many small stones by the dam.

Bai Wenfu spread out the cloth from the bamboo basket, laid it on the grass, and found some dry branches for Ye Yun to break into small pieces. He then gathered a pile of stones and stacked them into a circle to start a fire.

The warm flames leapt up. He sat down with his legs bent and placed the chicken on a rack over the fire to roast.

Ye Yun sat beside him, warming her hands.

Bai Wenfu asked, “Have you ever eaten chicken like this before?”

She shook her head. “No, I’ve never eaten chicken like this. I have had roasted sweet potatoes, corn, and potatoes, though. When I was little, my second sister and I took turns making fire and cooking. We would secretly put them under the stove.”

Bai Wenfu bent down and took a few sweet potatoes from the bottom of the basket, throwing them into the stones.

“You even brought these?” Ye Yun turned her head to look at him.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t have enough to eat,” he answered.

When the chicken was roasted, Bai Wenfu sprinkled spices on it. The aroma of the chicken combined with the fragrant spices made Ye Yun secretly purse her lips in hunger.

He tore off a chicken leg and handed it to her. “Try it. How is it?”

Ye Yun’s family rarely got to eat chicken. Even if they did, she could never get a chicken leg. When her uncle still lived at home, the meat was always divided among the men first. Bai Wenfu’s generous offer made her hesitate. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“You eat first.”

Ye Yun took the chicken leg. The chicken was roasted to perfection—crispy on the skin, tender inside, and cooked just right.

Bai Wenfu set the chicken rack aside, lay down, and crossed his hands behind his head as he gazed at the dark starry sky.

“When I was little, when my stomach was empty and there was no fat, I found ways to get food. One time, I slaughtered the laying hen my mother raised and came here with Wen Bin to roast chicken.”

His gaze glanced at Ye Yun, eyes shimmering with a captivating light. “He was just like you now, eating with his mouth full of grease.”

Ye Yun was taken aback. “Do I?”

Bai Wenfu took a clean cloth from his body and handed it to her. Ye Yun turned her head and wiped the corner of her mouth.

When she looked back, Bai Wenfu’s eyes darkened as he stared at the horizon, motionless for a long while. Ye Yun wasn’t sure if these childhood memories had stirred his longing for his brother.

She asked him, “What happened next? Did you get caught?”

Bai Wenfu helplessly twisted his mouth. “I got beaten for three whole days when I went back. Then I ran away.”

“Where did you run to?”

“Can’t remember. I had many friends back then. I’d hide at some place for a few days before coming back.”

“Did Wen Bin get beaten too?”

“No, I told him to go home and wipe his mouth clean, not to say he came with me.”

Perhaps because of the alcohol, Bai Wenfu’s relaxed posture carried a wild, untamable vibe, and he talked more than usual.

A trace of lingering melancholy hovered in Bai Wenfu’s eyes. He said to Ye Yun, “I was wild as a kid, often running away from home. Wen Bin was clingy; when he couldn’t find me, he got anxious. I thought he was really annoying back then. Our father died early, when I was eleven. Wen Bin was scared, so I stayed up with him every night. He told me Dad was gone and asked me not to run away anymore. But within two years, I still left home and didn’t come back for years. He hated me for breaking my promise. When we met again, he was already a grown young man. He punched me and we fought. I got hit a few times but didn’t want to let him suffer. When I left to earn money, the deal with my family was not to let Wen Bin leave school. After he found out, his anger toward me lessened. But those years, our relationship was like that—we barely spoke.”

Ye Yun remembered that whenever she mentioned Bai Wenfu to Wen Bin before, he always spoke up for his big brother. Maybe some words were buried deep in their hearts, never spoken and never to be.

She wiped her hands clean, her brow gently furrowed.

Bai Wenfu turned to look at her. “What about you? Do you still think of him often?”

This was the first time they talked so openly about Wen Bin. When Bai Wenfu asked this, Ye Yun tried to piece together Wen Bin’s image in her mind. Suddenly, a terrifying fact made her expression freeze.

She could remember Wen Bin’s bright smile, his tall and refined aura—but she couldn’t recall his face clearly anymore.

Without reason, Wen Bin’s features blurred in Ye Yun’s mind.

She tried closing her eyes to recall, but what appeared in her mind was Bai Wenfu’s face instead.

Ye Yun abruptly opened her eyes. Bai Wenfu’s voice came, “What’s wrong?”

Her eyelashes trembled uneasily, and she avoided his gaze. “If I said I almost don’t think about him, what would you say about me?”

She waited for a long time with no response, then turned her head. Bai Wenfu’s jacket was open, revealing a knit sweater clinging to his body, outlining his strong and lean figure.

The last time she drank with him, Bai Wenfu had no sign of drunkenness, but today, lying there, he had a casual, uninhibited charm, his intoxicated eyes warm when looking at people.

Ye Yun blushed slightly and asked, “How much did you drink?”

“Quite a lot.”

Ye Yun thought that since he said “quite a lot,” it must be a lot. He had been busy all day and hadn’t eaten anything; maybe the alcohol was hitting him and making him drunk.

She asked again, “Aren’t you cold with your jacket open?”

Bai Wenfu’s tone had a lazy carelessness: “Give me your hand.”

Ye Yun didn’t understand and stretched out her hand. Bai Wenfu placed it on his chest. The burning heat immediately spread to Ye Yun’s fingertips, along with the firm strength of his muscles.

Ye Yun’s breathing quickened. She heard him say, “How can I say what to you? Your heart is your own. Whether you think of someone or not, that’s your freedom.”

Ye Yun thought he was drunk. She tried to pull her hand away, but Bai Wenfu held her wrist down so she couldn’t move.

“Why are your hands so cold?”

After saying that, he let go, got up, and gave her the roasted sweet potato to warm her hands.

...

“Your heart is your own. Whether you think of someone or not, that’s your freedom.”

When Bai Wenfu said this, Ye Yun didn’t think much of it. But lying in bed that night, the words pierced her consciousness and stirred ripples in her chest.

Facing Wen Bin’s death, she had grieved for a while. But she could not cry all day like Tong Mingfang, nor could she pretend to have a deep loving relationship. So Ye Yun harbored a sense of guilt that she couldn’t share with others.

Yet Bai Wenfu’s words transcended worldly views and gave her the key to an unconventional emotional freedom. They dropped a tempting bait that led her thoughts to wander on the edge of societal norms—bold, subtle, thrilling, yet dangerous.

Ye Yun couldn’t deeply contemplate Bai Wenfu’s words; subconsciously, she resisted understanding the deeper meaning behind them.

......

On the morning of the third day of the Lunar New Year, Ye Yun was awakened by the sound of firecrackers. After getting up with nothing to do, she poured the peanuts she had placed in the corner of the room onto the table and started shelling them.

When Bai Wenfu pushed open the door and came out, she glanced at him but didn’t call him “Big Brother” as usual. Instead, she quickly lowered her head and continued shelling peanuts.

Bai Wenfu went out, then returned after a while, sat down beside Ye Yun, and also began shelling peanuts.

Outside, firecrackers occasionally exploded, sudden and startling. Inside, the two of them faced each other silently — quiet but harmonious.

Ye Yun’s peripheral vision caught Bai Wenfu’s fingertips; with just two fingers, he easily cracked the peanut shells and had shelled a large bowlful much faster than her.

Maybe because he was sober now, he had put away last night’s recklessness and spoke to Ye Yun: “My friends invited me to play cards this afternoon.”

During the New Year, there were only a few forms of entertainment — gatherings for some lively fun. Usually, Wenbin and Tong Mingfang would go to their maternal uncle’s house, and Bai Wenfu wouldn’t stay home alone.

This year was different; there was one more person in the house.

Ye Yun lowered her head and replied with a soft “Hmm.”

“And you?”

“I’ll just stay home.”

Bai Wenfu stopped shelling, and the snapping of peanut shells ceased, making the room even quieter.

Suddenly, he asked, “Do you want me to go?”

It was such a casual question, but Ye Yun’s heart inexplicably quickened.

He didn’t urge her, just looked at her, waiting for an answer.

Her eyes blinked lightly, her lips pressed tight; after finishing a handful of peanuts, she replied, “You go then. There’s nothing much to do at home anyway.”

Bai Wenfu suddenly laughed, a trace of meaning lingering at the corners of his thin eyes: “I’m not going.”

Ye Yun looked up in confusion. “I didn’t say you couldn’t go.”

The smile in Bai Wenfu’s eyes didn’t fade: “What you say isn’t what counts; I only look at what your face says.”

Embarrassed, Ye Yun picked up the bowl and turned to leave.

Not long after, she came back and said, “Or, I’ll treat you to a movie.”

Bai Wenfu’s gaze swept over her face: “Are you sure?”

Seeing Bai Wenfu’s expression, Ye Yun’s certainty wavered.

She tentatively asked, “Is it expensive?”

What Ye Yun wasn’t sure about was whether she could afford the ticket price, but Bai Wenfu obviously wasn’t considering that.

Having been in the city for a while, Ye Yun knew a bit about new things. She’d often heard people talk about movie theaters and wanted to see one but lacked the courage to go alone. Today, having nothing to do, she thought of inviting Bai Wenfu along since he probably knew the way.

Seeing her enthusiasm, Bai Wenfu didn’t say much and took her there in the afternoon.

There was a long line at the cinema entrance. Although the movie “Lushan Love” had been released before, it was brought back for screening during the New Year because of its popularity and loved by many young people.

Before buying tickets, Bai Wenfu asked Ye Yun again, “Are you sure you want to watch this one?”

“We’re already here. Don’t you want to watch it?”

Bai Wenfu smiled faintly but didn’t reply.

Ye Yun clenched the money in her hand. When they reached the ticket window, Bai Wenfu stepped forward and bought the tickets.

Ye Yun hurriedly said, “We agreed I’d pay. You treated me to chicken yesterday.”

Bai Wenfu turned and handed her the tickets: “The rule for this movie is, men buy the tickets.”

Ye Yun took the tickets: “Is there really such a rule?”

Once inside the cinema, Ye Yun sensed something unusual. Many couples or lovers came to watch this movie, so walking together with Bai Wenfu felt a little awkward.

Fortunately, the cinema was dim, and after finding their seats, their figures blended into the audience.

As the film started, the naive and fluttering love between the man and woman was brought to the big screen. The collision of different identities and thought backgrounds deeply moved Ye Yun. The complexity of love displayed by the characters made her emotions fluctuate intensely.

From the moment the male and female leads met, Ye Yun clenched her hands tightly. In her eyes, this open depiction of romantic feelings, usually taboo to discuss, made her blood boil.

When the female lead, dressed in a white shirt, shyly asked the male lead, “Can’t you be more proactive?” Ye Yun’s cheeks flushed deeply. Sitting next to her big brother and watching such a movie was like being put on a hot stove and grilled back and forth. The embarrassment and shyness made every second feel torturous, yet she couldn’t stop watching. This contradictory feeling even made sweat bead at the tip of her nose.

What surprised Ye Yun even more was that after this line, the female lead boldly kissed the male lead. The cinema erupted in a stir. The shaky camera seemed to immerse viewers in the leads’ emotions, making Ye Yun blush and feel dizzy.

She never expected such scenes to be shown on the big screen for public viewing; it was beyond what she could accept.

Bai Wenfu obviously knew such scenes would appear in the movie. This was the first kissing scene in the history of domestic film, widely discussed since its release. Though Ye Yun hadn’t encountered this information, Bai Wenfu, who ran around a lot, knew some. Compared to Ye Yun’s surprise, he was relatively calm.

Ye Yun avoided his gaze and looked at Bai Wenfu unprepared. He was still leaning back in his seat, expressionless. When Ye Yun looked at him, he turned his eyes away. His dark pupils, dimly lit by the cinema’s low light, seemed hauntingly intoxicating. Ye Yun’s mind went blank, and her heart felt like it was being gnawed by countless little bugs.

Bai Wenfu shifted his body and asked her, “Is it good?”

Ye Yun no longer dared to look at him, her heart pounding so loudly she thought it might burst out of her chest.

On the way back, she finally understood why Bai Wenfu kept asking if she was really sure about going to the movies. If she had known it was a romance film, she wouldn’t have suggested going to the cinema at all.

When they returned to the apartment block, Ye Yun’s face was still flushed with heat that hadn’t faded.

The sun was half set, the evening glow shimmering on the orchid-patterned brocade satin. The smooth fabric was delicate and bright, and paired with Ye Yun’s slightly reddened face, it made her look even more charming.

Li Yan, sourly, said across the corridor to Lü Ping, “Oh, the Bai family really treats that girl well, turning this country bumpkin into a young lady. Clothes make the man — or in this case, the lady. Look at her outfit, who would guess she came from the countryside? Jealous, aren’t you?”

She deliberately dragged out the last few words, while Lü Ping turned her gaze coldly toward her and said, “Yeah, the same fabric looks like a lady on some people, but on others it looks like a maid’s.”

Li Yan was furious and shot back, “Who are you insulting?”

Lü Ping flicked her braid and turned away, “Those who feel guilty will take it to heart.”

…

After dusk, Ye Yun saw Lü Ping sitting outside her door in the corridor. She smiled at her but didn’t intend to stop. Unexpectedly, Lü Ping called out to her and then ran upstairs.

Once inside, Lü Ping’s eyes immediately landed on Ye Yun’s clothes, making Ye Yun awkwardly turn her head away.

Lü Ping smiled and said, “I saw this afternoon you came back with Wen Bin, big brother. Where did you two go?”

Ye Yun didn’t look directly at her and only replied, “Went out to handle some things.”

Lü Ping reached out and touched the fabric on her sleeve, “This dress…”

Ye Yun explained, “That was a misunderstanding before. I got it wrong.”

Lü Ping then looked down at Ye Yun’s boots, “New shoes too, huh? Not like Aunt Tong’s taste at all.”

Ye Yun fixed her gaze tightly on Lü Ping.

Still smiling, Lü Ping deliberately leaned closer to Ye Yun and said, “Don’t tell me you and Wen Bin, big brother…”

“No way!” Ye Yun glared, serious.

Lü Ping burst out laughing, “Why so nervous? I won’t go spreading rumors or anything.”

She walked beside Ye Yun, hands resting on the railing, glancing indifferently downstairs, “You see, the people living here have been neighbors for decades, always seeing each other up and down. If something happens to someone, it’s bound to get talked about. Don’t underestimate these gossipy mouths. If someone is talked about too much, everyone comes to step on them, picking on them. I’m not trying to scare you.”

Ye Yun frowned more and more. Lü Ping turned and grabbed her hand, patting the back of it, “I’m just warning you out of kindness. After all, Wen Bin, big brother, is your elder brother-in-law. You should be careful. What if someone really gets hold of some gossip? What would you do then?”

Ye Yun quickly lowered her eyes and replied, “I know.”

…

That night, Ye Yun didn’t come out for dinner, saying she wasn’t hungry and would eat later. She only came out after Bai Wenfu returned to his room. Since he knew she had watched a romance film and was too shy to be seen, and because she was shy by nature, he let it go.

But in the days that followed, Ye Yun mostly avoided eating with him. Even when they met, they avoided eye contact and went back to calling him “big brother” politely and distantly, trying to avoid each other as much as possible.

Even Tong Mingfang noticed something was off. Before, Ye Yun was always polite to the eldest brother — she would ask about big or small matters like serving rice, folding clothes, tidying up the house, and chat with him a bit.

This time when she returned from her family home, Tong Mingfang noticed Ye Yun wouldn’t talk to the eldest brother anymore. Once, she saw Ye Yun push open the door, see the eldest brother sitting at the table, then close the door again.

Tong Mingfang couldn’t help but ask Bai Wenfu, “Are you having a fight with Ye Yun?”

Bai Wenfu replied cluelessly, “Why would I fight with her?”

Tong Mingfang thought it over — the eldest brother wouldn’t quarrel with Ye Yun, and Ye Yun’s personality wasn’t one to get angry at people.

Recently, when Bai Wenfu talked to Ye Yun, she would reply but not like before, chatting a few times now and then. Even when she responded, it was brief, without eye contact, and sometimes she would find an excuse to leave.

After the little New Year, the apartment block returned to its usual bustling state. The scent of spring emerged, carrying the fragrance of earth and flowers.

In the afternoon, Ye Yun went with Lü Ping to visit her colleague’s home. Lü Ping’s female colleague lived in a bungalow with a backyard full of camellias, pale red and bright purple, beautifully shaped. Lü Ping’s colleague picked a full bloom flower for each girl. Ye Yun’s was a light purple camellia.

Later, they said they were going to the dance hall. Seeing that it was getting late, Ye Yun didn’t go with them and returned home alone.

Near the stairs, she saw Bai Wenfu riding back on his bike from afar. To avoid running into him in the stairwell, she deliberately slowed her pace. After seeing him walk into the hallway, she waited a moment and then hurried back upstairs.

She held the camellia branch, stepping briskly into the hallway, when Bai Wenfu was sitting on the steps watching her. The stubbornness in his brows and eyes held a mesmerizing strength that pinned Ye Yun to the spot.

Her steps suddenly stopped, her expression stunned. Bai Wenfu stood up and walked toward her. His upright posture exuded an unshakable aura that rooted Ye Yun in place.

“Did I make you unhappy?”

Ye Yun hurriedly lowered her head, muffling her voice, “No.”

“Or do you still think I was reckless taking you to that movie?”

“No…”

The movie’s scenes she no longer wanted to recall flashed quickly through her mind. Her breathing was erratic, her cheeks burning again. She hurriedly said, “I’m going upstairs first.”

Bai Wenfu held her shoulder, bending down to force her to look at him, his deep voice still ringing in her ear, “What are you running away from?”