Extra #9: Nian Tao

When did Luan Nian start wanting to become a father? Perhaps it was when Chen Kuannian’s grandson began posting daily pictures of his child in the group chat—pictures that were undeniably cute.

Luan Nian had never given much thought to children before. He used to think being single and childless was ideal—freedom without responsibility. But now, his perspective had shifted. Sometimes, when he opened his eyes and saw Shang Zhitao’s peaceful sleeping face, he thought having a child might not be such a bad idea.

He decided to have a serious conversation with Shang Zhitao.

After an intense and passionate session at the table, while their bodies still lingered with warmth and languor, Luan Nian asked her, “What do you think about having a child?”

Shang Zhitao looked at him in shock. “Is that why you quit smoking and drinking?”

“I did it to live to be a hundred,” Luan Nian joked.

Shang Zhitao sat up and looked at him seriously.

“But first, we should be responsible parents,” she said earnestly.

“You can’t even cook. Being a good mother would definitely be a stretch for you,” Luan Nian teased. Seeing her grow flustered, he added lazily, “But I can cook. I’ll make up for your shortcomings.”

Shang Zhitao was utterly exasperated by Luan Nian. She kicked out at him, but he caught her ankle. “Shall we start now?”

“What?”

“Making a baby.”

Luan Nian pulled her into his lap, and the two of them sat facing each other on the sofa. Outside, the heavy rain lashed against the windows, stirring Shang Zhitao’s heart into chaos.

“I won’t allow my child to grow up in an incomplete family. I won’t allow her parents to not love each other, or to not love her…” Shang Zhitao said softly.

“So? Are you planning to divorce me? Don’t even dream about it, Shang Zhitao.” Luan Nian’s hand moved to the back of her head, pulling her closer to him. “Try leaving me once.”

“No, I…”

Before she could finish, Luan Nian silenced her with a kiss, unusually gentle this time. His lips pressed against hers, his tongue exploring briefly before retreating, brushing lightly over the corner of her mouth. “You know me—I only fail at things I don’t want to do.”

His hand slid under her T-shirt, and Shang Zhitao collapsed into his arms, softly exhaling one word: “Okay.”

She clung tightly to his neck, feeling him slowly merge with her, then suddenly thrust deeper.

This was the first time they hadn’t used protection. Shang Zhitao had once discussed it with Lumi—how someone as reckless as Luan Nian always insisted on precautions. This new intimacy felt strange, as if they were closer than ever before, with no gaps left between them.

Both of them were filled with an extra surge of passion, though neither could explain why. At one point, they slipped off the sofa onto the floor, and that moment nearly took Shang Zhitao’s breath away. She let out a soft moan, as if something had stolen her ability to breathe.

Their lovemaking mirrored the rain outside—sometimes fierce, sometimes tender. Luan Nian’s dark, gleaming eyes locked onto hers in the dim light. Whenever he noticed her frowning or heard her voice change, he would ask, “Do you like this? Hmm?”

He was exploring her.

He was consumed with the desire to explore every part of Shang Zhitao. He couldn’t stand being in the same space with her without doing anything—he loved being able to act on his impulses like this. He despised routine in their intimate moments; his creativity drove him to constantly try new things. He was confident that even in his sixties or seventies, he could still be as passionate as a young man with Shang Zhitao. It might not be as intense by then, but the fire in his heart would remain.

Shang Zhitao surrendered herself completely to him, trusting him implicitly. But this was taking longer than expected.

So this is what trying to conceive feels like, she thought.

They continued until the sky outside was pitch black.

The rain was still falling, and Shang Zhitao found a wall to do a handstand against.

“What are you doing?” Luan Nian asked, confused.

“They say this position helps.”

“Are you insane? Do you really need to do a handstand?” Luan Nian pulled her down. “What kind of nonsense is filling your head?”

He scolded her harshly, but halfway through, he couldn’t help but laugh. He ruffled her hair affectionately and muttered, “You’re something else.”

Then he got up to prepare something for both her and Luke to eat.

That’s how it was when they were together. When apart, everything felt different.

Luan Nian caught the early Tuesday morning flight. It was still dark when he left. Shang Zhitao was still asleep, so he kissed her cheek, feeling a pang of reluctance to leave her.

Shang Zhitao held onto his hand and murmured, “Be careful.”

“Okay.”

“Come back soon.” She pulled his hand to her face, and Luan Nian’s heart softened. “Okay.”

Upon arriving in Beijing, he went straight to the office. In the hallway, he noticed Lumi’s slightly protruding belly. “Are you pregnant?”

Lumi raised an eyebrow at him. “What do you think? Does it bother you that I’m ahead of you?”

Luan Nian smirked and shrugged, wanting to tease her but remembering her close relationship with Shang Zhitao. Instead, he gave her a rare smile. “Have you been in touch with Flora lately?”