Chapter 46

But When Immersed in Long-Lost Love, People Are So Happy

The wrapping paper had scattered across the floor, and there was a thick layer of it. By now, everyone’s enthusiasm had waned. No one could focus on one thing for too long.

It was halftime, and people went outside to smoke. Inside, the ones who had drunk were red-faced.

The girls all gathered around the handsome boys, and Diao Zhiyu was no exception. The man who looked like he walked out of a comic book had no reason not to be surrounded by girls in real life.

He held the instruction manual, the bandages accentuating his masculinity. His gaze, pretending to be casual, looked toward Hu Xiu, his smile freezing for a moment.

Li Ai had decided to be the last person to pick a gift. He sat on a high stool, leaning against the cashier counter. Not far away, Xu Meng, with her red cheeks from drinking, was staring at him.

Zhao Xiaorou, clearly in a bad mood, had already set aside the tea set. Li Ai, busy chatting with the group while drinking, ignored her, making her wish she could leave immediately. It was nothing more than waiting to see whose hands would claim her and Li Ai’s gifts.

As for Hu Xiu, her gift had been taken by Pei Zhen. She comforted herself a little with the thought that if she got Diao Zhiyu’s gift next, it wouldn’t be such a regret.

She was so nervous that she didn’t even dare go to the bathroom, afraid she’d miss Diao Zhiyu’s gift during those two minutes.

Zhao Xiaorou leaned close to Hu Xiu: “I know what Li Ai’s gift is. It’s a miniature model of a room he designed that won an award. He had two made, one for his wife to keep, and the other he’s giving to a friend.”

“Then why didn’t you get it?”

“Who knows? My luck is too bad. Why did the tea set have to be in a square box? Garbage. If Xu Meng had gotten it, I probably would’ve passed out on the spot.”

He finished speaking and turned to leave. Pei Zhen was typing on his phone nonstop, laughing as he replied while watching everyone open their gifts. When he saw Hu Xiu raise her head and look at him, he felt a little embarrassed. “It’s rare for me to take a day off. I reminded Old Jin to take care of the interns.”

“Your students will have their New Year soon, especially with the ‘fierce’ demon not around.”

“I’m just worried they’ll cause some trouble. I’ll probably have to rush back after midnight.”

“Such a Cinderella,” she joked, but Hu Xiu understood that this was a workaholic making an exception for himself.

He put his phone away after replying, “I won’t touch my phone next. Let’s see what my gift is.”

There were still a dozen gifts left. Except for Hu Xiu’s, all the others had been opened, and it was now the final round, the “arena” of gift unwrapping.

Several boxes were opened in quick succession: Gucci sunglasses, tents, board game sets, handheld gimbals...

Hu Xiu felt anxious. Only a few gifts remained, and she couldn’t help but hope that the one from Diao Zhi Yu was still there, waiting for her.

It felt as if fate would give her the answer. The piano melody in her chest was tumbling, the climax of this year’s urban drama for the young people of 2018 seemed to be waiting to unfold, perhaps for her.

“Xu Meng, go ahead.”

She took off her red coat, revealing a floral dress underneath. Xu Meng had black curly hair, no makeup, and her pupils were especially dark. Her fingers, slightly mismatched with her graceful features, showed signs of her years of hard work with children. Even her hands, which had touched water, were no longer delicate.

She opened her gift halfway, looked up in surprise, and Li Ai seemed to silently acknowledge her, giving a rare childlike smile.

Someone nearby teased, “Wow, you got that big gift. This is fate—why don’t you two just get together right here?”

It was a miniature model of a building that had won the Pei Yuming Award back in 2013, created by Li Ai and his wife. There were only two copies in the world.

Later, they both left their team to work on interior design. At one point, someone had asked about buying it, but Li Ai and his wife had politely declined.

One of the models was later sent back to the wife’s hometown with her ashes, and the other Li Ai kept with him. Now, giving it away to someone else seemed to be just another collectible.

But to his friends, it symbolized the start of Li Ai saying goodbye to his past relationship.

It seemed that, like REGARD, it had been shattered and rebuilt. Some parts of the past had been destroyed, while new things were being reborn.

It sounded like Li Ai was using his late wife’s possessions as gifts, but the people present didn’t think of it that way. Urban friends, who understood Li Ai’s extraordinary talent, knew how deeply he loved. They saw his ambition for his career, but also his longing for a simple, peaceful life. This gift was his way of telling everyone that he was learning to move on.

Zhao Xiaorou didn’t get this gift, and Hu Xiu understood that she was the most disappointed person in the room.

Xu Meng held the model calmly, with a slight awkwardness, “Oh my, this is so precious. I don’t even know how to accept it.”

“It’s your gift. You can arrange it however you like.”

“Well, I might put it in the store. Everyone who comes in for coffee can appreciate it. Although I’d love to keep it for myself. After all, this is one of the few lucky things in my life.”

As she said this, Zhao Xiaorou’s expression twisted with jealousy, “If you don’t want it, I’ll take it.”

“Okay, putting it in the store is a good idea. I agree.” Xu Meng swiftly claimed the decision for where the model would go.

Zhao Xiaorou went out to smoke, leaving Hu Xiu standing awkwardly. Pei Zhen leaned into her ear and said, “Xu Meng came to the hospital recently with her son. It seemed like acute gastroenteritis. She’s been fighting with her husband and is living separately, taking turns with the kid.”

“Li Ai even called me, asking for help to get her medical treatment—this situation is a bit complicated.”

Xu Meng couldn’t take the gift home because the house they worked so hard to buy in the school district still had a husband who hadn’t divorced and most likely wouldn’t.

Adults find it hard to define right and wrong easily, and blurred boundaries in relationships are a situation that those who openly despise them often secretly envy.

If Li Ai rejected Zhao Xiaorou because of Xu Meng, Hu Xiu would also feel that Li Ai was beneath her.

It dawned on Hu Xiu that Li Ai’s affection for Xu Meng stemmed from the fact that there was no real outcome.

The two of them had seen each other in their darkest times, instinctively drawing closer, recognizing each other’s scars, finding solace in the night.

And if one day the light of dawn came, Xu Meng would be like morning dew, disappearing once the sunlight touched her. Li Ai had no real hope of having her, and so there would be no guilt in desiring her.

If that was the case, what did Xu Meng consider Li Ai? As Xu Meng’s prepared hand-pour kettle was taken by a foreign stranger, she sighed and exchanged a look with Li Ai, who gave her a wistful smile. Their gazes met, and Hu Xiu felt a tremor in her heart.

The eyes that had once seemed forever calm now sparkled when secretly watching Li Ai, lively and radiant. Love that could never be had, but when immersed in a long-lost romance, women were always so happy.

Without realizing, she found herself looking at Diao Zhi Yu, who was drinking in the corner. When their gazes met, she could tell he was drunk, but he was staring directly at her.

At that moment, she stood beside Pei Zhen, the space filled with Christmas music, packaging paper scattered all over the room, young people holding gifts and drinking, and the emotional farewell to a relationship that had never quite been sorted out.

A special boy, dressed in black from head to toe in a Yohji Yamamoto outfit with a lip ring, picked up the remaining gift boxes.

His expression remained unchanged as he opened the gift, but Zhao Xiaorou’s anger flared, “What’s the meaning of this? If you don’t like it, just don’t take it.”

“This isn’t something I can use,” the box contained fitness bands, a rehabilitation ball, sweat beads, ointment for bruises, and a brand-new sports outfit.

Zhao Xiaorou hadn’t considered giving the gift to anyone else. She had expected Li Ai to remember her gift and choose it first, or for him to purposely swap it.

When the atmosphere grew awkward, Li Ai intervened in time: “How about we switch? I’ll give you my sculpture, you can have it. I really need your gift.”

“No need, I’ll give it all to you. I really want that black shirt you had earlier. If we’re going to trade, I’ll take the shirt.”

The game was interrupted rather suddenly. Pei Zhen still held the gift in his hand, and if he didn’t give it to this junior, it would seem inconsiderate.

Before Pei Zhen could speak, Zhao Xiaorou took the initiative: “It’s all about fate. Whoever gets a gift today, no one is allowed to swap. If this is destiny, then we have to accept it. I, Zhao Xiaorou, will admit my bad luck today.

As adults, we follow the game rules. If you don’t want your gift, sell it on a second-hand platform, but today you must take it home.”

The boy with the lip ring shrugged, as if not wanting to argue with his elder sister. Someone raised the music to break the awkwardness: “Only two gifts left, who hasn’t opened theirs?”

Hu Xiu glanced around, and after waiting, only she and Li Ai remained. It seemed that after so long of people recognizing gifts, there were two names that hadn’t been called yet—

The last two gifts were from Pei Zhen and Diao Zhi Yu.

Those who had already opened their gifts weren’t particularly concerned with the outcome, and to Hu Xiu, it seemed that this really was the moment reserved for the protagonist.

Behind her, Diao Zhi Yu also stood up and walked to the front, hands in the pockets of his jeans, coldly looking at Hu Xiu; Pei Zhen beside her seemed to swallow nervously, his smile full of tension. Li Ai, smiling, said: “I’m giving you a chance to make a choice, I’ll wait until the very last to make my move.”

One on the left, one on the right, one black, one white—seemingly obvious, and the probability of being right was 50%.

After nearly two hours of guessing the boxes, Hu Xiu had grown tired, still unable to figure out what was inside.

She believed she knew Diao Zhi Yu well, but when facing the wrapping paper, she still had no idea.

A good actor, a boy who wasn’t overly attentive but still observant, had a charming air of keeping his thoughts hidden. He had rejected her from afar, each reason pulling her in different directions.

Walking through the dark forest, no matter how much she thought, the ups and downs felt like constant stumbles.

The other option offered her endless safety and heartfelt sincerity—she hadn’t seen it up close or intended to understand it more, but it was like an island shining brightly in everyone’s heart.

The neon from the neighboring store flickered outside the glass, like fireflies in the forest; inside the mirror, the blue curtain billowed with the air conditioning, its gentle blue waves like soft water.

As Hu Xiu walked over, there was a sense of tragic determination. She bent down three steps, as if facing a life-altering choice. Thinking too much was useless, she handed it over to fate.

She subconsciously picked up the black box.

Behind her, Pei Zhen turned in circles, his heart filled with joy.

Only then did she realize in her mind that Qin Xiao Yi’s official costume was a white suit.

Diao Zhi Yu smiled bitterly: “Li Ai, you really made it to the end.”

“Then I won’t be polite. Honestly, none of you would have been wrong.”

Hu Xiu and Li Ai opened their gifts together. Pei Zhen’s was a handbag, and indeed, her bag’s edges were worn out, the strap torn and nearly ready to break. Diao Zhi Yu’s gift was a complete album set of Utada Hikaru, including all her Japanese editions from her debut until now, along with a newly published lyric book from the end of the year—

She had once casually mentioned she was a fan of Utada Hikaru, but due to a lack of pocket money, she could only buy the imported versions, and when they moved, her father had thrown them away.

Both gifts left Hu Xiu stunned. Li Ai continued to smooth things over: “Pei Zhen’s gift I honestly won’t use. Collecting this set of albums isn’t easy either, the singles collection has been around for at least ten years.”

“Not bad…” Diao Zhi Yu said less and less, rubbing his nose and putting his hands in his pockets, his expression unreadable.

Someone came over to clean up the wrapping paper, and Pei Zhen pulled her to a corner. Hu Xiu glanced at Zhao Xiaorou, who pursed her lips at her, wordlessly.

Xu Meng walked over to Li Ai: “I have to leave soon. Tomorrow, I’ll be with the kids.”

“I’ll take you…”

“No need, you stay and accompany them. Someone will have to clean up this mess.”

“It’s fine, we’re probably not open until 3 PM tomorrow.” Li Ai looked at her, regretfully saying: “I really wish you could stay and ring in the new year together.”

“Someone will be unhappy.” She was referring to Zhao Xiaorou.

Li Ai smiled weakly: “She doesn’t need me.”

In the distance, Zhao Xiaorou had already started drinking with the young boy. The rebellious boy with the lip ring sat on the table, playing rock-paper-scissors and arm wrestling with Zhao Xiaorou, their movements very intimate.

Zhao Xiaorou’s voice was loud, intentionally making sure others could hear: “Such a shameless guy, when someone’s harsh with you, you think they have some interest, don’t you have to be hit before you listen? High school kids should go home on time.”

“No one’s home to care for me.” The boy set up the board for the table game: “My parents probably don’t even remember they had me. They probably wish I would just die already so they wouldn’t have to worry about me.”

This left Zhao Xiaorou stunned. She looked at the boy with sympathy and spoke: “If you have nowhere else to go, you can come home with me.”

“Buy me? I’m expensive...”

“You little...!” Zhao Xiaorou hit his head a few times: “You little brat, I’m warning you, don’t try this on me. Not even eighteen and talking like that? Believe it or not, I’ll send you to a juvenile detention center?”

The boy with the lip ring sucked in a breath: “I was just joking. You really are like a mom, your overflowing maternal love is kind of annoying. But— I don’t have a mom, I could give it a try.”

This exchange was overheard by everyone in the room, including Li Ai. Hu Xiu helped clean up and went out the door; the roast chicken also needed to be reheated in the oven.

Bending over to put the chicken in the oven, she needed to check with Li Ai whether there was enough red wine in five minutes.

When she stood up, Hu Xiu bumped into someone, their muscles and frame solid, as if her internal organs had shifted from the impact. The scent was familiar—it was Diao Zhi Yu.

For a moment, both were uncomfortable, neither spoke. In the cramped space, Hu Xiu pressed against the wall, Diao Zhi Yu lifted a kitchen towel, like a wall slam.

Their breaths were close, and Hu Xiu waited for him to take the towel and leave. But Diao Zhi Yu, holding the towel, showed no intention of leaving. The light from the oven was dim, and they stood very close, the meaning unclear.

The kitchen towel in Diao Zhi Yu’s hand spun a few times, and that was the only distance between them.

After just a few moments, the rolled-up paper was dropped by trembling fingers. It fell to the ground with a thud, and the two of them locked eyes. Hu Xiu felt something had changed.

His gaze, once mostly exploratory, teasing, and playful—like two high school desk mates—now seemed deliberately evasive, yet unable to stop wanting to get closer. There was an added layer of adult danger between them now, a sensation that Hu Xiu recognized: it was desire.

They had both been drinking, they were both adults, the lights were dim, and things could easily become unclear. There was nothing that couldn’t happen.

They both seemed to make sure their breaths were audible to the other, one with heavy, controlled breaths, the other with soft, restrained exhalations.

Rejection was a wonderful thing, quickly arousing another layer of forbidden temptation.

The oven beeped. “You go out first,” said Diao Zhi Yu. “I’ll take it out; it’s hot.”

Another rejection…

As she came out, Zhao Xiaorou shouted at her, “Hu Xiu, why is your face so red? This game is so fun, look at the phone, come and see!”

Diao Zhi Yu came out holding the roasted chicken. Zhao Xiaorou, understanding, deliberately blocked Pei Zhen’s line of sight. “Doctor Pei, you look like a killer!”

“How could that be? This is too difficult, I’m really not good at lying.”

“Hurry, the countdown is on, thirty seconds.” Someone reminded the time. Hu Xiu touched the expensive gift she had in hand, feeling more and more indebted to Pei Zhen.

After the countdown, Pei Zhen had to leave for the hospital. Hu Xiu felt some disappointment, not without regret. If Diao Zhi Yu weren’t here, would everything be different?

“Five, four, three, two, one—Merry Christmas!”

Confetti cannons exploded around her, and Hu Xiu jumped, throwing her bag aside. Pei Zhen caught her, and the falling streamers floated down around them. Time seemed to slow.

Pei Zhen, without a care for the expensive gift on the floor, excitedly embraced her. Maybe it was time to rewrite the script.

Hu Xiu thought, there is no such thing as perfect timing, but right now, at this very moment, she and Pei Zhen had been pushed to the most perfect timing.

“I have to leave. My flight to the U.S. is on January 17.” Amidst the cheers, Pei Zhen whispered in her ear, “I won’t be able to see you for the next three months, just thinking about it makes me sad.”

She looked over her shoulder toward Diao Zhi Yu. Pei Zhen’s words couldn’t be heard by him; his eyes were distant and indifferent, pulling her under the weight of his gaze.

Pei Zhen continued, “I was going to give up. You didn’t become brilliant because of me.

But I haven’t liked a girl like this in a long time.

Recently... I feel like I have to try again. No one would back down in front of the person they truly like.

Don’t treat me like your superior, your colleague, don’t think of me as a good choice in the eyes of elders. I’m not that great.

Just think of me as a man—Pei Zhen, will you, in the time we have left, spend more time getting to know me?”

Love, then break up, the only wish is that this is the last heartbreak.

Even if the same experience is repeated over and over, people still keep searching because love is the most wonderful thing in the world.

Overcoming the pain that hasn’t healed, Hu Xiu closed her eyes and nodded, choked up without shedding tears. Perhaps she wouldn’t cry again.

Even if it wasn’t for loneliness, God, forgive my selfishness. I just want to be loved seriously by someone.