Chapter 78: The Kitten (5)

It was difficult for Qi Ying to describe the emotions stirred by that single glance.

Throughout his life, Qi Ying had encountered countless expressions of admiration from women—many more overt and flamboyant than this young girl’s. Yet, none had ever caused a ripple in his heart. At most, he felt exasperated or burdened, as with Xiao Ziyu or Princess Zhao Yao. Their affections brought him no joy, only an inevitable sense of weariness.

But in that fleeting moment, when he met Shen Xiqing’s gaze, something shifted. The same sensation he had felt upon hearing his grandmother’s explanation about her feelings returned, stronger than before. He felt uneasy, as though his heart were being gently scratched by a kitten—a subtle, indescribable feeling.

Even more troubling was the tenderness it evoked within him.

She had always been able to make him ache.

From the first time he saw her, sitting in the snow at the city gates, covered in flakes, her eyes filled with emptiness and exhaustion. He knew she longed to be saved, but perhaps the trials she endured made her too afraid to ask for help. She hesitated, holding back, as if unsure whether to speak.

That hesitation—he understood it well.

When his father and uncles insisted on decisions he deemed unwise, when debates raged fiercely in the Ministry of Military Affairs, or when the emperor’s probing gaze sought answers from him, Qi Ying often found himself holding back. His silence wasn’t due to a lack of words but rather the knowledge that speaking would be futile. It was exhausting.

When he first met her, she was just eleven—so young, yet already carrying that restrained, weary, bitter look.

It stirred his pity immediately.

He saved her partly because of her father’s plea, but also for other reasons. He understood her, and over time, he realized this precocious child seemed to understand him as well.

It was a strange connection.

Later, he kept her at Fenghe Garden.

Throughout his life, he had extended favors to others, only to find their gratitude tainted by greed—those who sought more after receiving one kindness repeatedly irritated him. He hadn’t expected Shen Qian’s daughter to be any different, given her father’s reputation for greed and immorality.

But she was different.

She never sought anything—not out of pretense but because her heart was pure. Even when he treated her kindly, she adhered strictly to what she believed was proper. Despite his growing affection for her, she remained humble, never exploiting his compassion. She cherished every small kindness shown to her.

This was who she was—a clean, untainted soul.

Perhaps she harbored some foolish notions, believing all she received was undeserved, which explained her restrained and evasive demeanor. This only deepened his fondness for her. He admired her maturity, though sometimes it pained him—people who are too mature often endure much hardship.

Now, she looked at him with that same gaze.

Admiration, longing—but above all, restraint, patience, and a faint bitterness she seemed to have accepted as normal.

He couldn’t bear it.

He had planned to speak openly with her, helping her distinguish between romantic love and familial affection. If she struggled to understand, he would gradually distance himself, allowing her feelings to fade. But that single glance shattered his carefully laid plans. Once again, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt her, unable to utter words that might upset her.

He shouldn’t have softened.

He had grown up alongside Xiao Ziyu, sharing years of history, yet he never felt such tenderness toward her. His tolerance stemmed from respect for her status. With Shen Xiqing, however, it was genuine. Thinking of how his words might secretly sadden her made them impossible to say.

Perhaps he should wait…

Wait until she grew older… or happier… before broaching the subject.

Qi Ying sighed silently, then retrieved a small box from his sleeve and offered it to Shen Xiqing.

Shen Xiqing didn’t take it immediately, instead glancing at the box curiously. “What is this…?”

Qi Ying glanced at her, opening the box. Sitting too far to see clearly, Shen Xiqing instinctively leaned closer under the bright moonlight. Inside lay a grasshopper and a rabbit, intricately woven.

She was astonished, her surprise evident. Seeing this, Qi Ying raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Didn’t you mention wanting these before? Why so surprised now?”

Caught off guard, Shen Xiqing fell silent, her affection for him swelling uncontrollably. Struggling to compose herself, she lowered her head and murmured, “I didn’t think Master Qi would remember…”

Looking at the finely crafted items, more exquisite than anything he’d made before, her heart raced. Then she heard him say, “You rarely ask for anything from me—I naturally remembered.”

“Keep it.”

He extended the box toward her, his hand brushing closer. Since the flower-viewing gathering, she hadn’t been this near to him. For a moment, the emotions she had suppressed for over a month threatened to spill over.

Oh, how she wanted to lean into his embrace—but she couldn’t.

Fearing tears, she focused all her strength on restraining them, momentarily forgetting to accept the box. Believing she still resisted, Qi Ying hesitated, deciding not to push her. After a pause, he said, “If you don’t want this either, it’s fine. I’ll…”

Before he finished, Snowball, awakened on his lap, stretched and pawed playfully at the box.

Afraid the kitten might ruin the delicate crafts, Shen Xiqing instinctively grabbed the box from Qi Ying, clutching it protectively. Scolding the kitten, she exclaimed, “No! This isn’t for you!”

Flustered, her voice louder than intended, she quickly realized her slip and blushed deeply. Sneaking a glance at him, she saw his amused smile and felt as though she’d touched fire, hastily lowering her head again.

Seeing her tightly clutching the box, Qi Ying’s heart softened further. Lifting Snowball to avoid her embarrassment, he set aside the topic of the gift and asked instead, “So, do you still want this cat? If not, I’ll return it to His Majesty.”

Shen Xiqing blinked, surprised. “Ah? Can it really be returned?”

“Of course,” Qi Ying nodded. “It’s a tribute item, quite precious. I thought you’d like it, so I requested it from the emperor. If you don’t, it’s best to return it. I hear Princess Liu also desires it. Perhaps…”

Though fond of cats, Shen Xiqing hesitated about keeping Snowball. However, hearing Qi Ying mention Xiao Ziyu sparked jealousy. Impulsively, she declared, “N-No, I’ll keep it! Returning it wouldn’t be right. If it’s really okay, I’ll raise it…”

Her words stumbled awkwardly, but Qi Ying easily discerned her reluctance and attachment. Smiling softly, his eyes reflected affection without exposing her stubbornness. “Alright, then keep it.”

Cats need gentle handling.

Handing Snowball to Shen Xiqing, Qi Ying attempted to transfer the kitten, but Snowball protested, clinging to him. Watching this, Shen Xiqing grew jealous. Earlier, the cat had favored her; why did it change allegiance after spending mere moments on Qi Ying’s lap? Pouting slightly, she muttered, “Ungrateful little thing.”

Her tone was half-serious, half-teasing, yet tinged with envy. Qi Ying chuckled, responding ambiguously, “Yes, quite ungrateful.”

Uncertain of his meaning, Shen Xiqing pondered his double entendre. Meanwhile, Snowball, sensing its future owner remained Shen Xiqing, nestled obediently into her arms.

Forgiving the kitten, she embraced it, laughing softly as it nuzzled against her. Her expression brightened slightly.

Stealing a glance at Qi Ying, recalling his earlier ambiguous remark, she responded in kind. “I’ll take good care of Snowball. And since I’ve decided to keep it, I’ll cherish it forever, never abandoning it lightly.”

Qi Ying, sharp as ever, recognized her underlying message. Raising an eyebrow, he understood her lingering unease—her characteristic cautiousness. Though typically impatient with others, Shen Xiqing uniquely compelled him to make exceptions. Hearing her half-hinting, half-awkward words, he felt no irritation, only endearment. Smiling kindly, he nodded, matching her ambiguity. “Indeed, either don’t commit, or commit fully.”

His solemn expression rendered the statement akin to a promise.

Holding Snowball, Shen Xiqing gazed at him, her mind oscillating between his words tonight and those spoken to Princess Liu during the flower-viewing gathering. Confusion mingled with a newfound sense of peace. For the first time in two months, she felt calm.

Qi Ying observed Shen Xiqing, noting the subtle changes in her eyes. Though traces of apprehension lingered, the familiar hints of coquettishness and attachment gradually returned.

Small, tender affection.

Unconsciously, he relaxed, a soft smile surfacing. Gazing at her, he asked, “Lately, I’ve missed your steamed egg custard. Would it be convenient for you tomorrow morning?”

They hadn’t shared breakfast since their estrangement began.

Sensitive as ever, Shen Xiqing understood his question—it was an inquiry into reconciliation.

Reconciliation, in a child’s terms, was what Qi Ying sought, though his thoughts ran deeper. He cared less about labels and more about her overcoming her inner turmoil, regaining happiness, and ceasing her hesitant demeanor. Yet Shen Xiqing’s interpretation wasn’t far off—he indeed wondered if they could return to how things were.

After a pause, she didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she glanced at Snowball in her arms and the small box in her hand, mulling over his earlier promise-like statement.

Perhaps it was the serene ambiance of Wangyuan Garden, the elegant lotus pond, or the luminous moonlight. Or perhaps it was the man beside her, unusually gentle tonight.

Shen Xiqing felt her restless heart, unsettled for nearly two months, begin to calm.

Sneaking a glance at him, she pursed her lips, then nodded softly.

In that moment, she felt a sense of release.

Tomorrow would bring its challenges, and her feelings for him might eventually fade. She didn’t know when she’d face separation from him, but until then, she could remain by his side, pretending all was well. She resolved to focus on learning, growing up, and quietly cherishing this secret affection, loving him stealthily, furtively.

Until the moment she must stop.

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Author’s Note:

Volume Two is finally complete! The “raising” phase has concluded, and starting next volume, they can finally embark on their romance! (Tears of joy!) Here’s a quick recap:

1. Romance Line: Wenwen’s feelings are clear to herself—a blend of love and quasi-familial attachment, complex and profound. Qi Er’s emotional state, however, remains intentionally ambiguous. Personally, I feel his attitude toward Wenwen is unique. He’s teetering on the edge of love but restrained by morality and reality. He hasn’t yet viewed her as an adult woman, making his emotions intricate.

2. Career Plot: This volume laid groundwork without extensive development. Many threads remain unresolved, characters barely introduced. Thank you for your patience! Volume Three will delve into key plotlines: their mutual commitment, reasons for separation, political upheavals, Wenwen’s marriage to Gu Juhan, and shifts in the Southern Qi-Northern Gu relationship. Many threads to weave—pray nothing unravels!

Volume Three will move faster due to increased narrative scope (compared to Volume Two’s heavy focus on introspection and emotional flow). I aim to clarify the story without dragging it out.

Thank you for accompanying us thus far! Looking forward to Volume Three—bowing deeply.