Chapter 38

A Springtime Dream

It was like being a cold snake or a stinky wolf. Here I was, a little princess, forgetting the pain as soon as the wound healed. I had only suffered once, and I should have been terrified of my master, but the following seven days were even more unbearable for me than the previous four. Therefore, when I entered my master’s room again, I almost forgot to be respectful and jumped straight onto him.

After seven days, my master seemed to have calmed down towards me, and he no longer gave me the cold shoulder. On the contrary, there was a hint of tenderness in his eyes. After careful observation, I determined that it was because the moonlight was too soft, making my master appear too gentle.

He still spoke as he always did, neither harsh nor cold. As he untied my belt, he noticed my gaze and looked up at me.

We looked at each other for a moment, and for some reason, I felt a surge of emotion. Cautiously, I said, “Master...”

I heard him exhale deeply. He was facing me on the bed and finally turned my body over. It was a way I had never tried before, and it was much more intense than the previous times.

Before long, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I said, “Master, Master, my knees hurt, stop for a moment.”

Rarely did he listen to me, and he actually stopped.

Then, I turned back on my own and lay on the bed, covering my eyes. “Okay, okay.”

This way, we could face each other. Our clothes were intertwined, and our long hair was tangled together like silk wrapped around black satin. Although this wasn’t the first time, I was even more excited than before. He stared into my eyes, looking no different, yet so different from before.

His lips were full and attractive, more beautiful than the petals of the Dharma Flower Cherry Orchard. After just a glance, my heart raced even faster. However, I couldn’t do anything about it, and I felt that the night was too short and my worries were endless.

Afterwards, he put on his clothes and was about to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, but he abruptly withdrew his hand. I didn’t understand why, but I felt very ashamed and wanted to cry. I didn’t dare look at him anymore, and I got out of bed and ran out of the room.

I ran away for ten days. Before the treatment, my master tapped my wrist and found that there was only a faint red glow left: “Your spiritual essence has almost recovered. If you feel hot after tonight, it means your old illness has recurred, and you should come again. If everything is normal, it means you have fully recovered.”

This time, he held me in his arms while sitting on the bed. I pursed my lips tightly, only breathing heavily, in sync with him. I didn’t know whether to be happy or sad.

These intimate moments had made me fall deeper in love with my master, to the point of obsession. Thinking that this might be the last time, my mood was very complicated.

He was originally very calm, but suddenly, as if sensing something, he narrowed his eyes and said, “Wei’er.”

“Ah?” Feeling guilty, I shook my head, trying to regain my composure.

“Is this it?”

With this probe, as soon as I opened my tightly closed mouth, I made a strange sound.

I wanted to die. I turned my head to avoid his gaze, “I, I, I... I don’t know what you’re talking about...”

But he wouldn’t be fooled. Once he had determined something, he wouldn’t give up, and there was no stopping him. Strangely, after so long, it should have been over. But what was happening tonight? It was as if my master didn’t want to end it... Feeling more and more strange, I felt weak and numb. I pushed him twice, but I couldn’t push him away. Instead, he easily grabbed my wrist and prevented me from moving.

Then, my head went numb, and a white light flashed before my eyes. At the same time, that clear stream entered my body again, healing my spiritual essence, but I didn’t feel any relief. In that brief moment, it felt like my breath was cut off, and I lost control.

In this chaos, I saw my master’s lips again, and I did something terrible.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and greedily sucked on his lips. Unexpectedly, he didn’t even hesitate, and he hugged me back and kissed me passionately.

At that moment, I was so shocked that I pushed him away and fell off him, “I, I, I... I’m sorry, Master, I lost my head just now! It’s all my fault! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Then I tidied my clothes, bowed and apologized, and ran out like a frightened rabbit.

When I went back, I was so angry with myself. No words could describe my regret. Why did my master kiss me? Was it because he was carried away by the moment, or was it because he still had feelings for me? Why didn’t I stay a little longer and see his reaction? Running away because I was shy was like hitting myself with a big stick.

“But why should I apologize? Why should I say I was dizzy? Why did I run away? It’s so frustrating!”

I buried my head in the bed and didn’t want to think about anything.

The most annoying thing was that I saw my master frequently afterwards. Having been so intimate, even if it was just physically, returning to a normal master-disciple relationship was more painful than anything else in the world.

My master was still as cold as boiled water, rarely showing any emotion. And since my body had recovered, and I hadn’t told my master that I wanted to stay, I should have returned to Su Zhao. I didn’t want to leave my master, but I also didn’t want him to think that I was staying because of what happened. After a few days of conflict, although he didn’t drive me away, I also didn’t have the face to stay any longer.

On the night I had finally decided to leave, I couldn’t sleep again. The events that had happened in my master’s room kept replaying in my mind, and the feeling of kissing him made my whole body tingle. My body gradually became hotter, and the more I thought about my master, the hotter I became.

Suddenly, I remembered what he had said: “If you feel hot after tonight, it means your old illness has recurred, and you should come again.”

I pressed the back of my hand against my cheek, and it was burning hot. Oh no, could it be that my spiritual essence hadn’t fully recovered? Thankfully, I hadn’t left Tian Shi City yet. I quickly jumped out of bed and went to my master’s chamber to find him.

With his permission, I pushed open the door and went in. He looked up and saw me, startled. “Wei’er? What are you doing here so late?”

“Master, I think my old illness has recurred.” I wiped the sweat from my forehead. “I’ve been feeling very hot ever since I lay down.”

“Come here.”

I obediently walked over. He tapped my wrist, and a clear, blue light flowed through it. Then he looked puzzled, “Your spiritual essence has fully recovered, and there’s no sign of any relapse.”

“Is... is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Then maybe I was just thinking too much.” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Then I’ll go back to rest...”

Just as I turned to take a step, he grabbed my wrist. I turned around and looked at him in astonishment. His eyebrows were like mountains in the moon, and his eyes were like misty ink, rippling like a pool of autumn water. “You came here tonight, is there anything else you want to say?”

His gentle tone was so melting that I couldn’t think straight. I shook my head honestly. He was silent for a moment, as if slightly displeased, “Forget it, I think I’m thinking too much. Go back.”

“Yes...”

I turned and walked towards the door. Actually, I hated myself for being like this. I missed him when I didn’t see him, and I wanted to escape when I saw him. If I went back, I would definitely be sleepless all night and regret not saying a few more words. I gritted my teeth and turned around, kneeling in front of him, “Master...”

“Master, I like you. I want to be with you. Just say it, say it out loud.”

He picked up a cup of tea, lowered his eyes and took a sip, coldly saying, “What is it?”

“Thank you, Master, for taking care of me these days.” That’s not what I wanted to say.

“Master, if you don’t mind, please be with me. My life is short, and I won’t take up too much of your time...” Luo Wei, be bold, tell him everything you want to say.

He stirred the floating leaves with the lid of the cup and said, “No need.”

I gritted my teeth and said, “Master, I have something to say...”

Please don’t abandon me. Don’t marry the Divine Maiden. At least, not while I’m still alive. Because I can’t like anyone else anymore...

He paused for a moment, then his gaze shifted to me. “Speak.”

His gaze was so cold that it washed away the moonlight. I was so scared that I didn’t dare look directly at him. I lowered my head and trembled, “I... I... if it weren’t for you, Master, I would have died, so thank you for saving my life...”

“Enough.”

I was stunned and stared at him blankly. He said coldly, “You’ve said these words countless times, and I’m tired of hearing them. Get out.”

From my master’s chamber to my own room, I couldn’t concentrate. Shouldn’t I be feeling a little lucky that I hadn’t said anything yet, and he was already so annoyed? If I had really told him, I would probably never be able to get within ten miles of him for the rest of my life.

Isn’t this the most normal outcome? Why did I have a glimmer of hope that he might accept my confession? Was it because of the intimate moments we had shared recently? Or was it because of his unconfirmed confession ten years ago?

However, this wasn’t the worst part. The next morning, I packed my bags with the medicine my brother had prepared and was about to return to Su Zhao, but before I left, I was told that an important guest had arrived, and no one was allowed to leave Cangying Mansion. Then, I heard from others that the visitor was several people from the Divine Realm, including the Divine Maiden Qing Wu.

I had no choice but to go back to my room and put my things away, delaying my departure by one day. But on my way back, I ran into a gorgeously dressed girl.

I recognized this girl. She was Qing Wu Divine Maiden’s personal maid. I had never spoken to her, so I walked straight past her.

She reached out and stopped me, “Wait, Miss Luo Wei.”

I said, “What’s wrong?”

“I heard that you’ve been going to Divine Lord Yinze’s room a lot recently. And it’s always at night.”

“My spiritual essence was injured by the Fiery Glutton, and my master was just treating my injuries.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If you say that to the people of the Divine Realm, they might believe you. You’re a water spirit, and Divine Lord Yinze is a water god. There’s only one way to heal your spiritual essence.”

My face started to heat up, and I forced a laugh, “Sister Divine Maiden, you can’t blame me for this. It was all my master’s idea. You’re being a bit too harsh on me.”

The maid circled me twice, her eyes scanning me up and down, making me feel very uncomfortable. “Nowadays, young girls have such thick skin. At first, I thought that even though you were just a water spirit, you had the spirit of a fairy, and you would rather die than be dishonored. But it turns out that you’re no different from a water demon. You’re so casual.”

I felt wronged and said, “Sister Divine Maiden, don’t look down on me just because I’m a water spirit. I am a princess of a tribal kingdom and have a heavy responsibility to govern. I can’t die. But don’t worry, there is absolutely no ambiguous relationship between me and my master, and it won’t affect the Divine Maiden Qing Wu’s future.”

“Well, you have some self-awareness. It’s true that there’s nothing much to it. Our Divine Maiden knows that Divine Lord Yinze has a few love affairs, and you’re not the first, nor will you be the last. The Divine Maiden said she can turn a blind eye to this. It’s just that, Miss Luo Wei, you should be careful not to hurt yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Since Miss Luo Wei is so smart, you should know that Divine Lord Yinze has only slept with you a few times and is unlikely to develop any feelings for you. Men are like that. If they initially have some respect for you, but once you become promiscuous, they will no longer respect you. Especially since you chose to live rather than remain chaste. So, you should have a number in mind about how long you can stay by his side, otherwise it would be too pitiful if you don’t even have time to say goodbye.”

Just like my master said, I was a child who was always good at finding excuses. I was rarely angered, and I was very good at finding a way out. But at this moment, I was both scared and angry. I said, “You’re lying, my master likes me.”

“Oh? Suddenly you’re so confident?”

“Ten years ago, he said he wanted to marry me.”

I thought she would be shocked or angry, but she just smiled slightly, “At that time, had you slept with him? No, right? What about now? You’ve slept with him, so has he said he wants to marry you?”

I said, “He said he would take responsibility for me.”

The maid laughed, “What a gullible little girl. Just now you were saying that there was absolutely no ambiguity between you, but now you’ve spilled the beans. He said he would take responsibility for you, but has he? A man will just say anything. To see if he really means it, just look at his reaction afterwards. Does he look at you with tenderness and pity now, or with coldness and disgust?”

I couldn’t answer. She continued, “Also, does he want to be with you every day? Or does he feel restless when you stay an extra moment and want you to disappear immediately?”

I still couldn’t answer.

In the afternoon, a light drizzle fell, and the people who had come out for a spring outing dispersed. The petals of the Haitang flowers fell. I brought Su Lian back to Su Zhao, and the pond where I used to grow Su Lian was empty. I sat by the pond and watched the raindrops ripple in the water.

My brother came to see me and said solemnly, “Weiwei, you’ve just recovered from your illness, don’t stay in the rain, go back to your room.”

I hung my head, too tired to even sigh. He noticed something was wrong and sat down beside me. “Weiwei?”

Seeing him bend down and look at me with wide eyes, I couldn’t help but laugh, “Brother, you’re so beautiful.”

“Stop joking around. Go back to your room.”

He was always like this, strict but gentle with me, often giving me the illusion of my father.

Feeling overwhelmed with grievances, I leaned on his arm and whispered, “Don’t make me, let me stay with my brother for a while.”

“You naughty girl,” he tapped my forehead with his index finger. I burst out laughing, but then I couldn’t laugh anymore.

Because in the corner of the gazebo, a deep blue figure appeared. My master seemed to have intended to come to my courtyard, but when he saw the two of us, he stopped and looked at us indifferently, his gaze as cold as the cold rain.

He had driven me away like that yesterday, and I was actually quite angry. But he was my master, and I should accept his scolding. So, I didn’t know whether to get up or pretend not to notice.

But before I could react, he had already shifted his gaze to the distance and disappeared into the mist with a flick of his sleeve.

The long rain, the dreary weather, should have appeared in the warm spring when flowers were blooming, not in the short summer when the rain was heavy. However, this lazy and sad rain continued to fall until night.

After much thought, I felt that I was in the wrong for ignoring my master, so I should be the one to take the initiative to make peace. So, in the Green Brocade Palace, when he was chatting with several guests from the Divine Realm, I knelt in front of him and offered him a cup of tea, saying, “Master, please have some tea.”

But he didn’t even turn his head, and he just continued talking to the others. I knew that my master didn’t like to be urged, so I didn’t say anything else. I just kept that posture. Later, perhaps because I had been kneeling there for too long, even the others felt sorry for me and kindly reminded my master to drink the tea, but he still ignored their requests and didn’t miss a single word of the conversation.

Knowing that my master was angry with me, I couldn’t say anything to defend myself, otherwise, it would be my fault. I had experienced this kind of thing too many times, and I was a little tired of it. However, I could still tolerate it until this point. But when Qing Wu Divine Maiden spoke up, “Divine Lord Yinze, it’s not good to treat a disciple who has just left your tutelage like this.”

Dressed in a green dress with a white belt, she smiled as sweetly as a flower. Every time she smiled, her laughter was so charming that it made flowers bloom. In fact, she was just trying to help me, but seeing her so radiant and unattainable, the maid’s contemptuous words towards me became even more unbearable.

I felt that I couldn’t bear it anymore, and I didn’t want my master to reply to her. I said, “Master, you’re wrong. She’s not my disciple yet, so she can’t be disrespectful to you.”

She smiled again, “Divine Lord Yinze’s words are both praise and criticism. I’ll take it as a compliment.”

Qing Wu Divine Maiden’s maid also laughed, “Oh, this female disciple is so beautiful, but she’s as mute as a wooden doll. She doesn’t even say a word.”

Qing Wu Divine Maiden said, “Don’t be rude.”

The maid immediately shut her mouth, but my master seemed to have no airs of a divine lord today, and he even replied to the maid. He glanced at me and said, “She’s always been so dull and uninteresting.”

When I heard this, I almost cried on the spot, but I could only hold back my tears and said neither yes nor no, “Master, the tea is getting cold. Please drink it.”

My master still didn’t take the tea. Finally, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I stood up and smashed the teacup on the ground. The entire hall was silent, and only my master looked at me expressionlessly.

I turned around and ran out.

Outside, the sky was dark and stormy, and the violent wind and rain shook the entire Azure Dragon Heaven. I never wanted to hear Yinze’s voice again, so I took all my belongings and flew out of Cangying Mansion. As I passed through the Floating Pagoda Star Sea, I was drenched like a drowned rat, and the rain was so heavy that I couldn’t even open my eyes. But I couldn’t help but slow down and stop on a solitary cliff.

When I was younger, I hadn’t noticed, but now, thinking back, it was here that I had first fallen for Yinze.

Only now, the Floating Pagoda Star Sea had turned into a gray fog, with not a single star in sight. In the center of the sky, lightning constantly pierced through the clouds, striking down with the force of taking lives.

After a moment, a servant flew to me with an umbrella, “Miss Luo Wei, Divine Lord Yinze asks you to go back.”

“Tell him, I’m not going back!” I covered my ears, not wanting to hear another word. “He’ll never see me again!”

“This... Divine Lord was already very displeased. If you ask me, it’s best not to provoke him... He can be very scary when he’s angry...”

“He’s scary when he’s angry? I, the little princess of Great Su Zhao, am also scary when I’m angry! Who does he think he is? I have nothing to do with him anymore!”

The servant sighed and was about to retreat, but a bright beam of light flashed between us, and the figure I least wanted to see suddenly appeared. He said, “You say who am I?”

The servant exclaimed, “D-Divine Lord!”

Yinze waved his hand, dismissing him. At this moment, he had enveloped himself in ice, and compared to my disheveled appearance, he looked elegant in his brocade robe, which made me even angrier. I said, “What? Do you want to teach me another lesson?”

“Luo Wei, what is your attitude?”

“What is my attitude? What attitude do you have towards me, and I’ll have the same attitude towards you.”

The fact that we were addressing each other so casually had already made him very unhappy. Being contradicted by his disciple like this was probably something he had never experienced in his life. He said angrily, “Luo Wei, you’re being lawless today.”

“Yes, I am lawless.” I stood up and said bluntly, “To be honest with you, I don’t even want you as my master anymore! If you have the guts, kill me!”

Although he was not touched by the rain, his face was very pale, as if he was frozen. “You said you would never be able to repay my kindness, but now you’ve changed your mind so quickly. I didn’t teach you to be fickle.”

“So what? Even if I reincarnated a hundred times, I would still be as small as an ant in front of you. Saving my life was a kindness, looking at me was a kindness, teaching me a little magic was a kindness, and for you, it was nothing. But have you ever considered my feelings? I don’t want any of it!”

Yinze laughed coldly, “Very well. You don’t want the life I saved, then what do you want?”

“I disappeared for ten years, and you never thought of coming to see me.”

“Who is older and who is younger between us? Who is superior and who is inferior? As a junior, you didn’t come to see your master, and you even have the audacity to blame me. Well done.”

“I’ve already told you, I don’t want you as my master, Divine Lord Yinze!”

He was furious and slapped his sleeve, “Presumptuous!”

I could see that his patience had reached its limit, and if I said anything else, he might just throw me into the star sea. But all the emotions that I had been suppressing had finally burst out.

I wiped the water from my face, “Presumptuous? You haven’t seen me at my most presumptuous. You like obedient disciples, right? I’ll tell you honestly, Luo Wei has never been obedient! I was only obedient because I wanted to be by your side, but I was always hurt. Now I can’t take it anymore, do whatever you want to me!”

He was first shocked, then all his majesty crumbled, and his eyes dimmed. “You’re right. You’re always getting hurt when you’re with me.”

In an instant, a bolt of lightning struck the peak, followed by a loud thunderclap, making me unable to open my eyes, but it also gave me the final courage. I closed my eyes and rushed forward, smashing his ice barrier with my head! The shards of ice fell like a knife, and at the same time, blood flowed from my forehead and was washed away by the rain.

Yinze reached out and caught me, shouting, “What are you doing, you fool?!”

My vision was blurred, and the sound of the heavy rain seemed to come from far away. The only sound I could hear was his breathing. He quickly used magic to heal my wound, but I was still in so much pain that I cried. I grabbed his collar and pulled him down, then pressed my cold lips against his.

His body stiffened, and his expression was one of shock.

I let go of him, and my tears mingled with the rain, unnoticed by anyone. “I didn’t do that last time because I was dizzy, it’s because I couldn’t hold back anymore. Master, I’m unfilial. From now on, please take care of yourself. I won’t come back...”

I kissed him lightly on the lips again, wiped my eyes with my wet sleeve, and turned to leave. But just as I took two steps, my wrist was grabbed, and I was pushed hard against the rock.

I was groaning in pain when my lips were blocked by his. He lowered his head and kissed me frantically, his arms forcefully confining me, leaving me no room to escape. His kiss was as wild as the storm, and I couldn’t keep up with his rhythm. I could only wrap my arms around his neck and respond to him uncontrollably...

The Divine Lord Yinze at this moment was no longer the untouchable god. He was as disheveled as I was, his hair sticking to his cheeks, and his whole body was soaked. He held my face and kissed my eyebrows, cheeks, and ears quickly, as if he couldn’t get enough, and whispered in my ear, “I love you.”

My body trembled slightly, and the hands that were grabbing his collar were shaking slightly.

“Wei’er, I love you.”

His kiss fell on my lips again. Hot tears fell one by one, and were quickly swallowed up by the cold rain. I had always been afraid of showing my vulnerable side in front of him, but I held his neck tightly and cried loudly.

I don’t know how long I cried, it seemed like I wanted to vent all the grievances I had suffered in the past thirty years. In the end, I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even walk.

He carried me back to Cangying Mansion and threw me onto the bed. As he kissed me, he unfastened my clothes, wildly kissing every inch of exposed skin...

Whether it was his breath, his fingers, his passionate kisses, or the way he possessed me, even the way he breathed, was completely different from before.

However, no matter what, it couldn’t make me turn back.

From the moment he responded to me, from the moment he embraced me, I had guessed more or less.

Perhaps, not just in this life, but in countless lifetimes, I would never like someone like this again.

Everyone’s life is like a fleeting spring and autumn, with constant changes. There is always a dream that will be engraved in our memory when we are old. And my dream is the most beautiful picture in my youth. It’s as beautiful as a flower in the air, a flame in the sun, a moon in the water, and a tower in the sea. It’s as beautiful as the most splendid prison in the nine heavens and six realms, which has put a shackle on me and consumed all the good fortune of my life.

Because there will never be another person like him.

The thunder roared and broke the mountain, accompanied by violent wind and rain, rippling thousands of swaying water lights. The raindrops intertwined and collided, creating countless climaxes every midnight, and it rained continuously for six days and seven nights. But by the seventh night, we had not taken a single step out of the bedroom.