MHD - 74

Chapter 74: Why Did You Do That? (2)

Jae-hyuk’s gaze, brimming with regret and resentment, pierced through Hee-soo like a sharp blade.

It had never been her intention to wound him this late in the game. She hadn’t meant to resent him, nor had she wanted to hear his resentment.

She simply wanted to let go of the secret she had carried alone for so long—because she was tired, because she no longer had the strength to hold on any longer. That was all.

Hee-soo wet her parched lips before biting down hard on them.

“Everything had already ended before I could even begin to tell you. So I didn’t say anything. If there was no beginning, I thought there was no need to talk about an ending.”

“If I had known what you were going through, I would never have left you alone. Never. How could you think I wouldn’t care?”

“No, I knew. I always knew you’d be the same. That’s why I couldn’t tell you. To me… it felt like a warning not to cross certain lines.”

“What kind of nonsense is that? Didn’t I tell you? Let’s study abroad together. I said I only needed you by my side for the rest of my life.”

“Yes, that’s right. You did say that. For a while, I even thought maybe we could become a family.”

A sudden gust of wind whipped Hee-soo’s hair into the air, carrying away the tears that had gathered at the corners of her eyes like droplets.

She looked at Jae-hyuk and gave a faint smile.

“I used to wonder—if that child had grown up, would they have looked more like you or me? Whenever I saw children, I’d think about things like that. About eating dinner together every night, going out on weekends… It was a sweet delusion, imagining I could have a happy, ordinary family like that.”

“Hee-soo…”

“But it was impossible from the start. Because you’re Lee Jae-hyuk, and I’m Seo Hee-soo.”

“How can you say that? Who decides such things?!”

Hee-soo shook her head gently as Jae-hyuk shouted in anguish.

“It can’t happen, us.”

Her voice was firm, driving the point home as she met his gaze.

“Later, when I finally came to my senses, I realized that the accident that day wasn’t just some random hit-and-run. Even after I debuted as an actress, every time I faced interference—whether subtle or overt—it felt like someone was choking me, whispering, ‘Just die already.’”

Hee-soo recounted the past events calmly, as if narrating someone else’s story.

The memory of being dragged away like a kidnapping victim after meeting Jae-hyuk during his leave, then slapped across the face in front of Jung-chul. The chilling threats from Jung-chul that still lingered vividly in her mind.

And afterward—the car accident, the loss of her child.

Like scenes from a movie based on someone else’s life, these memories flashed one by one through her mind.

With a face devoid of sorrow or pain, Hee-soo spoke to Jae-hyuk.

“I wanted to survive. But I didn’t want to live on in humiliation. Even if it meant breaking under pressure, I wanted to survive with dignity. I thought that was the greatest revenge I could achieve.”

“Why wasn’t I part of that? Why did you make me look like a clueless idiot who didn’t know anything? If you truly thought of me, shouldn’t you have said something—just one word—to me?”

“Oppa…”

“Even one word. Or the smallest hint.”

Even the tiniest clue.

Jae-hyuk repeated himself, his voice trembling with anguish. Unfinished words stirred buried memories of days when he had wandered the streets like a madman, desperate to see her, to hold her. And all the while, she had been enduring even greater pain, crying alone. His heart shattered.

“…Hee-soo.”

Barely managing to utter her name, Jae-hyuk couldn’t continue.

Too many emotions were packed into those two syllables. Anger toward Hee-soo, resentment, pity—and the unbearable sadness of imagining the emotional turmoil she must have endured.

Hee-soo. Hee-soo.

Finally, tears spilled over. His eyelids burned as though scorched by fire. The liquid streaming down his cheeks felt foreign, as if it weren’t his own.

Jae-hyuk bared his raw, unfiltered self to Hee-soo, sobbing openly.

“Why did you do it? Why? While you suffered, why did you make me resent you too? Why were you alone? Why did you bear it all by yourself? Why… why did you do it alone… why…”

His reproach—why did you leave me behind—morphed into a lament: why did you endure all that pain alone? Tears blurred his vision, distorting Hee-soo’s figure into a hazy, swollen image.

Without bothering to wipe away his tears, Jae-hyuk struck his chest repeatedly. It felt as though his heart were being twisted and squeezed.

Tears streamed down Hee-soo’s cheeks as well. Yet, even as she cried, she gave a faint smile.

“You know, I couldn’t answer your calls. But I missed you so much. Isn’t that contradictory? To feel so desperate to see you while refusing to pick up your calls. Caught between those conflicting emotions, I was always tormented. So…”

Hee-soo turned her head toward the crimson sun, half-submerged in the sea.

“That’s why, in every role I played, I tried to speak to you. I thought it was the only way I could convey my words to you—even if we couldn’t meet.”

The burning sun emitted its final burst of light, igniting the sky. Its fiery red glow dyed everything around them in its hue.

Hee-soo’s face, bathed in the twilight, turned back toward Jae-hyuk. Her tranquil eyes shimmered as she slowly opened her mouth.

“I love you, and I love you still.”

For a moment, even the wind seemed to pause, leaving the surroundings eerily silent. Over the sound of crashing waves, Hee-soo’s voice floated softly.

“Even as I said those words, I resented you. And even as I resented you, I longed for you. Longed to see you.”

“Aah…”

“Oppa, I missed you so much. I wanted to see you, to hold you so badly it drove me mad.”

With each word Hee-soo spoke, Jae-hyuk felt his heart shatter into pieces. An indescribable ache overwhelmed him, freezing him in place as he gazed helplessly at her.

“The words of love I spoke in my roles… they weren’t acting. They were my feelings. My heart, which both resented and loved you.”

Jae-hyuk seethed with anger—not just at Hee-soo, but at himself and everything around him.

He had once believed Hee-soo was the perpetrator who trampled on his emotions. But in truth, she was the victim of a tragedy born from his own pure love.

While he remained oblivious, she had been crushed and violated by forces beyond her control.

And yet, I blamed only you.

Jae-hyuk swallowed his rising fury, suppressing it deep inside.

If anyone should take responsibility for all of this, it was his foolish past self. Taking one step closer to Hee-soo, he spoke:

“Let’s start over. I’ll make up for everything. Hee-soo, I’m so sorry. Tell me how I can bring you back…”

But Hee-soo took a step back for every step Jae-hyuk took forward, widening the distance between them. Shaking her head, she rejected him with her entire being.

“This isn’t something Lee Jae-hyuk needs to apologize for. It’s just… the way things went wrong between us.”

As Hee-soo retreated, Jae-hyuk moved closer again.

“If things have gone astray, we can fix them. That’s all it takes.”

At Jae-hyuk’s words, a sorrowful smile flickered across Hee-soo’s face. Her mournful eyes stopped him in his tracks.

“I want to stop.”

But Jae-hyuk couldn’t give up. This wasn’t something he could end just like that.

“You can’t. I can’t stop. Not after knowing everything. How could I possibly let go now?”

Determined not to give up, Jae-hyuk relentlessly closed the distance between them. As Hee-soo continued to step back, the rising tide soaked her ankles.

By now, darkness had enveloped the surroundings. With each wave, the seawater climbed higher up Hee-soo’s legs.

When the water reached her calves, Hee-soo could retreat no further and came to a halt. Looking up at Jae-hyuk, who stood before her like an unyielding wall, she spoke:

“When I look at you, all I see is despair.”

“...What?”

“That’s what your family gave me. But then one day, I realized—I loved that despair too much. For a moment, I wavered. After struggling so hard to escape, I collapsed the moment I saw your face again.”

“Now that I know, it’s enough. I’ll protect you. Please, just trust me this once.”

“It was only for a moment. Just a brief wavering.”

“Please.”

Jae-hyuk reached out with trembling hands to grasp Hee-soo’s, but she pushed his hand away.

“I can’t do this. When I look at you, more bad memories surface than good ones. All I feel is pain—only sadness and suffering. Isn’t it twisted? I don’t remember any of the good things, only the bad. Who could ever love someone so tangled and broken like me?”

Hee-soo’s words, steeped in regret, were abruptly cut off by Jae-hyuk as if swallowing them whole.

“I love you! I, I love you. No matter what you are, I love you.”

How could he bring her back to his side? How could he ease her heart? How could he make her return to him?

An endless stream of questions consumed Jae-hyuk’s mind.

As long as he remained under the shadow of Gangrim, approaching Hee-soo would only reopen wounds that could never heal. The scars left by that name ran too deep.

Telling her to overcome it all with the power of love felt cruel—it was selfish. It was something only someone thinking solely of themselves would say.

Jae-hyuk struggled to suppress the storm raging inside him. Empty promises were meaningless. He needed to act.

For all the time Hee-soo had sacrificed, he too needed to make sacrifices. Only then could he stand before her with pride and wait for her.

Finally, Jae-hyuk realized what he had to do. Grasping Hee-soo’s hand once more as she tried to pull away, he fixed his gaze on her and declared:

“Hee-soo, I’m not giving up on you.”

Hee-soo silently lowered her eyes at his words, but Jae-hyuk continued regardless of her reaction.

“It doesn’t matter how long it takes. I’ll wait for you until you come back. Until the day I die—and even beyond that. But I won’t force your feelings.”

Jae-hyuk gently tucked a strand of Hee-soo’s wind-tousled hair behind her ear. His knuckles brushed against her skin, and his gaze lingered briefly on her slightly parted lips.

With his thumb, he wiped away the tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. Then, cupping her chin, he tilted her face upward slightly. Gazing deeply into her clear eyes, he finally lowered his hand.

“You stay here. I’ll be the one to move forward.”

With that, he felt he had said everything he needed to say. Turning around, Jae-hyuk left Hee-soo standing there.

Though the surroundings were dark, the path he needed to take was crystal clear. For the first time, Jae-hyuk felt certain that he was finally on the right road.