SOTBW - 148

At those words, Maximón withdrew his hand from Najane’s shoulder. He looked down at Najane with a cold gaze.

“I think I told you that I would be selecting a few women to train as soldiers.”

“Yes, you mentioned it when you gave me the cloak. But you never mentioned Amelia.”

“Well, I didn’t feel the need to talk about it.”

“Amelia is the first friend I ever had since I was born.”

Najane spoke in a calm tone, but her disappointment was clear.

Maximón narrowed his eyes, unable to understand. She had told him that she loved him, yet here she was, angry because of Amelia.

Maximón realized that there was a slight difference in the way he and Najane viewed their love. However, he was not disappointed. Najane was, after all, a kind person. No matter what he did, she would eventually accept it.

Sitting on the desk, Maximón pushed his hair back and looked at Najane with tired eyes.

“You are important to me, but I have no obligation to report everything decided from above. Amelia chose to become a soldier on her own. Or do you want to protect her like a little girl?”

“I don’t intend to question what the commanders decide. As a knight, I just follow my superior’s orders. But I think you’ve forgotten one thing. Do you remember why I came back after I tried to leave Romsoa?”

When Najane spoke with emphasis, Maximón raised an eyebrow.

How could he forget that moment? Najane had tried to leave Romsoa, but it was because of Amelia that she had stayed with Maximón.

Maximón felt a sense of frustration and irritation. Just as there was no great reason for someone to love another, Maximón also hated Amelia for what seemed like insignificant reasons.

However, unlike ordinary people, Maximón was a little different. Once Amelia had fallen out of his favor, he wanted to push her as far away as possible from the Romsoa Knights and even erase her presence from Najane’s side entirely.

Grinding his teeth, Maximón held back his anger.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve scratched my nerves.”

At Maximón’s words, Najane hesitated.

Not wanting to argue with Maximón, Najane lowered her gaze and calmly collected her emotions.

“I only fight the Serith... I have no right to interfere with what happens in the knights. I know that. I know that much. But at least I believe I have the right to know that my friend has gone from being a maid to a soldier. Do you really think it makes sense that I, the only female knight in Romsoa, didn’t know about the existence of Romsoa’s only female soldier until now? Really?”

“I don’t understand why you’re blaming me.”

“Maximón.”

“You should be blaming Amelia, not me.”

Maximón stood up from the desk and walked right up to Najane. Najane, stunned by his words, let out a bitter laugh.

“What did you just say?”

“It wasn’t me who didn’t tell you anything, it was Amelia. Did you think I should have explained that to you? Why didn’t Amelia tell you she became a soldier? Maybe she didn’t feel the need to? Or do you think I silenced her from telling you anything?”

Maximón spoke in a calm, but rapid voice, without a single pause. When Najane, confused, tried to step back, Maximón grabbed her arm.

He sighed deeply, resting his head on Najane’s shoulder.

“Why would I do something like that? One day, you’ll know everything.”

Maximón murmured in a tired voice, as if he were deeply uncomfortable and upset by the fact that he had to clash with Najane like this.

Najane couldn’t say anything. She wanted to argue but found herself unable to say a word. Maximón’s words were, after all, true.

Amelia hadn’t told Najane anything. If Amelia hadn’t removed her helmet and fixed her hair, Najane wouldn’t have even known who was on the field.

Flustered, Najane dropped her gaze.

“...Amelia wouldn’t have volunteered to become a soldier on her own.”

Najane whispered in an uncertain tone. At those words, Maximón lifted his head and sneered.

“How can you be so sure? Mercenaries also go out to the field to make money, so what’s different about that woman, who has a huge debt?”

“Amelia was scared and trembling.”

“Being scared is the same for child soldiers. Even soldiers who have fought for years are afraid when facing Serith.”

Najane couldn’t say anything more. All she could do was look at Maximón with eyes that seemed like they might tear up, but she couldn’t even do that and dropped her gaze.

Letting out a long sigh, Najane covered her eyes with the palms of her hands. She didn’t know what to do in this situation.

If it were up to her, she would beg Maximón to take Amelia out of it. But that would be dishonorable. To save Amelia, everyone needed to be saved.

In Noctis, desertions happened daily. Everyone feared fighting Serith and would rather desert, hoping to be imprisoned or put to hard labor.

But if Amelia were treated differently, there would be complaints among the soldiers. It would be too petty and discriminatory to rescue her just because she’s a woman.

Najane didn’t even think that Maximón had used his authority to make Amelia a soldier. On the contrary, she blamed herself for not knowing that Amelia was in such a desperate situation.

As their encounters within the knight order grew fewer, Najane had just thought that Maximón was very busy. She didn’t worry, thinking that if something significant happened, Amelia would surely come to find her.

Amelia had been injured on her back during the first battle. It wasn’t a serious injury, but if it was at that level, she would likely have to go back into the field and fight tonight. Even experienced knights often died fighting Serith, so what would happen to Amelia…

Najane, covering her face with both hands, blamed herself for not knowing anything until it had come to this. Then Maximón embraced Najane. He gently brushed away his blue-tinted hair, and in a soft whisper, he spoke kindly.

“I thought Amelia would naturally tell you everything. That’s why I didn’t mention it to you either. I’m sorry. If I had known it would upset you this much…”

Maximón, comforting Najane, spoke kind words that didn’t reflect his true feelings.

“You don’t need to worry. I heard she was trained well in the Recheo Knights, so nothing bad should happen. If you truly care about Amelia, you should trust that she’ll do well in the field.”

Najane didn’t respond or even nod. Maximón wanted to know what she was thinking. Whether she agreed with him or was still suspicious of him…

But it wasn’t the right moment to probe her thoughts.

“You should go back to your quarters and rest. I’ll clean up here and follow you soon, so don’t have bad thoughts and just go to sleep first.”

Maximón gently guided Najane toward the exit of the barracks. Holding his hand, Najane obediently followed, replying in a tone that was impossible to read.

“I’ll stop by the aid station first before heading to my quarters. Amelia has gotten a little injured…”

Maximón didn’t respond. Najane wondered if Maximón was angry, and she began to reconsider her earlier behavior.

Had she been too scolding? She didn’t mean to blame Maximón…

Before leaving the barracks, Najane looked at Maximón one more time. Fortunately, his expression seemed unchanged. Relieved, Najane briefly hugged him before letting go.

“I’m sorry for speaking so coldly earlier… I’ll go ahead. I’ll see you in the quarters.”

Maximón, not seeming to care too much, lightly kissed her forehead as she left the barracks.

Najane then went with Belshua, who was handing over the injured soldiers to the aid station. It seemed Belshua had been waiting for her.

Maximón’s gaze instantly sharpened. He watched Belshua’s retreating figure with a sharp look before heading back into the barracks.

He tried to appear unaffected in front of Najane, but once alone, his frustration and anger, which he had not been able to calm down, surged, and his head began to heat up.

Rubbing his forehead, Maximón looked down at his gloves, stained with blue blood. He inhaled deeply, burying his face in the gloves, and faintly smelled Najane’s scent.

Thinking of Najane, who had gone with Belshua to the aid station, Maximón’s greenish-gray eyes dulled. He longed for her as he gazed at the gloves, now sticky with blue blood.

If only love had a tangible form…

The only way Maximón could receive confirmation of love from Najane was through her words, saying “I love you.” He couldn’t show his heart to her or prove it through sex.

Despite receiving a confession of love from Najane, Maximón felt like an anxious child unable to control his emotions, overwhelmed by unease and restlessness.

Still, this much was expected. It was within the range of anticipation that Najane would be angry upon seeing Amelia become a soldier.

Maximón mulled over Najane’s words about Amelia getting a minor injury. Now that Amelia had just become a soldier, she would likely stay in the rear for a while.

Najane was more than capable of fighting on the frontlines, but now that she knew Amelia was out there on the field, she wouldn’t want to leave her side.

And that was exactly what Maximón wanted. No matter how much Najane tried to protect Amelia, she would die on the field.

Najane had too many precious things. Maximón hated that. He had already experienced the hierarchy of love through Edwin. The more precious things one had around them, the less they could be the first priority.

Let alone if anyone were to discover that he was not human…

Maximón didn’t doubt Najane’s words of love. He knew she wouldn’t lie. The confession that day was genuine. Knowing that, Maximón wanted to erase everything around Najane.

He wanted only himself to remain by her side. Even when the day came that Najane realized his true nature, he didn’t want her to be able to leave him. He wanted her to love only him, like a person drunk on affection. He wanted her to be unable to escape from his embrace, like a foot caught in a trap…

Maximón, lost in these horrific thoughts, covered his face with his hands, writhing in pain.

Najane…

I hope you grow foolish thinking of me, missing me even when I’m right beside you, losing your rationality in everything related to me, feeling like I am the most pitiable thing in this world…

I wish your mind would be filled with nothing but me. I wish you couldn’t breathe without me. If only I could sever your limbs…

Then you wouldn’t be able to walk or go anywhere without me. I would become your entire world. You would cling to me just to be loved, and if that happened, I wouldn’t feel anxious anymore…

But Najane.

How could I do that?

How could I do such a thing to you…?

“Captain, the field is mostly cleared. The other captains have requested an emergency meeting. Would you like to attend? If it’s difficult right now, they mentioned the meeting can be postponed until noon.”

At that moment, Jacob entered the barracks and spoke to Maximón’s back. Maximón, who had been leaning on the desk with both hands, paused in silence for a moment before slowly lifting his head.

His eyes had already returned to a dark green color.

“...Where is the meeting?”

“In Recheo.”

“I’ll attend. You clean up here, then return to the knight order.”

“...Are you sure you’re alright?”

Jacob, stepping aside to allow Maximón to leave the barracks, asked cautiously. Maximón’s expression was colder and darker than when he faced multiple opponents in a battle. Jacob instinctively felt threatened and took a step back.

Maximón left the barracks without answering. Jacob, left alone in the barracks, let out a sigh, his startled heart slowly calming.

“...Did you fight with Najane?”