Chapter 65

I, Your Dog-like Boyfriend.

On the way back, Gu Yi started sneezing. Liang Daiwen felt a little guilty. “I didn’t think the air conditioner would be this broken. The guy who lent it to me said it was a car he put his heart into modifying, a treasure he kept for himself.”

“It’s okay, I’ve gotten enough material from this trip.” Gu Yi sneezed again, “And this cold is probably from the tent.”

“How did that happen?”

“Don’t pretend to ask.”

“Oh.” Liang Daiwen pursed his lips, then placed his hand on Gu Yi’s forehead. “It is a bit warm.”

“A bit warm? If you bury me, I’ll burn you alive.”

“Can I refuse?”

“No. Liang Daiwen, listen up, if you’re mine when alive, you’re mine when dead, even if you get buried, only I can scatter your ashes.”

“You should check if you’re using that phrase correctly. How did you become a word worker?”

He seemed to be in a good mood, tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel with the rhythm of the Bluetooth music. When they entered the city and it started raining, he didn’t get impatient. On the narrow roads, a group of students were coming out of school, the sidewalk crowded with people. He stopped and said, “Look, doesn’t it look like the world’s upside down, umbrellas becoming clouds in the sky?”

This metaphor made her pause—Liang Daiwen had started using metaphors, and it felt so wonderfully synesthetic. There were no signs of anxiety when he slept. In the few days they stayed together, she didn’t see him getting up in the night to do exercises or drinking water anxiously. If her presence had dulled his pain toward life, it was a good thing. Also, Gu Yi tended to believe that the crazy side of Liang Daiwen from a while ago had been a reaction to his emotions. Now that it had subsided, he seemed to have returned to being shy and reserved. Thinking about how he acted in that manic state, it was like a malfunctioning robot revealing its true feelings.

Sometimes, she would miss that chaotic Liang Daiwen.

Before getting out of the car, Liang Daiwen said, “To cure your lack of culture, I have a gift for you in the glove box.”

Gu Yi was a bit surprised; it was nice that he, who usually didn’t show his emotions, could hide a gift so well. The glove box was stuck on something, and Gu Yi hurriedly tried to open it—only to accidentally break the glove box off. A Sony e-ink reader box fell out and hit her ankle. Liang Daiwen furrowed his brow. “Careful, I wasn’t trying to give you the glove box.”

Gu Yi was in pain, tears coming out. “Why’d you put such a big gift in the glove box and block it like this? Why is it my fault…”

“You used to have a pun—‘everyone waits to see your joke, but actually, you have many more jokes.’ Looks like you do.”

“Liang Daiwen—how can you say such cold words with your 37-degree body?”

The date extended by another half an hour, with Gu Yi holding onto Liang Daiwen’s gift. Watching him bend down to fix the car in the passenger seat, she realized that he didn’t match the Jetta at all. He kept turning the glove box in all angles but couldn’t put it back. She realized that she hadn’t changed her original intention—to make Liang Daiwen laugh and bring endless trouble to his life.

Gu Yi posted a status on WeChat Moments: “I’m born to be a stand-up comedian, no one else has such bad luck as me.”

As soon as she posted, her mom sent a message: “Delete it.”

“Why?”

“It’s unlucky. And think about how it might make others feel; they’ll think you’re hard to approach.”

“Why do I need to consider other people’s feelings when posting? If I do, I might as well post a flyer. And when did you become so superstitious? Didn’t you always tell me to do whatever I want?”

“If confidence could be turned into money, you’d be rich already.”

Her mom’s message seemed to have a voice note: “If you were really happy in life, you wouldn’t be sitting on the curb drinking and crying to me.”

What was she saying? Posting a status could get scolded. Liang Daiwen closed the car door, his face a little dark: “Fixed it. If there’s nothing else, I’ll return the car to the company.”

Gu Yi held back her laughter. “Go ahead.”

The comic based on her stand-up was being pushed by Jacqueline, and Gu Yi worked overnight to finish it. The backstage data was doing well, with over 100k followers and engagement. Her mom was right about the WeChat status—she shouldn’t have posted it. Jacqueline tagged her in the group, telling her to come to the office for a meeting. Gu Yi’s headache worsened. She knew Jacqueline would definitely push her further.

In the office were Jacqueline and Roger. When Gu Yi opened the door, she heard them chatting and laughing. Jacqueline was joking with Roger: “Lindsey looks lazy but is actually goal-oriented. She doesn’t wake up without a reason. Ever since she took the team, she’s been staying up late. Her data growth is the highest in the content team, and the ads are performing well. I told her to keep it up. A few days ago, she immediately stayed up all night to send me the second half of the year’s plan and even made long-form comics. The data’s really good. A lot of people in my Moments are sharing it.”

“That’s why I said you have a good eye.”

“You should trust me. Pony is smooth with socializing, Lindsey has unique content, and the success of Weekly isn’t just my doing. But talk shows are still a bit niche. Once Roger leaves, we’ll have a meeting and look for some more mainstream industries to create long comics, like teachers, influencers, parenting, and relationships—lots of fun ideas.”

Gu Yi thought to herself, “It’s not that the interviews are interesting, it’s that my art is ugly and the soul is interesting. It’s hard work for me, but you take all the credit.” But when she remembered the olive branch extended by Yu Dule’s company, she thought, “Just hang in there, I’ll leave as soon as I get the offer.” She smiled in the office for a while, and when only the two of them were left, Jacqueline was looking at the spreadsheet on her computer: “Change the schedule for Bypass, the headlines have been replaced with long comics, so we’re planning to do 8 of them. Get the topic proposals to me by tonight.”

“Are you joking? There’s still 3 hours before work ends.”

“You took the morning off to sleep in. Do you still have the nerve to say only 3 hours left?”

“Big sister,” Gu Yi called her for the first time, “I took the day off, I got my pay docked.”

“You haven’t realized that you’re becoming an IP. You’re interesting, humorous, and have topics. It’s hard to keep producing content in a niche field, but you’re doing it. You have creativity as a talk show host, I hope you’ll work a bit harder. I guessed you were the one behind that comic for the Bulgari Hotel. Too bad you’re the type who only gets inspiration when something happens to you. So I won’t pressure you, but you’re just wasting time here.”

Gu Yi rolled her eyes dramatically: “It’s not that I’m wasting time. I work my eight hours every day, and I’m way more capable than anyone in this office. All you’re doing with this constant PUA is trying to turn me into someone like you. You’re happy when I produce viral articles, but what’s the point? You’re not going to hand your throne to me or let me have a taste of the soup, and you think raising my salary is a favor. This manipulation works on others, but it doesn’t work on me.”

“You’re really honest,” Jacqueline said, her face turning red and white for a moment. “Okay, how about this—if the eight long tweets for Bypass get 500,000 hits, I’ll make an exception and give you a two-thousand-dollar year-end bonus. How about that? It’s worth more than the 200-yuan performance where I take a percentage from you. You could do 100 commercial talk show gigs with that.”

Oh right, she had asked someone to help forward her rights protection post. Though two thousand yuan was a small fortune compared to a talk show, Gu Yi felt a pang of bitterness—Jacqueline herself charged 50,000 yuan per post for her celebrity team, and she considered two thousand yuan a “favor”? Gu Yi thought to herself, “Gu Yi, you’re talking about a talk show, but others are earning yearly salaries, and your boss just sees you as a money tree.” At this point, Gu Yi nearly said something rude but stopped herself. “Five thousand.”

“Three and a half thousand.”

“I’m not drawing anymore.”

“No more bargaining. Not a penny more.”

“Two thousand it is, deal.”

As she walked out of the office, Gu Yi saw Pony making coffee. She was dressed in a Gucci T-shirt with a suit jacket, wide-leg shorts, and high heels. Gu Yi couldn’t help but size her up. Out of all the items, the T-shirt was likely the only genuine piece, and the rest seemed fake—interns had seen her social media, where she followed accounts selling “high-end replicas” and “big brand trendy clothes and shoes (looking for agents).” Pony’s financial situation likely couldn’t afford the full set of clothing. Gu Yi had heard from an intern that Pony had once posted something late at night and deleted it quickly, implying she wasn’t at home but was sitting in the hallway smoking and watching videos of busty women dancing. Her in-laws’ apartment was old and cramped with her grandmother living there too, and the air was stale and stagnant. The neighborhood was rundown, with outdated electrical wiring, and the hallways smelled like cat urine. She felt hopeless about her life, seeing marriage as a long-term contract and wanting to cry but not wanting to ruin her redwood furniture. The next morning, she still shared a news article with the caption: “Good morning! Another fresh day for a Shanghai person.”

Pony walked by: “How’s the rights protection going?”

“Not bad, it’ll be resolved in a week.”

“I heard your boyfriend is super handsome. Have we met? I also heard he dated Jacqueline before?”

She was talking about Xu Guanyue. Gu Yi awkwardly smiled: “He’s not my boyfriend. If you want to see him, I have a magazine with an interview, I’ll show you later.”

Pony gave a faint, condescending smile: “Oh, that’s impressive. How did you manage that? You’re usually so inconspicuous, but you managed to land a boyfriend who’s been in a magazine?”

Gu Yi thought to herself, “Yeah, if I match a boyfriend like that, it proves I’m not bad. At least better than you, right?”

Their conversation was filled with passive-aggressive remarks, and Gu Yi didn’t feel good. But after dealing with the rights protection, she had learned a lesson: never swallow your anger in any situation. A moment of resentment could take ten times longer to digest. Working with someone like Jacqueline would always come with dissatisfaction and complaints, but at least there was a certain understanding and recognition of her soul, which made it worthwhile. She would always get a quick response, and there was a sense of mutual reliance. Jacqueline was like a “work husband.” With no friends in the team, she might need a junior like Gu Yi to help her alleviate her loneliness at work.

After finishing overtime, Gu Yi asked around in the group about Guan Xingxin being fired, and Guan Xingxin sent a gentle voice message: “It’s normal, we were seven people and only four were selected, and my age got me dropped. By the way, Yu Dule has never been celebrated for his birthday, even though his family has thrown him so many birthdays. He doesn’t even know what a fortune cookie with a message is. At the end of the month, let’s meet at the Rongmao Theatre to gather for him.”

Yu Dule had been moved around different cities by his family, and they had a small hotel, so he never worried about his birthday. Gu Yi was surprised by this. After finishing two long comics about teachers and relationships, it was the end of the month. Gu Yi saw some strangers reposting her work in her social media feed, and she felt she had truly made Bypass a success. When she arrived at Rongmao, she realized she hadn’t bought Yu Dule a gift. She rushed out, only to realize that Yu Dule was often overlooked like this, used to being forgotten. Secretly scolding herself, Gu Yi remembered his dream of selling dreams, so she bought an antique puppet from a nearby boutique and wrapped it up, ready to give it to him. When she saw Liang Daiwen with a big gift, she couldn’t help but ask: “What did you buy?”

“NAS. Full name: Network Attached Storage—he’s editing videos, so he should need something like this.”

This made Gu Yi feel more guilty. Her boyfriend was more concerned about her friends than she was. Guan Xingxin, dressed in a jewel-blue dress, said, “I bought the ingredients, let’s make fortune cookies together today.”

Lu Ming was also there, which was rare. He had been working hard at the factory, even personally running deliveries. His arms were noticeably darker from the sun. He was nearly done repaying his debts, and his mood had improved. It was said that after clearing his debts, his old friends would invite him to dinners and to play basketball, but he had turned them down. He joked, saying he wasn’t suited for stand-up comedy at Rongmao Theater. Once he paid off his debts, he wanted to turn the place into an escape room experience center. Guan Xingxin, while putting the cookies in the oven, said, “You, you’d be better off focusing on one thing instead of trying everything. The stand-up comedy didn’t take off partly because of you. Otherwise, Xiao Tuzi wouldn’t have had to sign such a pointless contract.”

Hearing this, Lu Ming stuck out his tongue. Even though his deep features had gotten more tanned, he still looked energetic, though his eye sockets were deeper. His gaze toward Guan Xingxin had become more melancholic. He asked, “Where’s Xu Guanrui? Why didn’t he come?”

“He’s been spending a lot of time with a colleague of mine lately, going home together at night. And Xiao Tuzi is already dating Liang Daiwen, so he’s out of the loop.”

Gu Yi overheard the first part: “Xu Guanrui has a girlfriend?”

“Not really, more like a ‘bedmate.’ The girl wants to make it official with Xu Guanrui, but it seems like he hasn’t agreed. However, the girl is very open-minded, and their arrangement is mutually beneficial. Without Xu Guanrui, she wouldn’t even be in the running for the group.”

After finishing, she went to get the cake. Gu Yi felt a pang of sympathy. She didn’t want to speculate about Xu Guanrui’s character, nor whether he had feelings for her, but she did need to give him a reasonable explanation. She had once taken a taxi home alone from a man’s house and had asked herself more than once if she wasn’t good enough or attractive enough, that she ended up being the one not chosen. At the very least, she needed to apologize to Xu Guanrui for her previous failure to keep her word.

The main character, Yu Dule, appeared outside the yard with his backpack. Guan Xingxin said, “He’s here! Hide!”

The yard was already dark, and a group of people waited to create a fake scene to scare Yu Dule. They crouched behind the sofa, with Liang Daiwen hitting his head, looking confused. “We already agreed to meet here. Why do we need to do these little tricks?”

“Even if you expect it, you still do it. People just like to do silly things to make others happy. Robot, you have a lot to learn.”

Yu Dule opened the yard door, finding it eerily quiet and empty. He took out his phone to call Guan Xingxin, but she jumped out to set off fireworks. Yu Dule jumped three feet in the air. Among the colorful confetti, Guan Xingxin kissed Yu Dule. Gu Yi saw Lu Ming’s disappointed smile.

After blowing out the candles, Guan Xingxin brought the cake inside the house. “Let’s write our fortune cookies first. The jobless are bored. The cookies have already been baked, so wait for me to take them out. You guys write your wishes. There’s paper and pens on the table. But since we’re all friends, you can write blessings or anything for others. Then we’ll guess who wrote what.”

“There’s a typhoon coming, should we go inside?” Liang Daiwen pointed at his phone with real-time cloud monitoring.

“Don’t listen to those weather forecasts. The air outside is fresh, and the lights are cozy. What’s wrong with it?”

“The air has been stuffy all day.”

“Let him be.” Yu Dule handed out slips of paper and wrote seriously, “I’ve never done this before. Always calling myself romantic, but clearly my persona isn’t so easy to maintain.”

Gu Yi carefully covered her written slips: “Yu Dule will definitely become the top video editor in Shanghai,” “I hope Yu Dule and Guan Xingxin are always together,” “Love is something you have to fight for, don’t hide your true feelings,” “I hope Liang Daiwen will never have girls chasing after him again, after all, he has a history.” After writing a few, she realized that the men at the table were all covering their answers like little schoolboys afraid of someone copying them. Guan Xingxin brought out a tray of re-baked cookies with a tempting butter aroma. Several big men reached for the cookies, but Guan Xingxin said, “Let them sit on the table first to cool down. The ink could make you sick.”

“What, did someone see it?” Yu Dule was in a good mood.

“You’ll find out soon enough. Hey, who wrote ‘I hope Guan Xingxin is always happy’?”

“I did,” Yu Dule capped his pen and took a bite of the cookie. “I’m starving.”

Lu Ming didn’t want to be outdone. “Let me see what you wrote.”

“Not a chance—”

Before he finished, a gust of wind blew, and the typhoon came earlier than expected. The buttery smell of the fortune cookies was carried away by the humid air. Everyone reached out to catch the flying slips of paper, but none succeeded. The wind was so strong that the wishes seemed to have been blown out of the yard. Yu Dule stubbornly ran after them, shouting, “No way, I’m going to get them back. It’s the only time I get to celebrate my birthday.”

Raindrops fell mercilessly, blown sideways by the wind. The group laughed in the storm. Gu Yi’s hair was blown into a mess, and Liang Daiwen grabbed her and adjusted her hair. Guan Xingxin was looking at her with eyes full of warmth and tenderness. The wind was strong, and Lu Ming shielded the box of cookies, watching quietly as he exchanged glances with Gu Yi. Liang Daiwen, with his jacket over the unopened gift, occasionally glanced at Gu Yi...

Gu Yi was moved by the scene—this felt like the happiest moment of 2019. The person she loved was by her side. Although the handwritten wishes were blown away by the wind, it felt like happiness was overflowing to the point where the weather was jealous.

“Liang Daiwen, you really are a jinx.”

“The weather forecast said this would happen.”

The wind blew out the lights, and Lu Ming said, “It’s raining, be careful with the electricity. Let’s go to the living room.”

The others quickly gathered their things and ran inside, while Gu Yi continued picking up the scattered slips of paper. One looked like it hadn’t been put in a cookie yet, and she recognized the handwriting: “I hope she never leaves me.”

Just as she was about to hide it in her pocket, everything spun around. Liang Daiwen picked her up horizontally and walked quickly toward the living room. The romantic drama-like posture had her pressed against his chest, and Gu Yi could hear his heartbeat—thump, thump, thump. Looking up at his jawline and beautiful brow bones, Gu Yi thought, maybe all her bad luck had been balanced by this strange stroke of fortune.