Chapter 56: The Gift

It was a DSLR camera.

Brand new, sleek black, far superior to the old, worn-out public-use camera at the Youth League Committee that had been in service for years. She had browsed similar models online before. Though she wasn’t sure if the exact model matched, even the cheapest cameras of this brand cost upwards of twelve thousand yuan.

Twelve thousand…

She was so shocked she couldn’t speak, staring blankly at the weighty gift in her hands. Beside her, the cartoon mascot continued its exaggerated and adorable gestures, expressing blessings and admiration for her, occasionally making heart shapes toward Xiao Zhi, as if to tell her what a wonderful and thoughtful lover he was.

…She already knew that.

But…

“Hmm?” He had already noticed something was off with her expression, his brows furrowing slightly, looking a bit uneasy. “…You don’t like it?”

How could she not?

Such an expensive gift, chosen with care—he knew her hobbies, knew what she wanted.

But…

“No,” she forced a smile, trying to reassure him despite the stiffness in her voice. “…I really like it.”

She didn’t know if she had fooled him, but at least she had fooled the diligent mascots around them. They began dancing enthusiastically and pushed out the pre-prepared birthday cake. The candles were lit, and amidst the chorus of well-wishes, she quickly stood up, avoiding his gaze as she hastily closed her eyes to make a wish. Her mind went blank for a moment, then after a short delay, several thoughts finally surfaced—

First, she wished to become wealthy.

Second, she wished to become even wealthier.

Third, she wished for herself—now fabulously rich—to be able to stay with him forever.

After watching the dazzling fireworks display, they left the park promptly at ten o’clock.

As they exited, the crowd surged, and there was a real risk of being trampled if one wasn’t careful. She obediently let him hold her hand, but her mind remained elsewhere. It wasn’t until nearly half past ten that they fully made their way out of the park. They barely caught the last subway back to school, but by the time they boarded, most seats were taken, the carriage filled with people heading back to the city just like them. He managed to find a spot for her to sit, but she refused, silently shaking her head while standing close to him.

“I won’t sit…”

Her voice was soft. After sneaking a glance at him, she mustered the courage to slip her arms around his waist in the corner near the door, quietly burying her face against his chest.

“…I just want to hug you.”

…More clingy than usual.

His response, however, was slower than normal, hesitating before pulling her into his arms. Perhaps because he couldn’t quite gauge her state of mind—if she was happy, why had she looked so strange in the restaurant earlier? And if she was unhappy, why was she now more affectionate than usual?

He couldn’t figure it out. No matter how intelligent a man is, he can never fully read a woman’s heart. In the end, they spent the entire ride in silence, her quietly leaning against him until they reached their destination.

When they emerged from the subway exit, they discovered it was raining heavily outside.

A torrential downpour, weaving countless threads of rain in the cold winter night, its sound unusually clear. Neither of them had brought an umbrella, and with no passersby at this late hour, they waited for ten minutes without seeing a soul.

“Then should we just run back?” With curfew looming at midnight, she reluctantly proposed. “It’s only seven or eight hundred meters away… We can make it if we run fast.”

But getting drenched was inevitable, and at this hour, the dormitory’s hot water supply would already be shut off, meaning she wouldn’t be able to shower after returning.

He had thought of that too. Glancing outside and then back at her, his expression grew slightly awkward. After a moment, he hesitantly asked, “Would you… like to take a bath at my place first?”

By “my place,” he didn’t mean his actual home but rather an old faculty housing unit allocated by the university, located in a nearby residential area. A small building five or six stories high, it had seen better days.

“My parents don’t live here; only I come by occasionally…”

He led her through the dimly lit hallway. Both of them were soaked from running in the rain, their voices carrying a dampness that seemed to echo in the stillness.

“…Don’t worry.”

She followed behind him, her head bowed, droplets of rain falling from her hair. Her free hand—the one not held by him—was icy cold.

“…Mm.”

Her voice was so faint it was almost inaudible.

Click.

The key turned twice in the lock, the sound unnervingly clear in the quiet night. From behind him, she watched his silhouette, unable to discern the lines of his shoulder blades beneath his thick winter clothes—a great regret, yet also a reason to yearn to touch him.

“Come in…”

He turned to her, his voice tinged with a subtle tension, and her heart clenched along with it. Perhaps the moment she stepped inside, she already sensed what would happen that night.

“…Go take a hot shower so you don’t catch a cold.”

He turned back to close the door, sealing them in a private space where the atmosphere of intimacy suddenly intensified. Perhaps even he felt a rare unease, resorting to speaking to counteract the strange sensations swirling between them. He reached to turn on the lights, his hand hovering near the switch, but at the last moment, she gently grasped his fingertips, leaving them both enveloped in the tranquil darkness.

“Don’t…”

Her voice was soft, tinged with a pleading tone. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him again. Their clothes were still wet, making their embrace uncomfortable.

“Aren’t you cold?”

He asked, his voice already hoarse.

She shook her head. The darkness made her more vulnerable and honest, her love for him roaring louder than the relentless rain outside.

“…Will we always be together?”

A question long buried in her heart finally escaped her lips. At any other time or place, she wouldn’t have had the courage to ask. Rabbits are masters of endurance, enduring pain and injury in silence, suffering alone until death.

“Yes,” he reassured her, perhaps sensing her inner turmoil, gently stroking her rain-soaked hair. “Don’t overthink it.”

Don’t overthink it?

That was easier said than done.

Privilege brings optimism; disadvantage breeds insecurity. Her reticence was a natural consequence of circumstance, like planting seeds and reaping fruit. But she had desires too. Just because the rabbit doesn’t cry doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel pain. Though she might not say it outright, deep down, she feared losing him.

…No.

She didn’t want to lose him.

“Then promise me…” Her voice was soaked with emotion. “…Promise me now.”

He seemed to chuckle—or perhaps sigh—thinking of her as both a child and a special girl who needed his careful protection.

“Alright,” his soothing words were as light as the rain. “How do you want me to promise?”

She fell silent again, unable to articulate a proper answer. But the darkness lent this silence a different flavor. By the time she lifted her head from his embrace, both their hearts were racing. He gazed at her, his deep eyes like beautiful gemstones, shimmering even in the dark. She kept falling, and finally, she tiptoed to kiss him.

…Her first truly self-initiated kiss.

Careful yet passionate, timid yet brave, sweet with a hint of bitterness. Perhaps love itself is tinged with sorrow. The only fortune was that he always responded to her. Her unspoken affection transformed into his reciprocated love, like exchanging a one-yuan coin for a hundred-yuan bill.

His hands grew warm, holding her waist firmly. There was no one to disturb them now, no prying eyes to consider. Privacy encouraged recklessness, and both knew things were spiraling out of control. Yet neither wanted to stop, delaying restraint for just a little longer. Now, they kissed, tentatively exploring each other’s bodies.

She clung tightly to his shoulders, then instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. The chaotic kisses grew uncontrollable; at one point, she felt her fingers brush against his Adam’s apple. He let out a muffled groan, then pinned her against the wall, passion surging between them, leaving neither untouched.

“Let’s go take a shower…”

But at some point, he abruptly pulled back, his voice taut, perhaps reaching a critical juncture where he felt the need to hit the brakes.

“…If we hurry, we can still make curfew.”

Could they?

She didn’t know anymore. Her mind was consumed by him alone; time and space had lost all meaning.

“Xiao Zhi…”

She called his name, nothing else, pouring all her longing and reluctance into it, tinged with the reckless gamble of desire and hope. No one could resist her, especially someone who already cherished her so deeply.

He murmured something softly, perhaps an emotional phrase, but she couldn’t hear it clearly. All she felt was herself being pulled back into his arms, the scorching kiss even more intense than before. Perhaps it came out of nowhere, or perhaps it was the delayed aftermath of the kiss at the train station the day before.

Finally, he lifted her up. Outside, the rain grew heavier, as if all the world’s rain had fallen that night, soon to cause floods that would scatter them to pieces. Dizziness struck simultaneously, and she felt herself falling with him into a cloud-like softness, the bedding carrying his scent—both comforting and stirring.

“You can still change your mind…”

He gave her one last chance, though his domineering stance as he loomed above her differed greatly from his usual demeanor.

“…Are you sure?”

Sure?

Was he asking her to think?

He overestimated her… From the moment she first laid eyes on him, she had lost the ability to think clearly. The subsequent months had merely been repetitions of falling in the same spot, sinking deeper and deeper into the same abyss.

A kiss could serve as an answer. She reached out to wrap her arms around his neck, her fingers unconsciously threading through his rain-dampened hair. The storm had washed away everything in the city, and the darkness became their last lifeline. She curled into his embrace, gradually losing everything yet gaining everything.

Amidst the heat of passion, she heard him call her name, a rare and unique nickname that made her feel like the only person in the world special to him. Together, they could share countless mornings and evenings, sunny days and rainy nights, and ultimately recount eternity to each other on a rainy night like this one.

I love you.

…Do you really know?