Chapter 64

You told me to look at the stars purely, then why did 001 fall out of your bag?

Gu Yi insisted on continuing the act, snuggling into his arms with a pitiful look, “Didn’t you want my heart? I’m now giving you my heart, all bloodied and hollowed out, and you just ran away.”

“I only eat well-done.”

“Ah, so bluntly rejecting me. The smell of rotting roses is worse than wild grass, but when it was blooming, you didn’t say this.”

Liang Daiwen closed his eyes in despair, “Help.”

Gu Yi smirked, looking at Liang Daiwen, who was trying not to laugh. She already anticipated how their future interactions would be. She would tease him, and he would get fed up with her cheesy lines. In the world of love, it’s either you die or I do.

She poked Liang Daiwen’s back, slipping her finger into the gap of his other hand, “You seem to have never said ‘I love you’ except for that time with me…”

“When did I ever say that?” Liang Daiwen squinted his eyes.

“You can’t deny it. You clearly said it when we were undressed and I wasn’t wearing underwear. You kissed me from behind.”

Liang Daiwen closed his eyes, his ears and face turning red-hot. “I didn’t do anything. Don’t make things up.”

“Oh-ho, playing amnesia now?” Gu Yi licked her lips. “So you drove your Jetta here just to give me material for my stand-up act? Go ahead, don’t be shy. Let me help you remember what happened at the Van Gogh museum that day.”

“No. I invited you here to watch the stars. That’s all.” Liang Daiwen was searching through his bag for earplugs when a small red box fell out. The numbers “001” were clearly printed on its cover.

Gu Yi sat watching from the bed, arms wrapped around herself.

“Just a coincidence,” Liang Daiwen said.

“Then explain this. Who is it for?”

“In case of emergencies.” Liang Daiwen burrowed into the blankets. “It really is cold today. Is there a hole in our tent?”

“What tent?”

Liang Daiwen closed his eyes helplessly. “Something’s off with you today.”

What could possibly be wrong? As she watched Liang Daiwen roll up his sleeves while setting up the tent earlier, Gu Yi had already caught glimpses of his body hidden beneath his shirt. His veins and blood vessels stood out as he moved heavy objects or pitched the tent; even the movement of his throat when drinking water had sent her heart racing. Waiting until they were inside the tent before giving in to desire was only because Gu Yi maintained some basic decorum—but she did find it strange—how just looking at someone’s face could lead to erotic thoughts... She had changed indeed. That incident on the living room sofa... certainly expanded her understanding of sex beyond what she’d known before. Before, she hadn’t quite grasped what “passion” meant; now she understood—it was an unconditional longing for one’s lover.

Liang Daiwen slipped into bed, gazing at those sparkling eyes that seemed to say, “Sleep with me.” He said softly, “I really did it to take your mind off things. You’ve been so down lately.”

“Is there something wrong with doing this when I’m feeling bad?” Gu Yi almost wanted to laugh. “You went overboard when you stopped me from coming upstairs before.”

“I don’t always get humans, you know.”

“Well, robot, welcome to the world of people.”

The restrained robot’s eyes were originally pure, but as they met his gaze and took in the dim yellow light inside the tent, they gradually changed. At first, she just gently pecked at his lips, then grew unsatisfied and started nibbling softly. The sound of their kissing and heavy breathing made them both feel hot. She burrowed into Liang Daiwen’s arms, unable to resist straddling one of his legs, tightly wrapped in his embrace. It seemed like desire had taken hold of both of them.

Aware that only a thin layer of cotton separated them, hidden beneath the quilt to avoid shame, Liang Daiwen lifted a corner. Startled, she scrambled up and ran away, saying, “No.”

Liang Daiwen caught her by the waist. “But you were the one who wanted it earlier too.”

“We can’t let anyone else hear...”

At that moment, Liang Daiwen began stripping off her clothes. “It’s too late for that now,” he murmured.

Her naked body was being teased. Kneeling in the dim yellow light, Gu Yi finally understood why all the sources of light were outside. If there had been a lamp inside the tent, her silhouette would have been projected clearly to anyone outside. Now it was the opposite—she could only see the blanket, pillow, and quilt, all as messy as she was. Liang Daiwen, also kneeling, was a head taller than her. His hands pressed against her chest, squeezing and holding her tight so she couldn’t escape. He leaned down to eat that small mulberry fruit.

How dare he! Really how dare he! They’d done this only a few times, yet he already knew all her body’s secrets. She tilted her head back, grabbing his shoulders and whimpering softly, suddenly thinking maybe seducing him hadn’t been such a good idea after all.

Liang Daiwen’s hands slid down her waist, then gripped her hips. He pushed her backward, bending her over at the knees—when did he learn her body was so pliable?

But his hands didn’t stop there. They reached past her opening, circling around, getting wet with her fluids. Then they moved up an inch, feeling something slightly different, teasing her gently. What was this move? In her ear, he whispered, “You know, don’t you? Women have two types of orgasm.”

Her hands sped up, her moans muffled by the pillow. She knew that wonderful feeling—the little toy from girl magazines, a secret pleasure for young women. Liang Daiwen pulled back the pillow, watching her with a mischievous grin. “We’re not done yet.”

He pressed something hard against her wet opening, then covered them both with a blanket until they were short of breath. “Ask me,” he said.

“You...”

“What you want.”

She refused to say it aloud. But just as shame began to wash over her, Liang Daiwen suddenly attacked. The blanket slid off; she lay there with legs spread wide, clutching the pillow tightly. This kind of pleasure was unlike anything she’d ever experienced—like her entire body was melting, every pore oozing sweat. She felt out of control—her mind consumed by greed and delight. She felt like rice cake in a bowl, pounded until soft and sweet, even her voice growing sticky and thick. Suddenly, she arched her back, cold and heat surging through her body in conflicting waves. Liang Daiwen called to her but got no response. After a long moment, he laughed. “Welcome to the world of robots.”

“What is this?”

“This is what we call an orgasm.” Liang Daiwen bit her ear, his breathing gradually calming.

“It hasn’t stopped yet,” she said. “There are still waves moving inside me.”

“This might be one thing men envy about women. Men may be like raging torrents, but women are more like surging tides.”

Her body, slow to calm down, seemed to stir up her confusion. It was as if something had awakened—once she’d truly experienced this kind of pleasure, there was no going back to purity. Hearing water in the bathroom, Gu Yi touched her body; the sensation lingered inside her, hard to shake off for a moment. Back in the tent, she felt a bit resentful instead. “So did you learn from porn sites or your ex-girlfriend?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“People can’t just naturally know how to do that—you need practice even for tests. Tell me the truth, don’t lie.”

“Who doesn’t watch some adult films? Besides, I’ve had girlfriends before.” He really wouldn’t lie.

She leaned closer, biting his lip fiercely. Drawing blood with her teeth, he winced and pulled her close. “It’s been years since we broke up—are you still holding a grudge? What’s wrong? Do you think I’m so clueless that making you feel unsatisfied would make you happier?”

“Jealousy.” But as they spoke, the air thickened again with desire. She took a deep bite at his neck, her hand sliding along his waistline, delighted to see him react. Liang Daiwen laughed. “Where’s your on-off switch?”

“You belong to me alone.” Gu Yi suddenly pushed him, not knowing where the domineering strength came from. The pillow had long since fallen out of place, and Liang Daiwen winced slightly in pain. “But the robot only has emotions because of you.”

She of course wasn’t really angry. “I don’t care.”

Liang Daiwen forcefully pulled her closer, licking her chest. “You can’t suffocate me like this.”

Looking into his bright, deep eyes, Gu Yi thought to herself that growing up meant, after struggling to meet a lover and having him, she couldn’t erase his past. The only comfort was that, at least in their past relationship, he definitely never had eyes that spoke like this.

After entering and coming out of the bathroom, she bent down to straighten the bed, noticing the twisted and sunken blanket, as though reminding herself of what had just happened. Lying in bed, she looked at the yellow light filtering through the tent and felt that changing the environment somehow helped her think more clearly. She carefully weighed Liang Daiwen’s words, considering that this might be a trait of emotional expression disorder. Because it couldn’t be expressed, most people just followed common logic and morality, avoiding crossing boundaries, with black and white never mixing. Some people, delicate and neurotic, could keenly use others’ moods and feelings, making every movement appear charming because of that slight lack of control — like Xu Guanrui. But because of their sensitivity, Xu Guanrui might, like someone with a chronic illness, constantly experience the pain of love, while Liang Daiwen, who couldn’t feel it, accumulated memories in his heart, suddenly having his understanding unlocked, with love and hate flooding in like an acute illness.

She opened LOFTER, and Xu Guanrui’s column had updated with four or five new music reviews. Before she could read them, Liang Daiwen came in, his hair still wet and messy. “What are you thinking?”

Gu Yi jokingly replied, “You missed my vulnerable moment.”

“You missed your chance to show off your masculinity, didn’t you?”

What an insightful reading comprehension. Gu Yi quickly shook her head. “No, no, I just don’t want to get up and take a shower again.”

“Seems like you’re not too tired, just don’t want to get up and take a shower. Did I not satisfy you?”

“No, no, I...” Gu Yi crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m completely out of energy.”

Liang Daiwen leaned in front of her, carefully sizing her up. “That’s true. If you don’t sleep now, it’ll soon be daylight. Why do you always test me, only to call it off first?”

Looking into his gentle eyes, she suddenly felt at ease. The problem of not being able to sleep in a new bed had been completely cured. She held his arm, the warmth of his skin giving her a sense of security. The blanket and pillow wrapped around her softly, and soon, sleep came. It felt as if she were swimming in clouds, the clouds supporting her body like a lover’s touch, light passing through her skin, turning her into a liquid, flowing through the clouds, changing shape as the clouds did, outlining a completely new body.

At that moment, she was love itself.

In the morning, Gu Yi walked out of the tent, her legs trembling from hunger. She glanced at her phone and saw it was already 8 AM. Gu Yi’s pupils trembled. “Aren’t we watching the sunrise?”

“I couldn’t wake you up. Shaking you, pinching your nose, even threatening you with your phone, it was like you were dead to the world.”

“You didn’t even try to properly wake me up. What’s going on? Afraid I’d forget what happened last night if I saw the sunrise?”

He insisted on trying to avoid it. “Let’s eat.”

The air in the suburbs was definitely much better than in the city, with no tall buildings blocking the sky. After the clouds parted, the sky was especially blue. While waiting in line, there were always people looking at her. Gu Yi, feeling curious, asked Liang Daiwen, “Did my stand-up comedy make it to the trending list? Why is everyone staring at me?”

“Because you screamed too loudly last night,” Liang Daiwen said flatly.

“Ah?”

“There were others in the public bathroom too, don’t you remember walking in and out in the middle of the night?”

“...”

“I told you to just sleep innocently,” Liang Daiwen pointed to a hotel in the distance. “Why don’t we eat over there?”

Gu Yi looked at Liang Daiwen, who seemed so detached. “You weren’t the only one in the tent last night.”

“I didn’t feel anything.”

“Stop deceiving yourself. You clearly felt it. Not long ago, didn’t you tell me ‘once I feel love, I’m done’...”

Liang Daiwen shyly covered her mouth and, holding her, ran off like a treasure.

They ended up running to a hotel nearby, and halfway through their meal, Liang Daiwen was chatting with the manager. Gu Yi watched from a distance as Liang Daiwen, wearing a gray sweater, looked tall and slender, chatting animatedly while pointing out the window. When he returned to the table, his mood was good. “This hotel is four stars, but the rooms for the disabled and pet rooms are well done. The manager promised I could go to the restaurant. Will you wait here for a moment?”

Gu Yi nodded. Liang Daiwen had only drunk half a cup of milk. As soon as he heard “disabled,” he got serious. She opened Xu Guanrui’s LOFTER, recharging herself—Xu Guanrui’s writing and musical insights were something no one else had. Many people in the industry wanted to invite him for band interviews because he was exceptionally persistent about the people he wanted to interview, and he always wrote satisfactory articles. Gu Yi often flipped through his pieces to catch a breath of freedom. After all, working at a magazine for a long time meant learning how to use flowery yet hollow language to write luxury product articles that didn’t speak human language. Xu Guanrui’s recent articles were somewhat related to her.

“Time flies, and it’s been ten years since I started in this industry. Ten years ago, after graduating, I ran to intern at ‘Popular Songs · Rock,’ sitting in the second seat by the window like a fool, with drawers full of bootlegs, Walkmans, and CD players, while instinctively rejecting MP3s. Ten years is a cruel span. I haven’t grown enough to look back on this journey, nor can I recklessly ignore it. The cruelest part is that no one will avoid changing in this span.”

“But I caught the most special period of rock. With massive music downloads online, the reception of information, and international integration, music became diverse. It wasn’t just metal and punk, and songs weren’t just about lost youth or love. VeryCD opened its arms to everyone, telling people that music had more techniques and sounds full of possibilities. Musicians could email Japanese entertainment companies, learn Japanese, and buy tickets. Summer Sonic, three days and nights, seemed like the sun would never set. But the belief in love it left me with may have been wrong. I always thought this was an energy that would never burn out, but the heat doesn’t always reach the people you want.”

“I’ve been looking for someone whose frequency syncs with mine. It’s hard to find people who have the same vibe. So, I really like you. I even invited the lead singer of a band that disbanded ten years ago to perform for you. The night we watched the performance together was the happiest time I’ve had in years.”

Gu Yi closed LOFTER, feeling a sense of hidden sadness and guilt. As for Xu Guanrui, apart from quietly writing music reviews behind the scenes, he didn’t seek her out again. This emotion, veiled in sincere feelings, became inspiration. Not wanting the other person to know about it—could this be a form of emotional inhibition?

Before she could think it through, her phone rang. It was Yu Dule. His voice was direct: “Do you know who approached you yesterday at the antelope club?”

“I don’t know. Which scammer was it? I don’t trust anyone at that club anymore.”

“It’s another one of our bosses. He went to the open mic, heard your stand-up, and saw your Weibo post about defending your rights. He thinks your management skills and aesthetic are great, and he wants to invite you to join our company as a new media operations manager.”

“Ah?” Gu Yi regretted her previous expression of frustration, “Is it too late to go look for him now?”

“It might not be too late. But he’s confused. He wonders why you were in such a rush to leave and didn’t want to give him a chance. Also, it seemed like you weren’t interested in watching the other performances either.”

Gu Yi looked at the man walking towards her. “Liang Daiwen drove me to the camping site. Guess what kind of car he drove? A 2000 Jetta, the air conditioner blows out frost.”

“Has love frozen your brain? Get back here when you can.”

“An interview?”

“That’s not urgent. But—Guang Xingxin’s virtual idol group seems to have fired her.”