Chapter 29

If you’re not justified, don’t spare the enemy.

In the TV shows, when someone gets taken to the police station, they are often seen squatting, holding their heads in a corner, as if it’s the first stage of punishment. But when you’re actually arrested, you realize the mediation room is warm and bright, with a musty smell, like an old house. The police in the interrogation room aren’t as fierce as you’d expect. Pointing at the three young men who had been drinking and flirting, one officer said, “You drank so much, aren’t you afraid of ending up in a detention center when you sober up?”

“Big brother, it’s a misunderstanding. We just wanted to add her on WeChat, how did it turn into a fight?”

Lu Ming was still adjusting his cufflinks, speaking little but with emotion: “Threatening a girl’s privacy, adding her on WeChat—what’s the point? To harass her?”

The police officer gestured for Lu Ming to be quiet.

Gu Yi sat in a position where she could see the computer screen. Outside the small recording screen, she could clearly see the folder categories—network fraud, provoking trouble, home robbery... She was busy absorbing materials and brainstorming jokes when the officer shot her a glare: “What are you doing? Move further away.”

“I’m a stand-up comedian...” Gu Yi mumbled.

“I told you to move,” the officer snapped.

Gu Yi obediently scooted her chair back. Guan Xingxin was lost in thought, her first time at the police station, with a pitiful expression of a victim. She was trembling as she spoke. Lu Ming draped his coat over her shoulders, his hand leaving her before pulling her close to his chest to help her with the statement. The troublemaker spoke again with a mocking tone: “Please, stop pretending. Didn’t you sleep with a married man?”

The police officer glanced at Guan Xingxin and pointed his pen at Lu Ming: “Put your fists down, it’s your turn.”

Gu Yi’s phone wasn’t confiscated. She still hadn’t replied to Xu Guanrui’s message. He had shared a song, “Moon River,” and cautiously asked, “So, when you said you’re in unrequited love at ounce, what kind of person are you referring to?”

She clenched her phone, her nose tingling at the thought of Liang Daiwen. Even though she had a friend to go through this difficult time with, the feeling of “losing freedom” and “shame” was overwhelming. It was only two or three months, but when she was vulnerable, Liang Daiwen was always there. Now, loneliness was exposed in the air, making her panic. Without anyone to care for her, what she had thought was strength was just a naked confrontation with solitude.

Guan Xingxin murmured, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s because of me that the fight escalated. If I get a criminal record... it’s enough for only me to be dirty.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Recently, I went to ounce to find Yu Dule. The wooden stairs to the second floor were long, and I wore light shoes. Halfway up, I had the mischievous thought to scare him. There were people talking upstairs. One said, ‘The woman you like is known for sleeping with others, and she’s also a live-streamer who accepts tips. Doesn’t that disgust you? It must, right?’ I just reached the second floor when Yu Dule, with his back to me, was smoking. He replied, ‘What does that have to do with me?’ The man laughed for a long time, and I quickly retreated down the stairs... You can never completely forget an ‘incident,’ right?”

By 3 a.m., everyone in the room was exhausted. After the police had completed the questioning and injury verification, each word in the mediation was worth money. The shop owner had probably been troubled by such incidents more than once, and the compensation would be based on that. Gu Yi felt sorry for Lu Ming, his mouth swollen from the fight, and he ended up owing more. The three young men with yellow hair refused the mediation, insisting that Lu Ming should pay for the damages first. The police said, “Then we’ll proceed with the case. Everyone go to the detention center. You’ll still have to mediate afterward. Think it over.”

Gu Yi, still pondering whether she should ask for leave, sent a message to Xu Guanrui: “Sorry, I’m at the station now and couldn’t reply earlier.” She then glanced at the three troublemakers, still hesitating. The officer slammed the notebook onto the table: “Think about it yourself. I’m changing shifts. I don’t have time to deal with you. There are all kinds of people in the detention center. Fight and brawl all you want, you’ll have lots to discuss.”

Seizing the opportunity, Gu Yi looked at the computer screen. She had absorbed enough material by now. The shortest-haired yellow-haired guy finally gave in: “Fine, we’ll pay. I still need to work tomorrow, missing a day’s wages is worse.”

After leaving the mediation room, Gu Yi still felt a bit reluctant and envious of the police officers—there were so many jokes on the floor, just pick them up and use them on stage. She had been sitting so long, her legs soft and aching from hunger. By 5 a.m., Lu Ming’s car to the set was leaving from Xinzhuang for Jiaxing, and he was going to miss it. He didn’t seem to care much, his fingers cracking as he said, “This type of show can still be taken, but I can’t stand seeing you all suffer.”

He said “you all” instead of “you,” maintaining a distance. The first light of dawn fell on Guan Xingxin, and her smile in return to Lu Ming seemed to signal a deeper connection. As she turned, her heart skipped a beat—Liang Daiwen was standing not far away, turned around, took a deep breath, and looked like he was about to show an expression, as if saying, “I’ve been waiting for a long time.”

Guan Xingxin ran over and hugged Liang Daiwen: “Sorry, I might have overreacted. I just didn’t know who to turn to.”

“It was a bit harsh. Bringing up the bail and probation made it sound like you thought they were murderers.”

She kept her eyes on Gu Yi while saying this. Guan Xingxin pulled away from the hug and saw the bruise on Liang Daiwen’s neck. She immediately turned to Gu Yi and asked, “Little rabbit, did you do this?”

“A dog bit me,” Liang Daiwen said expressionlessly.

Guan Xingxin raised an eyebrow. “You only get bitten when you’re liked. Once you’ve been through it, you become immune.”

“But it still hurts.”

She suddenly realized she couldn’t call him by his name so easily. That name, with its subtle rhythm, every time she spoke it, it felt as though some part of his soul’s dust got caught in her teeth and lips. Over time, she could understand everything about him. At that moment, she finally understood that the meaning of “hurt” was that he liked her.

What was she waiting for? Was she waiting for Liang Daiwen to come over and hug him? Or was she waiting for him to come close and say, “Look, I knew it, you can’t do without me”—had she gotten used to it over the past few months? Now, he was so miserable, yet still had to rely on her to save him. It didn’t matter if no one else understood; at least she understood. For a moment, she felt a little moved, receiving the signal from Liang Daiwen—signal successfully received. But how could she tell him the signal had been received so early? The signal needed to be stronger, more obvious, so he could accept it too. She thought with a touch of mischief that negative emotions really did help increase one’s ability to empathize. What could she do now to make him empathize more? After all, he was just as hurt as she was—only then could it be considered an apology.

A taxi pulled up, and Gu Yi turned around, her mind focused on one thought: after sending rockets to God last time, this time, it was the carnival. Not just herself, but even Guan Xingxin and Lu Ming were stunned. Lu Ming said, “Well, looks like we’re not acting anymore, we’re just watching the show.”

Out came Xu Guanrui, wearing a hoodie and sneakers, still half-asleep. “Ah, you’re out already. We were fine yesterday at the performance, but how did you suddenly end up in the police station? I thought it’d be fine, but when I got your message late last night, maybe you couldn’t find anyone to help, I got a little worried, so I came…”

As the figures shifted, he saw Liang Daiwen. It was as if the question he had left unanswered in the dead of night was now resolved with the morning’s earthy air. Liang Daiwen’s gaze was fixed on Xu Guanrui, and Xu Guanrui’s smile was distributed meaningfully between Liang Daiwen and Gu Yi, nodding knowingly. Everything fell silent, the street vendors, the vehicles, the shutter doors... Gu Yi was caught in the middle, feeling this strange premonition—adulthood was made of countless moments of timing, events happening casually, yet fitting together in different times to form right or wrong relationships between people.

This time, Liang Daiwen didn’t show the same hostility he had in the secret room. “I’m catching a flight to Beijing. If you’re fine, I’ll leave first.”

What? He wasn’t jealous this time? Was her signal not received?

Just as she was in an awkward moment, the police officer finished his shift and called from behind, “Hey, Little Gu, Gu Yi, come over here.”

Is there more left to finish? Gu Yi shrank her neck. “You called me?”

“Add me on WeChat. Can you talk about your stand-up comedy with the police?”

This was too bizarre. Gu Yi couldn’t have imagined that during a dinner, she would be dragged into the police station, almost detained; even more unexpected was that the material she had painstakingly gathered had gone unused, instead bringing a real police officer. This officer, Pan Tao, in his thirties, was still single, and in his spare time, loved to join in on the fun, sending voice messages to her in a Shanghai dialect that sounded like he was chewing on silver, sending her a stand-up comedy script just for the sake of performing, not for profit, but just for the stage. Gu Yi thought, at least the police officer had a stable job, or else he might be competing for her work.

“Hello, everyone, I’m Pan Tao, a police officer at the police station. It’s a bit sudden to be here today, I know. It’s rare to see a police officer come here, don’t be scared. I’m not here to check fire safety or test your hair. When we wear police uniforms and come to the Ji Lu Road and Xiangyang North Road area, it usually makes the local bars nervous, but today I’m here to perform on stage. Don’t be afraid, of course, if you have anything you want to hide, you might want to tuck it away.” He made a motion like he was pulling a water pipe: “If you want to fight, control yourselves. I know, after drinking, you get impulsive, but why am I here today? Well, I met your actors while handling a case at the police station.”

Gu Yi wanted to sink into the ground.

“Why did I suddenly want to come here? Well, I came to encourage you all to spend your money wisely, otherwise, you’ll be scammed. Recently, I’ve been handling cases, and they’re so dull, repetitive, all we deal with is WeChat fraud. Most of it’s divided into two kinds: one is gold trading scams, the ones that offer cheap deals for gold, like in the Lu Jinso investment group, Haita Securities group, or the wool-grabbing groups, where some sweet-talking boys, with nice looks, add you on WeChat, sending out deals for gold rings at good prices, making old ladies think they’ve struck a bargain. After they pay, the rings are chipped, and they come to report it. The other type is the boys who can’t find a girlfriend. They haven’t had any luck with dating, but suddenly, they meet a beautiful, graceful girl who calls them ‘brother’ every day. After a few calls, they ask for money and gifts. These boys, well, they’re willing to spend a little. As they get closer, the girl’s grandpa gets sick, and they start asking for money. The girl isn’t depending on the man; her grandpa has a tea farm, and buying some tea leaves helps. The boy feels bad for her, sends some money, and later, the girl disappears. When they come to report the case…”

“At first, we felt sorry for these guys. They don’t look great but think highly of themselves, thinking the girl really likes them. Love is mutual, so they did it out of kindness. But after seeing so many cases, we couldn’t help it. We bought a mirror and put it in the interrogation room, asking these guys, ‘Do you see yourselves? Do you see it? It’s mutual, right? You think they’re taking advantage of you, but weren’t you going after their black stockings and low-cut tops in the first place?’ Don’t think we’re making up stories. We’ve got all the evidence from your phones. We know what you’ve talked about and done, whether it’s immoral or not.”

Gu Yi sat down and exchanged a few glances with Yu Dule, then shook her head in embarrassment. “I’m not afraid of professional players, but I’m terrified of talented amateur ones. Luckily, the stand-up comedy industry is poor, with few performance fees, otherwise the siphoning effect would leave both me and Yu Dule starving.” After sending the police officer with the surname Pan away like escorting a monk, promising to see him next time but secretly wishing never to see him again, Gu Yi leaned back on the sofa. “I thought I was unlucky enough to have inspiration, but I didn’t expect people who go to work every day would get new material sent to them.”

Yu Dule, with an e-cigarette between his lips, asked, “How did you end up at the station?”

Not being able to fully tell the truth, Gu Yi rolled her eyes. “Lu Ming and the person at the next table got into an argument, and since I was involved in a case with Guan Xingxin, I got caught up in it too.”

“Is he... close to Guan Xingxin?”

“I don’t really know.”

“What about Liang Daiwen? Was he caught too?”

“He was waiting outside, calm as ever. When he saw we were fine, he calmly went to catch a flight for a business trip.”

“What’s going on with you two? He hasn’t been coming to comedy shows lately either.”

“This slow-burn guy, who knows? I’m in demand too, and he’s lucky he didn’t hear that joke about my mom and the guy I secretly liked. Otherwise, he’d think I like him.” After a few minutes of changing the subject, Gu Yi casually brought it up. “I suddenly can’t remember who performed at Ounce last Tuesday. Do you recall?”

“Oh, Steven. That guy’s annoying. He kept asking me about the video with Guan Xingxin. I had to ignore him since it’s a workplace, but I hope I don’t see him again.”

Gu Yi could almost picture the scene. When Guan Xingxin heard that joke and ran over, Yu Dule had been sitting with his back to her by the window, holding in his anger, wanting to fight, while saying “What does that have to do with me?” His intention was to show indifference, but Guan Xingxin misunderstood it as Yu Dule looking down on her. Everyone has communication barriers, and once words are spoken, the original meaning is often distorted, especially without facial expressions and tone... misunderstandings inevitably arise.

Yu Dule then said, “A few days ago, Guan Xingxin asked me to take my things from her place. I don’t know what that means. Is it because of that video? There are a lot of people buzzing around her because of the hotel video. If she doesn’t need me, she can say so directly. I have no problem with Lu Ming going home, but at least I need to ensure her safety.”

“Don’t think like that—I’ll check it out for you when I have time.” Gu Yi didn’t say it, but internally she rolled her eyes. Yu Dule’s thinking was a bit malicious. Someone like Guan Xingxin, who had been mistreated by a married man, wouldn’t bring Lu Ming back home even if they were close, let alone the fact that Lu Ming had been drunk and fought before...

Yu Dule smoked heavily. “Her place looks safe since it’s a loft, but it’s in a commercial building with a lot of beauty salons and guitar studios. The people there are mixed, and she’s pretty, which can be dangerous.”

“Don’t worry, she’s low-key. She’ll be fine.”

“You probably don’t understand the extent of harassment pretty women face.”

“That’s too offensive.” Although she complained, Gu Yi knew how tumultuous life could be for a beauty. When she went shopping with Guan Xingxin before, Guan Xingxin had been approached three times—people wanting to take pictures, exchange contacts, or just hit on her. Gu Yi, standing beside her, felt like air—she had no value as a bodyguard and felt insignificant compared to the beauty.

Not knowing how to explain it, Gu Yi simply said, “My bag’s backstage. Let’s go clock out together.” She jumped onto the stage and behind the curtain. The backstage, which should have been empty, had someone sitting on the sofa, startling her so much that she tripped and fell over the rug.

Why was Liang Daiwen on the backstage sofa?

She wanted to fall prostrate before him in embarrassment—how humiliating! Just the other day, she had successfully provoked him by walking backward out of the elevator, and now she was making a grand gesture? Behind the red curtain, only the two of them were there. Outside, Yu Dule was still moving the sofa and arranging chairs, making noise, while Gu Yi’s mind was in disarray. Liang Daiwen, dressed in black with neatly trimmed hair, had shed his previous slouchy look. He stood up, exuding a fierce aura. What did this mean? Was he trying to take over her stage?

He simply bent down and helped her up, his movements gentle yet ambiguous, though his expression was cold. Gu Yi made a gesture to refuse and sat on the floor to challenge him—calm down. She wasn’t the woman who would retreat anymore. “What are you doing here?”

She actually stammered!

“You’re pretty too. Don’t listen to what Yu Dule says.”

Gu Yi’s face flushed instantly. “You eavesdropped on us!”

“It’s just a curtain. I was listening openly, not eavesdropping. As for you—what about that joke the other day about unrequited love? Lucky for you, I didn’t hear it.”

“...Didn’t you miss it today?”

“I bought alcohol and added the bartender on WeChat. He had something to do today, so I bribed him to cover for him.”

“You can do that?” She was stunned. How had he managed to buy off the bartender? And she hadn’t even noticed. Of course, the bar was dark and people weren’t allowed to move during performances, but still, how had she missed it? Was Liang Daiwen hiding that well? She hadn’t seen him, and neither had Yu Dule... The bartender, with his pimples on his chin, often wore a black mask that only showed his eyes and nose, making him blend in effortlessly. But this was too sneaky, and Gu Yi was confused. “So... you heard everything I said earlier, including my conversation with Yu Dule?”

“Mm.”

In a panic, she couldn’t even remember what they’d talked about. She only recalled mentioning words like “slow burn,” “in demand,” and “let’s wait and see.”

Stay calm. Must stay calm. She swallowed hard. “Ounce can still bribe the bartender?”

“Not everyone can bribe him. He couldn’t get his hands on the PS game ‘Red Dead Redemption,’ so I gave it to him. Let me remind you, I have communication disorders, but I’m not an idiot. I’m still sharp.”

“So...” Gu Yi was running calculations in her head. Could this be a sign of success in their communication?

“So I came here, to bug you to teach me.”

“Bug?” With his communication disorder, Liang Daiwen was always precise with his words, never ambiguous; but now, he casually dropped a flirtatious line, making it sound like an affectionate confession, and yet he looked completely indifferent, as if saying it in all seriousness. Not finished yet, he pointed at the hickey on his neck. “If you don’t have a reason, then just give up. Did I agree to this?”