WNST - 104

The night was heavy.

Xie Que Shan had only intended to tease Nan Yi. He had always been good at restraint, even when dark tides of desire rose in his eyes. He could always find a way to stop himself.

He thought he could.

She must have seen through his paper tiger nature, so he had to use more dangerous methods to match her strength. Though these methods often led to him being caught up in them too.

At this moment, Nan Yi didn’t avoid him. With eyes glistening with mist, she looked at him quietly. Her long lashes trembled lightly, and a single tear, like a pearl, clung to the edge of her eye, ready to fall. He finally saw the fear and relief in her eyes. It turned out that in her heart, he was precious.

He had originally thought that the water surface was calm as usual, but little did he know, when he stepped in, he discovered it was a violent whirlpool that sucked him in entirely.

At such a short distance, he lost his point of support, feeling as though he was being pushed by the surging waves. All his pretenses collapsed in the water, leaving only himself.

They had both sunk into the deep sea, a place where there was no worldly matter, only the two of them.

He had once thought she was like the reed floating in the water, clinging to him, but in reality, she had long been the butterfly flying silently and boldly toward him.

Nan Yi seemed to have a premonition of what was about to happen. She slowly closed her eyes, waiting for what was to come.

Her trembling eyelids seemed to hide an invitation to journey together—one that involved life and death, and it was a journey of mutual pursuit concerning love and fate.

She faced herself honestly.

The beautiful clothes she wore, the ethical principles she had been taught, were not so important after all. In the wandering world, where today might not bring a tomorrow, the only thing that mattered was the present.

She wore human skin, yet beneath it, she was still a primal beast, surviving by instinct. At this moment, she craved the intimacy of skin-to-skin contact, as if only this could fill the immense void of waiting, to prove the reality of something lost and found.

She had experienced a day of profound sorrow, so let her enjoy this fleeting joy of emptiness.

But after waiting for a while, he remained still, only his hand gliding across her leg, with a force that felt somewhat unnatural. The humid air seemed to have countless water vapors hiding, some of it turning into thin sweat on his palm, some slithering down her body, bubbling with her blood.

She instinctively tensed her legs and opened her eyes, confused, staring at him.

Xie Que Shan smiled faintly, tilting his head, focusing on her. “What are you thinking?”

Nan Yi’s face suddenly flushed deep red, and she felt embarrassed and frustrated, wanting to run—only then did he slowly kiss her.

He kissed her with intricate passion, every inch of his lips tender and lingering, no longer forceful like before. She was kissed to the point where her body went soft, her thoughts were fragmented, and the last bit of clarity in her mind swayed—when did he become such a skilled kisser? This scheming man, always needing to take the initiative, could not bear to be provoked even once, wanting to win by burning her inch by inch.

But she faintly sensed that this kiss was different from their previous intimacy.

He was just as desperate, but desperately trying to cover up the hopelessness, masking it with some kind of artifice.

The proximity of their bodies was an instinct, a last resort. Facing perilous mountains and seas, they were just a speck of dust. They had no choice but to draw closer, a little closer, as if by doing so they could share their vulnerabilities and armors, intertwining to warm each other, drawing enough strength to endure the cold.

But they were just themselves. What could human will resist?

No one knew where this solitary boat would go; the only thing they could hold onto was each other’s hand.

The spring rain fell heavily beneath the eaves.

Inside the window, the curtains hung low, and the gauzy robe lay discarded at her side.

He swiftly removed her waistband, and her hands were busy trying to strip him of his clothes in return. But the clasp of his jade belt was tricky, and she didn’t know how to untie it, growing more flustered as she fumbled with it.

On her bare arm, only a bracelet dangled, looking out of place.

He grabbed her wrist without hesitation and tried to remove the bracelet.

Nan Yi was startled and immediately blurted, “Don’t take it off.”

Her voice was urgent and soft, with a hint of breathlessness.

She was about to explain, but he quickly interrupted her with a hoarse voice, his eyes gleaming in the dim light like a wild wolf. “Don’t say it. Don’t mention him.”

She was caught off guard by his harshness, feeling a bit lost. Slowly, she sensed something, raising her hand to hook his neck, trying to see his expression more clearly. A smile unconsciously formed on her lips, and in her dazed eyes, a glimmer of cunning appeared. “Xie Que Shan, are you jealous?”

It wasn’t just jealousy. He was possessive, petty, and even manic—very frightening. At the edge of some boundary, all his emotions were magnified infinitely. A step back and he still had control, but one more inch, and he would turn into a beast, wanting to possess her entirely.

She had no intention to seduce him, but her voice was soft and coquettish, like a red thread tying from her ear to her heart, pulling gently, causing him to shudder. He forgot all boundaries, covering her mouth with his hand, the other sliding under her skirt.

The cold and heat invaded simultaneously, and her first uncontrollable moan was swallowed in his fingers.

She could no longer form a coherent sentence, her throat only able to emit small animal-like whimpers and moans. The tassel of her hairpin swayed on her loose bun, making a soft rustling sound.

The spring night extinguished the charcoal fire, but a trace of cold still lingered, and her skin felt as cold as white porcelain, instinctively wanting to get closer to him.

He cleared his mind to kiss her eyes. The stubble growing on his chin was soft yet sharp, grazing her cheek. She finally came back to her senses, opened her foggy eyes to look at him. She reached out to embrace him, and his body cooperated, collapsing down on her.

Her hand slowly moved across his shoulder and back, her fingertips sliding over his firm muscles, as hard as iron, like an impenetrable fortress.

She felt lost, and in the peak of desire, some illusions emerged. It was as if every bow he drew, every sword he unsheathed, left a mark on him. Every night and day he had spent crossing thousands of mountains and rivers had built the walls of him, and now, everything that he had been, everything he had gone through, was laid bare before her, blending into her body, over and over again.

They were in the deep sea, in hell, sinking together in this secret, unspoken night.

No matter where the autumn frost may fall.

...

Until dawn, her soul hadn’t returned to her body, her legs trembling as she lay in his arms. But she didn’t want to sleep, feeling as though something would slip away in an instant.

Finally, unable to resist the overwhelming exhaustion, her half-closed eyelids couldn’t be lifted anymore.

She didn’t know how long she had slept, but in a daze, she heard someone calling “Xie Que Shan” outside, as if something urgent had happened. She regained some awareness but was still deep in her dreams, unwilling to release his hand.

Xie Que Shan gently kissed her forehead, then slowly withdrew his hand, whispering in her ear that he would return by night.

She remained trapped in her slumber, unaware of the time, until a ray of sunset fell upon the window frame, and she finally stirred awake.

Her feet touched the wooden floor, and the aged boards creaked unexpectedly. As her steps halted, the sound stopped too, and the surrounding silence felt almost surreal, with even the distant chirping of crows being crystal clear.

Had it not been for the soreness in her body, she might have thought everything from last night had been a dream.

She put on her clothes and rose, her brain slowly returning to clarity. She realized this was Xie Que Shan’s Jing Feng residence, likely due to his haste in leaving; the mess from last night hadn’t been cleaned up—clothes scattered on the floor, hairpins and combs tossed about, and the screen, painted in disarray, still stood there like an unsettling ruin.

After a while, Nan Yi remembered that he had said he would return by night, but it seemed he hadn’t come back yet.

She guessed that Wan Yan Jun was not easy to deal with, and Xie Que Shan must have been delayed by various trivial matters. She gathered the scattered clothes and tidied up before quietly preparing to sneak back to her own courtyard.

The problem was, she couldn’t even get past a single wall now.

She had no choice but to sneak out through the front door. Hiding by the wall, she waited for a while and, when the coast was clear, hurried to the corridor, trying to act casual as if just passing by.

As soon as she turned the corner, she encountered a group of female servants. They greeted her politely, but she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt, her face flushing red, fearing that something unusual might be noticed.

When indulging, she had only thought about throwing caution to the wind, ignoring tomorrow, but now, awake, she realized the mess was still there—and perhaps had even worsened.

This was Wang Xue Wu, after all; they still had to live here, face to face with each other. What would they do moving forward?

Nan Yi thought to herself that she could no longer stay at Wang Xue Wu as the young mistress.

However, this matter had to be discussed with Xie Que Shan when he returned. She needed to figure out the safest way to leave and how she would act in the future, what identity she would hold in Li Du Prefecture.

Her thoughts were a chaotic mess. When he returned, how should she face him in front of others?

Turning off the lights was one thing, but walking in the bright daylight was another. She couldn’t let anyone detect anything odd.

She stiffened her expression, slightly nodding toward the empty air.

No, this wouldn’t do. It seemed too pretentious. Everyone feared him. If she acted aloof, wouldn’t it raise suspicion?

Maybe it would be better to keep her head down and greet him respectfully. When no one was watching, she could give him a look, signaling to meet him.

No, no, that was too inappropriate.

She laughed softly at herself, realizing she was still thinking about propriety.

Her mind a swirl of random thoughts, she stumbled back to her room.

The sky darkened again, and Nan Yi spent the day in a fog. She boiled water, washed herself, and collapsed onto the bed, falling asleep immediately.

The next day, Xie Que Shan still hadn’t returned.