Chapter 76

One must learn to accept the limited self, the limited emotions, and the not-so-stretching life.

It was Gu Yi’s first time at Google. On the 57th floor of the Shanghai World Financial Center, she overlooked the Lujiazui night view. The skyline was so dazzling, and the glass reflections made her feel like she was immersed in the night sky. At the entrance, she received a visitor card with her name on it. She followed Liang Daiwen into the cafeteria and was stunned— it was five times bigger than a hotel’s executive lounge, simple yet elegant; both Chinese and Western dishes, an array of options. Gu Yi straightened her back, trying not to appear too naïve, while frantically piling meat onto her plate. Liang Daiwen saw her plate, stacked high with only meat and not a single leaf of greens, and couldn’t resist commenting: “Oh my God, do I not give you enough meat?”

“I’m starving, I’m starving,” Gu Yi almost cried. “I went to Peninsula this afternoon for a shoot because I was so annoyed with Zhang Qingya. I had to maintain the image of wearing a dress without a belly, I didn’t eat a single bite.”

“Why compare yourself to her? She spends her time in the gym and beauty clinics, freezing fat off when she can’t lose weight. All that money to get rid of it.”

“You know so much.”

“She used to supervise and was always on calls with personal trainers and consultants in my office.”

Liang Daiwen rarely mentioned these things, but since he was willing to gossip, was this a sign of him opening up? Still, Gu Yi couldn’t resist: “I’m jealous. You know too much about her.”

Someone walked by: “Devin, is this your girlfriend?”

“Yeah.” Liang Daiwen suddenly shyly pinched her nose: “Would you like to introduce yourself? I mean, I don’t know how to introduce a stand-up comedian…”

This made Gu Yi feel embarrassed: “What should I do, should I perform a bit?”

After standing up and awkwardly greeting some colleagues, both of them were blushing. One was embarrassed by the question about why she didn’t join a stand-up comedy show (misunderstood as lacking skill), and the other had revealed he had a girlfriend and was teased for hiding it too much. It took Gu Yi a while to realize: “Oh, your admirer from Harvard is actually your colleague...”

Liang Daiwen pinched her nose, and the man across from them narrowed his eyes, showing increasingly refined control of his expressions: “You’re really possessive. I politely rejected them, but we can still work together as friends. Stop being sour.”

Gu Yi had finished the entire plate of meat with rice. Looking at the cakes from afar, she pouted: “I was too excited earlier, I can’t eat anymore.”

“Greedy,” Liang Daiwen said dryly.

Gu Yi had high hopes for Liang Daiwen’s desk, but there was nothing unusual about it. Besides a computer, two screens, and a potted plant, there was nothing else that reflected his personal style. Just as she was about to leave the area, she spotted a yellow duck beak in the drawer by his legs. She couldn’t resist and opened the drawer, but Liang Daiwen quickly blocked her and locked it: “Go wait for me outside.”

It was a Disney Donald Duck headpiece she had given him.

“Immature.”

Because it was a small team, they had an eight-person office. Outside the door was a screen wall showing an accessible video, the one Liang Daiwen had presented at a conference about cerebral palsy and essential tremor. The screen displayed a subtitle: “Don’t be evil. We strongly believe that in the long term, we will be better served as shareholders and in all other ways by a company that does good things for the world even if we forgo some short-term gains.”

Gu Yi stood in front of the screen, thinking for a long time. Liang Daiwen squeezed her neck: “Work’s over.”

His movement was as natural as if he were lifting a cat.

On the way, Gu Yi couldn’t help but ask if working at such a great place made him feel particularly proud. Liang Daiwen responded calmly: “There are pros and cons. The biggest advantage is that this is the only company in the country with an accessible designer position, but the downside is that it’s too peripheral. It’s not a core department, so there are many trivial, meaningless tasks. And some people don’t understand why a CMU computer science grad would be doing this. They gossip that it’s all for show.”

“Is it hard to get along with your colleagues?”

“For you, it would definitely be suffocating. Everyone is respectful, independent, with clear boundaries—friendships are distant. But for me, it’s the perfect way. No need to force friendships, everything is handled in a gentlemanly and restrained manner.” Liang Daiwen loosened his collar in the night breeze. “On the streets, you don’t see disabled people, so people think that everyone lives a normal life. Then, our work seems superfluous.”

Gu Yi looked at Liang Daiwen, who was now completely focused, not at all like someone without emotions: “This office building within a three-kilometer radius houses some of the most elite people. Modern technology seems to cater to them—new, fast, chasing trends. I often use this example: current products are ‘sleek and clean,’ but they don’t offer real help. Many people haven’t read a book; when they pick up their phones, all they see are useless short videos. The outlet for their frustrations is keyboard warrior behavior. And even more people don’t have phones, completely abandoned by society—this is the terrifying part of the capitalist tower.”

“Is this kind of empathy meaningful?” Gu Yi asked gently. “When you tell me, I can understand and find the idea interesting, but if it isn’t shared with more people, no one will know. You’ve held sharing sessions before, and you shouldn’t stop. You need a channel for more people to know, accept, and then pass it on. I remember a junior who studied social work. When she applied for graduate school, her tuition increased from 70,000 to 100,000, and no dorms were provided. She gave up and switched to studying finance. You can do this job because you’re not financially stressed. And... you might want to take care of yourself. Working all night and being upset over work easily harms you. You still haven’t learned how to protect yourself from emotional hurt.”

Liang Daiwen was silent for a long time before smiling. “You’re right.”

They chatted all the way until they got out of the car. The wind blew through their hair, making it messy. Liang Daiwen stood under a phoenix tree, closing his eyes. He said, “There was a time I liked wearing sunglasses, inspired by Guan Xingxin. She said when you’re a little blind, with zero vision, all your other senses become more acute.”

Gu Yi asked, “What did you feel?”

“It didn’t work on me. Only my hearing became richer, and my logic became more precise. Nothing related to the heart.”

“Maybe you should try now.”

“How?”

“Close your eyes.”

Such a moment was perfect for kissing. Gu Yi stood on tiptoe and gently kissed his lips, then playfully brushed against his teeth. The warm summer night made the contact between their lips and teeth feel even more intimate. In the elevator, she still wanted to tease him, but Liang Daiwen firmly held her hands: “Be good, the elevator has cameras.”

She didn’t care, her hands roamed over his body, bolder than if she’d been drunk, purposely touching the sensitive spots. His hands stopped her, but she pulled them back to continue attacking other places. The two of them were playfully fighting in the elevator. Gu Yi thought to herself that being so eager for his body was truly dangerous, especially with the abstinent Liang Daiwen. While Liang Daiwen in his wild phase was charming, she found it more satisfying to seduce him deliberately.

When they reached the door, Liang Daiwen pressed her against it: “You’re pushing it.”

Though she had a faint idea this might happen, Gu Yi still felt a sense of triumph. Once he started “marking” her in the elevator, she knew this passive man couldn’t resist such unexpected teasing. He undid the clasp on her dress with one hand, touching her sensitive spots through the fabric, his fingers brushing over her skin, his stubble scraping her neck as he kissed her collarbone and earlobes. His hand slid beneath her underwear but only teased. They didn’t even bother undressing fully; it was enough to make her ache, with her chest no longer held by the steel bra, her body burning with need. She couldn’t push him away, begging, “We might be heard if we stay here. You can’t do this as revenge.”

“Did you not already lose control? Why do we need to go to the bed?”

“Then you…”

“What about me?”

“…”

“Say it.”

“You come in...”

He smiled a little, pinching her backside but still not letting her move away from the door. He turned her around and whispered in her ear, “You always get a bit mischievous with these things.”

Hearing his voice made her body tingle. She kicked off her high heels, her clothes barely on, her underwear hanging from her knees. She stood on tiptoe as he kissed her from behind, soft moans caught between their lips, not allowed to scream. Liang Daiwen teased her deliberately, nibbling on her ear, then kissing her neck, and once she was distracted, he struck again, waiting for her to squeal in surprise. They didn’t finish there—after a shower, they rolled around on the bed. Only after some time did she feel satisfied, the pleasure flowing down her abdomen.

“Hey.”

“Mm?”

“You seem to be gentle every time you come in. It doesn’t hurt.”

“You don’t know why?”

Gu Yi turned red, silent.

Liang Daiwen chuckled. “We always play adult games, but when you get anxious, you come find trouble with me.”

“...” How did he know?

“Zhang Qingya is my senior. She’s been married for many years. She confessed to me, but that was years ago. She once pulled me to design a project because she saw how lonely I was in the Computer Science department, unwilling to ask my family for money. I went to work, broke my ribs, ended up in the hospital.” Liang Daiwen pointed to a shallow scar on his side. “I fell and was hit by a beer crate, didn’t expect that. She’s like a sister to me, worried a lot, but I didn’t appreciate it—she didn’t accept that I was in a relationship with you. It’s even now. I promised to keep my distance, but please don’t mention her again. This kind of concern... it actually makes me uncomfortable.”

Gu Yi looked at Liang Daiwen, who had stubble on his face. Indeed, these memories were hard to erase—meeting a reclusive, distant boy from a broken family in a foreign land could indeed stir up some maternal affection. Adults don’t have many ways to alleviate anxiety, and when communication fails, most rely on physical closeness to transfer warmth. But the sadness that lingered in her heart had nothing to do with Zhang Qingya. Some of it had been left behind when Liang Daiwen desperately pursued her, leaving her with a constant sense of insecurity. It was only when she hung laundry on the clothesline that she would feel a sense of peace. Looking at Liang Daiwen’s profile, he was still as gentle and sincere as ever, but at such a close distance, she couldn’t reach out to him. What exactly was it, she couldn’t figure it out.

Everything was as usual. Following Gu Yi’s advice, Liang Daiwen rented an afternoon at the Rongmao Theater, where he carefully organized an accessibility sharing session. The living room was filled with white folding chairs, and Liang Daiwen had bought a new projector. The theme was different from the previous one—”The Newer the Phone Feature, the Further You Drift from These People.” Most of the attendees were young people, wearing polo shirts, plaid shirts, glasses, and a few plainly dressed students, including... Jacqueline Zhang Qingya and Huang Wenda. Why did these people keep showing up recently? So unlucky!

Liang Daiwen saw Zhang Qingya from afar and greeted her before adjusting the projector seriously. Gu Yi was busy running around, occasionally glancing at the three people in the front row, quickly figuring it out—Zhang Qingya had dragged Jacqueline to relax over the weekend, and Huang Wenda’s pursuit of her hadn’t ended yet. He hadn’t missed the chance to join her outing. Looking at Jacqueline moving her chair, it was obvious she wanted to stay far away from the “broom star.”

The sharing session started on time, as Liang Daiwen never delayed.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome to today’s sharing session. I’m Liang Daiwen, an accessibility designer at Google. I’ve held two sharing sessions before, and recently I’ve gained some new insights at work, so I want to share them with you. What brand of phone does everyone use? Apple? Huawei? It should be a relatively new model, with high camera pixels and fast system speed. In recent years, as phones transitioned from keyboards to full screens, and the interface style changed from skeuomorphism to flat design, similar buttons across different apps have developed into some conventional symbols—such as three horizontal lines representing a menu, or a box with a horizontal line for the scan feature. Young people, who evolved with these phones, can adapt quickly, but for elderly people and those with disabilities, it may not be so user-friendly. Have our technological advancements gradually left these people behind? In fact, there are some functions we tend to overlook. For example, the magnifier function on phones, like a close-up viewer, can zoom in on things many times over. This is especially important for people with albinism and visual impairments. Another example is the voice function on WeChat. Everyone finds it annoying, but it was originally designed for people with disabilities who cannot type...”

Gu Yi listened intently, watching Liang Daiwen shine on stage. She felt a bit of longing for such moments—the Liang Daiwen at work, like a new side of him, wise, serious, invested, full of passion. He wasn’t doing this just for his mother; exploring these fascinating, unexplored areas seemed to really drive him forward.

“Since joining the company, I’ve had more research funding and channels, so I’ve learned more about people with disabilities. In China, one in every seven people has a disability, but we rarely see them. People in wheelchairs use phones, and even those with high spinal cord injuries do. It’s important to raise awareness of accessibility in product design from the beginning. If we consider everyone from the start, we can avoid a lot of trouble later. If we wait until the product is launched and then make accessibility adjustments, it’s basically starting over. We can’t assume all users are young, healthy, and tech-savvy. Many people use phones out of necessity, and facial recognition or QR code payments are particularly difficult for elderly people and those who cannot hold a phone...”

A door opened—Guan Xingxin quietly entered and sat in the empty chair next to Huang Wenda. Gu Yi found it strange; the seats behind her were all full. Had Huang Wenda saved a seat for Guan Xingxin? He was still talking to her: “Have you participated in any variety shows?”

“Yeah... I filmed a pilot episode today.”

Gu Yi was a little surprised; Guan Xingxin was filming a variety show? Trying to suppress her confusion, she tried to focus on Liang Daiwen’s sharing session but was distracted by the conversation behind her. Huang Wenda’s voice, though low, was incredibly annoying—his unique tone could probably be heard two kilometers away. And of course, the topic turned to him: “Gu Yi, right? Pretty outstanding, huh? Otherwise, I wouldn’t have snatched you over to my company. You’d be a great PR candidate.”

“Don’t think about poaching my people.” Jacqueline’s voice was cold and sharp. “You can steal anyone from my team, but don’t think you can take my trusted assistant.”

“She already left to pursue her beloved talk show. You’re still here being delusional.” Huang Wenda, with his hands in his pockets, wearing shorts and barefoot in leather shoes, looked every bit the businessman. “Didn’t want to raise her salary, did you? If you offered her 25k, she would’ve stayed immediately.”

“There’s no such rule. Senior copywriters at ‘Yi Zhou’ earn a maximum of 18k. She wasn’t qualified.”

“The rules are set by you. You’re the editor-in-chief,” Huang Wenda shook his head. “I told you to join my company as a partner, you can offer any salary, why bother keeping people like that? Roger, that old weasel, is pressing down on you, always finding opportunities for his mistresses to get salary raises. I don’t believe you didn’t see it.”

Gu Yi leaned in a little. This was the first time she was hearing such gossip. Huang Wenda didn’t stop: “There’s someone named Pony, Roger’s ex-girlfriend. After they married, Roger switched partners, but the salary stayed high, almost the same as yours.”

“Stop talking. It’s too noisy.” Jacqueline touched her pocket, signaling Zhang Qingya to go outside for a smoke. Huang Wenda stretched out his leg. “Sit down. I’m not done talking yet.”

This was bad—Liang Daiwen’s face looked awful. Gu Yi gently stopped him: “Please be quiet, you’re disturbing the session.”

“We’re talking because of you. Jacqueline doesn’t want you to leave, so she’s trying to keep you here. Otherwise, why would she come? She would’ve gone back to ‘Yi Zhou’ for overtime.”

Gu Yi was a little dazed. Jacqueline stopped him first: “Shut up.”

“I only say this because I understand you too well. Holding back and not trying to keep your subordinates, it’s just like how you didn’t explain anything to me before breaking up. If you have something to say, just say it, okay?”

“Stop always bringing up our past, it’s annoying.”

“Then you…”

Before she could finish, Liang Daiwen suddenly spoke, “Excuse me, the few people sitting in the first row, could you please leave?”

The living room fell silent. The audience all turned to look at the corner of the first row, where Gu Yi was standing against the wall, suddenly under everyone’s scrutiny. She felt a little uncomfortable, but thankfully it wasn’t her.

Huang Wenda found it amusing: “Are you talking about me?”

“Yes, I’m talking about you, and your three companions.”

“Sorry. Let’s not talk about this anymore, go ahead.”

“No, please leave. Your voices are seriously disturbing the sharing session, and since you can keep talking, it shows you’re not interested in my content. There are others standing outside, so please give the seats to people who need them. No matter who you are, please don’t disturb the session. This is a place for sharing about accessible design. Many people will benefit from my sharing, and some may be inspired to create things that change the world. This is definitely not your playground,” Liang Daiwen said seriously. “Please leave.”

“You think you’re someone important? What’s the point of this meaningless sharing? What change could it possibly bring? Capital only protects the tip of the pyramid…”

“Please leave.”

His tone left no room for refusal. Huang Wenda, feeling bored, turned around and walked away. Zhang Qingya forced a smile and hurriedly pulled Jacqueline to leave. Liang Daiwen stared with sharp eyes, then turned his gaze to Gu Yi: “And you.”

The words pushed her away, as if she were a thousand miles away. She obediently stepped out of the crowd, closed the door, and when she saw the others again, it seemed like they were shocked too. It was rare for Gu Yi to see Liang Daiwen, who was usually distant and almost devout to his work, expel people from his sharing session like he was purging heretics disturbing a sermon. She didn’t expect to be one of those being expelled.

A hidden pain began to surface—like a sharp corner, with an iceberg beneath. Both she and Liang Daiwen knew too well what they were pursuing. One had partially overcome emotional barriers, while the other’s life was still a bit rough and uncertain. Would they really be able to give each other complete security?

This seemed like just the beginning.