Chapter 48

In the silent receiver, one breath means I care about you, two breaths mean I like you, three breaths mean...

Apart from work, Gu Yi lay in bed for a week, feeling listless. The one most concerned about her was Xu Guanrui, who had been sent to Korea and still called her overseas. In a bathroom in Hongdae, he spoke over the phone: “It’s so damn noisy here, I really didn’t want to come if it wasn’t for the business trip. Korean really sounds rude, it’s all yelling... Do you have a favorite celebrity? I’m going to KBS tomorrow, I’ll get an autograph for you...”

After hanging up, Gu Yi felt like she was burning up with a fever, dizzy and exhausted. Liang Daiwen’s chat window had been silent for a long time, buried several screens deep. She habitually glanced at the camera when opening the door and, after shutting it, walked back and forth in her room wearing size 43 sneakers that didn’t fit, almost tripping several times.

The trash cat was quietly still, and the robot showed no response.

She had lost a few pounds, and her clothes were a size smaller. When Gu Yi arrived at the office, her complexion was pale. Jacqueline glanced at her during the meeting. Since that drunken night, the stern leader seemed to pay more attention to her, and her workload had only increased. After the meeting, Jacqueline seemed to remember something: “This afternoon, there’s a talk with HF Designer Union at Bulgari, Lindsey is going with me.”

Gu Yi mainly handled new media, dealing with backend data traffic every day. It was supposed to be Pony’s job to attend events with Jacqueline, but given that Bypass might need to release an article or maybe Jacqueline was satisfied with her recent image, Gu Yi carefully touched up her makeup. The car drove along Tiantong Road, with the old, low buildings of the 7 Pu Road fashion wholesale market on the left, and two tall Italian-style buildings on the right, adjacent to the renovated Shanghai General Chamber of Commerce and the North Suzhou River. A glance captured the folded nature of Shanghai. Jacqueline’s high heels dangled from the tops of her feet, and her cheekbones seemed even more hollow than before, but her appearance didn’t feel as cold, as she squinted and put on sunglasses: “The client specifically asked me to bring you. Where did you two meet?”

“I don’t even know who the client is...” The car turned into a clean parking lot, the black-and-gold Bulgari logo on the ground looking imposing and elegant. Jacqueline rarely reached out and pinched her neck: “Pull yourself together, don’t embarrass me.”

If it weren’t for work, Gu Yi would never have come to the Bulgari hotel in her life. Following Jacqueline inside, the elevator went straight to the apartment. The two model rooms were opened up in the middle for the event, a 600-square-meter space. Gu Yi looked around: luxurious, the atmosphere lighter than the club downstairs, but she couldn’t connect the space with the feeling of home. The two connected living rooms were spacious, with abundant natural light and a clear visual flow, but not at all cozy. All the furniture was in dark brown with creamy-colored walls, and the sofas were Burgundy red. The bookshelves were filled with thick art books made from copper-plate paper, giving off a texture that also created a sense of distance. The mirrors were from the top Italian brand Alessio, and the kitchen lacked any warmth, as if it could only make cold dishes. The bedroom had three floor-to-ceiling windows, and the bathroom’s glass walls provided a view of Lujiazui, everything in full view.

At the HF Designer Union’s sharing session, brochures were neatly arranged on the table, displaying the names of Zhang Qingya and several designers, with “Tsingya Chang” in gold-foil italic font at the front, just like her elegant and refined face. The disruptive girls who had been seen at the previous accessibility session also appeared, dressed in eccentric outfits, sitting on chairs in front of Gu Yi, with the legs of the chairs almost pressing against her shoes.

Gu Yi’s work at the magazine had its merits. After conducting interviews for so long, she had developed a habit of looking at everyone at eye level, regardless of their status. The living room sofa was used as a stage, with the audience divided into two areas: one section consisted of media from traditional magazines and million-follower attitude aesthetic bloggers sitting at a long dining table surrounded by afternoon tea, while the other was in the second living room, filled with sofas and racks of ready-to-wear clothes selected specifically for the socialites present—rich girls and wealthy wives at an afternoon salon. At 3 PM, wealthy girls walked past her, their expressions indifferent to the food, as if nothing there interested them.

It wasn’t until Liang Daiwen walked in through the door that things changed. A group of girls whispered, talking about his unique aura, and Gu Yi’s heart sank sharply. She avoided their gaze and stepped around a corner. Zhang Qingya, elegantly walking in, was today’s patron of the furniture design world, a well-known curator, bringing along proud designers for a sharing session at a top luxury hotel, inviting media and bloggers to write articles. In Gu Yi’s private words, it was a way for her to buy some traffic.

Hiding behind a blogger, Gu Yi stole a glance at Liang Daiwen. It had been days since they last saw each other, and Liang Daiwen had lost weight. Sitting on the sofa, he looked very serious, not smiling, neither humble nor arrogant. When someone spoke to him, he simply shook his head to refuse, with no sign of the usual Korean-style smile.

The first session was a discussion between Zhang Qingya and several designers. Liang Daiwen sat beside them, wearing a black shirt with stubble, a sharp contrast to his usual neat and clean image, silent and taciturn. Gu Yi, hidden in the crowd, was about ten meters away from the main stage in the living room. The media sat at the front, and she was only responsible for gathering materials for the article. The designers, who made a living from high-paying design projects, were dressed in eccentric outfits, but they all made sure to show goodwill toward Zhang Qingya. The host, a blogger, clearly admired Liang Daiwen, and kept directing questions to him: “Today, Devin’s sofa and chairs are on display here. Could you share your aesthetic philosophy with us?”

It was the red sofa they were sitting on. It was Gu Yi’s first time seeing Liang Daiwen’s work in person, and honestly, she didn’t understand its value. Among all the dark brown, understated furniture, the color of the sofa did stand out. Zhang Qingya smiled in satisfaction; she really liked Liang Daiwen. He spoke in a low, direct voice:

“I just make what the client asks for. People who can spend seven figures on a single piece of furniture likely live in a space large enough to have a courtyard, by the sea, or with a view like this one of Lujiazui. They can afford to pursue a spiritual lifestyle, and as long as the furniture meets their needs, that’s enough.”

“So, are you saying that the philosophy doesn’t matter?”

“They want a story. The aesthetic pursuit, that’s something we designers can package for them.”

An awkward laughter rippled through the audience. Zhang Qingya seemed like she wanted to interrupt him but couldn’t. He pointed toward the bedroom: “The smallest unit in the Bulgari apartment is 180 square meters with one bedroom and a living room. At least two of the walls are made of glass windows, providing excellent lighting and a great view. The basement and shared apartments, however, have no view at all. They might have vents for ventilation, which is rare. Good real estate focuses on feng shui, orientation, and size, whereas people in affordable housing are packed together. Because electric blankets catch fire, they’re kicked out of the city. Expensive cars block pedestrian paths, and the elevators are shut down... This so-called aesthetic is actually just a result of unequal resources.”

“Don’t you understand this phenomenon?”

“I understand, I just don’t accept it. People without outdoor views focus more on interior design, what’s in front of them, even their phones. You ask me about philosophy, but it’s just about class expulsion. Offline spaces are occupied by the wealthy, the spaces of disabled people are squeezed by able-bodied people. People live by stepping on those weaker than them...”

He was bold to an extreme. Even Gu Yi knew that at this venue, one was supposed to speak diplomatically, making sure to flatter potential clients, but his words were like digging his own grave. Zhang Qingya’s face darkened. With so many media present, the first person Liang Daiwen had offended was her.

The second session was a lifestyle attitude discussion between the editor-in-chief of “Yi Zhou” and Zhang Qingya. Gu Yi finally understood what Jacqueline’s recent meetings were for—cross-page spreads and three open slots in the schedule for公众号 articles. Avoiding the crowd, she went to the nearby restroom, where she overheard Zhang Qingya yelling at Liang Daiwen.

“You’re doing this to harm yourself. Is it just because you don’t want to draw designs for me anymore? I’m not trying to monopolize your time. We can renegotiate the contract...”

“I don’t want to do it anymore.”

“You sent the email a month ahead to cancel the contract, but you didn’t realize the assistant would clean up. Are you really going to work for those big internet companies that pay little?”

“I simply don’t want to do this anymore. Over the past five years, the orders you sent, with the client’s absurd requirements in English, Italian, and French, I stayed up all night to finish them and made the changes as best I could. The payment was good, but I don’t like designing for rich people. Their spaces are already abundant. They use money to buy quick, subjective designs, customizing the items they want. I respect that, but if I’m not there, someone else will replace me. You miss me because your clients want a robot who doesn’t alter the client’s demands and can create on their behalf. That’s what I’m best at. But now I want to do something I want to do. Not just reject you, I won’t care about anyone around me anymore—you know that, I never really care about anyone.”

“You’ve changed. You never used to be like this, just taking orders, always calm, like a thermostat. It all started when you helped that Italian professor with the doorframe and hallway. His electric wheelchair made you start caring about the disabled. People who inconvenience others in life should just be left behind. Why care about them?”

“This is the fundamental difference between you and me. You’ve always been privileged, hoping that those who disturb your life disappear. But those people are being pushed back into their homes by your thoughts.”

“Do you feel like you’ve become a tool for the rich?” Zhang Qingya suddenly smiled. “You’ve been in the circle since your student days, made your first bucket of gold with my help, and never knew what it was like to be poor. You can’t play the moral guardian role without considering your own class, can you? Let me tell you again—if the plagiarism gets exposed, you’ll have a stain on your record. Today, I’m giving you the last chance to redeem yourself. Don’t make me take responsibility for this.”

Gu Yi locked the bathroom door, pretending he hadn’t heard anything. Before Gu Yi could find Jacqueline, she had already appeared at the end of the hallway, politely greeting Zhang Qingya. The two walked towards the living room sofa, where their second conversation would take place. Jacqueline seemed to prefer approaching real high-society figures rather than others like her working in big corporations. She wasn’t interested in stirring up trouble or starting her own business; she treated the magazine as a tool for high-end and sacred publicity. Gu Yi finally understood why Zhang Qingya had invited her—she wanted to see how ordinary the girls Liang Daiwen was willing to get close to were, and to remind Gu Yi of the distance between her and Liang Daiwen.

She had long known that she was just a working girl in the city, dealing with the rules at the top while wandering at the lowest levels of life. Liang Daiwen was one of the few superior men she had encountered. If she hadn’t been randomly chosen, she wouldn’t even have had the right to enter his life.

The questioning session began, and the flashes of the cameras were deafening. Liang Daiwen sat on the sofa, resting his arm on his knee, with his lashes lowered, waiting for the time to pass so he could leave. Suddenly, a blogger asked, “Devin, your last design was accused of plagiarism from Finch’s chief designer. Can you talk about the reason behind that?”

This seemed to be the real conclusion of the event. Gu Yi finally realized that Liang Daiwen’s name had already been removed from the guest list. Zhang Qingya had long excluded him from her team. Zhang Qingya didn’t look victorious, but silently closed her eyes. Liang Daiwen raised his head, and just then, their eyes met. In the most awkward moment, Gu Yi unexpectedly locked eyes with him. She tried to avoid him, not wanting to meet him in such a distorted setting, but he saw her. His face finally showed the expressions it should have: surprise, shame, panic... Every expression was subtle but real.

Gu Yi’s heart raced with anxiety. If she spoke out, Zhang Qingya had exploited so much of your time, you wanted to do barrier-free design, but she automatically renewed your contract for five years, ignoring your request to cancel it a month in advance. The plagiarism is inevitable, which damages you too... At least, if you speak out, you can still be a clean designer...

Liang Daiwen, staring at her, simply said, his expression as indifferent as when he asked her to be his friend: “It’s because of my lack of ability.”

In the end, he still clung to employer relations...

After the event, a photography team took magazine pictures. Several young designers gathered around Zhang Qingya for a group photo, while Liang Daiwen stood far away, looking out the window, not paying attention to Gu Yi or anyone else in the room. A young girl secretly took a photo of him: “So cool, even though he plagiarized, there’s something about him that’s just cool.”

“Are you crazy? Plagiarists deserve to die. My parents are going to spend millions buying a kitchen island, and giving money to someone who plagiarized is disgusting. It’s not worth it just because it’s good-looking and practical; being handsome just makes him a vase...”

She walked over, and Liang Daiwen saw her, walking towards her as well. Gu Yi’s heart pounded. She wanted to embrace him in the crowd, pick up the microphone, and give a stand-up comedy performance, speaking the truth and offending others, something she was exceptionally good at... A large clothing display rack passed smoothly in front of her, with beautiful patterns on the labels but no definite price. She was pushed by strangers, feeling disoriented when Liang Daiwen extended his hand to block the crowd, pulling her behind him. She could smell the familiar scent...

She couldn’t help but ask, “You’re feeling something, right? You’ve started showing leniency towards others.”

“Why are you here?”

“‘One Week,’ Jacqueline is my boss. You’ve forgotten, haven’t you?”

He seemed genuinely angry now. His eyes opened wide, his pupils contracted and grew cold. He understood Zhang Qingya’s “well-intentioned scheme.” Gu Yi tightly held his hand, the cold expression on his face couldn’t stop the warmth rising from his palm. People’s gazes on his face were ignored as he dragged her to a corner by the window. Gu Yi thought, if there were no feelings, why was his hand so cold? Once the crowd dispersed, Liang Daiwen pursed his lips and left the room in large strides—he could have left earlier, but he was probably waiting just to take one last look at her.

Feeling sorry for someone is never without reason, and certainly not because of a problem with the heart. Objectively, there were other ways to solve this beautifully, but Liang Daiwen chose the most humane method—”I can’t feel it” started turning into a lie. The elevator descended, and Gu Yi stared at the numbers. Jacqueline glanced at her, but neither of them spoke. If we were really lovers, would we fill the gap with a hug when there’s a distance between us? Or do we all have dark corners, relying on accidental sparks with strangers to light them up, only to push away those closest to us?

On the car back to the company, Jacqueline assigned tasks, and all three interview drafts were to be written by her. There was one urgent piece for the new account Bypass, criticizing the designer Liang Daiwen for plagiarism and being expelled from the industry. Gu Yi’s fingers went numb: “Why write about plagiarism? Is this consistent with Bypass’s content?”

“I asked Zhang Qingya, and she agreed. She said she’d provide the materials herself. Just write it, you’re best at writing satire and sharp content, right? Try to get this to 10w+.”

She couldn’t smile. For the first time, her boss and client requested a 10w+ article for the new account, and it was to directly shoot down someone she liked. Of the four articles, three just needed to be polished with photos, but this last one was a soul-crushing piece. The PDF sent via WeChat didn’t even mention the termination email Zhang Qingya had received.

As the new editor-in-chief of Bypass, Gu Yi had no chance to set the tone for this article. As the person in charge, every word, every paragraph was corrected in the group by the client. She kept saying in the group, the public account is a media platform, it has its official media attributes, and you can’t highlight and bold condemnations. Rude language can be left to unofficial accounts. Zhang Qingya’s assistant even sent a voice message in the group: “The tone needs to be sharper. He’s been expelled, are you still defending him? The 100,000 yuan for the headline is for you to help him whitewash?”

The final confirmed content: Liang Daiwen was cold and rebellious, always indifferent to clients. As a third party, he relied on his team to maintain his image. This plagiarism incident had nothing to do with the HF Designer Union. High-end luxury design was already a niche industry where reputation meant everything. Only naive and mediocre talents could cause such a scandal... The more Gu Yi wrote, the angrier she became. There were multiple articles online condemning Liang Daiwen, and the company had accepted a hefty promotion fee. Jacqueline was waiting for this article to go viral and bring in data, while she was just the one holding the pen. Articles denouncing plagiarism would definitely be shared by those creating original content, as it represented the protection of intellectual property and the rejection of bad creations. With Ounce gone, there was no chance to vent by performing a stand-up routine for him...

She sent the article preview to Jacqueline, and Gu Yi, carrying both herself and her resentment, entered Jacqueline’s office. There were coffee grounds, contact lens solution, and a half-eaten sandwich scattered on the desk, as if Jacqueline cared more about the articles than she did—excited for the money, staying late just to see the article get published. Gu Yi blurted out, “I want to quit.”

“Quit because of an article?”

“Yes, I want to go full-time doing stand-up. This job gives me no autonomy. I just write whatever the clients want, there’s no freedom. I’m tired of it. No—it’s my fault, I’m not capable, my attitude is bad.”

“Don’t try to act like the guy you saw earlier. After dealing with internal conflicts for so long, you’ll see plenty of them. He’s just a discarded pawn. Pawns don’t look like much. Why are you so upset? Listen to me—if you don’t understand the media rules, what else can you do after you leave? You’ll always just be a senior copywriter. Before you learn how to control your emotions and handle operations, even if things go bad, you’ll have to stay here,” Jacqueline glanced at the article preview, rubbing her aching ankle. “Don’t sign your name on it. Just treat it like an intern wrote it.”

She rushed out of the office, unable to dispel her guilt. Standing in the hallway, feeling the cold wind, she dialed Liang Daiwen’s number. The beeping sound before the call connected felt like an electric shock, each beep striking the softest part of her heart.

“Hello.”

“It’s me. About those news articles online...”

“I saw them. It’s nothing. No need to call and ask. I’m turning off my phone.”

“I can help you write a statement, clarify that you already terminated the contract early, and that it was Zhang Qingya who ignored the email. Can you... can you let me do something for you?”

“You don’t need to stand up for me. I can’t feel anything. If this helps me let go and do what I want to do, my reputation doesn’t matter to me.”

“Liang Daiwen, you’re really silly. You might not feel bad, but the people who care about you will be hurt.” Gu Yi choked up on the phone. “I care about you, do you know that? I care...”

She thought Liang Daiwen would hang up, so she held the receiver tightly. All she could hear was his long silence. In the hesitating stillness, Gu Yi thought, one breath means I care about you, two breaths mean I like you, three breaths mean...

“Sorry.”

Then the busy tone sounded, the signal failed to send.