SOTBW - 103

Maximón opened the mansion door with a rough motion, showing his displeasure. The ones arguing with the guards were none other than Daniel and Jacob. As soon as Daniel saw Maximón, he called out, “Commander!” and pushed past the guards to enter the mansion.

Jacob let out a sigh of relief when he saw that Maximón was unharmed. He had been investigating what had happened with the Colnux Knights under Gwyneth’s orders, questioning witnesses and verifying the truth, when he had heard about Maximón’s injury.

Maximón had returned unharmed even after fighting several Serith beasts. To hear that he had been injured was surprising. Rumors had already been circulating on the streets about Maximón’s condition.

Jacob, unable to tell what was true, had hurried back to the Order, only to find Daniel arguing with the guards. Daniel had been busier than ever lately. If anyone in Romsoa was the busiest, it was certainly Daniel. Tomorrow, he was heading out for a campaign to the Elbision Count’s domain. Since no soldiers could be recruited from surrounding territories, everything had to be prepared in advance.

Daniel had missed several training sessions and battles over the past few days due to the upcoming campaign. The guards, unsure what to do, looked to Jacob for guidance. Jacob gestured for them to step aside.

“Is Najane alright?” Daniel asked Maximón, sounding somewhat accusatory, a rare display of emotion from him. Jacob thought Daniel’s question was strange. It had been Maximón who had been imprisoned in the underground prison, so why was he asking about Najane? Maximón stared down at Daniel and, placing his finger to his lips, quietly said,

“Quiet.”

Maximón’s voice lowered in warning as he furrowed his brows.

“Najane is asleep. Why do you need to know about her?”

“Did you know about Najane’s curse, Commander?”

As soon as Daniel mentioned the curse, Maximón’s expression darkened. Jacob, who had been anxiously watching their conversation, flinched. Maximón quickly approached Daniel, as though he were about to choke him. The curse on Najane was a secret known only to the two of them, and it was the decisive reason why she stayed by Maximón’s side.

Maximón had hoped that Najane would one day be freed from the curse, but he also wished for her to suffer from it forever. If the curse were eternal, Najane would stay by his side for a long time, and she would never dare to love anyone else. When he had first thought of using her, he even considered spreading the rumor about her being cursed. If others treated her as a former sex slave, she would be isolated and unable to leave.

But he didn’t. He didn’t want to tarnish Najane’s honor. However, now Daniel knew that secret. Maximón’s face hardened as he sensed something had gone wrong.

“Where did you hear about this?” Maximón pressed Daniel.

Daniel, seeing that Maximón had no idea, let out a frustrated sigh.

“You don’t know how Najane saved you, do you?”

“Explain clearly.”

“Najane proved that you were in the black market at the time when Nathan Armunzen was murdered. She proved your innocence, and that’s how you were released. She went to the black market that day to try to solve her curse. The rumors about Najane being a former sex slave in the black market are already widespread!”

Daniel shouted in frustration, and Jacob stepped forward, asking if this was true. Maximón remained silent, watching Daniel and Jacob exchange serious glances. Yet, their conversation didn’t quite reach his ears.

Maximón had anticipated this situation before. He had thought about what would happen if people found out about Najane’s secret, but at the time, he didn’t care much, thinking that whatever treatment she received was none of his concern.

For Najane, the curse was both her weakness and her shackle. It was a chain that crushed her freedom, love, and her dignity and humanity. Maximón used it to his advantage. He knew it was cowardly and disgusting, but he felt no guilt and saw no reason to. However, Najane had revealed the curse herself and, using it, had saved him.

With that curse.

That horrible curse.

The very one he had desperately wanted to hide...

Maximón ran his hand across his throat, then lowered his gaze to the floor. From now on, people would look down on Najane, seeing her as someone weak and easily overlooked. No matter how hard she fought to protect the fortress, they would subconsciously think of her as unworthy.

From now on, Maximón wouldn’t need to do anything. Najane would surely break under the weight of people’s gazes. When that time came, he would embrace her. He would cover her eyes, close her ears, gag her mouth, and lock her heart. Everything... everything would be...

In that moment, Maximón pressed his palm to his chest. His ribs had been aching slightly since earlier, a pain similar to the heartache he had felt long ago.

But Maximón wasn’t sad. He was surely pleased. The fact that Najane had revealed her flaw and saved him was a good sign. It was what he had always wanted. It was Najane, no one else, who had worked to save him. It had finally come true.

Maximón turned his back on Daniel and Jacob, entering the mansion. He could hear Daniel calling out, but he completely ignored him. He was eager to see Najane. If she was asleep, he wanted to wake her up and hold her. He wanted to kiss her lips, which would likely be pouting in her sleep. He wanted to hold her rough hands, worn from calluses, and lie next to her, gazing into her eyes. He wanted to tell her that he would give her everything, as much as she had sacrificed for him. He wanted to confess how anxious and lonely he had been all this time.

And then, what should he say? What exactly should he say...?

Maximón stood in the hallway, staring at the closed door. Beyond that door was a warm fireplace and Najane. The small bedroom probably smelled like her scent. All he had to do was turn the doorknob, and he would find Najane wrapped up in blankets, sound asleep. But he didn’t move. He just stared at the decaying door, doing nothing but look at it.

“Have you ever heard any rumors about the Commander of the Romsoa Knights neglecting his knights or soldiers for personal reasons? At least I haven’t. The Commander is not that kind of person. He treats everyone equally.”

Maximón was about to turn the doorknob when he rested his forehead against the old door.

“Don’t harm anyone. You have great power, so you must respect life more than others.”

Maximón gently pressed his palm against the door to make sure it didn’t open and closed his eyes.

“If you keep trying, one day you might save the Commander when he’s in danger.”

Drops of water fell from the worn roof and onto the threshold Maximón was standing on, possibly from melted snow.

Maximón bit his lip hard and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

He wanted so desperately to be loved by Najane. And he wanted to monopolize her world. It felt like he had known Najane for a long time. From the start, he had a feeling that if anyone could understand him, it would be her.

When sunlight poured through the window and cast long shadows, he thought of Najane. At first, he thought it was because he was conscious of her existence. But as the weather grew colder, he thought of her like someone longing for the drowsy winter sun. When the snow piles at the corner of the training grounds sparkled, he wanted to see Najane. When white smoke rose from the long chimney in the dining hall, he wondered if Najane’s hands and feet were warm.

Ah, Najane.

Kind Najane.

Foolish Najane.

Lovely Najane.

I tried to make up for my inability to be my father’s first by using you. I didn’t even hesitate to use you. I believed that if I became the whole world to one person, I wouldn’t feel insecure. I thought no matter what I did, you would understand and forgive me, that you would accept me even if my true nature wasn’t human, but that of a monster... because if you truly cared for me and loved me, you wouldn’t mind my true self.

Najane, I once mistook myself for someone who had never loved anyone. Love is beautiful. Just by watching how my father worries about Lucas’ well-being every day, I can see how great that love is. Love is pure and noble. It’s graceful, shimmering, and unaffected by any storm. That’s love. It’s eternal. Too brilliant for me to desire...

If I could love, I thought I could only imitate it with the soot left behind after my heart had burned away. I had never given my heart to anyone. I didn’t have a heart to give, or even if I wanted to, I didn’t know how or what to give. But all this time, I’ve been giving you the soot.

Maximón roughly wiped his wet face with his sleeve and took a slow breath. He heard some noise from the other side of the door. It seemed that Najane had woken up due to the commotion outside.

Stepping back from the door, Maximón managed his expression carefully and knocked. From inside, a voice called out, “Just a moment! I’ll be out soon!” She was probably rushing to put on her clothes in surprise.

Maximón chuckled softly, standing with his hands behind his back, waiting for Najane to come out. After a moment, the bedroom door swung open. Najane, likely in a rush to get dressed, had her clothes slightly askew compared to usual. She seemed quite curious about what was happening outside the mansion.

Maximón smiled faintly and adjusted the loose clothing peeking out from her pants. Najane, flustered, brushed off the wrinkles from her clothes.

“You must have woken up because of the noise.”

“Was it Daniel?”

“You’re close enough with him to recognize just his voice?”

“Um, I guess so.”

“Hmm.”

Maximón made an annoyed sound and began combing through Najane’s tangled hair with his fingers. Her hair was fine and smooth. After fixing it, Maximón hesitated for a moment, unable to take his hand away. He gently stroked her forehead, then ran his fingers over her thick, long eyebrows, gently touching the slightly swollen eyelids, and finally cupping her warm, still-drowsy cheeks before pulling his hand away.

“You revealed that you have a curse on your body,” Maximón said, speaking as calmly as he could. Najane nodded without hesitation.

“Ah, that. Yes, at the time, it was the best option. I couldn’t talk about Rockbell.”

“Why did you do that?”

Maximón asked, almost reproachfully.

“Why did you ruin your life to save me?”

Najane didn’t answer, but looked up at Maximón. It might have been her imagination, but it seemed like Maximón was avoiding her gaze. Tilting her head slightly, Najane gently brushed her hand across Maximón’s slightly damp cheek. When her warm hand touched his cold cheek, Maximón flinched, which seemed unlike him. Upon closer inspection, she noticed the faint redness around his eyes.

“Do I need a reason to save the Commander?”