Chapter 40: I’ve Made Up My Mind

The next day, Cheng Simin wrote a breakup letter over a thousand words long. In it, she listed the many ways Shi Ying had wronged her—how she had been devoted to him with all her heart, yet how he had repeatedly let her down.

It took Cheng Simin over three hours to write the letter, as the ink on the earlier drafts had been smudged by her tears. She didn’t want to be looked down upon by Shi Ying even in their final moments of friendship.

During the break between classes, she intercepted him in the hallway, staring at his legs as she handed him an envelope marked with the bold words “Breakup.”

At first, Shi Ying refused to take it. He stood an arm’s length away, his eyes dim and lifeless, staring at her for a while before finally asking just two questions:

“Have you thought this through?”

“Yes.”

“You no longer want to be friends with me?”

“Yes.”

Shi Ying nodded, took the letter from her hands, didn’t even glance at it, and tore it in half, tossing it into the nearby trash can. From that moment on, until several months later when Shi Ying transferred schools, the two of them never exchanged another word.

The world of children is simple, but also cruel. A decade of friendship ended effortlessly.

Perhaps Shi Ying, standing in the hallway now, remembered that day—the tenth year since the bridge of their friendship collapsed. The once-young boy and girl had grown into adults, quietly breathing, standing still without moving.

Because the space was so silent, the motion-activated lights in the hallway soon went out.

Cheng Simin expected to hear Shi Ying’s footsteps as he left, but he didn’t move. It seemed he was still waiting for her to say something.

Indeed, in the adult world, there is much more tact and diplomacy. People tend to avoid creating lifelong enemies. The Shi Ying of today had changed—he was far more generous and composed than before.

In the darkness, Cheng Simin shook her head, finally feeling less uneasy. She suddenly realized she wasn’t that teenage girl anymore. Her outdated feelings of inferiority and sensitivity could no longer harm her. So, looking directly at Shi Ying, she asked bluntly, “Shi Ying, are you angry because I’ve been avoiding you lately?”

Caught off guard, Shi Ying’s face softened like melting snow. His left hand, hanging by his side, snapped its fingers, and the hallway wall lamp instantly lit up. In the light, he first noticed Cheng Simin’s thumb repeatedly rubbing the joint of her index finger—a nervous tic she had since childhood whenever she couldn’t answer a test question.

So, in her mind, was he an unsolvable problem?

Realizing this, Shi Ying’s expression relaxed slightly. Feeling more at ease himself, he became less harsh with her. He lifted his gaze and offered a gentle smile: “Yes, a little. But mostly, I’m just hungry.”

Humans are animals too, after all—it’s hard to stay calm when you’re starving.

“Then let me treat you to dinner as an apology?” Even after years of living in the big city, witnessing its dazzling lights and bustling crowds, Cheng Simin couldn’t really be considered a trendy urbanite. She still didn’t know many ways to please men beyond feeding them.

From this perspective, they were like an arranged couple from an older era—aside from cooking for him, she didn’t quite know what else to do with her anxious heart.

But Shi Ying happened to appreciate this straightforwardness. Without hesitation, he agreed and began walking toward apartment 1203.

“What leftovers do you have today? Yesterday, I smelled chives and eggs all over the hallway. Don’t tell me you started making dumplings again?”

“No, I made chive pancakes. Was the smell that strong? Maybe the chives were too old.” Their conversation resembled that of an ordinary married couple. Cheng Simin naturally followed his lead, not yet realizing how familiar it sounded. The next second, Shi Ying stepped closer to her, reached past her body with his right hand, and opened her door.

The sudden closeness made Cheng Simin hold her breath, but it was futile. She couldn’t help inhaling the scent of roses mixed with ginger emanating from his open coat.

Shi Ying had showered, and his clothes carried the fragrance of La Route de la Mort .

The floral notes were sweet, the ginger spicy, and paired with Shi Ying’s sharp profile, it created an intensely ambiguous atmosphere.

A man and a woman alone together in a room—dry tinder meeting an open flame. What was this? They weren’t a married couple, nor an arranged one.

Cheng Simin tilted her head up. In front of her was Shi Ying’s prominent Adam’s apple; behind her, the cold, hard security door. Remembering the uncontrollable scene that had unfolded the last time Shi Ying entered her home, her pupils quivered. Just as the door threatened to push her into his arms, Cheng Simin suddenly crouched down, darting under his armpit like a rabbit.

Shi Ying turned back and raised an eyebrow at her. She bared her teeth, her mind racing, and quickly came up with an excuse: “There are only two chive pancakes left—I need them for breakfast tomorrow. Besides, they didn’t turn out well this time. They’re a bit burnt and the wrappers broke. Hey, Shi Ying! Let’s go out to eat instead. I’ll treat you to something nice.”

“It’s been ages since I last ate out. My mouth’s been watering for good food, haha.”

Cheng Simin used this excuse to prevent Shi Ying from entering her home. He shrugged, seemingly indifferent, but then pulled the door open another ten centimeters and gestured for her to enter. “Alright, grab your keys. I’ll wait outside.”

“Okay. Give me two minutes. I’ll tidy up and be right out.”

Cheng Simin slipped past him to grab her keys, bag, and tissues. Beibei’s tail wagged between her legs as she peeked her head out the door, winking at Shi Ying.

If dogs could make expressions, Beibei was currently doing its best to look pitiful. Shi Ying patted its head, rubbing the two white spots above its eyebrows with his thumb, as if understanding Beibei’s meaning. Then, through the door, he suggested to Cheng Simin, “Why don’t we bring the dog along? That way, it won’t bark when you leave.”

The other residents in the building weren’t as fond of pets as he was. People under pressure could become extreme, and to avoid unnecessary trouble, it was better to be cautious.

“Sure. Beibei hasn’t been out today—I’ll take him for a walk.”

As the two of them and the dog headed downstairs, there was a palpable tension. Cheng Simin was worried Shi Ying might take her to an expensive Western restaurant, while Shi Ying was dissatisfied with the mode of transportation he was about to use.

As for Beibei, who knows what he was thinking? He wasn’t sniffing every lamppost like usual. His tail remained drooping, and he followed them listlessly, unenthusiastic.

Just as they stepped out of the building gate, Shi Ying gave Cheng Simin a heads-up. “My grandpa’s car is a bit old—it’s just a means of getting around. Don’t judge it.”

Cheng Simin waved dismissively, even trying to save him some gas money. “I said we could ride an electric scooter. No need to drive—it’s such a waste of gas these days. For a meal and a short ride, it’d cost five or six bucks.”

At her words, Shi Ying imagined the two of them and Beibei squeezed onto a tiny scooter. His brows furrowed immediately. Ridiculous—he couldn’t afford to lose face like that. So, he politely declined: “Let’s drive. It’s better.”

Even an old Xiali was better than performing circus acts on the streets. A fallen nobleman still had standards.

After a ten-minute walk, Shi Ying unlocked the driver’s door with his car key, then walked around to the back to open the door for Beibei.

Seeing Beibei successfully seated in the back, Cheng Simin got into the passenger seat and started chatting nonsensically: “This car is great! It’s not that old. You always downplay things. It’s totally in style—retro chic!”

Shi Ying glanced at her sideways, knowing she was exaggerating to flatter him. He didn’t call her out but started the car, backing out while thoughtfully asking, “Is that so? Is it really that good? I must have poor eyesight.”

“Of course!” Encouraged by his response, Cheng Simin buckled her seatbelt and leaned forward to inspect the interior. “Look how clean your grandpa keeps it. There’s no weird smell at all. The velour ceiling and canvas seats are materials that easily get dirty, but after all these years, they’re still in their original color.”

“It’s much better than most ride-hailing cars. Some male drivers are terrible with hygiene—their cars smell sour and aren’t cleaned often.”

“Look how diligent your grandpa is. This car could last another ten years. I’d say it has plenty of life left.”

As she spoke, Cheng Simin spotted a small shadow on the overhead reading lamp. Without thinking, she reached out to poke it.

“Hey? There’s a mosquito! Don’t let it bite you—I’ll kill it.”

The car was dim, and Cheng Simin’s eyes deceived her. There was no mosquito—the shadow was actually a crack caused by aging plastic.

Unfortunately, she applied too much force. The already brittle lampshade shattered where her finger pressed, and yellowish plastic fragments rained down inside the car like a storm, unstoppable and incessant, until the lampshade completely disappeared, revealing a small LED bulb.

Shi Ying glanced at the plastic debris on his jacket, then returned his focus to driving, saying nothing.

Cheng Simin remained frozen in the position of poking the lampshade for a long moment. Her arm grew sore, and awkwardly, she withdrew her hand, brushing the plastic bits off Shi Ying’s arm.

The fragments were small and round, bouncing chaotically everywhere. After much effort, she realized she had brushed most of the debris into Shi Ying’s lap.

She couldn’t possibly reach there now—she certainly couldn’t dig it out with her hands.

At a red light, Cheng Simin sank back into her seat, closed her eyes in despair, and dryly said, “Shi Ying, after dinner, I’ll treat you to a car wash.”

A meal would cost at least two hundred yuan, and a car wash another fifty. What a loss! She might as well have invited him to eat the leftover chive pancakes at her place. She prided herself on being the goddess of cooking timing—how could she possibly burn the pancakes?

That was just an excuse to keep him out, much like his claim that the maid was mopping the floor back then.

Shi Ying turned to her, refusing to let her play dead. His eyes sparkled teasingly as he prodded, “Go on, didn’t you just say my grandpa’s car was new and good? Why stop praising it now? I haven’t heard enough.”

This time, Cheng Simin stayed quiet. She opened her eyes, manually rolled down the window, and muttered as she gazed at the passing scenery.

“Fine, I won’t praise it anymore. This car is indeed pretty old. When you earn money, you should buy your grandpa a new one. Listen—every time we go over a speed bump, it rattles everywhere. We don’t want the wheels falling off later.”

Shi Ying’s laughter, clear and flowing like mountain spring water, echoed through the streets of Banshan City. Cheng Simin rubbed her ears, annoyed by how loud his voice was. Like Beibei in the backseat, she stuck half her head out the window to catch the breeze.

The car circled the streets for a while, but they couldn’t find a single restaurant that allowed dogs. Shi Ying drove Cheng Simin and Beibei around aimlessly, recalling that Old Zhao had mentioned a famous hot pot restaurant nearby. Deciding to take a chance, he turned into the urban village along Taoyuan Road.

In the urban village, many residents kept dogs, most of which roamed freely on the streets, well-socialized and unfazed by strangers. Bringing a dog to eat wasn’t an issue here.

Shi Ying drove slowly through the dim, wide alleys, scanning the area outside the windows. Passing a few sleeping stray dogs lying in front of shop doors, he finally spotted the restaurant Old Zhao had mentioned, located across from several dilapidated buildings awaiting demolition.

The red signboard glowed under yellow lights. Bundles of beer were stacked outside the entrance, and the place buzzed with activity, clearly still open.

Before entering the urban village, Cheng Simin had been leaning against the car window, her eyes closed contentedly.

But as the car turned the corner and she saw familiar storefronts, she immediately became alert, leaning back and reclining her seat.

Shi Ying parked and turned off the engine in front of the hot pot restaurant. Beibei, eager to get out, began circling anxiously in the backseat.

Glancing sideways, Shi Ying saw that Cheng Simin was now lying stiffly on the car seat, her face hidden in the shadow cast by the car. Amused and exasperated, he reached over to unbuckle her seatbelt and teased, “Hey! We’re here—why are you sleeping?”

“Are you worried about spending money again?”

With the seatbelt undone, Cheng Simin still didn’t move. Shi Ying leaned over, bracing himself against the car door and adjusting the seat, trying to lift her upright.

“Cheng Simin, stop fooling around. Do you really think I’d let you pay? I’ll cover this meal, and you don’t have to wash the car either. Come on, sit up.”