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…And then Yin Mengxi had a very boring summer vacation.
How to put it?
High school classmates could probably gather within a week, and visiting other relatives and friends would take at most half a month. After this period of time, the hometown’s appeal would gradually diminish, while its small flaws would become more noticeable. The constraints of a small, close-knit society always made children returning from elsewhere feel somewhat uncomfortable.
By mid-July, her longing for A City was already hard to suppress—not only because she yearned for that freer environment but also because of Xiao Zhi. Heaven knows, she wasn’t usually someone who couldn’t bear waiting. She had kept her secret crush on him hidden in her heart for over half a year. If it hadn’t been exposed by Tang Fei and others at the hotpot restaurant, she didn’t know how long she could have continued hiding it.
Now, however, she found it hard to endure. Perhaps falling in love indeed had some side effects of making one lose their head. They had just started dating, and there were still many unknown sweet moments to unlock. She was completely hooked, thinking about him almost every second of every day.
But she knew she shouldn’t behave like this.
Why do people choose to secretly admire someone in the first place? Because most of them aren’t brave enough to express their feelings directly. Even if their affection is at its peak, they insist on keeping everything within a safe and secure range, fearing an awkward situation. Now, the insecurity brought by her secret admiration still affected her. She always worried that being too invested in this relationship might lead to some unpleasant outcomes. Therefore, she tried hard to convince herself to stay rational, calling him once a day and sending two QQ messages at most. Anything more would be considered a violation deserving serious consequences.
But what should she do during the times she wasn’t contacting him?
—She chose to tutor.
At first, it was somewhat forced.
She was quite famous in her small county town, being one of the rare students who got into University A. Relatives and friends with kids all wanted her to tutor their children. Unable to refuse her parents, she helped tutor a child a few times. Over time, the parents felt awkward and gave her some money as thanks—not much, fifty yuan for two hours.
For Yin Mengxi, who had just turned eighteen, it was her first time earning money, which made her feel very curious. Later, that parent introduced another child to her, and this time it wasn’t a family discount; she charged 150 yuan for two hours. Adding them together, she could earn 200 yuan. Twice a week in summer vacation meant 400 yuan a week, or 1600 yuan a month.
—This was a large sum of money!
Her family’s conditions were average, with both parents being small employees in private enterprises. Her monthly allowance was only 1000 yuan, and now tutoring earned her 1600 yuan a month, which was hard for her not to be tempted by.
Money…
When she was young, she had no concept of it. It was only after entering university that she gradually realized its importance. For instance, eating out or playing with roommates always involved splitting costs equally. Also, working in student organizations often required initial self-funding before reimbursement. Without some money, it was difficult even to function.
Moreover, now… she had a boyfriend.
Eating at the cafeteria every meal was impossible. Occasionally, they would eat out. She didn’t want to take advantage of him, so it seemed fairest for him to pay once and her to pay next. Movie dates should also be part of their routine, right? He buys the tickets, and she buys the popcorn and drinks—a fair exchange. Going on dates, she couldn’t look messy; she needed to buy some new clothes to dress up. This way, if those idle people on the school forum secretly took pictures of her again, she wouldn’t look too shabby…
Carefully calculating in her mind, she found that potential expenses for the next semester would be substantial. Relying on her parents was out of the question; earning her own money was more reliable. Thus, she earnestly tutored to earn money. Later, she asked relatives to introduce two more children, earning a total of 4000 yuan a month.
Though the money was plentiful, the energy it consumed was considerable. Preparing lessons took about an hour each day, preparing test materials took another hour, teaching itself took two hours, and commuting took an hour. Altogether, most of her daytime was gone, and she was free only around evening. That was the precious time she could talk to Xiao Zhi daily.
This was the moment she looked forward to most in the day.
The hard work during the day seemed to accumulate like currency, which could be exchanged for the gentle romance of the evening. The first thing she did when she got home was to go to her room, lock the door quietly, find her earphones, plug them into her phone, and carefully press each key of his number.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Waiting was like a delicate thread, pulling her heart to another distant city. When the call connected, the thread tied a beautiful knot, telling her everything could fall into place.
“Hello.”
His voice came through the receiver, always so calm and gentle, as if right beside her ear.
“Hello,” her fingers slightly tightened around the earphone cord. The nervousness and excitement of talking to him hadn’t diminished at all compared to the days of her secret admiration. “This is Yin Mengxi.”
Properly introducing herself, as if afraid he wouldn’t remember who she was.
“I know,” he seemed to smile, perhaps finding her adorable. “Are you home?”
“Mm,” she pursed her lips, her eyes bright where he couldn’t see. “Just arrived.”
At this moment, a bit of noise came through the receiver, as if a book was closed. She listened carefully, and after a while, heard him say, “You’re a bit later than yesterday.”
Oh, he remembered the time she arrived home yesterday.
Small happiness bubbled up. She tried to control herself and explained, “Mm… I was chatting with a kid’s mom today.”
“With the parent?”
“Yes, she asked me why I study so well and wanted me to write down my study experience and habits. She wants to stick them on the wall for her kid.”
The first half sounded a bit boastful. He seemed to smile again, his blurry voice like feathers, tickling her ears and heart.
“Why are you laughing at me?” she blushed, her voice like honey. “I really study well; this semester’s GPA is 3.82.”
After a pause, fearing it wasn’t impressive enough, she added, “Last semester was higher, 3.86.”
What a pathetic statement—like a tutoring kid eagerly seeking a little red flower from the teacher after correctly calculating the square of 15.
He was very accommodating, understanding her desire for praise and obligingly said, “That good?”
Like stroking the big ears of a little rabbit.
“Well, not bad,” she was satisfied but still pretended to be a bit coy, trying to sound humble. “What about you, Senior? What’s your GPA?”
He paused, as if caught off guard, then said after a while, “I haven’t checked yet. Hold on.”
She heard the sound of the computer starting up, then the keyboard, probably logging into the grade system.
“3.95.” A few seconds later, she heard him say in a neutral tone.
She: “…”
What to say.
It was both extremely shocking and not surprising at all.
“Oh,” her voice became a bit muffled again. “Impressive.”
He noticed, imagining the little rabbit looking dejected. His heart softened, and he comforted her, “Our department grades are generous, and the average GPA is naturally high. Plus, you’re still an undergraduate, and general education courses must add pressure.”
These were comforting words. She didn’t believe him and asked again, “Then what about your undergraduate GPA? How much was it?”
Actually, it was close to perfect, never below 3.9, but mentioning that now wasn’t appropriate. So he replied, “It’s been too long. I forgot.”
Tsk.
Clearly lying.
She complained in her heart but actually felt happy and proud, though she didn’t know exactly what she was proud of—was it purely for him, or for herself, having won such an excellent boyfriend?
She secretly smiled, changing the topic to ask what he did today. Just as he was about to answer, the doorknob suddenly moved—it was her mother calling her to help wash vegetables and asking why she locked the door. She was startled, nearly dropping her phone, and instinctively hung up. Through the door, she loudly replied, “Oh, okay, coming right away!”
Mom left, muttering sounds faintly passing through the door, complaining that her child had grown up and learned to lock doors.
She sighed in relief, feeling like a thief narrowly escaping capture. Looking down at her phone, she realized she had just hung up on him, and her anxiety immediately skyrocketed tenfold. Truly, ups and downs, twists and turns.
There was no choice but to open QQ to make amends—
She: Senior, sorry, I accidentally touched something earlier. I didn’t mean to hang up.
She: Can I call you again tonight? I need to help my mom cook now.
Thinking for a moment, she added a cute little rabbit emoji.
Half a minute later, her phone rang—
Him: …Okay.
Obviously, Yin Mengxi hadn’t told her family about her relationship.
Not only had she not mentioned it, but she also lied when her parents asked if she was in a relationship. She claimed her current focus was entirely on her studies, and various student activities kept her very busy, leaving no time for romance.
Seeing her seriousness, her parents were naturally reassured. However, they feared she was too serious and might miss out on important life matters. So they occasionally advised gently, “Xixi, actually, if you meet a really outstanding boy, you can consider spending more time with him. We aren’t old-fashioned. You’ve grown up and can date…”
Yin Mengxi listened and nodded solemnly, pretending to be serious with great authenticity. If Guo Yue had seen her, he would have regretted letting her help in the logistics team last semester, burying a talented actress.
—So why didn’t she tell her parents about her relationship?
Xiao Zhi was so outstanding, she liked him so much, and her parents posed no obstacles to this love.
The human heart is always tortuous and complex, not all content decipherable by the brain. At that time, Yin Mengxi was still too young to understand the obscure subconscious behind her instinctive decisions. Many years later, she realized that from the beginning, she had held a very pessimistic and passive expectation for her first love.
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