Chapter 73

“I’m here by your side for moments like this.”

Liang Daiwen turned around and smiled helplessly when he saw her. The feeling was... heartache? No, it was the trembling that came when the wind brushed over his clothes. And strangely, that feeling was stronger than the happiness of being embraced. Is love most unforgettable when it is composed of painful memories?

Standing in the place where light and shadow met, Liang Daiwen didn’t explain anything. Half of him was in normal color, the other half drowned in the dimness. Zhang Qingya spoke first, “Are you his girlfriend now? You can’t even give him the basic sense of security?”

“What does that have to do with you?” Gu Yi glared at Zhang Qingya, whose stern expression seemed completely out of place.

“He’s in pain.”

“Enough. Who are you, his mother? You ruined his reputation in the design circle and took over a million in breach of contract fees. Now you talk about security? What are you doing? Saving face? Whatever issues we have between us, they have nothing to do with you. And you’re crying? Are you upset because the breach fee isn’t enough?”

“You…”

“If you really care about your former junior, at least show him some basic respect and save yourself some dignity. I won’t interfere with my boyfriend’s freedom, but I’ll be wary of unsavory people around him. And I really don’t understand—who doesn’t go through rough patches as an adult? Why are you crying here?”

Zhang Qingya’s smile was full of disdain. Liang Daiwen stepped between the two, not smiling, his voice affectionate, “Are you done? We should head home.”

“Almost, but I can’t leave until Jacqueline does. But darling, you have to watch my bag. I secretly hid a Madeleine for you.”

She reached out to adjust Liang Daiwen’s collar. For a woman, the collar, cuffs, and the sting in the palm were all subtle gestures of possession. Liang Daiwen couldn’t help but pull open the door, ushering Gu Yi inside. The cool air from the hallway hit them, and he said, “You acted well.”

“I haven’t forgiven you.” Gu Yi’s face was cold. “Why do you have to share all your stress with Zhang Qingya? What is she to you, your ex?”

“No.”

“Then why do you prefer talking to her instead of telling me?”

Liang Daiwen didn’t answer. The Shanghai summer was hot and dry, but as they stepped into the suddenly cooler hotel, his anger was palpable, freezing on his face. “She treats you so terribly, and you only let me talk her down? I’m standing up for you, Liang Daiwen. You need to know who’s better for you.”

“You’re overreacting. I went up to the rooftop to get some fresh air because it’s too noisy downstairs and I wanted to wait for you to come home. I happened to run into her smoking, so we chatted for a bit. She said she misses me, and I politely replied that work has been stressful. And now you’re jealous?”

“You need to set boundaries with people who treat you badly.” Gu Yi was feeling miserable: “Liang Daiwen, don’t be too nice to the other women who like you. People’s hearts are easily swayed.”

“Don’t overthink it.”

“I can’t help it! She’s known you for how many years? How long have I known you? Our relationship isn’t close enough for me to fully trust others.”

When they returned to the venue, the drama surrounding Huang Wendao and Jacqueline seemed to have ended. Xu Guanrui was sitting in his seat, seemingly waiting for Gu Yi: “Rabbit, you’re not off work yet?”

“How can staff leave first? What about you?”

“I’ll be staying here tonight.” Xu Guanrui pointed upstairs, to the hotel rooms. Gu Yi thought he might be meeting someone, so she forced a smile. However, Xu Guanrui quickly sensed her mood: “Not happy?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just too tired today.”

“Don’t cry. I told you, no matter what happens, I’ll always stand by your side.” Xu Guanrui reached out to wipe her cheek: “Nothing is worth a girl crying, really.”

Gu Yi gently pushed his hand away.

“Thank you, but… I can’t accept being that kind of person. There are many other girls who don’t cry in front of you, right? I met one last time. She came to see your performance specifically, and she’s been your ‘comrade’ for almost two years. She said she doesn’t mind seeing you have other people to protect, but I’m not like that. Even if we’re just friends, I hope he will only extend his hand for me.”

The surroundings went quiet, as if all sounds had disappeared. Xu Guanrui awkwardly and sadly looked at her: “It was you who pushed me away first.”

“This is different.” Gu Yi looked at the fragile ally, who appeared as though his emotions had disappeared under the light: “Find someone who truly loves you, don’t let yourself be hurt again. You split your heart into many parts, hoping to be in the right place when true love comes, but every time you choose the wrong person, giving your all and then pulling back, being abandoned… Love wholeheartedly once. Don’t have backup options, invest more.”

After saying this, Gu Yi turned to look for Liang Daiwen. Xu Guanrui looked at her, searching for Liang Daiwen with an agitated expression. She was clearly upset. When she wiped her tears, Liang Daiwen had clearly seen everything from the door. Gu Yi tied up her hair, trying to compose herself and went back to work. Her footsteps betrayed her urgency. Her phone rang, and Xu Guanrui, clearly uninterested in going upstairs anymore, said: “Go ahead and sleep, I have things to do.”

Not finding Liang Daiwen, Gu Yi carried the remaining gifts to the company car, knowing that Liang Daiwen had seen her with Xu Guanrui. If he thought that all misunderstandings were cleared up, it would be a disaster. This was the beginning of complications between men and women. There seemed to be an issue with the artwork and installations being placed in the wrong car. Jacqueline was scolding Pony and the intern by the door: “You were already following the schedule, but you can’t even make sure the items match the list before sending them out? Don’t just nod, don’t apologize, go call and confirm it, act, hurry up…”

The camera was still recording, the flash momentarily blinding Gu Yi’s eyes. She suddenly remembered when Liang Daiwen was shoved backstage at the Rongmao Theater and refused to go on stage. She suddenly understood something. Regardless of whether they rekindle their feelings, Liang Daiwen’s characteristic is “taking everything in.” She realized now why whenever she was around him, it felt like being clothes that were left out to dry in the damp air: it was because Liang Daiwen, other than taking everything in, didn’t give any other feedback. He never got angry at her, never showed complaints or pressure, all the negative emotions were directed at himself. People usually judge based on deep-rooted ideas, preferences, and emotions, but he didn’t. He just took everything in, especially in love.

The earlier frenzied confessions were his biggest effort. He had never learned to open his heart, and the first girlfriend rejected him for being boring, the second couldn’t feel his love and chose to break up. If he never learned, would she give up too?

After counting all the equipment and seeing off the guests, Jacqueline told Pony that the 88-89 pages of the Weekly magazine had dropped. “Have you found the content yet?”

“I’m urgently looking for someone. It’ll definitely be done in three days.”

“Is it that hard to find a new topic? Every time you pick those same female writers to fill the pages, just middle-aged women’s self-help, in the end, all it does is give them a chance to boast in public accounts and books.” Jacqueline took off her silk scarf and folded it into her pocket: “Are you this lazy?”

“I have something.” Gu Yi stepped forward in the hot wind: “I have some material on barrier-free design. I can interview the Google Android team’s designers, and get the manuscript done in three days.”

There wasn’t much time; she needed to do something for Liang Daiwen. Jacqueline obviously understood who she was doing this for: “That article about love between men and women, you’ll have to finish it within three days. The schedule is tight, you can ask Pony for help if necessary.”

Pony gave a half-smile, nodding.

Originally, Gu Yi planned to quickly return to her rented apartment to write, but she rushed to the Van Gogh Gallery instead. Neither the bedroom nor the living room had Liang Daiwen, but there was the sound of water running in the bathroom. Gu Yi didn’t even take off her clothes, she opened the door and ran in: “About barrier-free design, do you have any concepts you want to convey? What work have you done so far? What difficulties are you facing in promotion? The Weekly has two pages for the feature, I’ll help you publish it. The circulation is still good, and I can export the electronic version and post it online.”

One hand gently brushed through her hair, lifting her gaze. Liang Daiwen was completely naked, calmly looking at her: “Did you finish talking with Xu Guanrui?”

“Trying to even the misunderstanding with me?”

“What are you here for?”

“To take a shower with you.”

“Too bad, I don’t have a bathtub.”

In the cramped space, the two stood facing each other, and soon, Gu Yi was drenched. The wet white T-shirt outlined the shape of her body, curves faintly visible. Liang Daiwen said, “You’ll catch a cold like this. Whatever you have to say, we’ll talk later. You should leave for now.”

“No, I’ll stay with you. When you were in your lowest point, you couldn’t understand the malice others had for you, and you couldn’t talk to the ones closest to you. If that’s the case, you’re no different from the person you used to be. But now, you have me.”

“I can’t drag you into my bad mood too.”

“Everyone has bad moods.” Gu Yi snatched the showerhead and sprayed Liang Daiwen’s face: “Are you an idiot? I’m here for moments like this.”

The man, wiping away the water droplets, looked at her somewhat awkwardly: “Really? I thought you were here to do something with me.”

“What did you say? Making dirty jokes again? I can’t hear, I can’t hear...” Gu Yi covered her ears, holding the showerhead in her hand, spraying water everywhere. Liang Daiwen pulled her hand away from her ears: “I said I love you.”

The warm water flowed over their bodies, and the wet kiss quickly turned into a merging of mutual desire. But it was not like before, when there were teasing and flirtatious actions; now, Gu Yi simply felt that this was the first time she felt his soul, shedding the intense and nearly crazed passion from before. Now it was a somewhat shy and grateful Liang Daiwen, opening up his inner self, unwilling to show it before. The water streamed from his neck to his shoulders, then flowed along the embrace to her collarbone and chest… She bit Liang Daiwen’s lips, as if passing on a language understood only by the two of them—the empty bottle of their souls, filled not only with stories but with trust, attachment, and protection. The tremor seemed to carry a sense of emotion, and the clichéd but romantic phrase “soul and flesh united” came to her mind. The reserved man, learning to give up his vulnerability.

After gathering information for three pages of Word in the study, Gu Yi went to the bedroom and coaxed Liang Daiwen to sleep. She propped her eyelids open and ran to the sofa. She also had inspiration for a rejected erotic manuscript.

“I seem to be unable to like only one person at a time. Like a puzzle, where there are protruding parts, there will be recessed parts. I always can’t help but look at other pieces, especially those gaps, like they are waiting for me to fill them. So, I look for consideration in A, soul connection in B, and just seek excitement in C... Is that a bit too much? But people are like this. They don’t realize it.”

“The trigger for a man to fall in love with a woman is very strange. I became serious with my current wife after being a friends-with-benefits, at that time I had a girlfriend, but we always argued, I was very lonely, so I did something wrong. But that night at the hotel, when we were still friends-with-benefits, my wife held my hand and never let go, because she saw I had something on my mind. The next morning, she had already left, but when I got out of bed, my slippers were aligned perfectly, as if ready to wear. So, I cheated. My ex-girlfriend hacked my email and sent an email to the whole company, accusing me of hooking up and cursing me out. My colleagues looked at me strangely, but I didn’t explain anything. Yes, I was wrong, ‘taking responsibility’ at that moment felt empty. I’m a coward, but if given another chance, I would still do it.”

“Here’s something a man won’t say. Do you really think we don’t understand women’s little schemes? We deal with bosses every day. Your little tricks, like sprinkling water, we see through them. But we know that behind the act of being coquettish or clingy, you’re trying to win our favor, and that’s why we’re willing to accept it. When we choose a lover, we want someone with a good appearance and a hot body, along with a shallow soul that says ‘great!’ But when it comes to marriage, we would rather you be smart, capable, and have resources, someone who has a father who can just give us a job. It’s exhausting to work. We also hope you develop hobbies that make you suitable for both home and work, so we can go out and meet new people—cheating and visiting prostitutes are just a man’s social activity.”

“My first girlfriend was beautiful, but we broke up quickly. It was still her who dragged it on for six months, but I wanted to break up after one month. She always used her beauty to suppress me, thinking she was sacrificing herself. Then she really worried about my work problems. When I had my salary cut, she cried, but it had nothing to do with her. I didn’t need her to share my struggles. What I hated the most was when she joked about confronting my friends or my mom, trying to see my reaction. When a woman’s love affects my self-interests, I will break up. I can date, but don’t challenge human nature. Now my wife is not beautiful, but she likes and comments on the funny videos I watch on Douyin, then watches them again with me. She says this is ‘synchronized happiness.’ Honestly, she’s cuter than anyone in the world.”

“My husband proposed to me in the summer, on a lawn, with mosquitoes everywhere. Before marriage, he cheated twice, because I wasn’t good-looking, there was nothing I could do about it. But his proposal was through a drone delivering the ring and love letter. The letter used an old chemistry joke: 2NaAlO2+CO2+3H2O=2Al(OH)3↓+Na2CO3, ‘Love you forever.’ We’ve been together since high school and graduated with biology PhDs. In that moment, Hera, I thought, forget it, two affairs in ten years, who wouldn’t want to see the outside world? There are more important things in life than marriage, but at least in that moment, he loved me.”

— “If you could give advice to those in love?”

— A: “Don’t check the phone.” B: “Don’t give too much love all at once, just a spoonful is enough.” C: “There will always be something more important than marriage, something to make you not take marriage too seriously.” D: “You’ll get bored, but at least be responsible and treat each other well. People need someone to rely on, aside from their parents.” E: “You’ll always find someone you want to share all the romance you’ve experienced with.”

Gu Yi stretched lazily after finishing the whole thing and found Liang Daiwen sleeping in the blanket behind her. Not sure if he was sleepwalking or trying to mimic her “trash cat” behavior, he had fallen asleep next to her like a silent act of coquettishness.

She brushed her teeth and crawled into the blanket. The floor was hard, but the man asleep beside her was warm. When she felt helpless and scared, she would go to the door, place clean shoes outside, and mechanically hug herself. He was like an unfinished robot. He wiped a mark on her white sneakers, as if his clean soul was being invaded by bacteria. Wanting to experience love, he had shattered his protective shell and willingly said, “I’m done.” She couldn’t get rid of him. Now, he simply wanted to do something good for his deceased mother, and the emotional pressure troubled him. It seemed hard for a robot to learn how to coexist with the world. She was there precisely for these moments, his “trash cat.”

Waking up from a nap, her phone’s public platform assistant exploded. She saw that friends or strangers on WeChat were sharing the post with captions like “Impressive” or “Spitting the truth” and “Not saying it out loud but knowing it.” The fan count and comments were rapidly increasing. She brushed her teeth and left for work, only to be called into the office by Jacqueline: “How does it feel?”

“Not much of a feeling, just good work performance. When I was assigned the 30-year-old cosmetics topic earlier, I also maximized the 1 million budget. My ability is just like that.”

Jacqueline was clearly happy: “The year-end award will be given on time. Let’s release a few more issues of the long comic, and send them to me as soon as possible.”

“It might be time to find someone else,” Gu Yi had been mulling it over for a while. “I’m resigning.”