MHD - 22

Chapter 22. The Best Performance

Wow, there was a faint murmur of admiration—or so it seemed.

At least, that’s how Hee-soo remembered it after finishing her prepared performance. She thought she saw a change in some of the judges’ expressions, but perhaps it was just her imagination.

On the way home, Hee-soo stared out the car window, though it felt as if her eyes were closed. The scenery outside didn’t register at all. Flickering colors blurred and disappeared beyond her field of vision.

Her memory of what had happened was fragmented. It had been so long since she performed in front of a camera and an audience that her mind was completely scattered.

Among the fleeting images in her mind was Baek Donghwan’s face and the hostile gazes of a few others who watched her sharply. Her heart raced as if it didn’t belong to her. Despite pretending to be calm, she delivered her memorized lines flawlessly.

“I believe this is how the female lead would have felt,” she had explained, but she couldn’t recall the expression on Director Bang’s face.

As Hee-soo struggled to piece together the scattered fragments of her memory, she tried to steady her increasingly ragged breathing.

“Yoon Seok, can you let me out here?”

“Huh?”

Even though they were almost home, Hee-soo asked Yoon Seok to stop the car. The confined space was suffocating; it felt like the roof might collapse on her at any moment.

She kept telling herself it was fine, repeating it over and over, but her heart still pounded as if it would burst, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was chasing her, ready to stab her in the back.

“It’s right up ahead.”

“I just… want to walk for a bit.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No.”

In truth, she wanted to say that something felt off, that she was overwhelmed with anxiety, but Hee-soo kept silent.

If she spoke her fears aloud, they might become real. She had always been the type to endure hardships without expressing them. Talking to others rarely brought any practical help anyway.

Even if I feel like I’m dying, this is something I have to endure alone. In the end, no matter what happens, I have to solve my own problems.

Hee-soo took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. She slowly walked the few hundred meters left to her house.

It’s fine. This is all just in my head. There’s no need to be anxious.

With each step, she repeated her resolve, over and over again.

Still, at least she had done the audition.

Her thoughts spiraled endlessly.

Will I pass the audition? Were the roles really already decided? If I get this role, will President Cha make some concessions? What about the investment funds Baek Donghwan threatened to withdraw? How will that be resolved? I feel sorry for everyone.

Ah. My head hurts.

A cool breeze brushed past her forehead, damp with cold sweat.

Suddenly, raising her head, she noticed the cherry blossom buds peeking out from the branches jutting over the walls of the alleyways. Winter, it seemed, was finally ending without her even realizing it.

Her vacant gaze lingered on the flower buds. Though she had arrived in front of her house, her feet refused to move forward.

Thinking of the dark, quiet, empty space inside, it felt like walking into a tomb.

Hee-soo stopped, turned around, and leaned her back against the wall.

“Phew…”

As she exhaled deeply, a man emerged from the shadows across the street.

It was Jaehyuk.

“Let’s talk.”

Jaehyuk, whom she hadn’t seen in weeks, looked surprisingly calm. His face wasn’t angry, and his tone wasn’t sharp.

It would have been easier if he had been furious like last time.

Hee-soo avoided his gaze and feigned ignorance as she asked:

“…What do you want to talk about?”

“There’s something I want to ask.”

Jaehyuk replied softly and took a step closer to Hee-soo. At his movement, Hee-soo flinched and instinctively shrank back.

It had been such a difficult day. Both her body and mind were utterly exhausted, and the thought of hearing anything more from Jaehyuk in this state terrified her.

“You’ve never done an advertisement for our company—Kangrim Group’s subsidiary.”

“…”

“How could someone like you, who does anything for money, turn that down? I can’t understand it.”

His dark eyes bore into her, unblinking, as if piercing through her soul.

“I…”

Yes, this is the chance to tell him everything. To just say it all…

As Hee-soo opened her mouth to speak, the humiliating words she had heard back then came rushing back, striking her chest like daggers. Words she had buried deep inside and tried to forget—words that Jaehyuk never knew about.

“You just quit because you didn’t feel like doing it anymore. You didn’t even appreciate all the effort I put into nurturing you. And now you’re avoiding me because you’ve grown tired of me. That’s just who you are. Understand?”

The remnants of the past she thought she had forgotten came storming back like a whirlwind, filling her with injustice and sorrow—and everything that had happened to her since that day.

She had so much she wanted to say, but couldn’t.

Her lips felt cursed, unable to form any words. Hee-soo dropped her gaze to the ground and muttered in a small voice:

“…It’s all in the past.”

Even though she deliberately avoided his gaze, she could feel Jaehyuk’s eyes on her entire body. His voice turned icy at her response.

“The past?”

“I told you to stop. I said let’s end it. So just forget about it…”

“Forget?”

Jaehyuk sneered sarcastically, shaking his head.

“How convenient. How can you just forget? I haven’t been able to forget—that’s why I’m still like this.”

Hee-soo bit her lip and looked up at Jaehyuk, but the emotions swelling in her throat were forced back down, swallowed once again.

“What good does clinging to the past do? It’s over. Bringing it up again is just pathetic.”

“Hah.”

A long sigh followed. At the end of it, Jaehyuk laughed hollowly.

“Seo Hee-soo.”

Jaehyuk murmured her name softly as he took another step closer.

“You live so easily. Just saying ‘it’s in the past’ makes it sound like it never happened.”

“We’ve been apart for ten years. What does it matter now?”

“Yeah, ten whole years of my life wasted while you stabbed me in the back.”

Jaehyuk vented his resentment as he advanced step by step. Hee-soo backed away until her back hit the wall, leaving her nowhere else to retreat.

By now, Jaehyuk was right in front of her, trembling with barely contained anger. His fists were clenched so tightly that the veins on the back of his hands stood out starkly against his pale skin.

“Enough!”

Unable to contain his fury, Jaehyuk slammed his fist hard against the wall.

“Ha…”

Amidst the drawn-out sigh, Hee-soo slowly raised her head. Her gaze shifted from Jaehyuk’s arm, which was still trembling against the wall, back to his face.

His ragged breaths brushed against her cheeks, each exhale laced with bitter laughter.

“If not that…”

The moment Hee-soo sensed a shift in Jaehyuk’s gaze, he placed both hands on the wall behind her, trapping her within his embrace.

“At least try to push me away when I get close.”

His eyes burned fiercely as they locked onto hers, piercing through her like arrows aimed straight for her heart.

“Reject me. Hit me, push me away.”

Jaehyuk’s hand moved to grip the nape of her neck, holding her firmly in place. Leaning down, his face came dangerously close to hers.

With just a little more pressure, their lips would have touched. In a low, growling tone, Jaehyuk spoke through gritted teeth:

“If you truly want me to let go of you, insult me. Make me feel disgusted even being near you.”

His breath was so close that it brushed against her lips with every word. The distance between them had closed completely, their bodies pressed tightly together without a sliver of space.

Jaehyuk’s intense gaze poured down onto her face.

The hand gripping her nape was scorching hot—or perhaps it was her own body that was overheating.

Her face felt flushed, burning with heat. Unable to push him away, Hee-soo despised herself for waiting, hoping he’d come even closer. She found herself laughing bitterly at the absurdity of it all.

After everything, did she still harbor feelings for Lee Jaehyuk?

You can’t reject me, his eyes seemed to say.

No matter what you’ve been through, no matter what I’ve done, you’re still swayed by me, aren’t you? It’s not just me who can’t let go of this relationship—you’re the same.

As their eyes met, Hee-soo felt a wave of disgust—not for him, but for herself.

You’re right. I still want you.

But you’ll never understand.

You’ll never know what I endured to protect your pure love back then—or how that love shaped me. Do you know what? We’re not kids anymore. We can’t stay pure forever.

Hee-soo’s eyes grew cold.

“…You know, when I think about it, you and your family always seem to have it so easy.”

Hee-soo slowly spoke, her gaze locked onto Jaehyuk’s face, their eyes almost touching but not quite. Her pupils were filled with hostility.

“After humiliating me like that, you still come barging into my life, acting all wounded. How pathetic.”

As Jaehyuk’s expression twisted in pain, Hee-soo let out a faint, bitter laugh.

Yes, you still make my heart race, and I hate you for it. So let’s shatter these feelings of mine into pieces. Let’s tear them apart completely.

With a mocking smirk, Hee-soo deliberately curled one corner of her mouth upward and spat out the words she had never wanted to say. If there was one thing she was confident in, it was her acting.

“Yes, I needed money.”

“Hah.”

Jaehyuk narrowed his eyes, glaring at Hee-soo with unbridled intensity.

His distorted, deeply wounded gaze bore down on her, his bloodshot eyes clawing their way into her chest like sharp talons.

Her lips trembled as she held back the tears threatening to spill over.

But Hee-soo didn’t stop.

“Instead of waiting around for Lee Jaehyuk to return from the military, I needed money to buy a single meal that day. And you seemed to like it, didn’t you? When that pitiful girl willingly walked away for just a few coins.”

“Stop it.”

“In the house of Lee Jaehyuk, money is the most common thing, isn’t it? And I was just a despised nobody compared to something as trivial as that.”

“Hah.”

While Jaehyuk glared at her as if he wanted to kill her, Hee-soo maintained a cold, indifferent tone and asked dryly:

“Jaehyuk Oppa.”

“…”

“Want to sleep with me?”

“What?”

At Hee-soo’s words, Jaehyuk’s eyes widened in disbelief.